


No Other Love

by Chicki



Category: The L Word (TV 2004)
Genre: Circa 2007, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 185
Words: 267,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23249893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicki/pseuds/Chicki
Summary: Bette and Tina's journey starts in high school...
Relationships: Tina Kennard/Bette Porter
Comments: 446
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I pulled up in front of Tina’s house to find her outside playing a little one on one basketball with her younger brother Mark. I waited in the car a few more minutes for Melissa Ferrick’s “Drive” to end before I got out and joined her and Mark in the driveway. It bothered me at times, that I couldn’t run up to her and just hug her and kiss her like so many “straight” couples could, especially around the halls of the High School. Tina……nope, she wouldn’t have it. She was so far in the closet that even if it were emptied out, she would find a spot to blend in and not be seen. It made it hard at times, but I did what I had to do so we could be together…closet or not. As I walked up the driveway, Tina hadn’t been paying much attention as she bounced the ball and began walking backwards right into me. I grabbed hold of her hips.

“Whoa…..careful” I said, which caused her to take a step forward, forcing my hands to slip away from her hips.

“Hey …Baa....Bette” Tina had almost slipped and called me Baby. Now that would have made for an interesting moment in front of her brother.

“Hi Tee”

“Bette, my sister is such a girl” Mark said before taking a shot.

“I know” I replied in total agreement as I checked out her ass while she got herself into position to take a shot herself.

“She hates to lose” Mark complained.

“I know that too” 

“I need to get going Mark….tell Mom I’ll be at the library” Tina tossed the basketball to Mark.

“You tell her”

“Don’t be a jerk, just tell her” Tina said as she reached behind her head  
and removed the elastic band that was holding her hair back.

As we got into the car, Tina reached over and slid her hand on my leg.

“This sucks sometimes” I said a bit disgruntled.

I didn’t have to explain what was bothering me, Tina had known my feelings about us having to censor everything we did in school, at her home, and in the general public.

“Babe, I know…I’m sorry…..my parents would completely freak out if they knew I was with a woman”

“Tee….don’t you think at some point you need to tell them? How will you stay in the closet all your life?”

Tina shrugged. She came from an Irish Catholic family, whose father made some rather inappropriate comments at times about people’s sexuality, race, and even religious beliefs. It had always been very clear how bigoted her family was. 

“Bette….we have talked about this so many times. You knew that when we started to date, that I could never be out. I just can’t……why can’t you try harder to get that?”

“I do get that. I just think that you might one day feel bad you never did come out, that’s all”

“I can’t think beyond Graduation next month, let alone coming out. If I live far away from them, they won’t know anything about my life except what I tell them. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to grab something to eat at The Planet.”

“Okay” was about all I could say.

I remembered quite well being where Tina is now. It was only a year ago I came out to my parents, and it wasn’t the most pleasant experience. My Dad was a real jackass about it, but my Mom was fairly cool. I had read on some of the Lesbian message boards, that it can get harder as you get older because you end up letting society drive those fears further and further into your psyche. I hated to see Tina ever getting to that point. I also thought often about how we would ever be able to really have a family and stuff. We had talked about it a few times, and were hoping to get into the same College together, or at the worse have a small commute to one another. I guess she was right, we had plenty of years ahead of us to figure it all out.

“What was up with Jill today?” I looked over at Tina, when she asked the question. She had turned down the visor to look at herself in the mirror.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“She was a complete bitch to Shane in the Girls Room”

“What about?” I said as I reached for the button to lower the radio.

“She was pissed because Shane wouldn’t give her a cigarette”

“But she doesn’t smoke does she?”

“No…she doesn’t. Shane caught her smoking in the Girls Room once…they had a fight over it and she ended up not seeing Shane that night when they were suppose to go to the movies”

“Damn…she needs to dump that chick” 

“No kidding. So…..the Basketball Team is going to go out Friday night”

“Friday? This Friday?”

“Yep”

“Are you going with them?”

“I don’t know…I really was hoping to be with you. Aren’t your parents going away this weekend?”

“Yes….I was hoping we could make the most of it actually”

Tina slid her hand to my inner thigh as she turned to face me.

“I was too…..god I hate having to schedule sex” 

I felt Tina’s hand dip further down as she squeezed my crotch. I hadn’t realized the light turned red up ahead, as my mind was obviously brought somewhere else. 

*** HONK ****

I hit the brakes and stopped before I went through the light.

“Jesus Tee”

“Baby you need to pay attention when you’re driving” Tina said with a smile as her index finger touched my nose.

“God you……you are just bad” I said as I broke into laughter.

“You know it” Tina said turning so her back was against the seat again. “Do you have any gum?”

“Yeah, in the glove compartment”

We pulled up in front of the Planet and found an available space in the first row. 

“Looks like Alice is here. Is Dana coming?”

“I doubt it, she has Tennis practice this afternoon” Tina said as she got out of the car and pulled at the bottom of her jersey which was about a half inch above her pierced belly button. The hip huggers she was wearing fit her body like a glove, and boy did she have one hell of a hot one.

I slipped my hand around her waist as we walked into the Planet. This was the one place she felt comfortable to be “out” in public. In school, there were a few faculty members that knew her father pretty well. They golfed together every now and then, and she was extremely careful to be distant in that arena.

“Hey Tina…over here” Alice shouted from the table in the back.

“Hey Al…..what’s that you’re drinking? 

“Razzberry Fizzle”

“Let me try” Tina took a sip of Alice’s drink. “Mmmmm…it’s good”

I sat down next to Tina, wishing Friday was here. After her spontaneous grip on my crotch in the car, I was already juiced up wanting nothing more than to have sex.

“What’s up with you Porter? You look like you’re having a bad day”

“I’m fine” I said as Tina looked over at me.

“What’s wrong baby?”

“Nothing……I’m good….really” I tried hard not to show how sexually frustrated I was feeling. It had been over a week since Tina and I had sex, and I was so ready for her. I started to wonder if we could have gotten away with a quickie in the ladies room.

“What can I get you gals” Jenny was the waitress who everyone loved to hate. 

“I want what she is having” Tina pointed to Alice’s drink.

“Ice Tea with a Lemon for me”

Jenny didn’t bother to write anything down. Instead, she turned back to the counter.

“Anyone hear from Shaney?”

“No Tina…did she know we were meeting up?”

“I think so….Bette didn’t you tell her?” 

“Yeah, I saw her in the parking lot after school. She was in her car waiting for Jill”

“Jill…..she’s such a cunt” Alice said abruptly.

“Heyyyyyy….I hate that word” Tina said.

“Fine…she’s a twat…a pussy….a douche bag….is that better?” Alice asked.

“Much” Tina laughed.

Alice looked at Bette and Tina. They were two of the hottest girls in the school. Almost everyone had known Porter's sexuality, but Tina had done a pretty good job hiding her's. Although, rumors would be rumors, and the fact she hung with Bette often, only fed them more.

“Can I just tell you, that you gals have got to be the hottest lesbian couple that is in the closet” Alice remarked before sipping her drink.

“Now that is the strangest thing I think anyone has ever said to me” I offered back as I reached into my pocket to retrieve some money.

“Here you are” Jenny placed the drinks down in front of Bette, flashing her smile. “Is there anything else?”

“Um..I think we are all set” 

I caught Tina glaring at Jenny out of the corner of my eye. There was some bad blood between them, as Tina was convinced that Jenny was after me. There was some jealousy there too, because Jenny was "out" and as a result, Tina always felt Jenny could offer me that which she couldn't, an open relationship.

“Bette….are you all set?” Jenny said again, leaning her hip towards the table. She was flirting, it was blatantly obvious.

“I believe she said she was fine” Tina answered for me.

“Tina, don’t you think Bette is capable of talking for herself? When are you going to take that leash off her?” Jenny could be crude, and this type of behavior was typical.

“Fuck you, you wouldn’t know what to do even if you had a girlfriend” Tina shot back.

“I certainly wouldn’t force my girlfriend to stay in the closet. I would love her openly in front of everyone” 

That was a low blow, and I knew it was one that was going to cause a problem. Just as I tried to intervene with my own remarks, Tina was already up and leaning over me grabbing for Jenny. She just missed Jenny’s shirt as her arms continued to flail wildly.

“You’re such a fucking slut” I grabbed hold of Tina as her temper clearly got the best of her.

“Tina…stop” I said as I tried to calm her down.

“Jesus…..why does everyone have to hate” Alice piped up, holding onto her drink.

Jenny walked away from the table and back to the kitchen as I held Tina around the waist.

“I hate the bitch” 

“Shh…let it go….you need to not let the fire in your belly get the best of you” I said as Tina sat back down aside of me.

“Yeah…that Irish will get you in a world of shit” Alice offered.

God there was something so hot about Tina when she got all worked up. Her face turned pink, her blue eyes looked like they had flames in them at times, and her neck….when she was really pissed it had this line that showed. It was cute as hell. The state I was already in, this wasn’t helping.

“I can think of much better ways of expending energy” I offered as I raised my brow to Tina. 

Tina wasn’t happy in the least. I could tell by the way she completely ignored my offer that Jenny had really gotten under her skin.

“Tina…..don’t let her get to you. She likes to piss you off”

“I don’t like what she said Bette….I’m already very sensitive to the fact that I can’t be “out” with you in every aspect of the word. I can’t stand this…I just can’t stand knowing who I am and not being able to live my life”

Tina put one leg over mine and let herself out of the booth we were sitting in. 

“Tina…where are you going?” I quickly joined Tina as she made her way out of the Planet. She opened the car door and sat in the front seat crying. I immediately joined her inside the car and put my arm around her as she cried.

“She makes me feel guilty……that I am not giving you all you deserve”

“Tina…..Tee…look at me” I placed my hand under Tina’s chin and raised her head so her eyes met mine. There was little fire in them now, for her tears hadturned them a crystal blue. “you give me everything I want and more”

“Bette…..don’t lie”

“I’m not”

“When I got in the car before, you told me that you were frustrated by it”

“Tina I do get frustrated. It isn’t because of you, it is because of the world….the way things are”

“But if you were with someone else you would be able to live outwardly. You aren’t in the closet…..regardless of the other obstacles, you would at least face them together…holding hands….putting arms around one another and kissing....reaching across a table in a restaurant besides the fucking Planet……I can’t give you that…..Jenny’s right”

Tina started to cry more. I leaned over and pulled her into me and held her tight.

“Shhh…….fuck Jenny okay? I don’t give a shit what Jenny says. I love you…..and you love me….and sometimes when you love someone things aren’t always perfect, things are not framed just like you want them to be. But I love you Tina Kennard….and I want to be with you….today….and forever. Don’t let some easy two bit tramp make you think otherwise”

Tina’s sobs had slowed. Her tears dried in the same lines they created on her face. The only evidence that remained was her lashes that were still wet.

“I love you too……so much. I’m scared Bette”

“About?”

“I’m worried we won’t get into the same school. I worry about if we do. It’s like either way I find myself worrying about our future”

“It would be good if we get into the same school Tina. Hell it would be even better if we got to share a dorm” I wiggled my eyebrows which caused Tina to chuckle.

“I know….and then I think about if we do go to the same school, how fair is it then that you should be in the closet with me?”

“Tina…..I have always encouraged you to be yourself because I just feel that one day you might really wish you came out sooner. I can’t imagine you would stay in the closet forever. I mean, when it’s time for us to have kids you’ll have to come out……won’t you?”

Tina looked at Bette and tilted her head. She was so in love with this beautiful brunette, and felt like one of the luckiest girls in the world. She could make her laugh, put her mind at ease, and had become her rock at times. This time was just another moment where she felt herself falling more in love with her, and fearing a future…with a woman with every growing feeling.

“Tee?”

“I’m sorry…..what?”

“Forget it…it wasn’t that important. Just try to relax okay? What did you want to do?” I asked, trying to think of somewhere that we might be able to just hang out for a little while.

“Point Rock” Tina said in a serious tone.

“You sure….we don’t have to” I offered while I kicked my own ass, hoping in a selfish way she would still agree to go.

“No….I want to” Tina said. 

Tina was unusually serious as we drove to Point Rock. Anytime we went there to make out, she was usually pretty horned up and extremely excited about it. This time, she was different. As I pulled down the dirt road that led to the open area that was usually a bit populated, it was unusually empty this night.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I parked in the far corner, away from the only other car that was there. It wasn’t really that dark yet, but the area where I brought my car to a stop, had a few trees which covered a lot of the light from illuminating the car. Tonight felt so different, Tina just wasn’t herself, and I wasn’t sure how I could get her to talk if she really wasn’t up for it.

“Tee…why are we here?” I asked gently.

“Because I love you and I want us to have sex,” she said as she unbuttoned her jeans.

Absent from her face was that usual smile, present was a person who was being very ‘matter of fact’ in her demeanor.

“You just don’t seem like you want to be doing this, it’s more like you’re forcing yourself or something. You don’t need to prove anything”

Tina had lowered her zipper and kicked her sandals off before lowering her jeans revealing a dark blue lacy thong. “I’m not proving a damn thing. What are you waiting for?” she questioned with a level of haste in her voice.

“I just wanted to be sure…”

My words were cut off by Tina leaning across the car and across my body. She was pushing her slender fingers through my hair as her lips pressed against mine. I felt her tongue urgently request entry as it forced itself against my own. I wasted no time in parting them, allowing our tongues to wrestle with one another.

“Mmm…I love you,” Tina said between small breaks in our kisses. “I want you so bad”

Tina struggled to free the button from my pants as her mouth remained merged with mine. I felt how anxious she was becoming to have contact with me. I reached down and took hold of my jeans, undoing them myself. As soon as I lowered the zipper her hand was inside them.

“Mmm…no…undies?” she asked in between sultry kisses.

Before I could answer I felt her slender fingers slide between my lips, which had become drenched, a confirmation of just what Tina did to me. My hips turned up at the moment she slid her fingers inside me. I was juiced up and she knew it.

“Put the seat back,” Tina instructed as she started to move her body onto mine. 

I slid my hand down to the side of the seat and pressed the button, causing her to fall further into me when it went back. Her fingers were inside me, her thumb circling my clit. I shuddered from the incredible feelings she was creating.

“Bette…touch me…please touch me.” She begged.

I took hold of her shirt and in one desperate move, I pushed it up high. When I did, I had taken her bra with it, exposing both of her firm breasts. My eyes were fixed on them as Tina continued to send waves of pleasure through my body. I placed my hands on her back pulling her body into me as I sucked hard on her swollen nipple. Car sex sucked sometimes, and being a rather humid evening, it became rather oppressive inside the car. I moaned as I felt her thumb once again graze my clit while her fingers continued to remain inside, massaging my inner walls that had begun to close around her fingers.

“Mmmm….so good.” I moaned into her breast as I tasted the skin of her nipple.

Tina felt her center tighten more and more as her own sense of need heightened. It wasn’t enough to feel Bette’s mouth just on her breast, she needed more contact in a different place. Her blonde hair was beginning to stick to her forehead as her perspiration grew inside this steam filled car. 

“God Bette…what …are you waiting for?” Tina said as she took in the incredible feelings that were rocking her body while I pleased her breast with my mouth. 

Before I was able to proceed at my own pace, Tina had grabbed one of my hands and slid it down inside her thong. My fingers were soaked as I slid them over her clit. She was more than juiced up, and her pleas matched how aroused she had become.

“Fuck me baby,” she pleaded as her free hand wildly made its way through my hair, her other hand continuing to stimulate me. I rolled her swollen clit between my thumb and index finger, knowing that the most sensitive part of a woman’s clit was at one o’clock. 

With my fingers easily lubricated, I continued a crazy rhythm. I felt her hand drop from my hair to the back of the seat as she grabbed hold of it tight. “Jesus…Bette…Ohhh god nabyyy…right…there…right there….yesssss……oh god d..do…don’t move.” Tina begged as her hips began to grind against my hand.

Things were getting so crazy in the car, the feelings, the stimulation, the heightened steam inside the vehicle. It was hard for me to hear her as all I could feel was myself getting closer to climaxing.

“Tinaaaa…cum with me…I’m gonna cummmmm” 

As both our bodies rocked from the insatiable shots of pleasure that wracked our bodies, we came as close together as possible, our screams of delight barely confined to the car as we rode out our orgasm. Tina laid limp on my body as we both breathed deep and fast. It had become impossible to see through the windows that were hazed with a thin layer of condensation from our hot breaths. We were both sweating, our body temperature high as our bodies began the journey back to their former state. 

“God that was so fucking crazy,” Tina said into my shirt. She removed her fingers and brought them to her mouth. “Mmmm…god you always taste so fucking good. How do you do that when you don’t even wear panties huh?”

“Who needs panties? They can’t show off this fine ass if I were wearing them.” I knew I was being cocky but hey, I was the Alpha I could be.

I pulled my fingers from Tina and slid each one into my mouth slowly, wanting to savor her. If she thought I tasted good, there was no better taste than the flavor of Tina Kennard. “I prefer this flavor.”

“Good…don’t ever forget it.” 

“I won’t…because you and I are forever…we’re never splitting up” 

Tina’s eyes locked with mine as she pushed a strand of hair from my face. “I hope not Bette.”

I could see the fear in them. I wasn’t sure anymore if it was really about the unknowns that lay ahead in terms of College, her having fears about us remaining in the closet and whether we could both last in that type of life, or if it were something all together different. 

“Only we can determine that Tee. As long as we love one another and we know that we want to be together, what can stop it?”

“Nothing I guess.” 

“That’s right…nothing. Tee...we WILL have our own place one day. After College we are going to have great jobs. We will have a nice house, cars, kids. We have our whole life ahead of us.”

Tina just smiled and said nothing. I could see the hope in her eyes, but that glimmer was also matched with a seed….the seed of doubt. She leaned back in and kissed me, as she did, we could taste ourselves on the other’s lips as our mouth’s reengaged in another steamy and sultry kiss. It wasn’t long before we were having sex again, and it would be a few more times before we ended up heading back to her house later on.

*******************  
TINA’S HOUSE

“I’ll get you on the IM,” Tina said as she got out of my car.

“Okay….I should be online in about an hour.” 

“I love you Porter.”

“I love you too TK.”

I watched as Tina ran up the walkway to the front door. She turned and waved back to me before going through the front door and into her house. I wished so much that I could put her doubts to rest. However, I realized that only time, and our ability to stay together no matter what schools we ended up at, would be what would remove that doubt. I had been with a fair amount of girls, but Tina....she was different. 

**************  
LATER

“Tina, Dad wants to see you.” Tina’s mother seemed a little serious.

“Where is he?” Tina sensed something was wrong but she wasn’t sure what it was.

“He is in his study.”

Tina went to the study and knocked on the doors. She was apprehensive, because traditionally when her father was in the study, it was that he chose to not be interrupted. To be sent there, was unusual.

“Come in.” 

As Tina entered, her father had just lit his cigar. The smoke was hovering around his face as he puffed on it to get it going.

“Mom said you wanted to see me.” 

Jerry motioned for his daughter to take a seat on one of the leather chairs that faced his mahogany desk. There were few times that Tina was ‘summoned’ to her father’s study, one time she would rather not remember at all, for it elicited some rather disturbing memories. While she waited for her father to talk, she couldn’t help but recall that day when at the young age of eight, a ‘family meeting’ took place there. It was the moment they addressed, as a family, Tina’s being victimized by her mother’s sister’s husband. During that meeting, it was decided that it was best for the family to disregard what had happened during that 2 year period, and in doing so, put the matter to rest. Tina stared at the small chip in the wood at the base of the desk. It was the same blemish she stared at on that uncomfortable day.

“Tina. I played golf today with Dan Cahill, your Biology teacher.”

Tina looked up from the base of the desk, waiting for what her father would say next. She never had any issues with Mr. Cahill, so she was curious what any of this was about.

“I was a little concerned at what he had implied.”

“What?” 

“Well, his son, Jarrod had told his Dad that …there were some rumors that you are a Lesbian.”

Tina felt her face go flushed. Her father was known to be a pretty forward man, and this moment was an example of how blunt he could be. Her initial reaction was that she wanted to tell him that her sexuality was really none of his business. However, she also knew that saying that was an admission. At the very same time she was trying hard not to show any physical or emotional reaction to his question, she struggled with what she would say to him. She felt this enormous sense of betrayal in denying her love for Bette. Hell she felt she was betraying her own self in lying to her family about who she really was.

“Tina? Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I did.”

“You realize how embarrassing this is to me…to our family don’t you?”

“Dad, I can’t help the rumors that get started. Kids are ignorant and immature.”

“Why would Jarrod say something like this?”

“Because he’s …a pompous ass to be honest.”

“I don’t appreciate that language young lady.”

“He is! He is one of those really scummy guys that just want’s to have sex with as many girls in the school as he can. I won’t put out, therefore he doesn’t like me.”

Tina had quickly devised a response that she was sure her father would feel proud of. He puffed on his cigar as he took in what his daughter had revealed.

“Ah...so because you won’t become a number under his belt, he is spreading a rumor that you are a homosexual. Interesting…well then…I’m proud of you young lady. I never gave that possibility a thought.”

“Dad, most of the guys at school are like that. They just want to go out with you so you can boost their ego. I’m sure you wouldn’t want rumors that your daughter is sleeping with all the boys in school….would you?”

“Most certainly not! I’ll deal with Cahill next time we hit the green.”

Tina took a deep breath in and exhaled it slowly. “Anything else?”

“We need to sit down soon regarding the schools you applied to. We should be hearing back this week and I’m hoping that we will hear back soon about Yale and Harvard. I think those will offer you the best education and opportunities to follow.”

Tina’s heart sunk once again. She was hoping for California completely. At worse she wanted to have to just commute by car to see Bette, certainly not to be that far away. She had been hoping with all her heart that she wouldn’t be accepted to the other schools that her father insisted she apply to. If accepted, she would have to somehow explain it all to Bette, for she hadn’t been aware of Tina’s applications to schools outside of California.

“Okay.” Was about all Tina could muster before excusing herself.

******

I had been online for a little bit, IM’g with Shane and Alice while I waited for Tina. I wasn’t sure what the delay was, but thought maybe she was just enjoying a hot shower longer than usual.

AL: It was funny as hell. Tina was ready 2 rip Jenny’s hair out

~S~: I wish I saw that! She would have probably accused me of giving her a bad haircut

AL: lol, yep

~S~: Porter u there?

BP: Yes, waiting 4 Tee

AL: Where is she?

BP: Don’t know

~S~: Hey I can’t believe I didn’t tell u guys. I heard back from Laney College. I’ve been accepted!

AL: Shaney way 2 go

BP: That’s gr8 news, u must be excited.

~S~: Very. It is one of the more popular beauty schools.

BP: I still have my fingers crossed 4 Stanford because they have a gr8 communications program that Tee would probably be accepted in 2. She applied there.

AL: What happens if u both don’t get into the same school? U going to keep dating?

BP: Absolutely. We probably won’t c 1 another often. Nothing a weekend commute can’t handle.

~S~: Way 2 go Porter. 

While I was in the middle of typing back, another window popped up. It was Tina. I added her to the conference the three of us were having.

TK: Hey gals

~S~: hey Tina

AL: Tee finally!

BP: Hi babe. I’ve missed u

TK: Aww thanks baby. I missed u 2. I had been summoned 2 the study 2 see my father when I got in tonight

BP: Why?

TK: Jarrod Cahill, Mr. Cahill’s son. He told his Dad that I was a lesbian, and his father told my Dad when they golfed today.

AL: Golf, god I hate that sport, so yuppyish 

~S~: Yuppyish isn’t even a word

TK: Al Tennis isn’t? LOL

AL: Not when Dane is rushing across the court in that cute little skirt

~S~: LMAO

BP: Tee, so what happened?

TK: I sweated it out but I came up with a good 1. I told him that Jarrod has been wanting 2 sleep w/me and because I wouldn’t, he’s starting rumors

AL: OoooOo clever

~S~: High fives TK

I forced myself to type something. It was moments like this that I just felt so lost in our relationship.

BP: so he bought it?

TK: yep

BP: good right?

TK: for now

AL: What did you 2 end up doing tonight?

TK: GRRRRRRR … : - )

BP: LOL

~S~: Oh yeah, SCORE

TK: BP is just an animal

BP: ME?

TK: Yes baby you * wink*

BP: As I recall, there was a certain blonde that started the whole thing

~S~: Damn woman, I sure hope you aren’t complaining any

TK: Thanks Shaney, she knows better

AL: Aww poor Bette had to put out tonight

I was happy that the conversation was somehow steered away from Tina’s discussion with her father and instead took on a much lighter tone.

*******  
LATER

Alice had been the first to leave when Dana came online. The three of us were left taking bets as to whether they were going to have cyber sex on Skype and the webcam.

TK: 10 bucks says she buckles

BP: I don’t know. Dane doesn’t like cybering

~S~: Yeah but Al does, and Al gets what she wants

BP: true

TK: do you guys remember the first time Alice and Dana cybered?

BP: Why would we remember?

TK: Because silly, the very next day, at school, Dane was convinced that all the other people on her “friends” list must have somehow saw her on her webcam LOL Don’t u remember?

~S~: I remember. She was so paranoid. She thought Bette had looked at her funny that day.

BP: OMG I do remember that

TK: LMAOOOOO it was hysterical. You had cranked her up the rest of the day babe. You said something about her landing strip and she was mortified. She had forgotten we talked about our hooch’s one time.

BP: That was really funny. She was pretty uptight about it.

~S~: yeah BUT once again, the power of the pussy came through. She did end up getting one when she had been encouraged too right? 

TK: she sure did. Someone else I know did too….** wink **

BP: I already had one.

TK: like hell u did.

~S~: LOL…okay kids, I have to run. Later”

TK: night Shaney

BP: later Shane

~S~: Out

TK: Hmm….so…..looks like we are alone. * arching brow*

BP: Yep…looks like that…what to do?

TK: GRRRRRRRRR

BP: GRRRRRRR


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

NEXT DAY

I was leaning into my locker retrieving my History of Art book when Felicia had leaned against the locker next to mine. I hadn’t noticed right away, until I started to take a step back, at which time I noticed the heels. I stood there for a brief moment, taken by how beautiful she was. She was one of the most sought after women in the school, by both boys and girls. I leaned on my locker door which remained open.

“Hi Bette.” Felicia brushed a stray piece of hair away from her face.

“Hi Felicia”

“I was wondering if you might have some time one night this week to get together?”

I felt my heart skip a beat as I forced myself to swallow. My throat had gone dry and it seemed almost impossible to muster any saliva. The way she said it…..it was inviting.

“Uh…for…what?”

“I needed some help with my art paper. Who best to ask for help than you right?”

“The paper isn’t due for a few weeks,” I said with some hope that maybe she might find someone else to help her. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Felicia, I did. The problem was that people had already begun to question what was going on with me. Many of the girls knew I was gay and yet I wasn’t dating….at least not to them, therefore they considered me available. I didn’t want to put myself in a compromising position where Felicia felt she could make a pass once we were alone.

“I know. However, it will take some time to pull it all together.” Felicia was persistent to say the least.

“True”

“Can I ask you something Bette?”

“Um….I guess”

“You have got to be one of the most beautiful girls in the school. It’s no secret we are both lesbians. Why haven’t we gotten together, and more important, why they hell have you been single for so long?”

I didn’t know what to say. Talk about a loaded question. I couldn’t “out” Tina. I couldn’t be honest and say I was with someone either, for it would only spark her curiosity even further to discover just who it was. I was at a loss.

“Porter shy?” Felicia smiled as she took a step in closer. I could smell her perfume as she came close enough to slip something into the front pocket of my jeans.

“Call me……I’m up for some fun.” Felicia walked past me, and I stood there stunned…captivated by the power she exuded. 

I reached into my pocket at pulled out the small piece of paper. It was her phone number, name, and a small heart all in what appeared to be her own handwriting. I stood there staring at it a moment before placing it back in my pocket and closing the locker door. As I did, I didn’t realize Tina had been standing there on the other side of it. I wasn’t sure just how long she had been there for, but her expression was tight, her face a bit flushed. Before I could say a word, she turned from me and started walking really fast.

“Tee……wait up.” I shouted after her. Once I caught up to her, I took hold of her shoulder. “Please….wait. Let me explain”

“Explain? Explain what? Explain why the school’s lesbian slut is all over you!? Explain why you seemed to be enjoying it!? Explain why she had her mouth next to your ear and I didn’t see you try to move in the least!?”

“Tina, she asked me to help her with the paper she is doing in our Art Class”

“Really? Do you honestly think that is the only thing she wants?”

Tina was furious. It was a combination of her jealousy, but also that she had that inability to be “out” like Felicia was. She wasn’t able to plant that flag saying that Bette was off limits, that she and Bette were an item. She was more outraged with the walls and boundaries she lived with, than what Bette had really done. However, Bette was the one to take the brunt of her upset.

“Tee…..I’m not interested in Felicia in that way. You have nothing to worry about”

The second bell rang, indicating that students had 3 minutes to be in the classroom.

“I have to go” Tina said before running down the hall to her class.

****************  
LATER

It was 2:35pm, and I was sitting on the hood of my car waiting for Tina to come out of school. I had hoped we could talk about what happened earlier in the day, as we hadn’t had a moment to really talk about it. Study hall had come and gone, and she hadn’t showed up. I tried to call her cell phone, but it kept going to her voicemail. I placed my sunglasses on as I listened to the tunes that were coming from the cars speakers.

“Bette!! Come here…..HURRY!” I looked over to the other side of the parking lot where Alice was shouting for me and motioning to go. A number of students had already gathered. Without hesitation, I slid off the hood of my car and ran over, hoping that as I did, I wouldn’t miss Tina coming out of the school. It was important to me that we talk. As I got closer I realized there was obviously some scuffle taking place. Then, I heard Tina’s voice.

“You fucking bitch, stay away from her!” Tina had taken hold of Felicia’s hair and was pulling it. 

“Stop it!” Felicia yelled as she tried to both defend herself and shove Tina away from her.

By the time I was able to push through the crowd, Shane had already gotten in between, taking one firm blow in the face from Tina, which was intended for Felicia. I grabbed Tina around the waist, and lifted her as I pulled backwards.

“Let ME GO!” Tina resisted.

“Tee…stop” 

One of Felicia’s friends yelled at Tina as I tried to gain some control. “Tina you big gaymo! Don’t blame other people for coming on to your girlfriend if you don’t have the balls to come out of the closet”

“Fuck you Cheryl!” I said as I encouraged Tina to take a few steps further from the crowd.

“Go to hell.” Tina brushed her shirt and pants as she glared at Cheryl and Felicia.

“Ms. Kennard, Ms. Ambrosino in my office…….you too Ms. Porter” The school Principal was not happy in the least. 

Alice had placed a tissue on Shane’s face. She had a minor abrasion from Tina’s ring.

“We’ll wait by your car.” Alice said to me before we followed the Principal back into the school.

Once we were inside her office, we were all given demerits, and Tina and Felicia were given five detentions on top of it. The demerits would be mailed to our homes.

“I do not expect there to be any further issues with any one of you. If there is, you risk being suspended and losing privileges in attending graduation ceremonies”

We all remained rather silent, while Tina’s body language expressed one of complete defense mode.

“You are all dismissed.” The Principal walked over to the door and opened it, watching each of us as we passed by.

Tina and I walked in one direction, while Felicia walked in the opposite direction. We both remained quiet until we had gotten outside to my car. Shane and Alice were leaning against the car listening to the music. Shane’s cheekbone had already started to discolor.

“I’m sorry about that,” Tina said.

“You sure know how to hit for a girl,” Shane offered with a smile.

“How much trouble did you guys get in?” Alice asked.

“A demerit for each of us and detention for me and that slut for 5 days”

“Ouch!” Alice grimaced.

As I looked at Tina, she had so much pain in the form of anger at this time. This was exactly the struggle I tried to talk to her about when it came to being in the closet. It wasn’t easy, not on either one of us. 

“What caused all that anyway?” Shane asked.

“She was coming on to Bette earlier. I hate her…she is nothing but a stuck up snob. She has boobs but she has no character”

“Meoowwwww” Alice wrinkled her nose up. “She is hot though”

Tina shot a glaring look at Alice.

“Al…..don’t.” Bette warned. “I don’t want to be a party pooper, but Tina and I really need some alone time”

“Didn’t you two just have some of that alo…”

“Come on Al!” Shane interrupted Alice from finishing her sentence.

Shane and Alice walked over to Shane’s car, while Tina and I got into mine.

“Tee…..talk to me” 

“Babe…..I’m just pissed. It’s so fucking hard not flaunting “us” sometimes. I hate this, I hate hiding the person who means the most to me. It isn’t fair to you, it isn’t fair to me, it just…it isn’t fair. Why can’t I walk down the halls hand in hand like everyone else? Why do I have to masquerade around like this?”

“Because….you aren’t ready to take that next step Tee. This frustration is the exact thing I was telling you about. It sucks. After a while you feel like some caged animal that yearns for nothing but the freedom from that which keeps her bound. Tina, if you don’t come out and just be who you are, you lose the best part of you”

“I can’t Bette. I just can’t. I depend on my parents right now. I have no place to live, and the only option is school. That being the case, they are the ones paying for it. I can’t be “out” like you can. There is nothing I would want more than that, but I just can’t…not right now….maybe never”

I knew that being with Tina, even in our future would require some sacrifice on my part. I was out in every aspect before she and I started to date. It was a major adjustment for me to try to remain more reserved. It had taken some time to not take it personal when I would absentmindedly reach for her hand and she would abruptly pull back. But….I loved Tina, very much. I was willing to make some changes in my own life, so that our lives could merge in a way which she felt comfort. I was grateful that we were at least able to be in a relationship, that she was willing to at least take that much of a leap out of her “safe” zone to explore something with me. I was her first, and I had hoped I would be her last.

“Don’t say never Babe.” I offered in reassurance.

*******************  
THAT NIGHT

Mark came in from shooting hoops outside in the driveway. “what’s for dinner Mom?”

“Lasagna, go tell your sister that dinner is ready please”

“Alright”

Mark headed upstairs to Tina’s room and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Tina said, closing her journal.

“Mom said dinner is ready”

“Okay”

Mark started to leave her bedroom when Tina stopped him. “Hey Mark…. I need you to do me a favor”

Mark took a few steps back into the room. “What kind of favor?”

“Well, you end up home before me and Mom always sends you out to get the mail from the mailbox. There is going to be something coming in the mail from the school. It will be addressed to either Mom or Dad. Do NOT show it to them. Hide it somewhere….under your shirt, in the garage, anywhere”

Mark formed a devious smile. “What do I get out of it?”

“The chance to live another day!” Tina said firmly.

“Nope….no deal.” Mark started back out the door.

“Wait. What do you want?”

“Well……how about you clean my fish tank…..throw the garbage out for one week….um…..give me ten bucks”

“What?! I’ll clean your fish tank and throw the garbage out but you aren’t getting any money. I don’t have any”

“If you would find a job you would,” Mark shot back.

“That’s none of your business, and for your information, I have a job that I am starting soon,” Tina said in defense.

“Good…then you can pay me the ten bucks”

Tina was irritated by her little brother, but she really had no choice but to accept his deal. Avoiding the wrath of her parents made any deal look inviting.

“Five bucks, the fish tank and the trash for one week and you have a deal”

“Okay…Deal” 

Mark insisted that they shake on it, then went downstairs, followed by his sister. Upon arriving downstairs, Tina’s father was smiling at his daughter when she took her seat.

“What?” Tina asked.

“My darling daughter, you have been accepted to both Cornell and George Washington University”

Tina’s heart sunk. She was hoping for Berkeley or Stanford, at least something in California.

“Dad, what about the other schools I applied to?”

“We haven’t heard back, and to be quite honest Tina, it would be foolish not to accept Cornell. The only other school that you applied to that I would say would be one which would boot Cornell aside would be Harvard. Otherwise, it would be completely foolish not to accept Cornell as your school”

Mark had dived in to the lasagna, completely ignoring the conversation and how important it was to his sister.

“Dad, I really want to stay closer to here. I’m hoping for Stanford or Berkeley to be honest”

“Tina, those are great schools, but the Communications programs at Harvard and Cornell are outstanding. It also offers a variety of programs you could transfer into if you chose to”

Tina was devastated. She could tell from her father’s excitement and persuasiveness that he had already chosen which school he wanted her to attend. She stared at her plate and pushed the pieces of Lasagna around that she had sliced apart with the fork.

“Jonathon got in trouble at school today,” Mark was speaking with food in his mouth.

“Honey, please don’t talk when you have food in your mouth”

After Mark swallowed what he had in his mouth, he continued his conversation. “He brought a frog in and put it in the teacher’s desk drawer”

“That’s retarded,” Tina said.

“Tina that wasn’t nice.” Catherine buttered a piece of bread and handed it to Mark. “Here honey”

“Thanks Mom”

“May I be excused?” Tina asked.

“You didn’t eat a thing” Catherine remarked.

“I don’t feel very well”

“Catherine, the kid is obviously excited by the thought of being accepted at such wonderful schools. You should be proud of yourself Tina” Jerry added before taking a sip of his wine.

“That’s fine, you may be excused. You can heat it up later if you want”

“Thanks.” Tina pushed her chair back and stood up. “I’m sure it was good Mom”

“We are taking Mark to the sports store to get some new cleats. Then we have some errands to run”

“Oh….um…okay. How long will you be gone for?” Tina was hoping to have Bette come over while they were gone.

“A couple of hours, because you want to stop at the Top Spot Cigar Shop don’t you Jerry?”

“Yes, I was planning on it”

“You scared to be alone?” Mark teased.

“No Rugrat I’m not! I may just ask Bette to come over……we can study”

“How is Bette making out with her schools?” Jerry asked.

“I don’t know…she hasn’t said”

“Did she apply to Cornell?”

“No, just local schools”

“Ah…..so that’s why you want to be more local eh?” Jerry smirked. “I remember when I didn’t want to lose touch with some of my best school buddies. However, sometimes you’ll find that you all come back together later on in life. Look at Alfred, he ended up two streets down and he had studied abroad”

“I guess.” Tina was down about all of it. Not to mention, she hadn’t even told Bette she had applied to schools outside of California. “I’m going to go upstairs”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will continue to post more chapters to gauge if there is any interest in continuing to post. Hope if you are reading you enjoy!

CHAPTER 4

THE PLANET

“Where’s Tee?” Dana asked.

“She’s home. I haven’t heard from her since I dropped her off there after school” Bette was struggling with the whole confrontation at school that day.

“You okay?” Dana could sense Bette was less boisterous than she usually could be.

“Yeah, just thinking about stuff”

“Hey Porter, do you want something to drink?” Alice yelled from the counter.

Bette shook her head “no” just as her cell phone started to vibrate.

“Hello”

“Hey, it’s me”

“Hi Tee”

“My parents are going out for a couple of hours. Do you want to come over and keep me company?”

“What time are they leaving?”

“I think they will be gone by 545pm”

“Okay, I’ll come by. I’m at the Planet right now”

“Oh yeah? Is the gang there?” Tina wished she could have just left and met up with them. However, her father had discouraged her getting her own set of wheels where she would be off to college. 

“Just missing Shane. She called and said she was on her way though. She should be here any minute”

“I’ll text message you when they leave” Tina just needed to be near Bette. The day’s event had caused her to feel isolated as well as concerned about everything.

“Good idea. Do you want me to bring you anything?”

“No thank you. I’m going to reheat some lasagna”

“Okay”

“I love you,” Tina said in a soft voice.

“I love you too Booch” Bette flipped the phone shut just as Shane walked in.

“Hey…sorry I’m late”

“I bet you are,” Alice snarled. “What flavor was she?”

Shane put her hand through her hair and smirked. “Don’t get too cocky Al, or you won’t get any”

“I can get it when I want it” Alice leaned over and kissed Dana’s cheek. “Right Babe?”

Dana smiled and nodded in agreement.

“I wasn’t talking about that you goof. I was talking about some weed…..weed that I just scored”

Dana’s eyes widened.

“Jesus Shane…..I could get in a world of shit if I’m with you and you get busted with that.” Dana was alarmed. Hoping to one day go pro, she never participated in any of the funny stuff that the girls occasionally passed around.

“Not me, I’m not going pro so I’m in.” Alice sipped her drink.

“Bette?” Shane looked over to see if Bette was game.

“Sure.” It had been some time since I had gotten high, and tonight seemed as good as any.

“Let’s go out back.” Shane suggested

The girls each threw down some money on the table before exiting the Planet.

“I’m waiting in my car,” Dana announced, breaking away from the girls. She headed for her car which was parked in the middle of the lot.

“Damn that girl needs to loosen up. I sooooo want to see her stoned,” Alice admitted followed by a chuckle.

“One day maybe.” Shane carefully pulled three joints from her pocket and handed them out.

As they each lit their bone, they inhaled deeply followed by the occasional cough.

“So…..where’s Tina tonight?” Shane asked, squinting her eyes as the smoke irritated them.

“Home……*cough*….I’m headed over there in a little bit.” 

“Any word from the Colleges yet?” Shane asked before breaking into a coughing fit.

“No……nothing” Bette replied as she started to feel herself getting a little giddy. Her eyes were already bloodshot and glossy.

“Shit I am so horny now,” Alice declared following one long exhale. “I hope Dane is in the mood to put on her groove”

Alice had busted out laughing, causing the other two girls to join in. The weed was already making them rather silly, not to mention one girl pretty horny.

“Shaney don’t you get horned up from getting high?” Alice questioned.

“Nope”

“Do you honestly think that it’s the weed that drives her towards all those women Alice?” Bette giggled.

As their laughter and silliness increased, Bette’s cell phone had vibrated in her pocket.

“Lookey there, Porter brought her fucking vibrator,” Alice roared. 

“Fuck you Alice,” Bette said as read the text message from Tina, informing her that her parents were gone. “I bet I get some long before you get some”

“Sex?” Alice asked.

“You bet…..that’s my beautiful blonde telling me to head on over, she’s waiting for me to make her toes curl.” Bette smiled, flashing a conceited expression.

“It’s a shame Bette…..you could have been right behind me if you didn’t decide to get serious and date just one girl…..ouch!” Shane burned her hand on the small piece of joint she had been trying to savor. She shook her hand. “Bitch!!”

“On that note, this bitch is leaving to get some of this.” Bette grabbed her breast. 

“Well you can go get that, but I’m going to get some of this.” Alice took her hand and grabbed her crotch. “I prefer pussy over tit any day”

“Must we make choices like that?” Shane asked as she laughed hard.

“No shit,” Bette said as she turned towards the lot. “Thanks for the hit Shane, I owe you one.

******************  
TINA’S PLACE

When Bette arrived at Tina’s, she was feeling rather capricious. She rang the door bell, and was graced with the presence of the beautiful young woman she had dropped off earlier that night. As soon as Tina opened the door, Bette stepped inside and slid her hands around her waist.

“Baby…the door…..my neighbors will see” 

As Bette started to slide her hands up and down Tina’s sides, Tina pushed the door shut, eliminating the possibility that neighbors might catch a glimpse of them.

“Mmm….” Bette moaned into Tina’s neck as her mouth found that spot. 

Bette and Tina both shared a rather high sex drive. Young girls, hormones raging, it wasn’t unusual for them to have sex every opportunity they could get, especially if it was a chance of being in a bed. However, Bette had gone in for the kill before even saying hello to Tina. Tina placed her hands between them and gently pushed Bette’s chest so that she broke away from her.

“Bette? What’s going on?” As soon as Tina saw Bette’s eyes, she knew she was stoned. “You’re high?”

“Yes, I am. So?” Before Tina could say anything, Bette started to sing “I believe I can fly…I believe I can touch the sky…..I think about it every night and day…”

Tina started to laugh. “Come here.” Tina slid her fingers between Bette’s belt loops on her jeans and pulled her to her. She pressed her lips against Bette’s while Bette slid her hands under Tina’s shirt to her sides, where she felt her soft skin.

As their lips engaged one another, their desire to want more than just a kiss mounted. Without breaking the kiss, they slowly moved through the kitchen, the living room, up the stairs to Tina’s bedroom. The journey was a slow one, especially when they ascended the stairs. Once in the bedroom, Tina slid on her bed with Bette joining her. Bette lay so her body was partially on top of Tina’s as they continued to make out.

Tina wrapped her legs around Bette and pulled her body into her more. She wouldn’t deny herself that need to feel as much of Bette as possible, clothes and all. They stayed on the bed for the longest time, kissing, allowing their mouths and tongues to merge as one as if it was essential for life. 

Neither one of them could get enough of the other, and it would be hard to determine which one was wanting more. Bette withdrew her tongue from Tina’s mouth and raised her body so she was supporting herself on her bent knees. She raised her top above her head. As she did, Tina raised her upper body and pulled at her own shirt, pulling it over her head and casting it to the floor where it joined Bette’s. They removed their bra’s in unison, allowing them to join their shirts on the floor.

Bette leaned back down, pressing her bare skin against Tina’s. She felt Tina’s taut nipples press into the soft skin of her breast, as she was sure Tina was feeling the same against her own body. 

******************  
SPORTS STORE

“Catherine, I’m going to look at their golf section.” Jerry left his wife and son in the shoe section where they would be choosing a pair of cleats to purchase.

As Jerry was taking a look at some of the golf balls, Dan Cahill was only a few feet away from him.

“Jerry?”

Jerry turned to see Dan standing there with his son Jarrod. 

“Cahill….I see you’re shopping for some discounts?” Jerry enjoyed any opportunity to mock his golf pal.

“Well….to be honest Jer, I haven’t seen where your Majesty Prestigio clubs have helped you any….and…what did they set you back…around 8 grand was it?”

“It’s all about style Dan…you should know that.”

“What about the fun?”

“No fun….it’s all serious….you gotta have your game on.” Jerry smirked as he looked over at Jarrod.

“Son…one day I will have to tell you about what happened to Mr. Kennard’s John Lobb golf shoes. They are only about $5,000 for a pair” Jerry had placed his hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Man…I could buy a decent used car for that price,” Jarrod remarked.

Jerry’s raised his brows. He wouldn’t think of spending anything less than $12,000 for a “decent” used car. Hell, just the rims he had purchased for his Jaguar had cost him $6,000. 

“Dad, I’m going to check out the baseball gloves.” Jarrod left his father and Jerry Kennard in the golf section.

“Cahill…..I meant to tell you, I spoke with my daughter.”

“Yes. I heard about it from Jarrod.”

Jerry was a little confused, for he was addressing the last comment that Cahill had shared with him on the green.

“Oh…so….he told you then why he had started that rumor?”

“Rumor?”

“Yes….apparently your son has quite the reputation around school for adding some numbers under his belt”

Cahill smiled. “Well…..can’t blame a kid for trying right?”

Jerry’s face turned more stern. “I can if he’s starting rumors about my daughter because she has rejected him. I would appreciate your handling that with him.”

Cahill tilted his head slightly as his brows arched. “I guess I’m lost…….are you implying that my son created rumors about your daughter’s sexuality?”

Jerry placed his hands on his hips. “I’m not implying, I’m telling you. Tina told me that Jarrod had been trying to get into her pants for some time. As a result of her rejecting him, he has decided to spread a horrible rumor about her.”

“Uh……Kennard, I think you may want to talk to your daughter again.”

“I believe my daughter,” Jerry said firmly.

The irritation between both men had begun to build as their discussion continued.

“From what I understand, your daughter went after a girl today at school.”

“What are you talking about?” Jerry was confused and now angry.

“Apparently your daughter was pretty jealous about a girl going after…..her ….girlfriend. There was some altercation over it I guess……ask her about it.”

Before Jerry could say anything, Dan had placed the box of golf balls that he had in his hand back on the shelf and started towards the baseball section.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy...

CHAPTER 5

TINA’S HOUSE

Bette and Tina’s skin was covered with perspiration as their naked bodies merged as one. Tina’s hands held Bette’s ass tight as her mouth sucked on Bette’s center. Bette’s head had descended between Tina’s legs, her tongue wildly moving around her clit as Tina’s hips involuntarily thrust up into her face from the level of sensitivity. The music which was coming from the CD player had become muffled at this time of heightened arousal…. the complaint of the music being too soft hadn’t come from either one of these two women, and it wasn’t about to anytime soon. 

Both women welcomed the inconceivable pleasure that their bodies were feeling, as well as the struggle to maintain that steady contact with the other. At different moment’s, they moaned into one another’s center as the temperature in the room seemed to burn at their skin. Breathing was becoming more and more impractical between their moans, and their faces deep between the other’s legs.

******************  
THE STORE

“Hun, I think we have everything we need” Catherine found Jerry at the front of the store waiting. “What’s wrong?”

“We need to get home.”

“I thought you were stopping to get cigars?”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

Catherine noticed how rigid Jerry’s face was. “Honey?”

“Not now Catherine!” Jerry was abrupt. He walked out of the store and to his car.

Catherine went to the express check out, occasionally glancing out the store window to the parking lot where Jerry was waiting in the car.

**********************  
TINA’S HOUSE

“I…I’m…gonna cum…hurry…” Tina pleaded, wanting Bette to cum with her at the same time. 

“Uhhh…Ohhhh god…TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,” Bette cried out between Tina’s legs as she came hard.

“Ohhhhhhh fuck…. Babbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” Tina came right behind Bette. It wasn’t in unison, but it was close enough.

Once the orgasm ended, the aftermath continued to ripple their centers as the throbs prolonged. Bette slid off of Tina’s body onto the bed where she turned on her back breathing heavy.

“It’s so fucking hot in here Tee.” Bette wiped the sweat from her forehead, her hair was sticking to her body.

“Baby open the window,” Tina said through deep breaths.

Bette took a moment to gather herself before going to the window and opening it up. She returned to the bed, laying her body beside Tina’s. Tina turned on her side to face Bette.

“I love you.” 

Bette looked into Tina’s blue eyes. They revealed so much about her. Her trust, her loyalty, her passion. She stared into them as she not only heard those words, but felt them too.

“I love you too Tee.” Bette replied as “Pink’s” latest CD played in the background.

Tina’s eyes had started to fill with tears. She looked away from Bette up to the ceiling, trying hard to avoid having them fall down her face.

Bette looked at Tina affectionately. “Tee…why are you crying?” She reached over and gently touched Tina’s cheek, caressing it lightly. 

Tina’s brows twisted as she couldn’t resist letting her emotions flow freely any longer. Her tears streamed down her face as she turned onto her back, still keeping those crystal blue eyes locked on a particular spot on her bedroom ceiling. 

“I have something to tell you.”

*************  
JERRY’S CAR

Jerry drove towards home with a hard and extremely stern expression on his face. Catherine knew her husband well enough to know that there was something seriously wrong. She also knew that if it was something that Jerry wished to talk about, he would have shared it before now. She remained quiet.

“Mark, when we get home I want you to go to your room,” Jerry said firmly.

“What? Why?” Mark inquired, completely lost at why he would be sent to his room.

“I need to discuss something very important with your sister”

“Dad…can’t I hang out in the garage? I wanted to grease my bike chain.” 

Jerry glanced in his rearview mirror. “Fine…the garage,” Jerry agreed as his wife looked on.

**************  
TINA’S HOUSE

“Just tell me Tee.”

“I wasn’t completely honest with you,” Tina admitted through her tears.

Bette became a little more serious. “What do you mean?”

“My father…” Tina started. “He made me apply to …schools outside of California.”

Tina’s behavior was enough for Bette to realize that Tina’s tears weren’t as a result of the fact she had applied, for that would have been done some time ago. Being aware that this week was the start of acceptance letters being received, she was sure Tina had been accepted to one of those schools out of state.

“You got in to one didn’t you?” 

Tina looked from the ceiling to Bette. It didn’t surprise her that Bette had nailed it immediately. She was a very intuitive and sharp young woman. All Tina could do was nod in affirmation. Bette didn’t say a word. She wasn’t sure what to say. It was the first time she had to face the possibility that she and Tina were headed in different directions. As she was forced to realize that a future together was now in danger of being threatened by this sudden revelation, she felt sickened.

“Bette…I don’t want this,” Tina cried out as Bette sat up in the bed.

“Then tell him. Tell him you don’t want it. Tell him you want to go to one of the schools in California.” Bette was blunt, and she spoke in a manner which made it sound so easy to do.

“Do you honestly think he will let me do that? Bette he wants nothing more but for me to go to a good school which HE chooses”

“I thought you were going to try for Berkley and Stanford?”

“I did…I applied there. It was like I was pulling teeth to even have him agree to that.”

Tina sat up and rubbed Bette’s arm. “I want to go to the same school as you. I want us to stay together.” Tina stared at Bette’s mocha skin, the skin that touched her body only moments ago. “He told me this tonight…I’ve tried to convince myself this is just a bad dream and I’ll wake up from it.”

Bette turned her head to look at Tina. She could see the devastation in her expression. Tina’s pain was at the surface now. She wasn’t even sure how Tina could have hid it when she had first come into the house, or when they spoke on the cell phone earlier. She realized that Tina was in just as much pain as she was.

“It’s not your fault Tee…..I just wish I had known at the time you had applied.”

“Babe what would that have done?” Tina asked.

“I’m not sure what I would have done to be honest.” 

“We would have both been miserable the whole time worrying. I honestly didn’t think I would get accepted, so I didn’t see the need to tell you when there was still that chance that I wouldn’t be going.” Tina squeezed Bette’s arm. “I wanted us to enjoy our senior year and not have it be impacted by this dark cloud over our heads.” 

Tina slid her hands through Bette’s long brown hair and pulled her to her. Their skin still warm from the heat shared between them. Bette wrapped her arms around Tina as they fell back against the pillows. They held one another as they succumbed to the news of this potential separation. 

**************  
DRIVEWAY

As Jerry pulled into the driveway, he passed Bette’s car. When he did, his thoughts wandered to the frequency of Bette’s visits to his home and Tina to hers. It dawned on him that although there were many times that Tina hung out with a group of girls, most of her one on one time with a girl was with Bette Porter.

“Son…this might be a little while. I’ll come out and get you when we are through,” Jerry said as he put the Jag in park.

“Okay.” 

Once Mark was out of the car, Catherine asked her husband what was going on.

“What’s going on Catherine? Our daughter has been lying to us. Cahill was at the store. He said Tina was involved in a fight at school today with a girl. It was some jealous fight over another girl.”

“What?” Catherine wasn’t amused. “So just because he said this you believe him? I think Tina deserves a chance to at least tell us if there is any truth to this.”

“I told you the other night that it made no sense why our beautiful daughter has not been on dates with boys. Why hasn’t she attended the Proms? She has avoided boys, and I fell for the excuse over and over that it had to do with her wanting to get good grades and do well in school.” 

“Jerry, she has been a diligent student. Her grades obviously reflect that or she wouldn’t have been accepted to those schools. I believe that she is a young girl who has had more fun with her girlfriends and has had a larger interest in her studies than most students.”

Jerry wasn’t convinced.

“Didn’t you tell me that Cahill’s son was trying to pressure her to go out with him?”

“That’s what Tina said.” Jerry shifted a bit in the leather seat.

“So why would he not continue to make things up?” Catherine wanted to give Tina the benefit of the doubt.

“I didn’t feel he was…it was my instinct.” Jerry took the keys from the ignition and exited his vehicle. “I’m going to find out though.”

“Just go easy okay?” Catherine’s question was more of a demand than a request.

As Jerry entered the house, the kitchen was quiet. The lights were on, and it seemed just as they had left it. Usually when Tina had visitors, there were empty microwave popcorn bags left on the counter, a few used glasses in the sink. This time there was nothing. He proceeded through the living room where only the corner lamp was lit, just as Catherine had left it before they went out for the evening.

************  
UPSTAIRS

“We’ll figure it out…one way or another,” Bette said as her bare body lay against Tina’s. “We can do long distance for a few years and get together during school breaks.”

Tina smiled at the brave front that Bette was trying hard to put on. She knew her girlfriend too well, and knew that she feared the uncertainties that lay ahead of them. Pushing a stray hair from Bette’s face, she leaned in and brushed her soft lips against Bette’s, that contact so certain at this moment when everything else in their lives had become shadowed with doubt.

**************  
DOWNSTAIRS

As Jerry reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard the music coming from Tina’s room. Shaking his head, annoyed by the volume, he wasn’t about to make any futile attempts to call her, for he knew she wouldn’t hear him. He began to ascend the stairs, and as he reached the top, he seen Tina’s door was closed. He approached her bedroom, and placed one hand on the door knob.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

“Jerry…why don’t you let me? I will tell her to see you in the study.” Catherine suggested while Jerry kept his hand on the door knob.

“Fine…you can’t hear a damn thing with that radio going anyway,” Jerry said as he turned to make his way downstairs.

Catherine knocked on the door and didn’t hear anything but Tina’s loud music. She knocked louder.

***************

“Shit!!” Tina pulled away from Bette and stood up from the bed. She frantically grabbed at her clothes, putting them on as the knocks continued. “It’s my Mom…hurry up” 

Bette and Tina both dressed as fast as they could.

**************

“Tina…..open the door.” Catherine was firm in her request as she raised her hand to knock yet another time. This time however, Tina had opened the door.

“What’s up Mom?” 

Tina stood in the doorway with the door cracked slightly. She didn’t want her mother to see her disheveled bed.

Catherine looked at Tina and then at Bette who was standing behind her. She glanced at the stray bra that was on the floor behind Bette. Her eyes then found Tina’s shirt. Her expression appeared strained as the ability to speak seemed to fail her.

“Mom?” Tina followed her Mom’s eyes to her T-shirt, as did Bette. 

“Your father want’s to see you in his study. You may want to put your shirt on correctly before seeing him.” Catherine arched her brow as she forced herself to remain controlled and stoic despite her upset at what she had stumbled upon. “Bette, perhaps it would be best if you go.”

Tina looked back at Bette, their eyes trying hard not to reveal too much as if by instinct. However, at least one of them was sure that the revelation had already been made. Catherine turned and walked downstairs.

“Fuck,” Tina said as she stepped back into her room to change her shirt around. “What the hell am I going to do now?”

Bette was silent for a moment. “Um…just tell them.”

“I can’t do that,” Tina said as she pulled her hair from under the shirt and let it hang down her back. “They would freak, you know that.”

“Freak? Tee…your Mom knows. You could see it in her eyes. Between your shirt being inside out AND backwards, our hair being a little messed up, and god knows if she noticed the bed or your bra on the floor…she knows.”

Tina picked up the bra from the floor. “She knows I throw my shit around.”

Bette looked at Tina. She could see she was running to that safe place called “denial.” However, she also was aware, that Tina couldn’t stay in that place too long. Her father was expecting to see her in his study and who knew what he had on his mind to discuss, but her gut feeling was it couldn’t be that great if it included the study.

“I think it’s time you be honest with them. Things are getting so tense with everything Tee. Find out what your Dad wants, and then maybe you can talk to both of them this week or something.”

“I can’t…please just try to understand that.”

Bette grabbed her keys from the back pocket of her jeans. “I’ll talk to you later. I hope your talk goes well.”

Bette hugged Tina briefly. She would have preferred holding her for a long time, but also wasn’t sure where her mother was lurking. Tina watched Bette as she descended the stairs. She followed behind, and stopped to watch Bette leave before she made her way into the study. The door was open, so there was no need to knock. Her father was sitting back in his leather chair behind his desk.

“Dad…Mom said you wanted to see me?” 

Jerry’s fingertips were touching each other as he created a triangle with them in front of his face. He appeared stern and focused. This made Tina extremely uncomfortable. She was fully aware that this conversation couldn’t be headed down a good road at all. For a moment, she felt like it was him who had been standing outside her bedroom door only moments earlier. Tina sat in the chair in front of her father’s desk, amazed at how many times she had sat in that chair in recent days. 

“Tina…I’m going to try very hard to keep my cool…but I warn you, I don’t know how well I will do.”

Tina stared at her father. It was obvious he was angry about something, and she wondered if perhaps her mother had shared what she had just seen upstairs.

“I ran into Mr. Cahill tonight at the sports store. He tells me you had a fight with a girl at school today.” Jerry’s eyes seemed to pierce Tina’s as he waited for a response.

“There was a disagreement.” Tina forced herself to put on the most genuine expression she could muster.

Jerry wasn’t happy. He had hoped that his daughter would tell him that there was no truth to what Cahill had said. This made him jump to the conclusion about the rest of it.

“You bet there was. What’s going on between you and Bette Porter?” 

As much as Tina was trying to keep it together, the direct question shook her. “What…what do you mean?”

“Tina, I’m not stupid. The other day I tell you about Cahill and your sexuality coming up. You tell me that Jarrod had made it all up because you won’t sleep with him. I believed you. Today, Cahill tells me of an altercation at school…you fighting with another girl over your girlfriend”

“I have lots of friends Dad.” Tina hoped to throw her father off course a bit. “What’s the big deal?”

“You know I am not talking about you fighting over a friendship Tina. You know exactly the type of fighting I am talking about.” Jerry’s blackberry had vibrated indicating an incoming email message. He took a moment to look at it before bringing his eyes back to his daughter.

“What does any of this have to do with my friendship with Bette?”

Jerry squinted his eyes as he thought hard about all the little things that were making him wonder about Bette. “I think it has a lot to do with her. The time you spend with Bette seems to be…a bit…exclusive.”

Tina was alarmed by that word. It seemed so strong. It seemed to scream “truth” to what Jerry was saying. He was getting closer and closer to Tina’s closet, and she was not liking it. At the very same time, she was also feeling terrible at the different things that were going through her head as to what would be the most convincing way to deny her relationship with Bette.

“I think it’s time you see a therapist.”

“A what?!” 

The words ripped through Tina like a knife. She had heard some rather scary things about shrinks, and she wanted nothing to do with them. “No way…I’m not going.”

“You most certainly are. You have feelings for girl and that is not normal Tina. It is very likely just a phase…kids go through strange things when they hit puberty.”

Tina rolled her eyes. She was well past puberty having gotten her period at twelve. “I’m not a nut, and the kids at school will think I’m a freak!”

“No they will not, because they won’t know. I don’t think it would be appropriate to share the fact you are seeing a therapist.” 

“Dad, I don’t want to go. There is nothing wrong with me. I …I don’t know why you think I like women. I…I don’t…I’m just a little more comfortable with them, that’s all….but I’m not gay…I swear”

As soon as she said those last few words, Tina could feel the heat building in her face. This time, the heat wasn’t a result of intimacy with the love of her life. No…this time it was because she was in a sense, denying the love of her life.

Jerry stared at his daughter. He wanted to believe her, but at the same time her strong reaction seemed to solidify his suspicions rather than put them to rest.

“I will make an appointment for you. I’ll let your mother know when it is.”

“Haven’t you heard a word I said to you?!” Tina raised her voice in defiance.

“I most CERTAINLY have. However, you are STILL going to go to therapy young lady and that is that!” 

Jerry wasn’t budging, and it would be fruitless for Tina to keep pushing it.

Tina folded her arms. “Am I dismissed?” she asked derisively.

“Lose the sarcasm young lady and fast, or you won’t be allowed out of this house for a week. Furthermore, I don’t want you to be hanging around with Bette Porter anymore”

“You can’t do that!” Tina was exasperated. “She is my best friend.”

“I don’t like the rumors that have been started because of it. I don’t want you talking to her at school. I don’t want you hanging around after school with her. I also don’t want you at her home or she here.”

Tina had become so angry. The tears that started to stream down her face were evidence of both her anger and sorrow. “I can’t do that.”

“You CAN and you WILL.” Jerry corrected her.

Tina stood from the chair. “I won’t!” 

Jerry raised his brow as he too stood up. “You certainly will dammit!” He slammed his closed fist onto the top of his desk, emphasizing is confidence.

“I LOVE HER!” Tina shouted out before running from her father’s study, through the living room and up the stairs to her bedroom.

As Catherine walked from the kitchen into the living room, Jerry was just coming out of the study.

“That girl is going to start counseling. I’m calling Holly up tomorrow and I’m going to arrange it. I told her Bette is not to come into this house, and she is not to go there”

“What happened?” Catherine asked, worried about the answer.

“What happened? Your daughter just admitted she loves Bette Porter! I won’t have a gay daughter in my house, and I certainly won’t be sending her to any college. She needs to go there so they can correct her behavior”

Catherine didn’t need to hear a thing Jerry had said. She had seen just enough to confirm her own fears about the accuracy of what Cahill had been saying, when Tina had opened the door. However, the difference between Jerry and Catherine, was that homosexual behavior only caused a slight discomfort. It wasn’t something she would have wished to have in her family, but if it was, she was more open than Jerry was to at least discuss it in a reasonable manner.

“I’m not sure that banning her friends from the house will change anything Jerry.”

“I am not banning her friends Catherine. I am banning Bette Porter. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t know what was going on upstairs in her room tonight.”

Jerry turned back for his study, but before entering it, he looked over to Catherine. “I want an appointment with Holly as soon as possible.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Peeps! Hope you enjoy...

CHAPTER 7

**************  
UPSTAIRS

Tina was incredibly upset as she lay on her bed. Her tears saturated the pillow that she had her face on. The idea of not speaking to Bette or having any type of relationship with her was too much to think about. It was hard enough that what she and Bette did share was already so closeted and hidden from the world around them, that to add this to the mix was overwhelming and considered to be impossible for her. As she lay there surrendering her mind to the mental images of she and Bette that had taken up residency, a sound from her laptop indicated an instant message had come in. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand as she raised her body from the bed and went to her desk. She brought the computer over to her bed and folded her legs as she lifted the top open a little further. The bright light seemed to be too strong for her eyes. 

~S~: Hey TK u there?

Tina placed her fingers on the keyboard and began typing a response.

TK: yes

~S~: Ah there u r. Just wanted 2 thank u 4 the bruise

TK: I told u I was sorry, and I am

~S~: I know u r. It’s all good. I am getting so much attention from Jill and a few of my other friends, that I’m thinking this was the best thing 2 happen 2 me ; - )

TK: LOL

~S~: Well I won’t keep u, I don’t want the Alpha one 2 get cranked up cause I’m taking you away from her

TK: she isn’t here

~S~: why not?

Tina was silent. She couldn’t seem to bring herself to type the words either.

~S~: u there?

TK: Sorry. My father found out about the fight today. He saw Mr. Cahill and my father knows about Bette and I

~S~: OH SHIT!!!! What did he do?

TK: He said I was not 2 see Bette anymore, not 2 talk 2 her, not 2 go over her hou…..

Tina started to cry before finishing

~S~: Wow what a jackass. What r u gonna do?

TK: I can’t not see her

~S~: What did Bette say?

TK: She doesn’t know

~S~ EEEK!

TK: I know

~S~: Al just got online, should I bring her in?

TK: I don’t feel much like talking Shane

~S~: Okay, that’s cool. Just call me or IM me if u need me K?

TK: k

Tina rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling as tears crept out the corners of her eyes, to her temples and ultimately into her hair.

****************  
BETTE’S PLACE

Bette had been outside in the driveway cleaning her car windows when her mother opened the side door.

“Bette, I meant to tell you that you have a letter here from Stanford.”

Bette dropped the glass cleaner and paper towel she was holding and ran up the steps to her mother.

“Really?” Bette took the envelope and held it close to her a moment with her eyes closed. “I hope-I hope-I hope,” she repeated over and over as she ripped the envelope open.

Bette’s eyes scanned the letter for any word of acceptance. When she found it, she raised her arms as she jumped in the air. “YES!!!!” she exclaimed.

“You got in?” Her mother realize how foolish that question was just as she asked it.

“I did…I got into Stanford Mom!”

“Your father is going to be very proud of you Bette.”

Bette stared at the letter, reading it over and over again while her mother went back into the house. She sat down on the step, and folded it back up. The first person she wanted to share this news with was Tina. Yet, at the same time, it all seemed bittersweet.

***********  
ALICE’S

AL: damn that sucks for B&T

~S~: I know

AL: so what is Tee gonna do?

~S~: * shrugs *

AL: we can’t just let this happen and do nothing

~S~: what is there 2 do? Her bigoted smart ass father spoke. She can try to hide it but for how long? He is a fucking jerk

AL: :I know Maybe I should call

~S~: I would wait 4 her to reach out right now. She was pretty messed up

AL: She needs 2 talk 2 Bette

~S~: I’m sure she will

***************  
BETTE’S

After having a brief conversation with her father, Bette went to her room and placed the acceptance letter on her dresser. She sat down at her desk where her computer was and opened an IM window.

BP: Tee u there

Tina had been resting, but not in such a deep sleep that the IM sound wouldn’t wake her. She looked over at the computer and seen the window with Bette’s name.

BP: r u okay? What did your Dad want?

BP: ~~NUDGE~~

TK: hey I’m here

BP: there u r . U ok?

TK: no

BP: ?

TK: my Dad is an ass

BP: what happened?

TK: he found out about the fight at school. He knows about us Bette

BP: how?

TK: he brought u up. He put 2 and 2 together

BP: oh...um…and?

Tina started to cry, and cry hard.

BP: Tee? U want me to call u?’

BP: Tee?’

Bette was feeling anxious. She was extremely upset that she wasn’t with Tina at this time. During the course of their relationship, the closet had been a very comfortable place for Tina when it came to her family especially. She was sure that this did not go over well at all.

BP: ~~NUDGE~~ TEE! IM CALLING U

Bette grabbed her cell phone and pressed the number one on her phone. She programmed Tina into the first slot for speed dialing purposes. As the phone rang, her throat felt dry. She worried about Tina’s emotional stability.

“Hello.” Tina answered, her voice cracking.

“Babe talk to me.”

Tina started to cry harder when she heard Bette’s voice.

“Tee please...what happened?”

Tina wiped her face with her free hand as the other clung to the phone. 

“I wish you were here,” Tina confessed.

“I know Tee, god I wish I was too. I can come back over if you want to meet me outside somewhere.”

Tina didn’t answer. This caused Bette to repeat herself. “Did you hear me? We can meet where we-”

Tina cut Bette off. “I can’t.”

“Why not? We always did that when your parents gave you shit. They never even noticed you snuck out.”

This time it was different and Tina knew it. Bette on the other hand wasn’t privy to any of the directions that Mr. Kennard had given to his daughter.

“Bette, we have to be really discrete from now on.”

“we are, aren’t we?”

“No…I mean…REALLY discrete.”

Bette actually didn’t think they could get any more discreet than they already were.

“oohhhkayyy…how much more can we be?”

Tina felt her face flush. It was so hard to share with Bette the cruel restrictions her father had put on her. She felt the palms of her hands begin to stick to the laptop as she tried to type.

“He…he doesn’t want me to see you anymore. He said you can’t come here and I can’t go to your place. He said that I wasn’t to speak to you at all at school or…anywhere for that matter.”

Bette was pissed. She felt her temper rise immediately.

“Well fuck him. I hope you told him to go fuck himself.” Bette was so cranked up, she could only hear the words she was throwing out there, and didn’t hear a thing Tina was trying to say.

“Bette…”

“That fucking jackass!”

“Bette…”

“No! No Bette, Tina you’re just going to listen to that bigoted fucked up egotistical homophobic coward?”

“Bette please…let me explain.”

“Explain? What does that mean Tina? Does it mean you are just going to do what he tells you to do?”

“No…it does not. I love you…I want to be with you. It’s hard because I have to balance things here. I depend on him financially Bette. How am I suppose to go to school and end up with an education that can offer me opportunities if I don’t keep some type of relationship with him?”

Bette knew that Tina was between a rock and a hard place. It wasn’t that they were both going to go into the employment arena where they could get a place together. Each one had dreams and goals of en education that would then provide them with the more exclusive opportunities that a college degree could offer.

“Do you understand?” Tina asked with her voice offering that occasional crackle.

“I’m trying. He just pisses me off Tina A LOT!” 

“I know he does, and I feel the same Bette. Plus, he said I have to go to therapy.”

“Therapy!? He’s the asshole that needs therapy Tina, not you.”

“I have to do what he wants,” Tina said remorsefully.

Bette could feel a pressure build like nothing she felt before. Things were so strained going into the closet with Tina. She had to face her own struggles with girls coming onto her in and out of school. In their eyes, that single stallion needed some company and they were always all too willing to offer it. That was only one of the many things that made this relationship particularly difficult. 

She also had justified resentment, not so much with Tina, but with society, the very society that her parents were the poster child for. To even try to consider the additional pressure and struggle of hiding themselves further, to stop going over one another’s house after school, and to be extremely careful that her father’s spies at the school couldn’t go back and report anything started to weigh heavy on Bette.

“Are you there?” Tina asked.

“Yeah…Tina, this…I just can’t imagine how hard this is going to be.”

Tina remained silent. She felt the discussion heading down a road she was trying hard to avoid.

“What are you saying?” Tina was afraid to ask the question, but she felt something in Bette’s voice. She wasn’t sure if it was just frustration or more.

“I’m just saying this fucking sucks.”

Tina couldn’t put her emotions into words any longer. The attempts to try to form a sentence in her head failed her. She loved Bette so very much, and it didn’t make her feel good that her families restrictions and bigoted attitude was affecting her. It brought her back to those moments she felt guilty for Bette having to put herself in the closet with her. It brought back those thoughts of how much Bette was changing as a person so that they could be together. Bette was right, this all did fucking suck, and Tina was preparing to make a decision that would free Bette of this conflict.

“I need to go,” Tina said abruptly.

Bette didn’t expect the conversation to be cut short, but it all seemed so awkward. She wanted to share her good news about Stanford with Tina, but it didn’t seem like it was a conversation that was meant to fit into “their” life at this moment. Things felt strange for Bette, and Tina was certainly feeling them too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy the journey...   
> Stay safe, practice social distancing, prayers to all.

CHAPTER 8

************  
BETTE’S

Bette flipped the phone shut and threw it on her bed. She was angry, frustrated, and beginning to feel hopeless that Tina would ever truly come out of the closet. She had made so many adjustments to her life the previous year, and although worth it, it was at times like this, when Tina’s resolve was tested, that she looked more at their future with a bit of tentativeness. She lay back on the bed and folded her hands behind her head as she stared at the ceiling. 

************  
TINA’S

Tina had logged off the messenger and placed her laptop on the nightstand before laying down on her side. The tears came hard, for she felt herself beginning to memorize in her head how she would tell Bette that...that it would be best if they parted now before things began to get too complicated for them both.

*******************  
SCHOOL NEXT DAY

Bette had arrived late for school. Sleep did not come easy the night before, and when she finally did get to sleep, she slept so sound that she failed to hear the alarm. 

As Bette approached her locker, the second period bell had just rung, and the students were now beginning to fill the halls. Tina’s locker was on the same side as hers, about 12 feet away. She opened her locker and retrieved her notebook and two books she would need for the next two classes. When she closed her locker, and looked over to Tina’s locker, she saw her standing there. The hallway was filled with students chatting, laughing, and locker doors opening and closing. Bette and Tina couldn’t seem to take their eyes off one another, both struggling with the restriction that had been placed on their communication. Bette stood there hoping that Tina would approach her, for she didn’t feel that it would be right for her to make that move. Tina was the first to break contact with Bette’s eyes. She closed her locker door and walked away from Bette towards her class. Bette was devastated, realizing that Tina was going to abide by her father’s wishes after all. She turned and walked towards her class.

In class, Bette had a difficult time concentrating. She opened her cell phone and started typing Tina a text message:

‘so u r going 2 listen 2 him?’

Bette sent the message to Tina and waited for a reply. Her focus couldn’t be any further away from the Economics that was being discussed in class. Alice was a few rows over and slightly behind Bette. She had noticed her typing a text message. She hadn’t had a moment to talk with Bette yet, but knew from the discussion she had last night with Shane, that things were probably pretty heavy right now. Within a few seconds, Bette’s phone vibrated indicating Tina had likely replied.

‘ can’t talk right now. He sees the cell phone bill’

Bette was pissed at the idea that they couldn’t even text message. She flipped the phone shut, took hold of the two books she had brought to class, and walked out of the classroom. Alice watched her leave, and wondered if it was for a good reason, that perhaps Tina wanted her to meet her somewhere so they could talk, or if Bette was upset. The lack of knowing which it was, prompted her to text message Bette.

‘u ok?’

Bette had thrown her books in her locker and slammed the door when she felt her phone vibrate in her the pocket of her jeans. She took it out, hoping it might have been Tina. Disappointed that it wasn’t, she put the phone back in her pocket without replying back to Alice’s text.

**********************************  
LATER IN THE CAFETERIA

Shane and Dana were sitting at the table in the back sharing their dislike for the substitute teacher that had been filling in for Mr. Ferucci, their International Studies teacher.

“I thought Ferrucci was bad,” Shane said before taking a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Not nearly as bad as Mrs. Cochran. She is so weird…did you see that skirt she was wearing?”

Shane nearly choked on her sandwich. “No kidding. It matches her purple hair nicely. I could do so much with that head of hair…you think she would let me?” Shane snickered.

Tina was in the lunch line waiting, when Alice had spotted her. 

“Hey Tee...can I cut?”

“Sure.” Tina took a step back allowing Alice in front of her in the line.

“Where did Bette go?” Alice asked, assuming Tina might have the answer.

“What do you mean?” 

“She walked out of our Economics class.” Alice grabbed a tray and placed it on the counter as she scanned the lunch options available. “I sent her a text message, but she never replied back.” 

Tina was concerned. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to see if Bette had sent something to her, but she hadn’t. She felt a wave of guilt wash over, knowing that she had eliminated the possibility of Bette contacting her if something was going on. Tina felt extremely helpless.

“What time was this?” 

Alice handed the cashier some money and waited for her change. “Um…about 45 minutes ago.”

“Well, maybe she might be in the lunch room.”

“I hope so.” Alice placed her change in her pocket. “See you at our table.”

Alice spotted Dana and Shane in the corner, and joined them at the table they always tried to get, but were sometimes unsuccessful. 

“Cool, you guys got our table.” 

“Yuck! I hate when you get that.” Dana wrinkled her nose at the sight of Alice’s Sheppard’s pie.

“What? I love Sheppard’s pie,” Alice said as she took a seat next to Dana. “It will be a meal we have three times a week once we live together”

Shane started to chuckle, moving over to allow Tina a place to sit beside her.

“Thanks Shane.”

“You’re welcome. Is Bette coming?”

Tina felt awkward telling the girls she didn’t know, but she had to say something, for all eyes were on her. “I don’t know.”

“She usually always comes by, even if she doesn’t feel like eating.” Shane finished her milk and placed the carton on the tray. 

“I saw her leave about a half hour ago.” 

Dana’s admission caused Tina to look up from the bowl of soup she had been stirring her spoon in. “What do you mean leave?”

“I was in my Physics class, which overlooks the lot. She was getting in her car.” 

“Okay, now I’m not liking this.” Alice pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent Bette another text message.

‘ Bette, call me. I’m at lunch’

“Maybe she wasn’t feeling well.” Shane offered, reaching over and stealing a fry from Dana.

“She still would have replied to the text message I sent her. I sent it right after she walked out of class.”

“She is probably home sleeping.” Dana tried to reassure Alice.

“I don’t think so.” Tina added sheepishly. “I’m sure it has to do with my father not wanting us to talk to one another.”

“Yeah…well…you’re not really going to listen to that jackass are you?” Alice asked nonchalantly. “I mean, you love Bette and Bette loves you. What the fuck right does he have to come between the both of you?”

“Easy Al.” Shane warned. She could see that Alice was getting a little too abrasive with her opinion.

“It’s not that easy Alice. It’s not easy at all. She sent me a text while she was in the Economics class. I couldn’t talk because he sees my cell phone bill and I replied back telling her so. He will know that we are texting or talking by phone.”

“That can be hard if he is getting the bill.” Dana wiped a bit of ketchup from the corner of her mouth. “But at the same time, nothing can stop you from meeting up with her at one of our houses after school.”

Tina had only taken a few sips of her soup before pushing the tray aside. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. You girls know how hard this has been on us, particularly Bette because she was never in the closet like this. This is our Senior year when most students are just fucking around and having as much fun as possible. I feel like us being in the closet has denied her so much of some of that outward enjoyment. It has weighed so heavily on my mind that I am not comfortable being out. My parents put such a horrible label on homosexuality, and even though I don’t agree with them and their position, I find myself wanting to stay in the closet so I don’t have to face those people who are just like my parents, you know what I mean?”

“Tina, you have to be true to yourself. You are a lesbian, and no matter what they say or do, you will still be one. You are going to let them push you around and lose the love of your life because they don’t agree with your lifestyle?” Dana offered a bit of insight.

“I remember I was with a girl who was in the closet. It was hard.” Shane admitted. “There were a lot of things I wanted to do that I just couldn’t, because she didn’t want me to touch her in public. God I remember calling her babe when we were at the video arcade and she flipped out on me. It sucked.”

Shane’s honesty didn’t make Tina feel any better. As a matter of fact, it only solidified things more as far as feeling that she was in fact holding Bette back from experiencing things that she had a right to experience as a woman that was living outwardly.

“So you think Bette left because she was upset after getting your text message that you couldn’t talk?” Dana inquired.

“I’m sure it didn’t sit very well with her. Things were tense last night when we spoke.” Tina’s heart was aching. She wanted nothing more but to run to Bette and hold her, knowing she was hurting. She too was hurting, and was missing those arms and reassuring eyes that would always make her feel everything was okay. “I’m not sure what to do anymore. Last night I just was……”

Tina paused for a long time as she tried to bring the words that were playing in her mind, to her lips.

“You were what?” Alice asked softly, seeing that Tina’s eyes were beginning to fill up.

“Preparing myself to walk away from her. Things are just so fucked up. I’m stuck between my love for her, and my parents acceptance of me.”

As Shane could see Tina’s struggle, it was so evident in her voice as well as her body language. “I found that you can never please your parents. For me, it was better for me to just accept myself for who I am, and know that I deserved to be happy with myself, regardless of anyone else’s opinion of my lifestyle.” 

“I just wish I could find that courage Shane. I have studied so hard in school so that I could get into a good school and get that degree in Communications so that I could one day have the job of my dreams.” 

Before Tina could continue, Shane spoke bluntly. “At the cost of losing the woman of your dreams?”

Tina’s eyes were glossed over with the tears that had formed. 

“I’m sorry Tina, but I’m not sure you will find the happiness you need just from having a wonderful job and a financially secure future.”

“I agree.” Alice piped in. “I mean, you could always get your education in the evening if you had a full time job. You could do it Tee…you could get out of your house, get a job and go to school at night. It would take longer, but you could do it all yourself. Fuck them. Don’t let them control you by using money as that comfort that they have had you grow up around.”

Tina wiped a tear that had run down her cheek. “I know that money isn’t everything Alice. I also know that women today still struggle for good jobs, because it still is a man’s world. I need to know that I have a good job that I can provide for myself without having their support if they cut me off on every level.”

“It just smells so superficial Tee. I’m sorry…it just does,” Alice quipped.

“Al…” Dana shot a look to Alice that that was not necessary. “Tina, only you know what you need. Only you know if it is best to come out and live your life as you want to now, or later, or never. It isn’t up to us to judge.” Dana glanced back at Alice, offering another admonishing look.

“So, you really are thinking of breaking up with Bette?” Shane revisited part of what Tina had shared earlier.

“I just feel like I’m holding her back. I feel like, as you had said Shane…that it ‘sucks’ being forced back into the closet, a place that you had decided not to be. Why should Bette be in the closet with me when she didn’t make that choice to be in the closet herself? If she wanted to remain so private, she would have stayed there herself. I am forcing her into a place where she had come from. Now…with this additional pressure and a list of restrictions from my father, how the hell am I suppose to keep a relationship going?”

The tears started to stream down her face, prompting Shane to place her hand on Tina’s back and pull her into a hug. “Shhh…if it’s meant to be, it will be.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and please be safe...life is unsettling right now.

CHAPTER 9

***********

Tina and Shane released their hug as Dana offered Tina a napkin from her tray.

“Tee, you just need to talk to Bette. Find out what it is that she is feeling too. This is a hard thing for you both.” Dana was gentle in her words.

“I see no other way...except to just free her from all this anguish, this having to make a choice, and yet in some ways being forced in a certain direction. I don’t want that for Bette. I love her enough to let her go.”

Tina started to cry into her napkin as the words left her mouth. The girls were taken back by Tina saying she could let Bette go. There was such an intensity that existed between the two, and if there was ever a young love that was going to make it through those college years into adult life, they always felt it would be Bette and Tina.

“Tee...let’s just say that you and Bette did what you could over the summer to keep things going, in secret. You could definitely hang out with Bette at one of our places. Once you both got into College, there is no way that your Dad is going to be able to monitor you so closely.” Alice suggested.

Alice had been under the assumption, that Tina had applied to the same schools as Bette. She and the others would be very surprised when she heard what Tina had to say about that.

“We are not going to the same school Al. My father made me apply to other schools outside of California. I was accepted to two of them, ones that he expects me to go to. I won’t be in the state”

The girls were stunned. They had spoken on many occasions of how wonderful it was going to be that they were all applying to the same schools, and hopeful to get into some of them together. At the same time, they also knew that should they not be in the very same school, the schools that were discussed were still close enough to get together on weekends and breaks. They looked at one another, stunned by the revelation that Tina wouldn’t be in close proximity.

“Wow...Bette knows about this?” Shane asked as she chewed on the ice that was left in her cup.

“Yes. I told her last night when she was at my house.”

Dana raised a brow. “Damn, this really does suck.”

“Can’t you see, because of all these obstacles I just see no way that Bette and I could really move forward, at least not in a way that wouldn’t be filled with a shit load of challenges?”

“Sometimes the easiest road isn’t always the most fulfilling in the long run Tee. If you and Bette tried to get through this, and did all you could to be together, then the moment you were finally done with school and could get a place together, you would probably feel your love and relationship grow so strong and deeper than it ever would have without those challenges.” Shane was always considered the ‘wise’ one in the group. Most times it was as a ‘wise ass’ but there were those moments it was just the wisdom she offered.

“I agree with Yoda.” Alice smirked. “it makes total sense that if you both are willing to invest what you need to over the next four years, that you could end up being the happiest couple in the world.”

Tina wasn’t easily convinced. “This is real life Alice. Bette will be in college with lots of beautiful women around her. There will be LGBTQ groups on campus, and no doubt she will be a part of them, as she should be. I cannot expect Bette to remain committed to me for four years during college…..a time when you’re meant to study hard and play even harder. It would be selfish of me. 

“Well...what about just breaking free from those assholes? I mean come on Tee, can’t you try to get some student loans? There has to be other options available. Don’t give up so easily.” Alice continued to show strong emotion, hoping to give Tina some of her own spunky attitude.

“It isn’t that easy Alice. I don’t have the time to apply and get approval for the loans I will need, and certainly with my family’s assets, I wouldn’t even qualify. It is all about time constraints now, and I’m on the losing end. Could I take a year off and work first then apply for everything to buy me some time? Sure…sure I could. However, what is going to stop Bette from getting involved with someone else while she is in College?”

“She loves you Tina.” Shane reminded Tina as she crunched on another cube.

“I know she does...but in the company of many other hot looking babes in college who are coming on to her, who she can be totally out of the closet with...I mean honestly, do you think she would remain that committed? Would any of you?”

Shane looked down at her cup, she sure knew she couldn’t stay committed and that is why she always chose sex free of relationships. Her fun and freedom meant more to her than anything else.

Dana and Alice looked at one another. They both believed in their hearts that there was a strong love present, yet the way Tina had just delivered that scenario, it rocked them a little and it was showing. 

Tina waited for an answer from one of them, but none came.

“Yeah…see…it’s so much easier when you think in terms of someone else, but when it comes to really looking close at your own self, you can see how unfamiliar and challenging some things can be…I can’t do this to Bette. I can’t put her in a place where she could ultimately resent our relationship.” Tina’s emotions started to build up as she continued to speak. “I love her, and I know I love her enough that I could make some changes to my life, big ones, in order to make things work. But we are 18 years old and we are young. How many relationships last beyond High School? How many of them last beyond College? I’m being realistic….and…I just…” Tina struggled for control.. “I just need...I….”

The girls waited, one with a held breath, the others with eyes locked on Tina as they awaited what she had to say. They knew it wasn’t a good sign when Tina’s flushed and she started crying as she spoke. “I have to…just… let her go…” Tina ran from the lunch room leaving her tray of uneaten food.

“Tina!” Shane called after her as she stood up, prepared to follow.

“Shaney, don’t. I don’t think there is a thing we can say to her to make her feel better. She has to do what she feels she must. It isn’t up to any of us to tell her that staying with Bette long distance and trying to make things work is what’s right.” Dana looked towards the doorway that Tina had run out.

Alice looked over at Dana as she spoke those words. She knew that her girlfriend was right. “This just all sucks…a lot.” Alice threw her napkin down on the table.

“Did Bette send a text back yet?” Shane asked as she sat back down.

Alice nodded ‘no’ after checking her phone again.

*************  
Bette had closed the door to the liquor cabinet and turned the antique skeleton key, which was there more for show than anything else. She took the bottle of tequila she had place on top of it, and walked out of the house to her car. Both her parents were at work which enabled her a little privacy in retrieving the booze. She drove to the place where she and Tina had sex, Point Rock. It was the middle of the day, and naturally no one was there making out. It was only her alone with the bottle and the tunes she had blaring from her car speakers. She opened the bottle and took a long swig. The liquor burned her throat as it made its way down her esophagus. The burn felt like the pain she was feeling inside of herself since she realized Tina would be surrendering to her father’s wishes. 

Following each swallow, the tequila saturated the air inside her car with each exhale and occasional cough. Her mind became more and more nebulous as the affects of the liquor became more absorbed in her body. 

********************  
SCHOOL

The closing bell had rang, and the hall shad started to fill once again with students. Tina had thrown her books in her locker and looked over to find Shane coming towards her. She closed her locker and went over to her. They both stood in the middle of the hall.

“Did you hear anything yet?” Tina asked in a hopeful voice.

“No, you?”

“Nothing.”

Shane opened her locker and put her books on the top shelf.

“She maybe just needs some time Tina. She’ll call you when she is ready.” Shane said as she pushed the lock together that secured her locker.

Jenny had stopped in front of Shane and Tina and stood there, trying to overhear their conversation.

“Can I help you?” Tina asked sarcastically. 

Jenny smirked at her. “It isn’t always about you Tina. I was actually wanting to talk to Shane.” Jenny looked at Shane. “I was wondering if you would like to take a ride with me in my new convertible” 

Shane instantly formed an evil grin which Tina took notice of. “Sure…where do you want to go?”

Jenny leaned in closer to Shane. “I guess it depends just how far you want me to take you.” Jenny made off she was fixing Shane’s collar.

Shane put one of her hands through her hair, allowing it to fall back freely on her face. “Ha…uh...I imagine it would depend on how long we have.”

Jenny brought her face to Shane’s ear. “All night.”

Shane looked over at Tina who had just rolled her eyes. She reached in her pocket and took her car keys out. “Here…you can drive my car tonight. Maybe you can find what you were looking for earlier.” Shane handed Tina the keys.

Tina knew that Shane was talking about Bette. “Really? You don’t mind?” 

“Nope. We’ll figure out a way to get the car back tomorrow.”

Tina took the keys from Shane, thanked her for letting her use her car and ran down the hall and out the front doors. She was going to do her best to try to track Bette down.

**************  
POINT ROCK

Bette had finished half a liter of tequila. She was feeling every bit of that half a bottle. The thoughts in her mind seemed to be in slow motion, as did a few words she mumbled to herself about Tina’s father and Tina herself. 

“Daddy’s girl…” Bette muttered before taking another swig. “Fucking closet...I hate that place.”

Now that school was out, some kids were starting to arrive in their cars at this popular place to park. Bette looked over and noticed John and Cheryl, the Senior Prom King and Queen, pull into the lot and climb into the back seat of his car. 

“Fucking hetero’s.”

The car radio was cranked up so loud, that it had drawn attention from the car of girls that had just pulled up aside of Bette. Bette looked over and noticed it was three girls from school, all cheerleaders. Carla was a stunning girl with long brown hair and brown eyes that were framed beautifully by her high cheek bones and immaculately trimmed brows. She was known to be one of the many bisexual girls in the school. Erin was a fine looking blonde who wore blue tinted contact lens to enhance her eyes. She was a little too stuffy and stuck up which was a turn off for Bette. Nadine was an international student from Russia. She was a fair skinned girl whose natural beauty captured your attention immediately. Carla looked over at Bette and winked at her. Bette laughed as she took yet another swig from her bottle.

“That’s Bette Porter,” Carla said to Erin who was sitting in the driver’s seat. “She is one hot piece of ass. You ever wonder what the hell is up with her?”

“Not really,” Erin replied bluntly.

“What do you mean?” Nadine asked.

“Well, she is the hottest chick in the school, and a known lesbian, yet none of the lesbians or bi’s are dating her. Hell they aren’t even just fucking around with her. When she was a freshman she was all over the women, don’t you remember?”

“I don’t, I just started here a year ago remember?” Nadine reminded Carla.

“Don’t you remember?” Carla looked over at Erin who was filing one of her nails.

“I never gave it much thought. I think she is a little full of herself to be honest.”

“Oh come on, I think you’re just jealous of her. She is one fine woman.” Carla looked back over at Bette. “She also looks like she is alone here.”

**************  
Tina had driven by Bette’s house and noticed her car wasn’t there. She took a ride by The Planet, the gym, and a few other places that she knew Bette sometimes hung out with or without her. She kept driving around town, hoping that something might pop in her head as to where Bette might have gone to.

***************  
POINT ROCK

Jenny had pulled in on the far end of the lot and parked the car. She didn’t want to put the roof up to the convertible, so the far end of the property had allowed them a slight bit of privacy where things had begun to get a little crowded on the other side. Neither she nor Shane had noticed Bette’s car parked at the opposite corner. Jenny climbed in the back seat of the car.

“Come on tiger, make me purr baby,” She said as she slipped her top off.

Shane took her top off as well, revealing two breasts whose nipples were erect and firm already. She unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped her fly, lowering her jeans and discarding them to the floor of the car at the same time Jenny had discarded her bra. Shane’s boy cut undies was the only thing she was wearing, and Jenny found those to be kind of cute and rather appropriate for Shane. Jenny didn’t bother to remove the short skirt that she was wearing, there wasn’t a need to do so and she knew quite well why.

Jenny leaned back against the seat with one leg dropped off to the side, the other over the headrest, she was spread eagle waiting for Shane to dive right in. Shane was in an awkward position, but that never stopped her from successfully having sex in cars that were much more challenging than Jenny’s Sebring. She brought her lips to Jenny’s, and with a fire that was raging, she pressed them hard, merging them with hers. Jenny opened her mouth, showing Shane just what she was craving, a craving that was complied with immediately. She pushed her tongue inside Jenny’s mouth and rolled it around inside. Both women challenged the other as to who would break the deepened kiss for air. It was a challenge they both failed at different moments. The ache between their legs intensified as their mouths re-engaged over and over, their hardened nipples tantalizing the others skin as their breasts intermittently touched one another between their bodies. 

Jenny arched her neck to the side as Shane started to lick her neck. “Shit...Shane…more…I need more from you.”

Shane started to gently bite Jenny’s neck as her hand ascended between them, under her skirt and ultimately to Jenny’s hot and juiced up center. She was completely lubricated from how aroused Shane had gotten her. 

“Now that’s what I like to find,” Shane said into Jenny’s neck before sucking on her skin hard.

As hard as Shane sucked on Jenny’s neck, her fingers matched that force as she pumped them in and out of Jenny. 

“Jesus!!! OH…harder…fuck me harder.” Jenny pleaded as Shane added a third finger inside of her. 

Jenny moaned from the slight ache that was forming on her neck from Shane sucking hard on the same spot. She grabbed Shane’s head just as she was going to release her mouth from her and pulled it back towards her neck. She demanded more. 

“Yes ….right there….just….just like....ohhhh god, like that.” Jenny had just about gotten the words out, for the force between her legs was borderline uncomfortable. However, that was Jenny Specter and that was how she liked it. There was a dark side of her that enjoyed that fine line between pleasure and pain. 

Shane pulled her face from Jenny’s neck and used her body against her hand to push herself deeper into Jenny. Jenny’s hips started to involuntarily thrust into Shane’s body from the internal pressure and satisfaction she was receiving in all the right places. Her secretion surrounded Shane’s finger as she had become ultimately aroused.

“FUCKK...SH…SHANE...I…NEED….IT….HARDER!!!” Jenny commanded.

“Jesus…..Jenny…uumph…....anymore harder…….umph……and…….mph……you’re gonna get…..uhh…. hurt” Shane said in between grunts as she continued the forceful thrusts, thrusts that even in her extensive sexual background, she hadn’t given to a woman to this extent.

“Ohh…god……sooo…close….al…lmost…”

Jenny gripped Shane’s back hard, her fingernails digging deep into Shane’s bare back as she felt herself climax. Shane could feel Jenny’s insides close around her fingers as she climaxed hard, while Jenny’s nails pierced places in her back.

“OHHHH SHIIITTTTTT” Jenny screamed out, loud enough that Shane was sure had gotten the attention of others in the distance, who were now likely looking over at her white boy cut briefs sticking up from the convertible. Shane collapsed onto Jenny, completely exhausted by the effort it had taken to get Jenny to climax. She knew Jenny had held onto that, and trained her body well to hold out as long as possible before letting herself go. There weren’t too many women who exhausted Shane, but Jenny…Jenny was one of those women.

********************

Tina drove by one of the Café’s that she and Bette had lunch at on the weekends a few times, hoping that maybe she went there for something to eat. She felt frustrated, worried, and slightly angered as well. She decided to take a drive by the movie theatre, perhaps Bette had taken in a movie to chill out. As she drove, her cell phone rang. She frantically grabbed it and flipped it open.

“Hello!” Tina said with a level of eagerness in her voice.

“Tina, where are you?” Tina’s mother had realized that Tina hadn’t come home from school yet.

“Mom….I…well I was just going over Alice’s to study.”

“Are you coming home for dinner?”

“No…I’ll grab something over at Al’s house.” Tina hoped that her Mom would buy her story. “We have a test on Monday, and she won’t be around over the weekend. I really need to cram with her so…I probably won’t be home until pretty late.”

“Okay. Um….I made an appointment for you with Dr. Brody. She would like to see you on Monday. I left a note on the kitchen table.”

Tina was silent. She was so angry with her father, and was beginning to feel equally bitter that her Mom wasn’t intervening in his unreasonable and incredibly reckless demands.

“Tina?”

“I don’t want to go Mom.”

“I think it will be helpful.” 

“Helpful? You think that going to therapy will somehow stop me from loving Bette? It won’t…okay? It isn’t going to make me stop loving her.”

“I think we should talk about this later Tina.” Catherine completely shut the discussion down, choosing to avoid facing the things that Tina was saying.

Tina flipped the phone shut before saying goodbye. She opened it up and called Bette again. This time, Bette answered.

“It’s your dime.” Bette was bombed, and her voice was the first to reveal just how messed up she was.

“Bette?” Tina couldn’t believe she had actually answered the phone.

“Yep…Bette…that’s who it is…..what do you want?” Bette was slurring her words, and even if she wanted to hide the fact she was drinking, it would be impossible for her to do so. She had an edge to her which was revealing itself in her tone.

Tina became anxious upon hearing the condition Bette appeared to be in. She knew that wherever she was, she had driven there. It was now even more urgent for Tina to determine Bette’s location.

“Are you driving right now?”

“Nope.” 

“Where are you?” 

“None of your damn business.” Bette shot back.

“Bette, I am worried about you.” Tina said gently.

“Well don’t!” Bette bit hard.

“I went by the Planet, and the Café, as well as your place but you weren’t there. Where are you hanging?” Tina was trying to be as delicate as possible, for she knew Bette was angry and pissed off.

“I’m not there.”

“Yes, I realize that baby.” Before Tina could continue talking, Bette bit harder.

“Don’t!....Don’t call me that. I’m not your baby unless I’m in that dark fucking place called your closet.” 

Tina was afraid Bette would hang up without finding out where she was. She knew for now, she had to just take the strikes as they came, and focus only on trying to soften the interaction as much as possible by selecting her words carefully and maintaining an even keel and monotone.

“Bette, I was thinking maybe we could meet up and talk. We have a lot to talk about.”

“I don’t feel like talking Tina. I feel like being alone.”

“If you don’t want to talk that’s okay. I would like to see you though…to hold you and be held by you…you don’t have to talk.”

Bette was so angry, but at the same time, Tina’s soft and tender approach had started to break through some of those defensive walls she had surrounded herself with. Tina continued to try to penetrate through Bette’s defenses. 

“Please Bette…let me just be with you….hold you. I need that right now, and I am really feeling that you might too…just to…to feel you…maybe even kiss you if you let me.”

Bette was listening intently to Tina. “Then what?”

“Um…..then….whatever you feel comfortable with. How about it?”

Bette didn’t answer. Her mind felt like it was cotton. It felt stuffed with an intensity of confusion and conflict like nothing she felt before. The alcohol deepened her inability to think clearly.

“But….I need to know where you are…can you tell me?”

“Nope.”

Tina lowered her voice to that place which was sultry and inviting. “Bette…do you want me?”

The way Tina had said those words, had sent a tingle up and down Bette’s spine. When she drank, she got horny as hell, and Tina knew this. She didn’t want to “play” Bette, but at this point, not knowing if she was driving or going to drive in the condition she was, she felt that a slight bit of deceit may be necessary in order to get Bette to offer up where she was. 

“Bette look, you want the truth? I’m horny as hell, and I really want to be with you. I want to feel your breaths on my neck, your mouth explore my body like only you know how…will you do that for me?”

Bette found herself loosening up and surrendering to Tina.

“I would love to make love to you.” Bette muttered.

“Good…because see I want that too baby…so much. But we won’t be able to do so unless I know where I can meet you.”

“What are you wearing?” Bette asked.

Tina was caught off guard. She didn’t know why it mattered, but figured in order to keep Bette engaged, and add a little more steam, she would provide some feedback.

“I have a pair of jeans on. The hip huggers you like that shows off my belly button ring, and I am wearing that really low cut top you got me for my birthday this year.”

Bette held the phone between her ear and shoulder as she unbuttoned her pants. She slowly brought the zipper of her jeans down. “The shirt that clings to you?” Bette asked as she slowly slid her hand between her thong and her pubic bone.

“Um…yeah…that one baby. I gotta tell you, right now, my nipples are sooooo hard and pressing against the fabric. I need you so bad Bette. Where are you baby?”

“What do you want to do to me?” Bette slid her fingers across her clit that had already become swollen and wet. “tell me… what…Mmmmmm…what you want to do to me.”

Tina realized that Bette’s playfulness was leading to her desire to do this over the phone, and that moan that she just expressed was evidence things were under way. “Baby…stop…no-no-no…..I want this WITH you, not over the phone…stop whatever it is you are doing.”

As soon as Tina’s voice changed to a more sharp and serious one, Bette stopped and slipped her hands from her pants. “Why? Don’t you want me?”

“Oh god baby you know I do. I just want us to be in person. We don’t need to do this over the phone”

“What about your father?”

“I don’t want to talk about him. I want to see you. So why don’t you tell me where you are sweetheart? Okay? Just tell me where you are….”


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

*************  
POINT ROCK

“God you were so fucking amazing,” Jenny said as she climbed back into the front seat, leaving an exhausted Shane laying on her back on the backseat.

Shane felt her head spinning. “What the fuck did you do to me?” She asked as she stared up at the clouds that were moving slowly in the sky above.

“Ha…I took you the way I like….my way,” Jenny said like she was just the cream of the crop.

Shane’s cell phone was going off in her jeans that were on the floor of the car. She reached down and flipped the phone open.

“Hello.”

“Shane, I found her,” Tina said. “She is at Point Rock. I will need you to meet me there. I can’t get a hold of Alice or Dana and she is drunk out of her mind. There is no way she can drive like that so I will need someone to drive her home and I can follow.”

“Point Rock? I’m at Point Rock now.” Shane said as she looked around for Bette’s car. “It’s kind of crowded here now.”

“You’re there?! Do you see her?”

“No. We are at the far end, not the usual place people park.”

“Oh…”

“It’s okay, we’ll go over to the other side and look. You’re on your way here right?”

“Yes. Whatever you do, do not piss her off. She is on the edge and I don’t want her to leave. If you can get a hold of her keys, that would be the best thing. Do NOT let that vampire you are with near her.”

“Oh...uh…why?”

“Why? Because first of all she might piss her off, and second of all, Bette is horny as hell right now.” Tina was firm and fast in her response. “You know how she gets when she drinks, and I don’t want that piece of work anywhere near her.”

“I understand. How far away are you?”

“Not far at all. I should be there in about five minutes or so.”

“Okay...let me go and I’ll find her.”

“Thanks.”

Shane flipped the phone shut and started to quickly put her clothes back on.

“What’s up?” Jenny asked.

“Drive by the other side there. I have to see if Bette is here.”

“Bette? Who is she here with?” 

“No one….at least I don’t think she is here with anyone…shit…I didn’t even give that a thought.” Shane climbed into the front seat. “She usually parks over in the corner. I can’t see from here with that damn truck in the way.”

Jenny started the car and drove to the far side where it was getting more and more crowded with cars. She flashed a few smiles at some of the guys and gals, proud of her new convertible and the attention it was getting as she proceeded towards the area where Shane felt Bette might be.

“Look, things are really dicked up right now. Don’t say a word to Bette. Just stay in the car, please.”

Jenny flashed a sarcastic look at Shane. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, she has been drinking…ALOT, and Tina’s worried she is going to get pissed off if the wrong thing is said and drive off.” Shane spotted the Corvette. “There she is. Over there. Park behind her.”

“What? Are you fucking crazy? If I do and she wants to leave she is going to back into my new car!”

“Jenny, look….she isn’t going to do that if she knows you are parked behind her. This is perfect. She has that barrier in front of her, with you in back there is no chance of her pissing off.” 

“I’m NOT putting my car in a position to get wrecked.”

As Jenny and Shane started to argue back and forth about it, Tina pulled in driving Shane’s car which Shane had noticed.

“Forget it, I’ll put my car there.”

“Uh…did you forget that your car isn’t here?” Jenny remarked in her typical snobby way.

“It is now jackass.” Shane quipped as she hopped out of Jenny’s car without opening the door. “Thanks for nothing.” 

“Nothing? You got a good fuck out of it,” Jenny said just before she drove off.

Shane motioned for Tina to park the car right behind Bette’s. Tina hadn’t thought about doing that, and was relieved to see that doing so would corner Bette’s car in it’s place. No matter what happened, Bette wasn’t going anywhere, unless she wanted to foot it.

“Did you talk to her?” Tina asked as she got out of the car.

“Not at all, I was busy trying to convince Jenny to park her car behind Bette’s.”

“Okay.” Tina said as she started towards Bette’s car.

“If you need me, I’ll be right here.” Shane reached in and grabbed her cigarettes off the dashboard then leaned against the door of her car.

“Thanks Shaney.” 

Tina went over to the passenger’s side of the car and opened the door. When she did, she found Bette leaning back against her car window, with Carla against her making out. Bette’s hands were up under Carla’s shirt, rubbing her back. Tina was enraged by the sight before her. “What the fuck are you doing!?” 

Carla turned around, surprised by the voice behind her. “What the fuck am I doing? It’s more like what the hell are you doing?”

Shane didn’t know what was being said, but heard some shouting between Tina and what she thought was Bette. As she got to the passengers side, Carla was just scooting out and pulling her shirt down. “What’s going on?” Shane asked.

“This blonde bimbo opened the door when Bette and I were making out.” Carla folded her arms and leaned against Bette’s car. 

“This blonde is going to kick your ass,” Tina said angrily. “Get out of here.”

Bette had opened her car door and upon standing up outside the car, her body drifted back against it as she tried to get her footing. 

“What’s it to you? Bette is single, she has the right to screw around if she wants.” Carla looked over at Bette who was just making it around to their side. “Isn’t that right Bette?”

“Fucking stop moving...everyone.” Bette looked at her friends, and each of them seemed to be swaying.

“Bette why don’t you sit back in the car?” Shane suggested.

“I’m fine.”

“Bette, we need to get you home. Carla, I think it would be best if you left.” Shane went over to Bette and put her arm around her to help keep her from stumbling.

“Yeah, I think you need to just go pound sand somewhere,” Tina said firmly. “or better yet, go find someone else to get your rocks off with.”

“Fuck you Tina, you’re the last virgin in the school. Everyone talks about you not being with men OR women. You’re a freak!” Carla said as she walked back to the car of girls she came with.

“Hey! That wasn’t so nice,” Bette shouted into the air. 

Carla hadn’t been close enough to hear her. Upon getting back into the car with the other girls, they all laughed as Erin drove away. Shane was still supporting Bette so she wouldn’t fall or lose her balance as Tina reached in and took the keys out of the ignition of Bette’s car.

“Hi,” Bette said looking at Shane as her arm draped around her. “Hi Shaney.” She said once more.

“Hi Bette.”

Bette was smiling at Shaney. “I didn’t know we were going to get so chummy.”

“We’re not.” Shane replied.

Tina stood up from the car. “I have her keys.”

“Hey…what are you doing with my keys?” Bette resisted the control that Tina was taking over the situation. “That’s my car.”

“I understand that, but you are in no condition to drive.”

“I drove here didn’t I?”

“Yes, and when did you start drinking Bette? Before you came here or after?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Bette shot back. “Tell her Shaney...tell her I can drive.”

“I can’t do that Bette. You’ve been drinking and a lot by the looks of that bottle in the car, there is no way you could drive from here to the entrance over there.”

“I can so, just give me my keys and I’ll prove it.”

Bette began to reach towards Tina’s hand, but was too slow to match Tina’s quick reaction.

“Give it up Bette, you’re not getting these. Shane, can you drive Bette in her car? Then I will just follow behind.” Tina asked.

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“I thought we were going to have sex?” Bette asked, looking at Tina with needy eyes.

Tina knew that she couldn’t get into it with Bette, for she was drunk and wouldn’t remember a thing they discussed anyway. Her primary concern at this time, was getting her safely home. She ignored what she said.

Bette repeated herself in a more loud tone. “Hey…didn’t you hear me?” 

Tina took a few steps towards Bette and placed her hand on the hips of her jeans.. “After I find you in the car with Carla, I really seemed to have lost the mood.”

Bette was persistent. “Come on…let’s fool around.” Bette slid her hands around Tina’s waist.

“I think you might be a little too drunk for that, and right now, we need to get you home.”

“Noooooo…we can go home later.” Bette smiled. She slid her hands in the back pockets of Tina’s jeans, then leaned in to kiss her. Tina moved her body slightly to avoid contact. The place was crowded, and she wasn’t sure whether Jarrod Cahill was around, or any other student that might see that she was “with” Bette, the school’s most sought after lesbian. “Why are you being so cold?” Bette asked with saddened eyes.

Before Tina answered, Bette’s cell phone had rung. Bette took one hand from the back of Tina’s pocket and reached into her own pocket to retrieve her phone. She looked at the display screen. “My Mom’s calling.”

Tina reached for the phone and took it from Bette’s hands. “Hey!!!” Bette shouted.

“Hello”

“Hi…is this Tina?”

“Yeah, Hi Mrs. Porter.”

“Is Bette there?”

“Um…she is in the store paying for fuel. Can I pass a message along?”

“Well, we are going away from the weekend. Bette knows about it. I just wanted to remind her not to touch the timer on the lights in the house. They will just go on and off themselves.”

“Okay, I’ll pass that along.”

“Thanks. If she needs anything, we have our cell phones with us, and Kit should be home from college sometime Saturday.”

“Okay. I’ll let her know.”

“Thanks”

“Bye.”

Tina flipped the phone shut and handed it back to Bette, who was rather annoyed that Tina had grabbed it from her. 

“That was rude!” Bette snapped.

“Get over it. Look…your parents are going away this weekend. We can get you there, and I can stay with you for awhile. I don’t think I can con my parents into thinking I’m sleeping over Alice’s, but I can try.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Bette volleyed back.

“It didn’t look like you needed a babysitter when you were in your car either. I’m going to just be with you tonight.”

“Oh…so you changed your mind…you now want to sleep with me?” Bette sure did get horny when she drank.

“Uh…sure...that’s what it’s all about right? Sex?” Tina remarked, the tension she was feeling was revealed in her voice as she helped Bette back into her car, this time in the passengers seat. She reached over her to clip the seatbelt in when Bette caught the familiar scent of Cashmere Mist, the perfume Tina wore every day. With Tina’s body draping over Bette as she tried to handle the seatbelt, and the scent that Tina was wearing, was adding to Bette’s interest even more.

“I can’t wait to take you to bed tonight.” Bette’s eyes found Tina’s cleavage, which was revealing enough of her breast to get Bette even more turned on. “Nice set of girls you have there Tina Kennard.”

Tina shot an admonishing eye towards Bette as she struggled with the seatbelt. “These girls aren’t coming out to play, so try to get your mind wrapped around that.”

Shane was now in the driver’s seat and was trying to assist Tina with the clip that seemed to be having some problems. “Here, let me see.”

“I really do have good taste.” Bette said while admiring Tina’s beauty. She continued to talk out loud, making some raunchy comments every now and then while Tina and Shane tried to figure out why the clip to the seatbelt wasn’t working.

“Is there usually problems with this?” Shane asked Tina.

“No. I used it the other night when I was in the car.”

“Oh and what a night that was!” Bette said with a wide grin. “Tee, you remember that little thing I did when I…”

Tina reached over and placed the palm of her hand over Bette’s mouth. “Don’t! Do not go there!”

Bette was still moving her lips in Tina’s hand, finishing the sentence that Tina was clearly telling her not to.

Shane chuckled. “Don’t be embarrassed Tina, it isn’t anything I haven’t done I’m sure.” One last attempt, and Shane was successful. “There…all secure.”

“Good. Bette, Shane is going to drive you home and I’ll be driving behind you.”

“You’re coming to my place huh?” Bette smirked.

Tina ignored Bette and looked over at Shane. “I’ll see you there. Meanwhile, on the way, I will come up with a plan and try to convince them of it so I can stay overnight”

“Okay, sounds good.” Shane started the ignition.

“Bye sweetheart.” Bette said looking over at Tina.

Tina couldn’t help but offer a small smile. “Bye Bette. I’ll see you at your place.”

Bette looked at Tina and winked at her before Tina closed the passenger door and returned to Shane’s car. She started the ignition, and put the car in reverse, allowing Shane the chance to back out. In a short time they were all on their way to Bette’s house.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

*******************  
LATER AT BETTE’S

“You’re sure you will be okay handling everything?” Shane asked as she placed the Tequila on the kitchen counter that she removed from Bette’s car.

“Yes, I can get her undressed and in bed.” Tina was holding Bette, steadying her.

Bette’s eyes lit up. “That is exactly what I’m hoping for.” She smiled as she swayed slightly, her hand dropping from around Tina’s waist to her ass where she started to cop a feel. Tina reached behind her and placed Bette’s hand back around her waist, flashing an admonishing look at her.

Shane smiled at how funny Bette was when she was drunk. “Okay, well if you need me give me a shout on my cell.”

“Thank you Shane.”

“Bette…treat her like a lady,” Shane said as she patted Bette on the shoulder.

Tina shook her head with a slight smile. “Oh…don’t forget, mum’s the word. Make sure Alice knows that I will call her tomorrow when I am home so she knows when she can stop “covering” for me, should my parents call there.”

“Will do Tee. Bette, I hope you feel better.” Shane embraced Bette who lost her footing a little when Shane let go. Tina grabbed her. “Good luck Tee.

“Thanks.”

Shane left Bette’s house, leaving Tina in the kitchen with her. It bothered Tina to see Bette in the state she was in. She wasn’t naïve, she knew that Bette wasn’t drinking alone because she just wanted to have some fun. The whole situation with their relationship was taking its toll on her girlfriend and it bothered her more than ever. 

“Come on, let’s get you in the shower,” Tina said, placing her hand on the small of Bette’s back to guide her. “It might help stimulate you a bit.”

Bette started to laugh at that last remark, not helping to move from her place at all.

“What?” Tina asked.

“I think there is a much nicer way to be stimulated.” Bette attempted to slide her hand under Tina’s shirt. 

A quick reaction from Tina resulted in pulling Bette’s hand away abruptly. “I’m not in the mood. You’re a mess and you need to get cleaned up and in bed to sleep this off. How much did you drink?”

Bette shrugged. Tina looked over at the bottle that Shane put on the counter. “Was that full when you started drinking it?”

“Maybe.” Bette chuckled.

Tina knew it was going to be a long night. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

Tina took hold of Bette and helped her towards the stairs. As they both started up them, Bette stumbled and fell onto the stairs, with Tina right behind her. At the moment of impact, they had both clung to each other. Bette and Tina’s eyes had instantly found the others as one lay half on top of the other on the stairway. 

“I love you Tina Kennard.” Bette said in one of the most clearest and more serious tones she had expressed all night.

Tina stared into Bette’s eyes. Although still rather intoxicated, there was a tenderness in her voice as she had spoken those strong words to her. Tina tried hard to hold her emotion back, for she knew that soon she would be parting ways with this amazing brunette, a move that was going to bring so much pain to both of them, but which still seemed the most logical thing to do. Bette’s bloodshot eyes searched for something reassuring in return from Tina.

“I…love you too Baby…so much you’ll just never know.”

Bette’s arms remained around Tina tight as Tina lay her head on Bette’s chest for a moment, the tears had come, and she refused to bring her head back up until she was able to shed the evidence. Bette’s shirt absorbed the water that had escaped her eyes.

“I have such a good idea,” Bette suggested as Tina’s head remained on her chest.

Tina continued to allow a few minutes to pass before showing Bette her face again. She wanted to be sure there was no evidence of her emotions. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” she spoke into Bette’s shirt.

“I think you should take a shower with me.”

Tina laughed. She was the most persistent horn-dog in the world when she was drinking. It was that playful side that was so endearing at times, and at other times like this, it could be a little challenging to do the right thing. Tina didn’t want to have sex with Bette while she was this drunk, and certainly not when she had already formed these thoughts about ending their relationship. It was her opinion that it would be sending the wrong message, not to mention that she would feel a bit uncomfortable allowing things to go down that road with Bette under the influence. Absent from the alcohol, she was also very aware that Bette was upset with her. Tina felt that Bette’s wanting sex was more about the alcohol than her true thoughts at this moment.

Tina looked up at Bette, her eyes now lacking the tears she had shed moments ago. “I think we both need to really sleep on it okay? I’ll be here in the morning, and we have a lot to talk about.”

Bette looked disappointed. “I’m so horny though.” She whined as her puppy eyes formed.

“Baby you are always horny, especially when you drink. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

Tina leaned in and kissed Bette gently on her lips, before standing up and assisting Bette to her feet and up the rest of the stairs. She helped Bette over to the edge of the bed, where she sat watching Tina as she sifted through her dresser, choosing some things she would wear to bed.

Bette fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I would rather you be in this bed with me.” Bette said as seductively as one could in her condition.

“Bette, really…I think it’s more important for you to just get some rest and sleep this off.”

“No….FUCK that. You told me you were going to meet me and we were going to have sex.” Bette was whining, and acting rather immature. If she realized it, she didn’t care in the least.

Tina’s patience was running thin. She was beginning to get rather annoyed at Bette’s persistence, not to mention the fact her choice of words now.

“Stop okay? Don’t swear at me.”

Tina placed the pile of clothes at the end of Bette’s bed and stood in front of her.

“I’ll start the shower, why don’t you take your clothes off.” 

Tina was trying to be as matter of fact as possible, so Bette realized that this evening was not about sex, but about her getting sober. At the same time, it continued to bother Tina very much, that she had caught Bette making out with Carla. It may have been done with a fuzzy and unclear mind, but it was still done. Although Tina had been preparing to break their relationship off, she hadn’t done so at that point, and therefore felt Bette’s indiscretion was a violation of their relationship.

“I think I would like you to take my clothes off.” Bette took hold of Tina’s wrist and pulled her gently. “Come on Tee…don’t you want me?”

Tina looked down at Bette’s brown eyes, eyes that were filled with need, desire, as well as bloodshot lines, a not so subtle reminder she had drank too much.

“Bette. For more reasons than one, we are not having sex tonight. Please…get a grip on yourself and understand that.”

Tina pulled her arm from Bette’s hold and walked into the bathroom that was off her bedroom, where she started the shower for her. Bette fell back onto the bed and looked at the ceiling.

**************  
SHANE’S CAR

“So don’t forget, Tina will call you tomorrow when she is at home, then you will know that you can stop covering…okay?”

“Okay. Bette is going to be sick as a dog tomorrow. Is Tina going to stay there for a good part of the day?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t say. Bette was funny though. I couldn’t help myself, I laughed so hard at how she was trying to put the make on Tina. It’s a good thing that Bette drove with me rather than with her, cause I’m not sure Bette wouldn’t have just mauled her right there.”

“Don’t I know…she’s an animal when she drinks,” Alice said in a sultry voice as she reminisced.

“And you would know…how?” Shane asked.

“Never mind…I just do.”

“Jesus Al, don’t even tell me you were messing around with Bette while she’s been with Tina.”

“Oh my god! How could you possibly think I could do something so dishonorable? Tina is my friend too, and I would never violate that trust by fucking around with her girlfriend.” Alice paused briefly. “…even if she is one hot hoochie mama.”

“Uh huh…why don’t I believe a word you just said?”

“Don’t know. Look, gotta run. Dane and I are hitting the toy store.”

“You are?! Why didn’t you guys tell me you were going?”

“It was spur of the moment.” Alice said with a snarl. “I totally cannot wait to get some flavored lube.”

“Call me if you find any nipple clips. I can’t find mine.” Shane requested.

“Meeeooowwwwww…nipple clips huh? Can I borrow them sometime?”

“Only if I can watch.” Shane joked back.

*********  
BETTE’S

Tina started the shower and was making some adjustments to get the right temperature before going back into the bedroom to help Bette. As she started out the bathroom door towards the bedroom, she seen Bette sit up on the bed and hold her head.

“I…I’m…not feeling so well…”

Tina grabbed the wastebasket from the bathroom and ran to the bed just in time. Bette started heaving, a sound that always caused Tina to wince and look away whenever one of their friends was barfing. Bette slid to the floor as Tina brought the bucket down to the floor in front of her. Once on all fours, Bette hovered over it and was vomiting violently. Tina rubbed her back with one hand, and held her hair back with her other hand. 

“Do you think you’re done?”

Bette held her head and didn’t say a word.

“I’ll get you a cold towel.” Tina stood up from the floor and went to the bathroom to retrieve a cold compress. Upon returning, she kneeled back down on the floor and wiped Bette’s face. 

“I’m sorry,” Bette muttered as Tina cleaned around her mouth.

“It’s okay…do you think you can stand up and take a shower?”

Bette nodded.

“Okay, why don’t we get these clothes off then. The water’s been running and I’m sure it’s more than ready for you.”

Tina helped Bette into the bathroom, and assisted her in taking off her clothes and then her underwear. Bette seemed so vulnerable standing there naked, before Tina. She arched her brow at Tina, who decided to ignore any further attempts by Bette to encourage a sexual encounter, as all previous attempts at telling her right out “no” had proven fruitless so far.

“I’m going to sit on the toilet seat over there and wait for you to get done.”

Tina helped Bette as she stepped into the shower before taking a seat and waiting for her.

**************  
TOY STORE

“Do not embarrass me in there,” Dana warned, hesitating to remove her sunglasses.

Alice held the door open. “What is that suppose to mean, and who are you hiding from?”

Dana was more reserved than Alice ever could be when it came to anything that even border lined erotic. She was okay with showing affection outwardly, and was even okay with some risqué conversation that she and the gang shared. However, sex toys, positions, intimate details of her sex life, were things she preferred to keep to herself.

“I don’t want anyone I know to see me.” Dana readjusted her glasses,

“Oh yeah, and wearing those glasses is really going to hide who you are. If you’re worried about the kids from school, they know you are my girlfriend Dana, and the sunnie’s won’t help you hide that in the least.”

Alice’s eye caught a display that was promoting a new flavor of edible undies. 

“OoOOoo La La...I so need for you to wear this so I can eat you.” Alice snarled. “And I’ll definitely allow you to eat these ones off me.”

“Shhh…must you be so damn loud.” Dana admonished Alice. “Just pick something and pay for it so we can get out of here.”

“Dane will you lighten up? God I wish Shane was here right now, she would be so into this.”

As Alice continued to be enlightened by some of the newer products that were on display since the last time she visited, Dana’s eye caught something on the far wall of the store. She walked away from Alice, leaving her talking to herself as she approached the display.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

*********  
BETTE’S

Tina had kept the bathroom door open halfway so the steam could filter from the room. As she waited for Bette, she periodically asked how she was doing, which resulted in a typical response from Bette that it would be so much nicer if Tina was in there with her. The guilt that Tina felt, was building more and more as she thought about Bette in this condition, knowing full well that this act was done after the text messages went back and forth. She was feeling more and more responsible for Bette’s struggles, and knew that the only choice she had was to have a talk with Bette the next day. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, for either of them.

“There…all clean,” Bette said as she slid the glass door to the shower open. 

Tina stood up and went to help Bette out of the shower. “Do you feel any better?”

“A little bit. I’m tired though.”

“I’m sure you are. I put your PJ’s on the bed.”

Bette and Tina walked to the bedroom, where Tina offered a little help in getting her dressed. Bette continued her attempts to get a frisky, but they weren’t nearly as strong as they had been before the shower. 

“Okay….there….why don’t you get into bed and just try to sleep.” Tina pulled the covers to the bed down.

“Are you going to sleep with me?” Bette asked.

“I will…but as I said Bette, no sex. Can you deal with that?”

Bette pouted for a moment. “I don’t like it, but yes I can deal with it.”

“Good…I’ll grab a t-shirt from your drawer and wear that to bed.”

Tina went to Bette’s dresser and grabbed a t-shirt that Bette had from the Softball Team she had played on last year. She took her shirt and bra off, as well as her pants and dropped them all to the floor. When she slid into bed, she was wearing just her thong and Bette’s t-shirt.

“Are you warm enough?” Bette asked.

“Yes, I’m comfy.” Tina was on her side facing Bette. “How is your tummy?”

“It’s better. I don’t feel like everything is spinning anymore.”

“Good…just get some sleep.”

Bette closed her eyes as Tina caressed her brow. It was something that always eased Bette into a comfortable and peaceful state when she did that. For Tina, sleep didn’t come so quickly. She had too many thoughts taking up residency in her mind, and as a result, she found herself incapable of turning off the mental conversations and images she was having as to how she was going to approach this whole discussion with Bette the next day.

**************  
ALICE’S CAR

“I cannot wait to use that tonight!”

“I still cannot believe you bought it.” Dana’s expression remained surprised.

“You WERE drooling over it were you not?”

“I was ‘curious’, I wouldn’t go so far to say I was drooling.”

“Yeah, right.” 

“I still didn’t think it would be something you would try.”

Alice laughed. “Since when would you ever think something was too outrageous for me?”

Dana chuckled. “I know…that’s true. I totally should have known better.”

“Yes you should have.” Alice returned with an arched brow. 

Dana smiled, feeling a bit more comfortable in the car than how she felt in the store as they headed to Alice’s place.

“You do realize your place is getting pretty crowded.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well at this point, I’m spending the night there, and Tina is too.” Dana had bust out laughing before she could go any further with the conversation.

“You are such a smart ass you know that?”

“I know.” Dana offered proudly.

*********  
BETTE’S

Bette had turned over on her side, her back now facing Tina. It wasn’t long before Tina’s automatic instincts took over and her body was up against those curves, spooning Bette. She draped her arm around Bette’s waist as she lay there battling the thoughts in her head. She felt Bette’s body move lightly against hers, with each breath she took in and out. Tina never felt so torn in her entire life. So many different scenarios played out in her head as to what her future might look like if she defied her parents and made a life with Bette. She feared that if she made that choice to be with Bette, how would she truly know that what they shared in these youthful days would remain with them through college and further on into life? What if she did choose Bette, lost her family, and then somewhere down the line she and Bette broke up? There was one other lingering thought that she had buried so deep, but in recent days, it was surfacing more and more. She recalled how one day her mother was on the phone with her Aunt, and from the one part of the conversation Tina heard, it appeared that there was a discussion that was taking place between both of them regarding Tina and her lack of dating. Tina clearly recalled her Mom mentioning that she felt that Tina was “avoiding” boys and choosing to hang out with the girls because she had a hard time letting herself be open to boys on a more personal level after everything that happened to her when she was a child. Somewhere in Tina’s heart, she wondered if there was any truth to what she had overheard that day. She worried that one day, if she was with Bette or even another woman, that she might realize that she had made a decision, somewhere in her young life to turn away from boys after the molestation she endured at a young age. This question was one that Tina had buried deep, from the day she heard it a few years back until now when it was surfacing as a result of her fears. Her thoughts were interrupted by Bette tossing a bit.

“Shhhh…go back to sleep.” Tina whispered.

Bette turned her head and body just enough to peer behind at Tina. “Did we have sex?”

Tina couldn’t help but laugh at how focused Bette was on that. “No…we did not.”

“Good.”

“Good?” 

“Well if we did and I didn’t remember, that would have been so much worse than not having it at all.” Bette muttered as her eyes closed once again.

Tina rubbed Bette’s arm as the brunette drifted back into a peaceful sleep.

*********  
ALICE’S

Alice’s excitement was clearly showing as her eyes widened with each item she removed from the bag.

“No wonder this cost me so much…look how much we ended up with?”

“I guess you will have to work a few more hours at the Ice Cream shop if you want to rebuild that savings account.” Dana joked.

“Oh come on, it was expensive but it didn’t run me dry.”

“I don’t think there is a thing in this world that could run you ‘dry’ Al,” Dana quipped.

Alice arched a brow at Dana and smiled. “You know it baby. You also need to know that you are going to be begging me for more and more when I get you in bed.”

“Oh you think so huh? Who says I won’t have YOU begging for more?” Dana rallied back.

“Guess there is no way to know until we get in bed right?”

“Bed? I was thinking more like the living room floor.”

“Meeeoooowwww…you tiger you. God I love when you get all horned up. You are so fucking hot when you get going.”

Dana smiled as she looked at the back of the edible undies. “Not too many calories…good.”

Alice grabbed the undies from Dana. “My god is it always about calories?”

“No it isn’t. I was just curious that’s all.”

“Well, whatever calories they are, we will wear them off in no time.”

Alice took the box out of the bag, and started to read the back. Dana looked over her shoulder, rather interested in the item she had set her eyes upon early on in their shopping.

“I wonder how it will feel?”

“Only one way to find out Baby!” Alice formed an evil grin as she opened the box and removed the contents.

*********  
BETTE’S

Tina slipped out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. She had grabbed a glass from Bette’s cupboard and pushed it against the water lever on the fridge. She leaned against the counter and took a few sips as she put her hand through her hair. She placed the glass down on the counter, and hadn’t realized that it wasn’t completely level when she had let go of it. As a result, the water spilled onto the countertop.

“Shit!” Tina grabbed the roll of paper towels and immediately began absorbing the water before it traveled over the edge of the counter. 

As she contained the water’s flow, she realized some of it had seeped into what appeared to be a pile of mail. She moved the pieces that were still dry, and started to pat the ones that had some water on them. Upon picking up the last one, her eyes immediately noticed the return address.

“Stanford?”

It wasn’t in Tina’s nature to step over a line of trust, but the curiosity in her head had peaked to a level she had never felt before, not to mention the fact the envelope had already been opened. She was sure that it was a letter from the school either accepting or rejecting Bette’s application. She started to assume the worse, that Bette wasn’t accepted. Surely she would have told her if it was news that she had gotten into the school of her dreams…wouldn’t she of?

Tina’s hands had a mild tremor to them as she stared at the return address, with so many thoughts flooding her mind. She struggled with her own morals, for she wanted so badly to read the contents of the letter, and yet at the same time felt that she would also be stepping over a very very big line.

*********  
ALICE’S

Alice and Dana had undressed and were sitting on top of the bed, looking at just one of the strange toys they had bought.

“I don’t know Al, this is a little over the top.” Dana admitted as she started to get more reserved.

“It probably feels wonderful…come on Dane, you have to take that walk on the wild sometime babe.” 

“That thin wire there doesn’t look so strong. What if it breaks off inside of me?” Dana asked with a bit of hesitation in her voice.

“Dane, of course it isn’t. I’m sure a lot of people use these. These bullets can be a load of fun.”

Alice placed the “Magnum” on the mattress. The dual vibrating bullets would provide pleasure simultaneously.

Alice took hold of the tube of KY jelly and lubricated each bullet shaped piece.

“Do you want bottom or top?” Alice asked while holding each bullet.

“Um, bottom…I think.” 

Dana laid back against the pillow as Alice scooted close to her, bringing one of her knees between Dan’s legs, and her other knee to the opposite side of her leg. She reached between her own legs, as Dana watched on, and gently slid one of the bullets inside of herself. “God this is going to feel so fucking good,” Alice remarked. 

Dana parted her legs further, allowing Alice all the access she would need to slip the bullet inside of her. Alice slowly brought the bullet to Dana’s clit and rolled it once over the sensitive nub before sliding it down further and into the canal that was already moist and ready for further action. 

“Are you going to start it?” Dana asked, now appearing a little impatient.

“No…not yet. We need a little foreplay don’t you think?”

Dana smirked and grabbed the back of Alice’s shoulders as she brought her face to her. Alice’s hair tickled one of Dana’s nipples as her mouth searched for the protruding flesh that had already hardened. Dana moaned at the moment that Alice pulled her nipple into her mouth and pushed it with her tongue against her upper teeth.

“Ohhhh…shit.” Dana groaned as she lifted her chest into Alice’s face. “Mmmmmm.” Her hands roamed Alice’s neck as she encouraged her mouth to stay right where it was on her body.

Alice slid her tongue down the side of Dana’s breast, across her sternum, and up the inside of the other where she indulged in that nipple as she did the first. Dana’s youthful body had become aroused so very quickly. She begged Alice to bring her to orgasm.

“Please…just make me cum. I need to cum so bad.” Dana was desperate. She slid her hand down her leg to where Alice had pushed her own center against. 

“I’ll make you cum…just …let it build” Alice replied as she continued to give all her attention to Dana’s breast.

Alice slid her knee up against Dana’s center. She used her hand to separate Dana so her knee would make the needed contact with Dana’s clit. 

“God you are so wet,” Alice muttered into Dana’s breast. 

Alice grinded her own center against Dana’s leg with the same force and rhythm she was using with her own leg on Dana’s center. Dana’s finger was anxiously searching for Alice’s clit as it rubbed against her leg. She needed Alice to be in the same state of need as she was, so that she would turn the toy on and push them both forward towards the orgasm she was craving so much.

Dana rotated Alice’s clit as Alice grinded against what was now Dana’s fingers and leg. She was feeling herself get more and more aroused, but refused to start up the toy just yet.

“Shit….Al…I am so…close…but…I…can’t...get there…dammit!...put it on…I.”

Alice brought her mouth to Dana. She pushed her tongue hard against Dana’s lips, which parted easily, accepting Alice completely. As their tongues fought to dominate the other, Alice reached down and pressed the button to the toy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, stay safe.

CHAPTER 13

****************  
NEXT MORNING

Bette turned over and groaned as she held her head. The California sun was shining bright on this Saturday morning, and the sheer curtains that hung in her bedroom windows weren’t helping to keep the light out. She turned her head slowly to find Tina laying on her side, her arm bent at the elbow supporting her head as she stared at Bette. Bette felt confused. She remembered very little, if anything at all about the last 20 hours.

“How do you feel?” Tina asked with a bit of caution. The expression Bette had was a painful one, and it didn’t appear she was going to be in the mood to talk as she was the night before.

Bette held her hand to her face, blocking the sun from her eyes. “I have a headache.”

“I bet. Do you remember anything about last night?”

Bette nodded that she hadn’t. 

“That might be a good thing.” 

“Did we have sex?” Bette asked as she peaked at Tina from the space between her fingers.

“No…no we didn’t.”

Bette had felt a little embarrassed to have to of asked, but it if they did, it would mean she and Tina were in a different place than they were yesterday when they were at school. She just needed to know what happened.

Bette draped her forearm over her forehead. “Did we do anything…at all?”

“Nope. You sure wanted to, but…it wouldn’t have been right.”

“Right.” Bette replied, in a way that seemed like she was trying to convince herself of that.

An awkward silence grew between them both.

“Um…do you want me to get you some aspirin or something?”

“No thanks, it will go away eventually.”

The silence was awkward, painful in a sense. Sometimes the absence of words sent a stronger message than the words themselves. Bette wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Tina was going to very likely honor her father’s wishes. The little conversation they had shared about it pointed to that being the case. Tina’s appearance, her reservation and lack of discussion were just added affirmations to Bette, that she was sensing something bad.

“What time does Kit usually come home on the weekends?” Tina asked.

“Usually in the afternoon…what time is it now?”

Tina looked at her watch. “It’s about 1015am.”

“She won’t be home until after 2pm sometime.”

Tina sat up in the bed and folded her legs so she was sitting tailor style. “Bette…we need to talk.”

Bette glanced from the ceiling to Tina, whose body language appeared guarded and expression serious. Bette knew they had to talk, whatever the conversation was going to be, they had to do it because things really sucked at the moment. She sat up and grabbed one of the extra pillows and placed it behind her. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

“I’m listening.”

Tina wasn’t even sure where to begin. She hesitated for a few moments.

“I just don’t know where to start. You know I love you so much don’t you?”

Bette felt her face flush. She knew Tina well enough, sometimes too well for her own good. She reached deep for that place where she could bring a wall up fast, so that her emotions wouldn’t come to the surface.

“…Bette…don’t you?” Tina repeated as she looked more deeper at Bette.

Bette’s expression was hard. She had found that place she needed to get herself to mentally. 

“You want to end this don’t you?” Bette blurted out. Tina was stunned by such a direct but yet accurate question. “I can see it in your eyes….I know you better than most anyone. I’ve felt it…I’ve felt it coming. Why the fuck did you jerk me around for a year?”

“Jerk you around? You cannot be serious? How can you say that? Did you honestly think that I wanted this to be this way?”

Bette’s lips were tightly closed as she stared at her feet. Tina took a deep breath before continuing. The last thing she wanted was for them to fight about something that neither of them truly wanted.

“Bette, I don’t ‘want’ anything to end. It isn’t about me wanting that. It’s just…well life can take people in different directions. Even if we put aside my father for a moment, we are both going to be at different schools. How could we ever expect one another to stay together long distance, at a time when we are entering college? Do you know how many women are going to be after you…IN person? Do you honestly believe you can sit there and resist their affection and attention?”

Bette didn’t say a word. She was so focused on not showing any emotion, and so far she was containing the anger and tears…thus far.

“…..how would we ever have something long distance work and also have to stay in the closet? What about when you drink and get all horned up like you did last night? There are going to be parties all over campus Bette. There is no way in hell you are going to be resisting all these beautiful babes that are going to be putting moves on you. Do you even remember making out with Carla?”

Bette looked over at Tina. She hadn’t. “What are you talking about?”

“In your car, at Point Rock. When I found you there, you were in your car making out with Carla.”

“Carla? Carla who?”

“Carla Preston.”

“Carla Preston?! Come on.”

“I’m serious Bette. You were in the car and you were both making out. Your hand was up under her shirt. I have no clue how much you both even did before I got there. At least your clothes were still on.”

“Damn! I never knew she was even interested.”

Tina rolled her eyes. “Not funny.”

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean it the way it sounded…honestly.” Bette was sincere.

Tina tilted her head a little as she studied Bette. She reached out and took hold of Bette’s hand.

“I love you Bette. I love you more than I could probably ever have imagined loving someone. You gave me something in my life that I found very little of, and that has been unconditional love. You have changed so much about yourself to be with me, whether you realize it or not.”

“I never had a problem making small changes Tee.”

“They may have started small, but now…now they have grown so much bigger than us Bette.” Tina caressed the back of Bette’s hand as she looked down at it. 

Bette felt the tears coming to her eyes, and she expected that there would be a point that if she couldn’t remain focused on her anger, that they would come. She wasn’t going to try to hide it, for it was real, it was painful, and it was all she was feeling. 

Tina continued. “Baby, I can’t do this to you. I can’t make you become someone you aren’t.”

“You’re not Tee…I’m still me.”

“You think you are. You have had to deal with so much bullshit by coming up with all these different stories as to why you aren’t “seeing someone” when the other kids ask. You have missed out on being able to go to a basketball game and have someone laying back against you while you drape your hands around them like everyone else is doing. Even just reaching across the table at a restaurant to hold hands…hell anywhere other than The Planet for that matter. Bette, you know I’m right. Do you think I never noticed your disappointment when you would reach for my hand in public and I would pull away?”

Bette looked from Tina to the blanket. She knew in her heart that what Tina was saying was right on target. At the same time, she also felt that because she loved Tina so very much, those things didn’t have as much value compared to what she gained from being ‘with’ Tina. She just couldn’t picture her future without Tina in it.

“Tee, I am so much richer for having you in my life and even if there were some changes that I made, I made them because I chose to make them. I never looked at it like I lost something. Instead, I looked at what I gained.”

Tina’s brows curled more at Bette’s touching words. She squeezed Bette’s hand. “I love you Bette Porter, but I’m going to be 3,000 miles away from you, during years which are suppose to be an experience for us like no other. We are struggling now, and we are both in the same state, the same school. Do you honestly think that it would get any better?”

Bette knew it wouldn’t. She knew quite well that they could both sit here, as in love as love would allow, and want to believe in all their heart that things would be “okay” between them. That they could be one of “those” couples that made it in a long distance relationship. However, four years would be a very long time to be apart, even if they were able to get together every three months or so. How could they truly sustain something when as Tina said, it was getting more and more difficult and they weren’t even dealing with the pressures of geographical distance.

“I guess I can’t say that it would…but…I just can’t give up without trying first.” Bette muttered, showing her resistance. 

“I’m not so sure that ‘trying’ at this point in our life is the right thing to do.” Tina’s voice was filled with emotion.

Bette looked up at Tina, and found that she too had tears fill her eyes. Tina lunged forward and hugged Bette tight. Bette wrapped her arms around Tina, clinging to her body firmly. The tears strolled down both their cheeks as the familiar grip felt so different this time. Both of them remained locked in their embrace as their weeping took over the ability to converse any further. It took a few moments for one of them to be able to form anything understandable.

“I …can’t…let you…go TK.” Bette whispered by her ear.

“I… can’t let… you…go… either.” Tina returned in between her sobs.

**************  
ALICE’S

“Dana…Dane.” Alice shook Dana’s shoulder as she lay asleep.

“Hu…uh…what?” Dana lifted her head from the pillow. “What time is it?”

“Um…about 1045. Why are you still sleeping?”

Dana squinted as she attempted to look at Alice. “You’re all dressed?”

“Yep! I want to go to the beach today. How about it?”

“Are you serious? I just want to sleep.” Dana dropped her head back to the pillow.

“Why?”

“You wore me out,” Dana muttered into the fabric.

Alice chuckled. “Well…if you stay in bed, I might want to take my clothes off and have my way with you again. M-e-e-e-o-o-w-w…..I’m not kidding you,” Alice warned.

“No…no way. I’m spent.”

“Daaaaane” Alice whined. “It’s beautiful today! We can get some really nice color. Come on.”

Dana pulled Alice’s pillow from her side and squeezed it over her head.

“Ugh! You can be so boring sometimes!” Alice complained as she leaned forward and grabbed the pillow from Dana. “Come on, get up.”

Dana reached behind her, trying to feel for the pillow that Alice had just removed. “Give me the pillow” Dana demanded.

“You want it?” Alice asked.

“Yes, I do”

Alice took the pillow and hit Dana over the head with it two times, before Dana turned around and retaliated. In no time at all, both girls were engaged in a serious pillow fight on the bed.

*********  
BETTE’S

“We have the summer. Why don’t we just make the best of the time we have, and …well…then we both know how it all ends. We go our separate ways for school.” Bette thought her heart was going to fall out of her chest as she spoke each word.

Tina looked at Bette, her eyelashes wet from the tears, caused them to stick together a little bit. 

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

Bette got up from the bed and walked to the window, where she looked out of it for a moment. “None of this is what I want. I want us to stay together. I also understand that logically what you have said, regardless of your father’s wishes, that things are going to be different. When we all use to talk about college, we spoke of us being in schools in California, within at least a driving distance. I mean…it’s true that even if your father didn’t forbid you to see me, we would still be facing an almost impossible situation. But...I guess I just feel that we should get the most out of our summer. We love one another. Why should we deny that for the next three and a half months?”

Tina wasn’t sure what would be best. Was it better to have them break things off now and ease into a friendship before they separated to different schools? Was Bette right that perhaps they could enjoy what little time they had left as a couple, and maybe in parting and going to a whole new school away from one another, the whole “newness” might help them heal? 

“I don’t know the answer,” Tina uttered.

Bette turned from the window. “Well…you know what? I WANT the next three months or so. I WANT us for as long as we can have us. I…I would rather when we went off to school, that we both went just accepting that our academics led us in different directions in our life. If we break things off now, it just feels wrong. It feels like we are just giving up sooner than we have to. I can’t do that. Dammit Tina, I WON’T do that.”

Bette was firm in her conviction, and Tina felt it strongly. She thought of what Bette said, and she admitted to herself rather quickly, that she had just been trying to weigh the same option. Denying themselves these three months, would be doing so just to really do what her father wanted. Tina had been getting more and more angry with her father and felt that in the end, he would be accomplishing what he wanted anyway, when she was 3,000 miles away from Bette. 

“Okay…good...then…then we will stay together until we have to go off to school.”

Bette and Tina stared at one another. The sun was shimmering off of Bette’s brown curls as they lay against her shoulders. The white wife beater she wore clung to her body, accentuating each lovely curve. Bette slowly walked to the edge of the bed where Tina was now sitting with her legs over the side. She slid one leg between Tina’s, and gently pushed it aside, making room for her other leg. Tina looked up at Bette as she placed her hands around Bette’s waist. Bette reached down and slid both her hands on each side of Tina’s face, her long fingers just touching Tina’s neck as her thumbs slid down Tina’s cheeks.

“I love you Tina Kennard…I always will.” A tear escaped from Bette’s eye and journeyed down her cheek to her chin, then onto the bare skin of her forearm.

“I love you too Bette Porter…more than I’ll ever love another person …ever” Tina replied softly.

Before another tear could escape either of their eyes, their lips merged and they were engaged in a desperate kiss filled with both love and hopelessness. Bette reached down and took hold of the bottom of Tina’s shirt. She slowly raised it up, breaking their kiss just long enough to quickly lift it over her head, and to the floor. Her hands traced Tina’s sides as her fingers spread out to cover as much of Tina’s bare skin as possible while her mouth resumed it’s mission to feel and explore the confines of Tina’s mouth. Tina slid her hands up under Bette’s shirt, feeling her soft skin come alive as it formed goose bumps on the surface. She moaned in response to the repeated break in their kiss as Bette removed her own shirt, throwing it to the floor. 

Tina’s eyes immediately searched Bette’s breasts before reaching forward with both hands. Bette moaned at the moment Tina’s hands made contact with her. As her palms cupped both of Bette’s breasts, she felt her hard and protruding nipples press against the center of her palms.

“You’re so beautiful” Tina expressed with an aroused sigh, before slowly spreading her fingers open. As she did so, Bette’s nipples were no longer confined in place by Tina’s palms. Instead, they were now protruding between Tina’s middle and ring fingers. Tina squeezed her breasts gently before bringing her mouth forward and extending her tongue to trace one of those inviting nipples.

“Jesus.” Bette moaned as her hands found themselves engrossed in Tina’s hair. “That feels so good Tina.”

Tina dragged her nails down Bette’s back to the edge of her pajama pants. She slid them inside and squeezed Bette’s ass, her nails digging into her firm cheeks. She took hold of the edge of both the pajama’s and the thong Bette was wearing, and slid them down her thighs to her knees. She pulled her mouth from Bette’s breast, while Bette removed them both. Tina meanwhile slid off her thong, the last piece of clothing she had been wearing, and discarded it to the floor.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

**********

Bette took another step forward towards Tina. As she did so, Tina lay back against the bed as Bette’s body advocated for her to do. Her breasts were soon compressed against Bette’s as Bette brought her mouth to Tina’s neck. She kissed her skin lightly, making circles with her tongue. She pulled her face back just a bit, then blew a breath on the wet skin. The combination of warmth and cold sent a shiver through Tina’s body. Her hands roamed Bette’s back as Bette resumed an oral journey of Tina’s neck and earlobe. She sucked….she pulled...she licked and bit lightly. Bette was an amazing lover, and when she took her time and made love, it caused Tina to ache tremendously for that ultimate release.

“Uhhmmmm…your mouth feels so good on me,” Tina offered in a low and sultry voice.

Bette dragged her tongue down Tina’s neck, to her collar bone where she sucked on the skin there, pulling a small amount into her mouth. One of her hands slid between their bodies and stopped at the start of Tina’s pubic hair. She crept further down until she grazed the tip of Tina’s clit with her middle finger, while her tongue journeyed down Tina’s chest to her breast. She traced her areola lightly with her tongue as her middle finger dipped inside Tina’s drenched abyss. She withdrew her finger which was glistening from the cum that surrounded it. She brought it to Tina’s nipple and circled it, making sure to surround her nipple completely with the substance. Tina looked down and watched this relatively erotic gesture. Bette placed her hand on both sides of Tina, and slowly lowered her head, being sure she kept her eyes fixed on Tina’s face. Tina’s eyes moved quickly between Bette’s eyes and her nipple as she watched her gradually descend until the tip of her tongue circled Tina’s nipple. Tina closed her eyes, for the sensation as well as the image itself turned her on more than she could have ever imagined. She moaned deep, for this moment was so much more than she and Bette sharing themselves in a physical way. It was capturing so much of that bond that they both shared, which was so deep, and strong. Bette was making this moment everything she could. There was love, there was tenderness, and there was definitely a level of heightened passion and eroticism all in one package.

“Babe……make love to me…..please …..just ravish me……overwhelm me.” Tina kept her eyes closed as she expressed her wants. She was so engrossed in the moment that she and Bette were sharing. 

Tina knew there would be few if any, private moment’s like this. The intimacy that they would share throughout the summer, would likely be limited to Bette’s car, or one of their friends places where exclusiveness would be rare. This very instant however, they had only one another. This intimacy followed one of the most difficult conversations they both ever had, and therefore this closeness they were both engaged in, would be one of the most fundamental and meaningful moments they would likely share before their paths separated.

Bette’s brows curled as she laid the side of her head on Tina’s abdomen. For a brief moment, she realized that she would never have that chance to feel her abdomen when she was expecting. That the dreams she had held close to her heart of them having a baby together one day were simply left to that…a dream.

Tina spread her legs further, inviting Bette to resume her journey lower. She was so aroused and horny at this time, that she just needed to feel Bette making love to her.

“Baby please…please don’t make me wait.” Tina was desperate in her pleas. “I need to feel you touching me there….god I just need you.” 

Bette contained her emotions that surfaced upon reaching Tina’s abdomen, and she continued further south. Tina found less and less patience waiting for Bette to touch her. She reached down and started to touch herself when Bette grabbed hold of her hand and pulled it away. 

“Don’t You Dare!” she said, flashing an admonishing look at Tina.

“Then hurry…Geez…just…ust take me.” Tina begged.

Bette brought her mouth to Tina’s groin and sucked the skin hard. She could feel the moisture in her own mouth, and from Tina’s skin dissipate quickly as she sucked harder and harder. Tina squirmed at the enjoyable feeling that this sensitive spot offered. Bette made a slow and wet path of kisses down Tina’s inner thigh, to her calf and ultimately to her feet. 

“Baby, what are you doing? I need you right here!” Tina said pointing to her center. “If you don’t get up here soon I’m going to ….to…ohhmmmm…”

Before Tina could finish her sentence, she dropped her head back to the pillow and squeezed the bedspread. Bette’s mouth had found her toes. She had never done this before, but this time, she had taken a leisurely journey to explore Tina’s body in every way imaginable. Tina’s obvious reaction indicated that Bette had found a rather erogenous and receptive spot that had not been played with before.

“Shit!!! That......ju..just…feels…” Tina couldn’t finish. She attempted to open her eyes to look down at Bette, but it was fruitless. The most they would do, was flutter in response to the strokes her lover’s tongue was making around each one of her toes.

Bette slid her warm tongue between two toes, enticing the skin with the tip of her tongue. Tina’s toes moved in response to the wet, slippery, and provoking feeling she created. The corner of her mouth formed a small smile as Bette sucked one of her toes into her mouth and rolled her tongue around it. Bette lingered a few more minutes on this newly explored area before making small kisses up Tina’s leg, and to the very place that Tina had been waiting for her to zone in on. She could smell Tina’s sex as her nose was only inches away from her center. She inhaled deeply, wanting so much to savor this scent and devote it to memory. 

Tina struggled with her patience. Her center ached, almost to the point where it was painful. She needed Bette in every form of the word itself. Her fingers reached for Bette’s hair, and when they found her curls, they weaved themselves through them and attempted to pull Bette closer.

Bette brought her mouth to Tina’s clit and kissed it lightly, her lips surrounding the swollen and moist nub as her tongue probed the hood, swirling it in that lone spot. Tina’s hips shifted up towards Bette’s face as she moaned from the extraordinary feeling that Bette’s mouth was creating on that area. Bette’s mouth reeked havoc on Tina’s most sensitive and private part of her body. There was intensity, ferocity in her need to please Tina to the ultimate degree. She wanted her woman to cum, and wasn’t prepared to agree to just one orgasm, for she wanted to please Tina over and over again. She slid her middle finger inside Tina’s saturated center, then dragged it straight down, until she found another hole, a hole she had never once engaged herself with the many times they made love. She slowly slid one finger inside of Tina’s anus, whose muscle response enveloped that finger firmly. 

Tina’s eyes opened wide. She had never ever experienced this particular thing with Bette. She stared at the ceiling a moment, anticipating just what was going to happen next. Bette felt Tina tighten further around her finger. She spoke in between the licks she was making on Tina’s clit.

“….it….it’s …okay…relax…enjoy it…” Bette muttered into Tina’s saturated center.

She felt Tina’s muscles release from around her finger as she relaxed that area a little more. She entered Tina’s vagina with the thumb from the same hand she was using to stimulate her anus. She moved her middle finger forward inside, and then moved her thumb down as she created circles with both fingers. Tina was now literally gripped completely by Bette. 

Tina had become completely shocked at how mind altering the sensation was that Bette had now created. That entire part of her body was under Bette’s control now, and she became paralyzed by a method of gratification that couldn’t be compared to anything she had known in her life.

Bette sucked on Tina’s clit, using a rhythm and pressure that she felt Tina responding to. She wasn’t sure if it was her mouth, her thumb inside her vagina, or her middle finger inside her anus. Heck, she wasn’t sure if it was the entire combination, but she knew Tina’s body was under her command, and she was, without question, getting the response she desired. She optimized every option available to be as sexually productive as possible, which in turn, was encouraging one hell of an incredible climax.

Tina felt her mouth go dry as the whimpers of pleasure that escaped her mouth multiplied. She grabbed the bedspread with a desperation she had never felt to this degree. She squeezed the fabric tight as her knuckles turned a whole different shade from the force she was exerting. Her breathing became more and more labored, her moans more louder. Toes on each foot started to curl in, like some automatic response that similarly matched the involuntary movement of her hips. Tina was experiencing one of the most stimulating and satisfying orgasms of her life. Her body felt like it was riding one powerful wave which she hoped would stretch out even more before it ripped through her body completely. 

Bette remained focused on Tina’s body and how it was reacting to the rhythm, pressure, and style she was demonstrating. She felt Tina’s insides begin to pulsate and tighten, and knew she was at that moment of orgasm. Tina’s moans swiftly turned into a thunderous scream at the moment she had peaked. The orgasm ripped forcefully through her entire body as it shook and trembled. At that moment, her very existence seemed surreal, almost numb, with the exception of her tight center now throbbing viciously from the aftermath of such a fierce overload of her sensors. 

************  
BEACH

Dana and Alice were laying on their stomachs, on the plaid blanket that Alice kept in the trunk of her car, for their occasional beach excursions. 

“Mmm….I love how warm the sun is on my back,” Alice admitted.

“I know. It’s so nice.” 

“I wonder how Bette and Tina are doing?”

Alice cared about both women, very much. She had a closer relationship with Bette, as they both shared a much more wild streak than their other friends. She worried about how Bette was going to take it, should Tina actually go forward with her plans to break up.

“Terribly I’m sure. Well, if Tina ended up telling her they were done.”

“I don’t know, maybe I am too much of a dreamer. I just think she should tell her father to go to hell and be with the love of her life.”

“It isn’t always that simple.” Dana was feeling sleepy. 

“Dane, Bette and Tina share something…so…so deep. Don’t you feel that when you are around them? I mean, even though they can’t be “out” to everyone, I feel it when they are in our presence.”

“That’s true. I think what they have is unique.”

Alice propped herself up so she was now resting on the bottom of her forearms. Her sunglasses were protecting her eyes from the hot California sun. 

“Do you think we have what they do?”

Alice knew in her heart, that their friends didn’t look at them in the same way that everyone looked at Bette and Tina.

“Um…I don’t know…do you?” 

Dana’s lack of confidence and uncertainty spoke volumes.

“I guess that answers my question.” Alice’s disappointment showed in the tone of her voice.

Dana turned onto her side and faced Alice. “Al, you have an opinion too. What do you think?”

Alice hesitated. It was so much easier to have just let the conversation end at Dana’s opinion. She looked down at her hands which were playing with the sand.

“I think we have something that feels wonderful.”

“But?”

“I don’t know, I guess Bette and Tina are just so different. Don’t you feel that when you see them?”

Dana looked out at the oceans might. She watched the waves build then crash to the shore.

“Dane?”

“They do have something different. I don’t know what it is…it just is.”

Alice and Dana remained silent. They didn’t bother to question or compare their own relationship. It wouldn’t be right to do. They both knew that Bette and Tina’s love wasn’t built on a fairytale. It certainly had many challenges and struggles, but at the same time, it is what made it seem so unique and different. They were both girls who had this untraditionally strong love at this young age. Dana and Alice had both been with other women and men before. They realized that at this young age, the likelihood of really staying in a relationship until they were old was slim to none. However, it didn’t mean they didn’t love each other less. But what it did do, was open their eyes to the bond that Bette and Tina shared. Shane was one who especially found Bette and Tina’s relationship exceptional and matchless. She was a player among players, and sensed something very exclusive between the two. She would often kid around with them that she would be helping them set up the swing set for their first child. Bette and Tina sure had something between them that no other lesbian couple could compare.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe by socially distancing. Very grateful for health care workers and many others on the front lines. Here is a little something to take your mind off these difficult days.

CHAPTER 15

****************  
BETTE’S HOUSE

Tina lay in Bette’s embrace, exhausted by the multiple orgasms that Bette delivered. Her body was in a state of both peace and relaxation. Her blond hair stuck to the sweat that had finally started to evaporate into the air. The sweat between their bodies wasn’t leaving nearly as fast.

“My god Bette…what the hell did you do to me?” Tina’s eyes remained closed as she lay entangled with Bette’s naked body.

“I made love to you,” Bette answered softly. She had expended quite a bit of energy pleasing her lover.

Tina raised her head from Bette’s chest and looked into her chocolate brown eyes, which seemed to twinkle when they made contact with Tina’s blue gems.

“You did baby. It was beautiful…and it was the most amazing sex I think we have ever had.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” Tina’s fingernails traced the areola of Bette’s breast. “I have to tell you...I was taken back a little when you went more south than you ever did before.”

Bette smirked. “Well, Shane would have been proud now wouldn’t she? Doesn’t she always say ‘lick her in the front, poke her in the rear?’”

Tina couldn’t help but laugh and playfully slap Bette on the shoulder. It wasn’t long before her fingernails returned to tracing Bette’s breast however. 

“I never would have allowed anyone else to do that to me you know.”

“Well I would hope not,” Bette retorted pretty quickly.

“You know what I mean,” Tina said arching that all too familiar brow at Bette. “I don’t think I ever could let someone else do that to me. It takes a lot of trust…and love.”

“Never say never Tee, you never know.”

“I know Bette. I know.”

Tina’s tone was filled with conviction. There was no other love that would be allowed to have that part of her. She knew it at the very moment that she and Bette shared in that experience. Bette looked at Tina with a more serious expression.

“I don’t think you should deny yourself the chance to share in something you obviously found a lot of enjoyment in.”

“I’m denying myself the love of my life aren’t I?”

Bette wasn’t quite sure what to say. The truth is, is that Tina was doing that. However, the one thing they weren’t going to do was continue to beat up themselves or one another about the decisions they made.

“I don’t even know if I could ever have anyone touch me….like you have.”

With that last admission, Bette turned so she was facing Tina. 

“Tee, that’s not fair to you or….” It was hard for Bette to continue, but she knew that she had to. “….whoever you end up sharing yourself with.”

“It’s my body Bette. We have shared something so amazing. I don’t want someone to touch me in that same way.”

Bette couldn’t believe how serious Tina was as she spoke.

“You woke up this part of me Bette, that I don’t want to share with anyone else. I was so confused about who I was, why I had the feelings I had for women. No matter where I go in my life, you will always be a part of my life, because you helped me realize what I had been scared to admit. It’s special to me, and I won’t give that away to someone else.”

Bette caressed Tina’s arm as she wrapped her mind around the powerful dialogue that they were sharing.

“Tina, we will always have a special place in our lives and in our hearts for one another. We can never erase the past, and what we have now, when it becomes the past, it becomes a memory that is written into our lives. Whenever we look back to this time in our life, we will always remember one another. You can’t deny yourself to someone because of what we have shared. It’s like shriveling up and dying. I wouldn’t want that for you. Would you honestly want that for me?”

Tina looked at Bette with eyes that were more crystal than before. The water was returning.

“No…not at all.”

“Well I don’t want that for you either.”

“Will we always have one another Bette?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, when you meet someone one day, and you settle down. Will there always be room for me in your life in some way?”

Bette tilted her head to the side as her brows twisted. “My god Tina, of course there will be. I love you so much. No matter what schools we go to, or where we are in our lives, I will always hold you close to my heart.”

“Do you think it’s possible to do?” Tina asked cautiously as Bette brought her hand to Tina’s cheek, wiping away a tear.

“Yes, I do.”

“What if your girlfriend doesn’t want you to have a friendship with me?”

“Tina, any person that enters my life, will very likely know what a big place you have in it. If they accept me, then they accept those things that are important to me. Plain and simple.”

Tina leaned down and placed her moist lips over Bette’s breast. She surrounded Bette’s areola and nipple, kissing it gently before looking back up at Bette.

“You make it sound so simple Bette.”

Tina leaned back down and surrounded Bette’s breast once again with her mouth.

“Uhh…maybe…but…it’s what I…believe,” Bette said with a struggle to form words.

“It…may…be …harder …than you …think,” Tina muttered between licks of Bette’s equally hard nipple.

It was difficult for Bette to concentrate on the conversation when Tina was stirring her senses the way she was. 

“Can…mmhhhhmmm…just…talk about this…later?” Bette’s question was more of a plea than anything else.

Tina didn’t bother to acknowledge Bette verbally, she felt a stronger message could be told if she answered her in a physical way. With her mouth consuming one breast, she straddled one of Bette’s legs as her hand found her other nipple. Her mouth and hand waged a race as to which could please Bette more.

************  
BEACH

Dana had just finished putting more skin block on Alice’s back when Al’s cell phone rang.

“Hello”

“Alice, a letter came today for you.”

“Mom, what kind of letter?”

“It’s from Berkley honey.” Alice’s mother couldn’t hide her excitement. “I knew you would want to know.”

“Oh my god! Open it, Open it!” Alice sat up quickly as Dana looked on confused. “Hurry Mom!”

Alice noticed Dana’s confusion. “A letter, from Berkley.”

Dana smiled. “Is it an acceptance letter?”

Alice shrugged.

“Mom, what does it say?”

“Hold on honey, I’m almost……..” 

There was a silence on the phone. Alice wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

“You’ve been accepted dear!” 

“YESSSSS!!!! I’ve been accepted! YES YES YES!”

Alice was thrilled beyond belief. She couldn’t remember whether she even said goodbye to her Mom before flipping the phone shut and ending the call. She grabbed Dana’s hands and squeezed them. “I got into Berkley! I wanted to attend their School of Journalism Program so bad.”

“Al that is so awesome! Didn’t Bette apply there to?”

“Yeah, but so far she hasn’t said anything. Oh my god, you think maybe it might be in the mail to her too today?”

“I doubt the applications were reviewed side by side. But….well I guess you never know.”

“I have to call her,” Alice said with enthusiasm. “How awesome would it be if she got accepted to Berkley?”

“Um….I’m thinking dangerous is more like it.”

Alice laughed. “Come on, we wouldn’t be that outrageous together.”

“Oh don’t be so sure. You both have that wild streak, and with the help of the other students, one can only imagine how crazy things could get.”

“My god….is that the opinion you have of me my sweet girlfriend?” 

Dana and Alice both chuckled as they continued to tease one another about all the potential situations Bette and Alice could find themselves in should they attend the same school.

**************  
BETTE’S

Tina’s finger slipped between Bette’s fold, where she found Bette’s engorged clit. She grazed it lightly with the tip of her finger, her nail sliding across a small bit of skin as she began to work this rather aroused part of Bette’s body.

“Uhhhh…yesss…ri…rig…right there,” Bette said, relieved that Tina had finally reached the destination that Bette had been quite desperate for. “Mmmmm …that…feels so good.”

Tina’s face was near Bette’s. “Yeah? How good?” Her whisper near Bette’s ear sent a shiver down Bette’s body, to her center.

“Good…real good.”

“Do you like it like this?” Tina’s voice was raspy and sexy as hell. She was driving Bette absolutely crazy, between what her fingers was doing below, and the tantalizing mix of breaths and words by her ear, it was almost too much for her to handle.

“Fuck yeah!”

Tina loved having Bette under her control. Bette was a rather strong willed young lady, and it wasn’t too often that she wasn’t in a dominant, assertive and even somewhat aggressive mode. One of the very few moments Bette was like marshmallow was when Tina had her, just like she did at this very time. She slid her finger inside Bette, making sure she saturated her finger with Bette’s cum. She brought it to her mouth and licked her finger clean. “Mmmmm…god you taste so good Bette Porter.”

“That’s good…why don’t you just use your mouth instead of your fingers?” Bette’s suggestion borderlined more of a direction.

Tina smirked. “GRRRRRR…you want my mouth down there don’t you?” Tina was playing Bette in a big way.

“I do…so much.”

“I think you need to convince me Baby.” Tina locked eyes with Bette’s. They were glossed over from desire and urgency.

“Please Tee…I so need you to make love to me.”

Tina smiled at how innocent Bette appeared at the moment. She felt the passion in Bette’s expressive tone, in her body language. She made a series of small kisses on Bette’s flesh as she descended further down her abdomen, to her side, where she rolled her tongue in circles as she toyed with Bette’s hip bone. Bette squirmed at the highly sensitive spot. Tina wanted to savor every moment they shared their nakedness. She couldn’t help but begin to think, as she was pleasing Bette, who else would have their mouth on this body one day. She fought back the disturbing thoughts, and tried desperately to focus on the moment. She slipped her hands under Bette and squeezed the firm cheeks of her ass hard. The scent she had caused to emit from Bette’s center, was all her, every bit of it. She closed her eyes as her mouth consumed the brunette’s center. At the moment of contact, Bette’s hips raised up into Tina. Her center ached so much, for that familiar release. She felt her insides so tight, filled with both moisture and pressure. She wanted to cum so bad, and knew that the impending orgasm wasn’t going to be too far off. Tina had gotten her so worked up, it wasn’t going to take too long at all.

“God you taste…so…fucking good Baby,” Tina muttered into Bette’s center as she enjoyed sampling the fruits of her lover.

Bette reached down and wound her fingers through Tina’s hair. She pulled her into her further, hoping to avoid any further conversation, and only action from this point on. Tina wasn’t going to tease Bette any further, for she knew her lover needed her to finish what she started. She brought her face closer and deeper to that which has been hers exclusively. Her tongue engaged the tip of Bette’s clit, and rolled around in a firm, circular pattern. She maintained a steady rhythm, which caused Bette’s hips to move from what was a reaction to such enormous satisfaction she was feeling. Tina felt a small amount of cum slide around her tongue, an indication that her girlfriend was more than pleased. She slid her tongue down lower, and snaked it inside of Bette, deep. As she moved her tongue inside, she felt the soft and smooth walls wrap around her tongue as Bette’s body began responding to this surplus of pleasure. The taste of Bette’s arousal filled her senses, as well as her taste buds. She slid her tongue back up to Bette’s clit, where she curled it, making a tube with it as she sucked Bette’s clit in and out of the shaft which her inventive tongue had created. She could feel Bette’s clit swell inside as she slid her tongue in a way which forced Bette’s enlarged clit in and out. She gently slid two fingers inside of Bette as she continued going down on her. It didn’t’ take long for her to locate Bette’s G-spot which had become swollen from her growing climax. Bette’s breaths became shorter and weaker as she felt her body beginning to react to Tina’s incredible rhythm. It wasn’t too strong, it wasn’t too hard, it was just right. The method and consistency was enough for her body to react with a growing tightness inside while her hips began thrusting to and from, causing Tina to reach under Bette with her free hand to grip her ass so she could maintain this routine long enough to bring Bette to the edge. She knew from Bette’s insides gripping her fingers as she massaged her G-spot that she was just about there. Bette gripped a pillow with one hand and the sheet with the other as her head stretched back against the mattress. Her brows were twisted and her mouth indistinct as she released a series of strong moans while she rode the orgasm out.

*************  
BEACH

Alice had just got off the phone with Shane. She shared the good news with her, which pleased Shane completely. She knew at least she and Al would be within 15 miles of one another.

Alice came to a stop at the red light. “She was pretty psyched up.” 

“I bet. I wish I would hear something myself. I can’t stand waiting.”

“I know Dane. I bet you hear something this week.”

Alice hit the gas when the light turned green. She had been in the turning lane, and gunned it so she could pull ahead of the person that was beside her. This illegal action prompted a long wail on the horn by the driver, and a universal finger signal.

“Your horn works try your lights!” Alice shouted, knowing quite well there was no chance the driver would actually hear her. It still felt good to do anyway.

“God I HATE when you drive,” Dana stated adamantly. “You could have killed us.”

“Puhleaze! That was nothing. God you are such a drama queen sometimes.”

“No, I like to think that I am a person who thinks of safety first. I happen to like my life, with me in one piece thank you very much.”

Alice rolled her eyes and flipped her cell phone open again. She searched for Tina’s cell number.

“Like that, right there. That is so wrong. Do you have any clue how many accidents happen because of people using their cell phones?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” Alice engaged the earpiece. “Better?”

**************  
BETTE’S

Bette and Tina lay in bed enjoying the post orgasm bliss they were both fully experiencing at this moment. Bette was spooning Tina, her hand draped over Tina’s side.

“I could go right to sleep.”

“You wouldn’t want to do that. It’s beautiful outside today.”

“I wish I could bring my bed outside under the tree, and you and I could just lay like this.”

Tina smiled. The image was funny, yet it was also so peaceful. “That would be wonderful wouldn’t it? To feel the fresh air?”

“Uh huh”

Bette could feel herself getting sleepy. The short moment between an aware and unaware state was setting in. She was startled by Tina’s cell phone ringing.

“Who’s that?” Bette asked.

“I don’t know,” Tina said as she reached over the side of Bette’s bed for her jeans. She looked at the display. “It’s Alice. Hello?”

“Hey Tee, it’s me.”

“Shit, did they call?”

“Who?”

“Hello Alice, my parents? I’m over your house, remember?”

“Oh…yeah….right, well they didn’t call.”

“Jesus.” Tina rolled over on her back bringing the phone with her. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Relax, stress isn’t good for your health.”

“No kidding smart ass. So what’s up?”

“I just got my acceptance letter!” Alice couldn’t restrain her level of enthusiasm if she wanted. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, of course I am.”

“Berkley!”

“Berkley? Wow….that’s…..Jesus Al, that is so cool.”

“What about Berkley?” Bette asked.

“Hold on, I’m going to put you on speaker phone so Bette can hear.”

“What about Berkley?” Bette asked a second time.

“I got in Bette! I got into Berkley!”

“Are you serious? That’s great Al. You and Shane will at least be pretty close to each other. Laney isn’t far from Berkley.”

“I know, she was so happy about it. What about you? Have you heard anything yet?”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for taking the time to leave a comment! Always a pleasure to read what you think.

CHAPTER 16

Tina looked from the cell phone that she was holding in the air, to Bette. Of course Bette knew something. The letter from Stanford was dated only three days ago. The question was, just what message it had contained. 

“I…no…no I haven’t.”

Tina looked down at the bed. She had hoped that once Bette was put on the spot, she would share what the letter was about. She was now convinced that the letter must have been bad news; that Bette hadn’t been accepted.

“Well, you will probably hear something pretty soon then.” 

“Maybe.”

“So, what are you two up to for today, and how long am I covering for you?”

Tina looked at the clock on Bette’s nightstand. “I’m going to go home in a couple of hours.” 

“You both sound good…so…things are good right?”

Bette and Tina both waited for the other to answer.

“Hello?”

“We’re here.” Bette answered for both of them.

“Um….okay.” Alice felt awkward. “Okay, well we are going to run in and get an ice cream. I guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay.” Tina rubbed the face of the phone with the corner of the sheet. “I’ll call you later.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Bette said just before Tina flipped the phone shut.

Tina placed the phone on the night stand and laid back against the pillow. Bette remained on her side, ready to spoon Tina again, if she moved into position. However, Tina hadn’t budged.

“Why did you lie?” Tina surprised herself at how quickly she verbalized that same question, that had been playing in her head since Bette answered Alice.

For a moment, Bette was silent. “What do you mean?”

Tina turned her head to look at Bette. “You know what I mean.”

“No, so why don’t you explain?”

“Sure, I’ll explain. Last night when you were out cold, I went downstairs to get a glass of water. I spilled water on some mail. When I went to pat it dry, I seen a letter from Stanford.”

“Did you read it?” Bette asked with a tone that reflected some annoyance.

“No I did not. It wasn’t my place to, but I do think it was your place to tell me you had received something from the school, good or bad.”

Bette winced from the words of truth that were cast her way.

“Tee, I didn’t say anything because …the timing just wasn’t right. Everything was crashing down on us in terms of your Dad.”

“That doesn’t justify hiding it Bette.”

“Well you know what Tee? You applying to schools outside of California and not telling me about it until you got accepted, just so you spared me the concern the entire time, doesn’t justify you hiding that either.”

Tina knew Bette volleyed back with a valid statement. “You’re right.”

“What?”

“I said you’re right.”

Bette was taken back at how easy that admission surfaced.

“Um….can you possibly repeat that just one more time.”

“Don’t push it,” Tina warned with an arched brow and a sly smile.

Within a few minutes, both girls were back in one another’s arms again. 

“So…what did the letter say?”

“I’ve been accepted.”

“Awww Bette, that’s wonderful baby. I know you really hoped for Stanford.”

What Bette really hoped for, was she and Tina “together” at Stanford. 

“Yeah but, Stanford can wait.” Bette looked over at Tina with a hungry expression before sliding her naked body back on top of her lover’s once again.

**************  
LATER

Kit stopped at the Planet to get a hot drink -before heading home. When she approached the counter, Jenny was the first available to wait on her.

“Hi Kit, what can I get ya?”

“I’ll have a medium Cafecito.”

Jenny smirked at Kit. “I didn’t think Bette drank anything stronger than a Hot Chocolate.”

“Bette? No, this is for me.”

“Oh. I just thought after last night, it was for her.”

Kit was rather perplexed. “Um…what about last night?”

Jenny turned her back to Kit as she started making her beverage.

“From what I heard, she was pretty trashed.”

“She was?”

“Yep”

“And you know this how?”

“Shane and I were at Point Rock. She was there.”

The thought of Shane and Jenny was a little repulsive. Hell, the thought of Jenny with anyone was enough to cause a bit of stomach upset. 

“Was Tina there with Bette?”

“Tina…yeah, right. When is your sister going to smarten up? That girl causes your poor sister more stress than what it’s worth. She needs to date a nice girl like me who can make her real happy. You should work on that for me Kit. Talk to her, ya know?”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that Jenny.”

Jenny handed Kit her drink. “That will be $3.75 please.”

Kit fumbled with her wallet. “So, why was she trashed? What the hell was she drinking? More important, who was driving?”

“Whoa, too many questions. I have no answer to any of them. She was in the driver’s seat when I saw her. Tina had pulled in just as I was leaving.”

“Tina? Tina doesn’t have her own car.”

“I know, so lame. She was driving Shane’s.”

“Uh huh.” 

Kit knew she wasn’t going to get too far with Jenny, so she took her change, placed it in her wallet, grabbed her drink and headed for home.

*************  
BETTE’S

“Jesus, you’re an animal!” Tina exclaimed, winded from another romp with her lover. “I love you so much, you know that?”

“I do.” Bette said with a proud smile on her face. “But I love you more.”

“Nope…not possible.”

*****  
“Bette…Hey Bette you home?”

*****

“SHIT! What the fuck is she doing home so early?” Bette stammered while quickly grabbing at the stray clothes which had been strewn on the floor the previous night.

“Jesus, talk about people having radar on every time we get naked!” Tina complained. “Hey that’s my shirt…here…here.”

The girls frantically threw their clothes on, double checking that they were presentable before Bette quickly opened the bedroom door just as Kit had started to ascend the stairs.

“Hey baby girl. Hi Tina.”

Tina closed the bedroom door behind them. The bed was undone, and if Kit had even an ounce of suspicion, they didn’t need to add anything more to it by having her see the bed undone and disheveled. 

“Hey Kit, you’re home earlier than normal.”

“Hi Kit,” Tina said as she discretely pulled the back of Bette’s t-shirt down over her jeans. 

“Yeah, I had to make sure I brought my car to the garage before it closed today. I needed to have them check something. Isn’t that Shane’s car outside?”

“She let me use it.” Tina was hoping Kit wouldn’t continue to ask anymore questions.

“I’m kind of hungry, do you want something Tee?” Bette asked as she walked past Kit towards the stairway. “I think we have some cinnamon pop tarts.”

Tina started to follow Bette down the stairs, when Kit turned around. “Bette…I bumped into Jenny at the Planet. She said she saw you at Point Rock yesterday afternoon.”

Bette stopped in the middle of the stairway and looked back towards Kit. “Yeah, so.”

“Was everything okay?”

“Sure.” Bette continued down the stairs.

Kit wasn’t convinced, but she wasn’t about to embarrass Bette by pursuing the conversation any further while Tina was present. She and Bette would have the rest of the weekend before their parents returned, and she hoped to get her to open up at some point during that time.

************  
LATER

Bette and Tina were sitting outside on the steps talking. Tina was getting ready to leave soon.

“I wish I could hang out longer, but my parents will begin to wonder why I haven’t been home at all.”

“Not to mention Shane is probably looking to get her wheels back.” Bette added. “This morning was so meaningful to me Tina.” Bette placed her hand on Tina’s wrist, and started to play with the bracelet she had given her last Christmas.

“It was pretty...” Tina looked over at the screen door. “….pretty amazing to be honest.”

“Was this always this big on you?” Bette asked, playing with that piece of jewelry.

Tina looked down at her wrist. “Yeah. You don’t remember?”

“I don’t remember it having that much extra room.”

“I liked that it did. I remember when you gave me the present. I was bugging you all week, asking what you bought me for Christmas. Remember?”

“Of course I do. I didn’t think you were going to stop texting me long enough to even get any sleep.”

“I wish we would have at least had one Christmas together.”

Bette looked at Tina a little confused. “But we did…we have had a few.”

“No, I mean together. You know, where we would wake up in the same bed Christmas morning. Maybe put a few Christmas songs on and make some apple cider, then leisurely take our time sitting by the tree…..a fire going….capturing all the intricacies of the holiday together.”

Bette frowned, for she too wish they had been able to experience that. Tina continued….

“….can you imagine if we had kids added to that scene Bette? I mean, I can just see your excitement when they ran downstairs to us…it would be….” Tina stopped when she saw Bette shaking her head.

“Don’t….please…don’t go there.” 

Tina wasn’t privy to the thoughts that passed through Bette’s mind only a few hours earlier when they were making love. She knew when she had her face close to Tina’s belly, she wasn’t going to feel that which she desired so much, a baby growing inside of the woman she loved dearly. She had already started to painfully surrender those hopes and that vision as soon as she realized that they would be going in separate directions.

“I’m sorry,” Tina uttered in a low voice. “I shouldn’t have gone there. This takes some getting use to…I mean, being in a relationship with no future.”

The impact of that last statement hit Tina hard, but Bette harder. That was the honest and painful truth. They were a couple with no future…no mutual goals…no dreams. A couple with both a time limit, and as much as they could try to deny it, an emotional limit as well.

“This sucks!” Bette said as she stood from the step. “I’m struggling so much with feeling like I want ‘us’ for the next three months, and then I find myself wondering if we are doing more damage to ourselves staying together with…with as you said, no dreams…no goals…no future…nothing!”

Tina let Bette air her frustration. Her frustrations and feelings were valid, and in expressing them rather than keeping them in, it was probably the best thing that could be happening, for both of them. Meanwhile, Kit was in the kitchen making herself a sandwich, and listening to what had turned into a fairly emotional conversation.

“Look at tonight! I mean, we are suppose to be a couple and it is a Saturday night Tina. We should be together doing something.”

Tina was feeling more and more responsible for them not spending that time together. At the same time, she felt she and Bette had an opportunity just the night before, but they couldn’t enjoy it because Bette had gotten too trashed. 

“Bette, last night was a weekend night too. But, we both know what that ended up being about.”

“Oh so it’s my fault now?”

“I’m not saying that, but you seem to be directing all the shit towards me. I’m sorry we can’t have tonight Bette. Hell, I never said we couldn’t. I just need to get home and get a feel for the situation. I might be able to come up with something in terms of my parents, but I won’t know for sure until I go home.”

“Yeah? And how much do you want to bet we won’t be getting together?”

“Bette, we had last night, and if you weren’t so damn trashed we would have been able to do something. It’s not all my fault that last night was about holding a bucket for you to hurl in, followed by sleep.”

Bette knew it wasn’t all Tina’s fault. She knew in her heart, that if Tina could spend Saturday evening doing something together, that would be what she would want. She knew this, and that logical side was very present as she sorted that out. However, her emotional and passionate side was dominating things at the moment.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you continue to enjoy this journey.

CHAPTER 17

Bette sat back down next to Tina. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Baby I don’t either…not at all.”

Tina reached over and placed her hand on top of Bette’s, and squeezed it hard, reaffirming her message. She leaned her head against Bette’s shoulder as they both sat there in silence, each wondering how the next three months were going to play out. 

“I’m sorry that I hadn’t told you about the other schools when I applied. I know that’s bothering you. At the time, I really thought that if I shared that, I would be jumping the gun a bit and causing a huge panic, especially where I wasn’t accepted yet. I honestly didn’t mean to make it seem like I was being deceitful or holding something back from you.”

“I know. I understand what you were thinking. I’m in a bitchy mood right now, that’s all.”

Tina gripped Bette’s arm tight as she closed her eyes, trying to memorize everything about the woman she loves most.

“I need to go.” Tina said, lifting her head from Bette’s shoulder. “I’ll get in touch with you when I can. I’ll try to get online by 6pm or so.”

Bette and Tina both stood up and hugged each other. Their solid embrace, a symbol of how strong and firm their love for one another had always been.

“I love you.” Bette whispered by Tina’s ear.

“I love you too.”

Bette watched Tina get into Shane’s car. She smiled as Tina peered through the windshield window and waved to her. As she watched Tina back out of the driveway, she couldn’t help but feel empty and alone. She opened the screen door and went back into the house.

“Do you want a sandwich?” Kit asked, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

“No, I’m not hungry.” Bette replied. Her eyes soon found the bottle of Tequila right aside of Kit on the counter.

Kit was quite aware of the bottle she had found. Without looking at it again, she took a bite of her sandwich and stared at Bette.

“What?” Bette asked a bit defensively, as her arms crossed.

“Why were you drunk last night?” Kit asked just before popping the last piece of sandwich in her mouth. 

“Who said I was drunk?”

Kit arched a brow. “Don’t. I know you were. I would like to know why.”

Kit’s firm tone, was an indication that somehow she knew.

“I’ll tell you why, if you tell me how you knew.”

“I overheard you…outside.”

Bette was already a bit annoyed over her relationship, and who to take it out on, but those closest to her right?

“You eavesdropped?!”

“No…at least not intentionally.”

“Bullshit” Bette’s face grew stiff.

“Bette. I didn’t eavesdrop. The only thing separating you both from me was the damn screen door.”

“You didn’t have to listen. You could have just gone into the other room.”

“Why? Why should I do that? I’m in the kitchen making myself some lunch. Why the hell should I have to go into another room?”

“You could have just closed the door. You invaded my privacy.”

“No I did not. Stop trying to make this about me. I asked you why you were drinking.”

Bette was pissed off. Her anger was misdirected, and whether or not she realized it, she didn’t care very much at the moment. She needed to release the adrenalin that had built up. Normally, she would just go for a run. However, the massive headache she had from the hangover wasn’t going to allow that for sure.

“It’s none of your business.” 

“I think it is. I think that it is going to be Mom and Dad’s business when they realize their bottle of Tequila is practically gone.”

“They hardly drink.”

“Oh, so you think they will just fail to remember they had a full bottle? Come on Bette, you know better than that.”

“Just buy one before they get back home.” 

Kit wrinkled her brows. Her sister was appearing very angry and hard. They usually shared a rather open relationship. Today however, Bette seemed like a stranger before her.

“Baby girl, this isn’t you. Just talk to me. What I could gather, is you and Tina might be splitting. Is that what this is about?”

The last thing Bette wanted, was to talk about that again. She would much rather put it in the back of her head, WAY in the back.

“I’m going to my room. I’m tired and I am going to take a nap.”

Kit knew her sister well enough to know that she could push all she wanted right now, but Bette wasn’t going to budge. She could be one stubborn, pig-headed young lady. When she closed down, there wasn’t anything that was going to penetrate that wall. 

“Okay. Just remember, if you want to talk, I am here.”

After watching her sister leave the kitchen for her bedroom, she jotted down the name and size of the bottle she was going to replace, on a piece of paper, then grabbed her car keys and headed to the liquor store.

********  
TINA’S

Shane pulled into Tina’s driveway. Her father was outside trimming the shrubs when they pulled in. He glanced over, but didn’t bother to give any real acknowledgement.

“I’m sure he isn’t too happy about me taking you home,” Shane said as she watched Tina’s father carefully manicure the greens.

“He is a bigot Shane. It doesn’t matter if he likes you taking me home. If he doesn’t want that, he can buy me a damn car and I can drive myself.”

“I hope things chill out with you and Bette. It seems this has hit you both pretty hard.”

“Thanks. I hope we just find that groove we need to be in, ya know?”

“I’m sure you will Tina.”

“Thanks a lot for the ride. Can you call Alice and tell her that the mission is complete?”

Shane chuckled. “No problem. Call me if you need anything okay?”

“I will. Thanks Shaney.”

Tina opened the car door and stood in the driveway. She waited for Shane to back out, and then waved to her as she went on her way. She turned towards the back door when her father called out.

“Tina.”

Tina rolled her eyes and walked to the front of the house. “Yes?”

“Your mother will be taking you to your appointment tomorrow afternoon. Be sure you are ready to go when she comes home.”

Tina folded her arms. “I don’t want to go Dad.”

“This isn’t negotiable Tina. You need help. You weren’t born this way.”

“And how do you know that Dad? How can you possibly know if I was born this way or not?”

“It is not a normal way of life. You are choosing this life to defy us, to rebel against us. You need someone to set you on the right path.”

“You believe that? You really believe I am “choosing” a life that is filled with so much hate, injustice, and bigotry!?”

“Yes, I do. I don’t know what your Mother and I ever did, but offer you an exceptionally fine life. Who knows, maybe you had too much. Maybe we spoiled you. I don’t know, but I want this fixed. I won’t have this in my family.”

Tina shook her head as the tears followed. “You are a bigot!”

Jerry’s jaw clenched. “What did you call me?”

“You heard me, you’re a bigot. You’re a mean, hateful human being.” 

Tina turned and ran down the driveway, up the back stairs and into the house. She slammed the door behind her, startling her mother who had just pulled the baked ham from the oven. Before Catherine could intervene, Jerry had come into the back door, his face twisted, the few long strands of hair that helped cover his top were dangling in his face.

“You must talk to that girl Catherine. Do you know what she called me?”

“Jerry, calm down. Remember, your blood pressure dear.”

“The hell with my blood pressure! That young lady called me a bigot!”

Catherine remained silent.

“Did you hear me?!” Jerry bellowed.

“Yes, I did. You don’t have to yell either, I’m only a few feet from you.”

“She then proceeded to tell me that I was a mean and hateful person.”

Catherine wiped her hands on her apron. “Jerry, she is upset. School is on the horizon, there are changes happening in her life…..not to mention she is being forced to break up with the person she cares for …very much.”

“Are you justifying her behavior?”

“No, I’m not. I’m trying to just understand it a little bit.”

“There isn’t a thing to understand Catherine.” Jerry raised his fist and slammed it down on the counter. “ I want this fixed dammit!” 

Before Catherine could say a word, Jerry was out the back door.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

*************  
THAT NIGHT

Catherine knocked on Tina’s bedroom door. There was no response, therefore a second round of knocks followed.

“Come in.” 

Tina was laying on the bed with her headphones on when Catherine came in and sat down on the bed.

“You didn’t eat very much tonight.”

“I wasn’t hungry.” Tina replied, removing the headphones. “the ham was good Mom, really.”

“Thank you.” Catherine pushed a strand from Tina’s face, to behind her ear. “Tina, your father…he’s extremely old fashioned. He can be very set in his ways, his beliefs…”

Tina interrupted. “He’s a hateful, old, bigoted man Mom.”

“Tina, I don’t like you speaking about your father that way.”

“But it’s true.”

“It may be your opinion, and you are certainly entitled to it. However, he is your father and you need to show respect.”

“He doesn’t show me respect when he says that I need to be ‘fixed,’ and things like that.” Tina looked away from her mother and to the ceiling. “I don’t like the idea of having to see this therapist.”

“Tina, seeing a therapist isn’t always such a bad thing. You might find it helpful to talk about things…perhaps there might be some things you don’t feel comfortable talking to your father or I about.”

“I don’t need to talk to a stranger Mom. I have friends too ya know.”

“I know you do dear. But there are things…” Catherine looked down at her apron. Her eyes filled up a little bit. “….there are things that maybe you should be discussing with her. Things about the past…about ...”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Tina knew exactly what her mother was alluding to. “That was a long time ago, and the only reason I give it any thought is because you can’t let it go.”

Catherine was surprised. “We haven’t discussed it very much at all. What do you mean by that?”

“I’ve heard you talking on the phone with Auntie Pam about it. That the reason I don’t date boys was because of what happened to me when I was younger.”

“You heard that?”

“Yes Mom, I did, and it isn’t true.”

“Well honey, I think perhaps it might be that you are scared to date them.”

Tina rolled her eyes before grabbing the pillow and placing it over her face.

“Don’t do that, you’ll suffocate.”

“Spare me Mom.”

“Please Tina, just think about talking to her about that.” Catherine stood up from the bed and walked to the bedroom door. She looked back at Tina before exiting and closing the door behind her.

*********  
BETTE’S

“Bette?” Kit called to Bette as she walked towards her bedroom. “Bette?”

Kit found Bette’s bedroom door opened, her sister not in the room. As she proceeded further down the hall, the door to the attic was cracked open. Kit quietly proceeded up the stairs, where she found her sister standing at the easel painting.

“Hey baby girl. Did you sleep at all?”

“A little,” Bette said, not taking her eyes off the canvas which she was bringing life to. 

“I replaced the bottle of tequila.”

Bette stopped the brush in mid-air. “you did?” 

“Yes. As far as I’m concerned, Mom and Dad don’t need to know about it.” This caused Bette to smile. “However, that is on one condition.”

“I should have known,” Bette sighed. “What is the condition?”

“That you never do something so outrageous and dangerous like that again. You were lucky your friends were right on it. I haven’t a doubt in my mind that you would have probably started that car up eventually, and left.”

“I don’t drink and drive.” 

“Yeah…that’s what everyone says. However, if you couldn’t get a hold of any of your friends, or weren’t in any condition to even think responsibly because of the alcohol, I’m not sure that you and I would be having this conversation today.”

“Kit, you panic too much.”

“No, I don’t. I just don’t like you playing Russian roulette with your life Bette. I covered for you this time, but don’t make me regret doing so…please.”

Kit stepped behind the easel and admired the piece Bette was working on.

“What is this one called?”

“Fever.”

Kit scanned the canvas. “It’s deep…moving. I know when you paint, there is meaning inside of the images. What do you see when you look at that?.”

Bette remained quiet as she added another warm color, highlighting the edges. “It’s about passion…heat…excitement…pleasure…” Bette’s voice faded as each brush stroke she made, took over both her senses and attention.

Kit sat down on top of an old chest that belonged to their grandfather. 

“Talk to me Bette. What’s been happening?”

Bette looked over at Kit, then back to the canvas. After transferring a little more paint from the palette to the canvas, she lay the palette and brush down, and took hold of an old chair from the corner and brought it near Kit. She straddled it backwards and started to pick at some of the paint on her fingers.

“Tina is going to school on the East Coast. We won’t be together once we start college.”

“I thought that you said she was just applying in California?”

“I thought so too. Her father forced her to apply to the other schools saying they offered much more opportunity for her. He found out about us, and freaked out. He told her he didn’t want her to be with me anymore and we were not to talk by phone, or see one another.”

Kit was surprised. The pain was so evident in Bette’s face. “I’m sorry Bette. He sounds like a real prick.”

“He is a real prick. Nothing seems to be working out how we had planned Kit. It sucks…so bad.”

“I know it does baby girl. How is Tina feeling about it all?”

“She’s upset. She’s angry.”

“Has she tried talking to her father?”

“She has, but he won’t budge Kit. I think now that he knows about her sexuality, his determination to keep her away from me and the group of friends she has is stronger than ever. He threatened to cut off financing her education if she doesn’t listen to him.”

“God damn bastard. Has she tried applying for scholarships, or looking into grants and stuff? I mean, there has to be a way she could tell him to stick it and go to Stanford where you will be.”

“The process takes a while Kit. There isn’t enough time left for the Fall Semester. It also would be hard to start college somewhere, and then a year later transfer. It’s…it’s just so fucking complicated.” Bette readjusted the bandana she had wrapped around the top of her head. “So…..we have three months at best, and then we go our separate ways.”

“I’m sorry Bette. I know how much you both care for one another.”

Bette placed her face in her hands and started to cry, which prompted Kit to go to her and embrace her emotional sister. “Shhh…it will get better. Young love doesn’t usually last a lifetime baby girl. I mean, most people always remember the relationships they shared in school, while they were young. However, I hate to burst your bubble, but few last into college, and even fewer after college. I think what you and Tina had was very special, and you should both do what you can to at least remain friends. You love one another for a reason right?”

Bette nodded as the back of her hands wiped the tears from her face.

“…Okay, then…you hold onto that bond that unites you and keeps you close in friendship. Don’t just discard it because it didn’t end up being the most ideal situation okay?”

“It’s just hard…so hard.” 

“I know it is. Love isn’t always in a neat little box Bette. It is complex, passionate, challenging, unpredictable…it’s…it can be amazing.”

“I just don’t understand it. Why couldn’t she just tell him to go to hell and go to a Community College at first. She would have gotten student loans at least.”

“Bette…that isn’t fair. You wouldn’t have wanted to make that kind of change would you have?”

Bette knew she wouldn’t have wanted to do that either. 

“No…I wouldn’t. I always thought love conquered all Kit. I loved in a way that went deep. I guess I was wrong…I guess it conquers all when you both want it to. When only one half wants it…it can’t be done.”

Kit’s heart was breaking as she saw her sister’s pain surface even further, through the words she voiced.

“Awwww Bette, I wouldn’t say that. I think…no correction, I’m rather sure that Tina loves you. Things are just hard right now. Maybe one day…right? I mean, it’s not completely out of the question that you both could hook up again. You get out of college, you are older….you get a place one day, away from family and pressures. Suddenly, you both start to date, and who knows what might happen.”

Bette looked at Kit like she was crazy.

“I hate to pop your bubble, but that isn’t going to happen.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know.” Bette returned to the palette and canvas.

“Never say never Bette. You can both try to deny the love you shared in the past, but you may find that no matter where your lives took you, there was no other love than that which you shared at this time in your life.”

“I’m not so sure anymore,” Bette said in a defeated way. “I think I thought that at one time. Now…it’s not as strong.”

“Don’t be so sure about that.”

Bette looked over at Kit, pausing before the brush stroked the canvas. “Kit, you can’t possibly know that what we shared was something we could never have with someone else…someone new…many years from now.”

Kit stood up a moment and went to Bette. She placed her hand on her shoulder. “Girl, you forget so easily. I’ll never, and I mean NEVER forget that Friday night you came home late…REALLY late. It was the first time you and Tina had sex…” 

Bette corrected Kit right away. “…made love.”

Kit smiled. “I’m sorry…made love. And there…right there, that’s another thing. But I’ll get back to that. When you came home Bette, you had this look on your face I have never seen before. It was different than what I was use to seeing after you went to bed with someone. You use to be so cocky, so…primitive in a strange way. You were so removed from the person. There wasn’t an emotional thing about it. It use to piss me off to be honest.”

“What did?”

“Your callous attitude towards intimacy. I worried about you. I mean, I know that being young is meant to be a time where you don’t really settle down with one person. You go and sow your oats. However, you hadn’t really had a “relationship” until you had gotten involved with Tina. You were so different Bette. It was cute. You courted her. Today you don’t see much of that. I knew then you had something special between you both. Hell I remember when she had first come to the school. You did all you could to show her around, introduce her to your friends. There was a spark from the moment you saw her…am I right or wrong?”

Bette didn’t hesitate at all. “You’re right. There was definitely a spark. She was so damn hot in that little number she was wearing that day.”

Kit chuckled. “I know it went beyond ‘the little number’ Bette. You knew from the start that this was going to be different, or you wouldn’t have taken the time to really get to know her, date her, and ultimately …make love to her. You came home that night, and…well there was something in your eyes. Something I have never seen in your eyes before. You shared with me, exactly what you felt after being with her intimately, and you have NEVER shared the depth of that experience ever before. The studette came off the market that day, and has never had a desire to be with anyone else.”

Bette reflected as she painted. She tried to ignore reminiscing in such an emotional way. She knew she had to prepare to take that step back in three months. The last thing she wanted to do was remember all the intricacies of their love.

“It can be replaced.” Bette said coldly.

“It? Tina? Tina is an “it” now?” 

“You know what I mean….that feeling. I’ll find someone else, and so won’t she.”

“…Oh…and…you will both feel as fulfilled right? I don’t think so. I just don’t think that you can find or replace your soulmate.”

The term itself caused Bette to flush with heat. “I don’t believe in that to be honest.”

Kit raised a brow. “You don’t? Really?”

“No….I don’t. I mean, just think about how many people are on the planet. Do you really think that only one person is meant for someone Kit?” Before Kit could answer, Bette continued. “Seriously…look at the old people that have been married forever, and then one dies. The person left behind, often times finds another companion. How could that be? I mean, if they loved the person that died, then why try to replace them? Reason is, the whole soulmate thing is a farce…a fantasy.”

“I can’t say I agree with you Bette.”

“Yeah well…I hope you aren’t waiting to find one Kit. If you think like that it could take you forever.”

“Maybe…but, I think I would rather wait forever for Mr. Right, than just accept someone that I make fit my life who isn’t really the one who compliments my existence.”

It was clear, Bette had begun putting some walls up to protect herself. There wasn’t a thing changing about August. She and Tina would be splitting, and it was much easier to justify all the reasons why it was best it happened that way, than to sit and reminisce on their love and accept that it was irreplaceable.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

*********  
MONDAY

Bette and Tina passed by one another during different periods in the school day. It was more than awkward, as they continued to try to hide their relationship from Jarrod, and others that could make things difficult. 

“Psssst.” Tina whispered to Bette as she started past the girl’s restroom.

“What are you doing?” 

“Come in here.” Tina let the first door close slowly as she opened the interior door. 

Bette pushed the first and second door open announcing “it’s okay” to the potential smokers inside. Once inside, there wasn’t anyone in there but she and Tina.

“God I missed you.” Tina said before placing her hands on both sides of Bette’s face and pulling into a deep and hard kiss.

Bette was tentative at first. Her tongue remained in her mouth, her lips more rigid than usual. However, whether or not she wanted it to happen, her body was already responding to Tina’s touch. “I…” Bette tried to offer that she missed Tina to, but the aggressive kisses were not going to permit conversation.

Tina searched Bette’s body through the fabric of the t-shirt. She didn’t hesitate to cup her breast with her hand, as her tongue desperately and finally snaked with Bette’s.

This heated moment was suddenly shortened by the sound of the first door opening, followed by another verbal okay from a student. They broke contact immediately, trying to look as casual as possible considering how turned on they had both gotten. They made a bit of small talk, hoping the girl would leave so they could resume something before the bell rang. Instead, she lit up a cigarette, until the bell sounded.

“Dammit!” Bette said in frustration. She turned for the bathroom door and swung it open hard, then pulled the next door open until she was out into the hallway that had now filled with students. Tina was right behind her.

“Hey…wait up.”

Bette continued her long strides.

“Bette…stop.” Tina ran up in front of Bette and put her hand out. “Wait…what are you doing?”

“We have to go to class.”

“I know…I just.” Tina put her hand through her hair. “I just…”

Bette waited. “You just what?” Bette asked coldly.

Tina closed her eyes and looked to the ceiling. “Please don’t do this. I thought we were going to try to make the best of it for the next three months.”

Bette was closing down, in a big way. Her words and body language wasn’t preventing her frustration from surfacing. In fact, it was promoting its resurrection.

“We are.”

“Really? Is this what we have to look forward to?”

“No shit Tina. Do you think I enjoy getting all turned on, only to have you pull back!” Bette shot back, louder than what Tina felt comfortable with.

Tina looked around cautiously. Hoping no one heard Bette. She leaned in closer to her. “Look, I don’t like this at all. Okay? I know that deep in your heart, you know that Bette. I hate this as a matter of fact. I had a crummy weekend, not that you would know. You didn’t answer any of my IM’s yesterday, nor my phone call.”

“I was busy.” Bette offered blankly.

“You were busy? You were home! Alice said you were online messaging her. I let it go, because I know you like to retreat when you feel hurt and upset…not that I know what the hell I did to you. We spoke briefly online Saturday night. I told you I would have loved to spend Saturday night with you, I just couldn’t come up with anything convincing enough to tell the parents. I’m trying here Bette.”

“I’m just so frustrated Tina…and that…what just happened in the girls room! How do we go from touching, getting aroused and then stopping? How do we take care of things when that happens? I love you, and I can’t help that when you touch me, or I touch you that I need more.” Bette looked into Tina’s eyes. “I NEED more.”

Tina’s crystal blue eyes, locked with Bette’s brown dove like eyes. There were no words spoken for a few minutes as the girls now chose to speak in a different language, one that only they seemed able to do. Tina was the first to break the silence.

“Baby I want that too. Do you not think that I want what we shared the other night all the time? If I could, I would be in bed with you every single night making love.”

Tina could see that Bette’s eyes were the window to her soul. They always had been. They yearned for her so much at that moment. While they continued both a verbal and nonverbal dialogue, the halls began to thin, as students reported to the last class of the day. 

“Do you know how I felt last night when you didn’t want to talk to me? I felt discarded…unimportant. I tried your cell phone, but apparently you turned it off because it went directly to voicemail.”

“Why would I keep it on Tina? You already said your Dad looks at the bill.”

“Well I couldn’t just ‘not’ talk to you Bette. I couldn’t go to bed not having spoken to you by phone or on the IM. Don’t you get it? When you shut that phone off, and you failed to be online, your message was strong and hurtful. You were pushing me away.”

Bette looked down at the floor, startled only by the janitor closing the storage room door for the afternoon. As he struggled with the lock, Bette and Tina continued.

“I’m not pushing you away.”

“No? Who were you shutting out when you shut the phone off Bette?”

Bette remained silent. It was true. Following Kit’s discussion on Saturday, she had IM’d with Tina for a brief time Saturday night, but Sunday offered more reflection, and Bette had withdrawn. She was putting limitations on the interaction, at least that is what she did on that Sunday.

“Do you know how insignificant that one act caused me to feel?”

“I didn’t mean for it to come across that way.”

Tina wasn’t convinced. “Why don’t you tell me then what you meant for it to come across as? Because see, where I’m standing Bette, I saw that as something personal.”

Bette couldn’t answer honestly. It was personal, and she was shutting Tina out. Perhaps she didn’t expect her to feel “unimportant,” but the truth was, she was choosing to shut the phone off so she could just stay in her world.

“I…Tee…I didn’t mean for you to be hurt by it. I just…well I was…” Bette was lost for words. She didn’t feel she could properly explain without hurting Tina further. “I’m sorry.”

Tina looked at Bette. There was so much hurt between them. “I don’t want to feel unimportant to you. It’s a real sucky feeling, and I’m not use to that…between us.”

“I know.”

“I love you so much Bette. If you think any of this is easy on me it isn’t. I hardly slept last night, because I felt so isolated and lonely. All I kept thinking about was Saturday morning and what we shared.”

“Me too.” Bette said softly. “That was so hot…before in the bathroom.”

“The attraction to you is stronger than anything I have ever felt. I cannot imagine us separating in September. When I even bring myself to think of it, I feel like I’m choking…suffocating. I just want now. I want to live in this moment because I know what the future has in store for us.”

Bette remained silent. Her demeanor was much more softer. Tina had such an amazing pull on her emotions. She could control them so easily. Bette could be all tuned up one minute, and Tina had this incredibly insightful ability to know exactly what approach needed to gain control of the moment, and bring Bette into a state of peace. It didn’t work all the time, but many times it was a complete success.

“We probably should get to class. Even though…I wish neither of our parents were home.” Bette said, revealing the remnants of need that her words hinted at.

The girls were once again startled by the janitor’s inability to get the storage door to lock. He waved a disgruntled hand at it, before walking away. Bette and Tina looked back at one another, Tina offering a raised brow.

“Shame he can’t get that to lock.”

“Uh huh”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I might be.”

“Does it involve a private, dark place?” Tina smirked.

Bette teased. “It could.”

Tina grabbed Bette’s two fingers as she led the way to the closet.

Bette mumbled as they entered. “well…I guess we are use to hiding in the closet anyway.”

“Will it lock?” Tina asked before bumping into the mop bucket. “Dammit!”

“I got it. The old goat must have been using the wrong key.” Bette turned and held onto the metal shelving. “God it smells in here.”

“Shut up and make love to me.” Tina demanded as her hands searched the dark for Bette’s body.

************  
CLASS

Dana looked over at Alice who shrugged. They were both wondering why the two seats in their Chemistry class remained empty. Alice texted Bette.

Hey where r u?

She sent the text and then texted Dana.

I sent a text 2 B

Dana reached in her jean pocket and removed the vibrating phone. She looked over at Alice and gave her a nod.

*************  
CLOSET

Bette’s back was against the metal shelf. Her bare skin was cooled by the cold edge. If there was discomfort, she certainly wasn’t feeling it. In fact, the only thing she was feeling at that moment, was Tina lowering her jeans, followed by her thong. She waited in want for her lover, who was on her knees, ready to please the woman she loved so very much. Her hands searched the blonde’s silky head of hair as she waited to feel her mouth reacquaint itself with the most intimate part of her body. Tina wasted no time separating Bette’s lips. 

“Please…” Bette whispered, followed by a small groan as she felt Tina’s tongue glide over her clit.

She pushed her head back against something plastic, perhaps a bottle of cleaner. She didn’t think too much anymore about where she was, for she was filled with ecstasy and promise of fulfillment. With each surge of adrenalin she fed off of, her body responded in both grace and volume to what Tina was doing. There was something even hotter and spicier about being naughty in the school facility itself. Bette pulled Tina into her even further as she felt her legs begin to weaken in response to her lovers mouth and fingers. She tried so very hard to keep her moans at bay. No matter how hard she tried however, some managed to escape. She placed her forearm over her mouth as she bit lightly on her own skin, hoping to both muffle the emissions, as well as focus. The last thing either of them needed was to get bagged….IN the closet no less.

**********  
CLASS 

Dana texted Alice.

??

Alice typed back.

Never wrote back

Dana and Alice were both concerned. They had seen how distant Bette and Tina both appeared, during the morning classes, and only learned that things were a bit “off” between them at lunch, when Tina joined the girls. Bette, instead chose to sit in her car and listen to some tunes on the radio rather than join them. Bette wasn’t the type to find a lot of solace in sharing her problems with her friends. She was one who chose self preservation, knowing that if you depended only on ones self, you didn’t risk much at all. If there was any disappointment, then it would be in herself and not as a result of someone else. Tina had been one of the few that Bette let so far into her world. The girls knew when to push, and when to retreat when it came to trying to get Bette to open up and share.

*********  
CLOSET

Tina’s back was now against the unforgiving metal rack as Bette’s fingers delved in and out of her center.

Tina’s eyelids closed as she put her head into Bette’s shoulder, her mouth open as the sheer volume of sensation flooded her body. The onslaught of satisfying manipulation had caused nerve endings throughout her body to come alive as the stimulation surged throughout her body.

“..uhh….sh-shit…I….I’m…oh god…”

Bette curled her fingers inside of Tina as her thumb gracefully grazed over her clit, using just the right pressure and rhythm. Her mouth, was consuming Tina’s nipple as her tongue playfully brought that swollen nub to a satisfying extension. Bette was being quite intrusive, and Tina wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“….I….I’m….gonna…cu….cum…” Tina whispered into Bette’s shoulder, her teeth beginning to graze Bette’s skin as she tried to contain the volume of her expressions. Her legs weakened as her body tired itself from the internal war it was waging towards the impending orgasm that was about to rip through her well shaped figure. “…..go..gon…gonna…god….ba…baby…so..so…..close…..ohh Beeette…” Tina wailed into Bette’s shoulder. It was apparent that the skin offered no barrier like a pillow certainly would have.

Tina was breathing heavy as her center continued to throb, following this amazing orgasm. She had read in a recent magazine, that women who have sex standing up, can have some of the strongest orgasms ever, particularly if they are being satisfied orally. She hadn’t been afforded the chance to try that with Bette using her mouth, but at that moment, she could attest to the fact that it had been one rather strong and gripping orgasm to say the least.

“Shit…that….was…fucking…amazing.”

“Shhh…don’t talk.” Bette said as she held Tina’s weak body against hers. She could feel the weight of Tina’s small frame requiring support. She knew Tina wasn’t strong enough at the moment to sustain herself on her own.

“Do you think anyone heard?”

“I doubt it.” Bette whispered.

“I love you so much baby.” Tina offered as she smiled at Bette. 

Their eyes had adjusted to the limited light the crevice at the bottom of the door allowed in. It was hard to be sure completely, but they felt the eyes of the other completely on their own.

“I love you too babe.”


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

*********  
LATER**

Tina walked out of the school and cringed at the sight of her mother’s car. She took a deep breath before opening the passenger door.

“Hi honey, how was school?”

“Fine.” Tina wasn’t going to offer much. After sharing an intimate moment with Bette, it made going to therapy even more difficult.

“I’m going to go to Bath and Bodywork’s and the shoe store while you are in with the therapist.”

Tina remained quiet, her arms folded in protest as her mother tried to continue to engage in conversation. Tina leaned her head back until it rested against the leather headrest. She closed her eyes, dreading this appointment more than anything she ever dreaded before. She had put the memories of that time in her life to rest, and was exceptionally uncomfortable with the thought of not only revisiting that time, but sharing it with a complete stranger. Her annoyance was interrupted by the vibration of her cell phone indicating she had a text message. She pulled the phone from her pocket and flipped the phone open.

> **Hey, its me. I luv u. I wish I was there w/u. Talk 2 u later.**

Tina couldn’t help but smile at Bette’s text. She too wished Bette was there with her. If she had to take this trip to the shrink, it would have helped to have her love there by her side. Bette was aware of what had happened to Tina when she was only 6 years old. She was the only person outside of her family, who had been privy to “the secret” and as a result, she was highly respectful of the boundaries that Tina had because of that violation. Tina allowed her thoughts to focus only on Bette for the remainder of the drive.

When Catherine and Tina arrived at the office, the waiting room had only two people. Both appeared to be middle aged people. ‘I don’t need to be here at my age’ Tina thought to herself. ‘I have plenty of time to get fucked up in the head when I get older.’  
As Tina’s thoughts sifted through her head, Catherine filled out the paperwork and handed the insurance card to the receptionist. Tina reached in her pocket and slid her phone out.

> **Get me outta here. This sucks. I love u babe.**

Tina hit the send button and slid the phone back in her pocket as she took a seat on one of the chairs. She felt so vulnerable, so much of a head case being in the waiting room with other people, who she was sure had more problems that she had. She was a well adjusted, honor roll student. There was absolutely no justification in her mind, as to why this was necessary. Her mother took a seat beside her, and began thumbing through the latest “Better Homes & Gardens” magazine, remaining quiet and reserved as they both waited.

Tina and Bette continued to send text messages back and forth until the door opened and Tina’s name was called.

“I’ll pick you up in an hour okay?” Tina’s Mom said softly.

“Sure.” Tina returned, before walking towards the door, then finally through it. She followed the woman into a rather small office. It wasn’t anything Tina had imagined in her mind. 

“Tina, I’m Holly. Why don’t you take a seat there and make yourself comfortable.”

Tina cautiously scanned the room. She felt herself feeling slightly claustrophobic, something she never felt before. Was it the room, or was it her thoughts which started to flow more freely? In any case, Tina wasn’t comfortable at all. 

Holly sat in a large, leather, high back chair. She took hold of a clipboard and started to make a few notes. Tina couldn’t imagine what Holly had to write already, for she hadn’t even said a word yet.

“Okay. So…Tina, I am going to be up front with you, as I believe that establishing an appropriate client-doctor relationship, is very important. I want you to know that what you say in here is confidential. If something occurs during therapy, where there is a concern that you may cause harm to yourself of someone else, then I am governed by California law to take the appropriate action necessary to get you the proper treatment. That treatment and process could then result in sharing your health record. Do you understand that?”

Tina nodded at first, then followed it with a soft. “Yes.”

“I’m here to help you Tina. I’m not here to judge you. I’m not here to tell you what you should do in terms of making decisions. I am here to simply evaluate certain things, offer some unbiased insight, and basically hand you a map. If you choose to follow that map that is up to you. I cannot make you do anything. The destination is the same either way. The journey there will depend on many factors, and your willingness to open yourself up and offer some dialogue. Therapy can be helpful, and it can be quite raw at different times. We delve into some areas of people’s pasts where some hurtful things have occurred.

Tina looked around the room, not making as much eye contact with Holly. She was avoiding, and it was showing in a big way.

“I have spoken to your father. As a matter of fact, we had a discussion this morning. I am aware that you are in a lesbian relationship with a young lady, and I am …”

Tina cut Holly off immediately. “I’m not changing who I am because of my father, don’t think you are going to make me straight, cause I’m not.” Tina was defiant, she was bold, and she was establishing her own boundaries right now. 

“Tina, my job is not to make you anything. My job is to engage you into some conversation. What you do with what is said here is completely up to you.”

“I hope you told my father that. He expects you to ‘fix me, did he tell you?”

“Your father did mention his concern about your girlfriend Bette. He was fairly forward about what he expected to come out of therapy, but as I explained to him, therapy is not meant to program people.”

“There isn’t anything wrong with me.” Tina defended herself. “I’m fine, I shouldn’t even be here.”

Holly crossed her legs and sat back. She was a fairly attractive middle aged woman with strawberry blonde hair, and alluring hazel eyes. Her approach was professional and direct.

“I think therapy is no different than those people that go for a massage. A massage relieves the physical body of toxins that build up over time. Sometimes we don’t even realize that they are building up. In any event, a monthly massage is like cleansing the body. If you look at therapy as having a similar effect on the mind, you may not consider it in such a negative way.”

“I am being forced to come here. There isn’t any other way of looking at it.”

Holly looked down at the clipboard on her lap before she continued.

“I think we can come to an agreement, that you have strong feelings for this girl Bette, and your father wants nothing of this sort of relationship in his family. Is that a safe statement?”

Tina nodded.

“I’m not here to make you feel any different about Bette.”

Tina looked at Holly with a level of suspicion. “You’re not? Then why am I here? Does my father know this?”

“Wow, a lot of questions for me I see? Well….first, you are here because you father is under some impression that homosexuality can be fixed. He looks at it as you walking down a road of rebellion or something, and that if you are set “straight,” no pun intended, that you will leave therapy a new person. I have been very clear that therapy does not change a person’s sexuality. That isn’t my job, and any therapist who claims that, is careless and serves an injustice to the client.”

Holly had grabbed Tina’s attention. She was surprised that the therapist was making it rather clear that she had no intentions of changing her sexuality.

“If he knows this, then why am I still here?”

Holly took a breath in, and exhaled it slowly. “Tina, more important than your sexuality, is the violation you endured as a child. Your father has some concern about this, and felt that your talking to someone might help you deal with that event.”

Tina felt her face flush. What happened to her as a child, remained buried. She never wanted to talk about it, and on the few occasions she did, like with Bette, she was brief and shared very little.

“I don’t…don’t want to talk about it.”

“I think it’s important to do so Tina. There are things that can carry into our adult lives if they are not dealt with, and sexual abuse is at the top.”

“My family chose to ignore it and just move on. I don’t know why the hell my father would even want to bring it up. It was decided that we would never talk about it…ever.”

“That’s not healthy. As long as it remains hidden, buried, and not discussed, the “secret” then remains.”

Tina shifted in her seat uncomfortably. There were questions she had. There were a lot of things going through her head she would like sorted. However, for years she was programmed never to discuss it. She sat opposite a complete stranger. If she couldn’t discuss it with her family, how would she be able to do so with an outsider?

“Tina…let me just ask you some things okay?”

Tina was reluctant. However, if Holly asked and she provided an answer, would she really be violating the pact of secrecy? She nodded in agreement.

“Good. First, have you ever had any problems sleeping?”

“No…not really.”

“Any anxiety or panic attacks?”

“No.”

“Do you have problems trusting people?”

Tina hesitated.

“Um…no..not really.”

“If you had to share something personal, who would you be more apt to share that with, a male or female?”

“Female definitely.”

Holly made a note each time Tina replied.

“Why would you choose a female?”

Tina hesitated a moment as she gave it more thought than when she had immediately answered the question itself. “Wellll…I just feel more comfortable with females. I guess I trust them more.”

When Tina said the word “trust” she realized that was a question that Holly had just asked her.

“Okay. Let me ask you this. How many boys have you dated before your relationship with Bette?”

“None.” Tina watched Holly scribble another note. “I just haven’t wanted to date them. I’ve been asked out a lot…I just don’t feel interested.”

Holly tilted her head as she played with the top of the pen, clicking it up and down as she thought about her next question. “Do you think you have made a conscientious decision then, NOT to date boys?”

“I don’t know…I guess so.”

“Do you find boys attractive?”

Tina didn’t want to answer this question. There were a few boys she felt were rather handsome, but she always had avoided allowing herself to feel “attracted” to them. She didn’t want to get close to them at all, and therefore she just ignored those feelings.

“What do you mean? In what way?”

“Well, do you look at a boy and think perhaps he is nice looking, has a nice personality, a nice smile? Is there anything about a boy that you find appealing?”

Tina looked down at her hands which were now folded in front of her. Holly sensed there was some struggle there.

“I have seen some boys I thought were cute.”

“Were you asked out on dates?”

“Yeah…alot.”

“And?”

“I just didn’t go…I didn’t feel comfortable enough.” Tina said shyly.

“Did you find any of them cute?”

“The ones that asked?”

“Yes.”

“Sure. There were some cute ones.”

“Why did you decline their offer?”

Tina remained quiet as the thoughts flooded her mind. There were fears, a lot of them. 

“I wasn’t interested.”

“Interested in what?”

“I don’t know. I just didn’t want …..” Tina stopped mid-sentence.

“Want what?”

“I didn’t want to go there.”

“You didn’t want to …what exactly?”

Holly was pulling things slowly from Tina. She had a number of clients who suffered abuse on many levels, and was trained in the approach needed to obtain a successful outcome.

“I just…I didn’t want to have sex with them. I was scared.”

That was usually a common thread with victims of sexual abuse by the opposite sex. They retreated and “avoided” any potential intimacy with the opposite sex. It wasn’t always the case, but depending on the type of abuse, the duration, and the age of the victim it seemed to have some substance.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

*************

“That’s something we do see among victims Tina. There can be a feeling that you group all members of that gender into one category, as being unsafe. Often times, there are trust issues that make it hard to allow yourself to get close. Other times, you form an unhealthy opinion that they, being boys or men are going to hurt you again. What was done to you was done by a very sick and dangerous person Tina. You are not responsible for his actions. You didn’t ask to be a victim, and he certainly does not represent ALL males. The problem is had you been put into therapy at a young age while your ego and personality were still forming, you would have been able to have a more open, trusting, and healthy relationship with boys.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m gay.”

Holly arched a brow. “Are you sure?”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m asking if you are sure you are gay?”

“Of course I’m sure. I have only been with Bette, and I am extremely attracted to everything about her.”

“Okay, but have you considered that you perhaps could be bisexual?”

“No way. I’m not into boys.”

Tina knew in her heart, that the question raised was a valid one. She had wondered many things over the past few years, and that was one of them. Was she making a conscious decision to avoid boys, or was it that she really had no desire for them. Tina remained silent for a moment. Her eyes scanned the room, taking in more details of the surroundings. 

“It’s okay to say what you feel, what you fear, all of it. It is only you and I in this room.”

Tina mustered enough courage to offer a response.

“I have…well I’ve always wondered. I wondered if I had given boys a chance? Then I just look at what I have with Bette, and I figure that I was born this way, so it must be that I just wonder is all.”

Holly bit on the tip of her pen as she studied Tina’s body language and interpreted her response.

“Is it your opinion that you are born a lesbian?”

“Pretty much…yeah.”

“Have you ever considered the fact that because you closed yourself down to boys, based on what you endured, that you in a way discriminated against them? That you just didn’t allow yourself the chance to “feel” something?”

Tina didn’t say a word. She was absorbing what Holly had to share.

“I don’t have an opinion either way to be honest Tina. I’m not hear to tell you that you are gay or that you are not. I am a firm believer in that people have the capacity to love, and that love can take so many different forms, gender included. All I am doing, is trying to make you think. I deal with so many clients that actually want to fit themselves into one box or another….gay or straight. I have ones that need that label affixed to them. I like to bring them to a place where there is more ease in that part of their life, and free them from the pressure of fitting somewhere. I ask the questions only to make you think, not to lead you in one direction or another. As victims of sexual abuse by men, women tend to retreat many times. They tend to form attachments to women much easier than men. It isn’t uncommon for women to find they are more easily drawn to other women for emotional fulfillment and even more. Do you think that perhaps what happened to you at such a young and vulnerable age, contributed to you shutting boys out completely and only allowing yourself to engage with girls?”

Truth was, Tina didn’t think about that in great detail, but it had crossed her mind a few times.

“I’ve thought about it…a little.”

“Have you ever considered that you may have been born bisexual, and that perhaps because of this violation, instead of being on that fence, as some like to call it, you leapt over towards one side on purpose?”

“Maybe. I just don’t know. I don’t know anymore. I don’t like to think about it. Things were so much easier when I didn’t have to give it so much attention. What I do know, is I love Bette with all my heart, and I don’t think I need to really give anything else more thought.”

“Do you think you might be denying yourself a more healthier life by not wanting to address some of those painful memories of your past? That healthier life may be with a woman, or a man. I’m not here to sway you in one direction or the other. I am here to help stimulate your thinking, and to help you to find some answers.”

“My life can’t be anymore fucked up than it is right now. Bette and I are going to different schools and we will be breaking up by the end of the summer.”

“That thought must scare you,” Holly said, in a more softer tone.

“It does. I’m…we are devastated.”

“You are both going to remain together until the end of summer?”

“Yeah…do you think that’s a good idea?”

This was the first time that Tina was seeking some advice from the therapist. She was starting to engage a little.

“I think it is different for everyone. What do you think you will gain out of staying together for the next three months?”

Tina shrugged.

“Security?”

“Maybe” Tina muttered.

“Avoidance?”

Tina looked confused.

“What I mean is avoiding the fact that you might consciously be rejecting boys purposefully and not because there lacks some attraction.”

Tina was feeling a little anxious. Holly had somehow hit a little close to home. She wasn’t pushing or pulling in either direction, but she was definitely making her think, and bringing some of her own questions that she had all her life to the surface. Because Tina had felt some attraction to boys, she did always wonder if she was just denying herself that path because of the pain she associated that “gender” as being capable of delivering. She could only wonder, even more now than before, if in fact she was denying herself growth in that part of her sexuality and life. Her own thoughts were interrupted by Holly continuing her conversation.

“I’m not really sure that staying as close together as you are, while knowing the final outcome is the wisest thing to be doing. It’s clear you both love one another. However, if you are both definitely parting in three months, then who does it benefit to maintain something intimate?”

“I don’t know. I just think we both want to get as much as we can from the time left.”

“I understand. However, at what expense? What are each of you possibly missing out on during those three months when you might have a chance to experience new things outside of your relationship?”

“It wouldn’t make sense to get involved with another woman so soon before I go across the country for school,” Tina said rather reserved.

“Who said it would have to be a woman? If you truly aren’t sure about your sexuality Tina, and you want firm answers….well as firm as you can get, then maybe you need to let your guard down and experience a few dates with some boys.”

“No way…I…I’m not comfortable.”

“Tina, if a blonde woman had really hurt someone badly. Would it be fair of someone to say that “all blondes are evil? All blondes are out to hurt people?”

“That’s ridiculous. No it wouldn’t be.”

“Okay, then why is it different that you have refused to allow another gender into your life so you can even make a fair determination of who you are?”

Tina knew that there were boys she thought were attractive. She had even had a small crush on Josh, the Captain of the Football Team. She just never wanted to go down that road and take the time to figure things out. She knew it had the potential to pick at some old wounds, and just never felt it would be worth it.

“Tina, if you told me you never were abused, you were never attracted to boys, and you were always attracted to girls, I would say that your sexual identity is probably pretty firm. I can’t say that to you, and I can’t confirm your sexual identity without you really taking a closer look at yourself….with complete honesty.”

“I don’t know…”

“I think in your case, there is a chance, a remote one, that the abuse has had some impact on you. Sexual abuse is so exclusively individual. I do believe that some people are born gay. I believe strongly in the clinical part of that development. However, in keeping with the nature verses nurture theory, I think that there are some people, who because of abuse, are affected by what the needs are in their life. I think some form an attraction for the same sex because of the abuse. I also think, that there are some that are not “sexually” attracted to the same gender, but seek more the “emotional” fulfillment from a same sex relationship. I am a firm believer that each case is individual, and that there is not just one answer. Only you can figure out where you are and how you got there Tina. However, what I would say to you, is that you are young, you were sent here to discuss your sexuality…which…your father’s expectations have no bearing on, and hopefully this therapy might just help you through some of the misfortune you have endured at a young age. I would like to see you face some of those demons head on now, and continue to develop into an adult who will be healthy and well adjusted.”

Holly looked at her watch. She was surprised how quickly the hour passed.

“Look, I have this slot opened each week if you would like to discuss this in more detail. I would be happy to continue talking about this.”

“I’m really not a therapy type of person. I’m not sure.”

“Well, you let me know.”

“Thank you.” Tina said softly as she stood from the chair. She couldn’t wait to be on the opposite side of that door.

************

Tina was happy when her Mother pulled into the driveway. It had been a very quiet trip home, and Tina used most of the time to think about the conversation that had taken place in the therapist’s office. She got out of the car and went into the house. On one hand she was even more confused, but on another hand, she was relieved to think that there was someone who was making sense out of the mess in her head.

“Hey, did you get your brain squeezed?” Mark teased. “Those people are weird.”

“Mark Kennard, do not say those things.” Catherine instructed as she watched Tina walk from the kitchen to the stairs. “How do you even know about that anyway?”

“I overheard you and Dad talking the other day.”

Catherine folded her arms and arched her brow at Mark.

“Did you do your homework?”

“Yep. Can I go over to Scott’s house?”

“Did you sort the recycle like your father asked?”

“Yep. So, can I go?”

“Make sure you be back home by 6pm for dinner.”

“I will.”

Mark pushed the screen door open and ran out and across the backyard to the neighbor’s house. Catherine started to wash the glasses that were in the sink as she reflected on the unusually quiet ride home that she and Tina shared.

************

When Tina pressed the touchpad on her laptop, the screen came alive. There was an IM from Bette on the screen.

BP: Get in touch with me when you are done.

Tina felt so drained. She was more tired following this session with Holly, than when she took her 4 mile run. What she had liked about Holly, was that she really hadn’t take her down just one road. She didn’t overlook the possibility that Tina was in fact a lesbian. What she did do though, was allow Tina to admit to something that she had been wondering about, but wasn’t letting herself acknowledge. Could she really have been born straight and just adopted a lesbian lifestyle for the safeness it offered? Was she really bisexual who ended up leaning more towards women because of what her uncle did to her, and grouping all males together? The therapy had forced her to think more, and that was in fact just what Holly had said to expect from it. Tina laid back on the bed and folded her hands behind her head as she stared at the ceiling.

**************  
Dinner had been a quiet one, with Tina eating very little. She avoided as much conversation that occurred, as minimum as it was anyway. When dinner was through, she helped clean the table off and returned to her room where she and Bette started to IM.

BP: So it wasn’t so gr8?

TK: No

BP: You seem distant

TK: Sorry, just tired

BP: You sure?

TK: Just a lot to think about ya know?

BP: True

TK: She wasn’t sure that staying together intimately for the next three months was the best idea.

There was a rather long pause, in which Bette had started to write something in return, then stopped.

TK: You ok?

BP: Yes. Um…is that what you think too?”

TK: I don’t know. In some ways I’m more confused now than before.

BP: You don’t know?”

TK: I’m confused Bette. She offered some valuable insight.

BP: So we yo-yo back and forth now?

Tina didn’t answer. She could sense that Bette was taking it personal. Why wouldn’t she? It was personal.

TK: I just don’t want to do something that makes it so much worse for us. 

BP: But I thought we talked about it and agreed, together on it.

TK: We did. My heart says to do the next three months. My brain tells me …that it seems somewhat illogical. I just don’t know Bette.

BP: The bottom line is we luv each other. You do still luv me don’t you?”

TK: Yes of course I do.

BP: Then what’s the problem?

TK: It isn’t that easy. Please, just try to understand. Try to be patient.

BP: Tee, I am trying. I just don’t understand any of it. We talked about it. Why is it you go to some shrink because your father makes you, and she makes you second guess what we agreed on. She doesn’t know me at all. How can she offer fair advice?

TK: It isn’t about that Bette. She is looking at the situation with no emotion at all. That is how they can offer what they offer to their patients.

BP: Well, it would be nice to have some type of a say in it.

TK: I’m not making any decisions anyway. Just relax.

Bette and Tina continued to IM back and forth. During that time, the conversation only added to Bette’s fears even more, as well as offer more stress and pressure on Tina. When they both got offline, they hadn’t fought, but things were a bit strained.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi peeps! Hope you are continuing to enjoy this story! :)

CHAPTER 22

As a few weeks passed, things had gotten more and more confusing for Bette. One minute, she and Tina were making some of the best memories, laughing, playing, talking, singing and dancing…not to mention the hottest sex they had ever known. The next minute, Tina was pulling back and flirting with a few of the boys. It caused Bette a lot of pain to watch Tina go from being totally with her, to then neglecting her completely and focusing on some of the male athletes in their class. She had called Tina on it a few times, and Tina said that therapy was allowing her to look at males in a more positive way, and that she was just embracing that. It seemed that therapy was often blamed for whatever strange behavior Tina was exhibiting. Bette was trying to be as unselfish and supportive as possible, but it was wearing her down quite a bit.

Bette, Alice and Dana were sitting at the corner table in the Planet discussing their graduation ceremony, which was taking place the following weekend.

“Can you believe we are finally done with school?” Alice pushed her hair back. “I mean, on one hand it feels like 13 years flew by, and then on the other, it seems like my entire life was in a fucking brick box.”

Dana and Bette agreed. The years had gone by so fast, and yet, so slow as well.

“Are you having a party Bette?”

Bette nodded. “Yep. We are going to have it the following weekend. This way I can crash all the parties I need to this weekend.”

“My place better be at the top of that list woman.” Alice warned. 

“My parents planned mine on Sunday, which is great, everyone will be nursing a hangover after Saturday’s parties.” Dana chuckled. “Guess there will be more alcohol for me then.”

“Oh don’t you be counting on it. I’m just going to Tina’s house the night before, then I’m going to crash at your place.”

Bette remained silent. She hadn’t even discussed Tina’s party with her yet. It was graduation, and she expected that an invitation was forthcoming. However, given the circumstances with her father, Bette wasn’t so sure. As Dana and Alice spoke about Tina’s party, it was almost simultaneous when they looked over at Bette, who was quiet.

“Um…has Tina…?” Alice asked quietly.

“No…we haven’t really talked about.”

The girls felt rather awkward to hear that Tina hadn’t discussed her graduation party with Bette yet. Their thoughts were interrupted when they saw that Tina walked into the Planet with Johnny, laughing up a storm. Alice was the first to look over at Tina. Dana’s eyes were the next to follow, joined finally by Bette.

“What is up with her lately?” Dana inquired. “She has been hanging out with the jocks more and more.”

“So…he’s pretty hot. You know what they say about a guys shoe size? Well let me tell you something about Johnny’s shoes…” 

Dana cut Alice off before she could finish. “Ewwww…Hellloooo…you are talking to lesbians here. Must you be reminded?”

Alice sighed. “I guess only my bisexual friends can appreciate what I offer. I guess Tina and I will have to spend a little quality bi-time together.” Alice chuckled insensitively.

“Fuck you Al,” Bette said as she stared at Tina.

Dana shot an admonishing look at Alice. 

“What?”

“Shut it.” Dana quipped.

Johnny hugged Tina before leaving the Planet and leaving Tina standing at the counter.

“Hmmm…does this mean Porter is available to snack on?” Jenny questioned. “Seems you may be joining the other team.”

“It’s none of your fucking business. Why don’t you just get me a Diet Coke and shut your face?” Tina remarked firmly.

“Looks like you have Porter ready to blow over there.” Jenny glanced over at Bette, who was still staring at Tina.

Tina turned and looked over at the girls. She hadn’t realized that they were there, as they hadn’t chatted after school. These days had Tina hanging out with a few other people, including Johnny and some of his friends. She paid for her drink and brought it over to the table.

“Hey.” Tina said. “I thought you were going to watch the basketball practice today?”

“I was.” Dana responded. “Al was running late anyway, so we just decided to meet up here.”

Tina looked over at Bette whose face was serious. “May I?” Tina said, glancing at the available chair next to Bette.

“No one else is joining us,” Bette said. 

Tina took a seat next to Bette. “So what did I miss?”

“Well, I had just been discussing boy’s shoe sizes but was…”

Dana cut Alice off again. “But was reminded how insensitive and gross she was being.”

Tina smiled. “I’m sure that saying is an exaggeration at best.” 

Bette turned to Tina, her question direct and quick. “How would you know that?”

“I don’t…I’m just saying…most of that stuff is just crazy.”

Bette’s face remained serious. She was battling her inner jealousy, not to mention her anger and frustration. Each girl seemed to steal a glance at Bette’s jaw which was tight.

“Anyway…” Tina continued. “Can you believe this is our last week of school? I can’t believe that Senior Release is Wednesday.”

“No kidding. Are we going into one car or two?” Dana asked.

“I think Shane wanted everyone to go into her car the last day.” Bette offered.

Alice’s happiness couldn’t be contained. “YES! We can all be together then.”

Bette forced a smile, which soon vanished when Tina shared her plans.

“I think I might be going with Johnny.”

“WHAT?!” Alice exclaimed. “Why wouldn’t you want to be with us?”

Tina’s answer had shocked all the girls. It would not only be strange not having Tina with them, but it seemed almost purposeful as well. It didn’t seem that it bothered Tina much at all to go with the ‘boys’ that day.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be…it’s just...”

Bette’s anger couldn’t be contained. “It’s that it is much better to be seen with the straight crowd than the gay one…isn’t that right Tina?”

Bette glared at Tina, who responded with a raised and condescending brow. “That wasn’t fair.”

“What’s fair anymore right?”

“That was hurtful and that isn’t true.”

“I wonder a lot about truth Tina. I wonder a lot about what you have ever said to me as being true. You are sitting here forcing yourself to become someone you aren’t. You’re forcing yourself to live some heterosexual life that your father wants you to. You have a therapist that is manipulating you to think you can just turn straight.”

“Stop it!”

Bette continued. “….you have sex with me one day, and then you go and hide for a few days because you are confused and don’t know what you want or what you are feeling.”

“I said STOP. First of all, what I share with you in terms of my therapy is between you and I and no one else. Second, my therapist has never ever led me down a certain road because of some personal agenda. I know you don’t believe that because you don’t trust therapists, but I’m telling you, she has never presented only one side of something. She has only allowed me to really take a moment and look at myself, my life. What I have decided to do afterwards, or open myself up to later, is up to me.”

“Open yourself up to? Don’t even go there.” Bette was being offensive and crude. “I don’t want to know what you and him do.”

“Ugh! We do NOT do anything Bette. I have not slept with him. Get your head out of your ass and stop thinking that okay?”

Dana had felt uncomfortable long before Alice began to. Neither of them knew just what to do, except sit there in silence as Bette and Tina volleyed back and forth. The gang knew that this was apt to happen, as the tension between both of them was growing by the day, particularly with graduation around the corner.

“Then why haven’t we been intimate in over a week?” Bette challenged.

Tina rolled her eyes. “Is that the only thing you worry about? There is more to a relationship than just sex.”

“There is?” Alice piped up.

Dana threw a harsh look at Alice.

“Sorry,” Alice said quietly.

Neither Bette nor Tina heard the momentary disruption from Alice. Instead they continued their banter.

“Do you think I don’t realize that Tina? I know there is more, but where the hell have you been all week? You certainly haven’t had your mind on things with us. You tell me you want these three months, and all you have done, especially this week, was hang out with Johnny, whose no Appleseed I might add.”

“Christ, will you just stop. What has he done to you Bette?”

Bette looked away from Tina and at the empty soda cup in front of her.

“Why can’t you just be happy that I might be learning something about myself Bette? It took years for me to get into some of the things I have in therapy, and I know you know that. Can’t you just get beyond yourself and be happy for the progress I’m making?”

Bette couldn’t take much more of what Tina was dishing out. She got up abruptly and placed a five dollar bill on the table before grabbing her keys and leaving the Planet. Alice started to get up to follow Bette, until Tina lashed out.

“Let her go. She can be such an unreasonable woman sometimes….and she wonders why I might be more interested in a heterosexual relationship.”

Tina’s words were cold and biting. At the moment, she didn’t seem to care much about how those words might be interpreted by her friends.

“She seems upset, I’m going to make sure she is okay.” Alice left the table and proceeded out the front door of the Planet. By the time she was in the parking lot, Bette’s car was not in sight.

The silence that had remained at the table was noticeable. 

“What? You think I’m wrong?” Tina questioned.

“I didn’t say that.” Dana folded her arms and leaned backwards against the chair. “It’s just….well I feel bad for her Tee. She’s been trying really hard to be flexible, and patient, and to understand.”

Alice sat back down at the table. “She was already gone by the time I got out there.”

“Dana, I’m going through a lot as I work things out in therapy. This isn’t about making a choice between females and males. Contrary to what Bette is thinking, Holly isn’t trying to lead me down one road or another. The truth is…is that I have been confused. It was so easy to form a close relationship with women. It seemed to come so naturally. At the same time, I know that I just didn’t give boys a chance either. I purposely refused to go on dates with them. I grouped them all together as being more than capable of hurting me. I don’t know…I mean, I found a few boys at school kind of cute. However, I know that I consciously made sure it never went any further because I was scared. I was scared to go down that road because then I would also be forced to deal with what happened to me, head on. You just can’t know how it feels unless you have been in my shoes.”

Tina was passionate about what she had shared with both Dana and Alice. Each of them felt so much for Tina and her situation as well. Just when it seemed like they felt Tina was being unreasonable about she and Bette, suddenly a conversation like this occurred and they were in the middle…torn.

“Tee, we love you…I hope you know that. No matter what your final destination ends up being, we are still your friends. It’s just...”

“Just what?”

“Never mind.”

“No Al, what were you going to say?”

Alice looked from Tina to Dana, and then back to Tina as she gave herself more time to process her thoughts into words.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

“Well, if you and Bette aren’t going to be together anyway, then why stay together the way things are? I mean, why not just part now as friends, and at least keep that close relationship you both have? It just seems wasteful for both of you to stay together in an intimate relationship while you are trying to sort out so many things about yourself. Wouldn’t it be much better to have your best friend, in all she represents on that level there for you, than to have your best friend AND lover as the same person right now?”

Tina listened intently, especially to the last sentence. It was scary and substantial at the same time.

“I know that I could never lose Bette’s friendship. If I did, there would be a part of me that would feel so unfulfilled. She is more to me than just someone that I sleep with. She is so much more than those intimate things we share. She fills my soul with something absolutely incredible, and although I can’t really say what it is, I know that I would never be the same if she wasn’t in my life.”

“Well you are risking losing that if you can’t see that she is becoming seconds right now. I mean, do you expect her to just wait around on the side, fulfilling everything you want her to on whatever level that is, until you make up your mind what you want? That isn’t fair to her at all, and that is very damaging.”

Tina listened. She couldn’t conjure up a response to what Alice was saying. She knew that she was holding onto Bette for reasons that were more selfish than she cared to admit, but at the same time, she felt that Bette should have some patience with her as she moved through this phase where she was figuring things out.

“I don’t want to lose her…I don’t. I just…I just need her patience as I try to figure things out, that’s all.”

Alice and Dana shared an annoyed look.

“What?”

“How can you expect her to be jerked around?”

“I’m not jerking her around Al,” Tina said, defending herself.

“You are. Tina, think about what you are doing? Think about what you are expecting? You aren’t sure what you want, but yet, you expect her to stay on the sidelines until you make up your mind whether she is the person you want to be with. How fair is that?” Alice was getting more and more perturbed. 

Alice looked at Dana for a little support.

“Uh…I agree.” Dana offered quietly.

“That isn’t true. I’m not expecting her to be on the sidelines, just a little patience that’s all. I mean…can’t she understand that this process is very important for me? It isn’t about just making a choice, I have to figure so much out.”

“Tina, how would you feel if Bette decided to date other women?” Dana’s question was forward, and likely would not be well received, but she asked it never the less. 

“I guess I can’t stop her. I mean, I probably wouldn’t like it very much…but…”

Alice couldn’t help but interrupt Tina.

“But? But nothing! Tina, you have set these conditions on Bette to just hang out on the side, take all the bullshit of seeing you buddying up to Johnny and his little tribe, and just remain some unemotional, unaffected woman until you make up your mind what you want? It’s wrong, and quite frankly it is pissing me off to see how much you have changed into…into a selfish woman. I understand your struggles okay? I get that you need to work out some of that shitty stuff that happened to you, but come on Tee….at what cost? You are going down such a bad road here, and if you stay on it, I doubt you will even be able to have a friendship with her.”

That last part scared Tina the most. She knew in her heart, that no matter what the outcome, she needed Bette in her life and wasn’t so sure that it was worth the risk.

“I can’t lose that friendship…she means too much to me.” Tina muttered.

“Well if she has been more than just a fuck toy, then let her know it. Tell her with your actions and not these inactions that keep her in limbo. If all the love you have shared was genuine, and it was without selfish and self-centered conditions, then you make this right. At least show her that what you have shared has been real…real enough that you want to be sure to keep a friendship with her. That right there…making a choice to accept a friendship even if it isn’t exactly fitting into what you want at the moment, because you want a little more than that, I think will speak volumes as to the woman we have all known you to be.”

Tina was quiet. She had not completely recognized that not making a promise to Bette either way was doing just as much damage. The hopelessness that resulted because of her own indecisiveness was wrecking their relationship. 

“You are right Al. I need my best friend more than I need my lover right now as I go through this process. I guess I just felt that I didn’t want to tell her the wrong thing. Ya know what I mean? I don’t know what will come out of all this therapy and whether I want to explore a relationship with a man or not. I could have easily told Bette that I would be okay after all of it, and I would be with her until it was time to go to school. But what if I couldn’t? What if through all the work I had done, I found I couldn’t after telling her I would?”

“I don’t think that what Bette needed was to be told one thing or another. She loves you Tina. She has loved you before you went through the process, and as you are going through it. I am sure that no matter what, she will love you after it as well. I do think that she has become a “convenience” to you. You want to keep her connected to you in a more intimate way because I think you fear that after finally figuring out what you want, Bette maybe would have moved on herself, and then you are left with nothing. It isn’t fair to her, or yourself. Keeping Bette as some security blanket until you make up your mind what you want doesn’t make her feel very good or even valuable. It is an injustice to the relationship.” Dana shocked herself at what she had just expressed, but for some reason it seemed to have come so natural to her.

“The last thing I want is for Bette to think I never valued her as a woman, a friend, or my lover. There are days I feel so much love for her that it scares me. Then there are moments I feel so confused that it scares me just as much. But…the one thing that I can’t imagine being anything worse, is not having her in my life at all. I need my best friend.

“Then you need to tell her that Tee. You need to stop this see saw that you have put the both of you on, and you need to at least make a decision on that part of your relationship with Bette. It just isn’t fair to either of you. Think about it, on a Saturday you both are hiding out at one of our places, or in Bette’s car parked somewhere making love. Then you go to therapy on Monday, and then bam! You suddenly start to deal with the demons of the past, and you pull back from her only two days after making love with her. The messages are confusing as hell.”

“Bette would be devastated if I just…if I ended our relationship.”

“Tina, I think Bette is devastated now. I think this battle you both wage every week as things yo-yo up and down, is driving her crazy.” Dana leaned forward. “What I REALLY think, is that if you both stay on this course, you won’t even walk away with a friendship.”

The words were blunt, harsh, and brutally honest. Dana was right and Tina knew it. 

“You’re right. I feel us pulling away from each other. What I need is her friendship. I need to know she is always going to be there on that level. That is what I can’t do without.”

“Then salvage that now Tee. Be honest with Bette. Don’t be jerking her or yourself around anymore.” Alice pushed. “If you both don’t come to an understanding, then each of you are going to expect different things from the other. It’s going to end up a fucking mess.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Tina said, just before taking the last sip of her drink. “I’ll try to talk to her tonight.”

“What about your party this weekend. Have you even invited her?”

Tina hadn’t. She had been avoiding it all week. She shook her head negatively.

“Damn. So what does that mean? Is she not invited?”

“What am I suppose to do? My father does not want her at my house. I can’t just tell her to come over. I mean…he would probably ask her to leave, and that would not only hurt Bette and embarrass her, but it would also piss me off to see it actually play out that way.”

“So you just decide to ignore it?” Dana questioned.

“I’m sorry…I just…Bette hasn’t been extremely approachable. Last week she was all stressed out over exams, and I just didn’t want to bring it up. I guess it’s another thing I will need to talk to her about tonight.”

“Well Tee…for once I can honestly say that it sucks to be you.” Alice quipped. “I mean, there were times I use to think it sure was great if I were you, but now…nope…can’t say I feel that now.”

Dana nudged Alice. “Will you stop.”

“What?” Alice innocently asked. “I’m just saying.”

“Well don’t.”

The conversation took a turn from Bette and Tina’s relationship, to the summer, what the girls had planned, and then ultimately college and what they hoped to experience on campus.

*****************  
THAT EVENING**

Bette was browsing one of the Stanford Catalogs when her cell phone rang. She looked at the ID, and seen it was Tee.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” Tina said with a bit of caution.

“Hey.”

“Is it a bad time? I was hoping to talk.”

“I thought your father didn’t want you to use the phone.”

“I’m not worried about that right now. I was hoping you might be able to meet me somewhere. Maybe pick me up a few blocks from my house, and we could go somewhere to talk.”

Bette was feeling pretty uneasy. She was feeling hopeless and depressed about how the relationship she shared with Tina had deteriorated. She wasn’t sure she even had it in her to muster the strength to meet up.

“I don’t know…I’m kind of tired.”

“We won’t stay out late. I just think we need to talk Bette.”

Tina knew that if she didn’t act on what she had decided, when talking with the girls at the Planet, that she may not have the resolve to do so. Following their discussion, there were a lot of points made that she knew she couldn’t dismiss. Bette might be angry at her at this moment for breaking things off romantically, but later, she was hoping that after they had gotten into a different groove, that the value of their friendship would outweigh everything else.

“Please Bette…I think we both know that it’s time we really look at things and talk about them.”

Bette hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Fine…I’ll pick you up at the corner market. I’ll leave now.”

“Okay…I’ll meet you there.”

Bette and Tina both flipped their phone’s shut feeling similar emotions. They both knew that this discussion was probably going to change the dynamics of their relationship as they have known it. At the same time that they were going to find some disappointment felt, they would also likely feel a very small sense of relief as well. Change was hard, and this relationship had held so much value to both of them, that it wasn’t the most easiest thing to disregard and let go of. If they could walk away with a strong and deep friendship, then it would be validating the confirmations of love, and desire to remain connected through a friendship, which they had expressed a number of times to one another throughout their relationship.

****************  
THE MARKET**

Bette pulled up in front of the market to find Tina standing outside. When the car came to a stop, Tina reached down for the door handle, opened the door, and slid inside the passengers seat.

“Hi.” Bette said softly.

“Hi, thank you for agreeing to meet up with me.”

“It wasn’t a problem. So…where do you want to go?”

“Um…it doesn’t matter. Somewhere that is private and quiet, so we can talk.”

“What about the park? We can sit on the bleachers they have at the baseball field.”

“That’s fine. Although it might get kind of buggy out tonight.”

“True. Maybe we could just park somewhere.”

Tina arched a cautious brow.

“No...no I meant just parking somewhere, not to “park” in that sense.”

“Maybe the school lot?” Tina offered.

“Sure, we could do that.”

Bette drove the car to the High School lot. It was only a 7 minute drive or so, with only the radio breaking up the silence which accompanied the route there. The sad thing, was the silence between them wasn’t so uncomfortable anymore. It seemed that she and Tina were sharing more and more moments like that. She pulled into the lower lot, and parked in the far corner, shutting her headlights off and turning the ignition backwards, so the radio could continue to play. She lowered the volume a little bit and then took a deep breath as she prepared herself for their discussion.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Peeps,
> 
> Love reading your comments as they always make me smile, sometimes laugh, and often times agree! I appreciate that you take the time to leave your thoughts. Take care, be safe and stay well.
> 
> ~ Chicki

CHAPTER 24

Tina turned to Bette. She never felt more scared or confused in her life. A part of her wanted to ignore every reason as to why she was there, and what she had wanted to say. She feared losing that more deeper connection with Bette if they moved to just a friendship. She feared her own ability to watch Bette move on intimately with another woman. Yet, she also knew she loved Bette enough to put her own selfish needs aside, and do the right thing by both of them, for Bette didn’t seem capable of doing it herself.

“I…I’m not sure where to start.” Tina’s eyes filled with tears. “Fuck, I promised I wouldn’t do this.”

Bette opened the glovebox and handed Tina a tissue.

“Thank you. Bette, I have been thinking all afternoon. I had a long conversation with Alice and Dana. I love you so much…so much so that I know I could never NOT have you in my life. I know I have placed some expectations on you over the past three weeks or so that have not been very fair. I may not have come right out and told you to stay by my side, but I have certainly put enough pressure there for you to know I wanted you to be there as I figured some things out.”

Bette cleared her throat. “I haven’t minded being there for you as you sorted some stuff out with Holly.”

“I know……” Tina sighed, Bette had been more patient than most would have ever been, and Tina knew it. “I know you have been so patient. I guess without telling you it was all going to be okay, I just expected you to remain by my side no matter how uncertain the final outcome was going to be. That was unfair of me.”

“I get that you are confused Tee. It just bothers me when I have that confusion thrown down my throat, like what happened at the Planet today.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know you girls were going to be there. I hadn’t given it much thought at all. I’ll admit, I let my desire to get as much attention from Johnny as possible, ruin my ability to even see what I was doing. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I am sorry for that.”

Bette looked at Tina, and could see the pain she was feeling. “It’s okay…we all make mistakes.”

Bette’s leniency was making Tina feel worse.

“It would help if you got a little angry about it...like you felt today at the Planet.” 

“Why? Who would it help?”

The words kept playing through Tina’s head. They had seemed to come so much easier when she was talking with Dana and Alice. In front of Bette…it was different. She just couldn’t seem to express herself. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Bette that a friendship was what would be best for them both. She needed Bette in her life, and feared she would go on to meet someone else to take the place she once had. She wasn’t prepared to give that up so easily. Three months was still a long time for them to have together, and as much as this evening was filled with preparing to take a step back, she wasn’t so sure she would be able to do so…not now, and perhaps not after the three months have come and gone either.

***********  
ALICE’S**

“Come on Al, we are going to miss the movie!” Dana complained at Alice’s inability to ever be on time when they made plans.

“Take it easy, I had to change my pants.”

Dana raised a brow. “Uh…why?”

“I didn’t see the damn stain on the front. I think it’s the fabric softener sheets I use in the dryer. Has that ever happened to you?”

“I don’t use them on my clothes, just my towels. Hurry up…we’re going to miss the start of it.”

“Hold your horses. They always have at least 10 minutes of previews for upcoming movies. Not to mention you didn’t really want to see this one.”

“You’re right. However, I also don’t want you to be bitching that we were late, even if it was your fault.”

“My fault?!”

“Yes, uh…I think I have been the one waiting,” Dana said cockily.

Alice looked at her cell phone for any new text messages or calls she may have missed, before throwing it in her purse. “Okay, let’s hit the road.”

Once in the car, Dana and Alice started to discuss Bette and Tina.

“I wonder how everything is going?” Dana asked as she readjusted the strap on her watch.

“I’m sure Bette is probably devastated. I have never seen her love someone as deep as she has Tina. I mean, this kind of commitment and love you might find when they are old and in their thirties or something, but now? It just floors me to be honest.”

“Old and in your thirties? Um…I hate to say that we aren’t really THAT far away from our thirties, and I don’t consider that old.” Dana flipped her cell phone open, then laughed as she read a text message.

“Who’s it from?” Alice inquired.

“Shaney. She wrote….’I saw what you just did.’”

“She’s a nut!” Alice blurted out between her laughs. “I wonder if she has heard from Bette.”

“I’ll ask her.” Dana typed a message to Shane asking if she heard anything.

As the girls waited for Shane’s response, they continued to converse.

“I just don’t want to see Bette hurt. She has been feeling so hopeless over all of this…the next three months…the beginning of school. I know it’s going to be hard on her, but at least she can try to heal now and maybe move on.”

“Do you think it will be that easy?” Dana’s phone vibrated. “She said she hasn’t heard from Bette.”

“I doubt it will be easy, but in the long run, at least she would know where she stands. You know how Bette is Dana. She is so fucking structured with her life that it puts every one of us to shame. I cannot imagine what this level of uncertainly and limbo has done to her. I just hope she can see it when Tina tells her she just wants to be friends.”

“I know…I hope she does too.”

*****************  
PARKING LOT**

Bette broke the silence. “Tee…why are we here?”

Tina’s mouth felt dry. No matter how much she had practiced in front of her bedroom mirror, she couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t do it.

“I…I wanted to tell you I love you. I love you so much and I don’t know if I can just accept the three months. I’m just…I’m so confused Bette. It’s hard to see us being able to pull off something long distance, but…but it is possible right? I mean…we could do it couldn’t we?”

Tina searched for some answers, but even the ones she had hoped to hear may not be the ones that were right for her.

“Tee, you don’t even know if you want to be with a man. How could we even think about that?”

“I can’t promise you anything Bette. I don’t know the answers yet. I’m in therapy and I’m working on finding those answers. I’m trying…if you could try to be patient then maybe we will find those answers together Baby. I don’t know what I will end up finding out, I just know I want you.”

Bette wasn’t sure the gamble was going to be worth it. She wasn’t a woman who built her life on uncertainties. As a matter of fact, she was the most structured and systematic of all the girls. 

“So what you are saying is, you want us to stay together as you go through this, but at the end of the journey, you aren’t sure that we will work everything out?”

Bette was pretty direct, and as much as that made Tina look rather bad in that light, it was what Tina was saying.

“I wouldn’t have put it that way.”

“Well what way should it have been put?” Bette’s inquisition was a valid one that required explanation.

“Bette, what if I told you that I want something with you, for the next three months, and even longer if we agree to trying it long distance, and then, THEN after all the therapy and the commitment we made to each other, I tell you that I found myself…that I want a life with a man? How the hell will you feel after sticking by my side then?”

“I guess I just need to know that I might be enough for you…that’s all. That there is that chance I might be all you need.”

“Baby…I love you. At this moment in my life, as I sit here today, I can tell you this. I am curious. I am seeking some answers. The answers I do have, is that I love you so much that it hurts to consider my life without you.”

The discussion wasn’t making Bette feel any better. Tina’s indecisiveness was definitely taking a toll on Bette, and she knew that it was going to be her decision whether she stay on the sidelines and walk down this path with Tina, or whether she walk away now. She loved Tina, more than she had ever loved another girl, and lord knows Porter had enough of them. She couldn’t bring herself to walk away…not just yet.

“I need to know I have half a chance.” Bette muttered.

“You do…you have MORE than half a chance. I just need to go through this process. If I don’t do it now, I would probably have ended up doing it much later in my life. My abuse needs to be dealt with honey. I know that hurts, and I know that as I deal with it, it may present a whole different life for me, and ultimately affect you. But please, please understand that I must figure this out now.”

“So what exactly does this all mean? I mean…are we going to be a couple while you do this? Are we going to split up while you figure things out? I mean….are we going to just be friends, or friends with the occasional perk?”

Tina took hold of Bette’s hand and rubbed the back of it with her thumb.

“I want our intimacy. I need our intimacy. I can’t just give that up. At the same time, as I figure some things out, I need to see how I feel about boys. I know it’s asking a lot, but I just have to know that if I walk away from a potential hetero life, that I have thought it all through and experienced what I need to.”

“Does that mean you are going to be having sex with them while we are together? Because I frankly couldn’t deal with that Tina. That just isn’t something I could accept, you being with me and having sex with someone else.”

“No…no, I don’t plan on that happening. If I felt my life was taking a direction which I had gotten that far that I felt the need to sleep with someone, I would definitely make sure you and I talked about it.”

Bette didn’t like that last part, but she loved Tina, and she loved her enough to put herself aside, her wishes, her wants, her desires, her needs, and her identity. Love does that sometimes. It brings you to make some decisions that you might not have made if you weren’t so madly in love. Bette Porter WAS madly in love with Tina Kennard, and her inability to be selfish with herself proved that love ran deep. Even if Tina had not come right out and promised Bette that she would be the chosen one in the end, she sure alluded to it…very much so, and for now, that was enough for Bette.

Tina took the hand she was holding and brought it to her lips. Her soft lips touched the back of Bette’s hand and the warmth she brought to it, made it come alive under her touch.

“I love you so much.” Tina’s mouth confirmed her words as she made a slow progression up Bette’s arm.

Bette could feel her nipples immediately harden as Tina ascended up her arm with her mouth. Bette closed her eyes, she wasn’t so sure that remaining intimate during this time would prove helpful to Tina’s progress in therapy, but she needed to feel some connection to her that was unique only to them both. Their intimacy was one concrete avenue of isolating the bond between them, and keeping it exclusive to their relationship. Bette fought her mind and heart as Tina found her neck.

“Sooo much,” Tina uttered into Bette’s neck in between some tender kisses.

Bette was losing all her inhibitions as Tina took control of her. She was once again falling victim to the powerful essence that this blonde girl held. There was an incredible magnetic field between the two of them that neither had ever experienced. No matter how much they might try to convince themselves of something else, it existed, and it was real. Tina just needed to ensure that there wasn’t anything else MORE real out there. She knew in her heart, that a heterosexual relationship would be so much more easily embraced by her family, and offer a lot more ease and acceptance in general. She just needed to understand more about why she negated boys so much and if it was a reaction to the abuse and she didn’t give them a chance, or if she truly was a lesbian. She needed to work through thing in therapy and be sure of the road she would choose.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for the comments here and elsewhere. Stay safe and be well.

CHAPTER 25

It hadn’t taken Tina long to discard her shirt, bra, and unbutton Bette’s shirt so it lay open, with her black lace bra accentuating the curves of her young, firm breasts. Tina was kissing Bette’s neck as she straddled her in the back seat of the car, her hands squeezing her breasts through her bra. As she brought her tongue across her neck, she pushed Bette’s bra up over her breasts, not wanting to wait to have it removed before taking Bette’s nipple in her mouth. Bette’s nipples were hard…very hard, for she had been turned on almost immediately upon Tina touching the back of her hand, only moments earlier. Tina knew Bette’s weak spots, and exactly how to work it to get her girlfriend all juiced up. There was no doubt in Tina’s mind, that when she got down to business, Bette would be all ready for her. As she brought her mouth across Bette’s breast, over her sternum to the other, she exhaled a searing breath on her skin, taunting her for a moment. This caused Bette to put her hands through Tina’s hair and draw her head down even further, showing her just how much she desired her mouth on her stiff nipple.

“God Tee…I need you so bad.” Bette pulled Tina’s head into her, raising her chest up, offering Tina more of herself.

Tina rolled her tongue around Bette’s nipple before sucking the swollen nub into her mouth, where she wrapped her lips around it, gripping it tight as she rotated her tongue hard against it. This provoked a deep moan from Bette as she pressed her head back against the armrest of the back door. Her senses were once again awakening, and not of her own doing either. The passion and control that Tina had to stimulate every part of Bette was mind altering at times. Bette tried hard to control her breaths, as well as her need for that release. She knew all too well that the longer she could hold on, the stronger and more explosive the orgasm would be.

Bette reached down between their bodies where she fumbled with the button on Tina’s jeans. She was desperate to get them both completely naked, so they could feel their skin touching one another, feel the wetness of the other as their legs intertwined between the other’s. Every time she raised her head from the armrest, to attempt a glance down at Tina’s jeans, the sensation of Tina sucking on her nipple was too strong to take, and she would soon find her head back against the door. She couldn’t take it anymore, and with the most deep and sensual cry she shared her desperation as she forcefully turned over, putting Tina on her back, first against the back seat, then ultimately in the same position she had been in. Her shirt lay open as her bra remained pushed above her breasts. She brought her face down to Tina’s breasts in an extremely strong way as she pulled her nipple into her mouth, sucking hard. Tina grabbed Bette’s ass, her hands squeezing Bette’s jeans as she moaned from the delightful feelings Bette had already created. Bette stopped for a brief moment as she literally yanked the rest of her own shirt off, followed by her bra and threw them to the floor of the car. She reached down and unbuttoned her jeans, pulling the zipper down before finally accomplishing the same with Tina’s. Before taking either of their jeans off, Bette brought her face back down and kissed Tina’s skin, sucking on it as she moved to her belly button. She rolled her tongue around playing with her ring. Piercing’s had been something that Bette found a particular fondness for, and on Tina, having the right body that she did, was extremely sexy, as her mouth tantalized it. She brought her mouth below Tina’s belly button and made circles with the tip of it before pushing Tina’s jeans open and pulling at her thong so that just the top of her landing strip was showing. She brushed her lips against her, taking in that all too familiar scent. She wanted more of her girlfriend…more of her moisture….her lips…her clit…her center. The desire was almost too much to bear as she quickly turned and began removing her own jeans and thong. Tina followed suit, at this point she could no longer take this slow, grueling, and methodical approach. She needed to get laid, and she needed it now. As Tina threw her jeans to the floor, followed by her thong, Bette started to ease Tina back down. She wanted to show her that the best love she could ever receive was from a woman. She wanted to remove all doubt from Tina’s mind that a man was what she would want or desire. Sex was now going to bring with it, a need to accomplish more than simply satisfying her girlfriend, but making it so she would never have to question what she wanted again.

***********  
MOVIE’S**

“Sold out?! No way…I’ve been dying to see this one!” Alice cried.

The lady at the ticket booth remained unaffected by Alice’s disappointment. 

“I knew we should have left sooner,” Dana remarked. “Do you want to see something else?”

Alice was pouting. She didn’t say a word.

“I’m sorry, but until you decide, would you girls please step out of line?”

Alice flashed a disgruntled look at the clerk, offering all blame and discontent in her direction.

“I’m pissed. When are we going to be able to see it now?” Alice griped. “Uggh…this sucks.”

“It’s suppose to be here for another week or so.” Dana wasn’t too disappointed. Shrek 3 was not something she had a major interest in. Alice had dragged her to Shrek 2 and she wasn’t so thrilled then. “So what do you want to do now?”

“Can you just be a little more upset for my benefit please?” Alice was acting like a baby, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help herself at the moment. “I mean, I know you don’t like Shrek, but dammit I was looking forward to it all day.”

“Al, I think you are making too much of it. It’s just a stupid cartoon.”

“Cartoon!? Don’t…don’t even go there. He’s probably the most compassionate male figure I know.” Alice defended her feelings. “He is …sweet…kind…unselfish…caring..”

“He is a green cartoon character with a big fat ugly head Al!” Dana tried to bring a sense of reality back to the conversation. 

“A what? What did you call him?”

Alice’s eyes widened. 

“Uh…a…big…fat ugly…”

“Yeah, yeah I know what you said. Take it back Dane.”

Dana’s serious face changed almost instantly as laughter took over.

“I’m not kidding Dane take it back.”

“Take what back? That is what he is Al!”

“See that’s the problem…people worry more about what other’s look like, rather than what’s inside.”

Dana kept chuckling as Alice spoke. “HaHaHa, come on Al, that is ridiculous…”

“No…no it isn’t. You are minimizing Shrek based on what he looks like. What about all his other qualities? Huh?”

Dana laughed even more, to the point where she had to lean against the wall of the movie theatre. “Stop…hahaha…stop I’m gonna pee.”

Alice’s face turned red. “Then pee dammit! See that’s Tina’s whole problem. She is more concerned about some fucking guy that could compliment her life on the outside, regardless of what she feels on the inside. That’s the same stupid way of thinking Dana.”

Alice turned from Dana and headed for the front doors of the theatre. As Dana straightened her body from the wall, she realized that Alice’s opinion wasn’t really about Shrek, but about what was happening between her friends. It was obvious that Bette and Tina’s problems were affecting friends close to each of them.

****************  
PARKING LOT**

Bette’s original initiative of a highly charged plan to make love quite strongly to her girlfriend didn’t soften much as she proceeded to tease her with a slow progression. She immediately brought her mouth to Tina’s swollen nipple and began rolling her tongue around it as Tina struggled to accept the wonderful feelings that Bette was creating, as well as wonder why such determination filled her on this evening. As Bette continued to arouse one nipple with her mouth, her other hand massaged Tina’s other breast. Tina arched her head back against the car door, while she slid her hands through Bette’s long brown hair. Bette continued to ravish Tina’s breasts as Tina’s center began to throb with the need for release. Tina's moans and sighs easily escaped under Bette's pleasurable touch. She couldn’t help but shift her legs in a way which allowed Bette better contact with her center. Bette followed Tina’s lead and began to push more firmly with her leg as Tina grinded against it. It wasn’t long before Tina just couldn’t take anymore of this, and needed to feel Bette inside her.

“Babe, I want you inside me. I need to feel you deep inside me”

Tina took hold of Bette's hand which had been massaging her breast, and brought it between her legs pushing it against her center. She parted Tina’s wet lips with her fingers, and slid her middle finger decisively over her aching clit which caused Tina to move her hips from the sensitivity. She pressed her lips back against Tina’s mouth as she slid her tongue deep inside, her fingers creating a clearly defined tempo over her clit which was swelling under Bette’s touch. She started to grind herself fiercely against Tina's leg as her own arousal provided enough lubrication. Tina's brows arched from the pleasure that Bette was producing with her fingers over her clit. 

"ohhhhh god Bette…I nneed…you, inn….side." Tina’s voice quivered with need.

Tina's body shuddered from the increasing assault of arousing sensations that was pulsating through her body. Her breathing was getting shorter and more rapid. The possibility of maintaining Bette's mouth over hers as she plunged her tongue deep inside Tina's mouth was becoming less and less a reality. She moved her head to the side as she tried to breathe through the rising climax…she pleaded for Bette to go inside…

“Baby…pleeeeaasee…in…inn…inside me”

Bette pushed two and then three fingers inside Tina deep, as she pumped in and out, using her thumb to manipulate her clit. When she curled her fingers, she could feel Tina’s G-spot, knowing her girl well enough to know exactly where it was. Tina’s moans and groans were making Bette so wet that Tina could feel her leg becoming more and more moist from Bette's center as it continued to slide and grind against it. 

Tina slid her hands around to Bette's back, her fingertips pressed against Bette’s skin, as her nails dug into her skin when she felt her insides begin to tighten from the incredible pleasure. Bette was so determined and focused that it was obvious to Tina she had her full attention. There was a dominance in place, and Tina enjoyed the level of submissiveness that she was offering to her lover.

Tina whispered towards the car roof…."yes...oh yes…oh god take me!" 

Tina arched her head back even further, as Bette began to rhythmically thrust her fingers in and out of Tina, her fingers curling against her G-spot with every deep thrust.. Their bodies both moved in a rhythm that it would have seemed Bette was a man thrusting himself deep inside.

Making love to Tina had taken on a whole different purpose on this particular evening. It was as if Bette wanted to show Tina, that if it was a more masculine form of lovemaking that the blonde desired, she could offer that to her as well. “How’s that? Does that feel good? Do you feel satisfied Tee?” Bette asked in between some heavy breaths as she sought to provide the most pleasure she ever had.

“Oh baby…th-that…fe..fee..feels….soo oooo good….oh…hhharder...yes…yes. Bette was inside Tina so deep, that her first two knuckles could not be seen.

Tina’s lips began to quiver in complete ecstacy while Bette maintained a steady rhythm.

“Oh Jesussssss…..please…don’t stop…just…just like that…oh babyyy...Beeeeeeeette…Ohhhhhhhhh Goooooooooddd.” Tina climaxed hard, as her insides clamped down on Bette’s fingers. Her cum encompassed Bette’s fingers as she kept them inside Tina. Bette started to slide down Tina to go down on her and bring her to a second orgasm when Tina held onto Bette’s head, preventing her from touching her with her mouth. She was extremely sensitive, and it was too soon to go for a second round at this time.

***********  
LATER**

Bette drove Tina back to the corner market, where she stayed in the car for a few minutes longer.

“That was just mind blowing.”

“I’m glad.” 

“I just wish you would have let me reciprocate.”

“I just wanted it to be about you tonight. I just wanted you to let go and find that pleasure again that you have always felt.”

Tina looked at Bette, a more serious expression took over as she rubbed Bette’s leg. 

“Baby, I have never lost that pleasure with you. Don’t ever think that any of this is about my losing something or needing something different. It isn’t…I don’t want you to feel that.”

Bette wanted to believe that was true. She wanted to believe that it wasn’t so much what she couldn’t offer Tina, but more of what Tina needed to learn for herself. It was hard to convince herself completely of that, no matter how hard she wanted to.

“Bette I love you, and I love what we shared tonight.”

“Good…just don’t forget it okay? Don’t forget that you ‘can’ be fulfilled by a woman.”

Tina wasn’t sure Bette would ever be able to fully understand what this journey was for her. At this point, she was hoping that she would just be able to understand even a fourth of it.

“I have never had any complaints. Honest…fingers crossed,” Tina said gently. “I need to go before my parents begin to get too curious. Will you be online later?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll catch you online.” Tina got out of the car and walked back towards her home, as Bette remained in that one spot watching her in her mirror until she was completely out of sight.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Bette pulled the screen door open and went into the kitchen where she grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, before she proceeded to her room.

“Honey, your father left some papers for you to sign for Stanford on the kitchen counter. Make sure you sign them before you leave for school in the morning,” Bette’s mother said as Bette passed through the living room.

“Okay.” Bette proceeded upstairs to her bedroom. The air was comfortable on this evening, and she was glad she had left the window up so that the fresh air would fill her room. She looked at her laptop which she had left on the bed. There was a Yahoo Messenger window up, with an instant message displayed.

AL: u there?

AL: I’m worried about u. I know Tina was suppose to meet u and tell u

AL: Bette???????

AL: look, I know this is hard, but she was thinking of u and what was best for u both

AL: this is the time u need 2 let ur friends in

AL: why aren’t you answering your cell?

Bette looked down at her cell phone, it was on silent. She hadn’t realized that she had somehow changed the ring setting. She looked back at the screen.

AL: there isn’t one easy thing about breaking up. Just look at it that u both can be friends now. I don’t think it was an easy decision for her

AL: anyway, I’m gonna check on Tina 2, & see how she is holding up. U will both get thru this. Who knows, maybe some day, in another time, u will both be a couple again. 

AL: call me xoxo

Bette stood before the screen and stared at it, the light illuminating the room around her while she tried to absorb the words. She didn’t understand it completely, for there seemed to be a lot of things missing, but she sure got the gist of it. Tina’s intentions on this night, was to break up with her, and not…not what they had ultimately engaged in.

Bette was hurt, angry, and felt used. She ran to the bathroom and quickly ripped her clothes off her body. She started the shower and wasted no time getting in there and scrubbing her skin. She wanted no part of her, nothing. They hadn’t made love…at least in her mind it wasn’t making love on Tina’s end. No one could be making love who was just there to break your heart. Bette took hold of the pouf sponge and continued to wash her body in a frenzied way, hoping to remove the feelings, the emotions, the residual affects. However hard she scrubbed, she would never be able to wash this woman from her heart, and before long, she allowed her legs to crumble, and she kneeled in the bathtub as the water continued to spray down on her. Her tears merged with the shower water. The drain unable to differentiate between the two, as the liquid circled its way down the hole.

*********  
TINA’S**

Upon arriving home, Tina had gone to her room and lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. She was in a total state of post orgasm bliss, feeling so very close to Bette at this time. As close as she was feeling, though, her thoughts returned to the many therapy appointments she had with Holly over the past several weeks. She was so confused as to what she wanted, and how she would eventually get there. She was finding such limited pressure when she navigated towards her male friends. There was an ease she felt with them. Boys were less emotional than girls. They didn’t appear as needy, as interested in the gossip, the competition that existed, or the minute details that sometimes felt overbearing with girls. There was such a laid back attitude with most of them, and she just wondered about how much more easier life would be if she could just go in that direction. On the other hand, the see-saw of emotions she felt she was on, would soon return her to thoughts of Bette. How she felt so loved, desired, craved, the center of someone’s world. She liked the attention that Bette gave her, and wasn’t sure if a man would offer that same level of attentiveness. Her thoughts were interrupted by her cell phone ringing.

Reaching into her pocket, Tina pulled the phone out and flipped it open. “Hello.”

“Hey Tee.”

“Hi Al.”

“How did it go?”

Tina felt reserved, tentative. She knew her friends weren’t going to embrace her inability to either commit fully to Bette, or leave her completely. They were not going to be receptive of this swinging back and forth.

“Um…well…it…”

Alice didn’t wait for her to answer. “Is Bette okay? Are you okay?”

“Al, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break up with Bette.”

“What?!” Alice was alarmed. Her thoughts immediately went back to what she had said in the IM to Bette. She went to her computer to see if she kept a history of it. “Shit! Shit-Shit-Shit!”

“I’m sorry…I just…I was in the car, it was just us…we were alone…the attraction was there…we ended up having sex instead.”

“FUCK!” Alice yelled. “OMG this is soooo not good Tina.”

“Al, I’m sorry. I know all you girls think I need to make some decision, but it’s just hard okay?” Tina started to defend her decision. “I love Bette, and there is this huge part of me that want’s to try so much, to do this long distance and stay together. I also have another part that fears we won’t make it. Now add to that, I am curious about…guys.”

“Nooooo I’m not saying it’s not good because of that. It’s…just…SHIT!”

“What?”

“Tina, I thought you were going to tell Bette you guys were ending things. I sent her an IM telling her to hang in there.”

“You WHAT? Oh fuck…oh god Alice you didn’t?”

“I did…Tee, I felt so bad. I had tried to call her and didn’t get a hold of her, so I assumed that she wasn’t answering because you had told her and she was off somewhere in pieces.”

“Damn it.” Tina said as she rushed to her laptop to see if Bette was online. “Her messenger says she is online. I’m gonna send her an IM.”

“Okay….is there anything I can do?” Alice asked, humiliation quite present in her tone.

“No, no I’ll try to handle it.” Tina said as she typed a message to Bette.

TK: Babe u there?

TK: Bette? Call me okay?

“I’m sorry Tee. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“I’ll talk to you later.” Tina wanted nothing more but to get off the phone so she could dial Bette.

TK: Please talk 2 me. I know u r there.

Tina dialed Bette’s cell phone. 

**********  
BETTE’S

Bette was laying on her bed, wearing a singlet and pair of shorts, her eyes red and burning from the tears that she had shed. She had a terrible headache and knew quite well that sleep wasn’t going to come easily. All she could think about was how used she felt. How she made love to this woman who had come with the intent of breaking up with her. It tore at every bit of her heart as she lay there succumbing to her pain. Her body didn’t move as fast as it usually did, when her cell phone rang. She looked at the screen and saw Tina’s name. She ignored it, choosing instead for it to go to voicemail.

**********  
TINA’S**

Tina left 4 more messages, and flooded Bette’s Yahoo Messenger with IM’s. She had gotten no response. She lay in bed trying to think just what she could do, what her options were. She felt so uneasy with every passing minute, the love she felt for Bette was coming through strong. This need to make things right, to make sure they didn’t lose what they had together was a powerful feeling and was allowing Tina to accept how impossible it would be to be without Bette in her life, not just as her friend, but more. She looked at her watch and got out of bed. She cracked her bedroom door open slightly, and noticed it was dark downstairs. Her parents were in bed, and had likely been there for at least the last hour. She quietly closed the bedroom door behind her, taking her time to descend the stairs. Once in the kitchen, she took the set of car keys to her father’s car off the hook that he kept them on, and silently made her way outside. Her heart broke for the pain she knew that Bette was feeling at this time. She knew it was taking a big risk, but she didn’t feel she had much of a choice. She made every effort not to make any noise when she closed the car door. She placed the car in neutral and was never more grateful that their driveway had a slight grade to it, making it easier to roll backwards towards the street. Once she was close enough to the road, she turned the key and started it, then drove off towards Bette’s.

***********  
BETTE’S**

Bette looked at her cell phone which was ringing once again. This time it was Alice. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, so she let that call join the rest of Tina’s in her voicemail. As she lay there, she heard a car door in the driveway, which was below her bedroom window. She assumed it was her father returning home, as she hadn’t seen him when she came in the house earlier. Her mind returned to the bitter place that she was resigning herself to. A place which was lonely, dark, unforgiving. A place where she could protect herself from the hurt of others. Her thoughts were once again interrupted by a noise. She was thinking too much of Tina, because for a moment, she thought she heard her.

“Psssssst…Bette…Bette” Tina whispered in a tone that wasn’t extremely loud, but hoped was loud enough to get Bette’s attention. 

Bette turned towards the window to listen.

“Bette, come outside…pleeeeease.” Tina pleaded.

Bette stood up from the bed and went to the window where she saw Tina standing on the grass below. She looked over at the driveway and noticed her father’s car. 

“What are you doing? Your father is going to kill you!”

“I don’t care. I had to come here. You weren’t answering my phone calls or my instant messages.”

“I don’t think we should talk. We don’t have anything to talk about. I know everything…I know what you were planning tonight. I think that says it all.”

“No, no it doesn’t. Yes…I intended to break up. It’s not because I don’t love you, I do…I love you very much. I just didn’t think this was fair to you. This indecisiveness. Please try to understand. Just come down here and talk to me, or let me come up there.”

Bette stood in the window, feeling reserved and removed. “I don’t want to talk Tina.”

“Baby please…please don’t do this.” Tina begged. “Please just give me a chance to talk to you.”

“I did give you a chance, plenty of them. You lied to me. You don’t know what the hell you want. You meet me tonight with one intention, and then you flip flop in an instant. What do you want from me Tina? I can’t be like that. I need some type of stability. How can a person ask to meet you, with the intent of ending a relationship, and then within moments end up making love with you and telling you how much they want you and need you?”

“Bette, if you would just give me a chance to explain. I have so much to say and all I ask is for the opportunity to do that.”

Bette stared down at the blonde that she loved with all her heart. She ached for the woman she had been with only a month earlier, before the bullshit of separate schools and self discovery came into the picture. She looked at her with the love that existed in her heart, and reflected on the love which they made together only moments earlier. Tina was definitely Bette’s weakness, and no matter how hard she tried, she always found her heart going back to her.

“I’ll meet you by the back patio.” Bette said before turning from the window.

Bette made her way through the dark and quiet house, which was illuminated only by the subtle light that the full moon was sharing on this calm evening. When she arrived out back, Tina was already sitting on the lower part of one of the chaise lounges. She was hesitant as she looked up at Bette who stood before her, her arms folded.

“I hope you realize that whatever you have to say is going to be hard for me to believe.” Bette said, her tone angry, her hurt present.

Tina placed her head in her hands. “I had spoken with Alice today…and Dana. We talked about how I feel like I am on this see-saw and how unfair it is to you. When we spoke more about you and I, I just felt this wave of shame and guilt come over me Bette. I don’t want to string you along. I am so torn right now, that I feel myself standing in one place and not wanting to move in any direction at all. I can’t walk towards you completely, and yet I can’t walk away from you. I love you Bette. If it were easy for me to run away from what we have together, then I would have. I can’t.”

Bette’s nostrils had stopped moving from the nasal breathing she was doing. She looked at Tina and knew that she was struggling, a lot.

“Tina, don’t you think this therapist has made things worse for you? I mean, don’t you feel even more confused now than before?”

Tina took a deep breath in, wiping a stray tear from her face. “I think that in order for me to figure some things out, I have a lot of hard work to do. I have a road I have to travel, and figure stuff out. I don’t blame her at all. I held a lot inside of me for a very long time Bette. Things that happen to you when you are young just don’t fix themselves. My ignoring it, and my families ignoring it, didn’t mean it didn’t have an impact on me. It did, and it does. I ask that you not give up on me. That you walk with me, and be there. I need you there Bette.”

Bette sat down on the chaise lounge that was next to the one Tina was sitting on. They were now facing each other, their knees just about touching.

“I’m trying Tina. I’m trying so hard to put my fears aside. I can’t stand the thought of us not being together. It kills me when I think of it. There is that part of me that feels it is inevitable, that one day you are going to come up to me, or call me, or send me an email and tell me that you found yourself, and you are a straight woman or something. It scares the hell out of me.”

Tina reached forward and took hold of each of Bette’s hands. Her thumbs rubbed the back of them as she stared at the same hands that held her body and made love to her not long ago.

“I know you are trying babe. I know you are. Things really suck right now and I am beyond upset at my parents, and this entire situation. I think the only good thing that has come out of it, is that I am in therapy. I mean….yeah, it was something I avoided and didn’t want to do, but once I got there and every session since then I have been learning more and more about myself, what I want, what I need, and what’s best for me.”

Bette didn’t have the ability to be selfish with Tina. She could show her competitive edge and a bit of selfishness quite easily when it came to her academics, sports, and clubs she belonged to. With Tina, she found it quite easy to put her own “wants” aside, but each time Tina said something that had to do with herself and what was best for her, it created an ache deep inside of her. For every “me” or “I,” it was another shadow of doubt cast Bette’s way, about whether she and Tina would truly ever have anything more than a friendship.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

**NEXT DAY**

“So, how did it go?” Alice asked as she stood by Tina’s locker, watching her remove her personal belongings. “I mean, are you guys still together or what?”

“I guess. It’s just so weird…strained ya know?” Tina said, before staring at a picture of her and Bette that she had taped to the back of the locker. “I sometimes think she isn’t trying to understand me enough. Other times, I think I expect too much…my expectations are maybe too demanding or something.”

“Did you tell her about your party?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Shit, she must have had a fit about that.”

“She seemed more hurt than anything. I told her the truth. I told her my Dad wouldn’t want her there, and would probably cause a scene. I told her if she wanted to come to my party, that was okay with me, but to be prepared for Daddy Kennard being an asshole.”

Tina shut the locker door and kept the lock undone on the outside of the door.

“Did she say if she was going to go?”

“No, she didn’t. I don’t plan on hanging around too long anyway. I already told my parents that I have other parties to go to. Johnny is having a big time at his place, and I want to stop over there.”

Alice didn’t like Johnny. He was a big time player, and was rather cocky and stuck up. Perhaps it was her own bias showing through, but she was feeling a bit perturbed that Tina wasn’t even thinking about getting over to Bette’s to spend some time there, if she wanted to get away from the party.

“Johnny is a dickhead.” Alice’s honesty came through hard. “I mean, if you want to consider boys Tina, why do you have to go for the biggest prick in the school?”

Tina arched a brow at Alice. “I happen to like him.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Al…what’s the matter?”

“He’s an ass.”

Tina took hold of the box she would be bringing from the school and started to head out the front doors. “I don’t think so…god, I thought coming from another bi-sexual, you would be able to understand.”

Alice followed behind. “You don’t even know if you are bi Tina. If you are, you could do a better job than Johnny Appleseed.”

“Stop. That’s not his name.”

“Might as well be. No…you’re right, I would be giving him far too much credit.”

Alice’s sarcastic attitude was getting on Tina’s nerves.

“I guess we both have our own taste in men…and women.”

Alice stood still, in one spot as she absorbed that dig. Tina meanwhile, continued to walk down the front walkway to Bette’s car in the lot. Bette got out of her car and took the box from Tina, placing it in the trunk. 

“Thanks.” Tina said, just before getting in Bette’s car.

“You’re welcome.” 

Bette started the car and drove Tina to her house. Her family had gone into the city to take care of a legal matter, and had left her a message that they would be home late.

“Thank you for the ride.”

“It was nothing.” Bette said softly. “I can bring the box into the house if you like?”

“I got it, but thanks.”

Bette opened the trunk and handed Tina the box. 

“I really wish you could come in.” 

“I don’t think that is the best idea.” Bette replied. Her heart wanted nothing more but to feel a closeness with Tina. There was a disconnect definitely present, and she wasn’t sure how to get that back. “Have you decided if you are going to ride with us on Friday or with the guys?”

Tina stood there, searching Bette’s brown eyes. All she could see was impending disappointment. She had actually planned on going with Johnny, but knew that perhaps it wasn’t a good time to throw him up to her. “Uh…I could go with you and the gang…if you wouldn’t mind?”

Bette smiled. She didn’t expect that to be Tina’s response, and when she shared that she wanted to be with her, and with their friends, it instantly caused Bette to react with her killer smile. “That would be great! No I don’t mind at all Tee.”

“Good…it will be fun. I’ll plan on it.”

***********  
FRIDAY**

As the week progressed, Tina hadn’t been with Johnny very much, for he had been absent from school because of the flu. Naturally that didn’t break Bette’s heart too much, for it meant there was more time that was spent with Tina. Tina was able to come up with enough excuses so that her parents would not question where she was. Occasionally, her father would throw an odd question out to her, asking if she had been with Bette. Tina always managed to save her hide when he did so. However, the tension and stress of keeping her stories straight were causing her to stress out even more. She was out of the house early, for the girls made plans to get to Bette’s house and decorate her car for the Senior Release that they were having at 12noon.

“Hey Porter, what the hell is this thing?” Shane asked, picking up an odd looking item from Bette’s garage. “It looks like a dildo gone wrong.”

“It happens to be an old dog toy that Kit couldn’t bear to get rid of when her dog died you smartass.”

The girls took turns using temporary paint, to paint their school name, year, and a few choice sayings that would adorn the car. They were having a moment where their excitement was taking precedence over their other cares and woes, as the realization that they were no longer in school hit them.

“I am SO glad I don’t have to look at purple haired Crosby anymore.” Shane shared as she taped some streamers to the back bumper.

“No kidding. That hair dye was just wrong.” Alice added, followed by a strong laugh. “Dane…do you remember the day you were late for class, and she didn’t have her glasses? She thought you were JoAnne?”

“Do you have to go there? JoAnne was a beast! I look nothing like JoAnne.” Dana began to argue an old and meaningless point. “I mean, Shrek could have walked in the damn classroom and she would have thought it was me.”

Bette laughed. “Come on Dana, she wasn’t that bad. I kind of liked her.”

Tina looked up from the window she was writing on and smiled towards Bette. “That’s cause she had admired your book cover…that Van Gogh cover you use to have on your Economics book.”

“Geez Tee, give me a little more credit than that.” Bette volleyed back.

Tina came up behind Bette and slid her hands around her waist. “I can give you a lot more credit if we head up to your room.” She whispered in Bette’s ear.

Bette closed her eyes a moment, trying hard to ignore the blonde’s warm breath that just tantalized her senses.

“No one is home at the moment.” Tina slid her thumb inside the edge of Bette’s shorts. “I never got to make love to you the other night…how about it?”

Alice looked over and noticed the scene taking place towards the back of the car. “Uh…you two…you-who…um…over here. We have something to get done so we can get to school and drive around like maniacs!”

Bette couldn’t hear Alice even if she tried. Once again, she was under the spell of one, Tina Kennard. She turned around to face Tina, placing her hands on Tina’s hips.

“You’re right…no one is home. They won’t be home until this afternoon.”

Tina arched a brow as she slid her hands on both sides of Bette’s neck. “So, what are we waiting for?”

Bette looked over at Shane, who nodded to go for it. When she looked to Alice, she didn’t get quite the same reaction.

“Oh come on guys, I want to get to the school so that we can have fun! This IS our final day…early release….get to go a little wild! You guys can have sex any time.”

Tina looked over at Alice. “That’s not true. Our intimate time has to be scheduled. We aren’t fortunate to just do it anywhere. It’s not like Bette can come over to my house. Give us a break.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “This stinks. It’s not going to be any fun without Porter there smoking her tires in the parking lot.”

Bette was engaged with Tina. Her eyes doing a bit of soul searching, and there is nothing she would rather do more, than make love to Tina. She looked over at the girls and reached into her pocket to retrieve her car keys. “Shane, I’m going to trust you completely. Take my car to the school, and when they release you guys, just swing by here and get me and Tina.” Bette threw her keys to Shane.

“Really? Cool. Plan on us doing a drive by around 12:15.”

“Okay.”

Bette and Tina bolted towards the house like there was a bag of money waiting inside for them.

“Damn…those two have been like horndogs lately,” Dana volunteered her opinion. 

“Well, Tina has to figure out what she wants right? The pussy or the penis.” Alice remarked sarcastically. 

“I think you’re jealous.” Dana said as she picked up the remnants of crepe paper. “I was MORE than willing last night, but someone wanted nothing more but to watch that damn ugly green guy.”

“Hey, back off the green guy. I don’t mind having a little fun in a theatre when the movie is boring, but I’m not about to do that during my Shrek movie.”

Dana and Shane looked at one another behind Alice’s back.

“I know what you are both doing, so stop it.” Alice whined.

************************  
INSIDE BETTE’S ROOM**

As Bette and Tina entered the bedroom, Bette kicked the door closed behind her, not wanting to break their kiss in the least. The urgency was definitely present in the way they both flung their clothes off in such haste, while stealing kisses in between.

Bette was feeling slightly better in recent days, as she had spent a little more time than usual with Tina, especially since Johnny had been sick, and during that time they had appeared to be reconnecting. She was pretty sure that after this morning, Tina might find even more fulfillment in their relationship.

“Mmm…god you’re so fucking hot” Tina expressed into Bette’s lips as she kissed her.

Once they were both naked, Bette encouraged Tina towards her bed. Tina lay back onto the bed, crawling back towards the center at the same time Bette moved along with her. Tina spread her legs open wide as Bette kneeled between them, keeping her upper torso hovering above Tina, in a rather dominant way. 

Bette brought her tongue from her mouth and slowly licked her lips before descending to Tina’s lips. Once they touched, Tina’s hands found Bette’s back. She dragged her nails up and down, creating a trail of goosebumps, stopping only to press her nails into Bette’s skin in response to the insatiable feelings Bette’s mouth was creating on her body. She had easily journeyed from Tina’s lips to her neck, collarbone, and ultimately her breast.

“Mmmmm……that feels so good.” Tina expressed.

Bette loved feeling reassurance for her efforts. It meant so much more and for different reasons now, than it had before. She brought her mouth from Tina’s breast, and looked into her eyes. Tina’s expression showed disappointment at the severed moment.

“I have a surprise for you.” 

Tina searched Bette’s eyes for some revelation. She didn’t have a clue what the surprise was, and tried hard to think of what it could be. Perhaps it was the way in which Bette had said it. She wasn’t completely hyped up or excited, it was said with a sturdy and all knowing manner…..


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

Bette leaned down and kissed Tina’s neck, rolling her tongue in small circles as she teased her. “I love you,” she expressed into the skin as she kissed her.

Tina arched her head to the side, feeling Bette’s nipples graze the skin on her chest. “Mmmm…I love you too.”

Tina’s eyes were glossed over with need and desire. She had almost forgotten what Bette had said about a surprise that she had for her. “What’s my surprise baby?” Tina growled through her desire.

Bette brought her lips to Tina’s and kissed her hard before pulling back and staring into her crystal blue eyes.

“Do you want to see?” Bette’s eyes were equally inviting as she asked for confirmation.

“Of course I do.”

Bette stood from the bed and went to her closet where she kept her back to Tina. She was both excited and hopeful that Tina would appreciate her idea, while also feeling a little embarrassed and uneasy because she never had engaged like this before.

“What are you doing?” Tina inquired, sitting up in the bed now to try to sneak a peek.

“You’ll see,” Bette replied, her hands nervously taking hold of the items.

With the dildo and harness in hand, Bette turned back towards the bed. She pushed the dildo through the leather hole and began to strap it on herself. As she did, she looked at Tina to gauge her interest.

“Um…I know what it is, but why do you have that?” Tina inquired, her expression rather serious.

Bette was maneuvering the straps around her upper thighs. “I figured it would be something you would like.”

“How long have you had this?” Tina’s tone was undecided in terms of her interest.

Bette snapped one of the side clips and tightened it. “I just bought it. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Shane had to call one of the girls she knows that works at Sheer Pleasure, and I had to go in on a night the manager wasn’t working.”

Tina put her hand to her forehead. “Oh my god, Shane knows you bought this?”

Bette stepped closer to the bed. She felt a little awkward with this unsubtle projection but decided to just suck it up, as she knew it was as close to being with a man as Tina could get, without having to really be with one.

“It’s okay, really. She isn’t going to say something.”

Bette kneeled back onto the bed as Tina stared down at the rubber protrusion. She was very hesitant. They had never used toys in bed, and if it were something simple, she may have had no problem. This however, felt a little invasive, strangely enough.

“I…I don’t know Bette. This isn’t what our sex has been about. We just don’t do it this way.”

Bette leaned down and kissed Tina’s breast, her lips surrounding Tina’s nipple, licking it once before she replied. “I know we don’t. However, you aren’t sure about things Tee. This might help you decide if you are into something like this, without having to dive into--”

Tina cut Bette off. “Is that what this is about? About the fact I am confused?”

Bette was surprised at Tina’s defensive reaction. “I just thought it would help, that’s all.”

“Help? Help with what? Do you think that a rubber toy is the answer I am searching for? My god Bette, what were you thinking?” Tina had gone from zero to a hundred on the emotional scale.

“Tee, you don’t have to get so upset. We don’t NEED to use this, I was just trying to help you make a decision, that’s all.”

Tina scooted her body to the end of the bed and stood up, leaving Bette kneeling there.

“That…that thing….” Tina pointed at the dildo, her finger shaking along with her words. “…it is so callous of you to think that you can fix me…that you can simplify my problem by strapping on some fucking toy Bette. Do you honestly think my problem is that superficial, that you can just buy a fucking rubber dick and I can make a decision about what I want in my life?”

Bette was stunned. She felt defeated, in a way which was exhausting. She unclipped the harness and pulled the leather from her legs. She rested the straps and dildo on the bed as she watched Tina get dressed, tears streaming down her face which had now turned pink.

“I’m sorry. I honestly thought I was doing something right.”

“You don’t understand. No one understands what its like okay? The friends I am closest to are all lesbians, who know only one way. Alice is the only one who is bisexual, and she can’t seem to help me understand it all either. Our sex was what it has always been. I never expected you to change it up, thinking that you could figure it out for me. If it was that easy, don’t you think half of the therapists would be out of business?”

Tina touched on a sore spot. Bette didn’t care very much for the way the therapist had addressed a lot of Tina’s concerns, and it wasn’t a secret to Tina either, how Bette felt.

“Don’t even start about the therapist Tee. I don’t feel she is the right one for you anyway. I know you have to do the work, but I wonder about the things she offers you as she motivates you to do that work.”

Tina was very defensive of her therapist. “She is a damn good therapist, and has made me think outside of the box that I have been in Bette. I’m sorry that in doing so, it means that you feel threatened.”

Tina’s words were harsh and direct.

“You think she is helping you to think outside of the box huh? Think back for a moment Tina and look at how your life was before your parents found everything out. We were fine. We were all set to go to the same school, and maintain our relationship. Suddenly, your parents find out, they freak, your in therapy, and now you may or may not want to be with a woman. If that isn’t fucking with your mind I don’t know what is.”

“Well it’s my mind to fuck with. I don’t need you adding to it.”

“I’m adding to it?” Bette was offended. “Good to know.”

Bette scooted off the bed and threw her clothes on in haste. Tina realized her words were a little harsh, but she was so cranked up, she didn’t care to take it down a few notches.

“I think we are both adding to one another’s shit at this point to be honest.” Tina offered, showing a little bit of her own responsibility in the disruption that had taken place in their relationship in recent weeks.

“I’m sorry, but I have been trying so very hard. I have been reaching deep to find patience, and to be understanding. I have disregarded so much of myself to try to be all that I can be to you. It’s never enough Tina. Every time I turn around to do something that I think you would like, or that might help you as you make some decisions and go on this journey, it ends up coming back on me, and it ends up being all my fault.”

“I NEVER asked you to change a thing. I never asked you to disregard yourself. I have only asked for patience.”

“Don’t you see, there are some things that you don’t need to actually ask, but you are anyway.”

“I don’t want to fight, just take me home, please.” Tina attempted to shorten the conversation.

“I’m not fighting, I’m just trying to relay how things have changed between us, and I have tried to adapt to those changes in a way which would result in as less pain possible.”

“I just want to go home.” Tina repeated. 

Bette finished tying her sneaker as she sat on the edge of the bed. Tina was standing only a few feet from the bed, her arms folded as she waited.

“Why don’t we just talk. Don’t you want to try to work this out?”

“I’m far too upset to think of working anything out right now. The more we get into the bullshit, the more this lifestyle doesn’t seem to be my fit.”

Bette raised both her brows, stunned and surprised by Tina coming to such an irrational conclusion. “Are you disregarding our entire relationship, and its “fit” because things are a little challenging right now?”

“No, I’m not, but things have been crummy lately.”

“No kidding!” Bette raised her voice. “But put it in perspective, it hasn’t been like that the entire time we have been together.”

“I realize that, but it is now, and because it is now it sucks.”

Bette felt her feelings not only getting hurt further, but also felt that Tina wasn’t being very fair.

“I cannot believe that you can so easily dismiss all the good times we shared.” Bette became more loud.

“Don’t yell at me.” Tina 

“I’m not yelling AT you, I’m just yelling!” Bette returned, feeling her emotions escalate.

“No shit! This is what I am talking about! With women there is so much dyke drama. I don’t need that Bette. I just want stability. I don’t want to deal with emotional bullshit anymore. Look around, with women that is all it’s about. There is jealousy and obsession and unhealthy boundaries. I’d much rather just deal with something less complex that a man can offer. They don’t get into all the emotional shit like women do”

“Sure Tina, less emotional is the answer.” Bette threw the apparatus in the box and then slid it to the back of her closet. 

“That’s right. I want an easy going lifestyle where I am accepted by society and I don’t need to have some woman in my life who challenges me.”

“Sounds like your looking for simplicity” Bette said, making no effort to hide the sarcasm behind her words. “Well, if that’s what you want, then go find yourself some man who can offer you that stability, and less emotional uncomplicated life.”

Bette had reached her boiling point. In her eyes, this relationship was done. She had not given up on it easily, and she would remind herself of that in the days that followed. She would pull from what she had tolerated, allowed, and embraced as she looked back, and it all came back to the same thing. She did everything she could to accommodate Tina. Whether that was remaining quiet about their relationship, going back into the closet when she had been living outwardly, having patience as Tina see sawed back and forth on what she had wanted, all the way to going to the store to buy something even she wasn’t entirely comfortable using, but was prepared to if it meant she was meeting Tina’s needs. Bette put so much of her own self aside, to please Tina in so many ways. After this incident, it was like that final straw. She never thought she could get to that point, but the callous and stinging words which were used, was too much. Everyone has a breaking point, and Bette reached hers.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

Tina walked out of the Bette’s house, leaving Bette in the bedroom. Once outside, she dialed Alice.

“Hello.”

“Can you guys come get me?” Tina’s voice was shaky. “I’m at Bette’s.”

“We just got to the school. I thought we were coming back after they released us early?”

Tina felt the warm tears begin to stream down her face. “That was the plan, things changed. Please come back and get me.” 

“Um, okay. What’s wrong Tee? Are you okay?”

“I just want to get out of here, please Al.”

“Okay, Okay we’ll be there.”

Alice flipped the phone shut and turned down the radio. Shane had been singing along and stopped when Alice turned the radio.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Shane reached for the knob.

“We have to go back to Bette’s.”

“What?”

“Why?” Dana inquired.

“That was Tina, she sounded upset. She wants us to go back and pick her up.”

“We are already here now.” Shane returned. “I thought they were having sex?”

“I doubt it, not unless they fucked like rabbits and had a quickie,” Alice said, looking down at her watch to figure how much time they would have had. “Dana and I will go to our home rooms, and you can just go back and pick her up.”

“Bette has my car keys. Why can’t she just take Tina to the school?”

“Shane, I don’t know. I guess if Tee is calling us, she doesn’t want Bette to do that.”

“Well what the fuck is going on now? I wish Tina would just make up her fucking mind instead of dicking Bette around.”

Both of the girls were taken back by Shane’s emotional eruption. They hadn’t discussed a lot in terms of where each of them stood, and it was clear by Shane’s outburst, that Tina had gotten on her nerves. She loved both of them very much, and she always placed their relationship high on a pedestal, but it seemed she was ready to kick that pedestal out from underneath them. 

“Um…we don’t know that is what happened Shaney.” Alice tried a soft and comforting approach. 

“I don’t need to know for sure Al. If she is calling us to go back and get her, when my car is right there and Bette can drive it, you know its all about Bette again. I’m sorry, but from what I can see, she has been a spoiled brat that has just wanted to manipulate Bette into being her little side toy while she figures out what the hell she wants.”

“Hold on, no one put a gun to Bette’s head.” Alice shot back. “Bette is a big girl. She could have walked away a few times. Hell, Tina tried to break up with her once because she didn’t think it was fair to keep their relationship going for 3 months. Bette was okay with it remember?”

“So? That means that during the three months she loses a piece of herself every day? What happened to her pride? What happened to her self respect?”

Dana could see that Shane and Alice were divided on this. Shane wasn’t going to give Tina any slack anymore, and Alice was trying to see things with a little more balance.

“All I am saying, is that Bette made a decision to be with Tina under the terms that Tina gave her. She did find out that Tina went to meet her the other night to break up with her and she was still okay with that remember? I mean, come on Shane, Bette could have easily just walked away then, but she didn’t.”

Shane pushed her hand through her hair. She was getting more irritated with Alice trying to justify Tina’s behavior. “She didn’t because she LOVE’S her Al!!” Shane shouted.

“Okay you two, the last thing we all need to do is to be getting in one another’s faces over Bette and Tina’s relationship. We are friends with both of them, and it isn’t right to start taking sides.”

“We’re not!” Alice countered. 

“Al, you are…both of you are. It’s shallow and immature to start picking sides. What happens between Bette and Tina are between them and it is none of our business.”

“I’m not picking her up,” Shane said firmly. “If she is so desperate to get to the school, or home or wherever she wants, then she can have Bette take her. This is fucked up to think I’m going to go back and get her.”

“Shane! She is expecting us!” Alice was stunned at Shane being so firm. “Let me drive the car then and I’ll go get her.”

“Alice, you are acting like she is in danger where she is. Let them work it out!” Shane returned. “I’m not letting you just drive Bette’s car either. She lent it to me, and I’m responsible for it.”

Alice wasn’t pleased. She got out of the car where Shane had it parked on the school grounds, and slammed the door. She stood outside of it and dialed Tina back.

“Hello”

“Tee…um…we are already at the school and all. Um…can Bette maybe just drive you here?”

“I don’t want to ask her Alice. Why can’t Shane just come back and get me?”

Alice didn’t want to cause any rift between them, but at the same time she also knew she had to tell Tina something, because she was going to be expecting them to return for her.

“She…..well she wasn’t feeling so well so she is in the bathroom at the school now. She won’t let us drive Bette’s car cause Bette gave only her permission to drive it.”

Tina wasn’t stupid. She knew that Shane loved them both, but she was always a little more partial to Bette. She had a pretty good inclination that Shane was drawing a line in the sand.

“Do you honestly think I believe that line Al?”

“I’m sorry Tee,” was about all Alice could utter. 

***********  
BETTE’S**

Tina sat on the hood of Shane’s car, her head in her hands. She opened her cell phone and scrolled down to Johnny’s name. She hit send and brought the phone to her ear.

“Hey.”

“Hi, it’s Tina.”

“Hey babe, what’s up?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. I’m going to be picking up Rich soon so we can drive around like maniacs when they officially release us from school.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m not far from his house, why?”

“Can you do me a big favor?” Tina asked, sliding off the hood of the car.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Can you come by Bette’s house and pick me up? It’s a long story, I just need to get out of here.”

“Bette’s house? Damn I’m not far from her house at all, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Thank you SOOOO much.” Tina said, her desperation clearly showing in her voice.

“No worries babe, see you soon.”

Tina flipped the phone shut just as Bette was coming out of the side door. She didn’t look at her. Instead she looked at the ground, her arms folded. Bette approached the car.

“What are you going to do, wait out here until Shane swings back to get us?”

“No, Johnny’s coming to get me.”

Bette arched her brow. “Johnny? You called Johnny to come and get you? Is there a problem with my taking you to school, or just hanging here until Shane came back?”

Tina remained silent.

“You’re kidding me Tina? I don’t know what the hell you have expected of me!” Bette felt herself getting emotional again, and she didn’t want to do so. She did not want to give Tina any more ammunition to say she was too emotional. She tried hard to hide her emotions. “So, this is it huh?”

Tina felt her face flush. She too was feeling emotional, particularly when Bette asked that last question. “I guess so.” She muttered softly.

“You’re angry with me over….over everything. You seem upset at what I am, and what I am not. I just can’t seem to get it right with you Tee. I have tried so hard, and no matter what I do, I just don’t seem to ever reach that place….where…..” Bette felt herself getting more emotional. “,,,forget it, it doesn’t matter now anyway.” 

Bette turned back towards her house and up the stairs just as Johnny pulled into the driveway. Once inside the house, she looked through the sheer curtains and watched as the girl she had loved more than anything in the world got into Johnny’s car and drove away with him. Bette knew that going back wasn’t ever going to be an option. It was all going to be about moving forward now.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30  
 **  
LATER**

Bette had fallen asleep on top of her bed, her face resting on the bedspread that was damp from the tears she had shed not long before. She had not heard the knocks at the front door, and nor did she hear the doorbell. 

“Bette, where the hell are you?” Shane whispered to herself. Her concern was rising as she frantically pulled her cell phone from her pocket.

******************  
DANA’S HOUSE**

“Alice, why don’t you stay for dinner?” Dana’s mother had already begun to set another plate at the table before waiting for a reply.

“Um…okay. I’ll just call my parents and let them know I won’t be home.”

Alice phoned her house, and spoke to her father. She came back into the kitchen from the porch and joined Dana and her family at the table.

“It smells great Mrs. Fairbanks “

“Thank you. I hope you like it. It’s a brand new recipe I’m trying out.”

“Oh great, we’re the scapegoats now.” Dana joked.

“You never complained about any of the other new recipe’s I made.” 

Dana smiled at her mother then glanced over at Alice and winked. Dana’s parents were not aware of how “close” of friends Alice and their daughter were, so they tried to monitor themselves when they were in their presence.

“Where’s the bro?” Dana asked.

“He went with Josh and his parents to see a soccer game.” Mrs. Fairbanks brought the bowl of rice to the table, setting it down on a trivet. “Before I forget, do you remember last week, Mr. Covell had called from the Weil Tennis Academy?”

“Yeah, why? Did he call again?”

“Well he said that he had an offer to discuss with us.”

“Really?” Dana’s interest peaked, as did Alice’s. “Wow! Did he say which school?”

“He did.”

Dana waited on edge. “Well???”

Mrs. Fairbanks smiled as she looked over at her husband to continue.

“It looks like you have quite a few offers Dana. You have one that came in from Notre Dame, which looked pretty good…..”

Dana sighed. Notre Dame was not going to keep her close to her friends.

“Who else?”

“..Um…Duke, UCLA, Stanford….”

At least Stanford was where Bette was going, which at least would keep her within about 40 miles of Alice, and 45 miles of Shane.

“Good, I choose Stanford.” Dana quickly replied.

“Stanford?” Mr. Fairbanks frowned, for Dana had not even considered what the offers were. “I’m not finished Dana.”

“Oh…sorry.”

“Joe said that Berkley had just come in this afternoon.”

Alice’s eyes lit up, and she couldn’t help but pipe in. “Berkley? Berkley wants her?”

“Yes, it appears so.”

“Hot Damn! I can go to the same school as Al!” Dana was all smiles.

“I hope this doesn’t sound terrible, no offense to you Alice, but Dana, I think that you need to consider what the schools are willing to offer you, and which is the best in terms of your education and career opportunities that will follow. Making a choice just to go to a school where your friends are, isn’t the most responsible or wisest.”

Mr. Fairbanks’ opinion was raw, and deflated Alice’s happy expression relatively quickly, soon followed by Dana’s.

Dana reached. “But Berkley is a great school Dad.”

“It is, and it may end up proving to be the final choice too Dana. I’m just trying to teach you that you need to think about the decisions with your head and not with emotion. At the same time, I want to be sure you also have some active involvement in the decision as well.”

Dana was hopeful, for her father had not completely dismissed Berkley, or the fact that what she was interested in should factor in as well.

************  
BETTE’S**

“Hello”

“Hey it’s Shane.”

“Hi.” Bette’s speech was forced, the sleep present in her voice. “What time is it?”

“It’s 530pm.” Shane answered. “I’m outside your house.”

“You are?”

Bette slowly scooted off the bed and looked out her bedroom window. She saw that her car now joined Shane’s in the driveway.

“Are you going to let me in?”

“Sure, hold on a minute, I’ll be right down.”

“Okay.”

Bette looked at herself in the bedroom mirror. She picked at her hair a moment, then wiped away a bit of mascara that had smeared from her tears. On her way downstairs, she felt numb and empty. She was missing Tina already, and knew this wasn’t going to be easy for her in the least. She opened the side door, and went outside.

“Hey.”

“Hey. What were you doing? Sleeping?” Shane asked.

“Yeah, I was tired.”

Both Shane and Bette sat on the top step. 

Shane was aware that she wasn’t going to likely get much from Bette unless she pushed. “What happened today…with you and Tina?” 

Bette felt on the edge. She didn’t want to talk about it, for she feared she would just burst out in tears. She also was one that didn’t think talking about her problems with someone would help anything. She was the one to figure stuff out and do the work, at least that was what she learned from Melvin.

“I’m not feeling very much like talking about it.”

“Come on Bette. It’s me, Shane. I’m not going to judge you. To be honest, it’s been hard to sit back and watch just what this relationship you have with her has been doing to you. You haven’t been yourself at all and I don’t like it.”

“I haven’t really changed, and if I did, I did that myself. Tina never asked me to.”

“Okay, that’s good. BUT, at the same time, she gets so fucking self absorbed Bette, that she cannot see beyond herself and what she wants. That isn’t a relationship, that is manipulation.”

Bette was not comfortable with Shane talking the way she was. “Please don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Bad mouth her.”

“I’m saying it how I see it Bette. You know me to be a person who shoots from the hip. You have been her puppet, and although I do sympathize that she is in therapy trying to figure out how and if the abuse has affected her sexuality and stuff, there has been no need to string you along. She has manipulated you, to the point where you haven’t even seen it happening anymore.”

“Well…we don’t have to worry too much about it now. We broke up this morning.”

Shane was surprised. She had assumed that Bette and Tina has just had a falling out. She hadn’t heard anything drift back to her from any of the gang that this had occurred. On one hand she felt empathy for Bette, but on the other, she also felt that Bette did not deserve to be caught in this state of limbo that was filled with so much conflict and uncertainty.

“Wow…I…Jesus, Bette…I don’t know what to say.”

“Nothing. There isn’t a thing to say.”

“Why? I mean, what caused that to happen? We left you two this morning and everything seemed to be okay with you both. I was surprised when she called us to come and get her so soon afterwards.”

Bette looked from the ground to Shane. “She called you?”

“She called Alice. She said to come back and get her. Alice said she had sounded a bit upset.”

“But…but Johnny came and got her.”

Shane offered a sarcastic chuckle. “Figures…she must have called him up when Alice had told her I wasn’t coming back to get her.”

“You refused to come get her?” Bette was pretty surprised. “Why?”

“To be honest, I was pissed. I was tired of Tina always getting what Tina wants. I’m tired of sitting back and watching what she is doing to you.”

“Shaney, it doesn’t sit so well with me that you are taking sides. I’m a big girl. I didn’t have to stay with Tina.”

Shane looked with loving eyes at her dear friend. “Bette, I know you too well. You love her with all that you are. When you love someone like that, you sometimes end up doing some crazy shit just to make them happy. You end up putting up with shit you probably never would have if that love wasn’t so deep.”

Bette knew Shane was right. There were plenty of women she would have thrown to the side if they ever tried something like this. Tina…well Tina was different.

“I love her.”

“I know you do. But you can love her with everything you are Bette, and if she doesn’t want that love, or she needs to discover some stuff about herself, then it just doesn’t work, no matter how much love you have for her.”

“I know this.”

“Look, I’m not mad at Tina for feeling like she needs to discover things about her past, and how they may play into her life now, or later. What I am upset over, is that she just wants the best of both worlds, and is making up a ton of excuses as to why she is kind of sitting in one place with no movement. I mean, come on Bette, you could see that couldn’t you? She wanted to keep you in her life, committed to just her, and also be with that jerk and sample something else all simultaneously. It was wrong.”

Bette wasn’t going to make it all about Tina. “I didn’t have to agree to it.”

“Did you even get a chance to agree? Because in my eyes I didn’t see that you were given much of a choice.”

“I wasn’t tied to something. I could have walked at any time.”

“She knew you wouldn’t. She has felt you would always be there. You are that kind of person.”

“Still…she didn’t force me to be anywhere that I had not chose to be.”

Shane knew that she was not going to be able to convince Bette, that Tina’s behavior border lined wrong, and selfish as well.

“I’m not sure we will agree on this one,” Shane offered.

“I just don’t want any of you to blame her. It’s just that it is, what it is.”

Shane was silent a moment before she continued. “So what happened? Was the fight this morning about the dildo?”

Bette took a deep breath in and exhaled it slowly, looking down at her sneakers and studying the pattern before answering. “It was. She was completely insulted Shane. She felt I was minimizing the conflict and pain that she is struggling with. She looked at it like I was throwing some rubber dick at her to “fix” her or something. That was never what I intended to do. You know that right?”

“Of course I know it.” Shane reassured her. “I actually thought it would be something she might find a little helpful too.”

“Maybe I didn’t give it as much thought as I should have.”

The last thing Shane wanted now, was for Bette to begin to take on more than she should. “Don’t even think of going there. Bette, you did more than enough for Tina. You did more than most girls would have done. I can tell you that I would not have had the patience you had. I wouldn’t have been able to be told the shit she told you. Like it or not, it has all been about Tina. What about you and how you felt about everything?”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Bette said solemnly. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Shane knew that it was time to let it go. She placed her hand at the middle part of Bette’s back and just rubbed it lightly. “Okay…we won’t talk about it, unless you decide you want to.”

“Thank you.” Bette said softly. 

A silence developed, as their senses drifted towards external noise that the traffic, birds, and number of unidentified sounds were making. The need to verbally communicate wasn’t necessary, for both knew that there wasn’t much the other could do or say to change what was. Life had several chapters, and this would be a time in their lives, that one chapter would be closing while another would soon open. It may not have been the way either of them expected that chapter to close, but rather than challenge how the book of life was written, it was best to embrace that life has brought them where they were meant to be.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

The rest of the week, the girls had checked in on Bette to see how she was doing. Shane had explained to both Alice and Dana, that Bette was not in a place yet where she was wanting to really talk about things, so what little interaction they had, they were careful not to mention Tina. When the weekend arrived, she was a little more “up” than she had been, but she wasn’t back to herself in any way. It was going to take her a lot of time to get over this one. This blonde girl had wrapped herself around the strings of Bette’s heart, and it was going to be quite some time before Bette would get over her. 

Bette had placed the graduation gown in the backseat, followed by her cap and tassel. She had mixed feelings about this day, for it would close a big part of what she had known her life to be, the last 13 years in an academic setting. In the Fall she would embark on a new chapter, and a whole new form of academics. She felt the summer was going to be quite strange, sort of a place where she was in limbo. Yes, the summer would be that bridge between her academics, and she hoped that she would be able to somehow find a form of peace with the loss of her high school love. 

As Bette pulled into the school parking lot, Shane was already parked there sitting on the roof of her car talking to Jill. Bette pulled in the space beside her.

“Hey Bette”

“Hi Shane. Hi Jill.”

“Hey.” Jill replied as she caressed Shane.

Shane and Bette had gotten even closer in recent days. She had become a rock for Bette, as she helped her keep things in perspective. She knew she would probably be forced to face Tina at the graduation ceremony itself, but she didn’t plan on going out of her way to reach out either.

As Bette got out of her car to join Shane and Jill, Alice screamed into the parking lot with her mini cooper. She pulled up in the other space aside of Shane’s car, her radio blasting.

“What the hell is that on her face?” Shane questioned.

Jill and Bette looked over at Alice, and painted on her face, was female genitals. Dana was the first out of the car. “Do NOT even ask,” Dana said, looking at the girls and then back to Alice.

“Hey Girls! Can you believe we are out of this fucking place!?” Alice shrieked as she closed her car door.

“Al…is there a reason you have a pussy on your face?” Bette asked.

Shane had bust out laughing, the way Bette boldly posed the question. The laughter was soon joined by Jill.

“Isn’t that the best place to have one Porter?” Alice snipped. “I mean, who would have thought a nose would have made a good looking clit eh?”

Bette studied Alice’s face. Her nose was just that, it was suppose to represent a woman’s clit, while her mouth was the vagina. The facial paint emphasized a lot of details, including some pubic hair as well. She shook her head and then just succumbed to the laughter. “Only you Pieszecki.”

Although their friend could be one extreme and eccentric girl, Shane was thrilled to see a smile grace Bette’s face.

As the girls wound down their laughter, their attention was drawn to the loud car that had entered the lot. It wouldn’t require too much attention to know who it was, for his flashy car usually caught most of the kids’ attention.

“Hey butthead!” Scott yelled from the parking lot to his friend. “When your girlfriend gets bored of you, let her know I’m always available.”

“Fat chance dude.” Johnny yelled out his driver window. “There’s no way in hell she’ll get bored man.”

Shane felt her face go warm. If she could hear the unimpressive dialogue, there wasn’t any doubt that Bette could too. She was trying hard to avoid showing that she heard a thing, and her friends tried hard to create a distraction.

“So Shaney, I thought for sure you would do something pretty wild.” Alice poked fun at Shane as she folded her arms and glanced over at Johnny’s car, which had now parked in a space only 15 feet from them.

As the girls tried hard to engage Bette’s attention, their mission was brought to an end abruptly by Tina, who had walked over to them.

“Hey.”

“Hi Tee.” Alice said, glancing at Bette who had appeared quite uncomfortable. 

Tina couldn’t help but laugh at Alice’s face painting. “So you Al.”

“Yeah, I thought so.” Alice replied.

“Hi Tina.” Dana offered.

Shane had intentionally turned her back so she was facing Jill. She was not prepared to offer a friendly greeting. Tina looked over at Bette who had tried to look beyond Tina to the distance behind her. She studied Bette carefully. There was no doubt that Tina still felt something for Bette, but it was different. Things were less complex without being involved with both a girl and boy at the same time. Life was taking her and Bette in different directions anyway in a few months, so in her mind, her decision was a logical one.

“Hi.” Tina said softly, as her eyes searched for Bette’s.

Bette had no choice, but to either look at Tina and be cordial, or simply walk away. As much as her brain told her to turn back for her car, her heart spoke something so much more stronger and powerful. At this young age, love always seemed to control Bette Porter’s decisions more than logic itself.

“Hi.” Bette replied, her eyes now occupying Tina’s.

“How are you?” Tina asked with significant trepidation.

“Fine.” Bette quickly responded.

Tina knew Bette well enough to know that it was only a word said, the meaning behind it compromised.

Dana whispered to Alice. “Let’s go.”

Alice remained fixated on the weak dialogue that was taking place before her. Dana repeated her words, adding a gentle tug. “Come on.”

As Alice and Dana walked a few feet away, Shane and Jill soon joined them as well. They all looked over at the two girls that they thought would love one another forever. How they joked about what fun it would be to attend their wedding one day. So many unattained dreams, would forever fall into the abyss of the past. 

Bette was hurt. Having Tina standing this close to her, smelling that familiar scent, her skin, her perfume. It was too much for her to handle. It was too much for her to sit among her peers and await her name to be called, then walk to the podium and flash a smile leading people to think that she was happy on this day. She wasn’t happy, not at all, and she didn’t think she could go through graduation ceremonies. It had taken a long time for her parents to motivate her, for she knew she would be facing Tina on this day.

“I…I want to apologize for being so harsh with you. I was upset, and …I didn’t look at what you had done as something being offered out of a kind gesture. I was …well I was embarrassed and I was extremely surprised. This hasn’t been an easy road in the least…for either of us.”

Bette remained quiet. She couldn’t seem to bring herself to say much. Within a few minutes, Johnny came over to both of them. He slipped his hand around Tina’s waist. The girls had noticed this, and had already started to walk towards them.

“Hey Bette.” Johnny said with a smile.

Bette glanced down at Johnny’s hand which had rested on Tina’s hip. This contact, as minute and unimportant as it was, still was too much for Bette to witness. She looked from him to Tina, then back to him. “Go fuck yourself Johnny.” With that, Bette turned towards her car, and once inside, slammed her door shut.

Shane ran over to the driver’s window and leaned in. “Where you going?”

“I need to leave.” Bette said as she struggled to control the water that had quickly built up in her eyes.

“Wait…hold on. Let me come with you.”

“No...please…I want to be alone.”

Shane wouldn’t listen. She ran to the passengers side of the car and took a seat. “Do not leave. You deserve to be here just as much as she does. Don’t run from this Bette. Don’t let her have that control over you.”

“What the fuck is wrong with her?” Johnny asked, completely oblivious to the relationship that Tina and Bette shared.

Tina struggled for a moment. She hadn’t given Johnny’s gesture a thought until she seen Bette’s eyes take it in, then react to it so quickly. A part of her wanted to go to her, and yet she also knew it would accomplish nothing. She stood paralyzed in the one spot she was in.

“You know, your timing really sucks,” Alice said as she walked past Johnny to Bette’s car.

Johnny was shocked by the face painting. “Did you see that? What the fuck was that?”

Dana allowed Shane and Alice a moment with Bette as she stood next to Tina and Johnny.

“What happened?” Dana asked.

Johnny remained confused and stunned. “I just said hi to her and she told me to fuck myself.”

Tina was feeling extremely uncomfortable with her friends swarming to Bette. It was clear that they were not going to accept Johnny and therefore her either. She was saddened by that thought, but knew that as a close knit group like they were, it was bound to happen that lines would be drawn. She had hoped it wouldn’t have come to that, but as things seemed to progress more with her and Johnny, everything was becoming more distant between her and the gang.

*******  
LATER

The graduation ceremonies had proceeded without incident. The girls weren’t located too close to one another, except for Alice and Bette, who had been seated a few seats away from the other. Shane had a long talk with Bette and convinced her to attend the ceremony, for she deserved to be there accepting her diploma just as much as Tina. It was very hard for Bette, for the emotions that filled her mind that afternoon had been overwhelming. She was grateful the ceremony was located outdoors this year, for the sunglasses would not only shield the sun, but also the bloodshot and puffy eyes, a result of the tears she had shed while in her car. Following the ceremony, everyone had gone their separate ways, except for Shane and Bette. They remained together. She followed Bette to her house, where she left her car, and then joined Shane in hers.

“I’m proud of you.” Shane offered as she backed out of Bette’s driveway. “I know that staying was really hard.”

“Why the fuck did she have to show up with that dickhead? I mean, she couldn’t just go to graduation without having him right there?”

“I don’t know why.” 

Shane knew that now that the initial tears were long dried up, Bette was moving into the next emotion….anger.

“Does she need to stick it in my face?”

Shane didn’t say a thing. If she said exactly what was on her mind, it would probably only fuel things further for Bette. It was best she remain a good listener at this time.

“I mean, I did everything I could to understand, to have patience, to give her time. But she didn’t even try. She didn’t…god damn it!” Bette yelled as she slammed her hand down on the armrest between them.

“Shhhh…I know it’s hard right now. I know that you feel very lost and abandoned. Bette, I’m not a really great person to try to say the right things here. I am very angry too. You are my friend, and I don’t like to see you feel so much pain.”

“I feel so used Shane.”

“I’m sure you do. However, I will say that I don’t think that was Tina’s intent. God…I can’t believe I’m actually saying something in her defense.” Shane surprised herself. “I’m just saying that I really don’t look at it that Tina used you Bette. I think you know that in your heart.”

Bette didn’t respond to Shane’s view. Deep in her heart, she hoped she would find that peace to believe that. At this moment, she just felt quite trashy as she thought back to how many times she allowed herself to cave into Tina’s needs, desires; thinking sex was going to answer so much for them. She didn’t want to feel the things she was, and as much progress that seemed to have been made this week, today had pushed her a few steps back once again.

“Where are we going anyway?” Bette asked as her mind focused back on the drive.

Shane glanced over at Bette. “I have a surprise. I haven’t told any of the others yet.”

“A surprise? Great, I don’t have a real good history with them remember?” Bette solemnly explained.

“This one is a good one.”

What is it?” 

“You’ll see.”


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

“Did Tina call you back?” Dana asked Alice as she strapped on her roller blade.

“Yeah, she said that her party will start around 8pm.” Alice answered. “Gosh you take so damn long with those.”

“Take it easy.” Dana warned, just before standing up. “Okay, let’s roll.”

As the girls skated around the outdoor track, they spoke of their friends.

“That was a little awkward today, when we were all together. Shane hasn’t spoken to Tina at all yet has she?” Dana asked.

“No she hasn’t. She said she isn’t going to Tina’s party tonight either.”

“Wow. She really is digging her feet in on this one huh?”

Alice grabbed Dana’s arm as she overcompensated the first turn. “Whoa…that was close.”

“You okay?”

“Yes….thank god you were right there. Um…anyway, yes Shane is pretty pissed off.”

“I’m just trying to stay clear from taking any sides. I just think it is wrong.” Dana offered.

“I don’t think it’s about sides at all. Tina is just trying to figure some stuff out, and unfortunately it’s with that asshole Johnny. It sucks that Bette got caught up in the middle of it when Tina decided to try to figure her life out.”

Dana was the only one who had been pretty impartial, but that statement just sounded like it was so matter of fact, and easy. “I think it’s more than Bette being caught in the middle. It’s not like Bette and Tina started to date AFTER Tina had this revelation about boys. They were already together Al.”

“I know.”

“Well you just made it sound like, ‘oh well Bette just got caught up in the middle of it’ like as if it were nothing. She really didn’t have a say in it at all. Tina started down this road after they were together.”

“I know she did. I’m not saying anything either way. I just feel for Tina a little bit more than you other guys.”

Dana adjusted her elbow pad that had slipped down a bit. “I never said I didn’t feel for Tina. I see both sides. I tend to see where Bette got more of a raw deal to be honest, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t see Tina’s side of things at all.”

“I thought you weren’t getting involved?” Alice questioned.

“I’m not. I don’t even want to talk about it. They are our friends, and it’s normal that it’s really on our minds right now, but I just think we need to let them figure stuff out and try to stay as far away from it as possible.”

Alice and Dana remained quiet as they continued to enjoy the afternoon.

****************  
SHANE’S CAR**

Bette had become quite curious as to what the surprise was. 

“Come on, give me a clue.”

As Bette pushed, Shane pulled up in front of the Sheer Designs Salon.

“What is this about?”

“This is my summer job.”

Shane put the car in park and opened the driver’s door. “Come on.”

“But they are closed.”

“No kidding. Did you really think that my job was the surprise?”

“I don’t know. I guess.” Bette said as she followed Shane to a door that was between the salon and a dry cleaner.

Shane searched for a key on her keyring. “Follow me,” she said as she pushed the outside door, which was unlocked.

“What are you doing?” Bette asked, her curiosity building.

Shane started up the stairs. “Come on, just trust me.”

Bette followed Shane up the stairs, passing by two doors on the right. They stopped at the second door on the left.

“Whose place is this?” Bette asked as Shane started to put the key in the door.

Upon opening the door, Shane replied. “Mine.”

Bette stepped inside. It was a small three room place. The den and kitchen were basically one large room, and there were two bedrooms off of it.

“Yours? I don’t understand.” Bette said as she started to look at the plain walls and empty space. Her words echoed from the absence of furniture.

“I was offered a job downstairs in the salon. They are struggling a bit, and part of the agreement is that I take a pretty decent cut in the pay that I really should be getting, but I get this pad in return.”

“Wow. That’s not a bad deal. Just for the summer right?”

“Yeah. What do you think?”

“I think it’s great. You won’t be far from work that’s for sure.”

As Bette began to walk around the apartment, she felt a sense of freedom in looking at something so untouched. “Do you think the landlord would let you paint the walls?”

“I haven’t asked. I can’t see why not. They look like they need a few coats of paint anyway.”

Bette’s eyes scanned each of the walls as her mind sifted through all the possibilities. “Gosh, there is so much potential here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about a mural. Something that is wild and free. Something that just screams Shane McCutcheon.” Bette smiled. It was the first time she showed a form of pleasure since seeing Alice’s painted face earlier in the day.

“Really? Would you do that?”

“Of course I would. It actually would be an inviting distraction to help you put this place together.”

“Well…there is more to this.” Shane put her hands through her hair. “I chose the two bedroom, in case you wanted to crash here. She offered me a one bedroom across the hall”

Bette was surprised. “Me? Wow…” Bette was speechless. 

“When Patti and I spoke about this deal, it was when you and…” Shane paused, she wasn’t sure if she could continue, but decided that she would need to in order for Bette to understand. “…it was when you and Tina were together, and struggling for your privacy. I knew I probably wouldn’t be here a whole lot, and that you both could have used it to crash.”

Bette felt her face go warm as her emotions peaked. Between embracing the kind gesture from Shane, and thinking of Tina, it was a lot for her to take in. She swallowed through a dry throat, hoping the saliva would moisten it enough to speak. “Thank you,” she uttered softly.

*********  
TINA’S**

Tina was on her computer IM’g with Johnny. He had dropped her off earlier, and she had been helping her parents prepare for her graduation party that would be occurring later in the evening.

TK: what time will u b here tonight?

Stud: 830

TK: r we going 2 have sum time alone?

Stud: hopefully. I’m planning on it

TK: really?

Tina felt herself blushing. She and Johnny had been in touch quite a bit in recent days. She wouldn’t deny that she was certainly missing Bette, but her energy and focus at this time was completely on Johnny, while trying to sort all the complex feelings she was experiencing.

Stud: yeah really. Guess we’ll hang at ur place 4 a bit, then do our thing

TK: our thing?

Stud: sure ;-)

Tina wasn’t completely sure what Johnny had in mind. She wondered if he wanted things to go further with them.

TK: what is that?

Stud: ha ha ha

TK: what?

Stud: I’m thinking that Point Rock won’t b 2 busy 2 night where everyone is having their graduation party. 

Tina felt nervous in anticipation at just what Johnny had in mind. She felt her heart race a bit, as the adrenalin shot through her body.

Stud: u there?

TK: yes

Stud: well?

TK: Sure, sounds good

Stud: cool babe c u later

TK: Ok

Tina closed the IM window and laid back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She imagined what it would be like to be with a boy. The only person who had ever touched her was Bette. Was she still considered a virgin she wondered? What really constituted ‘losing your virginity?’ There were so many questions that passed through her mind as she stared at the ceiling, searching the scrolled pattern for answers.


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

THE PARTY

Johnny had arrived earlier than everyone else, and immediately began schmoozing Tina’s family.

“Mrs. Kennard you look fabulous in that dress.”

Catherine blushed. “Well, thank you Johnny. Tina I knew I liked this young man,” she said, taking the bowl of fruit punch from the counter.

“Here, let me get that for you.” Johnny met Catherine halfway across the kitchen, taking the bowl from her. 

Tina and Catherine watched Johnny take the bowl out to the back patio where he started to converse with Tina’s father.

“He appears to be a rather decent boy,” Catherine shared, watching as Jerry patted him on the back. “Your father has taken to him as well.”

“He’s a nice guy. He’s pretty popular in school.”

“Your father said he remembers reading about him in the Sports pages of the newspaper. He’s a football player right?”

“Right. He plays baseball too.”

“What college is he going to?”

“I don’t know. He hasn’t mentioned it.”

“You seem to be happy around him,” Catherine observed, watching how her daughter smiled in his presence.

“He’s been a good friend. I care about him very much.”

“Well it seems you will be rather occupied for the summer now.”

Tina didn’t offer anything more, before walking out to the patio.

“Is my Dad boring you yet?” Tina asked as she slid her arms around Johnny’s waist.

“No, not at all. He wants to take me golfing.”

“Better you than me.” Tina joked.

“Tina, you need to have an appreciation for the sport.”

“Puhlease Daddy, it is such a snobbish sport.”

“Snobbish?! It takes skill my girl, pure skill.”

“You know its more about status quo than anything else. You spend big bucks for equipment, shoes and clothing to match, just to hit a little ball with a steel rod.”

Jerry arched a brow at how much his daughter minimized the sport he adored.

“I think you are being a bit too shallow thinking along those lines. There have been masters that have played this sport, who are not just hitting a little ball with a steel rod. I would like to take you out on the green and show you just how much skill is required.”

Tina leaned her head against the back of Johnny’s shoulder and chuckled. She missed Bette, but at the same time there was something about being able to be so relaxed as she was in front of her parents. There was a relief in the simplicity of the interaction they all shared, and the support she felt from both of them when it came to Johnny. Tina could not ignore that there was definitely an ease in her life while with a boy. This sense of peace with her parents, prompted her to think years down the road when it was time to have children. It would be so much easier for one, to have children with a male partner, and two, to also have her parents embrace the children that she had. The more she visualized this type of future filled with a level of ease, the less she saw herself in the arms of a woman.

“Tina?”

“I’m sorry Dad…what did you say?”

“Nevermind. I’d like to stay and chat with you both, but I’m sure your mother has other plans for me.” Jerry left Tina and Johnny in the back yard, while he went inside to help his wife.

“Your Dad is pretty cool.”

Tina took hold of Johnny’s hand. They both walked casually around the large back yard.

“We have had our moments. Lately, he seems to be relaxing more…seeing me more like an adult.”

“You are an adult.” Johnny said as he turned to face Tina, taking her other hand in his. His eyes scanned Tina’s body. “Yeah, I’d sure say you’re and adult.”

Tina felt herself blush. “Thank you.”

Johnny brought his face close to Tina’s. She felt her breath tighten at the moment she realized what his intention was. With no time to analyze it further, she felt his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and went with this new experience.

*******

Alice and Dana had just arrived at Tina’s, where there were a few cars in the driveway, indicating the party had not really gotten underway yet.

“Are we early?” Dana asked.

“She said around 8 o’clock.”

“Okay. It just seems pretty thinned out.”

“Well, probably some of the other kids will be here later.”

“Looks like the pecker is here.” Dana quipped.

“Yeah, I saw that.”

Alice and Dana made their way from the car, down the driveway.

“Maybe we should go in the back?” Dana questioned.

“Yeah, that’s where the party will be I’m sure.”

Alice and Dana started down the side walkway. They opened the gate at the trellis, and spotted Johnny and Tina making out by the tree. They stood by the trellis for a moment.

“Oh great. Just what I feel like setting my eyes on.” Dana said sarcastically.

“What happened to wanting to be neutral?”

“I am. I’m not taking any sides. I’m just saying that I don’t like seeing it. It’s repulsive.”

“Get over it, you watch television don’t you? Most of them show guys and girls kissing.”

“It’s different, it’s just weird to see someone that I have always known as a lesbian, kissing a man.”

Alice was more at ease with it, for she had been there and done that. “It’s no big deal to me. I think it scares you.”

“What? That is so not true.” Dana said defensively.

“Oh come on it does. You’re just worried that it could happen to you. I’m sure it’s a scary thing for a lesbian to watch another lesbian suddenly turn to a guy. BUT, like I said, I think Tina just probably jumped into women quick, and maybe she isn’t a lesbian but bisexual. Hell she might be straight! How does that float your boat?” Alice inquired with a sarcastic smile.

“Not funny.” 

Dana and Alice went to the back yard and made themselves comfortable in the padded chairs.

******

Johnny and Tina pulled away from one another for a moment. Tina wasn’t quite sure how she felt as she processed this first kiss with a boy. She couldn’t help but compare the touch, the feeling, and all the emotions to Bette. She wasn’t denying that it was nice, for it was. However, it was different. It wasn’t as soft, or tender. She was curious to explore this again. She slid her hand to the back of his neck as she brought her lips back to his. This time, he pushed his tongue between hers, and found her mouth. His entry was more urgent and powerful than what she expected, but that dominance was something she felt more comfortable with, for it was definitely something that Bette herself showed many times. As their kiss intensified more and more, Tina felt the need for air, so she pulled her mouth to the side and took a breath.

“I can’t wait to hit Point Rock tonight.” Johnny smiled at Tina.

“Yeah, me too.” Tina said shyly. 

“So…tell me…have you…?” Johnny stopped, waiting for Tina to answer before he had to spell it out.

“Have I?” Tina was obviously still off balance from the sensation and surge of adrenalin she had experienced. “Have I what?”

“You know…have you had sex before?”

Tina felt her face turn red. She didn’t expect Johnny to be so forward. At the same time, she was extremely confused. Did being with Bette fall into “his” definition of having sex? She wasn’t quite sure how to answer it.

Johnny chuckled at Tina’s pause and embarrassment. “Hey babe, no need to get all embarrassed. I mean, it’s okay if you did. I wouldn’t think anything about it.”

Tina’s mind was moving fast. She just didn’t know what to say. She knew that Bette had digitally penetrated her, but how much was she really “torn” there? She wondered if a penis was going to tear it further, and if Johnny would be able to tell the difference?

“Tina?”

“I’m sorry…yes I have been with someone.”

“Okay, well that’s cool.”

As Johnny started to bring his face in for another kiss, Tina noticed Dana and Alice sitting at the patio.

“Oh, there’s Dana and Alice.”

Johnny turned around. “What timing?”

“I’m sorry,” Tina said as she rubbed his shoulder. “We’ll have time later.”

“I’m holding you to that Kennard.”

Johnny and Tina started walking back towards the patio. Tina was hopeful that Alice was going to be a bit more cordial to him, than she was earlier in the day.

*********

“Hi guys.” 

“Hey Tee.” Alice said.

“Hi.” Dana said, impressing the greeting was to both of them.

“Hi.” Johnny offered in return.

“Where’s the food? I’m starving,” Alice questioned. “She wouldn’t let me stop and get a snack.”

“Good! It would have ruined your appetite.”

Johnny slid his hand around Tina’s waist. Both Dana and Alice watched as this occurred, which made Tina feel suddenly uncomfortable. She didn’t want to insult him by moving his hand, but at the same time, she felt awkward standing there allowing it, knowing her friends were not really embracing him.

“Um…would you like something to drink?”

“Do you have Coke Zero?” Dana asked.

“We do.” Tina replied as she walked towards the patio door. “One for you too Al?”

“Sure.”

Once inside, Tina felt she could breathe. It was strange how she felt so comfortable with Johnny in the presence of her parents, but with her friends, she didn’t quite feel the same. This uneasy feeling wasn’t sitting well with her. She wondered if it was just because of the situation hitting everyone so close to home, or if turning to boys would then alienate her from the gay friends she had. She hoped it was that the girls just needed time to come to terms with the fact she and Bette were no longer a couple.

Outside, the girls made very little conversation with Johnny. The truth was, it wasn’t really because Tina was now with someone other than Bette, but more who the person was. They didn’t particularly care for his attitude and reputation in school, and felt that Tina wasn’t making a great choice in terms of the boy who would open that door for exploration.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

Once Shane’s landlord called her back giving her approval to paint the walls, Bette didn’t waste any time to get started. They had driven to the paint store and selected a variety of colors that Bette would use to create a Porter masterpiece.

“This is the boring part,” Bette admitted as she prepped the walls.

“I would never have guessed you knew so much about wall preparation Porter.” Shane joked. “I mean, it is kind of dykish for you.”

Bette glanced over at Shane as she sanded a small part of the wall with some sandpaper. “Don’t ever underestimate a Porter.”

“That stuff dries pretty fast huh?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty good spackle,” Bette replied as she continued on with the sanding. “I expect I can get one coat of primer on this tonight, and then tomorrow put a coat of white for the base.”

“Cool.”

Shane was happy to see how much this venture was a distraction for Bette. She appeared motivated by the vision in her head of the mural she wanted to create.

*********  
TINA’S**

“You’re Dad sure is King of the grill isn’t he?” Alice asked.

“Absolutely. He loves to grill. Did you try the steak teriyaki?”

“Not yet. Dane, will you go get me a stick?”

“Are your legs broken?” Dana returned.

Alice rolled her eyes. “You never do anything for me.”

“I’ll get you one Alice,” Johnny offered, standing from the chair. “Would anyone else like one?”

“No thanks,” Tina replied.

“Um…it’s okay. I can get it.” Alice said sharply as she got up and walked by Johnny.

Tina couldn’t help but notice the jab that Johnny just took from her. For Tina, it was another reminder that her friends were not going to easily embrace her decision. What she failed to understand was that it was more the ‘person’ that the girls had disliked, and not so much the ‘gender.’

Dana had felt slightly embarrassed when Johnny turned to Tina and raised both brows in wonder. Tina just shrugged it off, and patted the lounge where Johnny sat back down next to her.

“So…I heard you have some offers from schools.” Tina remarked.

“Yeah, I’m not sure which one I am going to yet though.”

“Well Dane, it’s good to have choices right?”

“It is. I just hope my Dad will let me go to Berkley.”

“Wow, I didn’t know Berkley was one that came back.” Tina was caught off guard by the news that Dana and Alice may have the option of being in the same school. Her thoughts automatically went to Bette. “You both must be excited.”

“Excited about what?” Alice asked, returning with a teriyaki stick that she had already begun nibbling on. “Don’t everyone answer at once.”

“I was telling Tina about one of the schools that came back with an offer was Berkley.”

“Oh right. Pretty cool huh?”

****************  
SHANE’S APT**

Shane sat on one of the unopened paint cans, watching Bette as she wiped her hands on a cloth.

“That will be dry by the morning,” Bette said, looking back at the wall to ensure she had covered every spot. “This is going to be fun.”

“Good…I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Shane said, smiling at the small glimmer of happiness that seemed to grace her now. 

Bette took a seat on one of the other unopened cans. “We definitely need a few folding chairs or something. I might have some stuff in the garage. My father was saying something to my Mom last week about getting rid of some things he had stored there. It’s not much, but something.”

“That would be cool. Jill’s parents have a spare mattress set that they are going to give me.”

“Wow, they know you have a place of your own, and your girlfriend’s parents are giving you a mattress?”

“Um…sort of,” Shane smirked. “They think its for my dorm.”

“Is it a double bed?”

“Yep.”

“Geez, you think that would have raised a red flag.”

Shane chuckled. “You would think.”

As Shane and Bette shared a discussion on the various places that furniture would be coming in from, there was a knock at the apartment door.

**********  
TINA’S**

Johnny left the girls to their conversation about colleges, and went over to Mr. Kennard. Alice watched from a distance, as he engaged in some humorous event with Tina’s father.

“Your father seems to like him.” Alice noted.

Tina turned and looked over at the two men in her life. “Yeah, they hit it off pretty well.”

“I guess he has the right mechanics for him to be so accepting.” Alice’s bitterness was clearly showing.

“Al…come on.” Dana admonished.

Tina was getting frustrated with the lack of support she had been feeling, particularly from Shane and in a more subtle way, from Alice. She wasn’t going to let it pass by anymore without addressing it. “Ya know Alice, I truly would have thought that you of all people would have really tried to understand all this. I’m not responsible for my father being a bigot. I’m working things out, and I think in a way, I’m making some progress.”

“Tina, progress? Dumping Bette and hurting her is progress? How can you honestly say that? I mean, just because Johnny Appleseed gets along with Dad, doesn’t make it all right and all better for you does it?”

“First, that is NOT his name, and I really would appreciate it if you would be a little more kinder.”

“Okay…look you guys…” Dana tried to interrupt, but it was a futile attempt.

“Kinder? Tina, do you know how hurt Bette was earlier today when he pushed it in her face?”

“John doesn’t know about Bette and I. It wasn’t something he did intentionally Al.”

“Still, you knew about the both of you. The least you could have done was tried to speak with Bette without him around. You couldn’t just come to graduation alone?”

Tina felt hopeless. She didn’t feel she was ever going to get the support for the choices she made, at least not from her friends. At the same time, she knew her friends were going to all be in school together, in the same click. How much effort was she willing to put in to maintain a friendship with what she viewed as non-supportive people? In her eyes, it seemed far more easier to just focus on making her and Johnny be right in her families eyes, and her own, so that she was at least getting someone’s acceptance.

“Look, I don’t need this, okay? I have made some choices that I feel are what I need for myself right now. I never challenged you on any decisions you have made when you flip flopped between girls and boys. Give me a break huh?”

“I just think you are reconciling yourself to this,” Alice replied more calmly.

“Then let me figure it out Al. I may find that in the long run, this isn’t me. However, I need to sort it all out. What I need, is to have my friends supportive. To have them NOT take sides between Bette and I. Hell it isn’t even about sides. I didn’t plan on hurting Bette. God…that was never my intention…I love her.”

Just as Tina said the last part, Johnny returned. “You love her? Who’s her?”

“Oh…no one.” Tina said, a bit embarrassed that he heard her.

Johnny slid his arm around Tina’s waist and leaned towards her to kiss her. Tina turned her head to the side, dismissing his attempt. Johnny looked at her, a bit confused. “What’s up babe?”

“Um…nothing.”

“Welllll…how about a little something-something.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “God….I’m going to be nauseous,” she uttered under her breath.

Dana elbowed Alice in the side. “Behave.”

Alice and Dana tried their best to remain engaged with Tina, as well as Johnny. There did come a time when it was just too difficult, and it was best that they move on to some of the other parties they needed to attend.

“We probably should be going Tina, we have a few other houses to hit.”

“Okay Dane. Thanks for coming…both of you.”

The girls all hugged, while Johnny looked on. “I’ll talk to you girls later.” Tina said, walking them towards the trellis. “Are you going to see Bette later?”

“I’m not sure, I think Shane and Bette are hanging together tonight.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Why?” Alice asked.

“Just tell her…” Tina hesitated. She wanted Bette to know she loved her, but saying that might have the potential of sending mixed messages. “…nothing.”


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

**LATER**

Johnny placed the car in park. It was an unusually quiet evening at Point Rock, for a lot of the kids were hanging at their friends houses on the evening of graduation. Tina felt her hands get sweaty when he turned the car off. She didn’t think she would be this nervous, but she was, more than ever. She couldn’t help but think how relaxed and at ease she always felt when she was with Bette. The problem was, she was trying hard to analyze everything. Her emotions, her reactions, her bodies response, everything. Maybe she was just trying too hard to find the answers she needed. She took a deep breath and turned to Johnny, who was now facing her.

“It’s pretty quiet tonight,” Johnny slid his hand on Tina’s thigh as he leaned toward her. 

They both engaged in a kiss, a kiss which kept their lips completely occupied. Johnny pushed his tongue between Tina’s lips. He was dominating, controlling, and sturdy in his seeking her. They continued to make out, as the car windows began to take on condensation from their heavy breaths.

Johnny reached between them and started to unbutton Tina’s blouse as he continued to engage her lips with his. He unbuttoned her top, then in haste, pulled her bra up over her breast. His hand found her breast. He pushed his hand against it, taking it into his palm and squeezing it. Tina gasped, pulling her mouth from his and turning her head to the side.

“Easy babe.”

“Sorry.”

Johnny reached to his pants and unbuttoned them, pulling the zipper down as he kissed Tina’s neck. While he disengaged his jeans, he sucked hard on Tina’s neck. She looked out his sunroof, finding herself not at all into the moment as she felt she should be. There were so many times she and Bette came to this place, and they both just couldn’t get enough of one another. Was her hesitation based on a new experience? Did it come down to her just not being in the mood, or was it more that it wasn’t the moment, but the gender which she was with? She had so many questions going through her mind, and wasn’t paying as much attention to what was happening in the car, not until he took her hand and brought it to his penis.

“Blow me.” Johnny said in a completely distasteful manner.

Tina pulled her hand from Johnny’s grasp. As she did, he grabbed her hand again, and again he shared what he wanted. “At least give me a hand job. You’ve got me so worked up.”

Tina wasn’t comfortable in the least. She wasn’t into this, and she found herself feeling panicked. “No…no, I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean? You said you fucked someone before.”

“Yes…but…not this way. It didn’t happen this way.”

“Oh….I get it, okay.” Johnny climbed over the center console, and placed himself so he was straddling Tina’s body. He reached to the side of the seat and pressed the button, which put the seat all the way back. 

“You like it the old fashioned way. That’s cool.” Johnny said as he unwrapped a condom.

“Just…just take your time…okay? We have time.” Tina offered, still rather hesitant as to what she was feeling and wanted.

“Time is good babe. It’s all good.” 

Johnny slid his hands up Tina’s skirt, reaching for her thong. She felt nervous and uneasy, and again kept trying to understand it all. Was her subconscious bringing her back to when she was a child? Was it just that this was something new? Was it that she wasn’t as into this boy as she really should be? She wasn’t willing to stop it until she had more answers, until she could try to decipher this moment and pick it completely apart.

Tina bent her legs as Johnny brought her thong down them and off her body.

“Cute.” Johnny said as he discarded her thong to the driver’s seat. “Great legs Tina.”

Tina could feel her eyes mist up. She couldn’t help but think how outrageously different this was with a boy than with Bette. As a matter of fact, Bette wouldn’t let their first time be in her car. She planned it for a night when her parents had gone to visit her aunt. She had made it extremely special for them. Tina wasn’t sure she was giving Johnny a fair chance, for he was under the impression that this wasn’t her first time, so perhaps that might have been why he wasn’t as soft or tender in his approach.

“Jesus, it’s so fucking hot in here. Are you hot?” Johnny asked.

Tina nodded, followed by a weak “Yes.”

Johnny rolled the window halfway down as he started to also position himself.

“You’re going to have to scoot forward a bit and put your legs up on my shoulders.”

Tina felt Johnny help raise her legs as he brought himself close to her. She started to feel numb, paralyzed. She knew these were not the feelings that she should feel during her first encounter with a boy, but she also knew that she could not disregard that afternoon, and how her family embraced this boy. How easy it was in terms of being in the presence of her family and keeping that support unit alive in her life. Tears started to fall down her face as she felt him penetrate her.

***********  
SUNDAY**

Bette had gotten up early, motivated to get to the apartment to put the first coat of white on the walls. She threw on a pair of jean shorts, ones that were a duplicate of Jessica Simpson’s Daisy Dukes, and a short t-shirt which exposed her belly button ring. She went downstairs to grab a yogurt and head out.

“Hey baby girl,” Kit said, putting the newspaper down on the kitchen table. “where you headed?”

“Over to Shane’s place. She has an apartment she rented, above the salon she just started working at.”

“Cool,” Kit replied.

“Bette, are you still sure you don’t want to have a party?”

“Yeah Mom. I think I would just rather do dinner.”

Bette and her family had discussed a party, but she wasn’t up to celebrating. She would much rather focus on the apartment and the vision she had for bringing some life to the walls.

“Well, I think we will shoot for Monday night. Kit you’ll be around too right?”

“Yep.”

“Okay then, I’ll just confirm it with your father.”

“Cool. Mom, is Dad still going to get rid of the furniture in the garage?”

“I believe so. Why?”

“Shane needs some stuff for her pad.”

“I’m sure he would be happy to get it out of there.”

“Okay, well I’ll have to see if we can get it.”

“Why don’t you wait for him. I’m sure he could help you.”

“It’s not that much. We’ll just get a truck from Shane’s friend Jill.”

“Alright. Well if you need help just let us know.”

“Okay. Thanks Mom. I have to go.”

Bette took a yogurt from the fridge, then grabbed a plastic spoon before heading out the door to the garage. She placed some smaller items in her car, then headed to the apartment.

***************  
SHANE’S APT**

“Thanks for helping me with that.” Shane said as she put one of the lamps on the end table they brought. “I wish I could offer you something, but the fridge is empty right now.”

“That’s fine, just make sure it’s filled up next time huh?” Alice joked as she took the liberty to show herself around. “Sweet…real sweet Shaney.”

“This is going to be a great place to crash.” Dana said. “What did you say Bette was going to do with the walls?”

“Well, she had a few idea’s. I told her I wanted it to be something with landscape, a southwestern feel.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So, who knows, you might see a desert with some cactus and tumbleweed.”

“Don’t forget animal skulls.” Dana added.

The girls helped Shane arrange some of the small pieces of furniture and items that they had brought upstairs, when Bette arrived.

“Hey girls.” Bette said as she entered the apartment, holding a small box. “I have some more things in my car if you want to go get them.”

“Hi Bette. What did you bring?” Alice asked.

“I have some plates, utensils and glasses.”

“Mint. I didn’t even think of that.” Shane took the box from Bette and placed it on the counter.

*********  
TINA’S**

Tina had laid in her bed longer than usual on that morning. This caused her mother some concern, so she decided to go and see if her daughter was okay.

“Tina?” Catherine asked as she knocked on the door. “Is everything okay?”

Tina was laying on the bed on her side, her back was to the door as she stared out the window at the bright outdoors.

“Tina?” Catherine opened the door.

“Yes.” Tina said weakly. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” 

Catherine walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down. “Why the tears?”

“No reason.” 

“Did you and Johnny have a fight?” Catherine reached for what could be the cause of her daughters upset. “Those things happen.”

“We didn’t have a fight.”

“Well what it is then?” Catherine reached forward and brushed a strand of hair from Tina’s face, when Jerry popped his head in the door.

“Tina, call Johnny and get the lad over here. I’m going to bring him to the greens and show him how it’s done.”

Jerry stood in the doorway of the bedroom with his hands on his hips. He had his golf outfit on, right down to the cap he always wore which usually brought a chuckle out of Tina.

The last thing Tina wanted, was to deal with her father. Catherine looked over at Jerry and gave him a look, indicating that the time wasn’t right. Of course, Jerry wasn’t so perceptive. He walked into the room.

“Tina…did you hear me?”

Tina turned to face her father. It was then he saw she was upset. “What’s wrong with the girl?” he asked his wife.

“Jerry, I think we need a moment alone.”

“What’s got you so upset?” Jerry asked, ignoring Catherine’s words.

“Nothing Dad. I’ll be fine.”

“Obviously not.” Jerry smiled. “I know what it is….I know what this is about.”

Tina cringed. He couldn’t possibly have known that she and Johnny had sex the night before. 

“You feel bad that you won’t be in the same school as him…am I right?”

That was the furthest from Tina’s mind. 

“Well I have good news for you Tina. I was planning on having a nice conversation with the boy today. I’m carefully considering changing my mind about you going east for school.”

Tina sat up in bed. “What do you mean?”

Catherine stood from the bed, she too was a bit surprised.

“Well, I can see that you and the boy get along pretty well. I like him. I think he is a nice fit for you. He is going to study political science. That’s a tenacious field of study. I admire his courage and fortitude.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Tina questioned. 

“He’s torn right now between Stanford and Berkley. I know you had been quite interested in both, but, if you don’t go east, I would prefer Berkley.”

For a moment, Tina wasn’t so sure how to react. She felt good about it, and then again, she felt a bit strange. It was like her father was really pushing this relationship with Johnny. In addition, Alice and Dana would be at Berkley. They weren’t very accepting of Johnny. What was going to happen at some of the parties they all attended? Could he grow on them? Tina had so many questions that she yearned for answers to.


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36  
 **  
SUNDAY NIGHT**

“Where did you get the beer?” Bette asked as she looked in the fridge. 

“Cheri.”

“Cheri?” 

“The chick across the hall. I’ll get to introduce you in a bit. She’s going to come over.”

“How old is she?” Bette asked.

“Old enough to buy.” Shane chuckled.

“How long have you had this place?” 

“Not long….why?”

“You and Cheri…have you?”

Shane chuckled. “Now, would I do something so fast like that?”

“I thought so.” Bette smirked. “I guess Jill has no clue huh?”

“Jill and I aren’t exclusive Bette. She’s been with a few other chicks while she’s been with me.”

Bette walked over to Shane’s bedroom. “That doesn’t bother you?”

“Nope.”

“Not at all?”

“No. It would if it wasn’t mutual. I mean, if Jill expected me to be committed to her only, while she fucked around, then that would be different.”

Bette sometimes wondered if Shane’s style was the one with least pain. “Well, it looks like you have at least one room all finished.”

“Yeah, that mattress set is perfect. No headboard, but I don’t need one.”

“No, that’s not really important. It’s called a pad for a reason.” Bette smiled.

“That’s right.”

Bette settled on the sofa. “What a day.”

“We got a lot done, don’t you think?”

“Yeah…yeah we did.”

Bette closed her eyes a moment, and as usual, when she did, all she could visualize was Tina. She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling, bringing her fingers through her hair.

“What are you thinking?” Shane asked as she placed a bottle of beer on the makeshift coffee table.

“I can’t get her off my mind. I close my eyes, and all I see is her. I open them and all I think about is her.”

Shane sat down in front of the sofa, her back against it. She turned her head to look at Bette’s face. “I know it’s hard. You loved her. Probably more than she ever could imagine.”

Bette nodded in agreement.

“That’s why, the solution is you need to be with someone else….right away.”

“I’m not interested.” Bette mumbled.

“Who cares. The bottom line is, is you need to wash away your thoughts of her. The best way to do that, is just get yourself involved with someone else. It doesn’t have to be a relationship. Hell those are way too complex.”

Bette smiled. “You know, deep down I know you want that.”

“Want what?”

“That long term relationship. That person that you can count on to love and who will love you.”

Shane was silent. She liked analyzing, but wasn’t so much up to being analyzed. She took a swig of beer.

Bette continued. “I think that you really want something solid, but you’re afraid. It’s hard to find people dependable and who won’t disappoint you.”

Bette was aware of Shane’s background, her family life. She didn’t have it very easy, and had become one that learned to take care of herself at a very young age. Bette was right, Shane wanted to only count on herself, so she would not let other’s disappoint her.

***************  
TINA’S HOME**

Tina and her Mom were in the kitchen making dinner. Catherine was checking on the roast as Tina let the potatoes drain in the strainer.

“Are you feeling any better?” 

“I guess.” Tina stared at the potatoes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why couldn’t Dad have been accepting of Bette?”

Catherine closed the oven door and placed the oven mitt on the counter. “I think your father is very old fashioned. He is quite set in his ways.”

Tina turned the strainer over, letting the potatoes slide into the bowl.

“He would have never asked Bette to go golfing with him.” 

“No honey, he probably wouldn’t have. It’s just….well it’s not your mainstream lifestyle Tina. It was too hard for your father to accept.”

Tina poured a little light cream in the bowl. “It wasn’t his life to live.”

“You seem happy with Johnny…aren’t you?”

Tina hesitated. “I don’t know. I just feel different. I don’t know if it’s him, or if its more than that.”

“Well, he seems to have a liking for you.”

“I guess.” Tina placed some butter in the bowl. “I just feel like it’s different…than being with a girl.”

“I would imagine it would be. The dynamics are quite different. It’s a mans world Tina, like it or not. Life is so much easier on so many different levels. You fit into mainstream society. You get to go on and be married, have kids. How do you do that without moving to Massachusetts where you get all the benefits? How do you have children without having to have so much planning AND money ahead of time? How do you go to the movies and not be affectionate, or to church, or out to eat? I mean, there are so many things to consider. What happens when you have kids, and those kids didn’t ask for same sex parents? Other kids can be cruel Tina.”

The last thing Tina needed, was her mother reminding her about how society lacks acceptance. She was already feeling so vulnerable. Her mother’s emphasizing a hetero lifestyle over a homosexual one was not sitting so well.

“It’s sad that society is like that.”

“It can be. But it is what it is. You can be happy with a man too. It just takes time to adjust that’s all.”

Tina looked over at her mother. She had a strained look on her face. There was something about what she just said that sent a tingle down her spine.

“Adjust?”

“Yes…that’s what I said.”

“But I don’t get that.”

“Just give it some time with Johnny. You can learn to love a boy as you did a girl.”

Tina studied her mother as she prepared some carrots. 

“Do you honestly think you learn to love someone? I mean…shouldn’t it just come naturally?” Tina asked.

“I think it can happen both ways.”

Tina hesitated for a moment, but it wasn’t long before she found herself just asking. “Mom…”

Catherine turned to Tina, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “Yes?”

“Did you learn to love Dad…or…”

Catherine realized then, what she had been gradually revealing. It was restrained, but it was there. She felt flushed. “It’s a little hot in here isn’t it? Tina go and open the patio door, let some air in.”

Tina stared at her mother. There was something there, something that Tina couldn’t exactly put her finger on, but her mother started to come undone.

“Mom…are you okay?”

Catherine ran the water in the kitchen sink. She placed her hand under the water and patted her cheeks. “I’m fine…I just feel a little warm.”

Tina walked over to the patio door and opened it. “Can I get you something?”

“No…no I’ll be fine. It must be the change.”

“Menopause? Really?”

“Maybe.”

Before either of them could move back to where they had left the conversation which prompted this moment of anxiety, Jerry and Johnny came into the house.

“That wasn’t too bad.” 

“No boy, it was pretty good. A few more trips to the greens with the old man and you will be just fine. It’s all in the stance and how you move your body. Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t.”

Jerry and Johnny entered the kitchen.

“Smells good in here girls.” Jerry said as he took his golf cap off. “The boy did a fine job.”

Johnny gleamed. He seemed rather pleased that he had scored more points with Tina’s father. Johnny looked over at Tina who had decided to retrieve the mixer from the pantry. When she came out, Johnny was standing near the counter where the bowl of potatoes were.

“Did you miss me?” He asked.

“Sure.” 

Catherine added some brown sugar and cinnamon to the carrots. “Sounds like you enjoyed yourself hun.”

“It was a grand day out there. I bumped into Cahill. I proudly introduced Johnny boy here as Tina’s boyfriend.”

That remark annoyed Tina. She knew that her father did that, just to rub it in to Mr. Cahill that she wasn’t involved with a woman. 

“Oh?” Catherine remarked. “Why is that his business?”

Tina was taken back a bit by her Mom’s direct question. She wanted to chime in, but knew she shouldn’t, so therefore she remained quiet while Johnny watched her mix the potatoes. While Jerry and Catherine got into a discussion, Johnny dipped his finger in the bowl and offered it to Tina to clean off. She turned her head. Johnny shrugged it off and licked his finger clean. 

“Mmmm good stuff.”

“That was gross. Did you even wash your hands after you played?”

Johnny looked down at his hands. “They aren’t dirty.”

*****************  
SHANE’S APT.**

As Bette and Shane put down a few beers each, they became enthralled in conversation. It was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I wonder who it could be…let’s see…Alice or Dana?” Shane joked as she went to answer the door.

“My money is on both!” 

Shane opened the door to find Cheri standing there with a six pack of her own. “Hey Shaney. I thought you could use some company.” Cheri gave Shane a brief kiss on the cheek, then walked in. Upon doing so, Cheri noticed Bette on the sofa. “Oh….I’m sorry…I didn’t realize you had company.”

“It’s cool, that’s my friend Bette.”

Cheri was a rather nice looking brunette. She had a figure that most would die for, and from what she was wearing, had no problem flaunting it. 

“A friend of yours is a friend of mine.” Cheri walked over to Bette, who had now sat up on the sofa, and offered her hand. “Nice meeting you Bette, I’m Cheri.”

“Hi. You’re the one that bought the beer in the fridge right?”

“Depends on whose asking,” Sherri chuckled. “I brought something else that we can have some fun with too.”

Shane walked over to the sofa and sat back on the floor. “Yeah? What’s that?”

Sherri reached in her pocket and pulled out a small bag of pot, and some paper. “I didn’t have time to roll them yet.”

“Sweet!”

Cheri looked over at Bette. She offered an alluring smile and arched her brow.   
“Bette…are you game?”


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

Bette fought the initial attraction that she felt had formed. The least thing she needed was to get involved with someone so soon. Then again, according to Shane’s theory, that was the best thing she could do. She wasn’t ready to go out looking for someone, but if it were to come to her, she wasn’t so sure that she would refuse.

“Yeah, I’m game.”

Cheri sat on the floor next to Shane. Bette remained on the sofa, sitting up with her legs between the two of them.

“So Bette, Shane tells me you are going to paint a mural on the walls.”

“I’m going to do my best.”

Cheri smiled as she licked the paper. “I have a feeling your best is something interesting to see.”

Bette felt herself blush a bit. She watched as Cheri continued to roll another joint, followed by her licking the edge and sealing it. There was definitely a method to how she was doing this, and she used it to her advantage to get Bette’s attention. Shane looked on, equally interested in how her neighbor was presenting herself.

Cheri passed a joint to each of them. She reached in her pocket and retrieved a lighter, which she passed around as well. Between deep inhales and random coughs, they all engaged in some light conversation.

**********  
TINA’S**

Following dinner, and some very deep conversation from Papa Kennard, Johnny and Tina decided to go out back to the patio.

“Your mom is a great cook.” 

“Thanks.”

Tina sat on the lounge with a leg over each side. Johnny joined her, doing the same but facing her. “Last night was really over the top.” 

Tina wasn’t sure what to say to that. She certainly hadn’t experienced anything close to what she had with Bette, and the evening ended with her feeling quite unsatisfied both sexually and emotionally.

Johnny placed his hands on top of Tina’s thighs. He started to rub them, as he leaned forward to kiss her. Tina moved her head to the side.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

“Well…there’s a way to fix that. How about we go for a ride?”

Tina knew exactly where Johnny was headed. “I’m not really interested John.”

“Why not? You were pretty into it last night.”

Tina rolled her eyes. If he only had a clue, she thought to herself. “I just didn’t really…” Tina hesitated, she didn’t want to just write him off. “…um…I don’t know, maybe it was the whole car thing, ya know what I mean?”

“Well…my parents went to the beach house after graduation yesterday. My house is empty. We could always go there…unless that freaks you out and all.”

Tina really wasn’t sure if it was the whole car sex that was unappealing, or even if it could have been that she and Bette had been there so many times, that it was making her more tense than she should have been.

“What if they come home early?” Tina asked.

“They won’t. They never do.” Johnny leaned in, smiling at Tina as his hands squeezed her thighs. “How about it babe?”

“I don’t know…I…”

“Come on…it would be a hell of a lot more comfortable.”

Tina didn’t find sex with John enjoyable. At the same time, while she was trying to figure out her life, she also wasn’t sure if it was her own expectations that were set so high. Did all heterosexual relationships feel like this? Were women in those relationships satisfied sexually? Did John really represent the majority of males, or was it maybe that it was just him? So many questions remained, and instead of moving from John to another boy, especially after her family made it quite clear how much they liked him, she was willing to try to see if things would feel a little different in the privacy of his home.

“Let me just tell my parents that I’ll be home a little later.”

“Sounds good to me.” Johnny stood up from the lounge and waited outside while Tina went indoors.

***************  
SHANE’S APT**

Cheri could hardly contain herself. “Bette that was one funny story.”

“Oh, there are so many more where that came from. My sister could tell you more than I could.” Bette added, with a strong chuckle.

“That weed was damn good shit.” Shane added. “I’ll have to make sure you score for me when I need some in the future.”

“No problems babe. I’d be happy to do it.”

Bette got up from the sofa and went to the fridge. “Anyone want another beer?”

“Sure.” Cheri replied.

“I’ll get mine in a bit.” 

Bette brought a bottle to Cheri, then sat on the other side of Cheri, so she was now in the middle.

“Thanks babe.”

Bette was taken back by the reference, for that was Tina’s choice of words most days when they spoke. “Um…you’re welcome.”

As the evening progressed, it was filled with more laughs, booze, and drugs. If there was ever a time that Bette had numbed her pain, it was then. The problem was, she would be waking up the next morning to the same problems, and who knows….maybe more.

***************  
PHARMACY**

“Dane…do you see the rapid release Tylenol?” Alice asked as she and Dana scanned the pain medicines. 

“I’m looking…there it is. How big of a bottle do you want?”

“Get the 100 count. I’ll keep it in my glove box.”

As Alice and Dana started to head towards the registers, Alice spotted Johnny near the condom display. “Oh brother. I guess we don’t have to wonder what Tina is up to tonight do we?”

Dana followed Alice’s eyes, and spotted Johnny selecting a box of condoms. “Don’t get involved, just ignore it.”

“That’s easier said than done. I’ve already spotted him.”

“I know, but it isn’t any of our business what she is doing.”

“I just don’t get it. Bette did so much for her, changed so much of herself to appease her.”

“I realize that Al, but that was Bette’s decision to do that. She didn’t have to.”

“No Dana she did not. But she did because she loved her. I’m sure she still does.”   
As Dana and Alice continued their discussion, Johnny had made his way to the registers to make his purchase.

 ******* ******  
SHANE’S

“Hey, I have to run down to the salon a minute to look at the schedule. They didn’t tell me what time I’m suppose to start tomorrow.”

“Okay, well…we’ll be here Shane.”

“Don’t talk to strangers on the way,” Cheri joked.

Shane smiled. “I’ll try not to.”

Once Shane left the apartment, Cheri turned to Bette. “You and Shane aren’t together right?”

Bette chuckled. “Shane? Me? Wow…hardly.”

Bette was definitely feeling the effects of the beer and the drugs. She felt more relaxed, a bit giddy, and her inhibitions had vanished.

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Yeah…real good.” Cheri turned towards Bette, who was still sitting on the floor with her back against the bottom part of the sofa. “I find you extremely attractive Bette.”

Bette felt her face flush, for she too thought Cheri was quite appealing. 

“You do huh?”

“I do.”

Cheri’s bottom lipped dropped slightly as her eyes revealed not only a gloss from getting high, but desire as well. She reached for Bette’s thigh, just below where the fringe from her daisy dukes sat. 

“Nice thighs…you work out?” Cheri’s voice was strained, a bit sultry. “Great definition.”

Bette could feel herself getting more and more turned out. The drugs and booze, which one might think would inhibit any sexual stimulation, was working just the opposite on her. She could swear she felt the crotch of her jeans wet with her desire. She hadn’t worn any panties with those daisy dukes, and there was no doubt in her mind, that if Cheri proceeded further, she would note the damp center. Bette forgot what she had asked.

“Um…what did you ask?”

Cheri chuckled. “I asked if you work out Porter. Your legs…among other things…are nicely defined.”

“I do work out. I watch what I eat, and I run three or four times a week.”

“It’s paid off.”

Bette looked down at her leg. Cheri’s nails had made light indents in her skin where she had squeezed.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush, no pun intended.” Cheri smirked. “ I think your hot….reallly hot….and I have to tell you that I’m really used to getting what I want.” 

Cheri placed her finger under Bette’s chin and dragged it out to the edge and away from it. Bette watched as Cheri straddled her lower body first, before sliding her hands on both sides of her face and leaning in for what would be a sizzling hot kiss. For a brief moment, Cheri pulled her head back, as Bette took that brief break to process what was happening. Her thoughts went to Tina, and then immediately to Tina AND Johnny, and the choices she made. It was then that Bette slid her hand behind Cheri’s neck and pulled her into her, demanding they re-engage. Their mouths fought for a level of dominance, for Cheri certainly was a woman who didn’t surrender that control so easily. She reached down, and without taking much time, she pulled Bette’s top up and over her head, revealing a pair of firm mocha breasts.


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

She reached down to the edge of her own shirt and brought it up over her head, letting her hair fall back against her skin as she revealed her bare chest. Bette stared at each of the engorged nipples which were centered perfectly in the middle of each firm breast.

Cheri smiled at Bette as she reached down and unbuttoned her khaki shorts. She stood up, her feet remaining on each side of Bette, and slowly brought her shorts and thong down her long slender legs, and off of her.

“How about it baby, do you plan on making me remove those Daisy Dukes or would you like to do that yourself?’

Bette smirked as she watched Cheri weave her fingers through her hair. Her eyes were fixed on this girl who had sparked this unexpected sexual need. As Bette’s hands started to go for the button on her shorts, Cheri straddled her legs again, bringing her mouth to Bette’s, and with a disregard for permission, thrust her tongue inside of Bette’s mouth, her hands sliding up and down Bette’s sides, until they came to a rest on the waistline of her jeans. 

“Mmmm……” Cheri moaned as her tongue craved more. “I could really get used to you Porter.” She proceeded to unbutton, then lower the zipper on Bette’s shorts.

She broke the kiss as she looked down between them, realizing that as her fingers brushed against Bette, she wasn’t wearing any underwear. “Shit…you are really fucking hot!”

The idea of Bette being panty less had turned Cheri on even more. As the need in both girls continued to fuel into something greater than they could have ever expected, Bette found herself wanting raw, emotionless sex. The animal inside her was no longer capable of being tamed, as she sought a sole lustful experience.

Bette brought her mouth to Cheri’s hard nipple, and took it into her mouth where she rolled her tongue in circles, tracing the edges, feeling it come alive even more as the warm flesh filled her mouth. Cheri arched her head back, her hands making a wild journey through Bette’s dark locks as she felt Bette’s mouth devour her breast. 

**************  
JOHNNY’S**

Tina was feeling rather reserved as she followed Johnny up to his room.

“Are you sure your parents won’t be home?”

“Absolutely. Dad isn’t going to come back without getting his tee time in.”

“Your Dad likes golf too?”

“He sure does. If he knew I played with your father he wouldn’t have liked it so much.”

“Why?”

“Because, he has been on my case about going with him.”

Tina was confused. “I don’t get it. You never went with your father?”

“Nope.”

“But you went with my father.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess I felt…like I was suppose to.”

“He has that effect on people.”

“What do you mean?”

“People doing things because they feel they are suppose to.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Once in Johnny’s room, he removed his t-shirt and went over to his stereo. “Do you like Aerosmith?”

It wasn’t Tina’s favorite selection of music to be making love to, but it was music nevertheless. “It’s fine.”

Tina looked at the definition in Johnny’s back. For a young boy, he was fairly chiseled. The grueling football practices, combined with his working out had made him extremely fit. When he turned, she had seen for the first time, the six pack that his abdomen muscles had formed. There wasn’t a lot of body which she was able to set her eyes upon, that evening in the car. As he approached her, she felt a little uncomfortable, tentative, unsure.

“I’d like things to be a little more…a little more tender.” 

“Huh?” Johnny was confused. “What do you mean?”

Tina felt somewhat nervous sharing how she was feeling in terms of intimacy. With Bette, it wasn’t like that at all. She felt more than comfortable sharing what she wanted, what she didn’t like, and everything in between. The conversation was always open, smooth, and easy. 

“It’s just…the car…it was really…well it just felt cold John. I felt …” Tina hesitated to continue.

“You felt pretty good to me babe.” Johnny smiled as his hands rubbed the top of Tina’s arms. 

Tina placed her hands on his waist. “It wasn’t that. It just felt we didn’t spend much time…umm….” Johnny studied Tina’s eyes as she continued with great reservation. “….it wasn’t as enjoyable as it should have been.”

Johnny’s face went stiff. He was one macho young boy, striving to be the best in sports and any other area which he felt in competition with his peers. Sex with the chicks was no different. “Not enjoyable? Tina, you have to be like the ONLY chick that ever said that to me.” Johnny pulled a few steps back.

Tina could sense Johnny’s upset. “Wait…I don’t mean it to sound harsh. It wasn’t you…”

“Wasn’t me? What does that mean? It was only you and me in the car Tina. If I recall, I think I was the only one fucking you that night.”

Tina cringed at his callous reference to what they engaged in. She had already been feeling upset, lonely, and dirty, amongst other things following that encounter. His choice of words didn’t sit so well. “Please don’t say it like that.”

“Like what? You don’t want me to say something after you insult me?”

“John, I didn’t insult you. I’m just trying to explain. Things were so fast. The car was uncomfortable. I wasn’t even…I …”

“What?” Johnny was losing his patience. “You wasn’t what?”

“I wasn’t even that wet when you entered me. It hurt.”

“That’s my fault that you weren’t wet?” Johnny was extremely defensive. He felt his manhood being evaluated, and he wasn’t going to let it be about him in the least. His lack of maturity was showing through in a very big way.

“I didn’t say it was your fault. You are taking this way too personal.”

“How else am I to take it Tina? You’re the only chick that has ever had any complaints.”

Tina didn’t want to hear that. It only added to her own, personal confusion even more. His comment made her think. Was she NOT like most women? Was it because she truly was gay? Was Johnny really representative of all males? If she didn’t find enjoyment with a boy who has played the field with a lot of girls, none having any complaints according to him, perhaps it really did come down to being her fault.

“I’m sorry.” Tina apologized, feeling more responsible for things not feeling right. “I’m sorry. I should have told you I needed to be a little more aroused and ready for it.”

Johnny sat on the edge of his bed and put his hand through his hair. “Tina, all you had to do was just tell me that. I would have just waited.”

Tina had to process what he had said. ‘I would have waited’….what did that mean? Where was his compassion, tenderness? “Waited? I think what I needed was just to have a little more stimulation before we had sex, that’s all. That didn’t mean you needed to wait on the sidelines somewhere John. It meant we BOTH needed to engage a little bit more. It just seemed so rushed.”

Johnny lay his bare back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Tina felt rather defeated. She felt responsible for hurting Bette. She now was feeling responsible for Johnny’s upset. It felt like either way she turned, she was responsible for hurting someone, and it wasn’t making her feel so good.

***************  
SHANE’S APT**

Cheri brought her mouth to Bette’s, where she let her tongue trace the edge of Bette’s lips, making them wet. She slid her hand between them, and went immediately to where Bette’s daisy dukes were folded open. She felt the warmth of Bette’s skin change as she touched her pubic hair, the dampness of some curls grazing the bottom of her fingers as she started to part Bette’s folds. She watched Bette’s eyelids flutter at the moment she touched her clit.

“Does that feel nice?”

Bette nodded, feeling so far into this already, that she couldn’t focus on anything but a release, and getting there. “Please…don’t wait.”

*******************

Shane had just opened the door to the apartment, when she was met with the scene of the two women, now naked, engaging with one another. As she released the door knob, it clicked, causing Cheri to glance over. Bette’s head was arched back against the edge of the sofa, not paying attention in the least. As Shane started to walk backwards out of the apartment, Cheri motioned with her head, for her to join them. Shane stood in the doorway, pausing, unable to process whether it was something she wanted to do. Bette was her best friend, and there was a line she didn’t want to cross. Yet, there was something that she felt completely aroused with, and that was the thought of watching them. She felt slightly dirty doing so, but the moans that Bette was already eliciting, was far more magnetizing than her ability to remove herself from the room. Cheri moved her mouth from Bette’s neck and looked over at Shane, then brought her eyes to her own body, inviting her to engage with her.

*************  
JOHNNY’S>/b>**

**Tina reached deep, with everything she had. She was determined to make this work, at least on this evening. The setting was much better, there was privacy, more room, and time to enjoy one another. Johnny had sat back up on the edge of the bed and looked at her, just as she started to reach down and take hold of her shirt. She walked towards him, and placed one leg between his open one, the other leg on the other side of his. She pulled her shirt over her head and discarded it to the floor. He reached for her jeans, to unbutton them.**

**“No…I want this to be slow. I NEED this to be slow.”**

**Tina reached behind herself, and unclasped her bra. She let that drop to the floor. Johnny’s eyes immediately went to Tina’s breasts. She looked down, and found that her nipples weren’t protruding much at all. She knew she had to feel something more between she and John. These moments with him were becoming more and more forced, and if her mind was not telling her that, her body was certainly doing so. By now, had that been Bette on the edge of that bed, Tina’s nipples would be hard, protruding, and her center extremely wet.**

**Johnny reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, then unzipped them. He couldn’t stand to pull them off, as Tina had been standing in the way. Instead he reached forward again, and this time, Tina allowed him to unbutton her jeans, and unzip them. When she stepped back to take them off, Johnny stood up and removed his own as well.**

******************  
SHANE’S APT.** **

**Shane had already removed her top and pants, remaining only in her boy shorts as she took a few steps closer to Sherri. It had only been a minute, maybe two between her entering the apartment and undressing. When Bette turned her head from the side, and opened her eyes, she saw Shane kneeling behind Cheri, kissing her shoulder. Cheri had Bette so far into the climax, that Bette knew she had no resolve to react to Shane’s presence, for it would mean she would probably lose that climb. At the same time, the drugs and alcohol had desensitized Bette’s ability to be completely embarrassed and pull back. Cheri sensed that Bette might need a slight bit of reassurance.**

**“It’s cool babe. A threesome can be pretty fucking exciting.”**

**Cheri continued to rub Bette’s clit in a steady rhythm leaning forward to suck on her neck hard. This mark she would leave, Bette would find later, would last a number of days and be quite noticeable.**

**Shane was mesmerized by watching Bette’s expressions change. She was enjoying what was happening, and having a hard time focusing on Cheri, when she seemed to be more drawn to the idea of pleasing Bette herself, a thought that had never crossed her mind before…ever. Now however it was stronger than ever to do so.**

**At one moment, Bette looked over at Shane again, as if reading her mind, Bette shook her head from side to side, drawing a line that things were not going to go down that road between them. Shane was going to respect that silent message, and instead, brought her hand around to the front of Cheri, finding her hardened nipple, and rolling it between her fingers. Cheri legs, which remained on each side of Bette’s, slid further apart, inviting Shane to fuck her from behind.**

**“Ohhhh..” Bette released a moan from deep as she found herself getting close to the edge. This excited both Cheri and Shane.**

**Shane slid her hand between Cheri’s legs. She had traces of cum on her inner thigh, which Shane took advantage of taking onto her fingers as she pushed her hand further forward, until she reached Cheri’s clit.**

**“I…god…I…I’m…almost….” Bette couldn’t help but become a bit louder than she probably would have ever let herself had she been completely lucid. “Pleaseeee…f….ffaster,” she pleaded.**

**Cheri rubbed Bette’s clit faster, her mind becoming equally altered from the incredible feeling that Shane had created between her own legs.**

**“Yesss….Shaney….go…inside me….fuck me hard.”**

**Shane slipped two fingers inside Cheri, and began to fuck her. She dropped her other hand to her own center, and began to massage her clit in the same fashion she did when she masturbated on those occasions that she found herself needing it.**

**Bette was the first to cum. She screamed out as Cheri’s fingers slowed, drawing the orgasm out of her as it ripped through her body. Cheri soon followed Bette, with Shane joining her as both of them came together. The three girls, had surrendered themselves to a crazy experience where they found themselves both under the influence, and desperate for sexual release.**


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

****************  
JOHNNY’S**

Tina was laying back against the bedspread, her legs spread as Johnny supported himself between them, sucking on her breast. He was spending more time with foreplay during this encounter, than he had in the car. That part was at least pleasing Tina, and she had felt herself being a little more open to his touch, than what had occurred the night before.

Johnny pulled his mouth away from Tina’s breast and looked into her eyes. “You doing okay? Any Better this time?”

Tina smiled. The way he had said it, was the first time he had come across more tender and actually, caring. “Yes.”

He reached for her hand, and brought it to his penis. Tina wasn’t particularly fond of penis’s, as she had thought they looked pretty gross, but if this was the life she was going to live, she had to learn to accept her lover for all the parts, and not just some.

***********  
SHANE’S**

The girls had thrown their shirts on, Bette her daisy dukes as well. It was slightly awkward for Bette, but the alcohol had helped her relax and not look too closely at the set of events that had just taken place.

“Anyone for another beer?” Shane asked as she buttoned her pants.

Cheri remained in her t-shirt and thong only. “I’ll go for another.”

“I’m all set.” Bette said, leaning her head back against the sofa. 

Cheri scooted next to Bette. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Bette turned her head towards Cheri. “Yeah…you?”

Cheri smiled. “I would have much rather enjoyed you doing me.”

Bette didn’t say anything. She had always reserved herself for Tina, and although Cheri had touched her and made her orgasm, it wasn’t nearly the same as what she had with Tina. The sex was bland, and without any feeling but the physical one.

“Wouldn’t you like that?”

“What?” 

“To be able to fuck me?”

Cheri was pretty forward. For Bette, “fucking” was exactly what things were about right now, so it wasn’t a turn off at all that Cheri wasn’t putting a lot of emotion into it. Cheri had a rather complex background as well, and after a few turbulent relationships which caused her much pain, she had retreated from any emotional satisfaction, and focused simply on the physical needs. It may have appeared pretty superficial and cold to some, but for her it was her reaction and response to some shitty moments.

“Sure,” Bette responded, clearly unconvincing. 

“Here you are.” Shane handed a bottle to Cheri.

“Awww look at that, she opened it for me.”

“Always looking to score huh?”

Shane smirked. “Come on, I was just being nice.”

“Sure.” Bette winked.

*************  
JOHNNY’S**

Johnny had rolled onto his back, pleased with himself. Tina on the other hand continued to struggle with the lack of excitement, feeling, and closeness that she had become accustomed to. Once again, she failed to have an orgasm, and it wasn’t as if Johnny had given much thought to it, once he had gotten there. 

“I’m pretty spent.” Johnny admitted as his chest rose and fell with each breath.

Tina turned her head to him. She was pleased that there was at least an attraction to her, and that he was able to have an orgasm, but her own loneliness and feeling of emptiness was becoming hard for her. She thought that being in his bed, with little to no distractions would help. It had helped a little, but not nearly enough as she had hoped.

Johnny placed his arm around Tina and pulled her into him. She lay her head on his chest. There were enormous differences between boys and girls, and she was quickly learning that first hand. The hairs on his chest, his underarm, were just a few. The abrasive stubs on his face, and the perspiration on his body. His hairy legs, his manhood. All so very different from the softness that had filled her life over the past year or so. Could it be that she just wasn’t use to it? There were so many questions for her therapist on Monday, and this was an appointment that she would be keeping, and not canceling out of as she had done with the last two.

Johnny turned to Tina. “So…when do you think you’re going to go down on me?”

Tina looked at Johnny and rolled her eyes, just before sitting up in the bed. “Is that all you think of?”

“What? All guys like that.”

“Yeah? Well not all girls like to do that.”

“You can if you keep trying.”

“That doesn’t make sense. If you don’t like something why would you keep trying?”

“Because, if you do, you could learn to like it.” Johnny was too brash for his own good.

“Learn to like it?” 

“Yeah.”

“You don’t learn to like something you don’t.” Tina replied. As soon as she heard herself say those words, she found herself facing her own agenda.

“Why not?” Johnny asked.

Tina remained silent. She was completely lost in the thought of her own spoken words.

“Here, I’ll show you how good it feels.” Johnny crawled in front of Tina, prepared to go down on her first. He placed his hands on her knees, encouraging her to open her legs.

Tina wasn’t interested in the least. “I don’t want to. I don’t feel so well.”

“Huh? What do you mean? You seemed fine before.”

“I said I don’t feel well, what don’t you understand?” Tina was completely frustrated, both sexually and in general. 

“Tina, what’s your problem? I tried my best tonight to make you feel more comfortable, and you just…I don’t know, you don’t really seem into things.”

“I’m fine, I just don’t feel like having sex again.”

“All you have to do is lay back.”

“Hello? Did you hear anything I said to you?” Tina was annoyed.

Johnny rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “You are such fucking high maintenance.”

Tina looked down at him, her eyes filling up. “I’m sorry okay? I just am not in the mood to have sex again, why can’t you understand that?”

“Do you know how many chicks would kill to be in this bed with me?” Johnny’s ego was beginning to surface once again, which always seemed to make Tina feel even more insecure.

“Why is it you always seem to have to throw that up?”

“I’m just saying.” Johnny mused.

“Yeah, like I am suppose to be grateful for the privilege of sleeping with you?”

“Well you could at least act a little more interested Tina. You are so distant and cold.”

“I’m not…I’m just…I’m trying.”

Tina was feeling herself panic again. She did NOT want to be gay. She wanted to be straight. She wanted to have an easier lifestyle and not have to deal with all the pressures that society and her family would present if she went with women. She felt she was trying, but maybe she wasn’t trying enough. It was true, there were a lot of girls in school that would have swooned in Johnny’s presence. He was the football star who could have any girl, and Tina was the one in his bed. Tina looked over at him, knowing full well what he wanted from her. He had mentioned it on more than one occasion, and although she was not into doing it, she wasn’t ready to let go of whatever it was that they both had.

She reached over and placed her hand on his penis. He looked down at her as she brought her face closer to it.

***********  
SHANE’S**

“I really should get going.” Bette said.

“No way…you’re not driving.” Cheri said in a firm way.

“Well, there really isn’t anywhere to sleep comfortably.”

“You could stay on the sofa.” Shane offered.

Bette look at the sofa, then back at Shane. “Where will you sleep?”

“I’ll just take the floor.”

“Why don’t you just stay at my place?” Cheri offered. “….then Shane could have her sofa.”

“I don’t know.” Bette looked over at Shane. She didn’t want to step over any lines, for she knew there was somewhat of an interest there, and whatever happened moments earlier, could be avoided if that was a problem.

“It’s cool…you can stay with Cheri.” Shane added.

“Are you sure?” Bette searched for reassurance.

“Very.” Cheri interjected, followed by a kiss on Bette’s cheek.

Shane smiled. “Good…real good.”

*****************  
NEXT MORNING

Cheri’s head was between Bette’s legs, her tongue performing some amazing things there as Bette pushed her head against the pillow. 

“Ohhhh….gooodddddd….” Bette felt herself go lightheaded as Cheri brought her to the edge, and then over it.

The sheet which covered Cheri’s head, had stilled for a moment as Cheri lay her head on Bette’s inner thigh. Within a few moments, she climbed up Bette’s body, which was clammy from the sweat which they both formed, on this morning which had included hours of sex between the two.

“Fuck…you are one fine gal Bette Porter.” Cheri said as she lay her head on her pillow. “I never had a woman orgasm more than once so fast.”

Bette smiled. “That’s a good thing right?”

“You bet it is. I also never had a woman make me cum three times like you did.”

“Glad I could be of some use.”

“Oh girl, you are of A LOT of use in my eyes.” Cheri turned on her side and faced Bette. “I’m glad we met Bette. I hope we can maybe hang out with each other.”

Bette didn’t want a relationship. She was so turned off by them now. “I don’t know…I…I’m not into going steady anymore.”

“Who talked about going steady?”

Bette looked over at Cheri. “You would be okay with not being exclusive?”

“Sure….I’ve done the whole relationship thing, and I can’t say I do a very good job at it.” Cheri admitted.

“Well, then we both have something in common.”

Cheri arched a brow. “Yeah?”

“Yep. It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Unless you like to be hurt”

Cheri sensed that Bette’s hurt was pretty recent, for it seemed to be on the surface. “Someone hurt you pretty bad huh?”

“You could say that.”

“Recently too, right?”

Bette was taken back at how right Cheri was. “How do you know?”

“I can tell. I’ve been there remember?”

“Yeah…I guess you can tell then.”

“What’s her name?”

Bette swallowed hard. “Tina.”

“You loved her didn’t you?”

Bette’s eyes filled up. “Love isn’t everything.”

“It’s a lot.” Cheri replied.

“Yeah, but…it isn’t always everything. If it was, we would still be together.”


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

“Do you still love her?” Cheri asked.

Bette hesitated to provide the answer, for it hurt so much to acknowledge it openly. “I’m moving on.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“It doesn’t matter whether I love her or not, things are what they are.” Bette turned hard. Her voice cold, her jaw clenched. “She is living the life she wants, and I’m going to live mine.”

Cheri didn’t need to hear Bette’s answer. It was quite obvious, that Bette still loved Tina, and that love ran so deep that it wasn’t something she could turn on or off. If it was, then it would have been a pretty shallow love that they had shared if it were that easy for her feelings to change.

**********************  
THERAPIST OFFICE**

Holly had opened Tina’s file, and began making a few notes before getting started. “It’s been a few weeks Tina. I wasn’t so sure you were going to make it this week.”

“I’m sorry. I just…things seemed to be going pretty good with me figuring some stuff out. I didn’t think I needed to come.”

Holly placed the folder on her lap, keeping it open so she could easily jot a few things down during their session. “That happens sometimes. So…tell me what has been going on.”

Tina wasn’t sure where to start. It seemed like so much had happened since she had spoken with Holly last. She took a deep breath in and began, just as tears filled her eyes. “Bette and I broke up.”

“When?”

“A few weeks ago. Before graduation.”

“What happened?”

“I’ve just been so confused. I …I don’t know…his lesbian lifestyle just gets so damn hard. There is so much emotion sometimes.”

“In what way?” Holly sat back against her chair.

“The feelings, they run so deep. Girls are a lot of work.”

“Maybe. I don’t think its a lot different from any relationship. It requires compromise and communication.”

“I know.”

“So…who made the decision to end things?”

“I did. We were at her house. She knows I have been struggling with my sexuality, because we talked about my confusion.”

Holly looked back over her notes. “Yes. It seems you both were maintaining some open communication about that which was good. That doesn’t happen in a lot of relationships as people are exploring their sexuality. Many times there is a lot of deceit involved by the one doing the exploring, not being so honest about things.”

“Well I was honest. Bette had known from the start what I was feeling, needing, trying to figure out.”

“I recall she was pretty open minded about you also dating boys as well.”

“For the most part. I know she didn’t like the idea, but she was willing to allow me that freedom to learn things about myself.”

“That’s an unusual response. Most partners would not allow their other half to go out exploring a thing while they were still together. I guess she was trying to understand it all. That’s rather selfless to say the least. So…what happened?”

“We were in her room. Her parents were gone. She had…” Tina felt embarrassed.

“Go ahead…take your time.” Holly reassured.

“She bought a strap on. She wanted to use it, thinking that all she had to do was just add that to the relationship and I was like cured or something.”

Holly formed an expression, that showed she understood what Bette was trying to accomplish. “Did she say that to you?”

“No…I just felt it.”

“How did she approach it? Was it tender or more abrasive?”

“I can see now, that she was being tender about it. At the time, I was so insulted and upset. It just was never part of our intimacy. I felt like she thought all she had to do was bring some rubber dick into our relationship, and that I was “fixed” so to speak.”

“But that is your interpretation. She didn’t say that to you did she?”

“No.”

“Okay…so, after that you broke up?”

Tina looked down, as a few tears streamed down her face. Holly handed her a tissue.   
“Yes.”

“So what has happened since then?”

“I started seeing John. He’s a senior in my class.”

“And how has that been going?”

“My family really likes him…a lot.”

“Good. That must feel nice.”

“It does. I have never seen my family so happy and accepting like they are with him. They would have never accepted Bette.”

“So things have been going well then?”

“I guess.” Tina’s voice appeared defeated.

“I sense that there is a little reservation there.”

“I’m just feeling really confused. Things are just so different between John and Bette.”

“As they should be.”

Tina became silent.

“There are definite differences between the sexes Tina. That’s to be expected, and comparing them would set yourself up for defeat.”

“I guess.” Tina muttered.

“Do the differences upset you?” Holly probed.

“They do.”

“In what way?”

Tina rolled her eyes. “God where do I start?”

“Wherever you want.”

“They are just so different. Bette was so much more tender, and caring. I could talk to her, and she was so attentive.”

“And John?”

“He is just so matter of fact. He is black and white, and totally the “bottom line” type of person.”

“Are you attracted to him?”

“He is nice looking.”

“But do you find yourself sexually attracted?”

“I’m not sure.”

Holly waited, giving Tina time to consider adding more to what she was saying. When it didn’t come naturally she pushed.

“Have you and him become intimate?”

Tina felt her face flush. 

***********  
SALON**

Bette walked into the salon where Shane was sweeping the floor, after having finished a haircut.

“Hey.”

“Hey Bette.”

“Do you have time for a trim?”

Shane looked at the clock. “Sure. I don’t have another appointment until 3pm.”

Bette sat in the chair, and looked over the different salon products that were on Shane’s counter. Her head was hurting, in more ways than one. Shane came over to the chair and pumped the pedal, bringing the chair up a little bit. “How much do you want taken off?”

“About a half an inch on the front and sides. The back…..” Bette put her fingers through her hair. “….about an inch there.”

“Okay.” Shane took her scissors and started to trim Bette’s hair. “So…did you get much sleep last night?” 

Bette looked at Shane in the mirror, seeing a smirk cross her face. “Just enough.”

“Did she keep you up all night?”

“No, not all night. Her wake up call was pretty interesting.”

Shane laughed. “Yeah, I know.”

Bette felt slightly uncomfortable to think that she and Shane were sharing the same woman. “Don’t you think this is a little weird.”

“What?”

“That we are like sharing the same chick?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t really given it much thought. I’m cool with it.”

Shane looked in the mirror at Bette’s face, which was now looking down, staring at one product on the counter. “Are you not cool with it?”

“I just feel so….removed.”

Shane moved behind Bette. “That’s what happens when you just have sex without being in a relationship. It has it’s pros and cons. You have to be cut out for it really.”

Bette wasn’t sure she was one that could be “cut out” for it. “I’m just confused. I don’t want to be hurt again by being with someone on the level I was with Tina. There is so much hurt when things don’t work out.”

“True…that’s why I rather just suck it up and go with something more free, and with less strings attached.”

“Maybe it’s just that this is the first time I have been with someone since Tina, that makes me feel so numb and empty.”

“It could be. Then again, maybe its just not your thing, no matter how much you may want it to be that way. You can’t be what you’re not.”

***************  
THERAPIST**

**“You can’t make yourself enjoy something you don’t, or be what you aren’t Tina.” Without knowing it, Holly was offering the same advice that Shane was offering to Bette.**

**“I just don’t think I am giving it enough of a chance. I think I can learn to accept it if I just try harder.” Tina added.**

**Holly placed her file and pen down on the desk. “Tina, you cannot make yourself do anything that doesn’t come naturally in terms of your desires. You can place yourself in a situation with John, and if you don’t enjoy the intimacy, and all the other things that being a male offers to you, then you deny yourself something big. There are some women, who go through life, wanting that straight lifestyle because as you have said, it offers less problems in terms of family acceptance, and society in general. They live their life like that, and sometimes are able to have a family, and continue to disregard their own needs. They find later, that they have been busy catering to everyone else’s expectations, whether that be their parents, husband, or children, they find that they have lost out. You are in a much better place than many of those women Tina. You are not married. You do not have any kids to be concerned with. You are still very young, and able to not allow yourself to miss out on years of being fulfilled and happy. That is, if you truly feel that you are attracted to women.”**

**“I don’t know. I don’t want to be.” Tina admitted. “It just becomes too hard. Much harder to have children, face society, raise those kids. What about my parents? I mean, surely they will disown me if I was to ever be with a woman, and especially raise a family with her.”**

**“Then it’s their loss isn’t it?” Holly said firmly. “You are leaving home soon, going to college. You are an adult now Tina. Your dependency on your family is different now than it was ten years ago, five years ago, or five months ago. If you make decisions based on what your parents want, and not what you want, I’m not sure you will be a happy woman later on in life. You need to know that you matter, and that you count. That there are some things in life, that no matter how much you may not want them to be, they are that way. You can wish away the possibility that you are gay, but it won’t go away Tina.”**

**Tina felt her face warm as the tears streamed down. “I just want to feel accepted by my family. My Dad was so happy with John. You should have seen him. He would never do that with Bette or anyone other women I would have been with.”**

**“Again Tina, then that would be your father’s choice. You are not responsible for your father’s actions or reactions. You can only be responsible for yourself and the choices that you make.”**

**“Do you think I’m gay?”**

**“Only you know that answer. I will say that you have made it pretty clear, that what you have experienced so far with John, seems to be forced and with little reward, except that it pleases your family, and is a simpler life on the surface. It might be called superficial to some, but only you know your feelings. The answer lies within your own heart, and what is most important to you. If your families acceptance is something that you want more than anything, including being honest to yourself, then you may do what some women have done and just go down a hetero path. I don’t know how long it can last, if at all. I won’t lie to you Tina, forcing yourself down a hetero path, is a harder road to travel as you lie to yourself, than a homosexual one traveled with complete honesty.”**

**Tina sighed. She remained confused, but Holly had pointed out a few things that were pretty clear. She was more attracted and fulfilled by women than men. The issue now was whether or not she would not only be able to be honest with herself, inwardly, but to also be honest externally as well.**


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

****************  
SALON ********************  
THERAPIST OFFICE**

By the time the session was coming to a close, Tina was in tears. She felt her life wasn’t her own anymore. Her resistance in accepting who she was, was making her feel extremely uneasy and conflicted. She had hoped that Holly would be able to confirm what her Mom had said, that you could learn to love someone. The truth was, you couldn’t, and in Tina’s heart she was fully aware that she couldn’t. However, the question remained what was more important to her, her family and societies acceptance, or her honesty to herself. 

“I wish I could say something that made things better Tina. It’s just that you need to be the one to make the decision as to what is best for you. I can only explain some of the obstacles that you might face in either direction you turn. The final decision is yours to make.”

“I just thought that maybe I didn’t like boys because of my being abused when I was young.” Tina used the tissue to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“I don’t think its always as cut and dry like that to be honest. Sometimes trust issues form, the ability to allow yourself to freely submit to a boy might be a reaction, but generally the actual “attraction” part isn’t something in your control.”

“Do you think you can like both girls and boys?” Tina asked.

“I do think that for some, that is certainly a possibility. What I tell them, is not to worry too much about making yourself fall into one particular place or the other There is no need to label yourself, or to feel that because some people do not understand bisexuality, that you force yourself to understand whether you are straight or gay. It’s only my opinion, but I do feel that sexuality is fluid. We need what we need, when we need it, and that is why it can be fluid at times.”

“I don’t want to be fluid. I don’t want to like girls. I just want to be normal.” Tina cried out.

Holly took a deep breath. “Tina, who ever told you that you aren’t normal?”

“My father. He can’t stand people who are gay.”

“By no means, does your father’s intolerance to differences in people make you abnormal. There will always be controversy by many who do not understand this Tina. They will argue the whole nature verses nurture theory, and would rather fall back on the thought process that their child is ‘choosing’ this lifestyle to get back at them, to rebel, to act out. It’s a lot easier to think in terms of it being a “choice” rather than genetics being responsible. My goodness, then there would have to be some accountability by the parent.”

“I just don’t know what to do. I feel so torn. Either way I seem to lose something or someone.”

“Well…you never lose when you are honest with yourself. Sometimes that honesty means change. Sometimes that honesty means that your life is never going to be the same, for there will be some people who support you, and there will be some who do not. Once you allow honesty to drive you, you will feel more free and less conflicted Tina.”

“I don’t know if I have the courage to do that.”

“Half of the struggle is making the decision, one way or another. That feeling of being in limbo, staying in one place as you try to figure whether you should step forward or backward, can just chisel at you. I think one thing that is good which happened, even though it may not seem so, is that you stopped keeping Bette a part of this process. It was only going to damage the relationship you had, which seems to be that way now, but in time I think she may look back and see that in stepping back, you were able to free her from this emotional roller coaster. I know when you did it, you were angry. However, it would have caused her and you, more pain to keep stringing her along when you didn’t know what it was you wanted, or wasn’t able to work some things out.”

“I still feel guilty. I feel like I cheated on her.”

“You had broken up before you were intimate with John. How did you cheat on her?”

“I just do. Bette wouldn’t have done this to me. I just know she wouldn’t have. She has been very upset over our relationship ending.”

“I’m sure she is, but she will move on as well. This process hasn’t been about Bette or Johnny. This has been about you Tina. Unfortunately you have two other’s that were brought into this, and who in a sense have endured a little misfortune with their emotions as a result of this journey you have taken, because yes, they have been affected by your actions, like it or not. It doesn’t make you bad person though, and you need to remember that.

***********  
BETTE’S**

“Hey baby girl, where were you last night?” Kit asked.

“I stayed over at Shane’s place. She has an apartment for the summer. I told Mom I was staying.”

“I haven’t talked to Mom about it.” Kit said as she bit into an apple. “What time is this dinner?”

“I don’t know. Where’s Mom?”

“I think she is out back in the garden.”

Bette went into the living room and slumped onto the sofa.

“You can see your belly button ring ya know. Dad is going to freak out if he sees that.”

Bette looked down and pulled her shirt down a bit. “I think he seen it already.”

“Think? Girl you would know it!” Kit said, taking a seat on the chair. “So fill me in, what’s been going on?”

“Nothing.” Bette was short. She didn’t want to talk much about her life.

“Oh come on. Don’t be going shy on me.”

“No, there isn’t much to tell. I hung at Shane’s place last night. I’m going to paint a Southwestern mural on her walls in her living room.”

“So you are going to hang there a bit this summer?”

“I think so, yeah. I’m gonna tell Mom and Dad that I’m going to probably be there most nights.”

Kit smirked. “Hmmm…might be a spectacular summer for you then eh?”

“I doubt it.”

“Come on, an apartment with Shane?”

“We aren’t like that. She isn’t my type.”

“I’m not just saying that. I mean, there must be some girls she knows. Ya know…get you out of this rut.”

“I don’t need her to help set me up. I’m not interested in relationships anyway. I’m happy with just meeting girls and keeping it simple.”

“Platonic?” Kit questioned.

“Not necessarily. If things happen they happen. But I’m not going to give them my heart. I did that once, and I got screwed.”

Kit knew that Bette was still hurting very much in terms of her breakup. Bette was a beautiful young woman, who had the potential of getting anyone she wanted. However, the one she wanted was not wanting her, and that posed the problem. “Don’t ever give up baby girl.”

“I already have.”

“Well…you may feel that now, but try not to. Do you remember Andrew?”

“Yeah.”

“I gave that boy my heart my senior year in high school. I tolerated so much shit with him, because I loved him. It took some time, but after we had broken up and time went by, I was finding that I could feel love again. It just takes time, that’s all. Just don’t go and write it all off.”

“I don’t know.” Bette responded, looking up at the ceiling.

************************  
THERAPIST’S OFFICE**

Tina had gone into the waiting room having finished her session. Her eyes were swollen, her eye makeup off. She was an image of a young girl who was feeling pain at the moment. “I’m ready,” she said softly. 

Tina’s mother looked up at her daughter as she gathered her things. Tina walked past her, out the door and too the car. Once they were both inside the car, Tina’s mother questioned her. “Are you okay?”

Tina burst into tears. She placed her head in her hands and continued to sob, unable to form a word if her life depended on it. Catherine placed her hand on her daughters back. “Tina, please…what’s happened?”

Tina continued to hide her face, herself, her pain, in the palm of both hands. 

“Tina, I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me. Therapy isn’t suppose to be having you come out in tears like this. What did she say to you that upset you?”

Tina sobbed through her opened fingers. “I…I’m not …happy with…who I am.”

“Not happy? You are a bright, beautiful young lady. What are you not happy with?”

Tina raised her head and looked at her mother, who was now able to get a better look at her daughters face. Her swollen lids had become the center of attention. “I can’t keep trying to please everyone else.” Tina was extremely disjointed. Her anger had come to the surface. “Dad is happy and thrilled with Johnny. Why couldn’t he be like that with Bette? Why couldn’t he accept things?”

“Tina, I told you before…your father is--” Catherine was unable to finish the sentence before Tina exploded.

“That’s bullshit! I don’t want to hear it Mom. I don’t. I can’t hear that he is just set in his ways. He is a bigot and you know it. I tried okay? I tried with Johnny, and it doesn’t feel right Mom. I forced myself to have sex with him, just so I could try to make myself be what everyone wants from me, and I can’t do it okay? I just can’t.”

Before Catherine could say a thing, Tina had opened the car door and started to run.

“Tina!” Catherine shouted as she got out of the car, passing quickly to the front as she watched her daughter cross the road and just keep running. She went back into the car and tried her best to follow Tina from a distance, hoping to get closer and closer so she could get her to stop running and come back into the car. The traffic lights didn’t work to her advantage and neither did the congestion itself. She reached into her purse and dialed Tina’s cell phone, which went directly to her voicemail. “Damn it!!”


	42. Chapter 42

CHAPTER 42

*************  
BETTE’S**

“Honey, your father is going to work late tonight. He would like to join us another night this week. I’m sorry.” 

“What else is new? He always works late and changes the plans that have been made,” Bette said scornfully.

“Bette, that wasn’t very nice. Your father works very hard for this family.”

“He’s a workaholic Mom. He works hard for his image.” Bette got up from the sofa and walked passed a rather surprised Kit, out the door to her car.

“What is going on with that girl? I thought the puberty years were bad.” 

“Mom, she’s just dealing with a lot. She’ll be okay, just give her some time.”

“So…I guess it’s just us then.”

“Well actually, I was thinking I might call Darlene and see if she wanted to go for Chinese. I think she’s in town this week.”

“Oh…well…okay. How has Darlene been?”

“Good, we email every so often to keep in touch. She was my best friend growing up.”

“Lord don’t I know that. I think that girl could smell my fried chicken from the school yard.”

Kit laughed. “She sure did like your cooking Mom.”

*****************  
SHANE’S APT.**

Bette walked past the salon which was now closed, and proceeded upstairs to the apartment. She decided she would begin painting the mural on the wall if Shane didn’t have any objections. She knocked on the door before attempting to open it, but found it was locked. She opened the door with her key, and proceeded inside. As she started to push the few pieces of furniture, including the sofa, Cheri came to the door, which Bette kept open.

“Hey you. I thought you were going to dinner tonight?”

“I was. My dad ended up having to work late again, so we had to change plans. We are going to try for another night.”

“Oh…sorry to hear that. Well…I guess I’m not that sorry, considering it means you are back here and I get to see you once again.” Cheri smiled before helping Bette push the sofa aside a little further. “So….you didn’t get to eat?”

“Nope.”

“I have some things in my cupboards. I’m sure I can throw something together. How about it?”

“Don’t go through any trouble. It’s okay, I can order a sandwich or something.”

“Don’t be silly. Why order something, when I can put a little something together. Do you like shrimp and scallops?”

“Do I? For sure.”

“Okay then…I’ll get started. Do you know if Shaney is going to be around?” Cheri asked before leaving.

“I don’t know. She said she was gonna maybe catch up with me later, when she thought I was going out for dinner.”

“Well, I’ll make a little extra just in case.”

Cheri went across the hall to begin dinner, as Bette started opening a couple of different color paint cans.

* ***************  
THE PLANET**

Alice brought Dana her drink. “God this feels so weird,” Alice admitted as she straightened the bobby pin that held some of her hair back.

“It’s a job isn’t it? You’re just lucky that it came along when it did.”

“I guess. I thought Jenny would never leave this place.”

“Me either. Too bad they didn’t make you wear one of those little waitress outfits.” Dana joked.

“Oh puhhhhleaseeee. That would be pathetic, and I wouldn’t do it.” 

“You have to always please the customer Al. You get a better tip.” Dana smirked.

“Yeah? Is that what I should do? So you wouldn’t have any problem with me looking to get some good tips from the customers eh?”

Dana’s grin faded rather quickly. “I was just kidding. Of course I would have a problem.”

“I’m just glad to be off in 10 minutes.”

“Me too. What do you want to do tonight?” Dana asked.

“Anything where I don’t have to use a cash register or worry about handing out straws.”

Dana chuckled before taking a sip of her drink.

Tina hadn’t allowed herself to slow down before running into the Planet, completely out of breath.

Dana and Alice both looked towards the front door, as did other patrons when the bells on the inside clanged abruptly as the door was pushed open.

“Tina?” Alice said softly as she watched Tina breathing hard upon entering.

“What the….?” Dana was equally confused. 

Tina looked around, and spotted Alice and Dana. She proceeded to their table, sweat visibly present on her face, along with her swollen eyes.

“What the hell happened to you? Why are you out of breath?” Alice asked.

“Get her some water Al.” Dana said. “Tina…what’s happened?”

“I…h…have…to…..catc….my b…breath.” 

By the time Alice came back to the table with a large glass of ice cold water, Tina’s breaths had become a bit more slower.

“Tee…what’s wrong?”

“I can’t do it anymore…”

Dana and Alice looked at one another. “You can’t do what?” Dana asked gently.

“I can’t be with him.”

“Did he hurt you?” Alice questioned. “Cause if he did, he won’t be walking right for a long time.”

“No…no he didn’t. I just came from my therapy. I’m so lost Al…I’m so empty. I’m scared. I don’t know which way is which anymore.”

“I thought therapy was suppose to help you figure things out…not make you more confused.”

“It’s not the therapy that has made me more confused. It’s me….myself.”

“How did you get here?” Dana said looking towards the front windows, and not seeing any familiar vehicle outside.

“I ran.”

“You ran?” Alice asked.

“Yes. I just came out of therapy. I was in the car with my Mom. I couldn’t help it…I just …I blurted out that I had sex with Johnny, that it wasn’t enjoyable and it wasn’t who I am. I then booked.”

“Oh Tina. I’m so sorry.” Alice said as Tina broke into tears once again.

Dana’s heart ached as well. No one wanted to see Tina so messed up as she was. “So where is your Mom now?”

“I don’t know.”

Dana spoke softly. “She’s probably looking for you.”

“Maybe.”

“You should maybe call her Tee. I can call her if you want.” Alice offered.

“I’ll call her in a minute. I just don’t want to go home. I can’t stand living there with a father that is so prejudiced and makes me feel so wrong.”

“I know…I’m sure that is extremely difficult for you to be in that environment.”

“He was willing to let me go to Berkley, just cause I was with John. He’s a bastard!”

Tina’s emotions were all over the place. The girls did their best to calm her down.

***************  
SHANE’S APT**

As Bette worked on the mural, she was finding herself lost in her work. She loved painting, and appreciated that ability to find how the placement of colors and shapes could draw feeling from the person who set their eyes upon a piece. This was the first time she was embarking on such a large canvas, but the challenge was motivating and a real form of therapy for her.

As she painted, she found her thoughts jumping from Tina to Cheri. It was definitely true, that allowing herself to be with someone else, did in fact break a little bit of that link to Tina, but it never truly erased it. Bette’s feelings for Tina ran much deeper than that which could be easily replaced or forgotten.

“Here…thought you could used a cold drink.” Cheri handed Bette a glass of ice water.

“Thank you.”

Cheri’s eyes looked at the two colors which Bette had applied. “What will it be?”

“Ahhh well you will just have to wait and see.”

“Oh come on now. I’m sleeping with the artist. Doesn’t that have any bennies?”

Bette smiled. “Nope.”

“Bette!” Cheri pushed Bette’s shoulder gently. “You don’t play very fair.”

“Sometimes I don’t.” Bette rallied back, before dipping her brush back into the can and carefully applying the paint to the wall. “When it comes to art…sometimes it isn’t always fair.”

“What does that mean?” 

“Have you studied art at all?”

“Not really.” Cheri admitted a bit sheepishly.

“Well, I’ll lend you a book of mine. It’s a wonderful book that I was expected to read for my Art Appreciation class in Junior High. It was fabulous.”

“I’d be happy to take a look at it.” Cheri watched Bette paint in silence for a few more minutes before excusing herself and returning back to her apartment to check on the dinner.

***********  
PLANET**

“I’m not sure where she is right now, but that is where she has been hanging her hat.” Alice said. “Should I call first ?”

“I don’t know.” Tina had wanted to talk with Bette. She was still her best friend, and not sure what she really wanted from her, but just needed to know she could be in her presence and talk. 

“Well if you don’t call, how will you know where she is?” Dana asked.

“I think we should just stop by the apartment. It isn’t that far from here anyway.” Alice suggested. “Let me just punch out.”

“She probably won’t even want to speak to me.” 

Dana felt bad for Tina. “Don’t say that. You both have loved one another. Why would she disregard you like that?”

“Because, I have been selfish, and obviously hurt her.”

“Okay, well sometimes when people break up, things get a little messy. That happens.” Dana tried hard to give Tina some hope, that Bette would still be there for her in some way at this hard time.

“I don’t know…I just don’t know if she will talk to me. I don’t blame her if she doesn’t.”

“I think Bette is a much bigger person than you have her as right now. Has she been hurt Tina? You bet she has. She was in love with you, in ways maybe you couldn’t understand. I’m sure she felt her heart was ripped out of her chest as you made the decision to engage with men. However, at the same time, I think inside her heart she understood your need to do so. I think she just wished things were different, that’s all.”

“Me too,” Tina said solemnly. “More than you know.”

“Okay…I’m ready…let’s go.” Alice said as she removed the few bobby pins from her hair. “I’ll give Porter a call on the way there anyway.”

“Whose car do you want to take?” Dana asked.

“You can drive Dane. Just bring me back here to get my car later okay?”

“Ok.”

As the girls drove towards Shane’s apartment, Alice dialed Bette, while Tina dialed her Mom.

“Mom…it’s me…”

“Hey Porter, it’s Al. We are on our way to Shane’s apartment. I figured you might be hanging there. Tina is with us and needs to talk to you. Give me a call okay?”

“…yes I’ll talk to you later when I get home. I just need to talk to Bette….I know, I know Mom. I’m sorry I worried you…kay…I love you too.”

“I got Bette’s voicemail.”

“I wish I had gotten my Mom’s. She isn’t very happy.”

“I’m sure she was worried Tee.” Dana offered as she adjusted her rearview mirror. 

Tina gazed out the window, hoping that Bette would give her a chance to at least talk. It was all she wanted and needed at this time. She knew the chances of them ever going back to where things were earlier, were slim to none. She didn’t expect it. At this time, she just missed her best friend, and needed her shoulder, ears, and insight more than anything else in the world.


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER 43  
****************

“Bette, where did you want to eat? My place or in here?”

“Maybe your place will be a little better. The fumes are a little stronger than I thought they would be.”

“Okay, well when you’re done cleaning up, come on over. I’ll keep the door open.”

“Alright.”

Cheri walked over to her apartment, as Bette washed her hands in the kitchen sink. 

***************

“Well, she may not have answered her phone, but her car is here.” Alice remarked as she spotted Bette’s vehicle parked in front of the salon. “That’s the salon where Shane is working now. The apartment is upstairs. Should we wait here, or do you want us to come up?” 

“I think we should just give them some time,” Dana piped in.

“Do you mind waiting here?” Tina asked tentatively.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Al!” Dana remarked sharply. “Tina…go ahead.”

Tina made her way from the car and through the first door and up the stairs. As she reached the top she wasn’t sure which apartment was Shane’s. She passed by the one on the right, noticing a table set for two, then looked at the opposite doorway. Upon peaking in, she saw Bette at the kitchen sink washing her hands. She was wearing an old pair of khaki shorts and a wife beater that she often wore when she painted in her attic. Tina felt both peace in seeing Bette, but also a bit of panic as well. A person who she always found ease in talking with, had become something so difficult to do now. Bette took hold of the hair band she had placed by the sink and put her hair up. She then reached for the dish towel on the counter and wiped her hands as she turned around.

Bette was stunned to find Tina standing in the doorway. “Tina? What are you doing here?”

Tina couldn’t help but allow the tears to stream down her face. “I…I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong?” Bette felt a little panicked. She had seen Tina cry at different moments, particularly more recently with her chosen journey. This time it seemed a little different. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry.” Tina wiped her eyes, trying to control her emotions. “I didn’t plan on crying.”

Whatever pain Tina had brought into Bette’s life, Bette had let go of at that moment. Tina needed her, and she was obviously in some form of distress. Bette was never one to turn her back on someone in need, especially not the woman who she had been completely in love with.

Bette took a step closer to her. “It’s okay…come sit on the sofa.” 

Tina hesitated. She was feeling a rush of emotion all at once. With Bette’s back to her she felt a surge of courage suddenly fill her. She wasn’t sure that once Bette turned to face her, she would have any nerve to share a thing. Because of this, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind, and what had been on it all day.

"I never should have let you go…“ 

Bette looked back, realizing she was the only one now walking towards the sofa. Tina continued, “...I would do anything for another chance.”

The words appeared as sincere as ever. The look on Tina’s face was of both hope and trepidation. “…I'm not afraid to make a fool out of myself."

Bette remained silent, as Tina took a few steps toward her. Her heart was mandating her to open her arms and invite Tina into a safe and sure embrace. The logical side of her was remaining cautious, vigilant, and removed. Before Bette could act on a thing, Tina noticed the large hickey on her neck. She stood in one place, unable to move or speak.

So many thoughts went through Tina’s head as she stared at Bette’s neck. Bette felt Tina’s eyes there, and it didn’t take very long for her to realize just what had Tina’s attention.

“Tee…” was the only thing Bette could utter as her hand went to her neck. Hiding it now was obviously not going to change the fact Tina had seen it. It was more a reaction than anything else.

“This was a bad idea. What was I thinking?” Tina said, getting ready to turn around. 

Bette walked over to Tina and took hold of one shoulder, encouraging her to stop and turn back to her. “Tee…no…just talk to me about what’s going on. You wouldn’t have come here, and wouldn’t be in tears if you didn’t want to talk, or need something from me.”

Tina stared into Bette’s large brown eyes. It felt like it had been so long since she had been able to do so. She searched for her love, her heart, her soul. Yes, she sure needed something from Bette, to go back to how things were. To forget she had ever done some of the things she had done. To hold onto the woman who had loved her in ways no one else truly had. As her eyes fixed with Bette’s, she was startled.

“Hey babe, it’s all set what’s …” Cheri stopped in her tracks as she spotted the blonde standing in front of Bette. “keeping…you?”

Tina turned and looked at Cheri. She was a rather sexy and beautiful woman, who appeared to be in her twenties. She was wearing a tight pair of jeans, a pair of stiletto’s, and a black, form fitting top. Tina felt her face turn warm from jealousy. ‘babe? She called her babe?’ she thought to herself. 

“I should go.” Tina said as she pulled away from Bette. 

“No…Tina…it’s okay...stay.” Bette started towards Tina, who was making her way back to the door.

Cheri made a connection with the name immediately. “Hey it’s cool…I’ll just be in my place. Take your time.”

Cheri turned back towards her apartment. Tina was now at the doorway, watching as Cheri went into the apartment where the table for two was set.

“Tina…you don’t have to leave.”

Tina turned around and looked at Bette. She refused to let the tears fall on her face. They remained in the lids. She wasn’t sure what to feel. Anger didn’t seem appropriate. Bitterness wasn’t a valid option. She had let Bette go…what did she expect her to do? Bette had a life, and she was a beautiful woman who deserved every chance that someone had to offer to her. It still hurt like hell, to see the mark on her neck, as well as the new woman who seemed to have her attention. 

“Did you hear me? You don’t need to leave.”

Tina mustered as much strength as she could. “No, I do.” With that, she turned and walked down the stairs. Bette stood at the top, watching Tina take each step, knowing that the tone that was in her voice was certain. That whatever was going on, seemed to be resolved with little to no words, and only by the sight of Cheri and the mark that was left on her neck. Whatever answers Tina was searching for, she seemed to have gotten them, in a way she had not anticipated.

************  
OUTSIDE**

**Tina opened the back door and got in.**

**“That was fast,” Alice said as she lowered the radio and turned around to look at Tina. “What happened?”**

**“Please just take me home.”**

**Dana looked in the rear view mirror. “Are you okay?”**

**“Yes. She was busy.”**

**“Too busy to talk to you?” Dana asked. “What the hell is up with that?”**

**“No…no, it’s not her fault. She wanted me to stay.”**

**“Okay, what am I missing here?” Alice questioned. “If you wanted to go there to talk, and she wanted you to stay, what are you doing back here?”**

**“She was busy….there’s a woman that is up there. She came in when we first started to talk and called her ‘babe’ and had set a table for two. Clearly it was for Bette and her.”**

**Alice and Dana looked at one another, remembering that it must have been that girl Cheri that Shane had spoken about.**

**“You must be mistaken. I think that is the chick that Shane was seeing.” Alice offered.**

**“She had a hickey on her neck Al!”**

**“What? Really? When did that happen?” Alice inquired.**

**“How do I know? It was on her neck, then that chick came from what I believe was her place, and called her babe. She obviously had been cooking something. Unfortunately it smelled good in the hall when I was making my way upstairs to the apartment.”**

**“There has to be a misunderstanding.” Alice continued to try to figure out a reasonable explanation. “I should call Shane and just ask who this chick is, and if she has anything to do with Bette.”**

**“No…don’t bother. Look, whether she does or doesn’t, let’s face it, it’s none of my business right? I mean, I let her go. Even if this woman isn’t involved with Bette, she got a hickey somewhere, from someone right?”**

**Dana agreed with Tina. “I don’t think we should call Shane either.”**

**Alice looked from Tina to Dana. “Are you sure?”**

**Dana nodded. “I think Tina is right. Come on, we all know that there was going to be a chance that Bette moved on. Tina had moved on too with what’s his name.”**

**Tina looked over at Dana, a little disgruntled that she hadn’t remembered it.**

**“Okay…well…there still could have been an explanation.” Alice was relentless. “I’m calling Shane.”**

**“Can we please just leave?” Tina begged.**

******************  
UPSTAIRS** **

**Cheri came out of the apartment and placed her hand on Bette’s back. “You can’t just stand out here babe. Come inside.”**

**Bette looked ever at Cheri. A part of her wanted to run down those stairs, and after Tina. She wasn’t even sure how Tina had gotten there. The other part of her wanted to just go inside Cheri’s apartment, eat dinner, and then lose herself in moments of heat and irresponsibility.**

**“Bette…come on sweetie.” Cheri placed her hand around Bette’s waist and encouraged her to go inside.**

******************  
OUTSIDE** **

**Tina wiped tears from the eyes that had seen too much of that today.**

**“Shaney, it’s Al.”**

**“Hey….what’s up?”**

**“That chick in your apartment building, are you dating her or something?”**

**“What? What are you asking me that for?”**

**Alice sighed. “Shane, just tell me.”**

**“No, I’m not dating her.”**

**“Okay…let me rephrase, are you doing her?”**

**Dana shook her head. “So classy Alice.”**

**“Jesus Al, why is that your business?” Shane responded bluntly.**

**“Because, we are here at your place, and …fuck Shane, it’s a long story. I just needed to know if that chick that is upstairs making dinner for Bette is your gal or not.”**

**Shane was completely confused. “No…Cheri is not my gal. We were together for a stint or two. She’s with Bette now I think. Nothing real serious, just a little fun I guess.”**

**Alice’s eyes widened by Shane’s confirmation. “oh…okay…well….um…next time you decide to go steady, then um…just tell us huh? No more surprise visits.”**

**Alice flipped the phone shut, hoping that neither of the girls would have any questions. She didn’t have the courage or heart to be the one to tell Tina that Cheri was actually with Bette, even if there were many times she had hoped that Bette would just move on and give Tina a taste of her own medicine.**

**“She’s going steady? With who? That chick Tina saw upstairs?”**

**“Dane, do you have to be so nosy? Like Shane said, it’s really none of our business.”**

**“No kidding Al, that was what I said to begin with. However, now you seem to have some information, so business or not, what’s the scoop?”**

**Alice looked at Dana and made a motion with her hand, not realizing Tina saw it from the back seat.**

**“It’s okay Al. Thanks for trying to spare me, but I’m not an idiot. I could see it in Bette’s eyes the moment that girl came to the door.”**

**“I’m sorry Tina.” Alice whispered under her breath.**

**“Can we please just go Dana?”**

**Just as Dana pulled away from the curb, Bette had opened the outside door of the apartment building. She watched as Dana’s car became smaller and smaller.**


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER 44

******************  
CHERI’S PLACE**

Bette sat down at the table, her need for food momentarily abandoned. Cheri could see the struggle and pain at the surface.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Bette stared at the plate of seafood and pasta that filled her plate. She shook her head, declining the invitation.

“You still love her,” Cheri stated, more than asked.

Bette looked to the ceiling as her eyes filled with water. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to be strong. It’s okay to feel sad, hurt, all of it.”

Bette struggled to keep her composure. “I don’t.”

“Okay,” Cheri said quietly as Bette composed herself. 

“It smells good.”

Cheri knew that the conversation was forced, but if talking about something else was more helpful at this time, then she decided to go with it. “Yeah? Well I’m glad it at least smells so. How about tasting it ?”

Bette placed a little pasta and a scallop on her fork, then brought it to her lips. Cheri waited for an opinion.

“Mmm…it’s good.”

Cheri smiled as she sampled a little from her own dish. “I guess it isn’t half bad at all.”

Bette’s mind was completely on Tina. She couldn’t muster enough interest or appetite to continue eating. Instead she poked at her food as her thoughts returned to the blonde. She looked over at Cheri, who watched her discomfort.

“What do you need Bette? What can I do for you to help?”

“There isn’t anything to do. I’m just wondering what brought her here. She was obviously upset. I don’t like seeing her that way.”

“I understand.”

“I know that some will say that she maybe didn’t care when I was upset, but that isn’t me. It’s not me to just see someone hurting and not do something.”

“Honey, I think you did. You offered for her to stay and talk right?”

Bette put her hands through her hair. “Yes…I did.”

“Well you can’t force someone to want to stay and talk. That isn’t your fault.”

“I know it isn’t. My logical side tells me that. My heart…it goes somewhere else.”

“Always the artist babe.”

“Huh?”

“You…you think so deep. You are an artist.”

Bette smiled slightly. “Maybe I am.”

Cheri could feel how lost Bette was. She was so far away. “What is it you need Bette?”

“I don’t know anymore. I feel so…I feel so numb.”

“I remember feeling something close to that when I broke up with Carrie. She was the first woman I truly ever loved.”

“How do you get over it?” Bette asked.

“I’m not quite sure. Time I guess. I found that with each passing day, I felt a little less and less for her. Perhaps I may have gotten involved with other things that occupied my thoughts more. “

“How long ago?” 

Cheri paused a moment as she gave it some thought. “Hmm…about a year ago.”

“Are you over her?”

“Yes. I can say I am. They say it takes about a year to do so.”

“Great.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s like that for everyone. That’s just in general.”

“Do you mind my asking what happened?”

Cheri didn’t want to go down that painful path. “To be honest, I don’t mind you asking. But, I also can’t go backwards anymore Bette…only ahead.”

“I understand.”

“I promise…time does heal those old wounds. Give yourself some time.”

“Thanks.” Although Cheri didn’t say too much that Bette didn’t already know, it still was comforting to know someone else had traveled the path she is now, and seems to have gotten over a love lost.

Bette got up and placed her plate on the counter near the sink. She paused there, staring at the drain for a few minutes. As she remained in this one spot, she suddenly felt Cheri’s hands search her waist. Her mouth was near her ear. “I also know that besides time…other things tend to help you forget…” Cheri licked the skin below Bette’s ear. “…help you move on…” Her hands slipped under Bette’s shirt, feeling her tight abdomen. “…help you feel something instead of that numb and empty feeling….”

Bette turned her head slightly. Cheri wasn’t giving her room for movement. She was dominating the moment. “I…I’m not very interested at the moment.”

“Baby, interest is something that can change, in a moment.” Cheri dipped her hand beneath Bette’s belly button, passing by her ring, inside her waistband. “If you give me a moment, I can get you SO interested.”

Cheri’s words, said through warm breaths against Bette’s ear, and the hair which dangled there, sent a tingle down Bette’s spine. Her mind was slowly getting further away from Tina, and more towards Cheri and what she was doing to her.

“I just…” Bette’s breathing was more shallow, and almost halted the moment that Cheri’s finger grazed her clit. “Fuck…I…I can’t…I…” Bette struggled with her thoughts as her body easily started reacting to this woman.

“That’s right…it feels good doesn’t it? It feels like you just want more and more…..more than I could even possibly fill, but you want me to try…you want me to fuck you Bette and make you feel alive, and free, and without constraint or obligation.”

Bette leaned her head back against Cheri as her brows twisted, her legs became a bit more weak. She felt herself surrendering to the lust that had quickly formed in that moment. The need, the desire, the passion. It wasn’t love. It was irresponsible, spontaneous, and mindless all at the same time. Sex without feelings was safe for Bette, and at the moment she just wanted the safety of something. She turned around quickly and grabbed Cheri’s face, pulling her lips into her own, filling her mouth with her tongue as Cheri competed for that same place. Both found their hands pulling at both their own clothes and that of the other, as they stripped from the fabric which bound them and prevented their skin from merging. Once naked and enthralled with one another completely, Cheri lifted Bette so her ass was on the counter, the sink right behind her. Bette spread her legs far apart, bracing herself so she wouldn’t fall back into the sink. Cheri took very little time to view the most intimate part of Bette’s body.

“God you are so fucking beautiful…and wet.”

Cheri placed her fingers near the glistening, moist, residue that covered parts of Bette’s inner most parts. Bette watched Cheri take the same fingers that touched her, now enter her mouth and taste her. Cheri closed her eyes. “Mmmmm…..you are one to be savored Bette Porter.”

“Don’t savor me Cheri….just fuck me.” Bette was demanding. Her eyes were as dark and hard, as she made her request. She spread her legs even further apart.

Cheri brought her head close to Bette’s center and licked her from the base of her vagina up to her clit. This caused Bette to moan and push herself back against the fixtures of the sink.

“Yess….” Bette uttered, as a response to each lick that took in each part of her center. She felt her center throb with the need for release as blood flow increased. “More…please.”

Cheri slipped two fingers inside of Bette as her mouth took over her clit. She pumped them in and out of her, curling them with each pull backwards, extending them with each push forward. Sex was a form of art in itself, and each artist had their own method of bringing something to life. Cheri knew the G-spot well, and also knew the many misconceptions of how to touch that spot. Where it was, how to stimulate it, was something she was a pro at, and she was working her majestic and creative abilities on this masterpiece called Bette Porter.

**********  
HOME**

Tina had come into her house, which was a little more quiet than it normally was at that time of the night. When she walked into the living room, her mother was sitting on the sofa reading the latest Ken Follett book. She jumped when she noticed Tina in the room.

“Tina! Jesus…you were so quiet.”

“I’m sorry Mom.” Tina took a seat on the sofa next to her Mom. “I’m sorry about this afternoon too.”

Catherine placed the book on the coffee table, removed her eyeglasses, and placed them there as well. “You worried me Tina.”

“I know I did. I’m sorry for that Mom.”

Tina’s eyes weren’t any better. Most of the drive home, she continued to allow her tears to flow freely.

“You look terrible.”

“I feel terrible.”

Catherine took a deep breath in. “You said quite a bit, just before running from the car.”

Tina looked down. She recalled blurting out everything about Johnny, as well as something about Bette too. 

“You never said a thing about wanting to have relations with this young boy. Did you use some protection?”

“Yes…yes we did. Both times.”

Catherine arched her brow. “Both times?”

Tina went silent. She didn’t want to have this discussion with her Mom. “Do we have to talk about this?”

“Yes, I think we need to. You were very upset today Tina. I want to know what’s going on.”

“You can’t handle it Mom.”

“Try me.”

Tina was a little surprised at her Mother’s strong personality for the moment.

“I can’t talk about it.”

“You can. It’s just you and I here. Your father took Mark to a baseball game. They won’t be home for some time.”

Tina looked at her Mother. She yearned to be honest. She played it over in her head on so many occasions when she and Bette were together. Yes, she did have a moment when she shouted a profession, but she felt that her parents disregarded the depth and genuineness of that affirmation, so it was so much easier for Tina to retreat back at that moment, and make pretend she never made the admission.

“Tina…please. Please let me try to help.”

Tina searched hard for some courage. “I had sex with Johnny…I thought…I thought it was the right thing to do.”

“Did he pressure you to have sex?”

“No…not really. I wanted to.”

“You haven’t known him very long,” Catherine remarked.

“I know. It…” 

“It what?”

Tina felt embarrassed. “It wasn’t that I loved him.”

Catherine closed her eyes. The pain of her daughter’s words started to pierce her heart. “Then why would you want to give something to him that is so special, so private?”

“I wanted to know Mom. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to know.”

“To know?”

“To know if I didn’t find an attraction to boys because of what had happened with my uncle. I just never felt like I really felt things that I should for boys. I just thought that maybe it was because I lost so much trust because of how I was mishandled. When I fell for Bette, I wasn’t sure if I was falling for a woman because I felt she represented everything that a man didn’t, in terms of being as far away from the memory of my abuse as possible.”

It pained Catherine even more to hear her daughter discuss this part of their past. For the most part, it was a family secret which was buried, and where the family felt most comfortable keeping it. 

“I’m sorry about that time in your life Tina. Had I known that was happening, I would have put a stop to it.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore Mom. It happened. “ Tina would rather pacify it, than have to resurrect it completely with her mother. “What happened was that I realized, that it wasn’t so much about what had happened to me, as it was that I just don’t find boys attractive.”

“Tina you are still very young. You have only been with one boy. Maybe he isn’t the right one?”

“I have only been with one girl too Mom, and yet I feel something incredibly stronger with her, than anything in my life.” Tina looked down at her hands as tears formed once again. “I blew it. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Bette and I have been broken up. Ever since Daddy had that big meltdown, and I felt so much pressure on me, I just couldn’t keep things going. We knew we would end up at difference schools. There was just too much happening at once that was pulling us in different directions from one another.”

“What does Holly say about all this?”

“She says I don’t need to define myself. She talked about sexuality being fluid. She said that some people are straight, some are gay, and some are even both.”

“Both?”

“Yeah, bisexual. Where you like boys and girls.”

“But you said you didn’t like boys.”

“No…I don’t. It was disgusting Mom. I tried…after what you said, about learning to love something or someone, I forced myself to try again, even after I hated it, and it hurt, and…I just couldn’t…I failed.”

Tina started to cry harder, while the words ripped at her mother’s heart. Her personal words coming back to her, from the mouth of her own flesh and blood which was in deep pain. She placed her hand on Tina’s back.

“I’m sorry Tina. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not really true.”

Tina lifted her head. “What’s not really true?”

“That you can learn to love something or someone.” 

Catherine looked up at the ceiling. She never thought she would ever have to explain a thing about her life, her decisions. However, life went into a direction where she now realized that she needed to share something very personal with her daughter. The bond between mother and child was deep, and there was some relevance that needed to come to light, so that Tina could be saved from walking the same painful path that Catherine once walked, many years earlier.


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45

“Tina, what I am going to say to you, only two other people alive know about.”

Tina looked at her mother. When she did, she saw that same expression on her face that she had in the kitchen, when Johnny and her dad were playing golf and she and her Mom were discussing relationships. Tina braced herself, for she knew whatever it was that her Mother had to reveal, was something only few ever were aware of.

Catherine cleared her throat. “About 25 years ago, when your father and I were in college together, and we were dating, I had gotten really close to another student. She and I shared a dorm.”

Tina never heard her Mother talk very much about college. She was aware that she and her father went to the same school, but she never knew much beyond that. It was always her father who spoke of his college years, and was more involved in her school choices. She always just chalked it up to her father being slightly dominant in their marriage, and her mother taking that back seat she often did.

Catherine continued. “I called her Mags. She was from Jersey,” Catherine remembered fondly. “She was a gorgeous young woman. The guys were all after her, but it wasn’t what she wanted.”

Tina looked confused. “What do you mean?”

Catherine paused for a moment. “She was a lesbian.”

Tina was stunned. “She was?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. It must have been hard for her 25 years ago.”

“Very much so. Anyway, as I said, your Father and I were dating and things had been getting quite serious. I definitely had feelings for him, and those feelings deepened when we had started to have relations with one another.”

Tina rolled her eyes at her Mom’s referencing sex as relations. She did not want to hear about her parent’s intimacy. However, she knew that if her Mother was even treading down that road, whatever she had to say must be important. She sucked it up and continued to listen closely.

“….at the time your dad and I were together, something unusual was occurring with Mags and I. There was this incredible bond growing. We became inseparable, to the point that your dad was getting a bit jealous. I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time, but there was….”

Tina interrupted. “Pregnant? Twenty-Five years ago?” Tina had done the math in her head. She was eighteen years old, and she was the oldest. 

“Yes…at the time of “the” weekend, I didn’t know it though.” 

“The weekend? What weekend?” Tina asked.

“It was a huge party. It had been planned for months, in the dorm that weekend.” Catherine paused as she reflected. “The weekend that Mags and I had…had slept together…had relations.” Catherine looked down at her hands on her lap. She had never revealed this to anyone.

Tina was completely stunned. She didn’t know what to say to her Mother, who appeared embarrassed. The shock turned to questions and a need to confirm what she said. “You slept with her?”

“Yes.”

“Damn.” Tina knew she was showing her disbelief. “ Did Dad know?”

“He ended up finding out.”

“How?”

“Richie, another student who was at the party walked in on us. He was good pals with your father.”

“Oh my god. What did Dad do?”

“He was VERY upset as you could imagine. I never planned on things happening, and I never wanted to hurt him Tina. I felt terrible. The first week following his learning about it, was the worse. He couldn’t handle my sharing a dorm room with Mags. He wanted me to switch schools, dorms, whatever I needed to do to be away from her. He was beyond himself, he was so upset. We were together one minute, and the next we were breaking up.”

***************  
CHERI’S**

Just as Bette felt herself reaching that climatic peak, her shoulder hit the water faucet, causing water to flow down her shoulder, between her breasts, to her abdomen, and finally between her legs where Cheri’s mouth was consuming her. Bette was so far into the moment, she didn’t have the will or ability to disengage enough to consciously turn the water off. It was cold as it made it’s journey, but for Bette, whose body had gotten both hot and sweaty, it was a welcomed relief all the same.

“Mmmm…fuck baby…you…taste…so…good.”

Bette reached down and pulled Cheri’s head into her deeper. She wanted her tongue inside of her as deep as possible. The act so primal, so raw, so contemptible, but oh so arousing as well.

“I…..I’m…al…..most…there…Fuck…I’M…I’m GONNA….CUM!!!!!” Bette expelled from her mouth in a deep, husky, and lust filled tone.

As Bette came hard, she gripped Cheri’s shoulder with one of her hands, her nail piercing her skin as her hips bucked into her. “Ohhhhhhhh YESSSSSSS.”

Cheri held onto the sink and Bette’s waist as she allowed herself to slump forward. The efforts to get Bette there had taken a little more time than she had expected. It wasn’t a surprise though, for after seeing Tina, Bette’s motivation to have unemotional sex, was to detach from the feelings that had filtered back in, upon seeing the young woman she loved and adored. The problem was, she could force herself down that road, but it didn’t mean she would physically be able to get there so easily. 

“Jesus…what…what happened?” Cheri questioned between breaths. “That…that wasn’t you baby. You never took that long before.”

Bette reached over and shut the cold water off, which had now caused her to shiver. She stared at the ceiling, thinking only of Tina.

**********  
TINA’S**

“I’m surprised he didn’t break up with you completely.”

“He did for a bit.”

“Really?” Tina felt she was talking to a stranger. This seemed to be one pretty big skeleton in the closet.

“Yes, he did. During that time, when your Dad and I parted, Mags and I had gotten even closer. It was only a few weeks after your Father and I split up, I found out I was pregnant.”

“So…then…if that was twenty-five years ago…I don’t understand?” Tina wondered where her sibling was. Did her mother and father give the baby up for adoption?

“It’s simple. There was another pregnancy before you.”

Tina rolled her eyes. “No kidding, I got that part.” Tina wasn’t sure how many more surprises she could take. “Where’s this child now?”

“Your father and I talked about it, we wanted to have the baby. You know how religious he can get today? He was just as much then. You have to understand, abortion wasn’t much of an option back then, and I wasn’t really sure what I wanted. When your father pushed for us to have the child, get married and such, it seemed like the right thing to do.”

Tina was becoming more and more intrigued. “So what happened?”

“We had gotten married, about 3 months later. Your grandparents were sure to hurry it along, as they didn’t want to become the big rumor in town. They were NOT happy with me to say the least. I didn’t want to lose their support either, so…well all the way around, getting married and having the baby was the most appropriate thing to do for everyone involved.”

“What happened to the baby?”

“I lost her, in my seventh month.”

Tina remained silent. She had no idea that she had ever had a sister. Regardless of whether that baby was born or not, it was formed at 7 months, and at a point where they had known the sex, she had an identity. She looked at her Mom, whose heart was aching outwardly. “I’m sorry Mom. That had to be really hard.”

“It was. God it was so hard Tina. I was so torn. I found that I had feelings for Mags like you couldn’t imagine. They had gotten so much stronger following the loss of Celeste.”

“Celeste? You had named her?”

“Yes, we did. She is buried in St Stephen’s Cemetery, in the section for the babies. It was a much different time in my life, my college years, than what I had ever planned.”

An awkward silence formed as Catherine reflected back on a time which was filled with both thrilling moments, as well as life changing ones. Tina also found herself reflecting on life in general. The idea of how life would have been different had her mother not married her father. If Celeste had survived. There were different things filling both their minds. The silence was broken as Tina brought more questions forward.

“Did you stay in the dorm after you were married?”

“I had stayed up until we were married. I then commuted to school, as your father and I lived in his parents basement. It was the house they had before the one you were familiar with. It was refinished, and only 15 minutes from the college.”

“What happened with Mags? Did you stay friends?”

“As I said, your father wasn’t pleased in the least when Richie had ratted us out. Any contact I had with Mags was done in a very discrete manner, and it had started to become less and less, especially where I was no longer sharing a dorm with her. Our interaction had actually picked back up once I lost the baby. She was so very much in my life and there for me.”

“Were you still having …um…relations with her?” Tina knew that question was being a bit intrusive, and apologized immediately after she posed it. “I’m sorry Mom, that was being a bit too nosy.”

“It doesn’t matter whether we did or didn’t Tina. The bottom line was, I couldn’t go down that road. I had gotten pregnant, by a man I certainly had feelings for, and thought that I had it “all” with, until I was with Mags, and realized there were some things in my life I had been missing which I found came together when I was with her. The thing was, I had to prepare myself for marrying the father of that child, once we decided that we didn’t want to abort it, and focus on giving the baby a chance, a good chance. When I lost the baby, I sure did feel closer to Mags than your father, for she had been there for me so many times, to comfort me, to ease my sorrow. Your dad had a hard time figuring out how to console me. He had busied himself with other distractions at the time. Anyway, it wasn’t long before your father put his foot down, when I had started spending more and more time with Mags after Celeste’s death. In the end, I didn’t see Mags as much, and then she had moved to New York.”

“You never heard from her again?”

“I did hear from her occasionally, but then it dwindled down more and more as the years passed us by.”

“Did you love her Mom?”

“Very much Tina.”

“Do you wish that you had chosen to be with her?”

Catherine remained silent. Regardless of her feelings, she was with Tina’s father whom she had children with. It had the potential of causing Tina more pain knowing that her mother would have chosen Mags over her father any day, had the circumstances not involved her being pregnant and then married. “It was a confusing time in my life Tina. That’s all I can really say about it.”

Tina didn’t need a confirmation to her question. She could see it in her Mom’s eyes. 

“I want you to know Tina, I did love your father, and I still do. He is a good man, and he has provided for this family, and you and Mark mean the world to him.”

“It makes sense why then, he wants me to go to a different school than Bette. He didn’t like that you were with Mags, and probably feels you wouldn’t have had an affair with her if she wasn’t there with you.”

“Could be. I am sure that it rubs him the wrong way and reminds him of that time, which was equally difficult for him as well.”

The revelations caused Tina’s head to spin. Not only did her mother have a sexual encounter with a woman, but she had cheated on her father doing so. Add to that, her mother had gotten pregnant while in college, and had the baby survived, Tina would have an older sister. It was quite a bit to take in.

Catherine turned to Tina and took hold of her hand. She squeezed it as she started to talk. “Tina, you have experienced some things that you should never have had to.” The tears started, which prompted Tina to respond emotionally as well. “I don’t want you to lose out on what makes you happy, no matter what that is. I know what it is like to sacrifice, and to make decisions that sometimes you look back on and although at the time they felt right, later you can’t help but wonder how much different your life would have been. I’ve been there. I made the best of my life, and the best was when you and Mark were born. You both became my life, my focus. I love your father very much…”

Tina sensed there was more. “But?”

“…it isn’t so much a but. I just realize that I avoided and I discarded a part of me when I walked away from Mags.”

“It’s how I have felt with Bette. I tried so hard to ignore my feelings. I was focusing more and more lately on how great Dad was feeling being in John’s company. It was like having a whole new parent. I liked that Dad was so open, and actually even fun around him. I didn’t realize how much I craved that acceptance of me, my life, my choices, until I had felt what I did. It was so strong Mom…that need for his acceptance…my families acceptance.”

“I know that feeling Tina. It may be fulfilling for the short term, but generally it doesn’t last long term.”

Tina looked down. “I’ve lost her. I went to see her today. She is hanging at Shane’s apartment that she rented for the summer. There was a girl across the hall that had appeared to have made a dinner. She came over to Shane’s just when I was going to talk to Bette and she called her baby. Bette had a hickey on her neck, I’m sure they are together.” Tina felt and appeared defeated.

“Did you speak with her?”

“I started to. I didn’t get very far before I just…I just felt this overwhelming sense of loss and jealousy…like it was too late.”

“It’s not too late. If you let months or years pass, and you don’t let her know how you feel, then you will know what “too late” really means.”

Tina looked at her mother. She was a symbol of a life that had followed a natural course, but one which at one point had detoured down the path of following life instead of her dreams. She didn’t want that for herself, and it appeared, her mom didn’t either.

“What can I possibly do? Dad isn’t letting me go to college at Berkley, not unless he thinks Johnny and I are going steady. Which is the stupidest thing I ever heard of.”

“I was a bit surprised by your father’s change of heart. I guess I hadn’t realized how much he was trying to avoid you having a similar encounter in college as I had.”

“But Mom, he’s crazy. I mean, I am sure that even though you and Dad decided to have that child, wasn’t it completely irresponsible at the same time? I mean, I would think Dad wouldn’t be pushing me towards Johnny BECAUSE of his own past. It wasn’t Mags that changed your life, it was Dad getting you pregnant. By Dad pushing me towards Johnny, it’s like…it’s like he doesn’t give a damn if I were to become pregnant and then have to follow that same path that you….” Before Tina finished her sentence, her words had made things more clear than she had cared to admit.

Tina’s mother hadn’t looked at it that way either. She was too focused on Jerry’s not appreciating the lesbian lifestyle because of Mags and the role she had played in the early years of their relationship, that she had never given it a thought, that perhaps, in a sick and demented way, he had hoped that Tina would possibly make the same mistakes his wife did. This potential revelation caused Catherine to turn red in the face. The mere thought of her husband willing something through his behavior cranked her up. It would make sense, because Jerry would go through any length to have his family fit the “norm” and stay within societies expectations. She wasn’t a woman who spoke harsh words often, if at all, but this time it was different. “Tina, you are going to Berkley, regardless of whether that young boy is there or not.”

Tina looked cautiously at her Mother. The look that had come over her face was fierce, firm, and without reservation. “But…but you won’t be able to convince Dad…he is really just…”

Catherine interrupted her daughter. “You just let me worry about that. I’m a woman of my word. I haven’t had the worse life Tina. No…your father gave me a fine life. However, I can’t…I WON’T sit by and have my daughter be encouraged down a road that isn’t in her best interest. If your father, in his heart is doing this consciously…well…he is going to hear things come out of this Christian woman’s mouth that he has NEVER heard before.”

Tina had never really feared her mother, but now…this woman before her…was NOT the mother she had known all her life.


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER 46

Tina leaned over and hugged her Mom. “Thanks Mom. I feel so much more better.”

Catherine hugged her daughter tight. She didn’t feel better herself, in fact probably much worse having dug those skeleton’s from the closet, but she knew it was worth it if it meant her daughter found some peace. “I love you Tina, no matter who you choose to be with.”

Tears had started to come down Tina’s face, as she embraced that unconditional love from her Mother. “Thank you. That mean’s more to me than you can imagine. I just wish I knew it was going to be like this before I left her.”

Catherine released her embrace and placed her hands on Tina’s shoulders. “Tina….don’t ever let someone you love walk away from you, and don’t you ever walk away from them. Love has so many different levels. Sometimes it can be on the surface, and sometimes it runs very deep.”

“It’s deep with her Mom. It’s deeper than anything I have ever known.”

“I sense that.”

“But it’s too late. I expected so much from her as I tried to figure things out, and finally I just…I just let her walk. Hell I forced her to walk.”

“Then you go and do what you can to reclaim her.”

Tina looked in her Mom’s eyes. She wished it could be that easy, but all she could recall was that mark on Bette’s neck, and Cheri. “I think it could be too late. She has another girlfriend.”

“Do you know for sure?”

“I think so.”

“But you aren’t sure right?”

“No…I’m not sure. I mean, she obviously has been with another woman, based on that lousy suck job on her neck.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean she is with someone.”

Tina pondered what her mother had said. Her thoughts interrupted by the front door opening, and the sounds of Jerry and Mark bantering about the game.

“I wanted to stay.” Mark griped.

“Son, there was no way we were going to make a comeback. Leaving early we avoided a lot of traffic.”

“Next time I want to stay until the end.”

“Okay. Next time we will try to get to a game on a weekend. You have school tomorrow, and I didn’t want to keep you up.”

As Jerry and Mark entered the living room, Tina felt her stomach turn. 

“Hello girls. What did you both do tonight?”

“Talked.” 

“Nothing.”

Tina looked at her Mom, and her Mom at her. They both smiled, before Tina stood from the sofa. “I should get ready for bed.”

“Me too.” Jerry said as he took his baseball hat off and fixed the comb over he was sporting on the top of his head.

“Not yet. We need to talk.” Catherine said in a serious tone.

“Oh?”

“Goodnight Dad,” Tina said before ascending the stairs to her room. Before she closed her bedroom door, she heard her Mother begin her conversation.

“Jerry, I have made a decision…”

Tina closed her door and changed for bed, thinking about whether she would try to IM Bette or not.

***************

Bette was laying on the sofa in Shane’s apartment, thinking of the sex she had with Cheri when she received a text message from Shane.

I wont b home 2 night. Have fun 

Bette flipped the phone shut as she stared at the ceiling in the living room. She hadn’t seen Tina in a few days, but seeing her that evening brought back all the feelings she had been trying hard to forget, to rid her mind of. As she reflected back on the sexual encounter that she and Cheri shared, she couldn’t help but remind herself that Tina was the first one on her mind before she had sex, during sex, and following sex. It wasn’t Cheri that she wanted doing those things to her. Tina was the woman she wanted loving her in ways that no one else should have been. Bette however was one stubborn woman. She was a woman scorned, hurt, and in her mind used. She wasn’t going to offer herself up to Tina again in that romantic or sexual way. Whatever they shared was going to remain in the past. Could they be friends? She wasn’t sure, but where she couldn’t deny the love they shared, she felt the possibility was a real one.

Bette turned towards her laptop which was on top of the makeshift coffee table, and turned it on. She went to a lesbian chat room where she started to chat with some of the women in there. It was short term fulfillment, but she started to engage online, via private messaging with a woman that had caught her attention.

**************

“What are you talking about? I told her she could go to Berkley, this isn’t anything new.” Jerry was repeating himself, not understanding Catherine in the least.

“No, you told Tina she could go to Berkley because she was with Johnny.”

“Was? You mean is.”

“No Jerry, she WAS with Johnny. She isn’t in love with Johnny. It isn’t where her heart is. She has been forcing herself to go down that path because of the pressure you have put on her.”

“Catherine that isn’t true. Didn’t you see them together the other day? They were all lovey dovey.”

Catherine put her hand to her forehead as Jerry sat in the chair opposite her. “Jerry she isn’t into boys. Our daughter is not interested in them in that way. I think it’s time you just accept it.”

Jerry felt his face turn red. “I won’t. She has been making progress in therapy. She finally has started to go with boys and get out of the ridiculous place she had been stuck.”

“You are NOT listening.” Catherine raised her voice. “She is not going to lead the life you want. She is her own person, and whether you like it or not, she is going to make her own decisions in life, without any pressure or influence from you. How can you honestly want your daughter to choose a path that isn’t meant for her? That won’t provide her with the most happiness? Don’t you understand, that as parents we have a responsibility to help our children NOT make the same mistakes we have?”

“So we are a mistake?”

Catherine arched her brow. “Jerry, I’m not saying that, but you know quite well how our relationship started.”

“It didn’t end up so bad now did it?”

“No honey, it didn’t. However, I also know how it feels to be in Tina’s shoes.”

Jerry felt his face go warm. He didn’t approve of any discussion surrounding Maggie, and anytime something even eluded to it, he reacted.

“Tina knows. I told her everything.” Catherine admitted, while Jerry’s expression turned to shock.

“You what!!!” Jerry stood from the chair. “You didn’t. How could you?”

“Jerry calm down.”

“NO. You told her something without consulting me!”

Catherine would normally retreat at her husbands upset, but this time she didn’t. Instead, Catherine stood up and took a few steps forward. She placed both her hands on her hips as she addressed him. “You know what Jerry? I don’t need to consult you on everything. What I told Tina, had more to do with me than it did with you. It was my life back then, and I made decisions which I then lived with. If I can help our daughter with her struggle and the choices she makes now which will be carried with her the rest of her life, then I will. I’m putting my foot down whether you like it or not. Tina is going to Berkley, and if she wants to see Bette Porter, then you better damn well get used to it, because this is my house too, and I won’t have you banning people from her, especially those that happen to be Tina’s partner.”

“LIKE HELL!” Jerry shouted.

“You can shout. You can whine. You can explode. The bottom line is, is that I’m NOT standing by anymore. There’s a new woman in the house Jerry, and you may not like her very much.”

Before Jerry could offer any more resistance, Catherine turned from him and walked into the kitchen.

***************  
Tina was resting on her bed when Mark knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Hey. What’s wrong with Mom and Dad?”

“Who knows.”

“Mom was giving it to Dad pretty good.”

“It’s about time don’t you think?” Tina sat up in bed as Mark sat on the edge. 

“Maybe. He was acting pretty dorky at the game.” Mark laughed. “He was getting all upset at the ump’s calls.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t go down there and kick some dirt at him.”

“Well, the guy below us turned around and told Dad to keep it down.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“What did Dad do?”

“He got into it a little bit, until the cop told both of them to cut it out.”

“Wow. Dad really gets pig headed.”

“He sure does.”

Mark looked around Tina’s room. He then looked back at Tina. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah why?”

“You look like crap.”

“Gee thanks.”

“For what it’s worth, you’re still my sister.”

Tina was confused by Mark’s remark. “What are you talking about?”

“I know about you and Bette being girlfriends.”

Tina thought once she hit the bed, that she was free from anymore revelations. She decided that she wouldn’t jump too quick. “Yeah, we are friends.”

Mark laughed. “Friends that kiss right?”

Tina felt her face turn red. She had no idea that Mark had a clue about her and Bette. “You knew?”

“Not really. I knew when I overheard Dad one night. He was talking to Mom. He wasn’t happy at all.”

Tina wasn’t sure if her young brother understood the meaning behind all of it. “Do you have any questions?”

“Nope. It’s cool. I like Bette.”

“Yeah, well I’m not so sure that we are going to be together. After Dad put his foot down, and stuff, I don’t know if we will be back together.”

“That stinks.”

“It sure does.”

“That other dude was an idiot.” Mark showed his dislike for Johnny on a few occasions that he was in his presence. “Dad thought he was great.”

“Were you jealous?”

“No. I just didn’t like him. He’s a jock.”

Tina laughed. “You’re a jock too.”

“Not like that though. Why did you even start dating him? Why didn’t you just stay with Bette?”

That question was one that would haunt Tina for some time. She looked at her blanket and searched for something to say. “I don’t know. I thought maybe I could make myself fit in, ya know? I thought maybe Dad would accept me more if I could just do what he wanted me to.”

“Well, I hope you dump him soon. I really don’t like him.”

“I’m not really together with him.”

“You dumped him?”

“No, not yet. I haven’t really said anything to him yet.”

“But you’re going to right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Cool.” Mark got up from the bed and went to the door. “I’d much rather play one on one basketball with Bette any day.”

As Mark left the room, Tina felt so lost and alone. She wished she could call Bette. She wished she could feel her arms around her once again. She turned to her laptop on the bed and opened her Yahoo Messenger.


	47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER 47

Bette was lonely. She knew she was filling up the void in her life by using things that weren’t the most healthy or beneficial. The short term rush was an anesthetic so she didn’t need to face the enormous pain in her heart. After spending about 15 minutes engaged with this one particular woman, things began to heat up a bit further.

SexyBo: You are one fine chick

Alpha1: So are you

SexyBo: Have you ever done this before?

Alpha1: Yes

SexyBo: Do you like it?

Alpha1: I have enjoyed myself

SexyBo: I’d like to enjoy you too. ; - )

Alpha1: How would you like to do that?

SexyBo: Any way you prefer baby. * licking lips *

Alpha1: I’m open to suggestions.

SexyBo: I hope you are open…wide open.

Bette took a deep breath. She could feel herself getting quite aroused by the lust filled interaction.

Alpha1: touch me.

SexyBo: I’m straddling your body as you sit in the chair. I pull your top up and over your head, looking at your breasts which are seeking my touch.

Alpha1: yes, very much so.

SexyBo: I am bringing my tongue to your neck…licking you from your throat up to your earlobe, sucking it into my mouth as my hand finds one of your breasts.

Bette brought one hand under her shirt. She located her hard nipple, and began to tweak it between her fingers. With her free hand, she typed slowly.

Alpha1: more…please

SexyBo: do you like that baby?”

Alpha1: yes

SexyBo: I bring my mouth to your tit where I begin to roll my tongue around that hard nipple. Mmmmm baby you are so fucking hot. Do you like that?”

Bette could feel her center aching with the need for a release. She spoke aloud to herself as she typed. “God Tina…that….that feels so good.”

Alpha1: yes…yes

SexyBo: I reach down and unbutton your pants, lowering your zipper before I slide one hand inside.

Bette unbuttoned her pants, and slid one of her hands inside, over her pubic hair, between her lips. She couldn’t wait for the stranger any longer, so she began to touch herself.

SexyBo: I’m sliding my hand further, until I feel how wet you are. Ohhhh god baby you are soooo wet. I begin to touch your clit which is quite swollen…you like that don’t you? You like when my finger grazes over you, teasing you, making you want more.”

Bette spoke aloud once again. “Yes…yes Tee…I love when you touch me, I need you so bad.”

As Bette began moving her fingers in a consistent rhythm, her IM window popped up.

TK: You there?”

Bette pulled her hand from her pants. She looked quickly at the window to see if the built in webcam had turned on. She clicked on the chat window, and seen that SexyBo had been typing away. 

Alpha1: I gotta go. Sorry.

SexyBo: What?”

Alpha1: Sorry.

Bette closed the window and started to type to Tina.

BP: I’m here

TK: hey

BP: hey

TK: do you have a minute?

Bette hesitated a moment before typing.

BP: yes

Bette felt her palms go sweaty. She felt like she had when she first asked Tina out. The anticipation, the butterflies, all of it.

TK: I’m sorry I ran out this afternoon. I guess I …I didn’t expect to see what I saw. However, it’s none of my business. I just want you to know that I’ve missed you.

Bette felt herself fighting her inner demons. She wanted to tell her the truth, that she missed her so much as well. However, there was the other part that remained highly defensive, and didn’t want Tina to know that she cared that much.

Tina watched for Bette to type. The screen didn’t move at all.

TK: I know you must be very angry with me. I have so much I want to say to you, but I would so much rather we did that in person.

BP: I don’t know. This seems more safe for the moment.

Tina felt defeated. She could sense Bette’s pain, her anger, her walls.

TK: I’m not asking for anything more than a friendship. I miss my best friend.

Bette missed her best friend as well. There was a stubborn side of this Alpha girl, and she knew that she had the potential to cut off her nose to spite her face.

BP: I’m very angry. I’m not sure we should be speaking at the moment.

TK: Bette, please don’t close down on me. I’m only asking for your friendship. I fucked up okay? I know I did. I lost so much of myself, trying to find myself. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you. I made some choices, and realize now that they weren’t the best ones for me. For everyone else maybe, but not for me. I know you are hurt, and I know you are angry with me. You have every right to not want me in your life at all. Although it would be hard, I understand that. I just hope you will at least think about being friends. I love you, and that has not changed. I never stopped loving you.

Bette took each word in, and felt that this admission appeared genuine and from the heart. She also knew that Tina was her weakness, and with all the pain she had experienced, she also didn’t want to surrender back to that place with her. A friendship was something she could consider.

BP: I care for you too.

TK: Then please keep a place in your life for me. You are the reason I began this journey. I fell in love with you. I saw what I wanted, and I should have held onto that. Instead, I allowed other influences to direct me elsewhere. I needed to figure so much out about my victimization Bette. I know it’s hard for you to understand where you haven’t experienced such a thing, thank god. I just needed to go down that road. I know I could have handled it so much differently. I don’t know where my head was. I just can’t imagine my life without you in it. You are the first person that comes to mind when something happens, and I want to share it with someone. You’ve been part of my soul, my life. Please let us have at least another chance at being friends.

BP: Do you honestly think we could both handle that? Just a friendship?

Bette didn’t realize it, but she was revealing her feelings. She wouldn’t have included herself by using “we” if she wasn’t also thinking she would want more from Tina.

TK: I’m not sure, but I would rather have you in my life as my friend, than not have you in my life at all.

Bette felt the same way. They had both gone down a rough road. They had both done and said some things that they wish they had not, but in the end, they also knew that all they had experienced together would never be in vain. They couldn’t let it be that way. They loved one another, and love was something that didn’t change overnight, at least not if it was a genuine and honest love. They shared that depth of emotion, and their courage showed when they both agreed to maintain a friendship.

BP: I would like that.

TK: What? To be friends?”

BP: Yes

Tina smiled. As she expressed a big sigh, she felt an enormous relief. Bette had become her confidant of her innermost secrets. She had prompted her to truly feel something outside of the “norm” and had opened her senses and feelings to something she may not have ever experienced. Bette would always be a part of her life, but even more so now that they agreed to move forward with a friendship. She was so excited to update Bette on all that had occurred over the past few weeks.

TK: Good. That’s great. Have I got so much to tell you. So much has happened since we had stopped talking.

BP: Well, don’t wait too long.

Bette’s mind had so easily gone back to Tina. The distractions she had leaned on, Cheri and SexyBo, were so far from her mind at the moment. All she wanted was to catch up with Tina, even if it meant that they stay up all night on the messenger doing so, and that they did.

TK: LOL can you just imagine that?

BP: I would have never thought your mother of all people.

TK: No kidding.

BP: Your dad must be beside himself.

TK: I heard parts of it as I said, and Mom was like a female Rambo. She was putting that ole foot down.

BP: Good for her

TK: It’s about time huh?

BP: You bet. Long overdue.

TK: OMG can you believe it’s light outside?

BP: I know. Are you tired?

TK: A little

BP: Why don’t I let you go.

TK: Do you want to?

Bette felt her heart skip a beat at that question. She kept her feelings in check.

BP: You probably should get a little sleep. What do you have planned today?”

TK: Not too much. I was going to go down to the Sports Shop and see if they need some summer help. I need to get a job.

BP: Is your dad going to buy you a car to use to get to work?

TK: He had said something about it. Who knows now, now that Mom got in his face.

BP: Wow, that still amazes me. Mags must have been one special woman.

TK: I guess she was.

BP: Is she still alive?

TK: You know, I’m not so sure. Mom said only two people alive know about it. I know Dad is one. I don’t know if maybe Richie, the guy that caught them together is the other one. Good question. I’m not sure I’ll have a chance to ask it, because I’m sure that conversation was a one time opportunity.

BP: Maybe. It’s so sad.

TK: What?

BP: That she was in love with her and didn’t make a life with her.

TK: I know. It is. I feel almost guilty.

BP: Why?

TK: I don’t know. I mean, I know I wasn’t the baby that she was pregnant with at the time they married, but I wonder if maybe Mom would have ended up splitting up with Dad before they had me. Maybe I wasn’t even planned either, ya know what I mean?”

BP: Tee, I doubt that. I bet you were planned. If your Mom didn’t want to have another baby, or didn’t want to be married, there were choices.

TK: True. You still always make me feel better.

BP: Good. There isn’t a reason to feel bad.

TK: Gosh, I missed you so much Bette. After talking to you all night, filling you in on my life, you filling me in on yours….I guess I can honestly say that I have missed you even more than I realized. I’m so thankful we are friends.

BP: Me too Tee. Get some sleep.

TK: Okay, you too.

BP: I’ll talk to you later.

Tina smiled. 

TK: Night Bette….or should I say morning? ; - )

BP: LOL. Night Tee. Hope you have sweet dreams.

TK: You too.

BP: Bye

TK: Bye.

Tina and Bette both stopped messaging. The smiles that adorned their faces couldn’t be dismissed even if they wanted it. It had been a difficult time between the both of them, but the one thing that was present during their relationship, and lasted through their messy breakup, was love. It was such a strong emotion which served as the bond between two heart, two loves, two friends. It linked these two women, as it linked others in the past, in ways which sustained almost anything. That is a strong love. It is a real love. It is in fact one you could call, no other love.


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER 48

*********  
LATER**

Shane had forgotten a pair of hair clippers in the apartment. As she went up the stairs, Cheri was coming down them.

“Hey hottie, what are you doing?”

“I forgot something in my apartment,” Shane smiled. “What are you doing?”

“Heading to work.”

“Late again?”

“Yep, you know it.” Cheri winked as she walked past Shane. “You going to be around tonight?”

“I don’t know. If I’m real lucky I won’t be.”

Cheri rolled her eyes. “If you’re around let me know.”

“Sure.”

Shane walked into the apartment, and found Bette sleeping on the sofa. She walked past the laptop which was illuminating this dark area. In the absence of an active screensaver, the IM window which Bette had been speaking to Tina in was still open. Shane couldn’t help but take a look, at least what was visible on the screen. A smile formed as she realized that Bette and Tina appeared to be back on speaking terms. She quietly retrieved the item she had come for, and returned back to the salon.

***********  
TINA’S**

Tina had woken up to a knock on her bedroom door. She unwrapped herself from the pile of blankets that seemed to have captured her, and opened the door.

“Tina, are you okay?” Catherine asked as she walked into Tina’s room. “It’s awful late, and I know you went to bed early.”

“Yes, I’m fine Mom. I was actually on the computer with Bette last night.”

Catherine’s heart melted at the smile that crossed her daughters face. “Good. Did you work things out?”

“Well, at least we are going to try to be friends. It feels so good to have her back in my life Mom. I guess I never realized how much I was really missing her.”

“That can happen when you try to convince yourself of all the reasons you shouldn’t be.”

Tina could sense her mother was again talking from experience. “I’m sure.”

“It’s more work trying to hide what you are really feeling, and trying not to act on what your heart says, than to just acknowledge your feelings.”

“Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Catherine sat at the end of Tina’s bed. Tina joined her. 

“Is she still alive?”

“She?”

“Mags.”

“I’m not sure. We never made contact again.”

“You still think about her don’t you?”

Catherine’s expression appeared fond as she remembered this woman. “Yes, quite often.”

“Mom, you just have to try to find her.”

“Oh Tina, those days are gone. I made my choices, and if she is still alive, I am sure she has as well. It was a very long time ago.”

“But you loved her Mom. I’m not sure that you can just forget about love. It’s always there.”

Catherine knew her daughter was a very wise young lady. “Yes, that’s true.”

“If you can sit here all these years later and still think of her, don’t you think that maybe she is doing the same thing?”

“Maybe so. However, trying to locate her isn’t something that I am prepared to do. What good would it do? As I said, I made my choices. I am settled in my life, and I imagine she is too.”

“I wish that Bette and I could get back to where we were, but I am grateful that we are at least always going to have one another, even if it is as friends.”

“Friends is a great relationship too Tina. It’s one of the things I ended up missing most about Mag. She had known everything there was to know about me, and it took me so long to get over that feeling of wanting to pick up the phone and call her, tell her what was going on in my life.”

“It must have been so hard for you Mom.”

“It was a difficult time.” Catherine stood from the bed. “Anyway, your father is taking care of the paperwork for Berkley.”

Tina’s eyes opened wide. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Holy cow, I can’t believe he agreed.”

“It wasn’t so easy Tina. It’s a pretty sore topic at the moment, so it probably is best if you don’t discuss it too much in his presence.”

“I won’t.”

“He will need some time to let things settle. You know that Bette is welcomed here. However, I think it would be best if we gave him a week to let it all sink in before she comes over, that would probably be helpful.”

“I understand Mom. I know Dad will never understand it.”

“I think he understands it Tina, he just can’t find himself willing to accept it.”

“Image is a lot to some people isn’t it?” Tina asked.

“It can be. It’s rather shallow when it is, and I’m certainly not one to be preaching about it.”

Catherine went to the door and turned back. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really. I’m going to shower and then go down to the Sport Shop to see if they need some summer help.”

“Oh good. Well good luck with that. If you need a ride let me know.”

“Thanks Mom.”

****************  
SHANE’S APT**

Bette woke to her cell phone ringing. She felt for it on the coffee table without opening her eyes.

“Hello”

“Hey baby girl. Where you been?”

“What time is it?”

“It’s 3pm, don’t even tell me you’re sleeping.”

“I was, until now.”

“What are you doing sleeping in so late?”

“I didn’t go to sleep until this morning.”

“Yeah? Who’s the lucky gal?”

“No one. I was online talking to Tina.”

Kit smiled wide. She adored Tina, even after all that Bette had experienced, she still had a great affection for the girl. “No kidding?”

“Nope, I’m not kidding. We were on Yahoo all night, catching up.”

“Go slow girl.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Uh huh.”

Bette cleared her throat. “Kit, It’s not. We agreed that we are just going to be friends and that’s it.”

“Girl the chemistry you and Tina have can’t be denied. You got something pretty damn strong going on there, and I can’t believe you honestly think you can just ignore that magnetism.”

“Well we have to. We tried that route and it didn’t work. We both ended up miserable, and hurt, me more than her, but we both still felt it. It’s good to have her back in my life. I’ve missed sharing some things with her, things that only she knew I was taking on and doing.”

“Whoa…only her? What about me?” Kit asked a bit defensively.

“Sisters don’t know all there is to know.”

“Girl, you holding out on me?”

“Maybe. Trust me, you wouldn’t want all the details.”

Kit chuckled. “Okay, that’s fair I guess. Anyway, Mom had left you a message, apparently you haven’t gotten it yet. It’s about dinner tonight.”

“They want to go tonight?”

“Yeah, Dad will be able to make it.”

“What time?”

“6 pm. You better get your ass going.”

“I’ll be at the house by 5.”

“Okay, I’ll let Mom know. And girl, don’t be making Momma so upset. You know how she gets when she can’t reach you and you don’t return her calls right away.”

“I didn’t hear the phone.”

“I know, just…I don’t know, put it on real loud or something.”

“Okay.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

Bette flipped the phone shut and looked over at her computer. The last part of the IM she had shared with Tina from the night before was visible on the screen. She felt a warm feeling go through her body, at the thought of peace and harmony returning to her life since they both decided to put the past behind them, and move forward as friends. The question remained, would they both be able to abide by those unwritten rules that separated friends from lovers?


	49. Chapter 49

CHAPTER 49

Tina pulled into the Sports Shop just as Dana was coming out.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Dana asked.

Tina left her window rolled down and exited her car. “I’m hoping to get a job. Do you know anyone in there?”

“I know a couple of the clerks, no one in management though.”

“Shit. Well, let’s hope I’ll be able to hit him or her on a good day right?”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good. Bette and I were online the entire night talking. We worked a lot of things out, at least I felt we did.”

“Great! So you are back together?”

“No. We decided that we weren’t going to go back down that road. We are just going to be friends. I think we both need that from each other right now.”

“Well, that’s so much better than having nothing right?”

“You know, until you have nothing do you really understand how really important having just that is.”

“Good for you Tina. I’m so happy you are both at least on better terms now. It makes it so much easier on everyone.”

Tina could see that Dana was only one person, but she certainly was a reflection of the entire gang. “I know that this has been hard on you, and everyone else. I’m sorry for that.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you both are in a better place.”

“Thanks Dane. Hey I have to get in there. Wish me luck huh?”

“Good luck!” Dana smiled. “If you get the job, don’t forget to get me a discount on things.”

“Yeah, sure, get me fired before I even get hired.”

Tina opened the door and went into the shop, hoping that this would be a job that could provide her a few bucks before school started.

***************  
THE PLANET**

“Are you serious?” Alice asked. “Tell me more.”

“There isn’t a lot to tell. She just said that they decided to be friends, and were up all night online.”

Alice smirked. “Uh huh, sure. I wonder how long that “friendship” is going to last?”

“Al, don’t start. Don’t you start poking your head into their stuff.”

Alice started wiping down the counter. “I’m not. I’m just saying. You can’t ignore how hot those two are together.”

“I know, but I really don’t think they are going to go back to that place.”

Alice continued to smirk. “I don’t know Dane…..want to make any bets?”

“No! I’m not betting on the relationship status of my friends.”

Alice rolled her eyes, catching one of the customers signaling they wanted something from her. “Hold that thought, I’ll be right back.”

***************  
RESTAURANT**

Bette’s family had just given the waitress their order, and began to settle into some conversation.

“Bette, I need you to take a look in the attic and figure out what you want to keep. I want to get that place cleaned out soon,” Melvin said before sipping his scotch.

“I just have my painting materials up there.”

“Well, just take another look please.”

“Okay.”

Kit started to chuckle, which caused her mother and father to look over at her. “Sorry…” Kit said, waving with her hand towards her family, a symbol to disregard her.

“What?” Bette questioned. “What’s so funny?”

“I was just wondering if Daddy found any of my old Donny Osmond stuff. I had the biggest crush on him.”

Bette looked surprised. “Oh my god. You are not serious.”

“Don’t you remember?” 

“No, thank god.”

“I remember,” Mom said with a smile on her face. “You had a scrapbook dedicated to him.”

“I sure did, and I still do.”

“You STILL have a scrapbook going?” Bette wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to that question, but it seemed to come out anyway.

“No silly. I think I still have it though, up in the attic.”

“Well, think about putting it somewhere else.” Melvin piped up. “I want to get that place cleaned.”

“Why?” Kit asked. “Are you moving?”

“No we are not moving. I just can’t stand clutter. Bette if there is anything else in the garage that you want to bring to your friends, do so, because I have a truck coming next weekend to take whatever is left over.”

“Okay Dad.”

*********  
TINA’S**

Jerry wasn’t pleased in the least when he sealed the envelope containing the college papers for Berkley. He stood from his study and went to the kitchen, where Catherine was stirring a brownie mix. “It’s been done,” he said as he placed the envelope on the counter. “She’s going to Berkley.”

Catherine was prepared to do whatever she needed, to make sure Tina went to the school she wanted. She was staggered that Jerry complied, with less resistance than she had anticipated. They certainly had their battles over the last 24 hours, but still, she never thought he would submit this soon.

“Thank you,” Catherine said as she wiped her hands on her apron. “You’re doing the right thing Jerry.”

Jerry didn’t say a word before turning back for his study.

****************  
RESTAURANT**

When everyone finished eating, Melvin lit the cigar that would normally follow dinner. As the familiar scent filled the air surrounding their table, he leaned back against his chair and took it from his lips. “Bette, I have some very good news for you.”

Maxine looked a little surprised, for she hadn’t been aware of anything new that needed to be shared with the children. His words had solicited immediate attention from both Kit and Bette.

Melvin continued, “I have been considering something that came to my attention when I was traveling for work last month. Berkley has a Capstone International Summer Program in Art History.”

“International?” Bette questioned as she felt her heart skip a beat. “Where?”

“Italy.”

“Italy! No way!” Bette was beside herself. You’ve got to be kidding me? Seriously? You would send me?”

Maxine was surprised. Melvin hadn’t discussed any of this with her. However, the thought of Bette having such a grand opportunity which Melvin was willing to support, she declined from making an issue of it. Her daughter was pursuing the very dreams she had once held herself.

“Well Bette, I think it would be a fascinating experience for you. I think it would also provide you an advantage over some of your other classmates who will begin as freshmen.”

Bette couldn’t believe her ears. Since art first sought her heart, she had dreamed of Italy and Paris, as she felt they held so much in terms of art history. In her eyes, they were the heartbeat of what art represented. “When? When would I go?”

“Well, I have made a few phone calls, because the paperwork should have been filed two weeks ago. Your old man has a few connections, and if you are up for it, and your Mother can help you get your things together you will need, then I’ll make the final phone call and you would fly out next Friday morning.”

“Next Friday? Wow…I only have a week and a half.”

“That’s right.”

“Damn girl, that’s a better offer than I ever got,” Kit complained.

“Kit, you never showed an interest like this. Had you done so, I would have been pleased to have offered you something similar.”

“I know, but couldn’t I have at least been offered a vacation overseas somewhere? A cruise? Something?”

Melvin smirked before puffing on his cigar. “Perhaps…but that isn’t how life plays out my girl.”

Bette was on cloud nine. The thought of her traveling overseas for a summer program had thrilled her. It wasn’t until a text message came in on her cell phone, did she give a thought to having to leave her friends…the one that was her closest.


	50. Chapter 50

CHAPTER 50

***************  
IN THE CAR**

On the way home, as Melvin filled the car with conversation about Italy, and all the places Bette would need to take in, Bette was far more interested in texting with Tina. 

~ We r on our way home now ~

~ I didn’t know u were still at dinner, sorry ~

~ It’s ok ~

~ I have good news. I’m going 2 Berkley~

Bette stared at the screen of the cell phone. She couldn’t believe it. They would only be about 35 miles apart. As she started to get excited, she stopped herself, realizing that she and Tina were not ‘together’ as a couple. Sure, it would certainly still remain a nice thought that she was close by, but it also would pose a little bit of discomfort that they were no longer together.

~ hey that’s gr8. U must be excited ~

The text messages had slowed once Bette had gotten home and had to sit with her father to go over more paperwork.

****************  
THAT NIGHT**

As soon as Bette had a moment of privacy she dialed Tina.

“Hello”

“Hey what are you doing?”

“I was just watching some repeats of American Idol. How was your dinner?”

“It was good. I have something I need to tell you.”

Tina sat up on the sofa. Although Bette wasn’t in the room with her, she sensed the serious tone in her voice, and the need to move from a more relaxed position as she prepared for what she felt might be some unpleasant news. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Well…it’s good in a way.”

“In a way? You don’t sound convincing.”

“I guess I would like to be able to talk to you in person, if that’s okay.”

‘Um…okay. Are you sure you are okay?”

“Yes. Yes I am. I’ll come by and get you.”

“Okay, I’ll be waiting in the driveway.”

“See you soon.”

“Bye Bette.”

“Bye.”

Tina flipped the phone shut then went to her dresser where she watched her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her hair. She wondered what it was that Bette wanted to discuss. Many fears filled her mind as she primped. She wondered if Bette had second thoughts about being friends. She had thoughts of Cheri possibly restricting Bette from interacting with her. As the thoughts multiplied, she felt herself beginning to feel anxious. She put her hand to her forehead and took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly. “Tina, stop this. The good thing is she wants to talk, and isn’t just shutting down or ignoring you.”

Tina put her lip gloss on, took one last look at herself and headed out to the driveway to await Bette’s arrival.

************  
SHANE’S**

Shane had received Bette’s text message that she would be staying at her parents instead of the apartment, so she took advantage of having the place to herself and her new friend.

“So what is this going to end up being?” Susan asked as she looked at the unfinished mural Bette was working on.

“I’m not sure exactly, but I think it is going to be a desert, a southwestern feel. At least that was what I asked her to shoot for.”

“Her?”

“Bette, my friend. She is an artist.”

Susan felt its potential emanate from the wall as her eyes took it in. “She’s has a talent for sure.”

“Thanks. Too bad she isn’t here, I would have introduced you.”

“You have a cute little pad here Shane.”

“Thanks.”

Susan put her hands through her hair, the hair that Shane’s hands had found earlier in the day when she gave Susan a haircut. “Who’d a thought a haircut would have resulted in you taking me home later?”

Shane smirked as she placed her hands on Susan’s hips. “Who’d a thought?”

Susan leaned in and brushed her lips against Shane’s. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and released it slowly as her teeth grazed the skin lightly. She arched a brow at Shane, before both started a fierce competition to dominate the inferno which started faster than the smoke itself.

**************  
DRIVEWAY**

As Bette pulled up, the headlights shone on Tina who was waiting with many thoughts passing through her mind. She opened the passenger door and took a seat.

“Hey,” Tina said.

“Hi. Were you waiting long?”

”No, not at all.”

”I had to stop to get some fuel.”

“That’s okay. I wasn’t waiting very long.”

“Where should we go?” Bette asked. She had become pretty accustomed to going to Point Rock where they would hang out, but knew that would probably be inappropriate now that they were no longer lover’s but friends.

“Um….I don’t know. The school parking lot isn’t so far away.”

”Well we can go there. That would be okay.”

As they drove, the car turned quiet, which caused Tina’s discomfort to grow. Before they reached the high school, Tina couldn’t help but inquire. “Bette, what’s going on?”

Bette glanced over to look at Tina. “I may not be staying here this summer.”

Tina wasn’t sure just what that meant, but the words themselves had hurt. “Um….what does that mean?”

Bette was silent for the remaining 5 minutes until she parked in back of the school. She placed the car in park, shut the headlights off and turned the key backward so the radio could still play. “My father found a summer program that I can attend.”

“Really? Wow. That’s cool, where is it.”

Bette took a deep breath. “Italy.”

Tina raised both brows, an automatic reaction. “Italy? Fuck…” As soon as she shared her expression, she apologized. “I’m sorry.”

Bette understood Tina well. She knew that no matter how much they could deny the status of their relationship, there was a deep love that existed between them. “I understand. It’s a huge thing.”

Tina tried hard not to cry. She felt her face go warm, and mentally she was already well into the words she was going to say, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. Bette could tell that Tina was struggling. The look on Tina’s face prompted Bette to comprehend the reality of this separation herself. She reached across the car and took hold of her hand. “It’s okay. We don’t need to be lovers to miss one another.”

Whether it was Bette’s touch, or the words themselves, Tina couldn’t hold her feelings back any longer. She lunged forward and grabbed Bette, hugging her tight. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” The words were absorbed by Bette’s shirt, but they were heard clearly. 

“I’ll miss you too,” Bette struggled through a broken up voice. “But we can email, and webcam and stuff.”

As both girls hugged one another tightly, their tears flowed freely. The emotions of all they had shared, and the fact they would now be parting, was too much to hold in. After a few minutes had passed, Tina pulled back, with Bette offering a napkin from her glove box.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This extra chapter tonight is because a certain someone asked nicely... ;)

CHAPTER 51

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Tina blew her nose, speaking at the same time. “When will you be leaving?”

“By the end of the week.” 

Tina pulled the napkin away from her face. “The end of the week?” She was stunned at how fast everything was happening, changing.

“My father is basically jumping through hoops to get this done. It was a late application.”

Tina moved in towards Bette again. She rested her head on Bette’s shoulder, while her hand wrapped around Bette’s waist. “It doesn’t make going to Berkley so much fun now.”

“Tee, we’ll always be connected to each other some way…some how. I just know it. Plus, it is only for the summer, so you going to Berkley is still a good thing right?”

Tina’s heart was heavy. It was different when she was with Johnny, for she still knew Bette was local, nearby.

“How do you know you won’t stay in Italy and get your education there?”

“I don’t think that will happen.”

“You never know.”

“I’m not really interested in staying in Italy.”

“You haven’t even gone there yet. That might change. You might meet a beautiful, spicy Italian girl.”

Bette wasn’t sure what to say. They had agreed to be friends, and there was a slight bit of jealousy present in Tina’s tone.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair,” Tina returned quickly.

“It’s a crazy place to be isn’t it?” Bette inquired. “I mean, two months ago we are all over one another, crazy in love, planning a future. Today we are friends, we are separating at the end of the week for the whole summer, and then who knows what in the Fall.”

Tina looked up at Bette. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s just all so uncertain. Where will you be in a few months? Where will I be?”

“I’ll be here and you’ll be in Italy.” Tina responded, not understanding Bette’s question.

“I don’t mean that, I mean where will we both be in our lives? Where will we both be emotionally? I am sure you’ll probably be dating.”

As soon as Bette had made the statement, she realized that her fears were coming forward, so she tried to recover. “..which is something you would be doing. You’re a beautiful woman, and why wouldn’t you?”

“Bette I’m not even thinking about that. That is the furthest thing from my mind.”

Bette exhaled a deep breath. “I’m just saying.”

“Are you thinking of that?”

“Of what?” Bette questioned.

“Dating? Going to Italy and meeting someone there?”

“No, actually I’m not thinking much about that at all.”

The silence of the night took over, as Tina nestled into Bette’s jersey. She smelled Bette’s scent. Every emotion she ever felt for this woman, began surfacing. She tried to hide it, ignore it, but the strength behind her emotions, and sensitivity level at this time caused her thoughts to move into overdrive.

“I want you.” Tina blurted.. She gave it no thought. She didn’t weigh it. She didn’t try in the least to hide what it was that was going through her head. “I want you so bad.”

Bette placed her hand on the back of Tina’s head and started to caress her hair. She felt the small indiscretion that Tina shared, was a slip. It wasn’t meant to be acted upon.

“I just can’t imagine you not being here for three months. I don’t care what others say Bette. I don’t care if they look at me and think I’m a freak for not being able to make my mind up. I …I just don’t care. All I care about is you. I want to feel “us” again. Baby, I want to spend as much time with you until you leave on Friday, and I want to start right now. I want you to make love to me.”

“Tee…” Bette knew that Tina was her weakness. However, she also knew that engaging with her sexually before they parted was not the wisest of things to do while they were simply friends. It sent mixed messages to them both.

“Please. Bette I fucked up so bad. I was so lost and so scared. I didn’t know what I wanted. I can’t even tell you I am completely sure of just where I will end up being in 6 months or a year, but right now, this minute, before you go to Italy, I want to touch you…” Tina started to slide her hand under Bette’s shirt. “I just want us to feel again, and love each other again.”

Bette couldn’t be with Tina like she was when she was with Cheri. It was very different. There was a casual agreement between she and Cheri, but between she and Tina that never existed. “Tee, we can’t. I want to…god I want to.”

Tina pushed Bette’s jersey up, revealing her abdomen. She brought her head, only inches from the steering wheel where she started to kiss and lick Bette’s stomach. “Mmm…let’s go somewhere, anywhere…I need you.”

Bette arched her head back against the car seat. She loved Tina, and as much as she would deny this love over and over so she could get through those equal moments of pain that she had shared with this blonde girl, she had a hard time not going to that place.

******************  
SHANE’S**

“Jesus sweetie, you are one hot butch you know that?” Susan’s body was intertwined with Shane’s. Their bodies were moist with sweat, following their sexual interlude.

“I never had complaints,” Shane bragged.

“You are so damn sure of yourself,” Susan quipped. “But I like that in a woman.”

As Shane and Susan started to kiss, Shane’s cell phone rang.

“Mmm….baby don’t.” Susan pleaded.

Shane kept the momentum going, and forced the phone to go into voicemail. Her mouth found Susan’s mounds, and descended on each one of them, when the phone rang again.

“Fuck!” Shane said as her focus was now interrupted.

“Jesus, don’t tell me you…”

Before Susan could finish, Shane had flipped the phone open.

“Hello”

“Shane, it’s Bette. I need the place, are you there?”

Shane looked down at Susan. “Uh…”

“I’m with Tina,” Bette continued. “We …well …I just need a place to crash.”

“Tina? Uh…yeah sure. When will you be at the apartment?” Shane asked as she stood up picking Susan’s clothes off the floor and handing them to her. 

“In ten?”

“Okay, good. Well it’s all yours. I have some things I need to be doing tonight anyway.”

“Fantastic.”

“Bette…are you sure about this?” Shane inquired, concerned to see her friend go down this road again if it meant she could be hurt once more. 

“No, to be honest I’m not, but in life one can’t be too sure about much anyway. I’ll talk to you later.”

Shane flipped the phone shut. “Come on, we have to get out of here.”

“Huh? What do you mean, I was just getting warmed up,” Susan said, arching her brow as she looked up at Shane who was dressing.

“Seriously, Bette is coming by to use the apartment. It’s a long story, just get your stuff together. We can go to Point Rock.”

“Fuck that shit, I hate car sex.”

“Sweetheart, I can make you love car sex.”

Shane and Susan giggled as they quickly finished dressing, and left the apartment.

***************  
BETTE’S CAR**

As Bette drove to Shane’s house, Tina playfully played with her hair and gave her small kisses on her neck. 

“I don’t know what I was thinking Bette. I was so crazy to let us go.”

“You weren’t crazy, you just needed space, time.”

“I don’t want space from you. I can’t tell you how hard it’s been to try to think of us as just friends.”

Bette stared ahead. She too felt that, but during Tina’s absence from her life, while she was with Johnny and thereafter, she put a few walls up. If she was honest with herself, truly honest, she could acknowledge the agreement she felt with what Tina had just shared. However, most days she tried to ignore that internal honesty.

The ten minutes to the apartment went by faster than usual, and before she knew it she was out front putting her car in park. Bette turned to Tina, one last time. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Absolutely.”

“Things…they’re different now Tee.”

“I know…I know they are.” Tina looked away from Bette. “You don’t owe me a thing.”

Bette sat in silence, not knowing what to say. Her mind and heart were waging a battle. There was a part of her that wanted to tell Tina that she wanted to go back to seeing her, going steady. She felt they could get through the three months, and then be back in one another’s lives once they started college. The other part of her was keeping the walls up, for the future was too uncertain. Before her thoughts went any further, she felt the blonde’s hand slide under her shirt, then work it’s way between her stomach and her jeans. 

“Just let me show you how much I missed you and how much I love you Bette.”


	52. Chapter 52

CHAPTER 52

“Tina, I just can’t do this. I can’t be casual with you.” Bette’s honesty came forward, while Tina’s hand stopped it’s descent just as her fingertips felt Bette’s hairs. She looked into the young brunette’s eyes. “Tee, I…I love you too much than to just have a romp with you.”

“It wouldn’t be a romp, I love you…I love you will all my heart.”

Bette reached down and gently took hold of Tina’s wrist. She led her from her pants. “Babe, I love you too.”

“Then what are we doing Bette? Why are we denying ourselves this? Let’s get back together. Let’s just go back to where we were two months ago.”

Bette wanted to believe, with every bit of her heart that it was possible to do just that. However, she gave Tina her heart once, completely, and she had never been so devastated by the events that occurred in recent weeks. She wanted to trust that Tina would never hurt her again, never decide 6 months down the road that she wanted to explore things outside of their relationship once more. Bette’s fears in being a couple again, at this time, far outweighed any potential security that “might” occur if she and Tina went back into a relationship.

“It’s…it’s the timing. I’m going to school Tee…in another country. If we really wanted to try again, we don’t need to be smack in the middle of me being away. In fact, we would need to be devoted to rebuilding our relationship so that we could really find one another again. We couldn’t possibly rebuild all that has collapsed between us, in five days.”

Bette was a realist. Usually the only time she fell into something different, was when she was with this blonde beauty. This time though, the pain she felt in her heart from Tina’s absence from her life, allowed her the time to completely reflect on what she could and couldn’t handle. At this time, she couldn’t think of making their relationship anything beyond that of a friendship. She would need to deny a lot of those feelings she felt that went much deeper, in order to keep her heart and herself safe. During the three months, both of them could find moments of solitude to reflect even further on what they wanted out of life. When Bette returned at the end of August, she would be at Stanford and Tina would be at Berkley. With only 35 miles between their schools, they would then be able to decide if they wanted to resume what it was they had in their High School years.

Tina lay her head back on Bette, and accepted that the decisions she made in recent weeks, had a rippling effect on where she had hoped she could take things with Bette now. The reality of those decisions hit her hard as she dampened Bette’s jersey with her tears.

***********  
FRIDAY**

Shane, Dana, Alice and Cheri had pulled into the driveway, running a little later than they had expected. They saw Melvin loading the last of Bette’s things in the car.

“Wow, is she taking her whole wardrobe?” Shane asked.

“One would think,” Melvin replied unhappily. He turned towards the side door where Maxine was just coming out. “Maxine does the girl have her passport?”

“Yes, I have everything right here Melvin.”

“Kit tell your sister we need to get going. Where is she?”

“She is in the back yard with Tina.”

As Bette went back into the house, the girls started to chat among themselves.

“It must be hard on them, saying goodbye.” Alice wondered out loud.

“Well, things might have been different if Tee didn’t decide she needed some time to explore something alternative,” Shane added, while Cheri stood nearby rubbing her back.

Alice glared at Shane. “Don’t be digging that mud up again.”

“It’s true Al. You can’t ignore the fact that if Bette and Tina were still together, they would have probably worked a way to stay together, even if she was going to go to school in the east.”

“No, that’s not true. Tina’s father changed his mind on letting her go to Berkley when he thought she was into dick’s.”

“Ewwwww….come on Al,” Dana puffed her cheeks out and scrunched her brows as if she was going to be sick.

“It’s true Dane.”

“But she also broke up with Johnny, and her mom put her foot down with her dad.”

“Yeah but it was long after Tina had made the decision to date boys.”

“Why do you need to defend her?” Shane bit back.

“Why do you need to bring up their dirt?” Alice returned sharply.

“Okay girls…come on….this isn’t the time to be getting into one another’s face. Bette’s leaving everyone to embark on a wonderful experience. Let’s all just try to be happy for her.” Cheri’s interruption was just what was needed to get the girls away from the path they were on.

**************

“Bette come on, Daddy’s got all your stuff in the car,” Kit yelled from the back door of the house.

“Tell him I’ll be there in a minute,” Bette returned, looking at Tina as they sat on the bench in the gazebo.

“Are you sure I can’t go to the airport with you?” Tina asked.

“I think it would be so much harder Tee.”

Tina reached for Bette and wrapped her arms around her. Her face turned warm as she tried hard not to let her tears show. She had cried a good part of the week leading up to this moment, and the previous night was filled with emotion as she looked through pictures of she and Bette. “God I’m gonna miss you so,” Tina whispered as she embraced Bette tightly.

“Me too.” Bette’s voice cracked. “I’ll email you as soon as I can.”

At this point, Tina knew there wasn’t a thing that was going to change about Bette’s leaving, and so she wanted to leave her with a more positive feeling.

“This is going to be a good opportunity for you Bette,” she said as she broke the embrace, looked into Bette’s eyes, and wiped a stray tear from her own face. “This will be something you’ll never forget.”

“It’s so hard to be excited. Part of me is, and part of me is just going to miss everyone….especially you.”

Tina reached real deep, to offer more encouragement. “I know, and we’ll miss you too, but remember it is only three months. It’s not like you are moving there and will be away from us forever.”

“That’s true.”

“I want you to have the time of your life...eat all the wonderful food that is there…sample as many wine’s as you can. I’m sure if you bat your eyelids at a few of the bartenders or waitresses they’ll sneak you a glass of some of the best grapes ever grown.”

Bette smiled. She appreciated Tina’s attempt to lighten everything.

“BEEEETTTTTE!!!!” 

“Jesus, that damn sister of mine!” Bette turned around abruptly. “Give me a minute!”

“Daddy’s patience is wearing girl!” Kit warned.

Bette looked back at Tina.


	53. Chapter 53

CHAPTER 53

“Go…you don’t want him miserable all the way to the airport.” Tina offered gently.

Bette and Tina stood from the bench and walked away from the gazebo, hand in hand. Before they turned the corner, Bette stopped, which caused Tina to do so as well. There was a moment where both girls didn’t say a single word, yet so much dialogue was occurring between them. It was a unique thing that they shared, that ability to dismiss the audible for the silence, but to find there was so much more that was being shared without that need for their lips to move. As their lives would follow a different course over the next few months, they would begin to not only realize this exceptional chemistry, but would find it irreplaceable over the years that would follow. For now, it was time to say their goodbyes, and it was harder than they had both expected.

“I’m really going to miss you Tee.” Bette said solemnly. 

“I’ll miss you more.” Tina offered in return, the tears building. “I’ll be the first one bugging you with emails.”

“Good.”

“I’ll send one tonight, so you will have it when you first log on.”

“That would be nice.”

Bette’s eyes had now matched Tina’s, the water glossed their pupils and began a journey down their faces. Without saying another word, both of them hugged one another tight, before pulling apart and turning it into one ferocious and heartfelt kiss.

***********

“What the hell is taking that girl so damn long?” Melvin complained as he leaned against the car.

Kit was standing with the girls. “She’s saying goodbye to Tina.” 

Melvin rolled his eyes. “Now you stop that,” Maxine admonished. “This is hard for her I am sure.”

Cheri was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable. She leaned in and whispered into Shane’s ear. “Maybe I should just wait in your car.”

Shane turned towards her and spoke softly. “No…I’m sure Bette will be glad to know you wanted to come and say goodbye.”

“I can go see what’s taking them if you want?” Alice offered, more out of her need to be nosy than concern. This offer came with an elbow from Dana.

Melvin sighed. “That would be nice, because I’m ready to go and get her myself.”

Alice smiled at Dana as she left the group to go around to the back of the house.

**********

“Come on, you best be going or Melvin will make your ride to the airport a rather unpleasant one.”

“I don’t want to go.” Bette admitted. “Maybe….maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.”

“Oh Bette….don’t say that. It’s going to be an opportunity that you may never find again until you are a graduate, and find your own success one day. It’s being offered to you now, at an incredibly young age, and it would be a waste to see you not take advantage of it.”

“I know…but…”

Before Bette could finish, Alice came around the corner. “Bette...” Alice stopped, seeing the emotion before her, she wasn’t sure what to say or do. Alice stared at Bette and Tina, who in turn had faced her as well. “Um…your dad, he’s…”

“I know…I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay. I’ll tell him you…you need a minute.”

“Thanks.”

As Alice left, Tina took Bette’s hand. “Come on, waiting any longer won’t make this any more easier, and will only piss your dad off even more.”

The gang watched as Alice came to the front first, followed by Bette and Tina, who were both wiping their faces rather quickly to avoid having anyone see the tears they had shed. Their efforts failed, for their actions had spoken the truth.

“I’m ready,” Bette said softly. 

Melvin hadn’t remembered a time he had seen his daughter in such an emotional place. He walked over to the passengers side of the car, and leaned in. “Our daughter looks upset Maxine.”

Maxine looked in the side mirror towards the rear of the vehicle, where Bette’s friends started their hugs bidding her farewell.

“Give her some time Melvin.”

“I just don’t want to be late Maxine.” Melvin said in a low voice.

“We won’t be. You have allowed plenty of time before her plane departs.”

“There could be some unexpected things that arise. The security at the airport for international travel is tedious to say the least.”

Maxine arched a brow at Melvin. “Let it be.”

*****

Dana and Alice had hugged Bette already, leaving Shane and Cheri left. Cheri had taken a step forward when she seen Shane remaining still.

“It was short for sure, but it was nice getting to know you Bette. Every time I see that mural on Shane’s wall, I’ll be thinking of the incredible artist behind it.” Cheri and Bette hugged, while Dana and Alice looked over at Tina to gauge her reaction. She was incredibly stoic which had surprised them.

“Thanks Cheri. I hope life treats you well.”

“If it doesn’t, I’ll just roll these sleeves up and get right back into surviving Bette.”

Cheri took a few steps back, to allow Shane her moment with Bette. It was awfully hard for Shane to bid farewell to her friend. She knew it was only for the summer, but there were so many things she thought that she and Bette would share during this time, where she had her own apartment. The realization of those lost moments, and the fact her friend wouldn’t be right around the corner, caused Shane a lot of heartache. She did her best not to show it though, as that was Shane, feeling so much inside, but using that teflon exterior to protect people from seeing it completely.

Bette reached forward and hugged Shane tight. “You be good to yourself my friend.”

“I will…you too.”

“Make sure to keep that apartment hopping.”

Shane and Bette released their embrace.

“You bet I will. The mural…it’s beautiful Bette. I didn’t expect you to get it done with such short notice of your leaving.”

“A promise is a promise. I would never have left that project unfinished.”

“I know you wouldn’t have. I’ll never forget a couple of our late nights this week when you were accomplishing it. I’m glad we had that time together.”

“Me too Shaney. I love you,” Bette said, before hugging Shane again. “I have to go.”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to follow you to the airport?” Alice asked.

“No thank you Al. This is hard enough right here. The trip to the airport will give me some time to let this all sink in. I appreciate it though. Just remember to take care of one another.” In typical Bette fashion, she left her friends with some special instructions.

Bette turned to walk towards her father’s car, where her parents and Kit had already been sitting and waiting for her. Tina looked at Bette with tears falling down her face. Bette walked over to her before getting into the car. She placed one hand on Tina’s shoulder, and the other hand wiped the water from Tina’s cheeks. “Please don’t cry Tee. This isn’t goodbye…it’s see you later.”

Tina nodded, for she couldn’t say a word. She knew if she did, it would result in her letting out an uncontrolled sob, and didn’t want to make it any harder for Bette. She had tried so hard to reach as deep as possible to be strong for Bette, but the emotion that had been building was too strong for her to hold back. She hugged Bette once more and whispered into her ear, “I love you more than you will ever know.” She released her hug, took Bette’s hand and kissed the palm, then brought it to her heart. “You will be here…always.” Bette’s eyebrows twisted, as her tears formed. “Go Bette…you have to go.” Tina pleaded, knowing this was only going to get much worse for both of them.

Tina released Bette’s hand as she walked to her father’s car. The gang shouted a few more goodbyes to their friend, as they watched Melvin pull out of the driveway. Bette turned her head and looked out the rear window where she blew a kiss to them all. She would now begin an experience which was sure to have her returning back to her family and friends, a whole different woman than when she had left.


	54. Chapter 54

CHAPTER 54

************  
ITALY

By the time the bus brought Bette from Catania Airport to the Mediterranean Center for Arts and Sciences’ main office in Syracuse, Sicily, she was exhausted. The flight had been a long one, and the 45 minute ride from the airport to the 17th century palazzo hadn’t been any less draining. This was the first time she had ever been away from her family and friends, and the combination of distance and exhaustion had made her feel a little emotional. She couldn’t wait to get to her room and get settled enough so she could contact her friends.

************

Dana looked at her watch. “Bette would have landed by now. I wonder how the flight was?”

Alice shifted on the sofa, and put her legs up on Dana’s. “I bet she already has some hot Italian girls number.” Alice smiled as Dana nudged her leg. 

“Come on Al. After seeing how Bette and Tina reacted to one another, I doubt that is going to happen immediately.”

“You think she won’t hook up with someone?”

Dana hesitated as she gave that question some thought. “I don’t know. I mean, I doubt she will do it right away. I guess it’s kind of inevitable that she find someone out there to have a good time with.”

“No shit! Have you seen some of the pictures of those chicks out there? Dane, there is no way Porter is going to resist them. Ain’t going to happen.” Alice leaned her head against the sofa pillow.

“They may be a challenge for her.” Dana added as she started to massage Alice’s feet.

“Mmmm…that feels good.” Alice had gotten lost in the moment. “….um….sure they may be a challenge. However, a passionate Italian woman can not only be challenging, but probably hot as hell in bed.”

Dana frowned. “How do you know so much about that?”

“Just saying…that’s all.”

“Uh huh. What Italian women have you known?”

Alice smiled as she appeared to remember some fond times. Dana stopped massaging her feet, bringing Alice back to the present.

************  
Before the bus had departed from the parking lot, there were 6 girls that had been dropped off. As everyone started placing their things close together in one pile next to them, a slender woman with dark brown hair and incredibly gorgeous brown eyes approached the group.

“Hello girls, my name is Lucia and I will be your MCAS international coordinator during your summer program here at the school.”

The girls each offered a quiet hello to her, as she continued to go over the details of the program, the dorm rooms, and everything else that the girls might be curious about. A young Italian boy came over to them and placed their items on the back of the small cart he was driving.

“This is Angelo.” Angelo shyly waved to the girls. “Angelo will take your items to your assigned apartments. Some of you will be in the same apartment building, but the good thing is that because we use shared student apartments, that are privately owned, we keep you girls within a reasonable vicinity of one another anyway. You may find that your roommate has already arrived and is in place already, or they are going to join you later today or this weekend.” Lucia retrieved some business cards from her leather attaché case and handed one to each of the girls. “You shouldn’t have a problem ever getting in touch with me. As you can see, there are a variety of ways to make contact.”

The tired girls remained quiet. They only thing each of them wanted was to get themselves settled, and Lucia was well aware of that.

“Why don’t we head to the apartments and I’ll let each of you know which building you will be in.”

As they walked towards the apartment buildings that were near the school, Lucia offered more information to the girls about the next day’s itinerary, the summer program, and provided many answers the multiple questions that had surfaced from each of them.

*************

“I wish I had more time with Bette,” Cheri admitted as she and Shane shared a pizza.

“I know the feeling. I thought we were going to have the whole summer to hang and stuff. I was really looking forward to it.”

Cheri looked at the mural on the wall, completely captivated and impressed by Bette’s artistic abilities. “It sure is a great opportunity for her though.”

Shane finished swallowing the piece of crust she was chewing. “It is…and that’s what I try to keep reminding myself.”

Cheri took a sip of beer from her bottle. “Do you think I looked completely out of place today?”

Shane shook her head as she swallowed the beer. “Nope.”

“I felt kind of strange with Tina there, that’s all.”

“Well, I felt a little strange with her there too,” Shane admitted.

Cheri hadn’t been privileged to Bette and Tina’s relationship. She knew that Bette had a special place in her heart for the blonde. She also knew that something had happened which had hurt Bette a lot.

“Really?” 

“I did. I don’t know, I just can’t help but feel anger towards her. I have always loved both of them. At the same time, I felt that Tina was really just wanting the best of both worlds.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Tina has one big homophobic father. Tina isn’t out of the closet so to speak, and it seemed everything sat well with her as long as Bette was hidden.”

“From her family?”

“Yeah. They thought she and Bette were just best friends.”

“Wow. That had to be hard on Bette, feeling like she was just in the shadows all the time.”

“It was. We shared a lot about how she felt. The girls at school know that Bette is a lesbian, and they couldn’t understand why she wasn’t “dating” anyone. She took a lot of crap from them in the form of teasing. It wasn’t hostile, and most of it was done just to tweak her, but it was still something she had to deal with ya know?”

“I’m sure it was just a constant reminder that she was that “hidden” woman.”

“Yeah. In time, I guess Bette became somewhat accustomed to going into the closet with Tina. But it wasn’t easy, and it was hard watching her change slowly. I doubt Tina asked her to, but when you love someone you sometimes change part of yourself to fit into their lives.”

“That isn’t always healthy. Later, when you wake up, you might find that you aren’t living the life you want to be.”

“That’s true.”

“So, is that why you were mad at her? Because Bette was changing?”

“No, not really. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t sit so well with me, but I put it aside because I was still Tina’s friend.”

“Was?”

“Well I don’t know right now, it just feels weird, since the whole thing with Johnny and breaking Bette’s heart.”

“Whoa, I’m totally lost.”

“Okay, I’ll start from the beginning……”

*************

The group of six was now down to three. “Cassidy, you and Kelly are actually going to be in this building here. It’s a two bedroom apartment, and a little bit bigger than the others in this building.”.

Cassidy and Kelly smiled at one another. The little interaction they had on the bus and after arriving, was enough for them to be happy about the living arrangement. “Bette, you can come up with us. You will also be in this building. You’re apartment is on the top floor. It’s a little smaller than the others, but the view is outstanding.”

Bette was a little too tired to appreciate any of the views. The only thing that seemed appealing to her at this time, was the bed that likely graced her bedroom.

“Okay.” Lucia scanned the paper that she had been holding since the girls arrived. “Bette you are going to be on the top floor, which is up two flights of stairs here. This is one of my favorite buildings, and that particular apartment is a little treasure.” Bette followed Lucia as she continued to explain the living arrangements.   
“You both share a bathroom which connects from your bedrooms. It’s a studio apartment, but they have really done a fabulous job with making the room feel a little separated.”

“I didn’t expect my own apartment, I just thought it would be dorms.”

“Some places are more like dorms, but the summer program usually uses the apartments. It’s nice because you get to really experience a taste of Italy. In this same building, around the corner is a great little pizza place and also a small little espresso bar.”

“Nice.” Bette felt happy to have a small sense of privacy. She hadn’t expected the housing to be arranged as it was, and it came as a pleasant surprise.

“Rosalie is already here,” Lucia said as she unlocked the door to Bette’s apartment.

“Rosalie?” 

“She’s the young girl who you share the top floor with.” Just as Lucia finished speaking, Rosalie had just come out of her apartment and into the hall where they were standing.

“Ah, speak of the devil.”


	55. Chapter 55

CHAPTER 55

When Bette turned, she was amazed at the incredibly gorgeous girl that was smiling at her. 

Rosalie extended her slender hand to Bette. “Hi.”

“Rosalie, this is your roommate Bette Porter.”

“Nice to meet you,” Bette replied, taking in the long brown hair and striking caramel brown eyes that was before her.

“Bette is from the states, California to be exact.”

“I’ve always wanted to travel there,” Rosalie admitted. “I haven’t wandered too far from home.”

Bette waited for Rosalie to continue.

“Why don’t I let you two get to know one another. You both have the itinerary for tomorrow. We will be having a luncheon to get to know everyone, and do a little sight seeing activities before you start your studies on Monday.”

Bette had almost forgotten to thank Lucia, who had started to turn from them. “Uh….thank you Lucia.”

Lucia turned around and smiled at Bette. “You’re welcome Bette. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bette and Rosalie stood in the hall, both not sure what to say or do. “Um…would you like to …come in?” Bette asked.

“Why don’t I let you get settled. If you feel enough energy, come get me.”

“Okay.” Bette took hold of her suitcases and went inside her apartment. It was a rather plain place, including the walls which were the first to grab her attention. What she could do with the canvases before her, she thought to herself as she dropped her things by the bed. She walked around the room and noticed there were a few folding partitions that helped to make the room seem separated in half, one side the bedroom and one the sitting area. There was a small kitchenette with a table for two that folded up from the wall. The two small benches also folded towards the wall. “Damn, there’s so many things here to save room,” Bette said aloud.

**********  
TINA’S**

Tina’s mother could sense her daughter’s sadness when she returned from saying goodbye to Bette. Dinner had been quiet, and her father wasn’t about to encourage any communication, having been told by his wife why Tina was upset. She went upstairs to her daughters room where she found it closed. She hesitated, not sure if encouraging a discussion was the best thing at this time. As she lifted her fist to the door to knock, Tina opened it.

“Shit!” Tina exclaimed.

“Tina!” 

“Sorry Mom. I didn’t expect you to be right there, you scared the geebers out of me.”

“I’m sorry. I was just going to see if you were okay…if you wanted to maybe talk about things at all?”

“I’m okay.” Tina said as she put her arm through the sleeve of her jacket. “I’m going to meet up with Alice and Dana for a little while.”

“Oh. Well that’s good. It’s better than just hanging around here on a Friday night.”

”Yeah.”

Tina wasn’t extremely motivated to go out, but Dana’s persistence didn’t appear like it was going to stop until she agreed. 

“Well have a good time honey.”

”I will Mom,” Tina yelled back as she made her way down the stairs. “I may stay over Alice’s, I’m not sure yet.”

”As long as her parent’s are okay with it.”

Tina was already out the back door before she heard her mother’s last words.

*********  
ITALY**

Once Bette had gotten settled, she went into the bathroom to put some of her toiletries in the cabinet. The door leading into Rosalie’s bedroom was half open, which revealed a soft illumination that candles were known to make. Bette felt a little embarrassed by the level of curiosity that had grown in seeing that. However, she immediately retreated back to her apartment, closing the bathroom door behind her.

“Fuck,” Bette said softly as she put her hand through her hair. “Nothing is going to happen Porter, nothing. You are here for studies, good food, an amazing culture, and the beauty of…of…” Before Bette could say the word ‘art,’ she heard a knock at her door. “…uh…art.”

Bette took a deep breath before opening the door, for she was more than sure who was on the other side. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find a short balding man with a dark sweater holding a glass of wine. “Oh….pardon me,” he said quickly. “I musta be meestaken, I thoughta my daughter was in thees apartment. Itsa my own building, you woulda think I woulda know these things.”

“Oh…um….it must be the apartment next door.”

“Yesa, Ima sure eet is,” he chuckled. “There’s only two aparta-ments on thees floor.”

The older man made no effort to hide his interest in taking in more of the apartment. As a matter of fact, he took a step inside without even asking. “Everyting’s to youra liking?”

Bette was a little confused as to why this man didn’t know which apartment his own daughter was in, not to mention his obnoxious and rude behavior which he was displaying at the moment by barging in. “Yes, it’s fine.”

The short man turned from the center of the room and extended his hand. “Ima sorry, so rude of me. My name ees Antonio. My wife and I owna da mahket below.”

“I didn’t notice one.”

“Ah, you younga ones. Too a-beezy to stop to smella the roses.”

Bette was feeling slightly uncomfortable with this man who seemed to smell of a pound of provolone cheese. “Um…is there anything else you need?”

“You hava gooda time ya hear?” Antonio moved toward the doorway, where Bette had remained. He took one last look around the room before taking a sip of his wine and descending the stairway. Bette waited until she didn’t see the top of his head anymore, then looked over at Rosalie’s door which was just opening. “Hey, I was just going to come over to see you.” Rosalie had changed into a pair of lounge pants and a wife beater.

“Hey, you just missed your father.”

Rosalie shook her head and put her two hands up in the air in a dramatic fashion. “Madone, he won’t leave me alone.”

”What?”

”I moved in only a few hours ago, of course I was privileged because he owns the building, so I could come in earlier.”

”He was just confused which apartment you were in.”

Rosalie rolled her eyes. “Oh dear, did he tell you that?”

Bette remained confused, for it was clear that Rosalie had more to say. “Yes, he knocked on my door.”

”Why don’t you come over and we sit down and I’ll explain…good?”

Bette found Rosalie’s dialect rather cute. “Okay, if you don’t mind that is.”

”Of course not. Come Come.” Rosalie took hold of Bette’s hand, and started to lead her to her apartment.


	56. Chapter 56

CHAPTER 56

************

The girls had been driving around with no real destination in mind. “What do you want to do tonight?” Dana asked. 

“I don’t know. Why do I feel so lost?” Tina was sad, feeling so disconnected with Bette. “I had waited online for her to log on, and nothing. I hoped that she would be able to just drop me a quick IM.”

”Tee, I’m sure Bette is exhausted. That was a long flight, and she is probably being shown around and stuff. She’ll get in touch with you I’m sure.” Alice looked from Tina to Dana, who had chosen to drive on this night.

“So…where to?” Dana asked again.

“I don’t know, let’s just hang at the Planet for a little bit.”

”No way,” Alice retorted. “I work there all week, the last thing I want to do is spend a Friday night there.”

”Aw come on Al, it’s different when you can sit back and make Jenny wait on you,” Dana chuckled. 

Alice tried to think of somewhere else they could go. “How about…we hang at the Game Place?”

“The arcade? Really?” Dana was surprised, as Alice didn’t often suggest that place. It was known to be rowdy on weekend nights. “It might get a little crazy.”

”I’m sure it will be fine. I still owe you a game of air hockey, remember?”

”Oh yeah, you do. I kicked your butt in that.”

”You think you did.”

Alice turned from the front seat towards the back. ”How about it Tee?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Tina stared out the back window, thinking only of Bette and how much she regretted the way things had ended up between them.

*********  
ITALY**

Bette settled down on the small love seat that Rosalie had managed to squeeze into her apartment. “Nice set up,” Bette acknowledge observing the room layout.

”Would you like something to drink, cold?”

”I’m okay for now.”

”Bette, I am sorry for my father’s intrusion.” Rosalie was sincere, and appeared a bit disturbed by what she had learned so far of her father’s visit to her roommate. “He is an extremely possessive and protective man, and I am ashamed to admit that he knew exactly which apartment was mine.”

”But why would he want to see me then?”

”To make sure you weren’t a boy.”

“A boy?”

”As I said, he is very protective. My father, he is a very influential man here.”

”Well he has a business, I would imagine most that do have some strength in the community.”

Rosalie smiled at Bette’s innocence. “No darling, not in that way. See, he is the capo di tutti capi of the Cosa Nostro.”

“The what?”

Rosalie sat down aside of Bette on the small sofa. “He is…shall we say the boss of the bosses. A crime family.”

Bette heard of these things in movies, in history class, but not right under her nose. “You mean the mafia?!” Bette was louder than she should have been, causing Rosalie to bring her finger to Bette’s lips.

“Shhhh. You musn’t say a thing.”

”Well shit, can I expect the head of a horse in my bed sometime soon?” 

Bette’s nervousness was obviously showing, but the remark was met with a chuckle from Rosalie. “You really are so cute, you know that? No, you don’t need to worry about a horse in your bed.”

”Was anyone killed here, in this apartment building?”

”No, I don’t think so.”

“Rosalie, doesn’t this all scare you? You seem so matter of fact about it all.”

”It use to when I was younger, and didn’t understand it completely. Most people that take the Omertà do so knowing the consequences.”

”The Omertà?”

“It’s the code of silence. It’s punishable by death.”

”Fuck.” Bette put her hand through her hair. “Where the hell did my parents send me? I mean, if they truly didn’t like my being gay, they could have taken less action than this.”

Rosalie now was the one confused. “What? I don’t understand.”

“Does the...the mafia kill lesbians?”

Rosalie allowed her body to slump back against the sofa as she laughed hard. “Oh my…is that what you think is going to happen?”

”Well why wouldn’t it? I mean, I’m sent to this place where your father kills people off.”

“Oh Bette, first of all, I don’t think my father has an opinion either way about uh…homosexuals, especially not lesbians. If a man were to make a pass at him, that may be another story.”

“Well, I just a soon not let him know that I’m a lesbian anyway.”

”Bette, dear, calm down. I promise, my father has bigger fish to fry.”

Bette started to think about a few of the impure thoughts she had earlier, when she saw Rosalie. She hoped Antonio wasn’t a mind reader. 

“You’re dad, he doesn’t have like a sixth sense or something does he?”

”What you mean?”

”Like, can he read people’s minds?”

”Oh. Well sometimes he has a gut feeling about a person.”

”Great.”

”Why?” Rosalie made herself a bit more comfortable, revealing the nicest pedicure Bette had ever seen. The red polish was shiny, and it had been applied evenly to the most intricately shaped toenails she had ever laid eyes on “Bette?”

”Huh?”

Rosalie snapped her fingers in front of Bette. “Here sweetie. Over here.”

”I’m sorry.”

“Why would you be concerned if he could read minds?”

”I don’t know…I just have heard about you people putting an Italian curse on those they don’t like.”

Rosalie smiled, she liked Bette. She was amused by Bette’s nervous misconceptions about the Italian culture. “Oh Bette, you will enjoy Italy. It’s a safe place to be darling.” Rosalie reached behind her neck and unclasped the gold chain she was wearing. “Here, I put on you.”

“Oh gosh no, no I couldn’t. That’s your necklace Rosalie.”

”I know, but you need it more than I,” Rosalie laughed as she reached forward to place it around Bette’s neck. “This is what we call a Corno. It protects against the evil eye.”

”Yes, I’ve heard of that too,” Bette offered, now willingly accepting this token of protection from her new friend. “Does it really work?”

Rosalie straightened the necklace once it was on Bette. “Hun, it will work if you believe it will.”

Bette smiled at Rosalie. “Let’s hope it just works against one small man called Antonio.”

Rosalie and Bette both chuckled as they started to relax and get to know one another better.


	57. Chapter 57

CHAPTER 57

***************

“So, that’s the short version of the story of my life. What about you? Any special person in your life?” Rosalie had divulged quite a bit of her life to Bette, and was not hoping to find a small bit of generosity returned. “A young girl as beautiful as you certainly must be involved.”

Bette smiled at Rosalie’s last words. “I was.”

“Was?”

“We were an item, in school. Not many really knew about us though. Her dad was pretty harsh and…well boldly put, he’s a bigot. We had hid our relationship from most people for about a year or so.”

“That must have been really hard.” Rosalie could easily see the change in Bette’s expression. She outwardly showed just how much this relationship impacted her emotionally. “I’m sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No. No it’s fine, really. I’ve been through a lot over the last few months.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Bette didn’t typically find she was willing to discuss her relationship with Tina, and the roller coaster of emotions she experienced. However, for some reason she felt extremely comfortable with Rosalie. In such a short time, they both seemed to have opened up so quickly, a lot more faster than Bette would have normally found herself doing with someone. Perhaps it was because she was someone who was a completely impartial party for the most part. “I haven’t talked about it much. Tina and have shared the same group of friends. It’s kind of made it awkward for everyone involved.”

“I can understand that. Hopefully no one divided and took sides,” Rosalie said as she pushed her hair back. “That usually happens, and it’s so immature.”

“It can be. I seen that happen a lot in school with couples. It really is pretty elementary school if you ask me.”

”Yeah, it happened to one of my best friends in school. She was dating one of the more popular guys and everyone just hung out a lot. When they split, it divided everyone up and things had gotten nasty.”

“It makes no sense to me why that happens. It makes people seem so superficial when they do that.”

“I know, but sometimes the true part of people come out during those more difficult moments. I just stay out of it, unless I know for sure one of my friends was being intentionally hurt, then...oh I guess you would say the Italian side of me shines bright.” Rosalie smiled at Bette.

“I think most of our friends remained neutral. My friend Shane had a hard time with it, and hasn’t really been able to put the ax to rest. She sees the part of me that few do, so I guess she understood the enormous pain I have felt.”

“Ax?”

Bette realized that just as she might not completely understand some of the slang she used, Rosalie might also find that to be the case as well when it came to the American slang. “I’m sorry, it means like…um…if you have a gripe with someone and you can’t let it go.”

“Oh, okay. We call it a grudge.”

“Well we use the word grudge too. I guess it could be sort of the same.”

“So what happened with you and this girl Tina?”

“Well, we had been dating and everything was going okay.” Bette shared the entire events with Rosalie, from the first time she had set eyes on Tina, to the goodbye’s they shared in her driveway.

*******************  
SHANE’S

“Damn. It seems like Tina has a lot going on,” Cheri said as she sipped her bottle of beer. 

“She does. I probably shouldn’t feel as pissed off as I do, because it really isn’t my business. But I can’t help but get upset when I see how easily Bette bends when it comes to her. God, you just had to know Bette like I have Cheri. You would be able to see that she had gone from this really confident woman, to someone who had become so insecure. Tina’s sudden decision to end their relationship, date boys, and then literally shove this boy Johnny in Bette’s face was really hard for Bette. It slowly ate at her self esteem like cancer.”

“I would imagine so.”

“And it was all done at a time when we were all just graduating from high school. We should have all been happy and really tight.”

“Is Tina still with that boy?”

“No. She dumped him.” Shane took the clicker and started channel surfing.

“Why?”

“Who knows. I guess she realized that he wasn’t all she thought. You can’t make yourself love someone you don’t…ya know?”

“I know that all too well.” 

“You also can’t be someone you aren’t. If Tina really is gay, she can’t force herself to be straight.”

“The question is, is she gay?”

“Who knows. I have no clue. She and Bette were suppose to come here and hook up the other night. It seemed like that was the direction Tina wanted to take things.”

“Really?” Cheri’s tone had a jealous edge to it. “What about Bette?”

Shane stopped at the MTV station. “Um…well at first I thought Bette was all for it. I mean she called to see if she could have the apartment.”

“And?”

“When I spoke to Bette the next day, she and Tina didn’t end up coming here.”

“Why not?”

“She said that she just couldn’t go there with Tina.” Shane didn’t give much thought before blurting out the rest. “She said Tina meant too much to her to just be a casual fuck.”

Cheri cringed at the disclosure. Certainly she was aware that what she and Bette shared was to be free of attachment and emotion. However, to actually hear how superficial their encounters had to have been, hurt a bit. “Wow.”

Shane looked over at Cheri. “Dammit.” It didn’t take long for Shane to realize what she had just revealed. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

”No, no it’s fine. I knew going in, she seemed a bit unattached emotionally.”

Shane took a sip of her beer, watching Cheri’s expression as she started peeling the label off the bottle. “You started forming feelings for her didn’t you?”

***************  
ITALY**


	58. Chapter 58

CHAPTER 58

****************

Rosalie’s eyes stared into Bette’s, searching for the answer she was pretty sure she already had. “It’s okay to say what you feel.”

Bette pulled her face from Rosalie and looked back out the window. The walls had been up, and although she appeared to hit it off with Rosalie, finding comfort in their conversation, she also wasn’t prepared to be honest with herself. 

“We are good friends,” Bette mumbled. “Just friends.”

Rosalie didn’t know Bette that well, and didn’t want to overstep a boundary. “Okay, then friends you are.”

Before either of them could speak another word, Rosalie’s cell phone started to ring. Bette rolled her eyes and chuckled. “The Godfather theme?”

“Oh please, it makes Papa smile, and where he pays the bill it’s best to keep him happy,” Rosalie reasoned as she unclipped the phone from her belt. “Hello? Sì, Sì Mama. Quando? Approvazione, gli dirò. Il papa non ha preso molto lungamente per accennarlo a voi lui?” Rosalie flipped her phone shut. “That was Mama. She would like you to come to dinner tomorrow night.”

“Great.”

“I don’t understand?” Rosalie was confused by Bette’s concern. “Do you not like Italian food?”

“I absolutely love Italian food. However, is it normal for your father to meet me and then be invited to dinner? Isn’t that usually the last supper?”

Rosalie giggled hard. She was quite amused by her American friend who had obvious stereotypical views. “Darling, my father will find you absolutely adorable I am sure. My mother will very likely expect you to bring an appetite, so be prepared.”

“And if I’m not hungry?” Bette cringed. “What do they do to you?”

Rosalie was going to have some fun. “Do you really want to know?”

Bette touched one of her long curls, and began to play nervously with her hair. “I think so.”

“If you don’t eat all of Mama’s food, it is considered a complete insult. Part of the Italian culture is fine wine, and fabulous food to please the palette. If you were to refuse the food the Mama cooks, she would be extremely insulted. If Mama isn’t happy, then usually no one else is either.”

“But…but what do they DO to you?”

“Well, when one of my friends wouldn’t accept the tiramisu that Mama had labored over, she…oh never mind.”

“She what!?” Bette felt her palms begin to sweat. “What happened to her? Did she become part of the soup?”

“Wasn’t that a movie?” Rosalie inquired, trying to reflect back on the movies she had seen.

“Yes, Fried Green Tomatoe’s,” Bette replied. 

“Yeah, well I guess that’s how American’s handle things. We don’t believe in recycling.”

“No you believe in cement though.”

Rosalie chuckled again, releasing a snort. “My goodness, you are so cute.”

“It’s true. Am I right? I’m not completely oblivious to the Mafia Rosalie. I know they like construction sites so they can get rid of people they don’t like.”

“Oh dear, there is so much more to it than that. We have three months to educate you.”

“Fine, what happened to the friend that didn’t want to eat your mother’s tiramisu?”

“I don’t know…never saw her again.” Rosalie smiled as she walked back towards her room. “You don’t have to worry. You have the necklace.”

Bette grabbed for the piece around her neck that she felt was offering her protection. “Right. Did your friend have one of these?”

“Um…” Rosalie pretended to think. “No, actually I don’t think she did. See? You are in good shape. Sleep well my friend.”

“Yeah…right.”

As Rosalie started closing the door behind her, Bette called after her. “Rosalie”

Rosalie looked through the partially opened door. “Yes?”

“Does your father have a key to this apartment?”

“Yes darling, he does. Don’t worry about it.”

Rosalie winked at Bette, then closed the door behind her before heading to her own apartment. 

******************  
TINA’S**

Tina closed the back door to the car. “Thanks girls. I had fun tonight.”

“You seemed so far off Tee,” Alice replied. 

“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t really into the games so much. However, it was nice to be with you two rather than sit in a slump at home.”

“Good. Let us know if you hear from Bette okay?”

“I will Dane. Thanks again.” Tina watched the girls leave her driveway and head towards their own homes. When she entered the house, her mother was reading a book on the sofa while her father had fallen asleep in his recliner.

“Did you have some fun?” 

“It was okay. I’m kind of tired Mom, I’m going to head to bed.”

“Okay honey.” 

Tina walked up the stairs towards her room, hoping that when she checked her computer, she would be greeted with a message from Bette. Her hopes came true when she approached the bright screen and found an IM window open. A smile had instantly formed as she quickly started typing.


	59. Chapter 59

CHAPTER 59

*************

TK: Hey! I was worried

Tina watched the bottom of the message screen, eagerly awaiting Bette’s reply. When she saw the small icon appear indicating that Bette had begun typing, her smile grew even wider.

BP: Hi T. Worried?

Tina rolled her eyes as her fingers quickly typed a response

TK: Of course. I thought you would b all settled in. I hadn’t heard from u

BP: Sorry. I just got myself settled now

TK: How was the flight? How is Italy so far?

BP: LOL so many questions

TK: Of course. I know it was hard 4 you when you left for the airport

Tina hesitated, then continued.

TK: …it was hard 4 me to say goodbye

Bette wasn’t sure what to type. The truth was, she missed Tina already, but also was pretty excited about what the three months would hold.

BP: I understand

Tina felt somewhat perplexed by the response. It appeared a little distant

TK: Is everything ok?

BP: Sure

TK: Are you sure?

BP: Yeah, why?”

TK: Don’t know, u seem a little off

BP: No, I’m just tired, that’s all

TK: So do u like ur dorm?

BP: That was the first surprise I received when I arrived.

TK: What do u mean?

BP: It’s not a dorm.

Tina felt somewhat relieved. She had assumed Bette would be in a single room with another roommate. 

TK: Um, that’s good isn’t it?

BP: It’s 2 studio apartments joined by a bathroom above a market

TK: Really? U share a bathroom with someone? 

BP: Yeah, Rosalie is her name

Tina felt her blue eyes turn green.

TK: Oh

BP: She is 100 percent Italian. She’s a nice girl.

TK: Ok. That’s good. How old is she?”

BP: Our age.

TK: Is she straight?

Tina knew her questions were bold and direct, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.

BP: I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Her father was funny though. He came up to make sure there wasn’t any boys sharing this half of the upstairs.

TK: LOL. Guess she doesn’t get 2 date then, if her dad is that strict

BP: Don’t know, we didn’t talk about that. He is ..

Bette stopped. She was ready to share what Antonio did for a living, but was also fearful that he somehow might know how to get a hold of the things on her computer.

TK: Bette? He is?

BP: Hold on brb

Bette scooted off her bed and went into the bathroom. She knocked on Rosalie’s door. When Rosalie answered, she was wearing what appeared to be a white slip. “Did you bring an appetite?” she asked, which caused Bette to take a deep breath.

“Appetite?” Bette couldn’t believe that Rosalie was being so forward. Her eyes felt involuntary as they dropped, and scanned her cleavage, settling on one nipple that was protruding against the sheer fabric.

“Yes. Remember the conversation we had about you needing to be sure you were hungry? Rosalie snapped her fingers by her head just as Bette responded to her initial question. “Sweetheart up here.”

“Oh that. Yes, I mean no. No I’m not hungry.” Bette was stammering. “I just wanted to ask you if your father is computer savvy at all. Fuck.” Bette put her hand to her forehead, embarrassed that she had gotten caught looking in places she felt she had no right to. “I’m sorry. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.”

Rosalie placed her hand on Bette’s, and pulled her hand from her head. “It’s okay. Do you think you are the first person to have been bagged checking out the ladies?”

Bette shook her head. “I feel like such a …a…”

“Human being?” Rosalie offered. 

“You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be? It…it’s kind of nice in way. I mean to think I could have a girl look at me in such a way that a boy has.”

Bette remained quiet for a moment before bring the conversation back to what had initially brought her to knock on Rosalie’s door.

“So, is your father a computer geek?”

Rosalie laughed. “Oh my goodness, not if his life depended on it. I’ve tried to tell him, ‘Papa, you need to buy a software program to keep track of the market,’ but he doesn’t want to face change. He only likes technology so much.”

“Does he have anyone in his gang that monitors things for him?”

”What do you mean in his gang?”

Bette stepped in a little closer and whispered. “The mafia.”

Rosalie placed a hand on Bette’s shoulder. “Bette you are much too paranoid. No one is monitoring anything.”

Bette looked around. “No bugs?”

“Only the kind that might crawl in every once in a while.”

Bette smiled. “Phew, that’s a huge relief. Okay, I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“It’s perfectly alright. I was only updating my profile on my Myspace page.”

“You have one of those?”

”You bet I do. Do you?”

”I do. I haven’t logged on in a while though. I probably need to pimp it up a bit”

”Well, after dinner tomorrow evening, we can do a little pimping okay?”


	60. Chapter 60

CHAPTER 60

*************

Rosalie closed the door behind her, leaving Bette standing in the middle of the bathroom. She turned the faucet and patted her face with some cold water. She looked at herself in the mirror, and mentally told herself that as beautiful as Rosalie was, she was becoming a terrific friend, and there was a line she needed to draw and remain vigilant of. Her thoughts were interrupted by an audible sound from her computer. “Fuck, I forgot about T!”

Bette rushed back to her computer and began typing.

BP: Sorry

TK: I thought u forgot about me

BP: Silly, of course not

Bette wasn’t doing a thing wrong, but there was a small part of her feeling like she was teetering on a line of deceit.

TK: You never finished your sentence

BP: What sentence?

Tina was feeling a little annoyed. Her thoughts obviously had started to wonder about this Rosalie chick. Bette then stops telling her something about the girls father, which had led Tina to believe that the reason Bette had not been online earlier, was because she and Rosalie were getting acquainted. Surely they had to have been for Bette to know all about this girls father.

TK: Never mind

BP: Why do I get the feeling u are angry?”

Tina wanted to deliver her honesty using every key of the keyboard. However, she reached deep and decided she had no right. She had her chance with Bette, and she let her go.

TK: I’m not angry. I’m tired Bette. I should probably go.

BP: Oh…well, okay. I hope you sleep well.

TK: U too. Maybe I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

BP: Yeah sure. We have to meet up with Lucia, the coordinator for a little while. Then at some point I’m suppose to have dinner with Rosalie’s parents. I’ll drop you an IM when I get back to my place.

Tina couldn’t believe her eyes. “Dinner with her parents?!” She spoke back to the screen. “Fuck…the Italians move fast.”

*******************  
SHANE’S PLACE**

The reality of the insignificance she had in Bette’s life hit Cheri in an unusual way. She wasn’t use to allowing herself those feelings since her own difficult break up years earlier, so it rocked her world a little to understand just how much she missed Bette. She decided that there wasn’t a thing she could do about it, except to accept what was. “So how is work going?” 

Shane brought the bottle of beer to her mouth and took a sip before answering. “It’s okay I guess.”

“Any cute clients?”

Shane smirked. “A few.”

“Any worth taking home yet?”

“Take home, sure. I’ve taken one home.”

Cheri threw her head back against the sofa and chuckled. “God, you work fast.”

“And you don’t?” Shane asked. “I recall you and Bette getting quite cozy within hours of her coming here.”

Cheri’s smile faded. “Yeah…well, everyone makes a mistake I suppose.”

Shane glanced over at Cheri, the desire to avoid any further questions was clearly visible.

***************************  
SATURDAY AFTERNOON **

The group of girls had finished spending the day acclimating themselves to the surrounding area. Lucia had been sure to point out all the important details that were needed for the girls to begin their classes that Monday. Bette now was aware where she had to pick up the shuttle to the school, the schedule, her program, and all the other intricacies she would need to know in order to allow a smooth transition come Monday.

Rosalie was sitting next to her on the bus ride back to the apartment. “The school is beautiful isn’t it?”

“It sure beats anything I’ve seen in California,” Bette admitted. “The classes look like they are going to be really interesting. I honestly can’t wait to start school.”

“I understand your enthusiasm.” Rosalie hesitated. “Papa wasn’t extremely thrilled about my venturing into the field of arts.”

“Why not? I would think there would be a huge calling in this country.” Bette looked out the window. “I mean, just look at some of the architecture with these buildings. It’s so elaborate, detailed, artistic.”

Rosalie smiled at the passion that Bette was demonstrating. “It draws crowds of people, no doubt. However, when it comes to the familia, it’s a different thing. There is an expectation that when a family own and runs a business, that the children will walk in those same steps as their parents, grandparents, and in some cases their great grandparents did.”

Bette understood the expectation. “So your father is expecting you to run the market.”

“Yes. He has had many hopes of that. My brother helps, but I’m not sure he ever had much of a desire to do anything else anyway. For me…” Rosalie took a deep breath in as she looked out the bus window. “…I have feelings for things in life, that he just doesn’t seem to have an appreciation.”

“Like?”

“Well…take for example, at the kitchen table, Mama keeps a bowl of fruit. I have found that I will look at that object, and study the patterns, the shadows, the shapes. I look at the dimensional art that it offers. My brother Tony looks at it, and he says ‘it’s an apple, some grapes, and plums Rosalie. What’s wrong with you?’ He doesn’t see beyond the surface. With me, it’s so much more. I would rather die than run the market. I just couldn’t do it.”

“You won’t be…right?”

“I hope not. He is letting me do this summer program, but I’m not so sure he will give his blessing completely.”

“He might. What area of art fascinates you most?”

“I’m a painter.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“Cool. I’d love to see your work. That is if you don’t mind.”

Rosalie smiled. “Not at all hun. I would love that.”

“Good.”

“OoOo, I almost forgot. Let me call Mama and tell her we will be home at five. She starts to panic if we aren’t there right on time.”

“Wasn’t she expecting us at five anyway?”

“Yes, she was. Now she doesn’t have to worry about anything getting cold.”

“What is she making anyway?”

“A LOT of food. She spoke with me this morning, and was preparing a large antipasto.”

“That’s a big salad right?”

“Yes. A traditional Italian meal starts with something to nibble on. Antipasto translated into English, means before the meal.”

“Nibble? We sometimes have had salads as a meal at home.”

“Oh no-no-no, not with us. That’s just the beginning.”

Bette curled her brows. She made sure she ate light during the day, because certainly she didn’t want to do a thing to insult Rosalie’s mother.


	61. Chapter 61

CHAPTER 61

Previously…

“What is she making anyway?”

“A LOT of food. She spoke with me this morning, and was preparing a large antipasto.” 

“That’s a big salad right?”

“Yes. A traditional Italian meal starts with something to nibble on. Antipasto translated into English, means before the meal.”

“Nibble? We sometimes have had salads as a meal at home.”

“Oh no-no-no, not with us. That’s just the beginning.”

Bette curled her brows. She made sure she ate light during the day, because certainly she didn’t want to do a thing to insult Rosalie’s mother.

*****************  
PLANET**

Shane and Dana were sitting at the counter, eating their sandwiches, while Alice was cleaning off a table in the back of the Planet.

“Has anyone heard from Bette?” Shane asked just before biting into her BLT.

Dana put half of her grilled cheese down and started to pick at the French fries. “Yeah, Tina called Alice today, and I guess she arrived okay and so far so good.”

“Cool. I’ll have to drop her an email.”

“She has her own apartment, but shares a bathroom with another girl.”

“Oh yeah?” Shane wiped her mouth with the napkin. “Do they get along?”

“I guess so. Her name is Rosalie. She’s Italian.”

“Smoking hot too I bet,” Shane threw in as she bit into her sandwich.

“Don’t know. Tina’s a little jealous.”

“Tina needs to get fucked,” Shane said harshly.

Alice had come close enough to hear Shane. “What the hell?” Alice looked from Shane to Dana, then back to Shane. She walked to the other side of the counter, so she would now be facing her. “Look Shane, I wasn’t very happy how it all went down between Bette and Tina either, but it IS between Bette and Tina. At this time, they are friends. They are trying to at least keep something important from what they shared together. Tina isn’t perfect. She made some mistakes. As her friends…” Alice stopped when Shane rolled her eyes. “AS her friends, WE should be as supportive as we can, and definitely not be taking any sides.”

Shane remained quiet. “I’d like another Diet Coke when you have a chance.”

Alice folded her arms and didn’t move. 

Shane stared at her. “What? “

“You know what. You’re not being fair.”

Shane looked down at the counter then back to Alice. “I love Bette. I hated to see how much she went through Alice. Our senior year was suppose to be a really great one. The last memories Bette had were horrible ones, and they were made that way thanks to Tina.”

“Okay, so Tina isn’t perfect. It isn’t fair though to choose a side so strongly like this. I mean, even if you do feel more for Bette and what happened, don’t you think that Tina is feeling something pretty bad too? She isn’t stupid Shane. She knows she let something very important walk out of her life.”

“She didn’t have to Al. She could have stopped it. All she needed to do what let Bette know that she was the only one that completed her. She could have moved heaven and earth to make sure she knew she wasn’t going to give up on them, and that she wanted her.”

Dana decided to add her two cents. “Do you honestly think Bette would have listened Shane? She was pretty hurt by Tina. I’m not so sure if Tina tried to make things right between them, that it would have made any difference.”

“I’m sorry, I think it would have,” Shane replied. “I think if Tina would have shown Bette that she needed her, loved her, wanted more than just a friendship, that Bette would have eventually caved in to it. All it took, was for Bette to feel safe with Tina again. The problem is, is that Tina didn’t want to put the time or energy in to making that happen.”

Alice placed Shane’s plate in the small sink behind the counter. “I don’t think she was given much time to do that. Suddenly out of nowhere, Bette’s off on this summer program.”

“Well then, maybe she should have thought about what she was going to lose when she decided to be so picky and choosy.” Shane returned back.

It was obvious that Shane was still harboring some ill feelings towards Tina. 

“I just want us to try to get along. I was hoping we could have all gone to Milk tonight. Melissa Ferrick is playing there. You didn’t get to see her when she played at the Zone.

“How much is it to get in?” Shane asked.

Alice placed Dana’s plate next to Shane’s. “I think the cover charge is $15.00, but it’s so worth it, wasn’t it Dane?”

“Yep. She puts on a fabulous show.”

**************  
ITALY/b>**

**“Are you sure I look okay?” Bette asked as she exited the bus. “Will we have time to run upstairs and freshen up?”**

**“Oh Bette, you are so beautiful. Don’t you be worrying about my family. They will just love you. As for the time, it’s 5pm sharp, and we best not let Mama wait. If we were at their house, then I would say we could buy a little time. However, where they wanted to eat in their apartment this time, they surely would know we had come home and would be expecting is pronto.”**

**“Their house? You mean they have another place too?”**

**“Certainly. They have a few places. Home is about a mile and half from here. I’ll have to take you there sometime.” Rosalie opened the front door of the market. “Their place here is where they usually spend their time during the week because they work such long hours.”**

**When they entered the market, Antonio was just wrapping up a block of provolone cheese for a customer. “Salvatore, maka sure you calla your mutha.”**

**“Oh madrone, shees a pain in da….”**

**Bette felt her palms begin to sweat. She was already feeling rather intimidated by Antonio.**

**“Aya! Watchit ya mamaluke” Antonio had obviously seen Rosalie enter the market, and interrupted before his friend could drop a nasty word. “Eh Rosalie. Did you hava gooda time?”**

**“Si Papa.”**

**“Mama ees cooking up a storm to feeda the Army. You and your friend go see.”**

**Bette stared at the large butcher knife that was on the counter by the meat.**

**“Bette? Are you coming?” Rosalie had turned to find that Bette wasn’t right behind her.**

**Bette looked from Antonio’s bloodied apron to Rosalie. “Yes…right behind you.” As they went up the back stairs, Antonio’s words became more distant, but replacing it was a another loud voice, that of Rosalie’s Mama.**

**“Anthony, you go washa those hands. Eh! Dida you hear what Mama said?”**

**“I did wash them already Mama.”**

**“You go washa them again!”**

**Even at 20 years of age, Tony knew better than to disregard his mother’s instructions. As he left the kitchen, Rosalie and Bette had just walked in. When Antonietta saw her daughter, she wiped her hands on her apron, then raised them in the air as if she were praising her. “Rosalie! Oh sweeta heart, how wasa your day?”**

**Bette was confused by the dramatic image before her. Rosalie’s mother was filled with so much excitement, that one would never have known they see each other daily.**

**“It was great Mama. It smells wonderful in here.”**

**“Good, you too skeeny, we havta fatten you up.”**

**Rosalie smiled at her short, plump mother. “Mama, this is my friend Bette.”**

**Rosalie placed her hands on each side of her face as she took a look at Bette. “Bella! Come Bella!”**

**“Mama says you are beautiful Bette.”**

**“Thank you,” Bette said just before Antonietta embraced her in a hug, which quickly turned into a bear hug. Bette’s eyes widened as she tried hard to smile and not show she was having a hard time breathing. She tried to gently pull away a few times, but Antonietta’s rambling and strong hold she had on Bette, must have not allowed her to notice Bette’s discomfort.**


	62. Chapter 62

***********

“You too skeeny too. We fix a that. Come come.”

Antonietta took Rosalie’s hand and brought her to the large oversized stove. 

“Wow, this is huge!” Bette couldn’t believe the size of the stove. It had 6 burners and appeared to have 4 ovens. “This is probably as big as some restaurants.”

“Scusa?”

“Bette thinks the stove is like the ones in a restaurant,” Rosalie explained.

“Si. It’s a nice isn’t it?”

“Absolutely,” Bette replied, hoping not to offend the cook. “It smells really nice in here.”

“We gonna have Insalata Caprese, Bruschetta Classica, Pasta Fagioli, Gnocchi di Patate, Braised Lamb Shanks with a leetle Polenta. Papa’s favorite, Animelle di Abbacchio con Funghi, and some Tiramisu to end it.”

Bette didn’t know what to say. First, she had no clue what all that meant, except for the word ‘lamb’ which she had never eaten, and wasn’t so sure she wanted to. Second, she couldn’t fathom all the food for just one extra person. “Um…are you expecting some other company?”

“You’re it,” Rosalie replied as she opened the cover to the soup, then dipped her finger in for a sample.

Antonietta slapped Rosalie’s hand with the tea towel. “Aya! Whatsa matter you? You don’t be doing that! Go washa your hands.”

Tony had just walked back into the kitchen in time to here his mother tell his sister to wash her hands. “Mama’s having a fit with being clean Rosalie. She made me wash mine twice.” 

“Thatsa right, and if a you keep mouthing off, you getta your mouth washed out with soap too!

Rosalie gave her brother a gentle nudge on his arm. “You still making Mama’s blood pressure go up?”

Tony smiled as he looked over at Bette. “Hey, I’m Tony.”

Tony was a handsome boy. He had thick dark hair that was styled perfectly with hair gel, giving it a delicious wet look. His dark thick brows on his olive skin was very distinct, but the one thing that made him beautiful, was the long eyelashes that framed his dark brown eyes.

“Hi, I’m Bette.”

It wasn’t hard to notice that Tony had taken a liking to Bette. “Did you bring an appetite?”

“Antonio Pasquale, stoppa flirting and go get Papa, dinner is a ready.”

Tony smirked, Rosalie rolled her eyes, and Bette looked down at the floor slightly embarrassed. Tony left the kitchen out the same door that Bette and Rosalie had come through moments ago.

“Mama do you need any help?” Rosalie asked.

“No, you and Bella go sit. I’m gonna bring the deeshes to the table.”

“Come Bette.” Rosalie took hold of Bette’s hand and led her around the corner to what ended up being an extravagant dining room. 

“Wow. Look at this room.” Bette’s eyes scanned the incredible accents around the room. “It has such a rich feel to it.”

“Thank you. The flavor of Italy is very present here.”

“I can tell.” When Bette looked to the ceiling, her mouth dropped open. A dramatic ceiling fresco adorned what would normally be a plain white ceiling. “That is stunning. I’ve seen pictures of the Sistine Chapel that was painted by Michelangelo, and I can’t help but feel the same type of Renaissance art in this one here.”

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? I can get lost in the heavenly art above,” Rosalie said as she too scanned the various scenes above.

When Bette took her eyes away, she looked at the rest of the unique architecture and art that defined the family’s culture and interests. She was extremely impressed with how rich the decorations were, considering this was only their apartment. She wondered how beautiful their home must be. Her thoughts were interrupted by Antonietta rushing in with a large platter of what appeared to be a mozzarella and tomato salad. 

“Insalata Caprese. I have another deesh. I’ll be righta back.” 

“That looks really good,” Bette said as she took a seat at the table.

“I better sit next to you before Tony decides to take this spot here. He’s crushing on you ya know. His heart would break if he knew you were gay.”

“I’m not telling,” Bette joked.

“Me either.”

“I’m getting the feeling that maybe I should go and wash my hands before your mother tells me to.”

Rosalie laughed as she grabbed at her abdomen. “Oh goodness, don’t be silly.”

The semi-silent moment was broken by the senior Antonio entering the dining room. “Look at thees! Mozzarella! Tomato’s! Mangia mangia!”

“Papa, did you wash your hands,” Tony asked as his father reached for a piece of mozzarella. 

“Ahh shudduppa you face. You gonna git me in trouble with Mama.”

“AYA!” Atonietta came up behind her husband and slapped the back of his hand as he tried to reach for another piece. “Whatsa matta you!!”

Bette looked down at Antonio’s soiled apron. It was apparent there was a significant amount of dried up blood strewn across the front. Bette wondered who or what the victim was.

“Mama, relax. I’m justa hungry.”

“You hungry? You go washa you hands, and take off that apron.”

Antonio left the room, as his wife continued to bring things to the table. Tony took a seat across the table, where he could get a nice view of his sister’s new friend. When Antonio returned to the table, he had removed his apron and looked like he had combed a few of the stray strands of hair on the top of his head, for they appeared more neat than before.

Once Antonietta sat down, the table only had the two large antipasto’s, but a bowl of marinated olives, fresh fennel in olive oil for dipping, as well as two large loaves of bread, and a bottle of wine and sparkling water. Bette wondered where the rest of the food was that Antonietta had mentioned earlier, but she remained quiet, deciding it was best to question nothing.

“Papa, you say the prayer,” Antonietta instructed.

“I thinka the young boy should Mama.” Antonio tucked his linen napkin into the neckline of his sweater.

“Si, Anthony, you say the prayer of thanks.”

“Thank you Father for this wonderful food that Mama has made. For the soap that we have so we can keep washing our hands for Mama…” with that last comment, Antonietta leaned over and slapped Anthony upside the head.

“You stoppa with the smart talk. You saying a prayer to the Lord.”

“…sorry Mama. Thank you for my family, for everything we have, and for Rosalie’s new friend.”

Bette looked from her folded hands to Tony who then winked at her.

“Amen,” everyone staggered in their response.

Bette leaned over to Rosalie as the large dishes of Mozzarella and Tomato’s were going around. “Where’s the antipasto?”

“That’s it there.”

“That?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. At home, our antipasto is a big salad with cheese and meats and stuff.”

“Whatsa wrong?” Mama asked.

“We were talking about the difference in antipasto in America compared to Italy Mama.”

“You no like?” Antonietta looked at Bette, who in turn looked from her to Antonio, who was now squinting his eyes as he stared back at her. For a moment, Bette froze as the images of Antonio’s soiled apron flashed in front of her, as well as Rosalie’s voice from the night before saying that you just couldn’t insult Mama.


	63. Chapter 63

CHAPTER 63

***********

“Of course I like it…heck I love it!” Bette replied, which turned both Mama and Papa’s concerned expressions into a smile.

“Good! Mangia Mangia!”

The room became loud, as the parents began to talk and banter about life, word on the street, and everything else that came to mind.

“Huh?”

“That means eat. Dig in.” Rosalie said with a smile. 

“Oh, okay.”

Tony was amused by Bette’s lack of understanding, and looked forward to what was probably going to be a rather interesting dinner. Antonietta handed Bette a large loaf of Italian bread. 

“Here, you mangia. It’s nice and a warm.”

Bette took the bread from Antonietta. “Thank you.” As Bette held onto the loaf of bread, her eyes scanned the table for a bread knife. “Um…do you have a bread knife?”

Antonio looked at his wife as Tony chuckled. Bette looked at all three of them and then to Rosalie. 

“Bette, here I will get you a piece.” Rosalie held her hand out, waiting for Bette to hand her the loaf. “We don’t use knives for the bread.”

Bette was confused. At home there was always a knife on the table to cut the bread, if it wasn’t already cut and placed in a bread basket on the table. She arched both of her brows as she watched Rosalie tear the end of the loaf, and hand the piece to her.

“Are you serious?” Bette couldn’t help by verbalize her surprise. “You just…you tear it? My mother would have a fit if I did that.”

“Really? Why?” Rosalie asked as she tore herself a piece, then handed it to her father. 

“She always said that it was sacrilegious. That bread represents the body of Christ and tearing it is just…wrong.” As soon as Bette shared her family’s belief, the room had become quiet. 

Rosalie felt the air thicken with tension. Bette didn’t know what to say, for she knew that she had unintentionally insulted the family and their tradition. 

“I think tearing it is less painful than cutting through it with a knife. Don’t you think?” Tony asked, hoping to add something light.

“Probably right,” Bette responded, just before Antonio had bust into a laughter.

“You smarta son. It’s a true, pulling da bread apart is mucha better than cutting it up. Slicing is alota more painful, right Mama?”

Antonietta joined in, and started to laugh as well. Bette felt relieved that she avoided a significant problem. She followed up with a compliment to Antonietta. “This is very good bread. Do you have any butter?”

The Italian family had burst into an even bigger state of laughter, realizing that Bette hadn’t a clue about dipping. Bette was the only one who looked at each of them, bewildered as to why the question of butter had caused such a hysterical moment.

*********

“I’m going to take a shower,” Dana said as she removed her top. Alice looked over at her, and admired her girlfriend’s toned body. “Do you want to join me?”

Alice grinned. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

“I would hope not.”

Alice dashed from the chair and threw her arms around Dana’s neck, and her legs around her waist. Dana’s hand’s supported Alice’s legs while they kissed. “Mmmmm…..you are so sexy, you know that?”

“It takes one to know one,” Dana giggled.

Alice slid one leg to the floor, then slowly dragged her other down the back of Dana’s. She reached down and started to unbutton Dana’s jeans, while she resumed kissing her passionately.

****************

When Shane arrived at her apartment, she heard moans coming from Cheri’s apartment, and some noises against the front door. She shook her head, as she put the key in the lock of her apartment, thinking to herself that Cheri was a lot like her. Once inside, she took off her outer shirt, leaving just her white t-shirt on with her jeans. She flipped her shoes off and started channel surfing. After a few minutes, she turned the television off and stared at the mural on the wall that Bette had done. She was missing her best friend, and would have loved to call, but knew that she was probably busy with everything in Italy. She hoped that they would catch up soon.

****************

“You musn’t stay in another weekend. You have been in L.A. now for two weeks Helena. Go out and have some fun darling.”

Helena was usually pretty outgoing, at least she was before they moved to the United Stated two weeks earlier. She knew her mother was going to make the move eventually, but when she told her only a few months ago that it would be happening now, Helena hadn’t prepared herself for all the changes she would experience. “I don’t feel like going out mother.”

“If you don’t get out soon, you’ll go barmy.”

Helena rolled her eyes as she scrolled through songs on her iPod. Her mother’s ability to waffle about the lack of her social life never seemed to have an end in the last few days.

“Why don’t you catch that Melissa Ferrick show at MILK tonight?”

“Melissa Ferrick? She’s going to be in town?”

Peggy was reading from the newspaper she picked up on the way home. “Yes, it looks like she goes on around 900pm.”

“Wow. I’ve wanted to see her for quite a long time.”

”Then what are you bloody waiting for? Chop chop…get showered and head over.”

”I feel strange going alone.”

Peggy folded her arms. “Helena, you are a beautiful young girl. You’ll have the boys and girls giving you all the attention you want once you get there.” 

Helena smiled at her mother. “What are you going to do while I’m gone.”

“I don’t know. Purchase a museum or two perhaps.”

Helena chuckled. The relationship she shared with her mother could be as sweet as pie sometimes, and other times they clashed hard. Since her father passed away a few years ago, they had gotten somewhat closer. She often wondered how long it would be until another man found his way into her mother’s life, and just where that would leave her in terms of the families money.


	64. Chapter 64

CHAPTER 64

Previously….

”I feel strange going alone.”

Peggy folded her arms. “Helena, you are a beautiful young girl. You’ll have the boys and girls giving you all the attention you want once you get there.” 

Helena smiled at her mother. “What are you going to do while I’m gone.”

“I don’t know. Purchase a museum or two perhaps.”

Helena chuckled. The relationship she shared with her mother could be as sweet as pie sometimes, and other times they clashed hard. Since her father passed away a few years ago, they had gotten somewhat closer. She often wondered how long it would be until another man found his way into her mother’s life, and just where that would leave her in terms of the families money.

**********  
As each course came from the kitchen, Bette found herself getting more and more stuffed. She couldn’t fathom where Rosalie was finding room for all of it. She was trying hard to show her appreciation for the hard work that Rosalie’s mother had gone through, but as for her tummy, there was little room left.

“You like a?”

Bette nodded. “It was all very tasty, thank you so much.”

Antonio grinned as he used a piece of bruschetta to dip into the pasta fagioli.

“The gnocchi’s were very filling,” Bette said, hoping that someone would agree.

Tony smiled. “Just wait for the main course.”

”Main?”

“Sure, it use to be Mary’s lamb, until Papa killed it.”

Bette’s eyes darted towards Antonio. 

“Silly kid. Don’t you listen to da boy. He’s a story tella.” 

Bette cringed at the thought of having to sample lamb. She had never tried it, and had never had a desire to. What she wasn’t prepared for, was what happened when Atonietta lifted the cover of the platter.

“SHIT!” Bette exclaimed as she stood up quickly from the chair, her eyes staring at the lambs head which was facing her, and the lamb brains which were on the plate aside of the head. She put her hand over her mouth and ran from the table, upstairs to her apartment.

***********  
DANA’S**

Dana slid onto the bed, ready to engage in another encounter with Alice. “Lucky my parents aren’t around this weekend.” 

“Lucky,” Alice whispered as she watched Dana’s body creep slowly up her own. She felt her skin brush against parts of her legs, until she felt Dana’s knee between her legs, and her breasts touching part of her own. “You were great, in the shower.”

“Thank you…you weren’t so bad yourself.”

“I like shower sex with you,” Alice admitted. “It just seems more unplanned, ya know?”

“Well, we don’t seem to have a lot of chances to be together showering. I mean, either my parents are home or yours.”

“I wish mine would let me stay with Shane the rest of the summer at her place.”

”That would be really cool.”

“No kidding. We would have the place whenever we wanted it.”

“Well, not whenever, Shane would be there.”

“Not all the time thought.” Alice played with Dana’s hair. “You’re so beautiful Dane.”

Dana smiled, her pearly whites showing as her blue eyes warmed the space between them. “You are a beautiful girl yourself Alice.” Dana brought her lips to Alice’s and pressed them lightly against them. She felt how smooth they were when they merged, and how silky soft they could be when they flowed in rhythm together.

Alice’s hands slid up and down Dana’s back, as they started to make love. Their bodies were still damp from the shower, therefore the moisture which continued to grow between their legs wasn’t as noticeable as it usually would be. That was, not until Alice desired contact with her center, and spread her legs apart further to thrust herself into Dana’s thigh and knee.

“Fuck ….Dane…rub against me. Fuck me with your knee.”

Dana reached between them, and as her mouth breathed on Alice’s breast, she separated Alice’s lips a little further so her knee had full contact with Alice’s swollen clit. She began to slide her leg up and down, causing Alice to thrust her hips into her matching the pace that was set.

Dana started to breath hard as she became more excited by hearing Alice’s breaths shorten, and her words displaced. “…...Does…….that …feel good?”

“…Uh..huh……yes……god yes,” Alice squeezed out between hard breaths. “…uhhhhhh……yessssss…”

Dana felt her skin begin to sweat as she continued to use her athletic abilities to keep a consistent pace while she steadied herself with her hands on the bed. Alice’s cries of pleasure had increased, and became more loud as her climax rolled into a full blown orgasm.

****************

Shane grabbed the keys to the salon, hoping to get her hands on a spare tube of gel once she learned she didn’t have any in the apartment. When she opened her apartment door, she wasn’t prepared for what she saw. 

“Well, don’t stay away too long next time huh?” Cheri said as Jill exited.

Shane and Jill came face to face. What Jill didn’t know, was that Shane had heard both them not to long ago when she had first gone into her place.

“Shane? What…what are you doing here baby?” Jill asked.

What Cheri didn’t know, was that Jill and Shane had been a couple, or still were. Shane remained stoic as she stared at Jill. 

“Shane, hello?” Jill waved her hand in front of Shane’s face, which prompted Shane to push it away abruptly and continue down the stairs to the salon.

“You now Shane?” Cheri asked.

“Sure…we date every now and again.”

”You what?” Cheri didn’t have a clue. “No…no way. Fuck. Since when?”

”We’ve been on and off again for the last 6 months.” Jill saw the discomfort in Cheri’s eyes. “Look Cheri, Shane and I are not exclusive. We get high, we drink…sometimes we have sex. It’s no big deal.”

Cheri looked past Jill down the stairs. “Well it didn’t seem like no big deal to her.”

Jill brought her face close to Cheri’s. “Do you regret what just happened?”

Cheri looked from Jill, past her again to the stairs. Jill kissed her lips, with little response in return. “I’m just worried about her. I had no clue that you and Shane shared a past, regardless of being exclusive or not.”

”Cheri, I’ve known you longer than I’ve known Shane. I’ve also been with you, before I started even seeing Shane. It’s cool. Just let it go.” Jill leaned in and gave Cheri a quick kiss before she hurried down the stairs.

*************  
ITALY**

Bette felt better after puking up most of the food she had forced herself to eat. What she didn’t feel so good about, was the image that remained in her mind of the dark headed animal that was staring at her. She sat on the floor of the bathroom with a wet washcloth in her hand, ready to wipe her mouth if she got sick again.

“Bette?”

As soon as Bette heard Rosalie, she felt guilty. She couldn’t speak to even answer her. Rosalie made her way around the corner from her side of the bathroom. “There you are. Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry Rosalie. That was pretty rude of me. I just …I saw that…that animal…” Bette shook her head, trying hard to let go of the vision she still had haunting her. 

Rosalie bent down to Bette. “Shhhh… it’s okay. Really, it’s okay. I guess I should have warned you. I’m so use to having lamb and what we consider the delicacies that go with it, that I never gave a thought to how surprising it could be to you.”

It was Rosalie’s warm, approachable, and fun personality that Bette felt attracted to. It wasn’t so much in the sexual way, at least that was what she kept trying to convince herself, as it was just in a way that made their friendship extra special and close to her heart. After all, Rosalie was the first person to truly take Bette under her wing, and there was an unusual level of comfort that had immediately formed between the two girls.


	65. Chapter 65

CHAPTER 65

PREVIOUSLY….

As soon as Bette heard Rosalie, she felt guilty. She couldn’t speak to even answer her. Rosalie made her way around the corner from her side of the bathroom. “There you are. Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry Rosalie. That was pretty rude of me. I just …I saw that….that animal….” Bette shook her head, trying hard to let go of the vision she still had haunting her. 

Rosalie bent down to Bette. “Shhhh… it’s okay. Really, it’s okay. I guess I should have warned you. I’m so use to having lamb and what we consider the delicacies that go with it, that I never gave a thought to how surprising it could be to you.”

It was Rosalie’s warm, approachable, and fun personality that Bette felt attracted to. It wasn’t so much in the sexual way, at least that was what she kept trying to convince herself, as it was just in a way that made their friendship extra special and close to her heart. After all, Rosalie was the first person to truly take Bette under her wing, and there was an unusual level of comfort that had immediately formed between the two girls.

*************  
“Awww Bette it’s fine. Honestly, do not fret about that.”

“You’re family must think I am horrible.”

Rosalie smiled. “No, not at all. They like you Bette. They find your naivety rather cute.”

“Great.”

“Oh come on now, lighten up. Come..” Rosalie stood up and grabbed hold of Bette’s hand. “I want to show you my Myspace page.”

Bette followed Rosalie into her room, then took a seat on the floor beside her. She watched as Rosalie logged onto her page. As soon as the background had come alive, Bette chuckled. “The Soprano’s?” 

“Why not? I loved that show.”

“It was okay.”

“Oh come on, it was great.”

“I didn’t watch very much of it.”

“Well you missed a wonderful thing.” Rosalie laughed at a message that was in her In Box, then went to the search field. “What is your name?”

“I’m Art4Life.”

“OooOoo I like it. Is your page private or public?”

“I think I set it to public.”

“Great…it should load up then any minute. Isn’t this exciting?!” 

Bette loved Rosalie’s light demeanor. It had only been a few days, but so far she hadn’t seen Rosalie very upset about anything.

**************  
MILK

Dana and Alice were sitting at a corner table, when Shane walked in. Alice was the first to spot her. “Shane, over here.”

On her way to the table, Shane stopped to chat with a girl she was familiar with.

“My, can she ever be somewhere where she doesn’t know someone?” Alice asked.

“Nope, she is well known. She’s the MVP.”

Shane made here way over to the table. “Hey.”

“Hey, how’s it going?” Alice asked.

“Good. Hey Dane.”

“Hi Shane.”

Shane looked around, and felt something had changed in the under 21 club. “What’s different here. Something feels different.”

“The tables.” Dana replied. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, they use to be square, now they put these round ones in.”

“Well, it’s not always hip to be square I guess,” Alice joked.

“Is Tina here yet?” Shane asked.

Dana and Alice looked at one another. “Please try to be nice to her,” Alice warned. 

Shane looked at Alice and frowned. “I’m stoned, I’ll be good.”

“Wonderful,” Dana said rolling her eyes.

“Damn Shane, you never include me anymore.” Alice complained.

“Al, I don’t like you doing that shit.” Dana was not pleased when Alice would join Shane in smoking weed. 

“Oh you worry too much.”

*************

Helena pulled into the parking lot, rather displeased with the amount of cars that had already filled the spaces. “Bloody hell, where am I meant to park here?” As she continued to drive around, she noticed one parking spot that was soon to become available.. She put her directional on, and waited for the car which was in the space to depart. 

Tina had made one loop around the lot, and wasn’t able to find a space. Just as she was going to give up and park across the street, she noticed the rear lights of a car that appeared to be backing out of a space. She put her directional on, and waited. The angle she was coming in at, she hadn’t seen that BMW which already had claimed the space.

“Oh come on, why does it take so long to reverse and go?” Helena said to herself. The car backed out, and did so in a way, which prevented Helena from immediately driving into the open space, 

“It’s about time,” Tina muttered as she drove into the space that had now become available.

“What the hell? The bloody gall!” Helena beeped her horn, which prompted Tina to look in her rear view mirror. Helena waited in her car, for the driver to exit. 

Tina grabbed her purse and took one last glimpse in her mirror. It was then she saw that the car which had beeped was still parked behind her. The thought alarmed her. The windows of the BMW were tinted. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, but one thing she knew, she wasn’t going to simply exit the car.

Helena sat in the BMW, fuming at the thought that she wasn’t getting her way. That was something she had a very hard time dealing with, on most every level. “My god, could this person not see I had my name on that space?” Not to mention, this baby is far more deserving of a space than…that.” Helena beeped her horn again, her insistence in addressing what she viewed as inappropriate remained high.

Tina wasn’t going to leave the car. The way the BMW was parked behind her, she couldn’t even pull out of the space if she tried. She was cornered there, and wasn’t feeling very safe in the least. She quickly grabbed her cell phone and called Alice. 

************  
Shane sat at the table waiting for Dana and Alice to return.. Alice had dragged Dana onto the dance floor, for “one” song, which had now turned into three. Thoughts of Jill were filling Shane’s head, and the realization that maybe her feelings were a little stronger for this girl than she had cared to admit. Her thoughts were interrupted by Alice’s cell phone, which lit up and vibrated across the table, alerting there was an incoming call. Shane reached for the phone, and saw that it was Tina. She hesitated to answer it. Perhaps it was her calling to say that she couldn’t make it, because she had decided to work it out with Johnny. She decided to just let it go to the voicemail.

*************  
Tina started to panic a little. She wasn’t familiar with anyone who drove a BMW, and felt very vulnerable being boxed in. She double checked the locks on her door, and redialed Alice again.

Helena was getting more and more impatient waiting for the driver to exit the car, and decided to drive around and find another space. When Tina saw that the car left, she didn’t feel much better, for now she wouldn’t be able to see where that person was at all. She continued to let the phone ring, so that the girls could come outside and meet her.

*************

Shane looked down at Alice’s phone which was once again ringing. She saw it was Tina calling a second time, and decided to answer it. “Hello.”

“Shane?”

“Hey.”

“Thank god.”

Shane could sense some panic in Tina’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

The safety of Shane’s voice made Tina feel a little better, but also a little emotional as well. Her voice started to crack. “I’m outside in the parking lot. Someone had parked behind me beeping their horn. I was afraid to leave the car.”

“What? Where are they now?”

“They left, I think. I don’t want to get out of the car without someone meeting me outside.”

“I’ll meet you. Where about are you parked?”

“In the back. There wasn’t any other spaces. I’m the second row in from the last.”

“Okay, just stay in the car. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you Shane.”

Tina was relieved. She kept watching in her rearview mirror for that car or Shane, hoping of course she would see her friend.


	66. Chapter 66

CHAPTER 66

Previously….

“They left, I think. I don’t want to get out of the car without someone meeting me outside.”

“I’ll meet you. Where about are you parked?”

“In the back. There wasn’t any other spaces. I’m the second row in from the last.”

“Okay, just stay in the car. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you Shane.”

Tina was relieved. She kept watching in her rearview mirror for that car or Shane, hoping of course she would see her friend.

***********

Tina was happy to see a familiar person approaching her car. She unlocked the door and stepped out. “Thanks Shane. I was so freaked out.”

“Who was it?”

“No idea. They were driving a BMW.”

“They?” There was two of them?”

“It was hard to see, the window’s were dark. I don’t know.”

“Well, it doesn’t look like they are around now. Let’s go inside.”

It was a strange thing to have broken the ice, but it was broken nevertheless. “Are you excited to see Melissa Ferrick?” Tina asked.

“Sure. I saw her once before. She’s a trip.”

“I know, she is so sexy when she sings that song Drive. God it just sends goosebumps up and down my body.”

The girls went back into the club and were met with some loud music which the DJ had started to play. 

**************

When Bette’s Myspace page loaded, Rosalie loved it. “My goodness, look at how adorable your page is. I love how abstract the design is. Great layout.”

“Thanks.” Bette had not really been paying too much attention to Rosalie. Instead, her eyes were looking at the pictures of she and the blonde that she had on there. It was amazing how fast life changed. She glanced at the last login date, and realized that she hadn’t logged on in over a month. As she clicked on the “new comments” link, she smiled at the funny comments left by Alice and Shane. “God those girls can be such goofballs.”

“Good friends?”

“Yes, they are good friends. Shane is my best friend actually.”

“Aww, she must really miss you being away.”

Bette was lost in the memories of her friendships. “Yeah, she has been a very loyal and attentive friend. I love her dearly.”

“And the blonde? She’s pretty. Who is she?”

Bette felt her face tighten as she searched hard for the walls that would protect her from feeling. “That’s Tina…my ex.”

“Ahh.” Rosalie asked not a question more. She knew this was the woman that had Bette’s heart, and who was on her mind when she didn’t want to discuss the former relationship she was in. She respected Bette’s boundaries, and didn’t push any further. “I like it Bette. I really like some of the quotes you have on there. Very moving…tender.”

“Thank you. I love poetry, but I think I especially find myself in love with certain quotes. I love something that can say SO much, in so little words.”

“True. Hey we should download the pictures from the tour today and get some up on your page.”

“Okay. That sounds like a good idea.”

**************

Helena had found a cozy corner where she could sit back and enjoy the show. She looked at her watch, and was hoping the time would pass fast so she could enjoy Ferrick and go home. She decided to go over to the counter and get a soda. 

“Tina, you want a diet coke?” Shane asked.

“Sure. Let me get it.” Tina reached into the pocket of her jeans.

“No, it’s fine, I got it.”

“Better yet, I wouldn’t mind getting it,” Helena interrupted.

Tina turned to find the most amazing set of green eyes staring back at her. “What?”

“I said, I’d like to buy you a soda.”

Shane looked at Helena from head to toe. She was definitely a label whore, but a hot one at that. As interesting as this woman may have seemed, she was obviously not interested in Shane, but in the young blonde. Shane looked to Tina, who looked like she was searching for approval or something. Shane just shrugged her shoulders, offering an affirmative nod as she did so. It wasn’t that Tina actually required Shane’s approval, but where things had been so tense between the two, and now taking a more positive direction, she had felt the need to gain some sent of acknowledgement.

“Uh..sure..sure you can buy me a drink.”

“Lovely.” Helena looked at the clerk behind the counter, and requested a diet coke, and a soda water. “Tina, are you a Melissa Ferrick fan too?”

Tina had forgotten that Helena was nearby when Shane said her name. “How do you know my name?”

Helena smiled as she handed over a twenty dollar bill to the young man. “I always am sure to get the name of those I find interesting.”

Tina’s eyes grew wide at the stack of bills that was visible in Helena’s wallet. “I see.” Her mind started to wander to many dark places. Was this beautiful green eyed woman a drug lord? How could someone who appeared to be the same age as her have so much money on like that? 

“Would you like to join me at my table?”

“You’re alone?”

Helena nodded. Tina was quite surprised that such a fine looking young woman would be alone. “I just moved here actually.”

“Really? From?”

“England.”

“Cool. Do you like it here?”

“It’s different.”

“I bet.”

“So tell me about yourself? Are you dating anyone?” Helena was pretty forward, which Tina wasn’t prepared for, coming from a stranger, not to mention that this would be the first time following that brief stint with Johnny, that she would be even close to getting to know someone else, woman at that. It didn’t take an Einstein to figure out Helena’s intentions. She felt herself start to fumble a bit.

“Uh…well…” Tina looked down. It was painful to say that she wasn’t dating someone. Bette was so much at the forefront of her mind, and her heart.”

“Tina, that is a simple answer, no?”

“I guess it should be. No, I’m not seeing someone.”

“Lovely.”

Helena and Tina made their way to the corner table that Helena had claimed. For about 30 minutes, they both conversed about their lives, and in a short time, Tina had started to feel somewhat relaxed in Helena’s company. 

“Tina, would you like to dance?”

“Sure.”

Helena took Tina’s hand and walked to the dance floor. As Madonna’s “Erotica” filled the room.


	67. Chapter 67

CHAPTER 67

Previously…

“Uh…well…” Tina looked down. It was painful to say that she wasn’t dating someone. Bette was so much at the forefront of her mind, and her heart.”

“Tina, that is a simple answer, no?”

“I guess it should be. No, I’m not seeing someone.”

“Lovely.”

Helena and Tina made their way to the corner table that Helena had claimed. For about 30 minutes, they both conversed about their lives, and in a short time, Tina had started to feel somewhat relaxed in Helena’s company. 

“Tina, would you like to dance?”

“Sure.”

Helena took Tina’s hand and walked to the dance floor. As Madonna’s “Erotica” filled the room.

**********

“What was that?” Alice looked at Shane, waiting for an explanation.

“What?”

”What? Um…hello? You and Tina walk in, go to get a drink, and now she is off with that chick. Who is she?”

”I’m not sure, but she’s one fine woman.” Shane sipped her drink, staring at Helena’s ass as she moved her body to the music.

“You don’t know? How does that happen? Some stranger comes in and just takes Tina onto the dance floor?”

“Al, it’s probably good for Tina,” Dana said. “Let it be.”

Alice watched as Helena was displaying some rather sexy and raw moves. “No doubt she’s going to try to get in Tee’s pants,” Alice remarked.

Dana frowned. ”I doubt Tina is ready to just jump into something with someone.”

“Having sex doesn’t always mean you are jumping into a relationship. Sometimes it’s just a one time thing.”

Dana and Alice looked at Shane, never completely understanding how she could live the life she has, free of a committed relationship. “When are you going to try to find ‘the one’ Shane?” Alice asked.

Shane remained quiet. She didn’t want to think of Jill, who in her mind, had started to stir some feelings in her only few have. The truth was, when she felt that, she pulled back a little bit from her, scared of what she had started to feel.

Dana shook her head at Alice, signaling not to push.

************

Tina had felt unusually comfortable with Helena. As the song neared it’s end, she had loosened up enough to allow Helena to slide one leg between hers, and rub her inner thigh up and down her leg as she moved to the music. The seduction on the floor was more than most would have allowed before taking it somewhere else.

Helena slid her hands around Tina’s waist and brought her mouth to Tina’s ear. “You are one fine woman Tina. I’d love to get to know you more.”

Tina felt her face flush. She liked Helena’s confidence and how straight forward she was. In a way, it reminded her of Bette. She felt Helena’s hand slide from her waist to her ass. She offered a gentle squeeze as she continued to whisper a few seductive things into the blonde’s ear.

************

“There. Your page has now officially been pimped.”

Bette looked at the changes that Rosalie had made, and smiled in agreement. “It looks really nice Rosalie. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Bette.” Rosalie had wondered why Bette had made some of the changes she had, one being the blonde had only a few places on her page now, and not nearly as many places as before. However, what she did gather was that this woman had Bette’s heart, and had hurt her pretty badly, intentional or not. She placed her hand over the back of Bette’s. “You’re a really good person Bette. I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but I hope you know that I am always here, and always willing to listen. Heck, sometimes I even have a few good ideas every now and again.”

Bette smiled at Rosalie. This woman caused her to smile more in these few days, than she had over the past several weeks, and it felt nice. “Thank you Rosalie. I appreciate that.” Bette looked at Rosalie’s carmel colored eyes staring at her. For a moment, she thought she could feel Rosalie wishing for her to kiss her. She opened her eyes wide, shaking the thought.

***********

Tina felt her inhibitions rapidly dissolving. Helena was completely in control of how turned on she was feeling. The thought that another woman outside of Bette could make her feel so inflamed with desire made her confused. Outside of Bette, she hadn’t been with any other woman, nor did she even come close to flirting. As analytical as she could get about her sexuality and that which went along with it, she tried to ignore figuring it out…at least for now.

“Helena….” Tina breathed lightly.

“Yes love?”

Tina’s eyes widened. Love? She called me love? She thought to herself. “Um…we need to stop.”

“Stop? Darling, we’re only dancing.”

Tina placed her hands on Helena’s shoulders, her palms on part of her chest. “I know, but…well …”

“You’re getting completely turned on. Am I right?”

Tina looked into the green eyes that were undressing her the entire time they were dancing. “Yes. Very much so.”

”Let’s go then.”

”What?”

”Let’s go,” Helena repeated.

“Where?”

”A suite.”

”A what?” Tina was confused. “You’re kidding. We can’t rent a room.”

“Darling, a suite is far from a room, and why not?”

Tina wasn’t quite sure. “Um…well, I don’t know. I…I guess I have never been to a hotel room,” Tina said shyly.

Helena smiled. “Oh dear, you must be joking.”

Tina shook her head.

“Really? Well then, perhaps I’ll be your first.” Helena was showing her more confident side that often came across cocky. “Do you want me to be your first Tina?”

Tina knew in her heart who her “first” was, and it certainly wasn’t this woman. However, there was such a powerful, seductive attraction that she couldn’t ignore. “Why not…right?” Tina felt herself get a little nervous. 

Helena slid her hand down to the zipper of Tina’s jeans, and pressed her palm against Tina’s pubic bone as she whispered into her ear. “I’m going to make you cum a million times tonight.”

Tina swore her heart skipped a beat. She had been bitten by the Brit….hook, line and sinker.

“Let me get my things and say goodbye to my friends.”

”Did you drive here?” Helena asked

”Yes.”

”If you like, we can just take my car and leave yours here.”

“Okay, that sounds good.” Tina wasn’t sure where she had gotten the courage, drive and urge to go forward like this. It wasn’t normally in her nature to sleep with someone she just met. Even Johnny had to wait a short time. She walked over to Alice, Dana and Shane, who were quite interested in hearing all the details about this intriguing stranger.


	68. Chapter 68

CHAPTER 68

Previously….

Tina swore her heart skipped a beat. She had been bitten by the Brit….hook, line and sinker.

“Let me get my things and say goodbye to my friends.”

”Did you drive here?”

”Yes.”

”If you like, we can just take my car and leave yours here.”

“Okay, that sounds good.” Tina wasn’t sure where she had gotten the courage, drive and urge to go forward like this. It wasn’t normally in her nature to sleep with someone she just met. Even Johnny had to wait a short time. She walked over to Alice, Dana and Shane, who were quite interested in hearing all the details about this intriguing stranger.

**************  
ITALY**  
Bette was laying on her bed and listening to her Janet Jackson list on her iPod while surfing the net. When “All Night” came on, she had stopped surfing and laid back against her pillows, thinking of home, Tina, and the college years ahead. Her thoughts were interrupted, when she opened her eyes to find Rosalie standing there, once again in just a short, sheer nightgown. Bette pulled the earplugs from her ears. “Hi.”

“Please forgive me, I was knocking but you hadn’t answered.” Rosalie was visibly shaken.

“What’s wrong?” Bette asked, concerned at seeing her friend somewhat distressed.

“It was a mouse.”

“A what?”

“A mouse. He ran under the desk. I saw him go into my closet. I can’t sleep in there Bette.”

Bette smiled. “A mouse? Rosalie, you had a dead lamb on the table today, and you’re worried about a mouse?” Bette started to laugh, which caused Rosalie to fold her arms.

“That isn’t very polite, thinking that this is funny.”

“I…..I’m….” Bette couldn’t apologize, for her laughter caused her to start to snort as she grabbed her tummy and curled onto her side, bellowing.

“Bette Porter you could show a little bit of tenderness you know.” Rosalie was firm and fairly stern. Enough, that Bette’s giggles slowed down, and ended in a more serious expression. “I didn’t say anything to you, when you were upset over a dead animal. Dead, mind you! Now this…this rodent that has decided to make his presence in my quarters, happens to be ALIVE thank you, and he isn’t welcomed there.” 

Rosalie’s arms remained folded just below her breasts. Her stoic attitude was gaining even more of Bette’s attention. Bette’s eyes softened. “What do you want me to do? I didn’t invite him over.”

Rosalie arched a brow at Bette. 

“You don’t want to stay in your apartment do you?” Bette asked.

“No I don’t.”

“But Rosalie, he could come under the bathroom doors and come into here too you know.”

“Not if we place some towels there.”

Bette wasn’t quite sure if she could behave, having Rosalie in the same room as her. She was a beautiful young girl, with so many appealing qualities in her personality, that she didn’t think it would be possible. At the same time, she enjoyed the friendship they shared, and didn’t want to risk losing that over a romance. “How do you know there aren’t any mice taking up residency in this apartment here?”

Rosalie stood there a moment and gave that some thought. “Hmm…I guess you’re right. They might be in here too. However, I KNOW at least one is in my apartment. You haven’t seen one here have you?”

Bette looked around the room. “No…not yet.”

“Then out of the two, this remains the safest.”

“I guess. Why can’t we just go and get a block of cheese from downstairs? Your father must have a lot of them in the market. If we put it out in the hall, they will just gather there, get real fat, and then won’t be able to fit under the door.”

Rosalie started to laugh. “Oh dear, if it were that simple, I would run downstairs to his refrigerator right away. However, we could risk attracting even more little Mickey Mouse’s if we were to do that.”

Rosalie and Bette started to laugh at how foolish the idea seemed to be, when putting a little more thought and imagery into it.

***************

“She seems really nice,” Tina said to the girls, hoping to get some approval.

“But Tina, you don’t even really know her. Where exactly is she taking you?” Dana was concerned. The one thing they all tried to do, was know where their friends were going, especially if parents had not been involved.

“She said she was taking me to a suite.”

Shane sipped her drink. “Are you ready to just go off with some woman like this?”

Tina looked at Shane. “What am I meant to do Shane? I fucked things up with Bette royally. Before she left, I made it known that I wanted “us” and wanted to be with her. She was hurt, and I understand that. She wanted just a friendship. What am I suppose to do? Fight her on that?” Tina looked at all three of the girls.

“No, I don’t think you should,” Alice offered. “I mean, come on you guys, we are all in agreement that Tee may have made some mistakes, but ultimately, hurt or not, Bette did make the ultimate decision not to try again.”

“Bette was afraid of getting her heart shattered again,” Shane defended. “I don’t blame her.”

Tina looked over at Shane. “So, am I suppose to not see someone the rest of my life? I understand that I am where I am today, because I made some bad choices. I let my parents dictate what I wanted. I believed things in therapy that maybe I shouldn’t have, or maybe I just decided to hear differently than what was really being said to me...”Alice and Dana looked over at Shane as Tina continued. “….so now I have to live with that error, and know that I won’t be getting back together with the woman that is my soul and my life. The choice now, is to stay single the rest of my life, or try to find someone that might at least come close.”

“I don’t have the answers Tina,” Shane said. “But, if Bette is the love of your life, why not fight for her?”

“I can fight all I want Shane, but if it isn’t what Bette wants, then what good will it do?”

“I have to agree with Tee again. It’s understandable why Bette has given up, put walls up, all of it. But it isn’t like Tina didn’t try.”

“I like this girl.”

“You don’t even know this girl. I think we should at least know where you are going, and what this woman’s name is.” Dana was showing how uncomfortable she was with Tina just leaving with this woman that no one had ever seen before.

“Her name is Helena Peabody. When we pull up to the hotel, I’ll text you with the name. Alice, I need to have you cover. I’m going to tell my parents I’m over your house tonight.”

“Thank god for your good friend Alice eh?” Alice chuckled. “Just don’t forget to text Shane, or one of us to know where you are.”

“Thanks. I will.”

As Tina turned towards the door, the girls started to talk among themselves about this Helena Peabody.

Dana was pretty amazed at Tina’s willingness to leave with this stranger. “She must be some woman for Tina to go off with her like this. It isn’t like her to just sleep with someone.”

“Yeah, unlike Shaney over here,” Alice joked.

Shane was quiet as she started to tear little pieces off the corner of her napkin. 

“Come on Shane, you have to stop taking all this between Bette and Tina so personally. If they are meant to be, they’ll find their way back to one another. Plus, with Bette in Italy, you don’t think she’s getting her groove on out there?”

“I hope so. She needs to be doing something to get over this whole mess,” Shane muttered.

*********  
When Tina exited the club, she noticed the black BMW out front by the curb. She immediately turned back for the front door, prepared to make a bee line back to her friends, when she heard that familiar brit. “Tina, darling where are you ready to book to.”

When Tina turned around, the driver’s window was now down, and there was Helena smiling at her. For a brief moment, Tina appeared perplexed. “No way.” She placed her hand to her forehead and started to laugh. “No fucking way.”

“What is it? You don’t like the color do you?”

Tina smiled as she made her way around to the passengers side. When she got in, she decided to have some fun. “Um, Helena I forgot something in my car. Would you mind if I got it before we left?”

“No, not at all. Where are you parked?”

“I’m parked over on that side, I’ll direct you.”


	69. Chapter 69

CHAPTER 69

Previously….

When Tina exited the club, she noticed the black BMW out front by the curb. She immediately turned back for the front door, prepared to make a bee line back to her friends, when she heard that familiar brit.

“Tina, darling where are you ready to book to”

When Tina turned around, the driver’s window was now down, and there was Helena smiling at her. For a brief moment, Tina appeared perplexed. “No way.” She placed her hand to her forehead and started to laugh. “No fucking way.”

“What is it? You don’t like the color do you?”

Tina smiled as she made her way around to the passengers side. When she got in, she decided to have some fun. “Um, Helena I forgot something in my car. Would you mind if I got it before we left?”

“No, not at all. Where are you parked?”

“I’m parked over on that side, I’ll direct you.”

************

“I had an absolutely horrible time finding a place to park…did you?” Helena inquired.

“Yes, as a matter of fact I did,” Tina replied. “I’m down this row here. Towards the end.”

Helena drove slow until Tina told her to stop. When she did, she watched Tina go to the car that was the subject of discontent earlier when she had arrived. “Bloody hell. You were the barmy one that I was so brassed off with earlier?”

Tina smiled back at Helena before grabbing a roll of breath mints from her console. When she returned to the car, both of them couldn’t help but poke a little fun at one another. “Helena, I’m sorry but I clearly had my name on that spot.”

“Oh dear, you most certainly did not. However, I would have been chuffed to have offered you the space had I known there was such an incredibly beautiful woman behind the wheel.”

Tina felt her face turn warm. It was the first time that someone referred to her as a woman instead of a girl, a chick, a broad. It felt rather nice, and in an odd way she was feeling a lot more mature in Helena’s presence. She certainly was a refined young lady, and definitely rather sure of herself. Tina was learning one thing, the females she seemed to be attracted to, were ones who were decision makers, motivators, confident, and strong. She couldn’t ignore that to a certain degree, Helena had a lot of Bette’s qualities.

**************  
Rosalie had returned to Bette’s room, bringing with her, two pillows and her laptop. “Are you sure you are okay with me staying here?”

“Sure. It’s fine, as long as you don’t get too uncomfortable on the floor.”

Rosalie tilted her head, showing her confusion. “The floor?”

“Yeah, that solid flat piece that supports all this furniture…that’s a floor.”

“Aside from the fact you are being a smart ass, I had no intention of sleeping on the floor.”

“The chair isn’t any better,” Bette informed.

“I wasn’t planning on sleeping on the chair either.”

Bette froze in place on the bed. “Um…where….were you going…”

Rosalie jumped on the bed next to Bette. “Right here!”

“Here! In my bed?!” Bette questioned as she stood up fast, nearly tripping backwards.

“What’s wrong? I don’t bite.” Rosalie joked.

Bette and Rosalie were sitting on the bed only moments earlier looking at her Myspace page. Sitting “on” the bed, and sleeping “in” the bed were two entirely different things, and Bette was already aware that she was struggling somewhat not to let her eyes divert to the more intimate areas of Rosalie’s nightie, let alone be only inches from her body.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea Rosalie. Honestly.”

“Why not? I’m not gay. Nothing is going to happen.”

Bette had many thoughts of what she could say in return, but none of them would do a thing but cause herself additional concern having voiced them, and probably prompt another chuckle from her Italian friend.

“I just…I…well I kind of hoard the whole bed. Yeah, I just like to spread out.”

“So? I can deal.”

“Yeah, but you won’t like it if I kick you.” Nothing seemed to affect her. Bette continued “I also snore a lot…so bad that I’m surprised you didn’t hear me last night from your place.”

Bette watched as Rosalie pulled down the covers and slipped under them. “It’s fine, I’m not really a light sleeper.”

Bette’s brows curled as she watched the beautiful girl take over her bed. “I…Rosalie…”

Rosalie propped herself up on her elbow, facing Bette as she continued to stand away from the bed. “Yes honey?”

Bette stared at her, and when she did, her eyes dropped to her breasts which had now created quite a crevice between them as they pushed together slightly from laying on her side. “Maybe you could at least…change into something different?”

Rosalie looked down at her nightgown. “What’s wrong with this? It’s the most comfortable thing I have for bed…well outside of wearing absolutely nothing.”

“No..noth…nothing?” Bette stammered.

*****************

Tina couldn’t believe her eyes when they arrived at the Hotel Bel-Air. “Christ, this is…Helena, this must be very expensive.”

“It’s nothing. Mother writes it off for business. She knows the people quite well.”

“But I thought you hadn’t been in the area too long?”

”Mother Peabody gets around.” Helena handed her keys over for valet parking. 

Tina took in as much of the outdoors as possible. “Look at the fountain over there, it’s beautiful.”

“Yes darling, it sure is. Wait until you see the courtyard in the back and the gardens…not that we will likely be spending a lot of time there.” Helena walked a few steps ahead of Tina. She held the front door open, and watched as the young blonde admired the décor that greeted her upon entering the hotel.

“It’s stunning isn’t it?”

“Definitely,” Tina said under her breath.

***********  
ITALY

Bette lay on her back facing the ceiling. Her body was just as stiff as it probably appeared to be. She wouldn’t allow herself to look over at Rosalie.

“Why do you not look at me?” Rosalie asked.

“What?”

”You are staring at the ceiling. What is up there that has taken your concentration?” Rosalie looked up at the ceiling, trying to understand what had Bette’s attention.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Of course there must be something. You haven’t looked at me or spoken to me for ten minutes.”

“So.”

Rosalie reached for Bette face and turned her chin to face her. “Are you upset with me?”

Bette stared at Rosalie’s lustrous brown eyes which the moonlight was reflecting. “Oh gosh no. I’m not upset with you at all.”

“Then why the serious expression?”

Bette took a deep breath, once again trying to ignore Rosalie’s incredible body as she prepared to explain. “Rosalie, it…it’s that…even though YOU may not be a lesbian, I am…and because I am…” Bette looked away from Rosalie and at the blanket. “…well it’s….it’s hard to ignore the fact you are a very beautiful girl.”

Rosalie smiled. “Thank you. So what is the problem?”

Bette rolled her eyes, she couldn’t believe she was going to have to spell it out. “Do you not realize what that means? It means…well…damn it, it means I am having a really hard time behaving right now!”

Rosalie smiled and arched a brow at Bette. She noticed it when she looked from the blanket to Rosalie’s face to read her expression. What came next she didn’t expect at all.


	70. Chapter 70

CHAPTER 70

Rosalie’s eyes had taken on a completely different look as she started leaning in towards Bette. Her voice was tender and soft; her words brief. “I think I may be having a hard time too.”

Before Bette had an opportunity to understand the meaning of those words, they were defined the moment Rosalie’s lips touched hers. The soft skin upon her own, caused Bette to shudder first, then pull back. “I’m sorry,” Bette said.

“No…no it was my fault,” Rosalie declared. “I’m the one who…” Rosalie looked at Bette and couldn’t help the sparks she had felt in that moment. She was curious about the strange feelings she was feeling, and would love to explore them further. “….is it wrong to have really liked that just now?”

Bette searched Rosalie’s eyes, which appeared to be longing for some understanding. “No, I don’t think it’s wrong to enjoy kissing a girl…then again I am a little biased about that.”

“I’ve never done that before.”

“Have you ever thought about it?”

“The truth?” Rosalie asked.

Bette nodded.

“Yes…about four times.”

“Four? That’s odd.”

“What is odd about it?”

“That you would be counting. Heck that you would even remember.”

“I remember.” Rosalie’s innocence was endearing. 

“How long have you had thoughts of wanting to kiss a girl?”

Rosalie started to turn shy. She hesitated for a few minutes before finally answering. “A couple of days.”

Bette started to feel nervous. “Is it because of me? Because of my lifestyle that has caused you to think those things?”

Rosalie nodded yes to the first question, and no to the second.

“Because of me?”

“Yes…I can’t help it Bette, but you are so damn cute,” Rosalie shouted out. “I’m not sure when it started, but I found myself very curious about what it would be like to be with you.”

Bette realized this wasn’t good. “Oh boy, but this…it…it isn’t a good thing.”

“Why not?” Rosalie shot back.

“Well for one thing you aren’t gay.”

“For one thing you don’t know that,” Rosalie countered.

Bette was surprised at how fast and assertive her roommates words were returning. “Well, have you ever thought about having sex with a girl?”

“No, not until…” Rosalie started blushing. She looked away from Bette for a moment. “Please don’t make me feel bad about something I am feeling.”

Bette touched Rosalie’s forearm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I am just surprised by this. I thought I was the only one struggling.”

Rosalie looked at Bette. “Struggling? You mean…have you been thinking about me in that way?”

“If you tell your father, I swear I’ll deny it!”

Rosalie fell back against the pillow and laughed. “Bette Porter, you are too fucking cute. How am I not to be attracted to such sweetness?”

In a short time, Bette joined in the laughter.

***********

Once the keycard unlocked the door, Helena held it open for Tina, who was immediately met with the beauty and style of a first class suite. “Wow. Helena it’s huge.”

“It’s lovely isn’t it?” Helena asked as she placed her purse and card on top of the small desk. 

“It’s amazing.” Tina walked from the generous sitting area to the bedroom, where she was greeted by a room larger than the one she had at her home. “I can’t believe how cool this is.” Tina jumped on the bed and laid on her back, staring up at the artistic patterns on the ceiling. “Look at those swirls…they are so perfect.”

Helena smiled as she walked into the room. “I’m glad you approve.” She flipped her heals off and joined Tina on top of the bed. “Tell me, would you care for a drink?”

“I’m fine. But thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

There was an unsettling feeling that Tina started experiencing. Once they were away from the club which had added a degree of sexual stimulation, the reality of the moment was setting in. Helena felt Tina’s hesitance in the awkward silence that developed. She scooted her body a little closer to Tina and pushed a piece of hair from her face. “Are you having doubts?”

Tina turned on her side to face Helena. “No…not really.”

Helena didn’t know Tina well enough yet to weigh how much truth was present in that reply. Helena allowed the fingers that moved Tina’s hair from her face, down the blonde’s neck. As she got to Tina’s chest, she used only her index finger to trace the path to her cleavage. “Not really means there is some. What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?” 

Tina felt a chill go from the back of her neck down her spine. She glanced down at Helena’s finger where it was playfully lingering.


	71. Chapter 71

CHAPTER 71

“If I’m curious, and I think you are cute…and you like me, then why can’t we just fool around?” Rosalie’s purposely batted her lashes. “Come on Bette...I know you can’t fight it too much longer.” Rosalie played with the edge of Bette’s wife beater.

“I don’t want you to get hurt Rosalie.”

“Why would I get hurt?”

“Are you capable of having a one night stand?”

Rosalie was quiet while Bette waited for an answer. “I…well it’s not something I have really done before.”

“Well I have.”

Rosalie was startled by the honesty. “Oh…okay, so then…what is the problem?”

“I’m not sure I can just look at you later as just that. I like you…a lot. I guess I am a little scared of liking you even more after we have sex. Then what? I mean I am only in Italy for a couple of months, then I go home.”

“I like you too. I trust you. Don’t ask me why, because we Italians can take some little time trusting others.”

“Yeah, I kind of get that impression.”

“But with you it has come so easy. It feels natural.”

“Thank you…I think,” Bette said cautiously.

Rosalie smiled. “See, right there…you are just so cute.”

“Rosalie, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Have you had sex ever?”

Rosalie looked away from Bette. “Is it cold in here?”

Bette knew Rosalie was avoiding…..

************

“You’re a lovely woman Tina.”

“Thank you. You are as well.”

Helena used two fingers to unfasten the first button of Tina’s top. “I felt an attraction to you as soon as I walked into the club.”

Tina remained silent while Helena slowly undid each button. When the last one was undone, Helena moved forward and straddled Tina. She placed one hand on both sides of Tina’s head and leaned down, pressing her lips against the blondes. Tina brought her hands around Helena’s back and started to slide them up and down.

“Mmm, you are a fantastic kisser,” Helena said when she pulled away briefly. “I like that in a woman.” When Helena brought her mouth back to Tina’s, she didn’t waste any time snaking her tongue between her lovers lips and teasing her. 

It had been a long time since she felt the feel and taste of another woman, but Tina was finding it hard to welcome the full feeling of it. Every time she felt Helena’s tongue dive into her mouth, or drag down her neck, she could feel it on her skin, but she wasn’t feeling the intensity of the moment, as she had with Bette. 

Helena pulled back when she felt a lack of interest and looked down at Tina. “What’s wrong darling?”

Tina felt embarrassed by her lack of feeling. “Nothing…why?”

“It doesn’t seem like you are feeling pleased.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t usually sleep with someone I don’t know that well. It’s all kind of new to me.”

“We didn’t have to come here. I thought you were okay with it?”

“I was…I am…I…I’m confused.”

Helena kissed Tina’s lips lightly, then pulled back. “Is it a confusion that I can help lead you to some answers?” Helena leaned down and kissed Tina again. This time, Tina tried her best to participate.

**************

This time, Bette was the one to take hold of Rosalie’s chin and turn her face so they were looking into one another’s eyes. “You never had sex yet have you?” Again, Bette watched as Rosalie turned her head. “It’s okay Rosalie. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s a topic that has never really come up. I’ve dated boys. I just never found one that I wanted to have sex with. Is that wrong?”

“Not at all. Being selective about what you want isn’t wrong at all.”

Rosalie smiled. “Thank you. I always feel so nice around you.”

“I don’t think the first time you ever have sex, that it should be with someone you are feeling curious with. You want to be able to look back and remember it as being something very special and meaningful.”

Rosalie used both her hands and pushed Bette’s hair back. “I find you someone very special, and someone who in short time is becoming extremely meaningful.”

“Ro, this wouldn’t go anywhere. Can’t you see? I will be going back to the states. Why on earth would you want to get involved with someone who….wh…..” Before Bette could finish, Rosalie had pushed herself onto Bette, causing them to both fall back against the pillows. 

“Because…I…I love you.”


	72. Chapter 72

CHAPTER 72

“You what?!”

Rosalie felt Bette’s panic as something sweet. It was the same look she had when she learned of her father’s connection with the mafia. “I said…I love you.”

“But you don’t even know me!”

“I know enough to know how I feel.”

“But you really don’t.”

“I do…I’ve never felt so free…so alive. You have brought something so fresh into my life Bette. I’ve never felt this way about a girl. I’m not sure if my feelings ever went in that direction before. I remember one time, working in the market, an incredibly gorgeous woman came in to get some grated cheese. She had this…this elegance about her.” Rosalie’s expression changed as she spoke of this time in her life. “She was so exquisite. Her perfume filled the market.”

“I suppose working with goat heads and cheese all day, just about anything would smell good.”

Rosalie laughed. “No silly, it was more than that. I disregarded it completely. I suppose I never let my thoughts run free at that time. I kept them at bay. I’m not sure where they would have gone had I allowed them that liberation.”

Bette looked at Rosalie, understanding that perhaps the attraction didn’t just start with her, that her feelings with the same sex may have occurred sooner. She knew it had to be very hard being in an Italian catholic family, who had high expectations. “That must have been hard not to be able to really know…for yourself at least.”

“It was. I guess I haven’t really let myself think much about that moment, until now. I’m so close to it.”

“It?”

“I’m sorry if that sounded bad. I mean, with you having the ability to be who you are, and me being close enough to see that lifestyle in front of me, it is inspiring and had allowed me a chance to just be a little free.”

“I understand.”

“I’m not sure what your ex-girlfriend was thinking when she let you go. You’re amazing.”

The reference to Tina made Bette feel sentimental. She had been trying to remove a lot of thoughts from her mind these few days, but she always managed to slip in. Rosalie’s reference at that moment didn’t help keep those thoughts at bay. “She had to figure things out. I don’t necessarily blame her.”

Rosalie sensed the painful heart. She placed her hand on Bette’s. “I still think she let a gem get away.”

#

Both Tina and Helena’s blouses were opened, with the blonde revealing a black lacy number, while the brunette’s was a fancy ivory colored embroidered one. Helena remained on top of Tina, straddling her and making a few wet paths between her chest and her earlobe. Tina tried her best to remain in the moment while Helena made every attempt to arouse her.

“Mmm…do…you….like that Tina?” Helena inquired between kisses.

Tina arched her head back against the pillow, struggling with thoughts of Bette. “It…it’s nice.”

Helena slipped her hand along Tina’s abdomen and up to her bra, pushing one cup above her breast. Her hand pressed against the flesh that filled her palm. Absent was the hard nipple. Helena felt some concern, for she wasn’t used to not having a positive effect on another female. She started licking a patch from Tina’s neck towards her breast. It was at this time that Tina felt she couldn’t go through with it. “I…I can’t…I…please…don’t.”

Helena lifted her head, the ends of her long hair sweeping across Tina’s vulnerable flesh. “What?”

Tina looked into Helena’s eyes. She was confused, scared, and not sure why she couldn’t go through with having sex. She had done so with Johnny, but even then, the first time wasn’t enjoyable at all. Helena was a woman, and for Tina it was more clear that having a relationship with a woman other than Bette, was really moving on. She still remained hopeful that there was going to be a chance to recover something in the near future. “I’m sorry Helena,” Tina said as she sat up, buttoning her blouse.

“I don’t understand? What seems to the be the problem?”

“It’s not you, honestly.”

Helena remained stiff, her ego bruised. “Well bloody hell Tina, if it isn’t me, then what is it?”

“It’s me. I’m not ready for this.”

“About 40 minutes ago at the club, you were more than ready.”

“Please don’t.”

“Don’t? Let me ask you, how many women have ever brought you to a five star hotel like this?”

Tina stared at Helena, who still hadn’t made any attempt to button her blouse up.

“Well? How many?”

“None.”

“Do you not find me attractive?”

“I do. It isn’t that.”

“What is it then?”

Tina took a deep breath in, and exhaled it slowly. “It hasn’t been that long since I broke up with my girlfriend. It just feels strange being with another woman.”

“One way to get over a former lover is to sample a new one,” Helena replied with a smirk. “Always worked for me.”

“It’s not me. I can’t just turn emotions on and off like that.”

“Tina, where is your girlfriend now? Has she moved on?”

“No, I don’t believe so. I don’t know.”

“Do you think she is saving herself for you?”

“I doubt it. I pretty much fucked it up.”

“How many women have you been with?”

“Just her.”

“My god, at your age you should be sowing some wild oats.”

Tina snaked her fingers through her hair. “I’m so fucking confused about so much.”

“Well…let me help you.” Helena moved forward and slid her fingers along Tina’s jaw, down her neck, towards her cleavage.

Tina took hold of Helena’s hand. “I’m sorry. I just can’t. Not right now.”

“What on earth does that mean?”

“It means, that maybe if we take things slow, and date…maybe I’ll feel different.”

Helena was stunned. Helena Peabody never had to ‘date’ someone. Most threw themselves at her. “You are kidding right? You expect me to wine and dine you?”

Tina felt a little embarrassed by Helena’s pompous attitude. “Is it so wrong to want that?”

Helena liked Tina. There was something about her that she really found an attraction to, and it wasn’t simply her looks. Though she never had to pursue a woman, she couldn’t think of a better person to be challenged by. “I suppose if you wish to make this a cat and mouse game, I certainly have no problem doing so. In the end, I’ll have you.”

Helena rose from bed and stood at the side a moment. She placed her hands on her hips, which caused her blouse to push back and expose both breasts which were properly framed by the delicate bra. “Most women would kill to have their hands on these. I expect you won’t be any different in the end.”

Tina watched as Helena slowly buttoned her blouse. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.


	73. Chapter 73

CHAPTER 73

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Neither Bette or Tina carried out an intimate encounter with the new women which were in pursuit of their affection, but that didn’t mean things weren’t beginning to cultivate in that direction.

Bette and Rosalie attended art classes; shared a number of lunches, dinners, and hours of discussion. They were becoming closer than ever before, and although it was only a week since they had that close encounter, a week filled with so much interaction prompted the feelings to be mutual.

Helena was doing her best to capture Tina’s heart. She had taken her to dinner two times during the week, and was now set to pick Tina up for a movie. 

When she pulled into the driveway, Tina was sitting on the front step returning a text message back to Shane, updating her on what was going on between her and this fairly new woman. Shane was easing up quite a bit over the previous week, trying to be more supportive than before. She opened the passenger door and eased into the leather seat that seemed to hug her. 

“Hi Hel. Did you get the tickets ahead of time?”

“Yes. They will be available at the box office when we arrive.”

“I never knew you could do that. Sure beats standing in line.”

“It’s one of the perks of knowing people.” Helena placed her hand on top of Tina’s leg. “I’m sorry I was running a little late.”

“It’s okay. I had to do a few things for my Mom anyway. I wasn’t waiting very long.”

“Mothers…mine was being considerably irritable today.”

“Why is that?”

“She was bitching at some man who hadn’t applied for a grant. I try to stay away from the details, fearing she will put me to work.”

“Have you decided if you are going to try to further your education?”

“If I could do both, I probably would. Right now, I work for the Peabody Foundation, and it can be busier than hell itself.”

“Wouldn’t your mother want you to further yourself?”

“I’m sure she would, but now isn’t the right time. One day perhaps. Hell what do I need an education for? I am already born into wealth.”

“Until she remarries.” Tina had hit upon a sore spot, causing Helena to tighten her grip around the steering wheel.

“That would not sit well with me.”

Tina chose not to pursue the discussion any further. 

#

“How much fun was that?” Rosalie grabbed Bette by the shoulders as they exited the roller ink. “I haven’t gone roller blading in a long time.”

“It was great! It’s been a long time for me too. I’m glad you suggested it.” 

“Bette, did you upload those two pictures of us on your Myspace page?”

“I actually did that right before we went out tonight. You didn’t see it yet?”

“Nope.”

“It looks good. We look pretty goofy.”

“Who cares, it’s not like we are trying to impress anyone…are we?” Rosalie chuckled.

“Nope. I bet Shane will have something to say about it. She’ll probably be trying to score with you long distance.”

“Well, that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Do you want to stop at the café and grab a cappuccino?”

“Sounds fabulous.”

#

“Well fuck me, did you see Bette’s Myspace page?” Shane was in awe, staring at the beautiful Italian that was standing beside Bette.

Alice and Dana walked over to Shane’s laptop. “Who’s that?” Dana asked.

“What the hell? Who is that chick?” Alice’s eyes opened wide.

“Hold on, let me see if her profile is public.” Shane clicked on Rosalie’s picture, which loaded. “Yep, it is.” On the page were a number of very lovely photo’s of Rosalie, as well as a few with she and Bette. When Shane scrolled down, she read some of the messages from her friend to this woman. “Damn…seems like they became pretty good friends.”

“How come we don’t know about this?” Alice folded her arms, aware that they were out in the cold on what was going on with Bette. “No wonder we haven’t heard from her.”

“The Soprano’s for a wallpaper? That’s lame.” Dana offered.

“Click back on her page, see what this Rosalie woman is saying to her.” Alice waited eagerly for Bette’s page to load. When the screen appeared, she examined it closer. “Wow…she seems to be flirting with her.

”Look there. She says ‘thanks for protecting me from the mouse last night.’ I wonder what that was about?” Dana was intrigued by the messages left by Rosalie.

“She is one fucking hot chick! Now I wish I went to Italy.” Shane’s mouth had dropped open, causing Dana to lift her chin to close it. “I wonder if they did the deed?”

“Probably,” Dana said. “I mean, why not? She is single, young, hormones raging. If I wasn’t involved with someone I’m sure I’d be sampling a few of the week’s specials.”

Alice arched a brow at Dana. “Let me just remind you that you are taken, and that won’t be happening.”

“I know, I said IF didn’t I?”

“Shit, I wonder if Tina saw this yet?”

“I doubt it. She would have probably mentioned something to one of us if she did. I’m sure it won’t sit well,” Dana frowned.

“Well, it’s crazy to be upset. They aren’t together anymore,” Alice said defensively.

“True, but I don’t care what they try to deny, they still care about each other…a lot.” Shane could see through both of them. In her heart, even though Bette looked happier than she had in a long time, it was Tina who still had the key to her heart.

#

The movie theatre was nearly empty, with them being only two of the mere ten patrons. The show they were watching had been out for a few weeks, plus with it being a weeknight, a light attendance was guaranteed. For Helena, she wasn’t as interested in the movie as she was with Tina. She glanced over as she watched the blonde waiting to see what was going to happen next on the large screen ahead. She leaned in. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you today.”

Tina stared ahead while she responded. “Thinking about what?”

Helena slid her hand to the top of Tina’s jeans. “About you…and me…together.” She squeezed the inside of her thigh when she said the word ‘together.’

Tina glanced down at her leg briefly, then placed her hand on top of Helena’s to prevent it from continuing. “We can’t…we are in a theatre.”

Helena brought her mouth close to Tina’s ear. “We can go somewhere.” She pulled at Tina’s lobe with her teeth, then slowly released it. “I’m really feeling a need to be very naughty.”


	74. Chapter 74

CHAPTER 74

Previously….

Tina stared ahead while she responded. “Thinking about what?”

Helena slid her hand to the top of Tina’s jeans. “About you…and me…together.” She squeezed the inside of her thigh when she said the word ‘together.’

Tina glanced down at her leg briefly, then placed her hand on top of Helena’s to prevent it from continuing. “We can’t…we are in a theatre.”

Helena brought her mouth close to Tina’s ear. “We can go somewhere.” She pulled at Tina’s lobe with her teeth, then slowly released it. “I’m really feeling a need to be very naughty.”

************

Tina was a young girl with needs of her own. The week had enabled her to get to know Helena a little better. Though she wasn’t Bette, Tina did find the attention quite nice. The more Helena teased her with a breath here, a nibble there, and the attempt to steal a touch, she was finding it harder to refuse her. “Hel, let’s not do this. We are in the middle of a theatre.”

“I know…doesn’t the thought of me taking you here turn you on completely?”

Tina shifted uncomfortably. “It would…normally. But we haven’t even had sex the right way…in a bed. I don’t want my first time with you to be in a car…” Tina realized she slipped, referring to her first time with Johnny.

“Car?”

“I mean…theatre.” Tina understood the mistake she made giving herself to Johnny in a place where she didn’t feel comfortable. She compared it many times to the first time she and Bette had sex. She didn’t want to make a mistake with Helena which would make her regret it later. She felt herself flush with embarrassment at her verbal blunder.

“Then…let’s go somewhere exclusive.”

“I’m not ready.”

Helena slumped in the chair. “Bloody hell girl, when are you going to be ready? I have never…”

Tina turned to Helena. “Never what?”

Helena tried to bite her lip, but couldn’t resist her ego that took over. “I have never been considered resistible. Do you honestly think I am going to beg you to have sex with me?” Helena had started to get loud. “Because honestly Tina, I won’t do that.”

“Will you please keep your voice down?”

Helena took a deep breath, trying hard to compose herself. In much softer voice she continued, “I think you know my intentions are in a well place. Why must you resist the desire?”

“Helena, I’m just not ready. Why can’t you just understand that?”

“Well when do you plan on being ‘ready’ Tina?” 

“I don’t know. This isn’t something I am scheduling on my calendar. It should just happen naturally shouldn’t it?”

“Yes…of course. However, we have spent a fair amount of time together this week. I like you. I assume you like me. We are young, and we have needs to tend to.”

“Please…don’t push me.”

Helena slumped back in the seat, feeling defeated.

# 

“Are you done yet?” Alice was impatiently waiting for Shane to finish the comment on Bette’s page.

“Hold on. I want to find a graphic of a cannoli or something.”

“Hoping to score a few points with the Italian?” Dana grinned as she slouched in the chair.

“Why not? Until my good friend Bette tells me she’s off limits, I can have a little fun.”

Alice folded her arms. “Sometime today.”

“Al…shut it,” Shane quipped. “Yes! Thank god for Photobucket. I’m going to paste the link here and then add something sweet.”

“Hurry up, I want to have some fun too.”

#

Once upstairs, Rosalie and Bette went into their separate apartments, agreeing to take turns showering. Bette was to go first, leaving Rosalie a chance to catch up on a little reading before their art class the next day. 

Both doors to the bathroom which they shared between their apartments were open, so while Bette gathered her clothes, Rosalie lay on the bed reading. She couldn’t help the thoughts that kept replacing Monet. She lost count of how many times she reread the same paragraph. Whenever she started to absorb a few words, she was distracted by a sound from Bette’s room as she was preparing to take her shower. The latest distraction was the sound of Bette’s cell phone. Rosalie couldn’t help but listen.

“Hey Shaney. Nothing…you? Yeah? That’s cool. How is everyone? Uh huh…great. You still have the pad?” 

Rosalie could hear Bette chuckle as she spoke with her friend. She only wished she could hear the person on the other end.

“….you did huh? We are in the art program together. She’s great, we are having a lot of fun.”

Rosalie knew that she was the topic of conversation, which prompted her to try even harder to catch every single word.

Bette lowered her voice. “Sure…yes…yes she is just as beautiful in life. I don’t know. I’m not sure yet. I know. I just…” Bette started to whisper. “Shane, it’s weird. I know I should move on, but I just can’t help but feel weird about it. Yeah…I know. I still keep thinking that there….what? Really…when did she start dating again? Uh huh. Wow. No…I…I guess not. I know…yeah…no I’m fine, honestly…just a little shocked I guess. Well…I guess I should go. I need to take a shower. I’ll be better about keeping in touch. Okay…tell everyone I said hi. Bye…yep…bye bye.” Bette flipped the phone shut. She wasn’t quite sure what to feel, but a sudden sense of closure, endings, and moving on had come over her.


	75. Chapter 75

CHAPTER 75

************  
Rosalie hurried back to the bed, and lay there thumbing through a magazine. Bette walked into the bathroom, feeling somewhat solemn.

“You going to take your shower now?” Rosalie asked.

“Yeah. Do you need to use the bathroom first?”

“No.”

“I won’t be long.”

“Good, I’m going to need some help with this Monet paper. I of all people should know about art living in Italy, but I’m a little perplexed.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Thanks Bette.”

“You’re welcome.” Bette closed the door that separated Rosalie’s room from the bathroom, then closed the second door that went to her room. She undressed and took a moment to stare at her body. She was hoping that the fine cuisine, along with Rosalie’s family feasts, weren’t going to put weight on her. After judging her body for a few minutes longer, she started the shower and stepped in. The frosted glass blurred her female features.

*************

Helena parked her car in Tina’s driveway.

“Thank you for taking me to the movie’s. I had a good time.”

“Thank you for joining me.” Helena leaned in to kiss Tina, but was unsuccessful. “What’s wrong now?”

“I can’t be kissing you in my driveway. My dad would have a fit!”

Helena placed her head on the steering wheel, between her hands as she sighed. 

“I’m sorry Helena. I don’t have the same privilege you do. As I’ve told you, my father hasn’t welcomed my sexuality.”

“Tina, can you just be honest with me please?”

“I have been.”

“Am I wasting my time? We have seen quite a bit of one another, and I can’t help but feel like we aren’t making any progress.”

Tina felt annoyed. “Progress. I disagree with you. Progress defined by you is having sex. Maybe you are used to just tagging someone on the first date, maybe even the second. I’ve made a mistake in the past. I slept with someone right away, and you know what? It sucked. It sucked because I wasn’t really ready. I’m sorry if you can’t understand it, but I want to get to know you first. I want to feel love when I make love. If you’re looking to just get in my pants, then you’re looking in the wrong place.” Tina opened the door and closed it before Helena could react.

*************

Shane IM’d Alice.

~S~ : I told Bette about Tina

Al: What? R u crazy?

~S~: She isn’t moving on because she is holding onto that flame. She had 2 know Al

Al: Fuck. What did she say?

~S~: She tried not 2 show it bothered her, but I could tell it did. I think it was enough 2 make her realize that she should b in Italy and make the most of it.

Al: Damn. I don’t know. I suppose she needed 2 know. I just feel bad that they aren’t 2gether anymore.

~S~: I know. But maybe now they can b good friends.

Al: Maybe. What r u doing tonight?

~S~: Chilling out. I’m going 2 watch sum TV and go 2 bed.

Al: I’m going 2 go 2 the video store and rent a movie.

~S~: Cool. Is Dane coming over?

Al: Nope. She had to help her Mother with something.

~S~: Ok. Well I’ll let u go.

Al: k. Have a good night.

~S~: u 2

*****************

Beside the hot water dripping down her body, Bette was feeling…those feelings ranged from a sense of loss to a slight feeling of freedom. Strange how you can love someone, but feel such a struggle when in a state of limbo. When a choice is finally made, even though it may not be the one you wanted, it does provide a relief to not be in a state where everything just remains paused. So while Bette was feeling some pain over accepting that she and Tina weren’t a couple anymore or would be, she also felt some peace.

She separated her long strands of hair as the water rinsed the shampoo from the thick locks she was blessed with. 

*****************

Rosalie felt her heart beat rise, and nipples harden as impure thoughts filled her mind. Since admitting these new feelings to Bette, she let her mind and body react fully, without reservation. She closed her eyes, trying to keep her feelings in check. As she perused the magazine, she was gradually losing her sense of self control. She closed the magazine and went to the bathroom door, opening it very carefully so it wouldn’t make any noise. The steam started drifting from the bathroom into her bedroom as she peered in. The frosted glass didn’t allow a preview, but the discarded thong and bra aside of Bette’s other clothes, was enough of one to prompt Rosalie to step inside the bathroom and begin removing her own clothes.


	76. Chapter 76

CHAPTER 76

************

Tina’s mother peered above her glasses when Tina walked into the living room. “Did you have a nice time tonight honey?” 

“Yes. The movie was pretty good.”

Tina glanced at her father, who didn’t make any attempt to take his eyes from the television to acknowledge her. 

“I haven’t been to the theater in a long time,” Catherine complained.

“Uh…yeah, well I’m going to head up to my room. I have the early shift tomorrow.”

“Okay. Get some rest.”

Tina made a stop in the bathroom and brushed her teeth. As she flossed, she started to evaluate her feelings for Helena. They were blossoming, not as quickly as they had when she met Bette, but they were present enough that she wasn’t going to disregard this relationship. She rinsed her mouth and proceeded to her room, where she crashed on the bed. She wondered how Bette was doing with classes, adjusting to a different culture, and of course curious about her room mate Rosalie. She decided to bring her laptop to her bed and write Bette an Email.

***********

Rosalie had just dropped the last piece of her clothing when she froze in place at the sound of the shower being turned off. She had no time to make a decision to stay or run, before Bette opened the shower door.

“Rosalie!” On impulse, Bette brought her arm across her breasts. “What….wh….” 

“I’m sorry Bette…I …” Rosalie looked at Bette in her nakedness. Her eyes journeyed from Bette’s eyes, to her neck, the portion of her breasts which were revealed, and down her abdomen to her pubic hair. “You’re so beautiful.”

Bette’s eyes had stolen a few glances at Rosalie’s well defined body. Her olive skin appeared smooth and flawless. Her breasts were firm, her nipples swollen. “You’re…gorgeous,” Bette admitted before dropping her arm away from her body, unveiling her breasts.

Rosalie stepped forward and placed her hand along the side of Bette’s face. She stared into Bette’s eyes, waiting for permission to proceed. When she found neither permission or denial, she pressed her lips against Bette’s. Bette felt her inhibitions dissolve at the presence of the Italians lips against her own. Her hands slid on both sides of Rosalie’s face, holding it tight as she deepened the kiss, snaking her tongue from her mouth into Rosalie’s. 

“Mmmmm,” Rosalie moaned into Bette’s mouth as their kiss heightened.

Bette slid one hand to the back of Rosalie’s neck, bracing it as she kissed her deeply. Her other hand dropped to her breast, beginning a light massage as she grasped it.

Rosalie weaved her fingers through Bette’s long hair as the desire between them rose. She had never been this turned on in her life, and hoped Bette wouldn’t pull back. She wanted them to go all the way, and made it clear when Bette broke from her lips to kiss her neck. “Bette…take me to bed…please make love to me.”

Bette gently guided them towards her bed, never disengaging her lips from Rosalie’s neck as she went. When Rosalie felt the bed touch the back of her legs, she surrendered her body to the bed, slowly easing herself back as Bette slid her body on top of hers.

*************

**From: “TK”  
To: “Bette”  
Subject: Checking in**

_Hey Bette,_

_Was wondering how things were going. I haven’t heard from you since we last spoke on the phone. How’s the food? Have you been able to get to any clubs out there? How are your classes going? Email me!_

_Love,  
T _

Tina sent the email, then decided to check out her Myspace page. When she opened it, she smiled at the message that indicated she had new comments and a new message. She quickly clicked on the message link, hoping that it was from Bette. She frowned, but only slightly. It was a request from Helena to be added as a friend. She accepted the request, then went on to take a look at the comments which were left for her. One was from Alice.

**TK! What’s up? Call me ya big gaymo!**

Tina smiled and clicked on the Beyonce pic that Alice was using for her Myspace picture. She typed a response back and then took a look at the one that Johnny had left for her.

**Tina, miss me yet? Wanna grab a movie? Call me.**

Tina was hoping that Johnny would just go away. She ignored his comment and scrolled down her page. She noticed the last comment Bette left was over a month ago. She clicked on the colorful graphic that Bette was using as a pic, and waited for her page to load. When it did, Tina felt her eyes go green. On the front page was some pictures of Bette and a woman that Tina did not recognize. She was certain that it was taken recently, in Italy, and assumed it was the woman that Bette was sharing some space with, Rosalie. She stared at the picture, taking in the smile that was familiar to her, especially during those days prior to their falling apart. Bette looked happy. This other girl looked sexy. Tina felt crushed. She closed the page and laid back on her bed, feeling she lost something big.


	77. Chapter 77

CHAPTER 77

Rosalie pushed her head back against the pillow as her body rose into Bette’s. “Oh Bette, that feels so wonderful.” Rosalie’s fingernails slid up and down Bette’s back while the brunette circled Rosalie’s swollen nipple with her tongue. Her other breast was being stimulated between Bette’s fingers, while her center tightened with anticipation. Bette pulled her head from Rosalie’s chest and looked down at her. “Are you sure you want to?”

Rosalie nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Rosalie…have you…I mean, I know you haven’t been with a boy yet.”

Rosalie had a feeling she knew what Bette wanted to know. “I’ve used tampons.”

“I need you to tell me if you feel pain, or you want to stop. Okay?”

Rosalie felt herself even more attracted to Bette than she thought possible. They had only started to make love, but the tenderness and care she felt coming from Bette, made her want her even more. “I will…I’ll tell you.”

Bette smiled and kissed Rosalie’s lips lightly, before she slid her tongue across her jaw line to her ear. She rolled the end of her lobe into her mouth, and sucked on it as she dragged her fingers down Rosalie’s abdomen, creating goose bumps to form on the Italian’s olive skin. 

Rosalie wasn’t sure how much of the adrenlin rush she could take. Bette hadn’t even gotten to what was rumored to be the erogenous zone, and her body already felt like it was on fire. Bette kissed further down her abdomen, while Rosalie parted her legs. She was slightly shy, embarrassed to be exposing herself in this way to someone. Rosalie was the poster child of a virgin. Not only had she never been with a man, but she also never experienced an orgasm either. She placed her hand on her pubic bone, feeling embarrassed. “Maybe I should…freshen up?”

Bette continued kissing her inner thigh, as Rosalie struggled between accepting the incredible sensations and vulnerability that was creeping up.

“Bette…Mmm…I’m a little…embarrassed…”

Bette ignored Rosalie’s words, knowing that once her mouth met Rosalie’s center, the woman would be over her initial discomfort and fall victim to the pleasure itself. She lifted Rosalie’s hand from her pubic area, and found her swollen clit poking from between her lips. Bette flattened her tongue and made one very slow but long lick from the start of Rosalie’s vagina to her clit, where she made one strong circle, before proceeding to lick over and above it.

“Oh God!” Rosalie cried at the first touch upon her most sensitive area. Before she could say anything more, she felt Bette’s tongue begin descending back down, following the same path and making the same patterns as she went. Again, Rosalie cried out “Jesus…oh….my god…..”

Rosalie brought one of her hands to Bette’s head, and snaked her fingers through her thick hair, while her other hand grasped the bedspread tight. 

“It’s…won...wonder…wonderful.” Rosalie felt herself losing her breath each time Bette made contact with her clit. Her fingers clenched the hair that was in her hands.

Bette reached up and massaged Rosalie’s breast while her mouth covered Rosalie’s clit. The moans this young woman was expressing, caused Bette to become extremely aroused. She felt Rosalie’s hand cover her own as she massaged her breast. “Ohhhmmmm…oh Bette…I…ache…for you.”

It had been a long time since Bette felt something when she was having sex. The escapades she shared with Cheri were just about sex and nothing about feeling. This was the first time since Tina, that she felt some real emotion. 

************

Tina played with her phone, flipping it open and closing it. Finally, the last time she flipped it open, she decided to call Helena.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“Tina, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. I just…want to apologize for being so harsh tonight.”

“No apology needed. I haven’t meant to come across as a wolf in heat. I just…” Helena got up and closed the door to her bedroom. “I have a very strong attraction to you. I’m an impatient woman, and this pace is quite new to me. I’m sorry if I made you feel so uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay. It was more about me than you.”

“Hey, I found your page tonight.”

“I saw that. I accepted you as a friend.”

“Well I should hope so.” Helena chuckled. “I have to spend a little time pimping mine up. It looks bloody pathetic.”

“Would you mind if I put a picture of us on my page?”

“Of us?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know we don’t have one yet, but I’d like to get one taken.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Good.

“When shall we get together for this photo opportunity?”

“Anytime.” Tina was eager to put Helena’s picture on her page. If Bette moved on, then she wanted to make sure that Bette understood that she had done the same.


	78. Chapter 78

CHAPTER 78

Rosalie felt flushed with warmth that cascaded her body as Bette continued her rhythmic method of pleasing her with both her mouth and fingers. Her breaths became short and desperate. The few words she was able to express, were disjointed and filled with urgency. She no longer owned her body, for it was now under the spell and control of Bette Porter.

Bette’s slid her tongue away from Rosalie’s clit, and journeyed southward along her lips. Her fingers resumed pleasuring the spot she had just traveled from, while her tongue tentatively played with the inside of this young woman. 

“Ohhh …god……Bette…….it’s….so…….” Before Rosalie could finish her sentence, Bette snaked her tongue deep inside of this young woman. Rosalie’s hips met Bette’s face, as she moaned into the night.

**************

Tina didn’t want to push herself towards Helena for the wrong reasons. She was wise enough to know that having done that in the past with Johnny, it wasn’t the answer to her problems. She liked Helena, but she wasn’t sure learning about Bette’s moving on with her life was causing her to find a stronger pull towards her. She needed to see her again soon so she could begin looking at this woman without the hesitation she knew she kept hold of.

“When can I see you again?” Tina asked.

Helena was pleased to hear the question. “Anytime you would like. The sooner the better.”

Tina played with the cord of her laptop. “Tomorrow?”

“I can make myself available for dinner if you would like. I recently found a quaint place that I think you would like. Do you enjoy Italian food?”

Tina cringed at the word Italian. “Um…usually. These days it causes some stomach upset.”

“That’s okay. I’ll surprise you. There are some lovely American places that I also know of.”

“I thought you haven’t been in the states that long?”

“Not long this time around,” Helena chuckled. “I’ll pick you up around 7pm okay?”

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Tina flipped her phone shut and started to lose herself in letting Bette go, as she embraced Helena into her life.

****************

Bette was orally stimulating Rosalie’s clit, a gesture which was not only appreciated by the young Italian, but warranted. Their skin was moist with sweat from the heat that their bodies were producing as they made love. She gently slipped one finger inside of Rosalie, mindful that she had not been with a man, and wanting to ensure she didn’t cause her any discomfort.

“Ano…ther……” Rosalie requested.

Bette started to slip a second finger inside, feeling the muscles tighten further as she did. Once Rosalie started to relax more, Bette was able to begin a steady rhythm in and out of her as she searched for the soft spot which was famous.

Rosalie gripped the bedspread as her body started to tense. The pleasure Bette was providing, was nothing she ever experienced in her life. She felt as though she hit a euphoric state and was fearful she was literally going to drown in this exhilarated state. She felt the need for air intensify, at the same time her throat tightened from her held breaths. “Ohhh…oh…g…god…”

Bette had found the spot, and she wasn’t going to stop. She manipulated that small area over and over while her tongue circled her engorged clit. Rosalie’s moans had become less, her breaths limited. Bette felt the impending orgasm tighten around her fingers as Rosalie’s hips thrust strongly against her hand and face. She slowed her mouth as her fingers drew the orgasm completely out of her. When Rosalie’s moans faded into strong breaths, Bette knew she had completed what she set out to do. Just when she rested her head on Rosalie’s thigh, she felt Rosalie pull her leg away quickly. 

“Oh no!”

“What?” Bette sat up immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh my god…oh Bette….I’m so….please…please go.”

“Go? Rosalie.”

Rosalie grabbed the bedspread and covered herself. “Please Bette. Just….”

Bette stood from the bed. “But this is my apartment. Why do you want me to leave?”

“Stay in my apartment tonight.”

Bette became concerned. She didn’t understand what she had done wrong. She was worried she hurt her in some way. Was Rosalie not ready for this? Did she make love to her too strong? So many questions filled her mind. When Rosalie started to cry, Bette knew she couldn’t leave her. She sat back on the bed, hesitating to touch the bare shoulder that was within her reach. “Rosalie, please talk to me.”


	79. Chapter 79

CHAPTER 79

Bette wiped the tears from Rosalie’s face. “Please. I need to know what I have done.”

“It…it’s not you.” Rosalie was overcome with embarrassment. The last thing she wanted Bette to know, was that she accidentally passed urine while they had sex. 

“I have a hard time understanding that. We were making love, you seemed to be enjoying what you were feeling.”

Rosalie looked from the bed to Bette, recognizing the worry in her eyes. “Baby, it wasn’t anything you did. My god I have never felt anything so incredibly beautiful in my life.”

Bette took hold of Rosalie’s hands. “Then what? What is it?”

Rosalie bit the bottom of her lip as she hesitated. “I…I had…an accident.”

“What do you mean?”

Rosalie felt herself clam up from the utter embarrassment. “Nothing.”

“No…please tell me what you mean Ro.”

Rosalie felt the warmth of Bette’s heart, and that warmth offered enough security for her to reveal what she was panicked about. “I think I peed.”

Bette looked from Rosalie’s eyes to the bedspread that she was covering her lower body with. A small smile formed just as she took hold of Rosalie in her arms and squeezed her, relieved that it wasn’t anything serious. “Oh Rosalie….I don’t think that is what happened.”

“Bette I did,” Rosalie spoke into the brunettes long hair.

Bette released her embrace. “I don’t think so. Why don’t you just feel the sheet yourself.”

Rosalie looked at Bette tentatively. She was scared to confirm her fear, but felt trustful of Bette’s opinion that she hadn’t had such an embarrassing accident. She slipped her hand beneath the covers and felt the sheets. Her brows curled from confusion. “But…I swear to you Bette, I felt like I ….”

“I know. I don’t doubt at all what it felt like.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope.”

“Is that what I am suppose to feel when I have sex?”

Bette smirked. “Only if you’re with someone good.”

Rosalie sensed the humor in Bette’s egotistical reply. “No, come on, I’m serious. Can I expect to feel that every time I have sex?”

Bette understood Rosalie’s questions. It was typical to question the experience, when you haven’t had sex before. “You may not always experience it. Not all girls or women ejaculate.”

“Ejaculate! What the fuck do you mean? I may have been a virgin, but I certainly know that ejaculation has to do with men.”

Bette laughed. “That’s what a lot of people think. It’s not true. Not all women can achieve it, but when you feel that warm flush come over you at that moment you orgasm, you end up ejaculating fluid. For some women it can be a small amount, and more for others.”

“Jesus, I had no idea.”

Bette smiled at the innocence before her. “Is it okay if I come back into the bed and hold you?”

Rosalie stared at Bette. As a tear escaped and traveled down the cheek of her face, she realized the full impact of what she shared with Bette. “I would love for you to hold me.”

***********  
NEXT DAY

“Tina, your father would like you to take his car for service today.”

Tina poured herself a cup of orange juice. “What time?”

“His appointment is for 10am. It shouldn’t take too long. I dropped him at work this morning.”

“Can I run some errands after that?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Good, I want to surprise Helena and bring her lunch.”

************

Rosalie looked over at the clock. “Shit! Bette, wake up.”

“Wh..what?”

“We’re late for class.”

Just as Rosalie and Bette started to unwrap themselves from the confines of the sheets, there was a knock at the door.

“Bette, where eez Rosalie?” Antonio hadn’t received a response from his knocks at his daughters apartment, and began to worry. 

“Oh great, just remember to tell my family I love them,” Bette said as she threw her robe on.

Rosalie blew Bette a kiss as she departed for her apartment. 

“Bette, are you awake?” Antonio questioned.

Bette opened the door. “Hi.”

Antonio looked beyond Bette to the room. “Where eez Rosalie?”

“She’s probably sleeping. Have you knocked on her door?”

“Yes. She no answer.”

“I can check on her if you like.”

“Yes, thatsa good idea.”

As Bette made her way to the bathroom that joined their rooms, Antonio was right on her heels. Bette knocked on the door which Rosalie had closed to the bathroom.

“Come in.” 

Bette and Antonio walked into the room, to find Rosalie fully dressed.

“Rosalie, I was a banging outside a your door. You’re a late for school.”

“Papa, I overslept. Don’t worry, we won’t be too late.”

Antonio looked over at Bette then back to Rosalie. “You both overslept?”

Bette felt her throat go dry.

“Yes Papa.”

Antonio looked at Rosalie’s bed which was still made. “Why didn’t you answer the door when I knocked?”

“I must have been sleeping.”

“You sleep?” Antonio’s face started to turn red. “Where’s da boy Rosalie?” Antonio stepped into her apartment and opened her closet door.

“Papa, what are you talking about?”

“You dink I’m a fool? I knock on a the door. No answer. I knock on the other door. Bette answers. You tell me you overslept, you late for school.”

“Yes Papa. I overslept.”

“How did you have a the time to get dressed and not hear me?”

Bette felt a chill run down her spine. She waited for Rosalie to return with something convincing.

“I slept in Bette’s apartment.”

Bette’s eyes widened.


	80. Chapter 80

Antonio looked towards Bette, which caused her to tighten her grip on her robe. She felt him stare right through her, waiting for something additional to come forth. When he didn’t receive any offers, he returned to his daughter. “What do you mean? Bette tella me you musta overslept. If a you slept in Bette’s a room, why is she confused?”

Bette started to cough. “Excuse me….*cough*……water… I’ll be right back.” Bette departed to the safety of her apartment.

“I slept in Bette’s apartment last night, and left before she woke up.”

“What a sleep a there for? You have a nice apartment.”

“The mice Papa, you haven’t caught them.”

“Ahhh…to hell with the mice a. They don’t a eat a lot.” Antonio started walking towards the door. “I make a call to Lucia, and tell her your brotha will be taking you both to school.”

Bette heard Antonio close the door and exhaled the breath she felt she was holding the whole time. Within a few seconds, Rosalie was entering her apartment.

Bette peered from around the corner. “I thought for sure I was going to be part of the next batch of sausages.”

Rosalie laughed. “He hasn’t a clue. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t know Rosalie, he seems pretty bright to me. It didn’t take him long to add up that I was telling him that you must have overslept, as if you were in your place the entire night, to finding the bed made and then you saying you were in my place. I doubt this is the end of it.”

“I’m sure it is. Don’t worry about Papa okay?” Rosalie walked over to Bette. She placed her hands on the edges of Bette’s robe, feeling the soft fabric. “I’m sorry I had fallen asleep last night before I had the chance to make love to you.”

“It’s okay,” Bette smiled back. “Are you okay…with everything that happened last night?”

Rosalie smiled bright, a twinkle in her eye. “Bette, I’m more than okay with what happened last night. I absolutely adore you.” Rosalie placed her hands on both sides of Bette’s face and kissed her lips.

************

“Can you believe that we are already shopping for things for school?” Alice flipped the visor up in the car.

“Nope. The last month has just flown by,” Dana admitted.

“Let’s find some good deals and then hit the beach. It’s a great day for it.”

“Should we see what Shane and Tina are up to?”

“I don’t care. We can call them up if you want.”

“That would be cool. We need to have some fun before we split up for school.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Alice said as she adjusted her sunglasses.

***********

Tina took the invoice the service department gave her, and placed it in her purse. “Thanks Dave.”

“You’re welcome Tina. Don’t forget to tell your father I said hello.”

“I won’t.”

Tina couldn’t wait to head over to the Peabody office suite. She was sure that Helena would not only be surprised, but be pretty happy with the attire she had decided to wear. The tight jeans, along with the form fitting jersey that accentuated her cleavage and chest, was something of an eye catcher. She pulled into the parking lot of the majestic building that she had only seen a couple of times in her life. Her family never seemed to have a need to do business with anyone in that building, but she recalled the few times they passed, how unique the architecture was. Who would have thought that she would have a need to be visiting someone there herself.

Upon entering the building, she scanned the large sign on the wall indicating the location of each office. “Suite 500. Well that elevator trip will be a short one.” 

**************  
ITALY

“I can’t wait to take some pictures over the weekend for our photography class,” Rosalie shared as she and Bette walked from their last class.

“Me too. I wish I had one of the digital SLR camera’s,” Bette admitted.

“No kidding. It would be crazy to take pictures with one of those.”

“I think we will still be able to get some nice pics with our own camera’s.”

“I hope so.” Rosalie reached for Bette’s hand and squeezed it. “Last night was such a beautiful experience for me.”

“I’m glad. It was the first time since…” Bette stopped speaking.

“Shhh…I know. I have been so caught up in myself and all I felt, that I haven’t thought to ask so much about you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah. It was nice.”

Rosalie looked into Bette’s eyes. “Nice?”

“Sure.”

“Anything else?”

Bette wasn’t sure what Rosalie was needing to hear. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…was it “only” just nice?”

“It was more than nice Rosalie. It was really wonderful. It was awhile since I slept with someone that I felt something for.”

Rosalie smiled before bringing her mouth to Bette’s ear. “We can go somewhere romantic tonight if you like.” 

Bette cared very much for Rosalie, but she also was a realist. She knew that this was a short lived romance. She wasn’t so sure that Rosalie understood that concept. “Rosalie, what’s going to happen when I leave?”

“I don’t want to think about that.”

“But I do. How will you be? You love me. You can’t just stop loving someone when you love them.”

Rosalie searched Bette’s eyes, the window to her soul. “I won’t. I won’t stop loving you ever.”

“But that isn’t fair to you. I will go back to the United States. You will remain here in Italy. There is no future for us. We only have a couple of months left.”

Rosalie’s eyes filled with tears at the reality that she may never see Bette again. “I don’t want to think of that. I want here and now. I have found someone I love very much. Is it so bad to want to not let go of that sooner than I have to?”

Bette felt Rosalie’s pain. “No…it isn’t. I just worry the day I leave. I worry about how you will cope.”

“I will be starting school then. I will work in the market with Papa. I’ll keep busy.”

Bette knew what it was like to have to accept the loss of someone whom you love deeply. She didn’t want Rosalie to feel the same sorrow she had, when she had no choice but to let go of Tina. “I still will worry.”

Rosalie brushed Bette’s lips with her thumb. “Shhh…I know you will. That is what I love most about you, your concern for everyone else before yourself.” She leaned in, and in the city of love, she expressed her own for the woman she was standing on the sidewalk with.


	81. Chapter 81

CHAPTER 81

Peggy didn’t skimp on a thing when it came to her office decor. The mahogany wood throughout was brilliant. The shelves that ran from the floor to her ceiling offered a historical feel to them. The art which adorned her walls were ones which were behind shatterproof glass. A clear sign they were valuable. A bust of greek philanthropist Herodes Atticus was positioned atop a pedestal in the corner. 

She sat across from Helena as she scanned her appointment book. “Helena, did you confirm the luncheon with Morris for next Friday?”

“Yes mother. One o’clock at Stephano’s.”

“Good.”

#

Tina entered the suite to be greeted by a middle aged woman, wearing glasses and going through some paperwork. “Excuse me.”

The woman peered at Tina above her glasses. “Yes, may I help you?”

“I’m here to see Helena.”

The woman scanned Tina up and down, wondering just what kind of business this young girl would have with Helena. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Appointment?” Tina chuckled. “No. I’m actually here to surprise her.”

“The Peabody’s don’t look favorably on surprises,” the woman said dryly.

Tina’s expression turned serious. “Oh…well, she knows me. I’m sure if you just phoned her to let her know I am here, it will be fine.”

The woman hesitated. “Why don’t you take a seat over there. She is in a meeting at the moment. When she is done, I’ll let her know she has a visitor.”

Tina felt minimized by this woman. She reluctantly turned towards the leather chairs and slumped down in one of them. She watched as the woman carried on with her daily duties. She jumped from the feeling of her phone vibrating from the inside of her purse, against her leg. When she flipped the phone open, she smirked.

**“My mother is driving me bloody crazy! I can’t wait 2 c you”**

Tina smiled as she started typing a message back to Helena.

**“If u can’t, then come out n get me”**

Tina pressed the send button on her phone. She looked over that the receptionist, wondering just how she was going to react when Helena came to get her. Her cell phone vibrated once more.

**“What do u mean?”**

This wasn’t the way Tina had planned, as she wanted to surprise Helena, but the difficult receptionist made it impossible for that to happen.

“The bulldog at the front won’t let you know I am in the reception area”

#

Helena looked at her phone and smiled. “Mother, are we through?”

Peggy looked from the papers in front of her to her daughter. “What’s your rush?”

“I have someone waiting for me in the lobby.”

“Who might that be?” Peggy was as nosey as she was domineering.

“Tina.”

“Is that the young girl you mentioned to me before?”

“Yes, yes it is. I am so chuffed about her.”

Peggy smiled. “Well, it’s good to know you are getting out and about more. You had me worried for a little while.”

“Yes, well no worries now. I was hoping to get to see her today.”

“Then put paid to things here and go see her.”

Helena smiled “Thank you mummy.” She kissed her mother then quickly exited the fancy lobby to meet Tina in the lobby.

#

As the days passed into weeks, Helena and Tina had become closer than ever. Once Tina was able to put her past behind her, and put her focus on Helena, she was able to open herself up to this new relationship. For Tina, she was feeling desired and wanted again, and that filled her in many ways. At the same time, Helena was a rather complex woman. She was driven, strong, dominant, and at times moody. There were things which matched a lot of Bette’s own personality, but the one thing which was quite different, was the wealth. Helena was used to using her money to correct some of the errors or her ways when it came to her work, her life, and with Tina. Tina didn’t always appreciate being smothered with gifts following a disagreement. For the many reasons they were working well together, there were just as many which Tina felt worked against them. However, she was a realist and understood that in life, you may not get the 100 percent you are looking for, and this which she had with Helena, she believed was enough happiness to keep her content and fulfilled.

#

In the weeks that passed for Bette and Rosalie, the bond had also grown stronger. When Bette had seen the pictures on Tina’s Myspace, of she and the Brit, she had let go completely. Her concern now was how Rosalie would handle them separating when the Art program came to a conclusion in the next few weeks. She surprised herself, with how deep her own feelings had developed for this stunning Italian girl, and in a sense also feared how she was going to walk away from her. Rosalie had come into her life at a very low time, and though she didn’t plan on it, she had found some very real and deep feelings grow for her. She knew going back to the states was going to bring many tears once more.

“Bette, are you okay?” Rosalie asked as she sat next to the brunette.

“I suppose.”

“You look sad.”

Bette looked from the book she was reading for class, to Rosalie. “I’m okay.”

Rosalie smiled and tilted her head, offering an expression that said she didn’t quite believe her. She reached for the book and took it from Bette’s hands. “I don’t think you are okay.”

Bette tried to force a smile, but it was lost as soon as it started. “How can you tell?”

“Oh, I think I have gotten to know you pretty well. I see it in your beautiful eyes when you are feeling something. It’s crazy how much someone can reveal just in the eyes.”

Bette didn’t deny the accusation.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m not usually really comfortable discussing my feelings to be honest.”

Rosalie puckered her lips. “I know…this too I know about you.”

“How do you know so much?”

“The same way you know so much about me,” Rosalie returned. She leaned in and kissed Bette lightly on the lips. “You’re feeling bad because we must part in a few weeks aren’t you?”

Bette nodded in agreement.

“Me too. I’ve never been more happy in my life, than I have been with you Bette.”

Bette felt happy as well. She didn’t think it was fair to compare it to Tina, but it was the only time she felt that happy in her life, and so she did. The happiness was different. She couldn’t put her finger on it, and couldn’t really even explain if it were the same level or not, but it was different. It was a nice feeling not having to work so hard for someone to want to be with you, and love you. Towards the end of the relationship she shared with Tina, she had found herself at the lowest point in her life. She questioned Tina’s love, her motives, and ultimately felt insecure with what their relationship had become. She could feel the difference in the dynamics, and felt very loved by Rosalie, as well as feeling a love for this woman too.

“I’m so tired of losing,” Bette admitted. “I’m not used to losing. I strive hard to be the best I can be. I’ve learned very young that if you work hard for something, there isn’t a reason why you shouldn’t be successful. Yet, in love…there seems to be a double standard.”

Rosalie rubbed Bette’s forearm. “Not always.”

Bette felt disappointed. “I’m not sure about that Rosalie.”


	82. Chapter 82

CHAPTER 82

“Are you excited about starting school Tina?”

Tina turned over in bed and looked at Helena. “I’m a little nervous I suppose.”

“You’ll be fine darling. Just be sure to keep focused on your studies and not all the parties that will be happening all around you.”

“Yeah, right. I hope I’m not rooming with someone who will be partying too much.”

“Well, I just hope she is as ugly as hell,” Helena scoffed. “I don’t need to add that concern to my list.”

Tina laughed. “You don’t need to add any concern to your list at all. I’m with you, and I’m happy.”

“I am too. I’m even happier that your father decided to get you that car. It will make things easier for when you come home on weekends.”

“Yeah, about that… I’m not sure I will be doing that every weekend.”

Helena wrinkled her brows. “What? Why is that?”

“Well, I may want to hang there sometimes. You know there are a lot of activities that the school has planned for the weekends.”

“You’re kidding me. You would prefer staying at school rather than spend the weekends together?”

“I didn’t say that. I’ll be home a lot of weekends I’m sure. Even though this place is closer than it would have been if I had to drive to L.A., it’s still a bit of a drive.”

“I was eager to acquire this beautiful apartment because I wanted us to have our privacy, without mother getting involved. I’m not pleased with the decision not to come home. I think it is something we should have discussed.”

Tina rolled her eyes. “Come on Hel, when you were in college I am sure you wanted to experience all you could.”

Helena tried to remind herself that Tina was a bit younger than she, and had the right to go through all the same things she had done herself. “You’re right…forgive me for being selfish.”

Tina smiled. “It’s okay. It feels good that you want to spend time with me.”

“Good. Let’s do some other feel good activities.” Helena arched a brow and slid her body on top of Tina’s.

#

“What ees dees about?” Antonio was confused. “I thought a you wanted to go to school here?”

“Papa, if I study in the United States as an exchange student, it would be a fantastic opportunity. Please Papa, please let me?”

Antonio looked at his wife “Mama, you talk a some sense into the girl. I’m gonna go make some a sausages.”

Antonio shook his head as he grabbed a fresh apron from behind the kitchen door, before heading down to the market.

“Rosalie, whats a going on? You never wanted to go to America before.”

Rosalie pouted at the kitchen table. “I think Bette is lucky. She got to come here and study for a few months, and it has made her so happy Mama. I want to do something like that too.”

“Okay, well next summer, maybe Papa will send you oversees to have a nice a time studying for a couple a months.”

That wasn’t Rosalie’s plan. She couldn’t bear to think of being without Bette for so long. As the time passed by, and there was one week left before Bette would head home, Rosalie was in great pain at the thought of parting. Earlier she imagined she would be in school and work at the market, and keep as busy as possible as she accepted the absence. She now realized it would be almost impossible to ignore the suffering that had already started setting in at the thought of parting.

#

“Tina, your father is going to rent a small van next weekend to move you into the dorm. You’ll need to start putting your things in the boxes he brought home tonight, so you will be ready.”

Tina poked at her bowl of spaghetti. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you talk to Bette today?”

“We both left messages. I was hoping to try to plan for all of us to get together before we all had to move into our dorms this weekend.”

“Well you still have time to plan something. When is she due home?”

“She told me she would be leaving Italy tomorrow, around noon.”

“Okay, well everyone still has Thursday and Friday.” Catherine twirled some spaghetti onto her fork. “Does she know about Helena?”

“I suppose. We both really didn’t talk too much about who we have been seeing.”

Catherine kept her fork in the air. “So she was seeing someone there?”

“Yeah. She was a beautiful Italian girl.” Tina continued to poke at her food.

Catherine could sense that Tina wasn’t herself. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I can tell something is bothering you. What is it?”

Tina felt her face get warm as she struggled to hide her emotions. “I don’t know. I feel like so much is changing so fast. Helena has a place now, closer to the school. But it isn’t really close either. I’m going to have to hike there on weekends, and I’m thinking that there will be a lot of weekends I won’t want to.”

“Okay, well you need to talk to her…let her know.”

“I have. I don’t think she was really happy about it.”

“Well it’s an adjustment for sure. Give it time. And Bette?”

“What about Bette?” Tina asked.

“Do you plan on trying to keep your friendship alive?”

“Sure.”

“That doesn’t sound so convincing.”

“I am. I just don’t know…it will be kind of weird I think.”

“What will?”

Tina placed her fork down on the table. “I think it will feel weird if she sees me with Helena.”

“Well that wouldn’t happen too often. I would imagine hardly at all. She is going to Stanford and you are going to Berkley. That’s about 30, 35 miles apart. She will probably stay there weekends. How could you possibly be in the company of both at once?”

“I suppose.”

Catherine decided to go out on a limb. “Are you still in love with Bette?”

Tina glanced from her plate to her mother. “Why would you ask that?”

“No particular reason. Just a nosey mother asking I guess.”

It was difficult for Tina to understand it herself, so to explain made it feel almost impossible. “I feel a different love with Helena than I had with Bette. I don’t know what it is. If I didn’t love Helena, I wouldn’t be with her Mom.”


	83. Chapter 83

CHAPTER 83

“I know honey.”

“I don’t know. I think I realize that Bette and I were high school loves, and that I needed to sow my oats. Now that she and I have new people in our lives, I just let go of what we had, and I put my attention into my relationship with Helena.”

“Bette is single now though right? I mean, the girl isn’t coming here is she?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“As long as you are happy dear.”

“I am Mom. Helena treats me well. She looks after me.”

“I know she does. Your father actually enjoyed her company last weekend, when we had dinner.”

“Yeah, I was kind of surprised at that.”

“I think he is starting to come around.”

“That’s good. It’s too bad it took all this time.” Tina showed her regret that her father was beginning to accept who she was now. She wished he had done that earlier, when she was still with Bette.

#

Rosalie sat on her bed, watching Bette as she walked around her apartment, getting her things together. She didn’t want to face the next morning, when she would have to say goodbye to her. She knew she couldn’t show her emotions in front of her family, so whatever she wanted to share with Bette, had to be done on this evening, or at least before she went downstairs with her things the following day.

“Rosalie, have you seen my Ipod?” Bette asked as she entered Rosalie’s apartment.

“It’s on my nightstand.”

“Oh great. I was worried mighty mouse had run off with it.” Bette looked at Rosalie, who hadn’t even broken a smile. She took a seat next to her on the bed. “Are you okay?”

Rosalie didn’t speak. Instead, her eyes filled with water, which caused Bette’s heart to wrench. “Oh god, Rosalie. Please don’t cry.” Bette placed her arm around the fragile young girl. “I know this is hard. All day I have been trying to avoid even talking about it.”

A tear escaped from each lid, and streamed down each of her cheeks as she listened to Bette. Bette wiped them both away with her thumbs. “Shhhh…you can come visit me. I would love that. Maybe one day I can even come back here and see you too.” Bette felt her own eyes fill.

“I love you Bette. I can’t watch you leave. My heart can’t take it.”

Bette closed her eyes as she hugged Rosalie, bringing her close to her. “I know…I love you too. But there isn’t anything we can do Ro. I have to go back.”

“I know that. I’m so angry with Papa. I wanted him to let me go to school in America, and he said no.”

“You did? You didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I’m glad then, I mean if he said no, I would have likely gotten my hopes up.”

“I know I did. I thought he would let me.”

“This is a great place for schooling Rosalie. You will meet someone nice while in school. I’m sure of it. Who wouldn’t want to be with such a beautiful girl like yourself?”

Rosalie’s smile was thin. “Thank you, but it isn’t the same.”

Bette understood that, but she was also a realist, and understood that this wasn’t a relationship which could sustain long distance. They were young, and they were headed to school in different countries. It wasn’t like either of them had their own money, and time available to just fly out and see one another. It would be nearly impossible to keep this relationship going long distance, and it wouldn’t be fair to either one of them to try.

#

“Mom, do you ever wonder about Mags? Where she is? What she is doing?”

Catherine’s face flushed. Mags was the woman who had her heart early on in life, and though she had shared that part of her life with Tina, she had placed it safely back where she had kept it since she was that young girl in love. As a matter of fact, unbeknownst to Tina, her mother had quite a hard time for a few weeks following that discussion. The feelings that it had prompted, surprised her, and also made her own heart ache for the woman she had left behind to follow what both society and her family felt was a proper life.

“I would rather not discuss it.”

Tina was surprised. Although they didn’t discuss Mags since the difficult time Tina was going through at the end of her Senior year, she was taken back by her Mom’s unwillingness to talk about it. “Why not?” She pried further.

Catherine placed the last dish from the dishwasher into the cupboard. “It was very hard to talk about then Tina, but I did because I knew it would help ease your pain. It’s not something I have the ability to talk about just for the sake of talking.”

“But…I mean…”

“Tina. Please!”

Tina’s eyes widened. Her mother seldom got short with her. She knew it was best to defer the discussion to something else. “I’ll take the trash out.”

#

“I want us to make love one last time,” Rosalie requested. 

“Ro, that probably isn’t a good idea.”

“Please…baby I can’t just let you go back to America without releasing all I feel for you, to you.”

Bette’s emotions were mixed with sadness, confusion, anxiety, and desire. Knowing that within twelve hours she would be on the bus and heading to Catania airport, away from this young girl who had soothed so much of her pain, by showing her how to love again, made her weak. Yes, Rosalie was a weakness to Bette.

Rosalie stood from the bed, and turned to stand before Bette. The lingerie she had chosen was a red spaghetti strap slip. It came just below her hips, leaving little to the imagination. Bette’s eyes followed the outline of her figure, up until she met Rosalie’s eyes. “Make love to me.” Rosalie’s fingernail traced a line along side Bette’s jaw, down her neck, to the edge of her top. “Make me feel like a woman who feels desired.”

Bette’s breaths became short as Rosalie openly shared what she wanted from her. When the Italian reached down and lifted Bette’s shirt up and off of her, Bette remained still, struggling with whether she should stop things now, or let them proceed.

“Ro…”

“Bette…”

Bette searched her eyes. “We shouldn’t.”

“We should.”

Rosalie pushed Bette’s legs apart when she slid one leg between them. She leaned down and pressed her wet lips against Bette’s. The reaction was one she had hoped for, as she felt Bette’s tongue slip between her lips, and then against her own. Her hands held onto the sides of Bette’s face, while Bette’s hands slid under her slip. The feeling of the American’s soft hands sliding up and down her sides caused chills to run through her body. She deepened the kiss, until Bette pulled her head to the side to gain some air.


	84. Chapter 84

CHAPTER 84

Once Rosalie removed Bette’s sports bra, she fell back onto the bed and stared up at Ro. “You’re going to make this hard on me aren’t you?”

Rosalie nodded in between delivering kisses to Bette’s neck. Bette could feel herself getting more and more wet as Rosalie continued with the foreplay. She felt a sense of freedom when Rosalie removed her jeans. “No panties today?” Rosalie asked.

Bette smiled. “No. I didn’t want to do my laundry, so I decided to wing it.”

“Sorry…wing it?”

“Um…wear nothing.”

“Ah…no complaints here baby.” Rosalie smiled as she straddled Bette’s thigh. 

Bette felt Rosalie’s center rub against her leg. “You’re so wet,” Bette informed with a hazy smile.

“Uh-huh. So wet.” Rosalie started to push her center further against Bette’s leg, feeling aroused by the feeling of Bette’s leg against her sensitive center. With her legs spread, and her clit swollen, she had more than enough contact needed to feel the stimulation.

Bette reached forward and grabbed Rosalie’s buttocks, helping to grind her into her leg further as she raised it slightly with each thrust of Rosalie’s body against her. The sight of Rosalie’s expression as she revealed the beauty of her climax on her face, was something Bette couldn’t take her eyes from.

“Ohhh……..” Rosalie whimpered. “So….so good.” Her words were light, desperate, lost in the moment. She reached down to please Bette. When she found how wet she was, she moaned with delight. “Uhmmmm…yessss.”

Bette’s brows curled at the feel of that first contact with her clit. “Ohhhh gaawwwd.”

“Pray….if….you must,” Rosalie breathed hard. “But….he has….nothing to do ….with this.” Rosalie’s hips and fingers started following the same, familiar pattern. “Ohhhhhhmmmmm.

“Oh my gawwd…..do..don’t stop…..Pleeeassse,” Bette begged as she felt her body tense as it escalated towards an orgasm. “Just….like that.”

Bette felt her eyes turn back behind her lids as her head pushed back into the pillow. Rosalie was doing all the work for both of them. All Bette could muster at this point, was to clutch the bedspread between her fingers and allow their shared desire to erupt either together, or right after.

#

Tina pushed a few pairs of jeans aside, hoping to find her size on the shelf. 

“What times is Bette’s flight coming in?” Alice asked, holding a sweater up to herself.

“I think it’s suppose to come in tomorrow sometime around 600pm. With the time change and layovers, I think that’s why it seems like she will be in the air forever.”

“She is going to be pretty tired.”

“I imagine so.”

Alice was feeling nosey. “So…how is Helena?”

The question was a fair one, but it seemed so much more like an intrusion from Alice. “She’s fine.”

Alice smiled. “How’s the sex?”

Tina wrinkled her face in disbelief. “God, you’re so nosey.”

“What? It’s only a question.”

“It isn’t really anyone’s business.”

Alice arched a brow. “Well that’s a good enough answer.”

Tina dropped the jeans on the table. “What do you mean?”

“Well…thinking back when you and Bette were together, you use to be fun. You would brag about all the crazy and sexy things you both did. With Helena, you haven’t said a word.”

Tina folded her arms, annoyed with how Alice weighed her opinion. “You know, Helena is like three years older than us…maybe four. She is a lot more mature than that, and I don’t feel I need to justify a thing to anyone.”

Alice was taken back by Tina’s stark response. “Whoa, chill girl. I wasn’t asking you to justify a thing. I’m happy things are good with you both.”

Tina felt the snap in return. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want everyone to keep comparing things to Bette.”

Alice placed the sweater on back on the shelf. “Tina, I don’t think anyone is trying to. Bette has been the only girl you have been with, so it’s typical that everyone will just ask you some questions. Call it being nosey.”

“Well it is nosey. I just don’t feel that I need to explain the differences.”

Alice turned back to the rack of clothing, choosing not to talk any further about Bette or Helena.

#

Rosalie reached for Bette’s face and kissed her. “I will miss you so much.”

Bette reached deep inside of herself as she tried to stay strong. “Me too. We can email and stay in touch on Skype.”

“I didn’t know about that program. I’m glad you downloaded to my computer.” 

Bette reached around her neck to unclasp the necklace that Rosalie had her wear, to protect her from the “dangerous” mafia. “Thank you for letting me wear this.”

“No, please. I want you to keep it.”

“Oh I couldn’t”

“Please Bette. Wear it often, and think of me.”

Bette hesitated before reaching towards Rosalie and hugging her tight. Tears started flowing freely from them both.

“I have to go,” Bette said softly.

Rosalie carried Bette’s laptop, while she carried the rest. “Don’t dismiss the chance I might just be getting myself over there.”

Bette didn’t say a word as the descended the stairs. When they passed through the market, Antonio and Antonietta were there to wish her the best. Bette cringed one final time as she watched Antonio butcher the meat. 

“Here, you take a this with you.” Antonietta handed Bette a bag of Italian cookies. “You too skeeny.”

Bette smiled as she hugged Rosalie’s mother. She had come to like the little Italian woman. “Thank you. 

Antonietta released the hug and placed both hands on each side of Bette’s face. “You a beautiful girl. You make a someone so happy some day.”

“She already has Mama,” Rosalie whispered.

“Antonio! You come over here and say a goodbye,” Antonietta instructed. “Whats a matter you?”

“Mama, I’m beezy. I got to chop the head off a da lamb.”

“Eeesh! Forgetaboutit.”

“Thank you both for everything. Your hospitality was appreciated.”

“You welcome. You come a back and veesit okay?”

Bette nodded. “Maybe one day.”

Rosalie followed Bette outside to the curb where the bus was parked. Lucia was standing by the vehicle with Angelo, having him help the girls with their luggage.

“I guess this is it.” Bette placed her bags down. 

“I can’t stand this. None of it!” Rosalie teared up. “I don’t want you to go.”

Bette looked over at the bus. “Rosalie, there is a big part of me that would like to stay. But my family…my friends…my life…it is back home.”

Rosalie was disappointed.

“I promise, as soon as I get home I will send you an instant message, and we can talk. I’ll be busy moving into the dorms, but I’ll do my best to be in touch as much as possible.”

“I hope so. I can’t stand the thought of not seeing you. I’m going to work on Papa.”

Bette smiled. She knew Antonio was a stubborn man, and the little she saw, she had felt he wouldn’t easily change a decision he had made. “Don’t let yourself get too disappointed. He seems like he is pretty set in his way.”

“I know…but I love you.”

Bette hugged Rosalie tight, confused about all the things she was feeling at that moment. Some of her emotions made sense, while some other things didn’t. She reached down for her bag and laptop and went to the bus.

Once inside, she took a seat by the window, and stared out at Rosalie who looked so terribly distraught. Her heart ached at the sight of torment and pain this young girl was going through, and it caused Bette to have regrets. She had deep feelings form for Rosalie, and she was confused by some of them. However, she felt responsible for letting things happen, knowing full well that she would be Rosalie’s first love, and would have to leave her. Bette felt a knot grow in her stomach. Once Lucia had joined them inside, the driver shut the door and started the bus. 

Rosalie watched Bette as tears streamed down her eyes. She kissed her hand and blew a kiss to Bette, then whispered the words “I love you” into the air as she watched the bus begin to pass her by. Rosalie stood outside the market until she could no longer see the bus anymore. She kneeled onto the pavement, and cried aloud as some elderly men shook their heads while they passed her by.


	85. Chapter 85

CHAPTER 85

The flight home was a long one. Bette found herself more lonely than before. She had worried so much about how Rosalie was going to cope with her leaving, that she hadn’t given a fair amount of concern to herself. When the sky went dark, she found her thoughts mixed with that homesick type of feeling as she missed Rosalie, to both excitement and anticipation of seeing her friends again. She was trying hard to prepare herself for seeing Tina with another girl. It was difficult to watch her with Johnny, but Bette felt it was going to be a little more challenging to see Tina with a female.

She rested her head against the seat and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would take over.

***************

Tina had thrown some clothes in her duffle bag, in the event she decided to stay overnight at Helena’s place. While she finished getting her things together, her mother came to her room.

“Tina, I’m going to go with your father to the hospital.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. His doctor just wants to run a few tests, where he wasn’t feeling so well the other day, and was short of breath. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Don’t worry.” Catherine noticed Tina’s bag. “Where are you going?”

“I’m packing it just in case I stay over someone’s place. With Bette coming in, we were all going to surprise her at the airport. I’m sure we will want to head somewhere to eat and spend some time together. If it gets too late, I’d rather just stay.”

“Oh…okay. Well be careful. No drinking and driving please.”

“I won’t.”

*************

“Tina’s parents want to meet you mother, why are you being difficult?”

“Helena, it’s crazy for me to be meeting that girls’ parents. You haven’t been dating one another very long, and surely you aren’t getting that serious.”

“That girl has a name, and it’s Tina.” Helena folded her arms, annoyed at her mother’s making light of the relationship she shared with Tina.

“Yes, Tina. It’s too soon to be meeting her parents.”

“Just once it would be nice to have you show a slight bit of interest in my bloody life.” Helena walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, retrieving a bottle of sparkling water.

Peggy looked from the living room towards the kitchen, her eyes peering just above her glasses. “I think you should give it another month. At that time, if you are still together then I will join them for dinner.”

Helena wasn’t impressed. She took her purse and headed for the door. “I’ll be staying at my place this evening…and each evening afterward.”

Peggy rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself.”

*************

Bette was happy to have finally landed on U.S. soil, as it meant she was closer to being back in her normal groove. She had an incredible experience while studying abroad, but at the same time, it was a nice feeling to be back to her home. As she waited to clear customs, the realization that school was around the corner hit her. There was little time to hang out with the gang, before she had to move into her dorm over the weekend. She looked at her watch, knowing that Kit had to have been getting impatient just about now. The flight was a little late, and getting through customs was taking more time than she had expected it to.

*************

“I can’t wait to see her,” Shane said. “I feel like it’s been so long.”

“It has,” Alice added while trying to look past some of the travelers walking towards them. “I was so bad about keeping in touch.”

“You? I was too.” Dana admitted. 

“I was probably the worse one.” Tina felt Helena squeeze her.

“I’ll take full responsibility for your distraction.”

Shane laughed. “Well…at least you’re honest.”

“She had to have felt really bad leaving Rosalie. Have you seen the latest pics on her Myspace page?”

Tina hadn’t checked in the couple of days, but her ears were perked as she listened to Alice.

“I haven’t noticed. What’s on there?” Dana asked.

“It looked like they went on one of those really romantic excursions in a gondola. It was so cute.”

“Those are extremely romantic,” Helena confirmed. She looked towards Tina, “Perhaps we can take in an excursion of our own one day?” 

Tina smiled. “That would be nice.”

“There she is!” Alice exclaimed as she spotted Bette. She started to jump up waving in the air as she tried to get Bette’s attention.

Tina turned her attention from Helena, towards the brunette that was walking towards them. Bette had already begun waving to her friends, who started walking to her. Shane was the first to wrap her arms around Bette and hug her tight. “God I missed you so much.”

Bette smiled as she embraced Shane. “I missed you too. I didn’t realize just how much.”

“Come on, I’m next!” Alice pushed her way in, giving Bette a tight hug. “I can’t wait to hear all about your trip.”

Bette hugged Alice, and as she did, her eyes met Tina’s. Tina waited next to Helena, while Dana and Bette hugged. When they released their embrace, Bette turned towards Tina.

“Hey Tee.”

Tina smiled as she looked down a moment, then back up at Bette. “Hi Bette.”

“You look great.”

“You do too.” Tina took a step forward, meeting Bette halfway as she reached forward to hug her. Both women closed their eyes as they hugged. It was apparent that the embrace they shared was filled with a bond and history which differed from that of the other girls.

Helena started to cough, which prompted Tina to release the hug.

“Oh I’m sorry. Bette this is Helena.” Bette reached forward. “Helena...”

Helena had studied Bette for a little while, from the time Alice first announced she was coming towards them, to this moment when she was inches from her. “Bette, it’s a pleasure.” The discomfort was obvious.

The handshake was light, brief, and for the sole purpose of being cordial. Bette was surprised that Tina was dating someone older. She wasn’t sure just how much older, but it was apparent that Helena was older than them.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Bette certainly was feeling a little strange in the company of Tina’s new girlfriend, but knew that she had to do her best to be kind and respectful. After all, it wasn’t Helena’s fault that they had broken up.

Dana opened one of the glass doors. “Kit is outside with the car.”


	86. Chapter 86

CHAPTER 86

“Okay.”

“Here, let me get your suitcase,” Shane offered.

“Thank you.”

Tina walked beside Bette as they exited the terminal. “I had emailed you a few times…but you hadn’t gotten back to me.”

“I’m sorry Tee. I should have. I let a lot of things slide.”

“That happens when you fall for someone,” Tina replied. Her remark wasn’t a jab, but more of an observation.

“I suppose.”

Tina had noticed the necklace which Bette was wearing. She was sure it wasn’t something she had brought with her to Italy. “Nice necklace.”

Bette placed her hand around the Italian horn. “Yeah…it was a gift.”

“From your friend?”

Helena looked on as Tina showed what she interpreted as jealousy.

“Yes. It was a gift from Rosalie.”

“Will she be coming here?”

“Tina…” Helena interrupted. “I’m not so sure that is anyone’s business.”

Alice, Dana and Shane were all surprised at not only the questions that Tina had started to roll with, but that she was doing it in front of Helena.

“It’s okay,” Bette said softly. “She wanted to come here and study, but it doesn’t look like her father will allow her to.”

“That’s a shame Bette. Maybe one day she might surprise you.” Helena wanted to end the conversation. 

“Maybe.”

“So what are the plans tonight? Are we all going to try to hook up somewhere? We don’t have a lot of time left to do something.” Shane was eager to hang with Bette.

“To be honest, it was a really long flight. If you wouldn’t mind, I think I need to just get home and call it a night. What about tomorrow?”

Shane looked at the girls. “Tomorrow would be fine with me.”

“We don’t have anything going on, do we Dane?”

“No. We’re open.”

Helena was suppose to be in a conference in San Francisco all day. She would be using the private jet to commute back and forth, but wasn’t expected to be back in L.A. until very late. The last thing she wanted, was for Tina to be alone with her ex. 

“Hel?” Tina waited for an answer. “We don’t have anything planned right?”

“I…well…no, no we don’t. Tomorrow will be fine.”

Tina smiled. “Great. We can talk about the details tomorrow, after Bette rests.”

“Thanks guys. I hate to be a party pooper.”

The girls had finally made their way to where Kit was parked. She jumped from her vehicle and grabbed hold of Bette as tears streamed down her face. “Oh god, baby girl I have missed your sweet ass so much! Daddy and Momma have been on edge waiting for you to get in touch with them more often. You were so bad about that ya know.”

“I know. The days just passed by so fast Kit. How mad are they?”

“They aren’t that mad. They just can’t wait to see you. Look at you! You look like you put on a few pounds there girl. Those Italians fed you like a horse didn’t they?”

Bette laughed. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Well, you’ll have to tell us all about it.”

“I will. I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep.”

Shane, Dana and Alice left with Kit and Bette in Kit’s car, while Helena and Tina departed in Helena’s BMW. She beeped the horn as she passed by Bette.

“Jesus. Is that her car?”

Shane peered through the rear view window. “Yep, it sure is. Pretty cool huh?”

“It’s pretty expensive. How old is she?”

“I think she is around twenty-three.”

Kit was excited to hear about Italy. “I had gotten your email about those amazing deserts. Did they have the little espresso shots everywhere there?”

“Yeah…they did. So, what does she do for work?” Bette didn’t take much time steering the discussion back to Helena.

“She works for her mother, who runs the Peabody Foundation,” Alice informed.

“Wow, sounds like a lot of wealth there.”

“I’m sure she isn’t having to wait and save for something she wants.” Shane had hit the nail on the head, in more ways than one.

************

“Why are you so quiet?” Tina asked. “We have been driving for 15 minutes and you haven’t said a word.”

“Quite frankly, I’m a little annoyed.”

Tina reached forward and lowered the radio. “Annoyed? About?”

“You were arse over tit back there.” 

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I heard you, but I don’t know what the fuck that means.”

“It means you were head over heels when you saw her. The jealousy…christ, it was obvious.”

“Are you serious? I wasn’t jealous. I was just asking her questions.”

“That’s hardly accurate Tina.”

“Helena, I was. I haven’t seen her, and I was curious…that’s all.” Tina stared at Helena, awaiting something in return, but instead Helena stared ahead, her focus on the road. Tina slumped back in her seat and folded her arms.

**************

When Bette entered the house, her mother was the first to greet her. “Bette! Oh, I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I’ve missed you too Mom.”

Melvin was the next to cross the threshold from the living room to the kitchen. “Ah my daughter has decided to return from abroad. Hello darling.” Melvin and Bette hugged.

“Hi Dad.”

“Tell us, did you have an enjoyable time?”

“I did. I really had the time of my life. I could never thank you both enough for sending me.”

“Are you hungry dear?”

Bette smiled at her mother. “No Mom. I ate so much when I was in Italy. Those people sure know how to put on a feed.”

“Well, why don’t you get yourself settled, then come downstairs and talk with us for a little while. We are eager to hear about your experience.”

“Okay Mom. I’m going to take a quick shower too.”

“Alright.”

Kit helped Bette up the stairs to her room. “You must be thrilled that you have to go back downstairs and give the rents a full update,” Kit joked.

“Yeah, so happy about it can’t you tell?”

Bette flopped down on top of the bed and sighed as she stared at the ceiling above. Kit placed the laptop bag on the floor by Bette’s dresser and sat next to her. “That was one big sigh.”

Bette remained silent.

“Tell me, was that for the young love you left behind, or the former love that greeted you at the airport?”

Bette turned her head. “What?”

“Come on…I’m your sister.”

“I’m tired, that’s all that was.”

Kit reached for Bette’s hand. “I know it’s hard to watch someone you used to be with, with someone else. Hell I could have ripped Thelma Wilson’s head off when I saw her with Bobby.”

Bette smiled. “I remember. You were so pissed off when she pushed it in your face at the semi-formal.”

“Oh you know it girl. I was ready to whip her sweet ass five blocks down the road to the pizza shop.”

Bette sat up and started to laugh. “Did you still love him, when you saw him with her?”

Kit took a moment to reflect. “Ya know, I’m not sure. I don’t know if it was that I wasn’t over him yet, whether I just felt so damn awkward seeing him with someone, or whether I just wanted to pound Thelma and her train track mouth into next week.”

“That train track mouth ended up providing beautiful teeth later.”

“Yeah, well…that don’t matter, she still as ugly as hell.”

Bette didn’t want to have to talk about Tina, Helena or anything close for that matter. “Well I better get downstairs. You know how impatient Dad can be. I’ll take my shower later.”

“True. Well, I’m going to get going anyway. You call me if you need me okay? I know you’re trying to play it cool and like it doesn’t affect you any…but I know better.” Kit stood from the bed and hugged Bette before heading out.


	87. Chapter 87

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay....two chappies for your greedy lezzies. ;)

CHAPTER 87

Helena and Tina walked through the mall, making a few stops in some of the clothing and shoe stores.

“Lovely boots aren’t they?” Helena observed through the glass window.

“They’re okay.”

“Oh seriously Tina, they scream ‘fuck me’ don’t they?”

“Hel, do you honestly think you need a pair of shoes to get a fuck?” Tina laughed.

Helena smiled at the image. “Of course not, it’s just a saying.”

“I know, but I think it’s funny when you hear someone else saying it. It sort of makes you think they need to make this enormous effort to put it all on, just to be able to find someone who will take it all off.”

Helena liked Tina’s views at times. “I would have to agree with you on that one. Though, the hidden garments are ones I enjoy most.”

Tina arched her brow. “Care to explain?”

“Oh, I think you know what I mean Tina. Victoria Secret seems to have that concept down pat.”

Tina offered a soft chuckle. “Uh huh…speaking of, we should take a look at what they have.”

“I’m so there,” Helena replied as they walked towards the far end of the mall.

***************

After spending some time with her parents, explaining most of her trip, and leaving out the details about Rosalie, Bette was exhausted. She closed the door to her room, and lay on the bed before retrieving her laptop and powering it on, the shower will have to wait until morning. It was 945pm in California, and 345am in Italy. Surely Rosalie was fast asleep, but Bette wanted to at least leave a message on her Nyspace page, and maybe even an email.

***************

“They are still in love with each other.” Alice took another bite into the apple she had been eating.

“I don’t know,” Dana said. “I’d say it seemed awkward, that’s for sure.”

“Shane? Your thoughts?”

Shane had finished sending a text message to Jill. “Yeah, I…what were you saying?”

Dana cracked up laughing. “Good god, who are you texting with now?”

“Jill.”

“Jill! Don’t tell me you are trying to get back together,” Alice warned. “That girl used you and abused you. Let it go. Nothing good can come of it.”

“Maybe not, but…I’m meeting up with her before I leave for school this weekend.” Shane grinned and winked at her friends.

“Don’t you ever want to find that one girl who makes you feel whole?” Alice asked.

Shane didn’t answer, instead she smiled at the text she had received back. “Uh…yeah. Sure. One day.”

“You aren’t even listening.”

“I am Al. I just don’t put a lot of weight on being with one person like that. I like my life the way it is.”

Dana looked at Alice and shrugged.

***************

“That is going to look exceptionally hot on you,” Helena stated as they walked out of the mall to her car.

“I sure hope so. That’s the idea isn’t it Hel?” Tina snaked her fingers through Helena’s, following the rather large purchase that Helena had made at the lingerie store.

“It is.” Helena opened the car door for Tina. “ It’s a shame that it won’t be staying on you for very long though. You will have to force me to lay patiently on the bed as you model each one for me.”

Tina hesitated before lowering herself into the passenger seat. She brought her lips to Helena’s ear and whispered, “I’ll tie you down.” After watching Helena’s brow raise up, she slid onto the passenger seat and waited for Helena to close the door.

*******************

When Bette logged onto her Myspace page, she noticed that Rosalie’s page indicated that she was “online.” Bette tried to reason why her page would show that, it was the wee hours of the morning there. She scrolled down her own page and found three messages from Rosalie, indicating that she missed her and that she loved her. Bette noticed that the last message had come in only thirty minutes earlier. She started to type a message in Yahoo.

BP: u there

Bette waited a second, and didn’t see the icon indicating that Rosalie was typing.

BP: guess not. Must b sleeping. I miss u. I’m real tired so I’m going 2 go 2 bed. 

Before Bette could finish what she was going to say, Rosalie had started typing.

RO: HI!  I miss u so much Bette.

BP: oh hi what r u doing up?

RO: couldn’t sleep

BP: I hope I can. I feel very tired, but don’t know if I can sleep.

RO: how was the plane ride?

BP: long and boring

RO: I’m sure

BP: what did u do today?

Rosalie hesitated.

BP: Ro?

RO: I’m here. I had a hard day. I was crying.

Bette could feel the sadness in the words she was reading, without seeing Rosalie actually admit to it.

BP: I’m sorry Ro. I wish I could do something.

RO: I want 2 come there.

BP: I know u do. But your dad wont let u

RO: I don’t care. I’ll run away.

BP: U can’t. U need a passport. It’s not that simple.

Bette stayed up longer than she should have, trying hard to ease Rosalie’s pain. She felt extremely connected to this young girl, but as a young lady who was more a realist, than some, she understood that their relationship would be nearly impossible to continue with. Not to mention, she wouldn’t want to have her move to the U.S. while she was still so uncertain of her feelings. Those were feelings she wasn’t prepared to admit to anyone, and at times….not even herself.


	88. Chapter 88

CHAPTER 88

****************  
FRIDAY**

“So what club are we all going to hang out at tonight?” Alice asked while Shane pulled into a corner space at Point Rock.

“I don’t know, where do you want to go?”

“It stinks we can’t get served at the clubs,” Alice complained. “Maybe we could see if Helena will buy for us, and hang out here or at your pad.”

Shane reached into the glove box and took out a joint. Before offering her input, she lit the end and took a hit. “I….I don’t care what we do.” Shane coughed as she exhaled the rest of the smoke.

“Don’t be greedy, give me some of that.” 

Shane handed Alice the joint, carefully looking around to be sure there weren’t any cops in the area. Outside of a few cars, the customary lover’s lot was mostly empty.

“You suppose Bette fucked that Italian girl when she was out there?” Alice asked, just before taking one more hit and handing the joint back to Shane.

“Hell yeah, who wouldn’t have? She was a babe.”

Alice slipped her sandals off and put her feet outside the window of the car. “I can’t believe that this time tomorrow, we will be moving into our dorms.”

“It’s crazy shit.”

“It is. Can you believe it Shane? I mean college!”

“I feel cheated by the fact we didn’t get to hang with Bette at all this summer.”

“I know.” Alice rolled the bottom of her capri’s up, to expose more of her legs to the sun. “It does suck. I don’t think she would have gone on that summer program with the school if she and Tina were still together.”

“Yeah, I kinda doubt she would have too.”

“I’m so happy that Dana and I will be at the same school. I couldn’t imagine having to move and separate from her all in the same weekend.”

Shane took the last hit, and threw the small end that was left onto the ground outside the car. “You better make sure you prepare for the fact that she will be sharing a dorm with another girl.”

“Why must you have to keep reminding me of that?”

“Because I know you. You’ll fuck things up for both of you with your jealousy if you don’t get your head wrapped around it now.”

Alice started sulking at the simple thought of Dana sharing sleeping quarters with another girl.

**************************  
HELENA’S APARTMENT**

Tina straddled Helena while the brit kept two fingers inside of her. She rode Helena’s hand, holding onto the back of the headboard as she felt herself beginning to climax. “Ohhh…fu…fuck…fa…fas…ter,” Tina pleaded.

“Don’t forget how bloody good this is,” Helena stated as she felt Tina’s insides tighten around her fingers. “You can have this every weekend if you want it.”

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh…” Tina screamed out as she came. She leaned her upper body down onto Helena’s as the sweat caused her skin to feel sticky. “Fuck…that…I…” Tina stopped talking as she rolled onto her back.

Helena smiled at the face of satisfaction that was staring back at her. “I guess I don’t have to ask you how good that was.”

Tina slid her hand behind Helena’s neck and pulled her to her. “You’re an incredibly delicious lover.” She pressed her lips against Helena’s, tasting remnants of herself upon the brunette’s lips. There could be no lies as to where the brit had been a few moments earlier, for the proof would remain present until she showered.

“I have to admit, I was really happy when you called and said you didn’t have to go to San Francisco earlier today. Are we going to meet up with the girls?”

“Is your ex going to be there?” Helena was a very secure woman, and though she didn’t feel threatened by Bette, she didn’t wish to spend a Friday evening watching any part of the history both shared.

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“I’d rather not force myself to watch any potential attempt at rekindling something between you two.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re jealous?” Tina questioned as she traced the brunette’s nipple with her fingernail.

“No of course I’m not jealous. I am far better looking than she, and I have a purse filled with money.”

“Money isn’t everything Helena.”

“I know this, but it is powerful Tina. Without it, your options in life can be quite limited.”

“You can’t buy love,” Tina said as she watched Helena’s nipple grow hard.

“Can’t you?”

Tina arched one of her brows. “I don’t feel you can.”

“You’re quite young Tina. You have a lot to learn.” Helena pushed Tina’s hand from her chest and stood from the bed. 

“What’s wrong?” Tina asked, confused by Helena’s sudden change in behavior.

Helena walked over to her dresser where she started retrieving the clothes she would wear following her shower. “Nothing. I just hope you don’t make me regret going this evening.”

Tina sat up in bed. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I mean, let’s just remember who you are going with, and who you are expected to leave with later.” 

“Helena, why do you feel so threatened?”

Helena forced a fake laugh. “I’m far from feeling threatened Tina. However, I’m a highly intuitive woman, and from what I was able to see at the airport when your former lover arrived home…it’s a cause for some concern.” Helena walked from the bedroom into the shower.

Tina rolled her eyes and dropped back onto the mattress. She stared at the ceiling, wondering how such a strong woman could have concerns like she did…not to mention the insinuation about what happened at the airport the night before.


	89. Chapter 89

CHAPTER 89

**************

Helena passed by some fairly dilapidated buildings. “Why on earth did your friends wish to meet in these slums?”

“It’s not the slums, it’s where Shane has a place that she has been staying for the summer. It’s a small place, but there isn’t too many places we could drink.”

“Yes, the thought of fine wine in a place like…like this is just sinful. Why don’t we just invite them to my place? There would be a generous amount of room for everyone.”

“Because we are here now. Come on Hel, try to have fun.” Tina noticed an available parking space near the front of Shane’s building. “You can park over there.”

When Helena exited the car, she was certain to set the alarm. “Bloody thieves won’t get this baby without going deaf doing so.”

“Will you stop. It’s not a bad area at all.”

“You could have fooled me Tina.”

Tina took a deep breath, hoping that Helena would loosen up before she went inside. As they started walking up the stairs, Tina stopped and turned to the brit. “Please try to get along with them. This may be the last time we will all see each other together before we move to school tomorrow.”

Before Helena could answer, the door to Shane’s apartment opened, and Alice stumbled out into the hall laughing hysterically. She glanced down the stairs finding Tina and Helena making their way up. “Hey you, it’s about time you both showed up.” Alice sipped the beer that she had been careful not to spill when she staggered out into the hall. 

As the music echoed in the bare hall, Tina knew it was going to be an eventful night for all. “We aren’t that late.”

“Well everyone else is here.” Alice looked at Helena from head to toe as she walked by her. “Nice perfume.”

Helena glanced back at Alice without saying a word.

When Tina stepped inside Shane’ apartment, her eyes immediately located Bette, who was sitting on the sofa next to Dana. Bette turned to look at them when she heard Shane say hello.

“Is this going to be a little weird or what?” Dana whispered to Bette.

“Probably,” Bette replied back. 

Helena eyed Bette up and down. In her mind, she admitted that the dark haired girl was looking rather attractive, but wouldn’t dare outwardly admit such a thing.

“Hey,” Tina said to Bette as she looked around for an available seat.

“Hey.” Bette said towards them both.

“Sorry, hope you don’t mind just chilling out on the floor. I sold mostly everything I wasn’t going to bring to school with me,” Shane explained.

“The floor?” Helena questioned. “No thank you.”

“Hel,” Tina said softly as she arched a brow at her. 

“I’m sorry Tina, a good host would…”

Tina grabbed Helena by the wrist and walked back towards the door they had just entered. Alice excused herself as they passed by her.. Bette smiled, amused at how sterile the brit was.

*****************  
OUTSIDE HALL**

“What are you doing?”

“That is gross, I’m sorry Tina but I’m not going to sit down on some filth ridden floor that god only knows what has walked it.”

“Helena, why can’t you just lighten up? If you do, you might find that you can have a good time.”

Helena folded her arms and looked at the walls around her. “The dirt on these walls are disgusting.”

Tina rolled her eyes as she placed her hand through her blonde hair. “If you were going to evaluate every damn thing about my friends, where they live, and the fact they don’t live high and proud like you, then why did you even bother coming tonight?”

Helena remained silent as Tina continued.

“Do you have any idea how hard things have been for Shane? She doesn’t have a mother that can just hand her everything she wants…”

Helena interrupted. “Mummy has not handed me everything, I work for it as well.”

“Oh, that’s right…I forgot that you have a plush job thanks to your mother.”

Helena arched a brow. “I’m not pleased with your behavior Tina.”

“What are you pleased with Helena? Does anything really please you? Do you find any happiness in the simple things in life?”

***************  
MEANWHILE**

“We honestly shouldn’t be listening,” Dana suggested.

“Why not? If they didn’t want us to listen, they wouldn’t be so loud.” Alice always tried to come across as a voice of reason, but it generally was driven by her own need to be nosey.

“Anyone want another beer?” Shane asked.

“I’ll take another one,” Bette replied. 

“So Bette, tell us about that Italian girl, Rosanne.” Alice sat on the floor next to Bette’s legs. 

“Her name is Rosalie, and what’s to tell really?”

*****************  
HALLWAY**

“Look, I’m not going to fight with you. If you can’t make an effort to accept my friends, on this last night that we will be together then…”

“Then what?” Helena shot back.

“Then…” Tina felt her temper rising even further. She was not happy that Helena couldn’t put her biases and flashy lifestyle aside for one evening so she could enjoy the time with her friends. “Then I can get a ride home from one of the girls, and you don’t have to stay.”

“Do you think I’m bloody stupid? I’m not leaving you at this party where you and your ex are consuming alcohol. In no time you’ll find yourselves getting chummy once again, and lord knows what would happen.”

“I am NOT in love with my ex okay?” Tina shouted, a little louder than she may have realized, for inside the apartment her words were heard loud and clear.


	90. Chapter 90

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters posted...Happy Saturday!

************

“Wow, that was crazy!” Alice shared. “There must be some issues going on with them two.”

“It’s not our business Al.” Bette wasn’t comfortable with the revelation that the former relationship she and Tina shared, was causing discontent in her current relationship. “This probably wasn’t a good idea for us to be here together.” Bette started to get up from the sofa.

“Where are you going?” Shane asked as she changed the station on the radio.

“I’m going to go home.”

“Why?” Shane placed her beer down on the counter. “That’s bullshit. You’re welcome here as much as anyone else…maybe even more.”

“Shane,” Bette warned. “Don’t. I don’t want any one of you taking sides. Things ended, and we are both trying to get comfortable with that. Come on…just…just let it go okay?”

“Bette, you can’t leave now. You just drank a beer.” Dana was usually the more careful of them all, so it wasn’t unusual that she bring this to Bette’s attention.

“I’m fine…honestly. I only drank half of that anyway.” 

“Just hang with us a little longer.” Dana pleaded.

Bette took her keys from the pocket of her jeans, then headed towards the door. “I’ll talk to you guys later.”

When Bette walked into the hall, she expected to have to pass by Helena and Tina. To her surprise, Tina was the only one there. She was sitting on the top step with her forehead resting on her arms. 

Bette hesitated a moment before talking. “Where’s Helena?”

Tina looked up, hearing that familiar voice she had missed quite a bit over the summer. “She had to go.”

“Oh…sorry to hear that.” Bette twirled her car keys around her finger. “I was actually heading out myself.”

“Where are you going?”

“I think I’m just going to head home. It will be a busy day tomorrow.”

“Why are you leaving?” Tina inquired. “Didn’t you just get here?”

Bette looked at her watch. “About forty-five minutes ago.”

Tina knew Bette well, and she wasn’t one to be in the company of her friends for less than an hour the night before everyone was going to be leaving for college, and just decide to go home. “Bette…look at me.”

Bette looked down at the blonde, whose eyes now met her own. They both stared at one another before either one said a thing. It was one of those moments, where the conversation desired remains locked in the walls of ones mind, but it’s there…it’s there for the taking if you are intuitive enough to hear it.

“Please stay.” Tina’s eyes didn’t move from her intended target. “I don’t care about all the why’s of anything, I just know that tomorrow we are all going to school and some of us won’t be nearby.”

“I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you…and your girlfriend.” The admission was painful for Bette. It surprised her that she felt the discomfort she did. Italy allowed some geographical distance, but in Tina’s presence it was clear that her heart couldn’t create the distance it would need to heal completely.

Tina looked at the stairs. “You weren’t making anything difficult. She is just…well she isn’t used to stuff like this.”

Bette took a seat next to Tina on the stairs. “Like what?”

“She drives a BMW Bette. She shops at some of the best boutiques in L.A. I know that a big part of her career is driven by having that high class presence, but at what cost? I mean…” Tina stopped talking, she didn’t want to speak solely from the bitter feelings she was feeling at the moment. “Never mind…”

“No…please…tell me.”

Tina waited a few minutes before continuing. “Bette, there are times I just want to see her in an old pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt. There’s times I want to take a spoonful of whipped cream and pull the spoon back, just to deliver some whipped cream onto her face…you know, just to loosen up and have fun. She can be so fucking stiff sometimes. I know that her mother has a lot of expectations, and some things are harder to change than others.”

“You can’t change who she is.”

“I’m not trying to change her Bette. For the most part I can put up with some of the anal things…well some are kind of cute, like when she refuses to use a hand towel more than once. I try to tell her that when she uses it, it is clean hands she is wiping on the towel…” Tina chuckled at the thought. “So you see, she does have a lot of cute ways about her.”

It was hard for Bette to hear Tina talk about another woman. As hard as it was when Tina had dated Johnny, she at least knew that being left for a man was something she couldn’t compete with. Now that Tina was with a woman, it was a hard discussion to have.

“Anyway…tell me about Italy. Did you have a good time?”

Bette welcomed the topic change. “It was absolutely beautiful.”

“I wondered if you would have tried to stay there for school.”

Bette shifted on the step, turning so her back was now against the wall. “It really was a nice place, but I’m not sure I would have stayed to go to school there.”

Tina was curious about Rosalie. She knew that Bette’s love life wasn’t really any of her business, but it was hard to ignore the questions that were plaguing her mind. She wondered why those thoughts were even surfacing. “So…um…I had seen your myspace page.”

Bette didn’t say a word.

“It’s okay ya know.”

“What is?”

“That you were crushing on that girl.”

“It…well it wasn’t so much a crush…it…”

“Bette, it’s fine.”

Bette felt somewhat sad that it was fine with Tina. In Tina’s presence, her feelings were confused and blended at times. There were moments that she bounced between accepting that Tina was now a part of her romantic past, and struggling with the desire to rekindle things once again. “Yeah, well…she was my roommate she was really nice.”

“She’s pretty.”

“Yeah, she was really nice. Her parents are really those old world Italians. I was afraid of her Papa at first, but then I got used to him.”

“Yeah? So tell me, is she a lesbian or is she straight?”

“I honestly don’t know for sure. She could be bisexual.”

“I thought you didn’t like that idea of people being bisexual?” Tina asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You used to say that bisexuals just didn’t want to pick the harder road of saying that they are homosexuals, so they hide behind that label.”

“Well, I guess I must have grown, because I suppose I understand it more.”

“Did you have sex with her?” Tina realized as soon as she asked, that it was stepping over the line completely. However intrusive it was, there was a part of her that wanted an answer.


	91. Chapter 91

CHAPTER 91

***************

Bette was surprised by the question. She wondered why a question like that would even be posed to her, considering that Tina had made it clear to Helena only a short time ago, that she wasn’t in love with her ex.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t cool for me to ask that.” Tina searched Bette’s eyes for an answer. If there was anyone who could read them well, it was Tina. 

“No…it…it’s just...” Bette was uncomfortable. In some way, she felt she needed to answer it, but there was a more powerful feeling which said it was none of her business.

“I know the answer Bette. You don’t have to say anything.” Tina’s radar was working. It was in the brunettes eyes. It was one of the strangest things between them, but their eyes often spoke a language that was foreign to anyone else either of them had been with.

“Why do I feel like it wasn’t okay?” Bette asked as she thought about Italy.

“I don’t know. Were you drunk?”

“No…no we weren’t.” Bette knew that she surrendered to Rosalie as a reaction. She had learned of Helena from Tina’s myspace page, and it prompted a reaction she hadn’t anticipated. Rosalie was a beautiful girl, but Bette’s heart wasn’t into the experience. It was just sex, nothing more.

“Do you regret having sex with her?”

Bette was silent as she gave the question some thought. “I wouldn’t use the word regret. I just…it was a strange situation that’s all.”

“Yeah…well I understand that feeling.”

Bette looked at Tina. There was no language barrier, for the eyes were having their own conversation. “Are you happy with Helena?”

Tina played with the thumb ring she was wearing. “We have a good time for the most part…except for tonight. She was pretty stressed this evening.”

“Yeah, it sounded it.”

Tina was surprised. “You heard us?”

Bette nodded.

Tina put her hand through her hair. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay. Do you think none of us in there have had issues in our relationships?”

“I know, it’s just…fuck. It’s embarrassing Bette.”

“It’s fine Tee.”

Suddenly Tina remembered the last words to Helena. She closed her eyes tight, wishing the words hadn’t been said, but they had been. She opened them to find Bette staring at her. “When I said I wasn’t in love with my ex, it was because…”

Bette interrupted, “You don’t have to explain.”

“No, I do. It’s just that she has been so bent about you.”

Bette was surprised by the admission. “She is? Why?”

“I wish I knew the answer completely. It baffles me because she tends to be a pretty strong person. She has a great job, is nice looking, but…she just feels threatened for some reason.”

Bette tried to understand it, but it was difficult to comprehend. She would have never perceived any insecurities regarding Helena, and certainly not ones that she was a part of. “I never would have imagined she felt that way.”

“Yeah, well I’m don’t trying to figure it all out. You and I haven’t even been in touch, so I don’t understand where she gets that impression from. She needs to get over it once and for all.”

Bette was surprised at Tina’s bold and firm stance. “You realize that if you don’t try to understand it, it could make things pretty hard between you both.”

“Actually…right now I’m more upset that you heard those words. It’s not that I don’t care about you, I do…a lot. I always will. You can’t just shut your feelings off if you have genuinely loved someone.”

Bette was confused. “But…you had said…”

Tina quickly interrupted. “I know what I said. I said I am not in love with you, in the romantic sense. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you at all.”

Bette turned quiet. She wasn’t sure if she should feel relieved or not. She had worked so hard on burying the past she had shared with Tina, that it was hard to know what to feel or say. Tina was surprised by the lack of acknowledgement from Bette. 

“….I would hope that there remains something similar…in your heart.”

Bette wasn’t willing to share the struggle she still faced in terms of their breakup. 

Tina was worried at Bette’s lack of agreement. “….or…maybe not.”

“Hey, you’re both still here…cool.” Shane was surprised to see Bette and Tina in the hall. “I’ll be back, I have to meet someone around the block. There’s plenty of beer inside…why don’t you both go grab one?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Tina muttered, reeling from the fact that Bette may have lost most of the feelings she once had for her. 

“Cool, I’ll be back.” Shane stepped over Bette’s legs and started down the stairs.

Bette looked at Tina who was staring at the door that Shane had just exited through. “It isn’t that I don’t feel anything for you. It’s that…you broke my heart Tina. I loved you with everything that I had in me. I wasn’t the one to say that I needed to figure out if I was gay, or break under the pressure of my father not accepting my sexuality. I was in it one hundred percent.”

Tina looked at Bette, not helping the memories that started to fill her mind. “I know. I know you were.”

“I was in high school Tee, with a lot of girls wanting to fuck around. I could have taken any one of them up on it, but I didn’t.”

Tina silently listened as Bette explained the difficulties she had faced when they broke up, and just how broken her heart had become. She had gotten far enough into sharing her feelings, that she shared the rest completely; how she felt about seeing Helena on her myspace page, what the sexual experience with Rosalie was all about, and how she was now untrusting of her own ability to trust girls and to give of herself to the completely.

“I’m sorry Bette. It was never my intention to hurt you…not ever. This past year has been so hard for me in terms of my family, and what they had expected. My mother was my angel, because she offered me understanding and shared something with me from her past that was really hard for her to do. The therapy I have been in has been extremely draining, because I have had to face my sexual abuse head on. It hasn’t been easy, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you in the process.”

“Why are you with Helena?” Bette couldn’t help but try to figure out what it was that Helena had which attracted Tina.

“I care about her.”

“Are you in love with her?”

“I love her.”

Bette was persistent. “Are you “in” love with her…there’s a difference Tina.”

“I know there’s a difference Bette. I don’t believe in those fairy tails which make you fall in love at first sight. I think falling in love happens over time.”

Bette had her answer. Tina wasn’t in love with Helena. The question remained, why were they together if Tina wasn’t in love with her?

“Were you in love with me?”

Tina nervously twisted her thumb ring again. “What was had was different…”

“Different?”

“Yes…it was beautiful.”

In the secret and safe corner of Tina Kennard’s heart, she knew Bette was her only love. She also was aware that she had messed things up beyond repair, and doubted there would ever be a chance to reconcile the mistakes of the past to give it another shot. She was afraid to admit how much she still loved Bette…not to Helena, not to her friends, and not to Bette Porter herself.

What Bette needed was that whole hearted admission that Tina was not only in love with her then, but now too. She wasn’t sure what the honesty would have brought, for she was protecting her heart more now than ever before, but it would have provided some consolation that Tina’s love was genuine.

“Let’s get a beer.” Tina stood and went inside, where Dana and Alice were getting cozy on the sofa. “Hey, be careful, you might hurt my virgin eyes,” she joked.

Tina retrieved two bottles of beer and handed one to Bette.

“Thanks.” Bette took a seat on the floor, while Tina sat nearby.

“Where’s Helena?” Dana asked.

“She left. She needs an early night.”

“It’s Friday,” Alice noted. “Why an early night?”

“Al, just leave it alone. I’d rather just be with you girls tonight anyway.” Tina took a sip of her beer. “As a matter of fact, I plan on getting completely trashed and making this last night a memorable one.” Tina glanced over at Bette.


	92. Chapter 92

**CHAPTER 92**  
*************

Alice and Dana looked at one another. The insinuation was open to interpretation for sure. 

Bette watched as her ex started to fulfill her evening goals. Once Shane returned, she had brought a few which the gang knew, and a couple who they weren’t familiar with at all. “I have more beer!”

“Good, because Tee is putting them down faster than we can keep up,” Alice complained. 

“Oh well looks like someone might be having to stay over tonight.” Shane added.

“Who me?” I’m fine…and…” Tina stood up from the floor. “I’ll show you just how much.” Tina started moving her body to the music, which caught the attention of quite a few of the girls, including Bette.

“Who’s that chick?” one asked.

“It’s Shane’s friend,” another replied.

“She’s hot.”

“I don’t think she’s available. I think she’s still with Bette,” Jill replied.

“That sucks.”

While Tina began moving her hips and body to a hot number by the Pussycat Dolls, she started garnering a lot of attention in the room. Her hands slid up and down the sides of her body as she stumbled here and there, being sure not to lose her balance when she took a sip of beer every now and then. “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me….”

Bette stood up from the floor and placed her hand on Tina’s back. “Hey Tee…why don’t we…”

“Bette! Hey baby…you want to dance with me?” Tina turned and slid her hands on both sides of Bette. “We used to dance a lot remember?”

“Uhm…yes. I do.” Bette found it incredibly hard to resist the temptation before her. Tina wasn’t terribly intoxicated, but plenty enough to let down her guard. The more open she started to be about their past, the harder it was for Bette. 

Tina brought her head towards Bette shoulder and rested it there. “Mmm…I miss your scent…you smell so good.”

Bette closed her eyes. “Tee…” She was stunned when she felt the blonde’s tongue sweep across her neck. Instinct caused her to pull back quickly. “Tee…why don’t we sit on the stairs in the hall.”

“I don’t want to…I want to dance. Don’t you want to dance with me babe?”

“How many did she have?” Shane asked Alice.

“I lost count. She’s definitely not driving anywhere tonight.”

“Well Helena drove anyway,” Dana pointed out. “I can probably drive her home. I only had a couple of beers earlier.”

“We should let Bette drive her. They can have one final romp before we all begin college life.” Alice wasn’t shy about sharing what she thought should happen.

“You know, sometimes you scare me.” Dana folded her arms. “You can be so unethical sometimes.”

“Huh?”

“Well come one Al, she is with Helena. It would be nice if someone could commit to one person and stay that way. It just seems like everyone is fucking everyone.”

“Like who?”

“Come on, you know as well as I know, either people are with fucking more than one person, or they are recycling the old ones. Look at Shane over there. Wasn’t she all done with Jill?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“My point exactly.”

“Oh will you lighten up. We are suppose to be fucking like rabbits at this age. Once we get older, we won’t be wanting it so much.”

“Doubt that.”

Bette was able to bring Tina out into the hall. “It’s too quiet out here,” Tina noted.

“Yeah. A lot of music and people inside. Tina, I don’t think you should drink anymore tonight.”

Tina smirked while Bette helped her sit on the top step. “Why is that?”

“Because you have already had more than enough.”

“So. That’s what tonight is all about baby. We are suppose to get lit and make some final memories.”

“Nothing needs to be considered final. We will only be an hour away from each other in school. Plus, we can still have fun without getting drunk.”

“I like to drink.”

“I do too. I just…”

“Why don’t you tie one on with me?”

Bette knew it wouldn’t be wise for her to continue drinking, as she might not have the ability to resist Tina if she loosened up. It was hard now, and she was still sober. “No, I can’t do that. I…I have to be up really early tomorrow morning.”

Tina started feeling melancholy about Bette being so far away from her. “I really hate that you will be an hour or more away.”

“We’ll probably hook up every now and then. I’m sure of it.”

Tina chuckled. 

“What?”

“You…when you said we will probably hook up.” Tina looked at Bette. She felt herself wanting to kiss her. It wasn’t unusual for Tina to feel horny when she drank, but the combination of booze and Bette Porter was a force to reckon with. “I miss you.”

Bette licked her dry lips. “You’re drunk.”

“I might be feeling a little good, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel things. When I say that I miss you…I do.”

“Tee...getting drunk and feeling things seems to be a familiar road with us.”

“I can’t help how I feel. Don’t you feel anything anymore?”


	93. Chapter 93

Bette didn’t want to be honest. She saw no possibility of them ever reconciling. For one, Tina had broken her heart. She never witnessed Tina make any attempt to get back together. Instead, her energy was focused on getting it on with Johnny or going back to girls by dating Helena. “I don’t know what I’m suppose to say to you Tina.”

Tina placed her hand on the top of Bette’s leg. “That you still feel something between us.”

Bette reached down and removed Tina’s hand from her. “Tee…you are with Helena.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“Love doesn’t mean that we have something going between us either.”

Tina looked at Bette with eyes that were filled with young desire. “I miss you. It…it’s just not the same.”

“What isn’t?”

Tina looked away as tears started to come. “I’ve been trying to find something that comes close…but it isn’t close…not at all.”

Bette’s brows turned up. “Why then? Why are you with her?”

“Because it feels good. It just feels good to have someone want me. The attention is amazing, and…it’s what I needed after I was so fucking confused over everything.”

“But there’s more to a relationship, a lot more.”

“No shit, why do you think I’m sitting here wishing I could go back?” Tina didn’t have enough of her senses to realize she was offering too much.

“Go back to what? You left me to go out with a loser. I mean, if it had to be a guy you could have chosen a better prick than him.” Bette’s anger, which she kept within for a good part of the time she and Tina had been apart, was surfacing..

“Geez…that wasn’t nice.” Tina hesitated a moment. “…but…he really was a prick.”

Bette was getting a little perturbed by Tina’s lack of responsibility. “Tee, he wasn’t alone in it.”

“What are you saying?”

***************  
INSIDE

“Shane, is Bette with Tina or not?” Jill had her hands wrapped around Shane’s waist while they stood off to the side. 

“Fuck no. Tina is seeing someone.”

“I thought they had gotten back together?” 

“No way. Bette isn’t stupid enough to let that happen again. Those two are just better off friends.”

“Jan likes her.”

Shane looked over at Jan, one of Jill’s friends that she hadn’t ever met before. She was a slender girl with light brown hair, and caramel brown eyes. “Yeah? Well maybe I should introduce them.”

“Would you?”

“Why not? There’s only tonight…then tomorrow we are all off to school.”

“That’s right, only tonight.” Jill brought her lips to Shane’s, then quickly filled her mouth with her tongue.

***************  
THE HALLWAY

“Well, I mean he was your experiment. Were you honest with him? Did you tell him that you were using him as your sample to see if you were really a lesbian or not?”

Tina felt a twinge from that shot. “Bette, that wasn’t the only reason.”

“Come on, it sure was. Daddy Kennard didn’t want you to be with a woman, cause lord knows that would have ruined the wonderful reputation the Kennard’s have in the community.”

Tina didn’t like how condescending Bette’s words were. “Why are you being an asshole?”

“I’m not. I’m sitting here…struggling okay? I’m struggling Tina, to do the right thing.”

“And what would that be?”

“Not let my heart be broken…twice.”

Tina didn’t want to break Bette’s heart. She wanted yesterday. She wanted a second chance. However, she also knew that with Helena in the picture, things were far more complicated. “I wish we could just try…I want to try again.”

“I…I can’t. Tina I can’t. I don’t think you know what you want. What if we got back together, and three or six months down the road you decide you want to try again with Helena?”

“I do know what I want.”

“Yeah? Is that why when you were sober you admitted you were not in love with your ex? Is that why when I was away, you clearly moved on by deciding to see Helena? I’m sorry but you have a strange way of showing someone you want a second chance with them.”

“What the fuck?”

“I don’t want to fight. I just have some…”

“Anger?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Bette, you have every right to be pissed off at me…every right. Don’t you believe in forgiveness?”

Bette shook her head in disbelief. “Of course I do. I was close to trying once again when we had sex on a whim. I can’t do it. I can’t give you that piece of myself anymore until I know you are damn sure of what you want…and even then, I still don’t know I really could bring you back in my life where you once were.”

Bette stood up and returned to the party.


	94. Chapter 94

CHAPTER 94   
Once inside, Bette grabbed a beer and went to the bedroom which was now empty of most furniture, except for an old table by the window that had already been there when Shane rented the apartment. She sat on the edge of the table with her legs draped over the side, and stared out the window to the street below. 

After about fifteen minutes, she noticed Tina standing next to the telephone pole talking on her cell phone. She sipped her beer, staring down at the girl who still held a significant place in her heart. She knew that college would eventually force her to date other girls, but there was no love like your first real love, no matter how old you were when it came. She knew it was healthy to date and not settle too quickly, for she didn’t want to one day look back and wonder what it would have felt like have experienced other relationships. In her heart, she knew this was the one she had wanted to last a lifetime, but she was a realist who believed in life, you don’t always get what you want.

When the black BMW pulled up to the sidewalk, Bette stumbled from the trance she had drifted off in. She watched as Helena exited the car and stood in front of Tina, both conversing at first, which followed with an embrace and ending in a kiss. Bette took a large sip of beer and watched on as the two seemed to dismiss whatever disagreement they had earlier. As the black BMW made it’s way down the street, Bette wasn’t sure if and when their paths would ever cross again. Life had a way of moving things along, and forcing people to get comfortable in wherever they are. 

“Hey there.” The voice in the room startled Bette. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

“It’s okay.”

The girl leaned back against the window frame. “I’m Jan.”

Bette glanced outside the window as she took a sip of her beer. “I’m Bette.”

“I know.”

Bette’s eyes moved from the homeless man who was peering into a trash bin back to Jan. “I’m not sure I know you.”

“I don’t know you either,” Jan chuckled.

“Then how…”

“My friend Jill asked Shane who you were.”

“Jill knows me though.”

Jan brushed her hair from her face as she became nervous. “I’m messing this up. It wasn’t so much asking her who you were, but ….well…if you were seeing someone. I know…stupid. I didn’t think I was going to trip over my feet like that.”

“It’s okay, don’t feel stupid.”

“What are you doing in here? Isn’t this the last time to be with your friends?”

“I just needed a little quiet time, that’s all.”

“Oh…I didn’t know.” Jan turned to leave.

“No…it’s alright.”

”Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Jan looked out the window, noticing the homeless man who now appeared to be sampling something from the trash. “That really irks me.”

Bette looked out the window, gauging from Jan’s eyes it was apparent she was referring to the unfortunate man. “Sad isn’t it?”

“It sure is. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a veteran. It’s so upsetting to see how our country has failed to take care of them appropriately. They risked their lives for all of us…including those in positions to make sure they are properly taken care of.”

“Don’t get me started on politics.”

“Do you stay current with a lot of things?”

“I do. I usually get really passionate about it too, which isn’t always good.”

“Showing passion and drive is a great quality in a person.”

Bette expressed an unassuming sigh. “Maybe.”

*****************  
IN HELENA’S CAR

“Why did you drink so much?” Helena inquired.

“I don’t want a lecture Helena.”

“I’m not giving you a lecture Tina. I’m wondering why you felt it was necessary to load yourself up with booze?”

Tina shook her head before resting it against her hand. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Helena was reaching for some understanding. It hadn’t been that long since she had left the party, and Tina hadn’t even started drinking at that point. She knew Tina must have been drinking pretty fast in order to be this drunk so soon. She pulled the car over to the side of the road.

“Why are we stopping?”

“Because, I would like an honest answer. Why did you get so trashed?”

Tina twisted her brows in disbelief. “Why do you need to interrogate me? I was at a party with my friends okay? Alcohol happens.”

“Give me some bloody credit Tina. You didn’t stay very long at a party which is suppose to be the last time you see some of them for a little while. You cut the night short, and go out on a bender to boot.”

“You’re not my mother. I don’t need it okay?”

“I’m not trying to be. I’m trying to get you.”

Tina remained quiet.

“Does it have something to do with your ex?”

“No!” Tina shot back.

“Rather passionate response. I’m not certain I believe you.”

“I don’t care if you believe me or not.” Tina’s response was cold and distant.

“Are you trying to pick a fight?”

“I’m not trying to do anything. Just take me home.”

“Home.” Helena stated.

“Yes home.”

“I thought we would go to my place.”

“I don’t want to okay? The last thing on my mind is sex.”

“I don’t believe I said anything about sex.”

Tina looked at Helena. “I just want to go home.”

“Okay…okay, home it is.”

Helena pulled away from the curb and proceeded towards Tina’s home.


	95. Chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters for you tonight! I'm feeling generous. ;)

CHAPTER 95 

**********  
SHANE’S

“Are you excited about school?’

“I’m looking forward to the experience. I just can’t wait to graduate and be doing what I want with my life.”

Jan laughed. “Bette, you just got out of high school…enjoy the journey.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not a very patient person.”

“I can tell.”

“That obvious?” Bette formed a small smile from the corner of her mouth.

“Yea it is.”

Bette shifted on the table. “So…what year do you graduate high school?”

“Oh come on, do I look that young?”

“No…I mean...yeah. Cripes! I think either way I get in trouble on this one.”

“It’s okay, I get that a lot. I’m actually going to be starting my first year at Menlo College in Atherton. I know it’s a hike from here, but I have an aunt and uncle who lives up that way, so I won’t really feel completely absent from the family.”

“Atherton?” Bette formed an inquisitive look. “ I don’t know why that sounds familiar. Where is it located?”

“It’s roughly 4 miles North of Stanford, in Palo Alto, California.”

“Are you serious? I’m actually going to Stanford.”

“You are?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, that’s really neat Bette. None of my friends are actually going to any of the schools up north. It’s nice to know I’ll know someone in the area. Well not that I know you, but…maybe we can hang out?”

“Sure. I won’t know anyone either. Dana and Alice, they are the couple that have been hanging on the sofa tonight, are going to Berkeley, and Shane is going to Laney in Oakland.”

“That’s a small hike away.”

“Yeah it is.” Bette intentionally avoided mentioning Tina.

“What about the blonde girl, your friend that you were out in the hall with. Where is she going?”

Bette took a sip of her beer and answered in matter of fact way, “Berkeley as well.”

“Oh wow. With so many of your friends going to Berkeley, I’m surprised you didn’t go there too.”

“I liked Stanford better.”

Jan sensed the conversation turn more tight and rigid after asking about the blonde girl. “Well, it’s a really great school. I wish I could have afforded it myself.”

“My father worked hard for me to be able to go to school. My mother used to be a painter a long time ago, when she was younger. Some of the pieces she had created were sold at a reasonably high price. They invested the money, and it helped towards my schooling.”

“Cool. Does your mother continue to paint today?”

“No.” Bette started to reflect back. “She pretty much gave it up once we moved to our current home.”

“Why?”

“I don’t really know. I just assumed she never felt she had the right space to work. I’d love to see her pick it up again one day.”

“Do you paint?”

“Not much.”

Jan started towards the door. “I’m going to get another beer. Would you like one?”

“No thanks. I’m going to dry out for a bit then head home.”

“You sure you should drive?”

Bette laughed. “Yeah, I know my limit.”

Jan smiled back before leaving Bette alone in the room with her thoughts.

******************  
NEXT MORNING

Shane, Jill, Jan and Carla cleared the empty beer bottles from the apartment, and straightened it up before they left. Shane had a long trip ahead of her, but had gotten a head start on packing her things the days that preceded the move. She expected to be on the road within the hour, taking her cousin up on his offer to come and get her. Gary lived in Oakland and had a place not far from Laney. He offered for Shane to stay with him while she was in school, or worked something out with friends to rent a place of their own. Shane’s parents were hardly a presence in her life, so most things she had, was accomplished with little support or assistance from them. A product of two alcoholic parents, it made things very hard for her growing up. The further she was from them, the happier she felt she would be.

Dana and Alice had been playing telephone tag for a good part of the morning as each of them finished packing at their respective homes. They decided to share a large truck that Dana’s father had rented and planned to drive. Once they had finally touched base with one another, they were happy to learn they would be on the road before noon.

Tina had stayed in bed longer than she should have, complaining of nausea and a headache when she woke up. Her mother chalked it up to nerves, and tried to ease her mind while encouraging her daughter to get things going. Her father’s friend Barry offered his landscaping truck to move Tina in, and though it wasn’t the most flattering of vehicles it would serve the purpose. Helena had placed a few calls which had gone directly to Tina’s voicemail. Tina wasn’t prepared to talk to anyone, which would have included her parents had she had the choice.

Kit had gone home to help her family load those things Bette wished to take onto the back of the neighbors pickup truck. Bette didn’t plan on bringing too much, so the oversized truck which her father had intended on renting would be a waste of money on unused space. Bob, the next door neighbor had told Melvin he was welcome to use his truck, which was an offer that Melvin appreciated.

As the day progressed and the girls got underway, they started calling one another on their cell phones, making sure that the others were on the road. Absent from the calls to one another, was Bette and Tina. It wasn’t that things ended drastically wrong, but there were hurt ego’s, and the realization that sometimes you just can’t go back.

****************  
PEGGY’S HOME

“Get your head out of your bloody arse Helena and start using it! Instead of sitting here with insecurities, remember you are a Peabody and anyone willing to avoid being involved with one is an arse, plain and simple.”

“Mother I don’t need this. I have a lot to consider right now.”

“What is that? If the girl is ignoring you, let her. Just pull yourself together and march on.”

Helena shook her head. Her mother’s attitude was often ‘matter of fact’ and without feeling…at least on the outside. She sometimes wondered how she was her offspring, for there were so many differences between them. Helena stood from the sofa and took her purse from the table.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to head to my place. Thanks for letting me stay here last night.”

“Well I wouldn’t let you drive as tired as you were.”

“Thanks.” 

Peggy watched as her daughter proceeded to the door. “Remember…she’s a fool if she let’s you go.”

Helena offered as much of a smile as she could before leaving.


	96. Chapter 96

CHAPTER 96 

*****************  
HEADING NORTH

“You excited about getting away?” Gary asked Shane.

“I sure am. You know me Gary, always been a free spirit. I love being able to experience new things.”

“You’ll have a great time I’m sure. I remember when I was in college.” Gary started reflecting back to his earlier days, and shared a few stories with Shane, resulting in both of them laughing pretty hard. 

“Well I hope I get to make some good memories that I can remember ages later.”

Gary looked at Shane sharply. “I’m not that old!”

Shane looked at Gary and raised both brows before bursting into laughter. She was in a great mood, and looking forward to all the diverse experiences which college guaranteed.

*********

As Dana sat between her Dad and Alice in the front of the truck, Alice was chatting with Bette on the cell phone.

“So...do tell, what is up with you and that girl Jan?”

Bette wasn’t about to say too much in the presence of her father, and certainly wouldn’t share a thing that she didn’t want repeated. “Nothing.”

“Oh come on Porter, spill.”

“Nothing Al. We had a good time last night.”

“Shane said she’s going to school up around where you’re going.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Bette glanced over at her father, who was cursing at the slow driver in front of him. 

“Are you going to go out with her?” Alice felt Dana’s elbow hit her side. “Ouch!”

“What happened?”

“Dana, that’s what happened.”

Bette smiled, knowing that Dana must have delivered one of the best swings she was known for…towards Alice. “I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Yeah, don’t forget to call once you get settled in.”

“I won’t.”

Bette flipped her phone shut and joined the silence inside the truck.

********

Jerry looked at his watch, happy that he was making such good time. Saturday’s was his golf day, and his thoughts were on putting Dan Cahill to shame on the green. “With any luck I’ll be back home in plenty of time to get on the golf course.”

“Hope so,” Tina said quietly.

“That Cahill is such a sandbagger. Anyone that he hasn’t played with before, he starts telling them he isn’t that good just so he can gain an edge.”

“Isn’t that like bluffing when you play poker?”

“Along the same lines yes. I just can’t wait to meet him at the nineteenth hole so I can rub it in.”

“Nineteenth? I thought there was only eighteen holes?”

Jerry chuckled. “Yes there is. The nineteenth hole is the clubhouse bar.”

The last thing Tina wanted to think about was alcohol.

“Yep, I’ll make him buy me a few nice cold beers when it’s all over.”

Tina felt her stomach start to turn. “Can we not talk about that. I can’t stand beer.”

Jerry looked at his daughter with a sense of surprise before shaking his head. Meanwhile, as a level of quiet set in, her thoughts went to Helena and Bette. 

*******************  
THAT AFTERNOON

When the girls arrived at their respective schools, each of them felt a bit overwhelmed by the amount of activity they were met with.

“Where the hell did all these people come from?” Alice’s response was a familiar one. 

“Did you think you were the only girls coming here?” Dana’s father asked.

“No, but this is crazy! How are we suppose to get our stuff in? Everyone is backed up.”

“Hey there’s Tina and her Dad.” Dana pointed in the direction they were.

“I wonder how they got ahead of us? I thought they got a later start.”

“Guess not,” Dana said as she frowned thinking of how long this was going to take.

*********

Jerry’s patience was being tested. “I can’t believe this. What the hell is everyone waiting for?”

“Dad relax. We’ll get our turn.”

Jerry looked at his watch. “I’m going to miss afternoon tee time if we don’t get moving here.”

Tina rolled her eyes. It wasn’t uncommon that it was all about Jerry, even when he was seeing his daughter off for her first semester of school. “If you want to drop my stuff here then just do it. I can get some people to help me.”

Jerry looked at his daughter as he grumbled to himself.

*********  
“Ohhhh yeah, this is what I call heaven!” Shane scanned all the girls who had already converged around the front of the school.

Gary smiled as he watched his younger cousin drool over the prospects that lay ahead. “Take it easy. Remember you are here to learn…get an education.”

“I plan on getting educated…trust me.” Shane leaned out the window of the truck, taking in the views as they passed the school and made their way to Gary’s place.

**********

It turned out to be a much longer day than anyone had anticipated. Jerry missed his afternoon tee time with Cahill, Melvin missed dinner with Maxine, Gary’s plans to go motorcycling with his buddies fell through, and Dana’s Dad was going to be paying for an additional rental day on the van.

By the time they were finished moving in, the girls were quite exhausted. Some boxes were emptied, some remained unopened on the floor. They would have a week to get themselves settled completely before classes would begin. With all the planning and preparation that had been done to date, there remained quite a bit of things they would need to do in the upcoming week.


	97. Chapter 97

CHAPTER 97 

*************************  
ONE WEEK LATER

“Did you get your student ID?” Tina asked Diane, her roommate.

“I got it yesterday, you?”

“I just got mine,” Tina said holding it up to Diane. “I hate getting my picture taken.”

“Why? You look great.”

“Thanks.” Tina laid down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. “I can’t believe it took all week to get completely unpacked and settled in.”

Diane lay on her stomach on the bed while she used her laptop to IM with a few girls from the school. “I know, and to think I left most of my stuff home.”

Tina laughed. “Me too.”

“Hey Lauren said there is going to be a party over at Putnam Hall tonight. Do you want to go?”

“Really? What time?”

“She said it would start around eight o’clock.”

“I’ll let you know.” Tina had only spoken with Helena a few times during the week, at which time Helena had made it known she was hoping to see Tina over the weekend.

Diane glanced over to find Tina text messaging someone. “You’re not married are you?”

“What?!”

“Well we’ve only been here a week, and it seems you’re always hesitating to hang out.”

“No…no that’s not it. I want to hang out it’s just…”

“You are married!” Diane stated more than inquired.

“Heck no.” Tina hesitated a moment before pressing the button to send the text off. “I’m sort of involved with someone.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow Kennard, you move pretty fast. We’ve only been on campus a week.”

Tina smiled, hoping the conversation would go in a different direction.

“What’s his name?”

*************

Joe was a rather handsome young man. He had played football in High School and his physique showed he was something to reckon with. His dorm was on the same floor as Alice, whom he met when she had locked herself out of the dorm one afternoon. It was Friday, and weekend plans were already being made throughout campus. It would be the last weekend before classes began that Monday.

“Hey Alice, we are going to head over to the Thai House and get some fried ice cream. Do you want to come along?” Joe had found Alice hanging in the lounge.

“Sure…what time are you going?”

“In about fifteen minutes.”

“Okay. Give me a minute while I grab some cash.”

“Hey I’ll spot ya this time around. You can get me next time.”

“Oh…are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s cool.”

“Alrighty then.” Alice felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. “Hold on…” Alice flipped the phone open. “Hello.”

“Hey Al, it’s me.”

“Hi Dane. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to head over to the tennis court and play for a while with Patti.”

“I’m heading out with Joe and a few others to get some fried ice cream.”

Funny how things had a way of turning themselves around, for it was Alice who had been pretty jealous about the idea of Dana rooming with someone. Yet, over the week it ended up being Dana who was having a hard time with Alice going out frequently with this guy Joe who she had met only one time the whole week. “You’re going out with Joe again?”

“Yeah. You should come along.”

“No, I made plans with Patti.”

“Okay. Why don’t you come by later. We are having a pretty big party planned in this hall tonight.”

“What time?”

“I don’t know, around eight-thirty maybe?”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I haven’t seen much of you Dane…try to make it huh?”

“I’ll try Al.”

******************

“You hungry cuz?”

“A little bit. What do you have?”

“I can put some burgers on the grill if you want?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Gary went out the back door and turned the gas grill on. “Any plans for tonight?”

“One of the girls I met the other night said that she was going to have a little party at the place she and some others rented. It’s about three blocks from here.”

“Yeah?” Gary formed a shady grin. “Don’t be getting yourself in any trouble.”

“Who me?”

“Yes you.”

“You’re one to talk. If I remember Uncle Dave made his fair share of trips to the police station to bail your ass out.”

Gary laughed as he placed four burgers on the grill. “Poor Dad… I sure did put some gray hairs on that man’s head.”

“See?”

“Just be careful.”

“I’ll be fine Gary. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. It’s not like I am tasting my freedom for the first time like a lot of these kids. I’ve been doing my own thing for a while now.”

Gary looked over at Shane. He felt sorry for his young cousin, and the truth which she was sharing. It had only been a couple of years since he learned of his Aunt and Uncle being severe alcoholics. Shane wasn’t one to accept help very easily from anyone. The few times his father and mother reached out to her, she wasn’t open to accepting it. Gary was especially pleased when she accepted his invitation to stay at his place while she was attending school.


	98. Chapter 98

CHAPTER 98 

**********

Bette had fallen asleep listening to her iPod, waking to one of Janet Jackson’s latest hits. She was surprised to find that Elise had already returned from the picnic she and her boyfriend had gone on. She sat up and removed her earplugs. “Hey, you’re back early.”

Elise made an attempt to wipe the tears from her face before turning completely towards Bette. Her efforts failed, for Bette had noticed her upset. 

“Are you okay?”

Elise dropped her head in her hands. “Mike’s an asshole.”

“What happened?”

“He’s just an asshole. He was flirting with this chick that was roller blading in the park.”

“What do you mean? What was he doing?”

“He kept watching her the whole time I was with him. It was like I wasn’t even there Bette. I don’t get him sometimes. If he wants to have roaming eye, then why the hell doesn’t he just stay single?”

“Well…checking people out isn’t unusual when you’re our age. Don’t you check out some of the guys?”

“Yeah, but I sure know how to be discrete!”

Bette chuckled. “Sounds like Mike’s guilt lies in the fact he doesn’t know how to hide it better…not so much he’s doing it, because you are too.”

Elise knew that Bette was right. In a short time she was laughing along side Bette. “You have a way of looking at things so differently. You’re pretty mature for your age.”

“Thanks…I think.” 

“Do you want to hang out later? Maybe catch a movie?”

“Sure. There’s a few good movies that came out today.”

“Great!”

Bette’s thoughts were on Tina quite a bit after the move, but as the week progressed she found herself so busy preparing for the start of classes, that her focus had changed to the future and not so much the past.

***********

“What do you mean you aren’t coming home?” Helena had a hard time keeping her level of irritation hidden. 

“There’s a party that the girls and guys are going to in Alice’s dorm. We are going to party a little bit before we have to start classes on Monday.”

“Party? You want to party instead of coming to my place and be with me?”

“Helena, it isn’t that I don’t want to be with you, it’s the last weekend before school gets underway.”

“That’s the excuse this weekend Tina. What will it be next weekend?”

Tina started to feel bad. She wasn’t sure if she could even go to the party knowing that Helena was feeling so sour about her not going home. “Fine. Come get me around seven o’clock then.”

“I don’t want you coming here unless you want to,” Helena countered.

“It’s fine. I’ll be out in front of Cheney Hall at seven.”

A few more words were shared before Tina flipped the phone shut. What she hadn’t realized was that Diane was just outside their room. Diane pushed the partially closed door open. 

“Hey…is everything alright?”

Tina looked over at Diane, then away quickly as she wiped her eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

Tina looked back. “I’m just having some issues with a friend.”

Diane sat on the edge of her bed. “I hate that. I want a drama free school year, and I sure hope I get it.”

Tina smiled at Diane’s wish. “I hope you do too. Are you going out with anyone?”

“Me? No way. I ended a two year relationship with this boy from high school. I’m done with guys.”

Tina didn’t say a word. It was strange how she found herself hiding who she was. Away from family and a lot of her friends, she felt a need to avoid sharing a part of her that could be rejected, particularly by the girl she had to share a room with the first year.

***********

“Great game Dana,” Patti offered as she wiped the sweat from her forehead with a terry cloth towel. “You have a great backswing.”

“Thanks. You had me all over the court.”

“That’s the idea right?”

Dana took a gulp of cold ice water. “Uh-huh. It’s good…pushing yourself to the limit is a good feeling.”

“It’s a great court to play on,” Patti said as she zipped up her gym bag. “You heading back for a shower?”

“Yeah, and it’s going to be a nice long one.”

Patti chuckled as she threw the strap of the bag over her shoulder. “I’m going to hang in the lounge and watch some TV later if you want to chill out.”

“I’m suppose to meet my friend Alice at a party over at Putnam.”

“Okay.”

As they started walking towards the Hillside, Dana had an idea. “Why don’t you come to the party?”

“Me?”

“Yes you.”

“I’m not really big into parties Dana.” Patti smirked. “I suppose I won’t get too popular with that attitude, but it’s never really been my thing.”

“I know what you mean. I tend to be a couch potato myself, but my girlfriend….” Dana caught her slip immediately, and was grateful that it seemed to fly over Patti’s head. “….my friend Alice is into parties more than myself, so I usually go and hang with her.”

“Ah…well hope it’s a good time.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Dana watched as Patti proceeded to her floor of Hillside. She slowly ascended the stairs to her own floor, dropping her gym bag just before she opened the door to her dorm. 

“Shit! Dana, I thought you were going to be awhile.” Jean pushed her boyfriend Nick off of her.

“I’m sorry…I….I can come back,” Dana said nervously.

“Really? You would?” Nick asked.

Jean hit Nick with the pillow. “Stop. Dana it’s okay...”

“Look, I just need to get some clothes so I can shower and change. I’m headed to Putnam Hall so I won’t be here for a while.”

“Yeah?” Jean looked at Nick, who was obviously excited at the idea of them having some time alone.

“I won’t be long.” Dana quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, a shirt, underwear and toiletries she would need, then exited the room quickly. Once outside, she leaned against the door and rolled her eyes.


	99. Chapter 99

***************  
PUTNAM HALL

The party was well under way, with young adults scurrying between dorms and the outdoor courtyard. Alice and Joe were sitting around a table with 8 others participating in a drinking game called Chandeliers. She hadn’t noticed the message on her cell phone from Dana, advising her that she would be arriving late. As a matter of fact, Alice had lost complete track of time.

“Oh come on, that’s not fair!” Alice leaned into Joe. “Won’t you drink that one for me?”

“Nope, it’s all yours Alice.”

“Come on Joe, a big burly guy like you can handle it,” Alice teased as she gripped his bicep.

Joe handed Alice her glass. “Chug a lug.”

Alice smirked at the rest of the girls and guys around the table. She pushed some stray hair from her face and took the glass from Joe. “Cheerio…or….Oreo’s…something like that.” Alice threw back the glass of beer and banged the empty glass down on the table, a sign of her success.

Everyone clapped before continuing on.

*************

“Have you seen the coming attractions for this one?” Elise asked Bette as she sampled some popcorn.

“I have. It’s suppose to be pretty scary.”

“Oh yeah? I don’t get scared very easily.” Elise came across like she was trying to convince herself she was brave. This caused Bette to smile.

“That’s good, because it’s really graphic. I hope blood doesn’t make you get nauseous or anything.”

”Blood? No…no I’m good.” Elise nervously moved the popcorn around. “I’m not as delicate as you think Bette.”

”Who said I thought that?”

”I don’t know, just my impression of you this past week and what you think of me.”

Bette was surprised. She didn’t feel that she had jumped to any conclusions about her room mate. Sure it was true that Elise was extremely feminine and more girly than a lot of young women she knew, but she didn’t think that she had given off any signs of that or anything else. “I don’t understand,” Bette said.

“A few times this week when I couldn’t do something, you kind of jumped in to help me…strike that, you jumped in and just did it for me.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well it made me think that you were looking at me like some helpless and weak girl.”

Bette raised both her brows. “My gosh, I’m sorry Elise. I didn’t intend to make you feel that way. I’m so used to running to people’s aid, that I didn’t give it a second thought.”

“It’s okay.”

”No…no it’s not. It won’t happen again.” 

“Bette, it’s cool. I just wanted to point it out so you didn’t think I was a woos…cause I’m not.”

As the girls continued to whisper through a few coming attractions, they both turned quiet at the sight of the opening credits.

***************

The ride to Helena’s was a quiet one. Tina’s thoughts were torn between breaking things off with Helena, or trying to keep a relationship going while remaining closeted at school. All the fears she felt when she was back home, hiding her relationship with Bette from her parents had come back once she had gotten to school. She realized how difficult things had become once her father learned she was with a girl. The last thing she needed was to be in such close quarters with a room mate and find that she was equally uncomfortable about it. It would certainly make for a long and arduous school year.

Helena found herself just as undecided about what to do. She had never had to work so hard at acquiring the interest or affection of another woman. The Peabody’s were strong and confident. They didn’t take a liking to compromise, and certainly not when it came to relationships.

“I’m sorry,” Tina said quietly.

Helena glanced at Tina, her eyes not staying on the blonde very long before returning quickly to the road before her. “I’m not used to trying so hard,” Helena admitted.

“What do you mean?”

Helena pulled into her parking space and turned the car off. “I mean I’m not used to having to work so hard for someone’s attention. It’s always come rather easily.”

Tina took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly. “I don’t mean to make things that way. I’m at such a different place than you Helena. I’m starting school, and I want to experience as much as I can.”

”I want that for you too darling.”

“I know…except for the fact that you want me at your place on the weekends. I’m in college Hel. I want to go to parties and hang out with my friends on the weekends too. I don’t want to be picked up every Friday night and miss out on the things I’m meant to be experiencing.”

Helena leaned her forehead between her two hands that remained on the steering wheel. “Is it that difficult of a choice Tina?”

Tina remained quiet as she watched Helena lean back against the seat.

“…I mean honestly, do you know how many of those girls would love to have a pad to crash at on weekends, away from school?”

“No I don’t,” Tina snapped back. “What are you trying to say, that I’m being ungrateful?”

“I didn’t say that, I’m just saying that instead of looking at what you are missing out on, why don’t you try to look at what you are gaining instead?”

“You don’t understand,” Tina countered. “Did you want to go home and be with Mom on weekends when you could have stayed on campus partying?”

Helena’s eyes widened. “Mom?!”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

Helena felt her nose flare out. “How on earth can you use that as an example? First, I’m not ‘that’ much older than you. Second, going home to your parents and going home to your girlfriend are two entirely separate things.”

“It is, but I’m trying to give you an example so you can try to understand,” Tina reasoned, while Helena’s words lingered and bordered on hysteria.

Helena felt defeated. She was aware that the weekend wasn’t going to feel the same as it should, where Tina’s thoughts were clearly on school and what she was missing. She wasn’t going to continue to engage in a relationship where she didn’t feel much effort in return. She started the car back up and put it in reverse.

“What are you doing?” Tina asked, watching as the BMW started heading back in the direction they had come from.

“I’m taking you back.”


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to pop in and say thank you for reading and for commenting here and elsewhere - always inspires me to post regularly knowing you are still interested in the story.

********************  
TWO WEEKS LATER

It was a difficult two weeks for Tina Kennard. In as much as she had wanted to experience college life, she felt something big was missing from her life. She wasn’t sure if it was as simple as the relationship itself, or if it were more. She wasn’t use to being single for very long, and certainly wasn’t used to being the one dumped. There were a lot of things which made this break up uncomfortable and uneasy in terms of determining the answers to the questions that went through her mind. She tapped away at the keyboard, trying to focus some thoughts on the essay which was due the next day.

“Hey TK, some of us are heading out for some Mexican food…wanna come?”

“No thanks Diane, I need to get some homework done.”

”I thought your friend Alice said you weren’t such a big study geek, but since school started that’s all you seem to be doing.”

Tina offered as much of a smile as she could. “Go and have fun. I’m going to go to bed early tonight.”

“Wishful thinking,” Diane rallied back. “We haven’t had a peaceful night yet.”

“I’ll go to sleep with my earplugs in.”

“Suit yourself.” Diane grabbed her wallet then left the room.

******************

“Are you sure you don’t mind Gary?” Shane asked.

“No not at all. Just be careful huh?”

”I will.”

”No drinking Shane…I mean it.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

”Where are you going to take her?”

“I don’t know yet. I just told her I would come by around seven o’clock.”

Gary smirked. “Alright…just don’t make me worry huh?”

”I won’t. I’ll probably be back by twelve.”

”Correction…you will be back by twelve.”

Shane rolled her eyes. Her cousin wasn’t use to being responsible for someone. In many ways, he was a lot like Shane, but there were also differences. He was in his forties and single, with no interest in looking. Ten years prior, he had lost his fiancée unexpectedly in a tragic boating accident. There had been a large boat party Memorial Day weekend, which he didn’t attend due to work requirements. There were three people lost that day, one his beautiful fiancée. Since that time, Gary spent his free time riding his Harley Davidson and keeping his heart cut off from love and romance.

*****************

Bette had taken a seat on the bench outside the dorm, catching her breath from the long run she had just finished. She lay back on the bench, looking up at the sky while she listened to her iPod. 

“Hey stranger…”

Bette hadn’t heard the voice which was speaking to her. She did however feel the tap on her shoulder, which caused her to jump up quickly. “What the f…..Jan..”

“Hey Bette, I was in the area and thought I would drop by.”

Bette smiled. “In the area….sure.”

“Hey I was,” Jan said as she took a seat next to Bette. “How are you doing?”

“Good, you?”

“Not too bad. Where the hell have you been?”

“Here, where else would I be?”

“Well…three weeks into school I though you might call me or something.”

“I’m sorry. Time just seemed to slip away.”

Jan looked at Bette, scanning the brunette’s incredible features as she did so. “I felt like I had done something wrong…that night…at the party.”

“Noooo…no you didn’t. Jan, it was a kiss…those things happen right?”

“Right.” Jan looked away. To her it was more than that. She had felt an instant attraction to Bette when she first saw her at Shane’s that evening. As the evening had progressed, she found an even stronger appeal as she got to know her better.

Bette sensed something wasn’t right when the silence enveloped the space around them. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You seem to be quiet suddenly.”

Jan looked across the dark green see of green lawn. “I don’t know what it is, but…” Jan stopped talking. She wasn’t sure she could reveal what she was feeling. She wasn’t usually very forward with her feelings.

“But?” Bette encouraged.

“Bette, I know it was a kiss…but….but it wasn’t just a kiss to me.” There she said it, it was out there. She didn’t look at Bette, hoping to hear the brunette respond before she felt the urge to take a glance.

Helena lay on top of sofa randomly changing channels on the television. She was irritated with herself, that she would allow someone to effect her feelings like this. Typically when a relationship ended, Helena was up and about within a few days. This time however, Tina had somehow become more to her than all the others. She turned over and grabbed her cell phone from her bed side table. She scrolled through the address book, knowing there was only one way to get over this girl. She found the name she was looking for and pressed the button to initiate a call


	101. Chapter 101

CHAPTER 101 

“Hello.”

“Hi….it’s Helena.”

“Hey girl, how the hell are you?”

“I’m okay. You?”

“I’m good yeah. Where are you at these days?”

“I’m in Los Angeles.”

“What are you doing there?”

“We moved here…over the summer.”

“You what? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know, I suppose time went by and…you know how it is.” Helena felt awkward, knowing she hadn’t done a very good job at keeping in touch with her college friend.

“Well don’t you be letting time get away from you. You still working on those abs?”

Helena chuckled. “Bloody hell Sheila what do you think?”

“As I recall they were looking mighty fine. I loved when you did that thing with your stomach…remember that?”

Helena felt herself blush. “Yes, I do…let’s try to forget that. I was drunk that night and wasn’t in the proper state of mind.”

“I know,” Sheila snorted. “It was a great night though.”

“I had broken up with Carrie that night,” Helena reminded.

“Yes, you did. However, after a few drinks and a some circus acts with those ab muscles…I remember it being one hell of a night.”

“I definitely got over my sadness about my breakup that’s for sure.”

“Exactly. So…what do I owe the honor of this call?”

“I…I’m having a little trouble…getting over someone….” Helena paused, hearing the voice on the other end change an octave lower.

“Oh…and…”

“Well, I ….fucking hell, I’m not sure what I was thinking. I’m sorry Sheila…” Helena quickly hung the phone up. She put her head on her bent knees and started to rock. There wasn’t a thing Sheila could do for her, as she was now living in Canada and not on campus like she was that night she and Carrie had broken up. She jumped at the sound of the familiar cell ring. She hesitated a moment before slowly opening the phone. “Hello.”

“Hel…don’t hang up.”

Helena remained quiet.

“What’s going on?” Sheila waited, then encouraged her once more. “It’s okay, you can talk to me.”

“I feel like an arse. I mean, this girl Tina…she is a few years younger than me and just started college about three weeks ago. It wasn’t working Sheila….I broke up with her two weeks ago and I can’t seem to shake her.”

“Do you want to?”

“I have to. She is going down an entirely different path than what I am walking. I’ve done that whole scene already. Rather than come to my apartment on weekends, she would rather party on campus with the other students.”

“Ah, well we sure knew our share of that now didn’t we?”

“Yes, we did. I’m not saying it’s wrong, but I can’t deal with someone who doesn’t give a shit about spending time together. We don’t get together during the week, so the weekends is all we have.”

“It’s a maturity thing Hel.”

“I know. I suppose I didn’t experience it as we met during the summer and she had all the time in the world for me.”

“So…you think giving this up is a good thing?”

“It’s not what I wanted, but I felt I had to do it. I have pride you know.”

“I know, but if you love her….”

“I do love her Sheila, but….but I need to get over her.”

“I see.” Sheila knew what that meant. She and Helena shared a unique friendship. They had sex quite a few times randomly during college, and some of those times was when Helena was rebounding from a relationship. It wasn’t a healthy reaction by any means, but once Helena found it helped her let go of the intimacy and closeness she had once shared with the person she’d just broken things off with, she continued to seek it out.

“I need you…” Helena said in a low and sultry voice.

Tina had been feeling restless as her thoughts kept returning to Bette and the times they shared in High School. She found Bette to have been the most understanding and compassionate woman and partner that she had known. It wasn’t that Tina had a full resume of former lovers, but enough to understand what she had.

She decided to close the Microsoft Word program which she had been typing her essay and open up some pictures she had saved on her laptop of she and Bette. As she looked through them, she felt her eyes moisten from the emotions that the memories stirred. There were goofy pictures of she and Bette as they washed her car, hung on one another, slept against the other following a long trip back home from the beach. There were the many pictures of the places they had taken some day trips too on the weekends and the parties they attended when they should have been studying.

As Tina looked through the folders, she came across one that had an image of a lock on it. Before she clicked on the folder, she knew exactly what the folder contained. One night when they had a few drinks between them, enough to get a good buzz on, they had taken nude pictures of the other. Tina hadn’t given much thought to the fact she had the pictures, and had actually forgotten about them until the image of the lock reminded her of them. When she clicked the folder, the memories of that night came to life before her eyes. Her facial expression changed between smiles, frowns, and desire. The latter remained as she clicked each picture of Bette and enlarged it. The physical beauty of this young brunette graced the screen, and prompted some illicit thoughts from the blonde who found herself becoming incredibly aroused.

Tina looked at the door to her dorm, then to her watch. Feeling her room mate would not be back any time soon, she returned her eyes to the screen which displayed a picture of Bette leaning back against the pillows with her legs apart and her fingers spreading her lips for the photographer who had her heart. Tina closed her eyes a moment as she felt her breaths begin to weaken. She unbuttoned her jeans and lowered her zipper. She slowly slipped her hand between the edge of her thong and her pubic bone. Her hand traveled over the thin landing strip she so carefully maintained to her own lips.


	102. Chapter 102

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a two-fa. Enjoy....

CHAPTER 102 

The ache which had quickly grown in her center, equally matched the ache she felt in her heart. It was no surprise how wet she had found herself once her two fingers found her center. As she looked at the brunette on the screen, she fantasized that they were in the same room, and Bette was offering herself up to the blonde. 

Tina’s fingers circled her clit, which was already tender to the touch. The blood had quickly traveled and settled in this one area as her mind played a wicked game of fantasy and arousal. She felt her breaths become more labored as her fingers continued a circular pattern. She applied a slight bit more pressure when she felt herself begin that slow ascent. As her internal muscles contracted with each shot of pleasure that built, her leg stiffened and her toe began to curl from the vast pressure that had built as her climax reached the pinnacle of her pleasure. At the moment she visualized Bette’s mouth taking over with what her fingers were now doing, she rolled into a fiery orgasm.

*************************  
Helena’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as Sheila spoke over the phone, taking those last few minutes to verbally help stimulate what Helena was doing.

“Ohhh….yesss…” Helena started to feel her breath giving way to the climax. “Fuck….fuck me……harder!” she demanded.

“I’m ramming you baby, with this hard strap on I’m wearing. You like that right? You like feeling me fill you?” Sheila could tell by the lack of a response, Helena was nearly there.

“OHHHHHHHHH GOOODDDDDDD!!!!” Helena screamed into the silence that encompassed the living room. Once she caught her breath, she brought the phone to her ear. “Bloody hell, you haven’t lost it.”

Sheila laughed. “I’m glad.” Sheila hesitated a moment, waiting for Helena to say something. When she didn’t, she began asking some questions. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m bloody fine thank you very much.” Helena wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Once I get the air conditioner going here.” She rose from the sofa and turned the A/C on, then dropped back into the overstuffed cushions. 

“Hel, you know what I mean. I worry about you….this….this stuff that we’ve done every once and awhile, it’s just…well you deserve to find that special someone.”

Helena snaked her fingers through her hair, then poured herself another glass of wine. “I’m fine Sheila. This is no big deal.”

“I’m not going to lecture you. I just want you to know that I want the best for you. I’m here for you … always. But this…this purification thing you do to get over someone…I’m just not sure it’s the healthiest thing for you.”

Helena ignored the weight of the message shared. “You were listening right? You did hear how healthy I sounded a few seconds ago didn’t you?”

“Come on girl, you know what I mean. I love ya Hel, so you know I’m gonna tell you how I feel. If I didn’t care, I’d just go for it and get my rocks off with ya without any second thoughts.”

Helena smiled. “I know you care. I don’t trust just anyone with this. It’s a part of me that I just…well I need. It’s hard to explain Sheila. Do you remember the first time we were together after my first heartbreak?”

“I sure do.”

“I hadn’t known how things were going to feel after sleeping with you while my feelings had been so raw, and while I felt so heartbroken. The next morning, there was….this…this freedom. It was like I broke those ties with that person, the past, what we shared. By being intimate with you, it helped me move beyond her.”

“I know Hel, and I know following that you did fairly well staying “up” and getting through the days and weeks that followed. I don’t know, maybe I’ve got it all wrong. It just seems like a form of self inflicted pain or something.”

“Sheel, I was not in any pain, I assure you.”

Sheila and Helena soon started to laugh, and it was the last time they mentioned what had become a ritual since that first breakup in college.

*************************

Bette and Jan had walked around campus for the last thirty minutes, moving their discussion from the kiss that they had shared the night before everyone left for college, and where they were in their lives…emotionally. When they arrived at the school baseball field, they took a seat on the bench inside the dugout.

“I’m sorry if I said too much earlier…about the kiss and all.” Jan stared at the pitcher’s mound. “I’m not sure why, but I find it easy to talk to you.”

Bette glanced over at Jan. The fact was, she enjoyed the kiss…which had surprised her considering the fact that her emotions were all over the place, and her heart was continuing to miss her relationship with Tina. Maybe Jan was the girl who would really let her put the past to rest.

“I liked it,” Bette admitted quietly.

Jan turned her head towards Bette. “You liked….?”

Bette cleared her throat then explained. “The kiss we shared.”

Jan smiled. “Yeah?”

Bette smiled back. “Yes…I did.”

“Wow, I had been confused. When I didn’t hear from you, I was sure you were upset and…well my head started thinking up all the reasons why I must have messed things up.”

Bette turned and straddled the bench so she was now facing Jan. “You didn’t mess anything up.” Bette looked from Jan to the bench. She started to casually trace the grain lines. “I’ve been really confused and … and lost. I had fallen in love with a girl, and…I had found my heart broken really bad. It was hard to even think about trusting someone ever again, and certainly not with my heart. I’ve been so careful not to let someone in…hoping to avoid ever feeling that disappointment and hurt ever again.”

Jan turned so she was not straddling the bench and facing Bette. She reached forward and gently lifted Bette’s chin. “It’s a scary thing…letting yourself take that chance to love someone again.”

Bette remained silent as her eyes engaged with Jan’s. It was strange, but it was like they were speaking their very own language. The window’s to ones soul is what they were often referred to as. “I’m scared…”

“I know you are. I could tell the first moment I met you, that you were working so hard to be cautious and careful. Being scared is okay, but don’t let it stop you in one place Bette.” Jan leaned forward and slipped her hand around Bette’s neck. As she pulled her closer, she began to whisper, “it’s a good thing to take a chance…not let everyone pay the price for what one person has done.”

Before Bette could answer, Jan’s lips had met her own. The kiss would be different than what they had first shared, for Bette had slightly lowered her walls. They didn’t come crashing down by any means, but they had started to go in the right direction…down. Jan was the first to slide her tongue along the crease where Bette’s lips met, requesting entry. Bette parted her lips, allowing Jan’s tongue to caress her own. Both girls quickly felt the heat begin to build between them as their mouth’s merged together.

Bette felt Jan take her hand and bring it to the edge of the jeans she was wearing. Her other hand quickly unbuttoned them, hoping that the faster she enabled access to Bette, the better the chance Bette wouldn’t change her mind.

“God I feel so wet for you,” Jan whispered close to Bette’s ear. Her hand hadn’t released Bette’s yet. “It’s okay, I want you to feel me.”

Bette’s eyes remained closed, buried into Jan’s beautiful long hair. “Are…are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Bette pulled her face from Jan’s hair. She watched Jan’s eyes as her fingers slipped inside of her thong. At the moment her fingers pushed between Jan’s wet lips, the girl closed her eyes in response to Bette’s touch. “Mmmm,” she groaned. “That…feels good.”

Bette found herself becoming easily aroused. Jan was a talker. She shared what she liked, how she wanted to be touched, and wasn’t shy in the least.


	103. Chapter 103

CHAPTER 103 

Shane felt like a queen sitting in the hot tub with five beautiful girls. Only two of them were lesbians, but that didn’t matter. 

“You’re so freaking cute!” Carin said to Shane.

Shane smiled in a shy kind of way. “Thank you.”

“So Shane, how do you like school?”

“Yeah, it’s good. Different than High School.”

“It sure is,” Diedra offered. “I can’t wait until we are done for the year.”

“You have several more months for that wish to come true,” Erica pointed out. 

“I’m already behind in one class,” Shane admitted, smiling as Carin scooted in closer to her.

“Don’t let yourself get too distracted and fall behind,” Erica warned.

Carin smiled at Shane. “I won’t let her. I plan on helping her as much as I can with her Anatomy class.”

The girls all started to laugh, before continuing to have a good time in one another’s company. Shane had quickly gotten to know a number of girls, and seemed to become quite popular in the few weeks she had started school.

************************

Alice and Dana had felt a fair degree of strain in their relationship since starting school. The odd part was that they seemed to be moving in entirely different directions, something they would have never anticipated happening between them. Dana was getting more and more involved in her studies and tennis. Alice on the other hand was having a greater time experiencing all the parties and school activities which had been underway across campus. While Dana was finding comfort in the company of those girls and guys who were more reserved, Alice was finding a high degree of pleasure playing with the more rowdy folks.

“Why are you trying so hard to hide who you are?” Alice questioned.

Dana was frustrated. She stirred the remaining chunk of ice cream in the cup until it became smooth. “I just can’t. I don’t know why.”

“There are LGBTQ groups on campus. It’s not something that you should be hiding.”

“Alice, it’s easier for you. It’s not me, it’s not who I am.”

“You are at college Dane. It’s not like you have to get all wigged out with some family members who don’t know, or kids in high school who didn’t understand. Things are so much more free and liberal here.”

“Why do you have to pressure me so much? You seem to be doing quite well with living it up with Joe and the others,” Dana shot back, bracing herself for the expected justifications that Alice would make.

“What’s wrong with Joe? He’s a nice guy Dana, and just because I am more comfortable with showing the world who I am, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I’m not blind, I know you don’t like Joe. I just don’t get why you don’t like him. What did he do to you?”

Dana pushed her cup of ice cream aside. “He’s….well he’s obnoxious.”

“You have hardly been in his company. How can you honestly say that?”

“I just don’t like him okay?”

Alice sat back against the chair and folded her arms. “What are we doing?”

Dana looked at Alice tentatively. “Having ice cream?”

“You know what I mean. Dane, we haven’t….well…you know.”

Dana knew quite well what Alice was referring to. They hadn’t been intimate since they were back home, before they moved to school. “How on earth are we meant to have some alone time? There isn’t any time to be alone Alice. We are in college.”

Alice shook her head. “You know, when you really want something Dana you find a way. If you don’t want to be together, have the guts to tell me, but please…please don’t string me along.”

Dana’s eyes widened as she looked around cautiously, seeing who may have heard. “Will you please keep your voice down.”

Alice stood from her seat. “This is ridiculous. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me, who’s proud to be with me. This is so fucking lame.” 

Before Dana could say a word, Alice turned and was out the door.

************************

Before she brought Jan over the edge, Bette had her up against the back wall of the dugout. She let all her inhibitions go, and decided that she would go for it. It was college after all, and eventually she would find herself involved with someone anyway. She and Jan had a really great time at Shane’s that night, and the fact that Jan sought her out, made Bette feel all the more special.

“Mm…oh god…that feels so…so….fucking….good.” Jan fought to force the words out. Bette’s mouth was consuming the young girls breast while her hand never left the inside of her thong. As her fingers pushed deep inside Jan, her thumb continued to stimulate her clit, which was extremely lubricated.

Jan’s hands snaked their way through Bette’s long hair. The curls wrapped around her fingers while Jan tried hard to steady herself. Her legs weakened as she began climaxing. “Oh….oh god…..hold me….Bette.” Her arm wrapped around Bette, while the other made desperate attempts at clutching the wood wall her back was against. She lifted one leg and wrapped it around the back of Bette’s thigh, hoping to help stabilize herself as the orgasm ripped through her body.

****************

Following her taking matters into her own hands, Tina had cried herself to sleep. Her computer monitor’s screensaver had turned on and the geometric images were now masking Bette’s picture which was still opened. 

Diane was outside the dorm saying goodbye to a few of the girls she had found along her way back to her room. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find Tina sleeping.

“TK what the hell are you doing sleeping?”

Tina jumped from the unexpected sound. When she did, she hit her computer, and low and behold, the screensaver turned off and a fine Bette Porter in all her glory now adorned it.

Diane’s eyes widened as both her brows raised.


	104. Chapter 104

CHAPTER 104

Tina quickly looked to where Diane’s eyes were glued. “Fuck!” It was the only word that automatically came as she quickly closed the window which was displaying her former girlfriend.

“Um…wow.” Diane wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t a prude, but found it a complete surprise that she would return to the dorm to find such a picture on Tina’s computer. She looked down to see the zipper on Tina’s jeans undone. “Maybe I should come back,” she suggested.

Things had happened so fast after Diane came in, that Tina hadn’t fixed herself. As Diane turned back towards the door, Tina quickly zipped her pants, closed the picture, and pleaded for her to stay. “Diane, no…stay, please. I need to explain.”

“No, um…you don’t.” Diane stood by the door.

Tina sighed. “Please?”

Diane hesitated a moment, then walked over to her own bed and sat on the edge. “Tina, it’s none of my business really.”

“But…you obviously came in on something and neither of us is going to be able to ignore it.”

“No…you’re right.” Diane felt awkward. She always thought of herself as fairly open minded, but this moment was testing that.

Tina was completely embarrassed. She pushed her hand through her hair, not knowing just where to begin. “This is incredibly fucked up.”

“Ya think?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t …I…fuck.”

“Look Tina, forget about it. Let’s just make pretend I didn’t come in and see your pants undone and some crazy naked woman on your computer screen.”

Tina closed her eyes. Diane’s recap wasn’t helping ease the situation any. “She’s my ex,” Tina whispered.

***************

Bette and Jan were laying on the plush green grass staring at the clouds above. 

“Do you ever try to figure out what’s in them?” Jan asked.

“I see a lot of things in them.”

“Yeah? What about that one there, what do you think it looks like?”

Bette looked at the cloud which Jan pointed out. “Um…sort of like a guys face. Can you see it?”

Jan laughed. “No…I see a penis though.”

Bette cracked up laughing. “You’re a goof.”

“Hey, I can’t help what I see,” Jan defended. “You see two eyes and a nose, I see a penis.”

Bette turned on her side to face Jan. “Have you ever been with a guy?”

“Nope.”

“Good.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’m tired of confused women,” Bette said as she rolled back over.

“Confused? What do you mean?”

“Women who aren’t sure if they want to be with women or not. The ones that are with you and suddenly decide that they want to sample the other team.”

Jan turned over on her side and faced Bette. “Oh....that. Yeah, I’m not into that either. I want a woman to know what she wants, and isn’t afraid to go after it.” 

Bette felt Jan’s finger making circles on her arm. “Yes, exactly.”

“So…I suppose we are talking about Tina?”

Bette glanced at Jan, then looked back at the clouds above.

“I’m right aren’t I?”

“Look, I’m not against bisexuals at all. It isn’t that.” Bette’s voice changed. It sounded like she was finding a need to defend her feelings.

“I don’t think you need to explain. I get it….I do.”

Bette cocked her head to the side. “Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I can’t express what I feel. I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding. I am very open minded, and I do understand a lot.”

“I know.”

“I just…I was hurt so bad you know? If she wanted to be with me, why was it so damn hard? Why did she have to continue to see if there was something or someone better?”

“Do you think that is what she was doing?” Jan kissed the top of Bette’s head. “Is it possible that she just needed to find some things out for herself?”

“I don’t know….who knows.”

“If my memory of the night we met at Shane’s serves me right, you said you had been broken up for a while.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Why is she still on your mind?”

Bette sighed. “You know, I just…I’m someone that needs answers sometimes. When I don’t have them, it’s hard to find that closure. I need that closure.”

Jan smirked. “Um…not too long ago it seemed like you were doing quite well with closure.”

Bette smiled. “Thanks…you weren’t so bad yourself.”

Jan pushed Bette’s arm. “Hey…I was damn good. You liked this fine piece of ass and you know it.”

“And then some…”

Both girls shared in the humor before the discussion returned to Tina.

****************

Tina knew she had to continue with the discussion. As difficult as it was going to be on a few levels, Diane was her room mate and deserved an explanation.

Diane wasn’t sure she heard correctly. “Your ex?”

“Her name is Bette. We went out during high school.” Tina’s eyes never met Diane’s. They remained focused on a small knick in one of the tiles on the floor. 

Diane didn’t have a clue Tina was gay. “You’re a lesbian?”

Tina didn’t say a word. 

“You don’t look like a dyke.”

Tina looked up. “What is that suppose to mean?”

“Most lesbians I have seen are really butch. You know, short hair and they have that bad ass image.”

Tina rolled her eyes. “God you are so narrow minded.”

“No I’m not,” Diane said defensively. “It’s what I remember seeing in high school. Even here, I mean the girls were talking the other day about that girl Lee, you know who I mean, the one with the really really short hair and tattoos on her arm?”

“Just because she has short hair and a tattoo does not mean she is gay.”

“I know. I just never knew someone so feminine who was gay.”

“People get so caught up with labels,” Tina sighed.

“So…what…what happened? How come she is your ex?”

Tina rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “I was confused…” Tina stopped.

“About what?”

“My family…strike that, my Dad is a crazy homophobic jerk. He was so angry when he found out that I was seeing Bette.”

“God I hate people who have prejudices like that. That must have been hard.”

“It was. I kind of wondered if I just went to women because of something that had happened when I was younger. It’s a long story Diane, and I honestly don’t want to get into it.”

“Okay. You don’t have to.”

“In any case, I broke up with Bette because…well…I guess I wasn’t really sure if I was gay. I mean, how could I know for sure if I was never with a guy?”

Diane gave Tina’s explanation some thought. “Yeah, but…and I’m not being an asshole, so just hear me out okay?”

“Of course.”

“I’m straight, and I don’t feel I need to be with a woman to know for sure if I am. Does that make sense?

Tina knew she was going to need to delve into that more private and tender part of her past in order for Diane to really get it. “I suppose you can’t honestly understand without me sharing something with you. When I was a kid, my uncle…”


	105. Chapter 105

CHAPTER 105

“….so, that is why I felt confused as to whether I just hadn’t even given boys a thought, because of what had happened to me at the hands of a male. I had trust issues with people in general, but mostly it was with boys.”

‘That really sucks Tina. I’m sorry you went through all you did.”

“It’s fine. Well…it isn’t that it’s fine, it’s just I have learned to deal with the violation, and I have tried to understand how it has shaped and affected me today. I finally had gone into therapy, and it was my therapist who helped me keep an open mind in trying to process my sexuality.”

“So…did you ever date any boys then?

“Yeah, I dated this guy for a little bit, but it never felt the same. I tried…I really tried.”

“Tried?”

“To be straight and live the life that I know my father wanted me to live.”

Diane walked over to Tina’s bed and sat on the edge. “Tina, I just want you to know I’m okay with you being a lesbian, if that is what you identify as. I’m not a prude. I guess I was just surprised when I came in tonight, that’s all. I know we haven’t known one another for long, but I think of you as a friend…so can I say something?”

Tina looked at Diane cautiously, afraid what she may have to say. “Uh, yeah…sure.”

“I think your father is an ass.”

Tina cracked up. “I thought you were going to tell me something I didn’t know.”

Diane joined Tina and laughed. “No. First, the way you tell me he how handled your abuse as a child, he should be beaten silly. Second, no matter what his bigoted feelings are, he should have been big enough to put them aside, and let his daughter know he would love her no matter who brought her happiness.”

“It would have been nice,” Tina admitted. “I suppose I lost some respect for him, and never felt I received unconditional love. That’s hard to accept when it is expected to be there from your parents.”

“What would have happened if you decided to live the life he expected? I mean, you can only hide who you are for so long, and eventually it will either drive you completely crazy and make you feel unfulfilled, or worse.”

“Yeah, well…Johnny only lasted a short while. Then I met Helena. She is the person I was on the cell phone with.”

“Ah, okay. It makes sense now, all that “checking” with someone else was the reason you had me wondering if you were married.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry I felt weird sharing it with you.”

“It’s cool. You know, being a lesbian isn’t the worse thing, especially around campus.”

“I’m beginning to see that,” Tina chuckled. “Thanks for understanding Diane.”

“So…what about this Bette woman? When you went back to girls, how come you didn’t try to get back with her?”

Tina let out a long sigh. “I fucked things up so bad. Sooooo bad.”

“So….we all make mistakes.”

“At first I just didn’t do a thing. Later, I told her that I wanted another chance. She wasn’t in the same place I was I guess.”

“What about now? Is she dating?”

“I don’t know…I don’t think so.”

“I say go for it. Go after her.”

Tina placed both hands behind her head as she continued to stare at the ceiling. “She isn’t open to getting back together. I hurt her pretty bad Diane. We…we were really in love with one another, and Bette…gosh, you gotta know Bette. When someone hurts her, she puts walls up and you need a stick of dynamite to get them down, and even then there is no guarantee that once they are down you have a chance in hell.”

“Wow. Stubborn?”

“Oh like no ones business. She is so Alpha…but…so beautiful…loving…caring. She has an intensity about her that sometimes drives me crazy, but it’s like a two sided coin…the intensity is awesome in bed and just how she looks at life, and then there is the flip side where her intensity can be intolerable” Tina’s mind returned to the woman who had always been her best friend, and for a period of time her most intimate confidant and lover.

“Sounds like most people who have the positive and negative part of their personality. It also sounds like there were a lot more positives than negatives, so why settle on the idea that it is over? I mean, it sounds like it would take a lot of work, but if it’s what you want…why not make the effort?”

It was a fair question, but Diane just didn’t know Bette like Tina did. “I know her…when it’s over it is over.”

“Are you still friends though?”

“I received two emails since we moved to school.”

“Where is she going?”

“Stanford.”

“Oh…the stuffy school.”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you aware of the rivalry between Cal and Stanford?”

“No…what is it about?”

“I can’t believe you haven’t heard of it at all?”

Tina sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Nooooo, tell me!” 

“Well, it’s very intense…actually I think the only other that comes close in the world is probably Oxford and Cambridge, or Cambridge and LSE. Anyway, in November you will be exposed to it in a big way when the big football game between Cal and Stanford takes place. “

“Do they have good teams?”

Diane laughed. “They would like to think so, but not really. What fuels the excitement is the attitudes between the schools.”

“How do you know so much about it?”

“My older sister attended Berkeley seven years ago.”

“Okay.” 

“Anyway, it’s kind of funny because even though they are both located pretty close to one another, they are so different.”

“In what way? I thought they were both really good schools.”

“They are, don’t get me wrong. But, Stanford was founded by Governor Stanford, who provided the land with the stipulation it should never be sold. Since then, the property prices went through the roof, and the university is now sitting on an even larger gold mine than before, and with more backing from banks.”

As Diane continued to explain the rivalry that existed between the schools, Tina listened closely, enjoying the small history lesson which was underway.


	106. Chapter 106

CHAPTER 106

As the weeks quickly passed, the girls found themselves taking paths they would have never anticipated. 

Dana couldn’t seem to muster the courage to come out as a lesbian at school. This had caused a major rift between she and Alice, and at the risk of losing a friendship too, they both decided it was best to stop seeing one another on a romantic level. Dana went on a few dates with some guys, but nothing serious developed with any of them. She couldn’t force herself to be sexually attracted to them, therefore the dates came and went without any physical progression.

Alice had started seeing Joe regularly. He was clear early on, that he had no intention on going steady, or being with one girl. However, he really liked Alice and both found themselves spending quite a bit of time together. It was the first time in Alice’s life, that she had ever found herself this attracted to someone of the opposite sex.

Shane had been having a great time hanging out with a group of girls that she had met at school, and some who were friends of friends. Her world was becoming larger than it had ever been when she was living in Southern California. She had made a visit to Berkeley a couple of times, hanging with Tina, Dana and Alice, but had yet to get the time to head over to Stanford to see Bette. Regardless of the distance between them, they were all doing a better job at keeping in touch with one another via cell phone, email, and other online resources

Tina had found a good friend in Diane. After sharing so much of her past with Bette, she formed a strong bond that enabled her to find comfort in just being single. Tina knew that her heart was still beating strong for Bette, and although she was aware that college was filled with experiences waiting to happen, she couldn’t seem to push herself back into the dating scene. She realized it was going to take a pretty special woman to bring that desire back.

Bette and Jan had become closer as time passed. It surprised Bette at how much she was feeling for Jan. Although she would only admit it to herself in the past, she wasn’t sure anyone could ever take the place which Tina had held. Jan was coming fairly close, which was both unexpected and scary at the same time.

Thanksgiving break allowed the girls to head into different directions. Shane stayed with Gary and enjoyed a small but peaceful dinner. 

Bette returned home, bringing Jan with her. Melvin was required to attend a conference in New York, which left Maxine and Kit to represent the family. They embraced the new girl in Bette’s life, which brought her a great deal of relief and happiness. In a guilty way, Bette was relieved her father wasn’t home. 

Tina and Dana decided to attend a dinner which had been planned on campus. Neither felt like going home, each for different reasons which neither shared with the other.

Alice returned home, happy to share the news that she was getting to know a boy at school, something which brought an incredible amount of joy from her parents. Though they had been fairly supportive of her relationship with Dana, they felt Alice would compromise a smooth and easier lifestyle by being in a homosexual relationship. The support she received in her new relationship was both surprising and welcoming.

Upon returning to their respective schools, the girls found themselves only one day away from the Big Game, one of the biggest college football games known, between Stanford and UC- Berkeley.

#

“I’m so excited about the Bonfire Rally!.” Diane was extremely excited to be able to take part in traditional rally which was planned at the Greek Theatre on the eve of the Big Game.

“I am too,” Tina replied with eagerness. “I can’t believe all the hype this week about this football game.”

“It’s crazy!” Diane added as she changed into her favorite Cal tee. “My sister told me to expect about 5,000 students.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“The game should be fun tomorrow.” Tina’s mind was on Bette. They had been in touch periodically through e-mails mostly, and a recent e-mail indicated she would be attending the game. However, with such a huge turnout expected, the likelihood of running into her would be slim. Tina wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“Hey TK where are you?” Diane snapped her fingers.

“Sorry. I was thinking about Bette.”

“Did you ever send that e-mail we were talking about?”

“Which one?”

Diane sat on her bed and started rubbing moisturizer on her legs. “The one where I told you that you should be honest about your feelings. You know, tell her how you feel and that you aren’t prepared to let her go. That you will fight for her.”

Tina closed her eyes, as she stared at the compact mirror before her. “I didn’t send it.”

Diane looked surprised. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I feel stupid. Shane and Bette have been in touch with one another, a lot. Alice told me that Bette told Shane she was seeing this girl and was really ‘into’ her. I don’t stand a chance. I fucked things up royally.”

Diane placed the bottle of lotion on the table and finished rubbing the remnants into her arms. “Tina, no matter how bad things get fucked up, if you really want someone you have to work hard to let them know it. From what you tell me, Bette seems to be a really proud girl. It must have been really hard on her ego when you ended things and went with someone else. She obviously needs to feel how much you really want her, and not just hear the words.”

“I know Diane. I just don’t know where to start. I also don’t feel have a right to fight for her. So much time has passed. I should have done this a lot sooner, and what the heck will it look like if I try to do so now, now that she is with someone?”

Diane knew that Tina had a point. She sighed as she gave the situation more thought.

#

“What time do we need to get to the auditorium for the Gaieties?” Jan asked as she and Bette perused the panty table at Victoria’s Secret.

Bette looked at her watch. “I think it starts at 8pm.”

“Are you as excited as I am?” Jan asked. “I mean, I go to Menlo which can be rather boring, so this is really exciting.”

Bette smiled. “From what I understand, the performance tonight should be a riot. Hey, do you like these?” Bette held up a black lacy thong which was partially see through.

Jan arched a brow. “I think they would look really hot on you baby.”

“Yeah?””

“I sure do.” Jan took a step closer to Bette. She brought her mouth to Bette’s ear. “Even better if you let me take them off you with just my teeth.,” Jan growled.

Bette felt her smile turn naughty. “We don’t have that much time before the show.”

Jan looked over at the sales clerk who was busy at the front of the store handing out coupons. She glanced at the single cashier behind the counter who appeared distracted with paperwork.

Bette felt Jan take hold of her hand and pull her to the dressing room. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh…we’re going to make the time.”


	107. Chapter 107

CHAPTER 107

With a degree haste Jan parted the curtain to the last dressing room, pulling Bette in behind her.

“We are going to get caught,” Bette said with a degree of excitement.

“Not if you’re not loud baby.” Jan reached down and unbuttoned Bette’s jeans. “Do you think you can handle it?”

Bette smirked, pleased with this forward side of Jan. “Can I handle it,” she said repeated cockily as she felt Jan’s fingers brush against her pubic bone as she lowered the zipper on her jeans.

Jan’s face took on a new appearance as her one hand descended inside of Bette’s lace panties, while the other snaked under her jersey, ascending to her breast. “Do you ever go braless?” Jan asked with a hint of complaint.

Bette gasped the moment she felt Jan’s fingers graze her clit. “Uhhh….huh.” The brunette was losing sight of logic as she succumbed to the pleasure which was now underway under Jan’s skillful fingers.

Jan leaned forward as she pushed Bette’s bra above her breast, bringing her mouth to Bette’s ear. “Your nipple is so hard….just about as hard as your clit right now.”

“Uhh…huh….it…it is.” Bette’s words were broken, jagged, and completely complicated by the onslaught of pleasure she fell victim to. She lifted her leg and placed it on the seat inside the changing room, a hint of her willingness to volunteer easier access. “Mmmm.” Bette’s groans were muffled against the fabric of Jan’s shirt.

“You like that baby?” Jan playfully questioned, knowing Bette couldn’t possibly offer an organized response in this state of ecstasy.

“Uhhmmm,” Bette groaned once more. 

“You are so wet.”

Bette did her best to nod in agreement against Jan’s shoulder. At one point, she pulled her head away and thrust it back, nearly hitting the mirror on the wall. “Shit!”

“Shhh…” Jan admonished.

#

“Shane said that Bette had emailed her about tomorrow,” Alice explained to Dana on the cell phone, amid an enormous crowd who gathered for the bon fire.

“About what?”

“I guess Bette said that there is a big BBQ planned around noon tomorrow at the school. She was hoping we might all get together before the game for a few hours, because she heard it can get really crazy once everyone is in the stadium. We might not have a chance to hook up with one another once it gets started.”

“Oh…well that’s fine. What time are you and Tina leaving?”

“I haven’t talked to Tina yet. I have to call her. I wanted to see if you wanted to head out earlier. I know we talked about going in the afternoon for the game, but wasn’t sure if you had any plans that would prevent us from leaving earlier for the BBQ.”

Truth was, Dana hadn’t had any plans. She was between a rock and a hard place. She was a closeted lesbian who wasn’t willing to come out yet, and also wasn’t open to dating guys just to divert attention from herself. She considered telling people she was just a-sexual so she wouldn’t have to explain her lack of dating. “No, I don’t have any plans.”

“Cool. Well I’ll call Tina and see if she wants to go with us, earlier.”

“Alright, let me know.”

“I’ll call you right back, I’ll call Tina now.”

“Okay.”

Alice was probably the most excited of all the girls, for Joe would be participating in the game, which made attending it even more thrilling. She quickly dialed Tina, hoping that if she was somewhere in the crowd, she would be able to hear her cell phone ring.

#

“Just call her,” Diane suggested as they stood shoulder to shoulder, the bon fire a mere 15 feet from them.

“I don’t know.”

“It isn’t like you get up to Stanford all the time. I’m telling you TK, if you have regrets now they will only get worse unless you roll those sleeves up and reclaim her.”

Tina didn’t have enough confidence in herself anymore. She struggled with the idea that it would be unreasonable and hypocritical to vie for the woman that she had walked out on. In this short amount of time, Diane understood where Tina was, but also realized that it was far worse to think about what could have been than to take the necessary steps at reconciling a wrong. While Tina gave more thought to Diane’s words, she felt her cell phone vibrate in her jean pocket. She reached in a pulled it out, noticing Alice’s name on the screen just before she flipped it open and blocked her other ear so she could listen. “Hello.”

“Hey Tee. I just got off the phone with Dana. Shane called me earlier and said that Bette was in touch with her and wanted to see if we could all get up to Stanford a little earlier tomorrow…like around noon.”

“For what?”

“They are going to be having a big BBQ and some people are also tailgaiting up from Cal to have some in the parking lot too.”

“Oh, um…is it okay if I see if Diane can come along too?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Hold on.” Tina placed the phone against her chest as she spoke to Diane. Diane was all for it, knowing that it would be a unique opportunity for Tina to be in Bette’s company, though she didn’t share her thoughts with her friend. “Hey, yeah…Diane says cool.”

“Alright. Well why don’t we head out around 1030 tomorrow morning?”

“Sounds good. Call me in the morning.”

“I will. See ya.”

“Bye.” Tina flipped the phone shut, then lost herself in the chaos around her. Her thoughts began anticipating her encounter with Bette the next day.

#

As the orgasm ripped through Bette’s body, her legs weakened and body slumped onto Jan. Her mouth was pressed firmly against Jan’s shirt, a safe barrier to which her vocals had surrendered at the moment she climaxed.

Jan held Bette tight, slowly lowering her to the seat which welcomed Bette’s tired body.   
“How was that?” She asked quietly.

“In...fucking…credible,” Bette responded in a tone slightly higher than a whisper.

As Bette sat with her panties partially exposed by the unzipped jeans, a sales clerk had begun making her end of the evening room inspections. 

“We are closing in 15 minutes,” the clerk announced as she gathered spare hangers from a few of the vacant rooms.

“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute,” Jan called out.

Bette reached down and slowly zipped her fly and fastened the button to her pants. “You are so naughty.”

“You love it.”

Bette stared into Jan’s eyes, contemplating that word, the word that held so much meaning but which she used with caution when it came to romantic interests. “I do…I love it…and…I love you.”


	108. Chapter 108

CHAPTER 108

Jan felt the water fill the lids of her eyes. She was embarrassed at the amount of emotion that had flowed easily. “I’m sorry,” she said lightly.

Bette and Jan both stood from the bench. “Don’t be.”

“It means so much to hear that coming from you.”

Bette gathered the panties they had picked out, and followed Jan out of the dressing room. As they made their way to the sales counter, Jan explained that she never expected to be able to reach Bette so deep. She was quite aware of the deep and intimate connection she and Tina had, and therefore never expected to hear those words come, at least not this soon.

#

That evening, following each schools celebrations, Bette and Jan had taken advantage of the fact that Bette would be alone in her dorm. They had sex several times throughout the evening, each moment followed by tender embraces and warm cuddling. 

As Jan felt Bette’s arm draped over her while they spooned, her thoughts began to get the best of her. “Bette, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Bette replied with sleep in her voice.

“Do you ever want to get married?”

Bette’s eyes opened wide. Was it a generic question, or one which was literally being asked of her? 

Jan felt Bette’s arm stiffen following her inquiry. She turned over to look at her young lover. “Babe?”

“I’m sorry…I guess I never gave it a lot of thought to be honest.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I suppose I have always thought of marriage as being between a man and a woman. Once I realized I was gay I just didn’t give much consideration to whether I would or not.”

“I want to,” Jan admitted as she drew circles around Bette’s areola. It wasn’t her intention to arouse the brunette, but to stimulate her own closeness by means of touch. “I am tired of dating.”

“It’s not like you have dated for years. You have all the time in the world,” Bette reasoned.

“I know, but I also know what I want. I like to feel settled. I like the feeling of knowing you never have to put yourself out there on display again, hoping that someone finds you attractive enough to ask you out.”

Bette contemplated Jan’s opinion. Deep down she felt very much the same. Hitting clubs and being pro-active wasn’t something that interested Bette very much. If a potential love interest happened to fall into her lap by chance, that was one thing. However, to go and seek it with some type of drive didn’t suit her personality well.

“I think I know what you mean,” Bette replied. “I guess I’m kind of like that too. If I happen upon it then that’s good. Otherwise…I guess I just tend to be alone.”

Jan smiled at the thought of them both sharing the same opinion. “I am hoping to marry before I get out of college.”

“Really?” Bette was surprised by this admission. “Why?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t you want to have your degree accomplished first?”

“Not really. I don’t see any reason to put life on hold because things must happen in a particular order that seems to be a trend or something. I’m not big into trends.”

Bette rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, contemplating her own future. Jan cuddled in closer to her. “What are you think about baby?”

“I’m thinking that I never really gave it that much thought, but that to me it would be more ideal to have graduated from college, be in a job a couple of years, and then maybe think about it.”

Jan dragged her fingernails up and down Bette’s abdomen. “You like order to things, I get that. But I also think that no matter what order you do things in, it never really matters because life has a way of throwing curve balls at you anyway.”

“I suppose so.” Bette hadn’t given as much thought to marriage as she did laying with Jan for that short time following their love making. The discussion sparked enough thoughts to surface and prompted a few hidden feelings to return. 

#

“Well isn’t that the sexiest little thing,” Diane noted when she walked into her dorm room and found Tina wearing a short cut Cal t-shirt with a pair of capri jeans that fit her body like a glove.

Tina looked down at her outfit. “Ya think?”

“Oh yeah. I’ll put money down that it drives Bette crazy. She’ll want to get in your pants and forget all about what’s her name.”

Tina chuckled. “I wish I was as confident as you.’

“Well my friend, that’s step number one. You have to believe you can win her back before you even try. If you don’t believe it first, then how do you expect to come off believable to her?”

Tina slumped onto her bed. “I don’t know. I sure hope you’re right Diane.”

Diane looked at the ceiling, pretending to be thinking. “Um…I don’t believe I have ever been wrong.” She giggled then looked at her watch. “We better make some calls and be sure everyone is up and ready to get going soon.”

Tina looked at her own watch. “I know. I’ll give Al a call.”

Once the girls touched base, they piled into Diane’s car and headed for Shane’s. There they would pick Shane up and continue on to Stanford Stadium for the Big Game.

#

Alice phoned Bette and located where she was in the congested parking lot. Cars were bumper to bumper going in one direction, while others which were parked were cramped with students all decked out in the colors of their school. “Jesus, you would think that they were giving something big away for free.”

Diane was amused by the girls. She had shared the historic rivalry between the two schools as they made the drive to Stanford, but no matter how much she shared, it couldn’t prepare them for what they would actually experience. 

“Damn, look at all those smoking hot chicks!” Shane exclaimed. “Check out the redhead at nine o’clock.”

“I can’t stand redheads,” Alice complained.

“Hey wasn’t Dane a red –“ 

Dana nudged Shane hard. She didn’t want Diane knowing about her sexuality or the fact that she and Alice had been together. Shane abruptly refrained from continuing the story. Later, once the car was parked and the girls got out and stretched, Dana took Shane aside and explained that she wasn’t “out” at school and wanted to keep things that way. Shane was surprised by the admission, and wondered how she and Alice were keeping their relationship a secret on campus. She would learn that they were no longer together and that Alice’s new interest was one of the bright stars on the football team. When they both returned their attention to the car, it was then they noticed Bette walking towards them with Jan.


	109. Chapter 109

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another two back to back chapters! Enjoy everyone.

CHAPTER 109

Jan rushed towards Shane and gave her a huge hug. “Oh my god I’m so happy to see you girl!”

Shane lifted Jan and twirled her in one full circle as Jan held onto her hug. “You look great! How are things going?”

“Awesome!” Jan replied reaching to grab hold of Bette’s hand. “Bette and I have been having a lot of fun these days.”

Diane and Tina were on the other side of the car, watching the girls greet one another. “Wow.”

“What?” Tina asked.

“I knew she was pretty, but she’s a lot more attractive in person.”

Tina glanced over the hood of the car at her ex. “She’s beautiful.”

“You have nothing to worry about TK.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. That chick over there straddling Shane’s waist…she isn’t long term.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can just tell. They won’t be together for a very long time.”

“How can you tell?”

“I don’t know…just can. A sixth sense perhaps?”

Tina wished with all her heart that Diane was right. This was the first time she would be in Bette’s company while another woman claimed rights to her. It was awkward to say the least, and a feeling which she knew Bette must have felt when she saw her with Johnny.

After the chaos settled down a little, Tina and Diane walked from the side of the car to where the gang was hanging on the other side. Jan immediately checked Tina out. 

“Hi Bette,” Tina said softly, taking a few steps closer so they would hug.

“Hey Tee.” Bette received Tina’s offer and embraced her. “How have you been?”

“Good…you?”

“Yeah, good.” Bette slowly released her embrace, her nose noting the familiar perfume that Tina had always worn. She took a step back, taking in Tina in her entirety. “You look great.”

Tina felt herself go shy. “Thank you.”

Within a few minutes Jan sashayed over to Bette and wrapped her arms around Bette’s waist. “You look great too baby,” Jan said as she kissed Bette’s cheek.

Bette’s smile was uncomfortable. “Um…well anyway, we hauled the grill over and have a cooler filled with food –“

“I hope you snuck something else in the cooler!” Shane was banking on Bette coming through and stocking it up with some beers.

Bette laughed. “Do you honestly think I would forget?”

Bette started walking towards the trunk of the car she had only recently acquired. It was an old volkswagon that a freshman girl was selling. The price was a steal, which caused Bette to dip into her savings.

“Is this yours?” Dana asked.

“Yep. One of the new girls that started this year decided she wanted to sell it.” Bette looked over at Jan. She knew that in order for them to meet up with one another, it would require a means of transportation between schools. “I wasn’t sure I was even going to bother with a car but now I’m glad I did.” 

The girls each did something to bring their cookout to life. Alice spread the large blanket on the lawn which their vehicles were parked beside, while Dana fiddled with the radio stations on the small boom box that Shane had brought with her. Bette and Jan worked on placing the burgers and dogs on the grill, while Tina and Diane helped Shane unpack the plastic cutlery and plates that Bette had brought.

Soon after all the preparations were done, most of the girls made themselves comfortable on the blanket and began updating one another as to what was going on in their lives, how their classes were going, what professors they liked and disliked, and how they couldn’t wait for their winter break. 

As the conversations ensued, Tina couldn’t keep herself from staring at both Bette and Jan who continued watching over the food as it cooked. She felt herself feeling extremely jealous by what she was missing out on…the light touch of Bette’s hand on the small part of her back…the brief peck on the lips. Those small and tender acts of affection caused Tina to yearn even more for what she had lost. At the same time, seeing how happy Bette appeared forced her to face the fact that the reality of reclaiming what they had before might be nearly impossible.

#

By the time 345pm rolled around, everyone was pretty pumped up for the start of the game. Jan was just finishing the final stroke of face paint on Alice’s cheek which showed her support for Cal. 

“What an improvement!” Bette joked.

“Shut it Porter, you’re just jealous that we have a better football team than you guys.”

“Jan you might want to give Alice a facecloth so the paint doesn’t run into her eyes from the tears she is going to cry when they lose.”

Jan laughed as Alice and Bette continued their typical banter. “Anyone else want some face paint?” Jan looked over to Tina. “Tina?”

“No thanks. I’m all set.”

“Who do you think is going to come out the winner?” Jan asked, a tone which prompted Tina to immediately wonder if it was just the game she was referring to.

“I guess whoever is the better one.” Tina crossed her arms, prepared for a face off. The jealousy that she had been trying to contain from the moment she set eyes on Jan and Bette was growing.

“Yeah…but…it’s not always the one who tries the hardest.” 

While most of the girls had their eyes set on the field as they made their way towards their seats, Diane and Bette were focusing more on the discussion that had started between Tina and Jan.

Shane was the first one to slide by a few girls who had already taken a seat near the aisle. She was followed by Alice and then Dana. Diane watched the way everyone was making their way to the seats, and started turning the wheels on how she would make it so that Bette would be sitting with Tina on one side of her. 

“Um, Jan you should probably take a seat,” Diane suggested.

Jan’s attention remained diverted. She hadn’t realized that in taking a seat next to Dana, that Bette would then be available to have someone sit to her right after she took a seat next to her.

“Go ahead Bette…I’m sure you’ll want to sit near Jan.” Diane hid her calculating actions by trying to come across as being thoughtful. 

“Thanks,” Bette said as she sat next to Jan.

“Tina, you can take a seat next.”

When Tina finally stopped sparring with Jan, she realized just where she would be sitting. Without reservation she took a seat beside Bette. Diane then sat on the other side of Tina. It wasn’t until Diane was seated did Jan recognize that the seating arrangements had resulted in Tina being on just the other side of her girlfriend.


	110. Chapter 110

CHAPTER 110

Jan leaned in towards Bette to whisper her words. “How about we change seats?”

Bette’s radar wasn’t working as well as it normally would be, therefore she didn’t grasp the reason. “Why?” she whispered back.

Jan would show just how shy she wasn’t. “I would be far more comfortable with your ex not sitting on the other side of you.”

Bette didn’t want there to be any problems. “It’s no big deal.”

“It is to me. I’m not liking how convenient this seating arrangement became. She’s calculating.”

“Jan –“

“Bette, I want to have a good time here like everyone else, and that isn’t going to happen with her sitting there. If you don’t move then I’m going to say something directly to her.”

She sensed by Jan’s body language and tone at that point, that things might become volatile should she remain seated where she was. Hoping to avoid any additional jealousy, she promptly stood and switched seats with Jan.

Tina inconspicuously nudged Diane, who was both surprised and angered by the change that was clearly motivated by spite. The final hourly train whistle ripped through the crowded stadium at 4pm, signaling the start of the game. While the crowd cheered for their respective teams, Tina and Diane took advantage of the racket around them and began whispering back and forth…naturally Jan was the principal focus of their conversation.

#

It had been quite the event for each of the girls. They recalled that memorable day by documenting the experience on their respective Myspace and Facebook pages. Following the game, Tina had attempted to have a few private moments with Bette so she could talk to her, but each one never materialized due to Jan’s intentional interruptions. The day didn’t turn out anywhere near what Tina had hoped for, and soon she had begun realizing that sometimes you only have one chance; when you fuck it up, you risk losing that person forever. Though Diane tried her best to encourage Tina to fight for Bette, Tina had found herself in a place where not only did she feel that she didn’t have a right to, but that it was far too late. Fighting to get Bette back into her life should have happened over the summer, before Bette left for Italy. The time that had passed allowed Bette to put up walls that would be hard to penetrate, and then open her heart to a new prospect. Yeah, sometimes you just only have one chance.

The remaining days of their semester passed by quicker than they could anticipate. Before they realized it, Fall had turned to Winter and the semester came to a close for the holiday break. This time, each of them returned home to their families to celebrate in their traditional ways.

This break allowed the girls to get together, which naturally included Jan’s presence. By this time Tina had decided to let go. She attempted to keep communication going between she and Bette following the “Big Game,” but didn’t feel there was as much interest from her in return. Some would say you could go back, but could you? Could you ever really? Tina closed that chapter in her life and chose to let life lead her in whatever direction it would. Returning home during the holidays had allowed her father to once more put pressure on her to find the perfect husband. Jerry’s insistence that his daughter find a man and not a woman was something that both Catherine and Tina thought had waned once she went off to school, and especially when Catherine had taken a firm stand with him just before Tina had left. While in the company of her small minded father, Tina had started to give his views and expectations deeper thought. In her heart, the only woman she ever could have seen herself spending the rest of her life with wasn’t available to her and likely never would be. With that opinion buried deep in her soul, Tina began giving serious thought to walking the path of expectation and what society had always termed traditional. The last month had brought changes in terms of the on and off again relationship she shared with Helena as well. Distance between the two had eventually formed, and they both seemed to have fallen into a different relationship without even having realized it until it happened. They continued to keep in touch, but the relationship was completely platonic.

#

Five months later…..

“When is Eric coming by?” Diane asked.

Tina looked at her watch. “In about thirty minutes. You know him, always mister punctual so I better be ready to roll when he arrives.”

Diane taped the last box which contained all her toiletries. “Where did this year go?””

“No kidding. I still can’t believe it’s May. I’m looking forward to the summer though.”

“I bet you are. Did he tell you where he was taking you?”

“Nope. He said it would be a surprise. I can’t wait to go though. Two weeks away from school and home will be nice.”

“Is it right after the 4th of July weekend or the weekend after that?”

“We are leaving on Sunday the 5th of July and not coming back until the 18th.”

“Nice,” Diane said as she sat on the bare mattress. “I have to tell you TK, I was really surprised when you and him hit it off at that big party in February. After how much you had said about Bette before the “Big Game” and where you were emotionally, I was convinced that you were going to do all you could to get her back.”

In one sweep Tina gathered her panties and thongs into her hands and placed them into the cardboard box. “I guess life has a way of throwing you a few surprises.”

Diane hesitated to push, but with it being the last day before they moved she felt she didn’t need to care if Tina got a little upset with her, for they wouldn’t be rooming together anymore. “When you first told me about what your uncle did, and how confused you were, you said that you figured out that you were a lesbian. You said you were certain of it and couldn’t deny it. I guess I just don’t get that.”

Tina took hold of the wide roll of tape and secured the final box. “I have been really confused about my sexuality for a long time Di.” Tina wiped the sweat from her forehead before sitting down on the bed. “When I went home for break I did a lot of thinking…I mean A LOT.”

“ Yeah…and?”

“Well I realized one thing, and that was that Bette really was my one and only. I had really strong feelings for Helena, don’t get me wrong. However, I just never really felt all I did with Bette. It was hard for me to admit when I was with Hel, because I really wanted it to work. I guess I felt like I had failed so much with nearly every person I had been in an intimate relationship with, that I wanted to prove something to myself. I wanted to prove that I could be successful at it. I let go of that goal when I came to terms with the fact that my heart belonged to only one woman.”

“Okay, but if that’s the case then how can you honestly say that you can give your heart to Eric?”

Tina felt slightly uncomfortable. “Diane, I’m not sure you could understand. The options left to me are few.”

“Can you explain?”

“I can sit here and say to you today, that Bette was my first and last true love. She is with Jan, and rumor has it that they are going to get a place together for the summer. I’m sure it won’t take very long before we hear they have tied the knot.”

Diane started to laugh. “You are jumping to some huge conclusions TK.”

“I’m not. I know Bette. She isn’t one to run around and play the field. She likes to feel settled with one person. If Jan makes her happy and is the one, then…then I have to be unselfish and just be happy for her. In the meantime, realizing that I wouldn’t want to be with any other woman, I decided it was best that I just look towards the more traditional path.”

“Guys…”

“Yeah.”

“But if you aren’t really attracted to them in the same way…”

“It’s not that I’m not attracted at all. It’s … different. Plus, Eric really does make me happy. We have been having a lot of fun together, and we have a lot in common. Maybe the first boy I was with just wasn’t the one you know? I think I just pushed myself so much towards Johnny that I wasn’t very selective. I pursued something with him more to prove something to myself then because there was something in common and stuff. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I sort of do I suppose.”

“Like…with Eric we just seemed to click at that party. It was weird. I sort of found myself feeling all excited as I waited for him to call. I hadn’t had the feeling in a long time.”

“Do you think you like the ‘feeling’ or is it really him?”

“No, it’s him. He’s so charming and intelligent. We really have a good time.”

“I know you do. I mean I do see that Tina. I don’t know…I suppose I haven’t ever been in your shoes so I wouldn’t know what it feels like to feel so confused.”

“Yeah.”

Diane wasn’t sure she should pose the question that came to mind, but her curiosity about how Tina would answer it outweighed everything else. Before she realized it, she was asking the question. “What if two months down the road Bette knocks on your door and says that she and Jan were through and she wants you back?”


	111. Chapter 111

CHAPTER 111

It was a question that Tina had asked herself many times, but it wasn’t in recent days, weeks or even months. She had been asking herself that question back when she was finding herself involved with Helena. It was the first real relationship she embarked on since their breakup, and so it was natural that the question would come…what would she do if Bette were to knock on her door and ask her to come back? Time had given Tina the answer, for it passed without Bette ever making an attempt to reconcile.

“That isn’t going to happen Di. There isn’t a doubt in my mind.”

“But what if?” Diane urged. “What if you are just accepting that it may never change, so you are taking what you can get?” Diane realized how harsh it sounded, but she considered Tina to be a good friend, and would rather see her friend questioning where her feet were planted now, than later when life and time might not be as forgiving.

“That isn’t what I’m doing. I won’t lie to you…” Tina hesitated as she reflected for a moment on the time she and Bette shared in the high school, it was fun, happy, stimulating, and fulfilling. “…I will always have a special place in my heart for Bette. That will never change no matter where my life takes me.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know. It’s something you know. I’m not one to be spiteful or bitter, and neither is Bette. What I have seen in some relationships that fall apart, is there is usually one or both that throw as many punches as possible. It’s immature…and it isn’t what we are about.”

“I doubt either of you would ever act like children. I just worry…I worry because you are someone I’ve gotten to know pretty well in this short time, and though I only met Bette once, I could see your eyes light up in her presence.”

Before Tina could answer there was a knock at the door. “That must be Eric.” She walked over to the door and opened it, finding the handsome young man smiling as he was caught fixing his hair.

“Hey,”

“Hi you,” Tina said as she placed a small kiss on his cheek. 

“Hi Eric,” Diane said looking from him to the boxes. “Hope you are ready to do some work.”

Eric laughed. “Sure…hard work has never scared me any.”

Diane and Tina laughed as each grabbed an item to bring down to Eric’s car.

#

“Okay, open your eyes,” Bette instructed as Jan stood in one place.

“I smell fresh paint,” Jan admitted before opening her eyes to the most amazing mural she had ever seen. “Oh wow. Bette…it…it’s absolutely stunning.”

“I don’t usually find my work to be without some form of criticism…from myself that is. However, this one…” Bette paused as she took in the beauty of the crisp colors that came to life. “…this one I am really proud of.”

Jan approached the life like picture and reached forward to touch it. “May I?”

“It’s dry. Sure.”

Jan’s fingers traced each cloud in the sky, then followed the peaks of each mountain top. The mural was of two large windows, whose panes revealed pine trees and snow capped mountains in the distance, amid pink hues of weightless clouds. “It is absolutely amazing. It makes the living room seem so much more larger…peaceful.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“When the hell did you have time to do this?”

“I’ve been coming here off and on for a little while now. I knew I was taking a big chance by renting the place without you even seeing it. I hope you are okay with the place.”

Jan turned back towards Bette and gave her a big hug. “I’m more than okay with it. I’m thrilled with it.”

Bette laughed. “But you haven’t even seen the whole place yet.”

“I don’t have to. As long as I’m with you baby, I’m happy no matter where we live.”

Bette smiled at the young girl who was filled with so much energy. “I’m glad you are okay with it. I was a little worried.”

Jan slipped her hands around Bette’s waist and rested them inside the back pockets of her jeans. “Aww, don’t worry. It’s all good.” Jan leaned in and gave Bette a kiss on her lips. When she pulled back, she glanced around the nearly empty room. “Will we get some furniture in here?”

“Sure we will. I was hoping to hit a few yard sales this weekend.”

“Cool. What about a bed?” Jan snickered as she raised a brow towards Bette. “I mean, I have no problem doing it on the floor…I think you know that now don’t ya?”

Bette laughed as she remembered the first time Jan had suggested they forego the bed one night and sleep on the floor of her dorm. “That I know. It was quite a night as I recall.”

“Suppose we’ll have to reminisce in the proper way tonight now won’t we?”

Bette and Jan giggled as they broke into a tickling match.

#

While Bette and Jan settled into their apartment near their school, Tina and Eric had been progressing along in their relationship as well. It had come as a surprise to Shane, Dana and Alice when they learned that Tina was moving in with Eric. They were slightly more accepting of Bette doing so as they hadn’t really kept in close contact, with the exception of Shane making more of an effort since the “Big Game.”

Once again, the summer arrived and found everyone getting together more than they had when they were in school. The exception to this was Bette, who had made few trips south towards home.

Tina did her best to merge Eric with her friends, but he wasn’t as accepting of the “lifestyle” they lived, which posed a slight problem for Tina. She cared very much for her friends, and didn’t want to lose them at the expense of a relationship. She felt that if Eric would allow himself the opportunity to get to know them, he may be less judgmental. This was something she planned on working on before the summer came to an end.

In either case, both young girls were finding their lives filled with distance and less interaction than ever before.


	112. Chapter 112

CHAPTER 112

Shane had soon realized that her move back home for the summer wasn’t the best decision. The dysfunction within her family was causing more stress than she could endure, and though it was hard to have distance between she and her high school friends, moving back to her cousin Gary’s was necessary.

“Why is it that we all seem to be crumbling?” Alice complained to Dana while driving to the small diner that they had agreed to meet Shane at.

“I don’t know, but it does appear that things aren’t what they use to be when we were in high school, that’s for sure.”

By the time the Spring semester came to a close, Alice and Joe had split. The attention he received as the school’s star football player left Alice often having to compete for his affection and time. She found herself spending more time with Dana, and although they hadn’t resumed an intimate relationship while in school, the old and familiar rush of feelings had been coming back since they had returned home for the summer.

“Look at Tina, when is the last time we really got to spend some time with her? She is so caught up in her relationship with Eric, that we never get to see her now.”

“I know, but at the same time if she is happy then that should be enough for us.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Dane, there is more to maintaining a friendship than just finding some happiness that your friend’s life is going well.”

Dana let out a deep sigh. Alice was right, but it was easier to just live in a state of avoidance. It had bothered her that she hadn’t found herself confident enough to keep her relationship going with Alice once they had gotten to school. In a big way, she was quite disappointed in herself. There was a good chance that she could have lost Alice to Joe for good…or even another woman. Even now, there was no guarantee that Alice would even be interested in trying to get back together, and if they did, for how long? They would once again return to school and if Dana wasn’t prepared to engage in a relationship with a woman while there, then it would once again become a problem.

“What?” Alice questioned, noticing the sigh.

“Nothing.”

“No, it’s something. You don’t breathe that hard for no reason at all.”

“It’s nothing…I just sighed.”

Alice pulled over to the side of the road, prompting Dana’s curiosity. “What are you doing?”

“I’m pulling over.”

“What for? We’re going to be late.”

“It’s fine if we are a few minutes late. What gives?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Will you just stop? I know that you have something going on in that head. I’ve known you too well for you to be able to deny it.”

Dana wrinkled her nose and brows in frustration. It was true that Alice was one of the closest people in her life, and because of that she knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. 

“Come on Dane…tell me.”

Like Alice knew Dana well, so did she know her friend and ex girlfriend. Alice was too damn persistent to successfully ignore. “I guess I’m just really saddened by these changes. I always thought that we would all be friends for life.”

Alice tilted her head to the side as she reflected with sentiment. “That’s what I’m saying…it really hurts to think that everything is so fucked up. Bette is living with that other girl…what’s her name –“

“Jan.”

“Yeah…Jan. We never get to see her much less hear from her. Tina is with Eric, who you know isn’t so thrilled with gay people, so I doubt we will see much of her. Shane is now moving back to school, so you know that we won’t be able to hang out like we had all hoped to do. It’s like nothing we had thought was going to happen did.”

“…then…us,” Dana added sheepishly.

Alice was surprised by Dana’s inclusion. It had been her choice to keep their relationship a secret and then just end it completely. Alice was prepared to do her best to maintain their relationship in as private a way as possible while they were in school, respecting Dana’s discomfort. However, Dana was too concerned about her sexuality becoming known and surrendered her relationship…something which continued to bother her.

“I’m sorry,” Alice replied. “It isn’t what I wanted to see happen.”

“I know, and you aren’t the one who should be apologizing.”

Alice and Dana’s eyes locked as they reflected on all that had been between them at one time. 

#

Jan slipped her hands around Bette’s waist as the brunette attempted to hang a painting on one of the living room walls. 

“Hey, you wouldn’t want me to drop this would you?” 

Jan smiled as she pressed her face against Bette’s back. “No, because then you would be upset and I wouldn’t want that.”

Bette straightened the painting and eyed it once, then twice, before turning around. “You,” she pointed a finger in admonishment. “You are naughty.”

“I can be,” Jan said arching a brow. 

“I know.”

“What do you want to get for dinner?” Jan asked. 

“I don’t know. What are you in the mood for?”

Jan grabbed Bette’s hand and brought her to the sofa. “Whatever. I’m pretty game for whatever you decide.”

“How about you call in an order for some Mexican and I’ll go and pick it up?”

“Mmmm, that sounds wonderful. Where are the menu’s?” Jan looked at the pile of boxes that were still yet to be unpacked.

“I think they were packed last…sooo…maybe the second one from the bottom there.” Bette watched Jan go to the boxes, as she opened the one Bette had instructed, it wasn’t a menu she found at the top staring back at her, it was something else altogether. 

#

“You feel like catching a movie?” Eric asked.

Tina lifted her head from the sofa pillow. “Maybe. What do you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that it’s been a long time since we have gone to the movies.”

“I know it has. What’s playing?”

“That I don’t know either,” Eric laughed as he turned towards Tina’s laptop which was on the coffee table closest to him. “Do you want me to take a look online to see what’s playing?”

“Sure, just nothing scary. I hate scary movies.”

Eric smiled. “That could be a good thing for me.”

“How so?”

“Well, then you will be grabbing onto me for dear life.”

Tina threw her pillow at Eric. “You’re crazy. You don’t need an excuse for me to cling to you.”

Eric laughed as he began accessing Tina’s laptop. “This thing runs slow. Have you done any defrag recently?”

“Defrag? Are you serious? I don’t do a thing to it.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “Babe, you have to do maintenance on your computer to keep it running well. I’ll take a look at it if you want and get rid of your cookies and stuff.”

“Okay. In the meantime, I’m going to take a shower.” Tina stood from the sofa and gave Eric a short kiss on the lips before heading to the bathroom.

Eric watched as his girlfriend sashayed from the room. He felt he was the luckiest man alive, for he was extremely happy in his relationship with Tina. They seemed to have had clicked so well since they had met in December, and he was pleased that he decided to ask her to share an apartment together.

As he perused through her computer, he decided to clear out her “recent files.” When he opened the folder, he wasn’t prepared for what he discovered.


	113. Chapter 113

CHAPTER 113

Jan stood in one place, her back to Bette as she stared down at the inside of the box.

Bette looked over at Jan, noticing her lack of movement. “Is it there?” When Bette didn’t receive a response, she stood from the sofa and walked over to the box. “Did you find…”

Jan had brought the photo from the box to her face for a closer look. There was no question who it was. The question that did come was why on earth Bette had such a provocative picture of Tina.

Bette reached for the picture, and without saying a word she placed it back in the box. “Um…we can just call information and get a hold of the phone number.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” Jan said as she abruptly turned from the living room to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Bette questioned.

Before slamming the bathroom door shut, Jan shouted her reply, “to vomit!”

Bette closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She reached back into the box and picked up the picture of Tina. The pictures they had taken of one another when they were together had been meaningful. Why she had even bothered to pack them when she went off to school was something she couldn’t seem to answer. The picture evoked feelings which Bette was forcing herself to deny. No matter what she may have felt for Tina, and perhaps still did, life brought them in different directions. Tina was living the life that would make her parents most proud, and probably provide an easier path for parenthood than what it would take if she was with a woman. She gently placed the picture back into the box and walked towards the bathroom.

#

Eric wasn’t in the company of Tina’s friends long enough to learn about any history she had with Bette, let alone a woman. Her past was something she kept quiet about, and though she never asked the girls to remain silent about she and Bette, Eric’s opinions about homosexuality weren’t a secret.

Following her shower, Tina walked back into the living room wearing nothing but the towel she had wrapped around her. She stood behind the sofa and slipped her hands around Eric’s neck. “Did you defrag me baby?”

Eric’s body was stiff.

“Honey?”

When no response came, Tina walked around to the front of the sofa. Eric’s arms were folded, his eyes fixated on the coffee table in front of him. “Baby…what’s going on?” 

Eric didn’t flinch. His jaw was tight, his lips firm. Tina followed his eyes towards the top of the coffee table where the her laptop was sitting. Her eyes widened as she felt her throat close from panic. She didn’t know what to say. What could she say about a picture of Bette having oral sex with her? It was a picture they took one night when Bette was messing with her digital camera. She used the self timer to take several pictures of she and Tina having sex. It was suppose to be something they shared with one another, and not something which would ever be viewed by anyone else.

“It’s not what you think.” The words were lame, but it was all she seemed to be able to muster in the moment.

Eric broke his gaze and turned towards Tina. “You’re fucking kidding me right?”

Tina felt her face flush from the variety of feelings that overwhelmed her. She felt fear, shame, disappointment. “I…I was afraid to talk to you about that time in my life.”

“You’re a god damn lesbian!”

“NO!” Tina shot back. “No, I’m not. I was…well I thought I was…but I’m not, I’m not gay.”

Eric looked at the computer. “There is a fucking woman between your legs Tina. What do you call that?”

Eric had not identified the woman. Tina felt a small sense of relief that it didn’t seem that he was aware that it was Bette. “Eric, I can explain…just…just please don’t get angry with me.”

“Angry? You’ve taken me for a fucking ride here Tina. You’re into women and yet you decide to get into a relationship with me. What for? What do you think you will get out of it?”

Tina dropped to the floor and knelt in front of Eric. “Please just give me a chance to explain.”

Eric became silent. It was his way of allowing her a chance to share what she wanted. “I have always been confused about who I am. From when I was a young adolescent, I wasn’t sure why I seemed to feel closer to women in general. I seemed to just get on so much better with them. When it came to boys…they scared me. I could interact with them in sports and things that weren’t intimate.”

While Eric appeared to be listening, Tina continued. “There aren’t a lot of people who know this next part. I was molested by an uncle when I was younger. It wasn’t just a single incident. It occurred over a long period of time.” As Tina recalled her past, she started to weep. “I became close with someone, and found myself forming feelings for her. I’m not sure if they were really even sexual at first, but in the end it turned out that way. I struggled with needing answers…answers as to whether I felt safer with girls because of how I was violated by a man, or if it was who I was.”

Again Tina checked Eric’s body language for a sign as to whether she should continue. She took a chance and moved forward. “I ended up seeing this boy name Johnny, and we went together for a short time. My father adored him, because…well…he fit the expected role.”

“I can’t say I blame your father,” Eric commented, an edge of anger present in his voice.

Tina wasn’t pleased with how close Eric’s opinion of homosexuals matched her father’s. “Eric, regardless of what you think about gay people, the thing is…is that my father should have been accepting of me no matter what I chose in my life.”

“Well Tina, I’m sorry…I don’t agree.”

“Anyway…things didn’t work out with Johnny. Some friends told me that it was because I was meant to be with a woman, while I also heard from a few that maybe he just wasn’t the right guy. For a while I still questioned my sexuality…”

“Was she the only one?”

Tina knew if she admitted to being involved with Helena, that it would only make Eric more uncertain about her. “Eric, I’m explaining about the picture…and that time in my life.”

“So there have been others?” Eric’s question was more an accusation than an inquiry.

Tina looked up at her boyfriends face, scanning his eyes. “I’ve never asked you about your past. I’m with you now. You turn me on. We have great sex.” Tina searched for a small bit of reassurance that she was convincing Eric of where she wanted to be. She stood from the floor and placed one knee on the sofa, then placed her other bare knee on the other side of his body. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Eric watched as Tina straddled his body. 

“Proving something to you,” she replied just before unwrapping the towel and letting it fall behind her. She reached down and slowly slipped his belt from the loop, then pulled it so she could unclasp the buckle. Once the straps fell to the side, she unbuttoned his jeans. “Proving that I’m crazy about you….and that you turn me on.”

Tina was a hard woman to refuse, but Eric wasn’t feeling so impressed or convinced that the steps she was taking was anything more than going through the motions. As Tina began licking his neck, Eric voiced his feelings. “It’s all been a lie hasn’t it Tina?”

Tina pulled away from Eric and grabbed his hand. She pushed it hard between her legs, making sure his fingers found proof of what she was saying. “Is that a lie?” 

Eric couldn’t deny what his fingers had come in contact with. For certain Tina was aroused. “How do I know that it wasn’t that picture you just looked at moments ago? How can I believe that it’s me that you are wet for?”

Tina kept Eric’s hand at her center while she unzipped his fly with her other hand. “Was that damn picture present all the other times we made love and you found me wet?” When no answer came, Tina continued her effort to convince Eric that her encounter with this woman was in her past, and that was where it was going to remain. “I love you. I want you. This is the life I want…with you. Whatever I may have experimented with is in the past. If you want me…if I turn you on like you do me, then let me show you how into you I really am.

Eric felt his body responding to both Tina’s verbal stimulation as well as that which she had started with her hand. He wrapped his hands around her ass and stood from the sofa. As her legs wrapped tightly around him, he carried her towards the bedroom.


	114. Chapter 114

CHAPTER 114

Jan had refused to leave the bathroom, though Bette had persisted in asking her to do so. After giving up, Bette returned to the sofa. She was angry with herself for not taking care of the rest of the unpacking sooner, as she could have avoided all of this turmoil between she and Jan had she done so. Her attention turned towards the hallway when she heard the bathroom door open.

Jan returned to the living room with only a few remnants of eye makeup left that her tears had not washed away. An awkward silence shadowed the room.

“I’m sorry.” Bette’s words were sincere.

Jan appeared stiff. “I want you to get rid of it.”

“What?”

Jan took a few more steps towards Bette, until she was standing in front of her.   
“I don’t want it around. Why do you have it?”

“I don’t know? I just never got rid of it.”

“Are you still in love with her?”

The question was an honest one, and one which Bette didn’t wish to give much time considering. Tina was in her past, and the distance that had grown between them didn’t appear to even define a friendship.

“No. I am not still in love with her.”

“Then it should be easy to rip the picture up.”

Bette didn’t like being directed to do something. Although it was something which might be able to be reasoned, she also felt that her past was something she owned and nothing which the present should dictate or control.

“Why is it such a big deal to you? It’s not like that picture was taken while we were together.”

“Bette, how can you minimize this? This isn’t some old picture of you and her standing side by side in clothing. This is…it’s so intimate!”

“It’s my past.”

“Is it?”

“Yes it is!” Bette’s words were laced with anger. “I don’t do well with someone trying to control me Jan. We are together. We have been together for a while now. There isn’t anyone else in my life so why can’t you –“

Bette’s words were interrupted by a knock at her door.

#

Tina lay close to Eric. Her head rested on his chest while she gently traced patterns around his chest hair. Inside she wished he would shave his chest and back hair, but it wasn’t something she dared bring up, for he would immediately perceive that to be her way of feminizing him.

As his chest rose and fell following their intense love making, Tina hoped he was convinced of her feelings. She looked up at him, hoping to find some reassurance in his eyes. “Did that feel or sound like someone who didn’t want you?”

Eric turned his attention from the ceiling and looked at Tina. “No…it didn’t.”

Tina smiled, content with his response. She rolled towards him so her body was partially on top of his. “You interested in giving it another go?”

Eric was amused. “You think you have it in you Kennard?”

“Hell yeah.” Tina slipped her hand under the covers. “The question is…do you?” It didn’t take very long for Eric to become hard again from Tina’s stimulating touch. 

“I think you have your answer,” he replied just as he flipped her over onto her back.

#

Bette rose from the sofa. “Who the hell is this now? Their timing couldn’t be any worse.”

When Bette opened the door she was immediately clutched in the arms of a person she had little time to identify before feeling smothered by the embrace.

“Bette! Oh my gohd, look at a you. You steel so cute!” Rosalie slid her hands along both sides of Bette’s face, taking in the beauty before her. Her fingers pulled at the brunettes head, bringing her close to her. The kiss was brief, for Bette had pulled away almost as soon as their lips met.

“Who the hell is this?” Jan’s question suggested both jealousy and curiosity. 

Rosalie looked at Jan. “Excuse?”

“This is my friend Rosalie,” Bette said nervously, realizing her initial admission that the timing couldn’t be worse was more true than she could have possibly understood when she said it before answering the door. “Rosalie…this is my girlfriend Jan.”

Rosalie’s smile quickly faded. “Girlfriend. I thought she was just a house a mate for you darling.”

“Darling?” Jan repeated out loud.

Bette felt the tension growing quickly. Things were already heated between she and Jan before Rosalie’s arrival. She anticipated Rosalie taking the brunt of Jan’s ill feelings in the absence of Tina being in front of her.

“It’s just something they say.”

“Who’s they?”

“Her family…they are Italian. It’s nothing.” Bette looked at Rosalie, hoping that she would just let things go.

Jan felt her face warm from the anger that she couldn’t seem to let go. “I am going for a ride. I need to clear my head.”

Bette and Rosalie watched quietly as Jan grabbed her jacket and car keys. Rosalie stepped aside allowing her to pass by. 

“I’m sorry. I just a wanted to surprise a you.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. We had a small disagreement just before your arrival.”

“Should you go after her?”

Bette looked past Rosalie, watching as Jan got into the car. “No. It’s probably best she have some time alone. Come in and sit. Can I get you something?”

Rosalie smiled as she looked lovingly at Bette. No doubt this young girl was still harboring some very strong feelings for her. “I just want to be able to a stare at you.”

Bette laughed. “Stare?”

“Yes. I missed you so very much.”

Though Bette didn’t look at Rosalie in the same way she did her, it was still quite nice to see her again. They had tried to keep in touch via their Myspace page and email, but things had gotten busy, and Bette hadn’t looked into getting the internet connected in her new apartment just yet. 

Rosalie couldn’t take her eyes off of Bette. The sad reality was that this girl could be head over heals for Bette Porter, but those type of feelings were not mutual. Bette felt Rosalie’s eyes piercing through her every pore.


	115. Chapter 115

CHAPTER 115

“Um…so how did you find me?” Bette’s question was a valid one, as she and Jan hadn’t been in the area very long at all.

Rosalie chuckled. “My father has his a ways. You should know that a by now darling.”

Bette’s brows rose. “Your father?” The thought of the small Italian man she had met during her visit to Italy brought back some of the fears she once had in his presence. “Is he still grinding up meat?”

“Yes! He does such a good a job at the market!”

“Yeah….still wonder what kind of meat he grinds,” Bette said under her breath.

“Pardon?”

“Oh…nothing.”

Rosalie grabbed hold of Bette’s hand and led her to the sofa. “Please…tell me all about what has been a happening with you.”

Bette took a seat, with Rosalie edging her way a little closer to her. “Well, I’m looking forward to my second year of school. I did pretty well the first year, so I’m hoping to continue getting some really good grades.”

“You will. I know you will.”

“How about you?”

“I am so bored back at the family home. I want so much a more. I wish I could come to America to live.”

“There are some good schools here for sure. Do you think your father would allow you to?”

“No. He has made it a very clear, that my responsibilities are to the family.”

“I’m surprised that he let you even come for a visit.”

“I was miserable. He didn’t like a me being so cranky.” Rosalie laughed as she recalled her behavior.

“Wow, I can only imagine how bad you were if he was willing to send you out of the country.” Bette grinned. “When did you arrive?”

“I came here directly from a the airport. I rented a car.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I would love to be able to see some sites while I’m a here.”

“Well how long will you be staying?”

“About a week.”

“Did you book a hotel?”

“I had a hard time getting a room for this a night. The rest of a the week I am okay.”

Bette didn’t want Rosalie just staying anywhere. “Well, if you don’t mind hanging on the sofa, you are welcome to stay here.”

“Yes? You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Rosalie lunged towards Bette once again, gathering her in her arms and hugging her tight. As Bette attempted to breathe, she knew she had to make sure that Rosalie understood where she was in terms of the relationship that defined them. She gently slipped from the strong embrace and straightened her shirt. 

“Rosalie, I want to be sure that you completely understand that you and I…we are just friends. As I told you before, when we were back in Italy…I am flattered by your interest, really I am. But –“

“I don’t understand. What about a the other girl that ended up being your friend?”

“Who?” Bette gave Rosalie’s question some thought. There wasn’t too many people that Rosalie knew who were Bette’s friends. Then it came to her, Tina Kennard. “Oh, do you mean Tina?”

“Yes. Yes that’s a her name.”

“Well we really haven’t even been keeping in touch at all now. It’s been quite some time.”

“Oh?”

“Maybe eight months since we last spoke. Last I heard she was seeing some guy from school.”

“A boy?”

“Yes.”

“When did you find this a new girl?”

“I met Jan through a mutual friend. Then she ended up going to college near Stanford. We’ve been seeing each other for awhile now, and just decided to move in together.”

Rosalie looked into Bette’s eyes. “Are you in love with her?”

“Sure. Sure I am. I wouldn’t have made such a big move to live together if I wasn’t.”

Rosalie wasn’t so sure. She had only known Bette for a very short time, but there seemed to be something missing from her eyes. They didn’t have the spark that they should.

“Are you certain?”

“Certain? About loving Jan?”

“No…about being “in” love with her.”

“Love and in love…it’s all the same really.”

“No. No, no, no. You are a fool Bette a Porter if you believe a that.”

Bette was surprised by Rosalie’s passion. 

“You can love people for many a reasons. But there is a big a difference. Being in love…it…it’s imagining yourself walking beside your love as you grow old. It’s about…a…a state of mind where companionship love is deeper than passionate love.”

Bette didn’t understand. “What do you mean by that?”

Rosalie smiled. “When I was in school I had a psychology class which I had to a take. I didn’t think it would be quite interesting. I was so wrong. Companionship love is a that type of a love that is based on unique compatibility and genuine admiration. It is a love that goes so deep, that it sustains you. It’s characterized by things like a …affection…trust…attachment…understanding.”

“And passionate love?” Bette asked, completely fascinated by Rosalie’s point of view.

“Ah, well passionate love is based on just a spark. It’s a feeling that makes you feel alive, sort of like the intensity of a sexual attraction…but it fades when the fire goes away. It’s a surface love.”

Bette gave some thought to what Rosalie had just said. “I think there needs to be some spark in any relationship that becomes intimate.”

“True, but if that spark should a burn out, it a becomes mundane and cannot sustain like a companionship love. The best kind of love transitions from the passionate love to the companionship love. It doesn’t happen for everyone and can be unusual. I think…when you find both…you are “in” love.”


	116. Chapter 116

CHAPTER 116

“What else?”

“Eh?”

“What other theories do you have about being in love?” Bette settled back against the sofa, happy to be engaging in a thought provoking discussion.

“When you love someone, you love a them by showing them. It isn’t just about being able to tell them. You are willing to make sacrifices without hesitating. You show a willingness to forego something in order to accommodate a her, and you do so a willingly. You put yourself aside when she needs you. You…feel comfortable with each other. You feel a trust that you can be in the company of each other and share everything…maybe things you never thought you could ever share to another. Intimacy is like…well…like a foundation for love. Intimacy isn’t simply about a sex. It is about sharing more than your bodies. It’s about sharing your fears…your a frustrations…your a needs…your perspective.”

“Go on…I’m fascinated by your definition.” Bette was eager to continue listening. She agreed with almost everything Rosalie offered.

“It’s a knowing that your a partner will not be judging you, but will be standing beside you…always. It’s about being friends…showing a desire to help one another.” Rosalie looked off in the distance as she grasped for a deeper ability to explain. “The spirit between one another, and the unselfishness that accompanies your relationship. The desire to be a close…wanting that physical closeness and tenderness. Wanting to share the burdens and challenges that you know are a sure to a come in life.”

Rosalie paused, waiting for Bette’s reaction.

“You are amazing Rosalie.”

Rosalie felt herself blush. “You are too Bette.”

Bette looked at her relationship with Jan. She wasn’t quite sure where they were…passionate love no doubt. There was a lot of fire between them, so she could easily see the relationship there. However, when it came to compassionate love, some elements were shared, but what about the other ones? Were they to come with time, or should they have already been there?

In her mind, time would tell.

#

When Jan returned to the apartment, she was greeted by two suitcases inside the foyer. Her first thought was that Bette was moving out, but the aroma that permeated the air from the kitchen made her doubt this assumption.

Jan slowly made her way to the kitchen as her mind concocted a number of scenario’s as to why there was luggage by the door and the aroma of a meal permeating the air. 

As she peered around the corner, she spotted Rosalie closing the oven door. Surprised by the fact that this young woman seemed to have made herself quite comfortable in their kitchen, Jan decided to locate Bette and find out what was going on. Without saying a word to Rosalie, she proceeded to walk towards their bedroom. As she did, she glanced into the bathroom which was just as dark as the hallway she was walking. Once she confirmed Bette wasn’t in the bedroom either, she returned to the kitchen, this time not being as careful about her presence.

“Madrone!” Rosalie shrieked at the unexpected presence in the doorway.

“Where is Bette?” Jan inquired, unaffected by Rosalie’s surprise.

“She’s a gone to the store.” Rosalie wiped her hands on the dishtowel which she had tucked into the waistline of her pants.

Jan’s jealousy rose. She didn’t appreciate how cozy things appeared to be. “Do you typically play house when you come to visit a friend?”

Rosalie was insulted by the stark accusation. “I’m a not playing house with anyone. I came here to visit with Bette.”

“Sure you did.”

“I did! She’s a good a friend. That’s a it.”

“Really? The comments you left on her Myspace page over the past year tell otherwise.”

“That was in the past.”

“Was it though? Are you saying that you didn’t come here hoping to resume something?”

The truth was, Rosalie would have loved to have found Bette single and available. The fact was, it didn’t turn out that way. In addition, she also knew her friend was still madly in love with the blonde, though she may not be willing to ever admit that to herself or anyone else.

“I came here for a visit.”

Jan dug her heels in and started flinging accusations. “No, you CAME here hoping to seduce her. Isn’t that what you do? I mean, look at the comments you left for her. Neither of you have to admit to having slept together, it’s blatantly obvious by the flirtatious comments.”

Rosalie grabbed hold of the edge of the dish towel and pulled it from her waist. She threw it down on the table as she walked by Jan. “Va fangool you don’t know a thing!”

#

“You still want to try to catch a movie?” Tina asked.

“I think we need to talk.”

Tina rolled onto her back, expressing a sigh as she did. The last thing she wanted to do was talk. She felt that she proved what she had to through the intimacy they both just shared.

“What?” Eric asked. “Do you think that having sex erases what I found? Because it doesn’t.”

Tina turned towards him, propping herself up slightly on her forearm. “What more do you want? It was in my past. I can’t change my past Eric.”

“Yeah…in your past…but how much in your past is it when you still have the pictures on your computer?”

Tina took a deep breath. “What do you want? Do you want me to get rid of them?”

Eric sat up in bed. “Do you have to ask? Hell Tina, they should have been gone immediately after your fling with this chick, and certainly it shouldn’t be something you ask me to provide an answer for.”

Tina didn’t like to feel like she was backed into a corner. “Fine! I’ll get rid of them.”

Eric watched as Tina left the bed. She didn’t bother covering her naked body as she headed for the living room. He dropped his head back against the headboard and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t want to be the one to ask that she delete the pictures. He wanted it to be her choice and something she initiated on her own.

Tina returned to the bedroom with her laptop in hand. “Just so you don’t get crazy thinking that I didn’t get rid of them, you can have the pleasure of watching.”

#

Just as Bette placed her hand on the door knob, the door was pulled from her. Rosalie was on the other side, with one piece of luggage in her hand as she prepared to leave.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Rosalie fought back the tears that were building inside her. “I’m a leaving.” 

“What?" Bette quickly scanned Rosalie's face. "Why?”

“Please Bette. It’s a easier this way. You have a life. I had no right coming here.”

Bette quickly placed the brown bag to the floor which she was holding, refusing to step away from the doorway to allow Rosalie to pass. “No…I don’t want you to go,” she said as she placed both her hands on Rosalie’s arms. “You just got here. Everything was fine when I left.”

Jan had been listening from the kitchen. She was extremely disturbed at how Bette persisted in not wanting Rosalie to leave, yet when she had walked out earlier there was no resistance. 

“Please Bette…please…just let me a go. I’m only causing problems for you and your a girl.”

“Let her go Bette,” Jan said sharply as she made her way into the living room from the kitchen.

Bette’s eyes pierced through Jan. Her presence and the cold monotone that had come from her was enough for Bette to form a pretty good picture of what must have occurred while she was gone.


	117. Chapter 117

CHAPTER 117

“Please…please let me pass?” Rosalie pleaded, interrupting the stare between the two girlfriends.

Bette’s eyes returned to Rosalie’s. They were beautiful. The tears which had moistened her long eyelashes, forced some of the delicate ones to stick together, creating a thicker appearance. “You don’t have anywhere to stay tonight. I can’t let you just walk around aimlessly.”

Jan rolled her eyes. “You have got to be kidding me? Why do you feel so damn responsible? Why is it you feel accountable to everyone except us?”

“Stop it!” Bette demanded. The anger that she felt towards Jan couldn’t be hidden. “You and I need to deal with our shit later. I’m not going to let her come to this...this foreign country, not knowing anyone but me, and just let her walk out of here as emotional as she is with nowhere to go.”

Jan arched a brow.

“I don’t care right now okay? You can get pissed off with me. If you can't stay in the same apartment, then you have options."

"Careful," Jan warned.

"About what? You can go to a friends house to sleep overnight if you feel you have to. She doesn't have that option. The friends house that she can go to is right here. It's your choice. You can stay, or you can stay somewhere else, but I’m not letting her leave.”  
Rosalie felt her heart crumble. She didn't want to bring so much anguish to Bette and the relationship she shared with Jan, even if it was already tense.

“Jesus Bette. Doesn’t anyone have a say in it? She’s been wanting to leave for the last ten minutes and you won’t let her. Stop trying to control every one and every thing!” Jan grabbed her jacket from the chair.

“I didn’t say you had to go either.” Bette pushed her way further into the apartment and closed the door behind her. “Look…I…I’m not picking sides here okay?” Bette pushed her fingers through her hair. “Rosalie came here for a visit. She has a hotel booked for all the nights but this evening. I had offered for her to stay on the sofa tonight.” Bette could see Jan ready to react. “I know I should have asked you if it were okay. I suppose I assumed that you would understand.”

Jan was continuing to breathe solely through her nose as she contained her annoyance.

“Rosalie offered to make dinner for all of us, as a way to thank us for our hospitality.”

Rosalie turned towards Jan. “It wasn’t an intimate dinner for two.” The remark was laced with disdain.

Jan didn’t trust Rosalie, not in the least. “I’m sure,” she offered sarcastically.

Bette dropped her head. “Jan, come on.” 

“Have a nice dinner together. I’m going to call Shane and see if she will let me crash at her place.”

“Don’t bother. I said I was a leaving, and I am.” Once again Rosalie started towards the door, only to be met with resistance from Bette.

“No! You don’t have a place to stay. Jan can stay here. If she doesn’t want to, at least I know she has a place she can stay. It isn’t safe to be on the streets Ro. I’m not letting you walk out of here.”

“God you are so pathetic,” Jan said as she pushed her way past Bette. “Have fun huh? Just do me a favor and don’t fuck in my bed.”

Bette closed her eyes as Jan slammed the door behind her.

“I’m so sorry. I… I never wanted to cause a you so much pain.” Rosalie started to cry.

“Shhh…Ro…you didn’t. Come on now,” Bette lifted Rosalie’s chin. “You didn’t cause me any pain. I want you to stay here tonight. I couldn’t bear having something happen to you, when I know it would be my fault.”

“Your fault?”

“Well, you didn’t come to America for any other purpose but to visit me. I feel a sense of responsibility.”

“I’m not a little bambino Bette.”

“I know that. I didn’t say you were. I just…I…I want to spend some time with you. You said things before I left for the store, that really hit me hard.”

“I'm sorry.”

“No, no being sorry. It was good. It has opened my eyes a little…made me evaluate things more, like where I am and if it’s all enough.” Bette took hold of Rosalie's hand. "Please stay here."

This was one person which Rosalie found every one of her inhibitions melt. Bette had been her first lover, and deep in her heart she knew that no matter where her life would go, she would have a part of Bette with her. If she were to ever consider such a life, she knew it would require walking away from her family in Italy. Her father was a very opinionated man, who would never give his blessings for her to make a life with a woman...not to mention, that she would also be cut off financially from the security that she had come to know. If she knew Bette wanted a life with her, perhaps she would have been more eager to face some hard decisions. It wasn’t the case. Bette wouldn’t be the one, and for Rosalie that now meant returning to Italy and living a life filled with family expectation and tradition. For now, she would try hard to make the best of her visit with a friend that she may never cross paths with again.

"Please Ro?"

"Okay...I'll stay." Her words were weak, nearly as weak as her inner resolve. "I just feel so terrible."

"Don't feel bad. As I explained earlier, Jan and I had just had it out with one another before you arrived." 

Rosalie was confused by the relationship that Bette shared with Jan. The first impression of this woman wasn’t a pleasant one in the least. "Before we sit, I should check on dinner."

"Alright. I was able to get some wine," Bette said as she picked the paper bag from the floor. "Merlot. I remember your family had a bottle at dinner that night I ate with you and your family."

"How did you get it? Didn’t you a tell me that the legal age is a…twenty-one?"

Bette smirked. "Oh, I have my ways."

Rosalie cracked a smile. "You are naughty."

Bette blushed as she followed Rosalie to the kitchen.

#

Shane was surprised by the relentless knocking on the front door to the house. Gary had taken a week off from work for a trip to Canada, and as far as she knew, they weren’t expecting anyone. She parted the curtain, but couldn’t make out just who it was on the other side of the door. 

Once the door opened, she was both surprised and happy to see her friend Jan on the other side. “Hey! What brings you guys here?” The question was an assumption that Bette wasn’t too far behind.

While they hugged, Jan revealed that Bette wasn’t with her. This came as yet another surprise to Shane. “What? Why not?”


	118. Chapter 118

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for your fun and uplifting comments! I always enjoy reading them.

CHAPTER 118

“Can I just come in?”

“Of course you can.” Shane stepped aside and allowed Jan to make her way into the living room. There she was met with a couple of empty beer bottles on the coffee table, and what appeared to be a chick flick on the television.

“I see you are keeping yourself occupied.”

Shane smirked as she closed the front door. “I know-I know. It’s not usual for me to be without some company.”

Jan moved the blanket from the corner of the sofa and sat down. “Guess it can’t be so bad.”

“What?” Shane asked in a tone which showed her confusion. “Not having company?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay. I like being alone sometimes.”

Jan reached inside the open bag of nacho’s and began nibbling.

“So…wanna tell me what’s up? It’s kind of weird that you would just show up here…without Bette especially.”

Jan licked her fingers. “You have a beer you can spare?”

“Yeah, sure I do.” Shane retrieved two beers from the fridge, one for herself and one for Jan, then returned to the living room.

“Thanks.” Jan twisted the top off her beer, then read the label.

“You’re welcome.” Shane sat on the coffee table and faced her friend. “Did you guys have a fight?”

Jan took one long sip of beer, which caused the foam to rise over the rim of the bottle. “Shit!” She quickly licked the foam as it dripped down the sides. 

Shane shook her head as she laughed. “Do you want a glass?”

“No, I’m good.”

Shane could see that Jan was holding something back. She placed her hand on Jan’s knee, hoping to encourage her to share her burden. “Jan, what’s up? Come on…you can talk to me.”

“I know I can. Do you want the short and shitty version?”

“What’s my choices?”

“Choices,” Jan repeated. “That’s what this was about.”

“What was?” Shane asked, still quite confused.

“Bette had a visitor today. Someone I believe to be an old flame.”

“Tina?”

“No, that one I know all about and that is another story I have to tell you about. This woman is Italian. She came all the way from Italy to see Bette.”

For a moment, Shane couldn’t remember who this woman was. “How old?”

“Around our age I would say.”

Then it clicked. “Oh wow. Roseanne?”

“Close…Rosalie is her name.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Shane moved to the sofa. “I remember her. She was one hot number.”

Jan pushed Shane’s shoulder to show her irritation.

“What?” Shane could see Jan wasn’t impressed in the least. “Okay…I’m sorry. Poor timing. So she showed up huh?”

“Yes, and Bette is just…gosh Shane you should see her. She’s like all accommodating to this woman.”

Shane watched as Jan took another sip, this one more successful than her first. “Well Bette is like that Jan. She has a heart of gold, you know that.”

“I know, and I know it’s one thing that made me fall in love with her. I just don’t know if I can keep up with her. I don’t know I can be all that she needs.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s been hard enough feeling like I’m constantly being compared to Tina, and now this girl comes out of the woodwork. How many more are there?”

Shane tilted her head as she contemplated.

“I don’t like that gesture. You must know Shane. How many more women are out there that I have to be concerned with?”

Shane put her bottle on the table. “Jan, I don’t know. Bette really hasn’t been a huge player, at least not that I have ever seen. She’s totally into women for sure, but I really think she seeks that one long term arrangement with someone.”

“How can I be sure that she isn’t going to wake up three months or a year from now and tell me that someone that she was once with has returned to her?”

"You’re asking the wrong woman that question. But I can tell you this, that if Bette makes a long term commitment...well...from what I have been able to see from her past, she sticks with that commitment."

It wasn't long before Jan finished her beer and was beginning a second one, when the discussion moved to Tina. "So, even if I don't have a thing to be concerned with in terms of this Rosalie chick, what about the blonde?"

"Tina?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Tina hasn't really even been around her friends much at all, let alone Bette. She's with some guy now that she met in school. No doubt she will live the hetero life that her asshole father has wanted her to live."

"She's with someone now?"

"Yep."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I am sure. Alice was bitching about it the other day. She had been trying to make some solid plans for them to spend a day at the beach. She hasn't been really successful because Tina keeps blowing her off for prince charming."

Jan chuckled at Shane's sarcasm. "I thought Tina was gay."

"Yeah, we all did too. She and Bette shared an incredible relationship, I won't lie to you, I thought they would be that high school sweetheart couple that would spend a lifetime together. If anyone told me a few years ago, that these two would be split up I would have never believed them. Never."


	119. Chapter 119

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya all can thank Donna for a THIRD chapter on this day...considering she asked nicely. ;)

CHAPTER 119

Shane's honest view wasn't easing Jan's concern, but it was information all the same and certainly necessary for her to hear. "So, why did it end?"

"Tina ended things because she needed to find out who she was. She knew she was attracted to women, but she wasn't quite sure about why she avoided a sexual relationship with guys. It's not my place to say, but she experienced something when she was younger, and she felt it played a part in her mistrust. At the same time, her father made it very clear that she was not to see Bette anymore once he learned of their relationship."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, totally. He's a bigoted creep."

"Don't tell me Tina agreed to it?"

"She did. She broke up with her. She got into therapy, and I suppose between her own curiosity and her father's pressure it was enough to just make her comply with it."

"That had to break Bette's heart." Although it was a hard subject to hear about, Jan started to feel for Bette. She couldn't imagine being completely in love with someone and having them break up no fault of her own. "Why would Tina ever consider leaving someone she supposedly loved? It isn't like she is five or ten years old. I imagine she was of legal age to make up her own mind right?"

"Yeah, technically she was. I don't know...it was really hard watching the pain Bette felt. She was so crushed. I think it's easier to break up with someone or even be on the receiving end if you can see what you may have done to contribute to it. But with Bette, the only thing she did wrong was that she was born a female--at least in terms of what Tina's father expected."

"That's shitty. Poor Bette."

"Yeah. It got pretty ugly. At one point Tina started dating this boy in school that was a real jerk. I'm not saying she should have hid the fact she was dating him, but it was really hard watching her be in our company with this guy while Bette's heart was still breaking."

"Sounds like a bitch." Of course Jan was quick to pass judgment. 

"She really isn't. At the time we were so pissed at her, we girls that is. It seemed hard for Bette to become angry. She was more hurt than anything else and started to retreat. Normally she was into being with us, and for awhile she just wanted to be alone. She slept a lot."

"Wow. I never knew everything about their past. The night I first met Bette at your apartment party, she had just finished a tense discussion with Tina. But I thought Tina was actually with some other chick at the time. I'm confused."

Shane laughed as she finished her beer. "No more than the rest of us had been. After Johnny, Tina had been single for a little bit. She never really tried to get back with Bette, at least not that I am aware of. When Bette was in Italy studying art, Tina met Helena. They were together for a short time, and things I guess didn't really work out so well while Tina was in college."

"And...now she has settled down a little bit with this new guy?"

"Yeah, Eric is going to school to be a lawyer. Well, at least that is what I heard. So I suppose we will get another bigoted penile implant defending the people's right to vote against our rights for equality."

"Nice."

"So you see, it appears their lives have taken a different direction. I don't see them ever finding one another again. I think those type of relationships are meant more for fairy tales than anything else."

"I believe in them. I believe in fairy tale relationships." Jan snorted as she expressed a laugh. "How about another beer?"

#

“It would have been more genuine if you weren’t pouting about what you just did,” Eric remarked while he rose from the bed.

“What? I did what I know I needed to do so we could get beyond this.”

Eric pushed his arms through the sleeves of his t-shirt, and pulled it down over his abdomen. He reached for the jeans which lay on the floor, and pulled them up each leg. “I don’t want this coming back to haunt us later Tina.”

Tina was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t expect to see this broad rocking up on our door step one day.”

“She won’t. She’s happily involved with someone.”

Eric buckled his belt, then delivered the next question which caused Tina some anxiety. “She looked a little familiar. I’m not sure where. I hope like hell I don’t know her.”

“I doubt you do. I mean she went to high school with me.” 

Eric had not been in Bette’s company before, and the worse part was that Tina would now have to prevent that from happening…at least any time soon while her picture was fairly fresh in his mind. The only consolation, was it was a side view and shouldn’t have been enough to identify completely anyway.

#

“Mmm…you sure know how to cook Rosalie,” Bette commended as she savored the flavor in each bite she took.

“Thank you. Between Mama and Papa how could I go wrong?”

Bette smiled as she raised the wine glass to her lips. “I suppose you couldn’t.”

Rosalie’s eyes twinkled as she kept her own glass close to her lips. “I hope Jan realizes just a how lucky she is.” The Italian girl tilted her head to the side as she continued to scan each feature on Bette’s face. The bottle of wine that was shared between them, allowed Rosalie to relax and share what was running through her head.

Bette picked at a piece of chicken in her plate as she gave Rosalie’s statement some thought. “Some days I’m not convinced of it.”

The admittance didn’t come as much of a surprise to Rosalie. It wasn’t fair of her to base her opinion off of one encounter, particularly if that followed what had been a disagreement between the couple only moments before her arrival. However, Rosalie had come to know Bette quite well in the few months they were together. In her heart, Jan was not the best “fit” for her friend. She was hesitant to offer her opinion, for a few reasons. First, she wasn’t certain how biased her judgment was considering her own feelings for Bette. Furthermore, was it really any of her business to share such a personal view of Bette’s relationship?

When Rosalie failed to follow up with further conversation, Bette pondered what the young woman was thinking. “What’s on your mind?”

“Hmm?”

Bette placed her fork on the table and repeated her question as she retrieved the second bottle of wine from the counter. 

“I’m quite uncomfortable sharing my opinion. It’s a none of my business…really.”

Bette brought the wine to the table and pulled her chair closer to Rosalie. “I value your opinion. If you have something to say…please…share it.”

It was hard for Rosalie to be this close to Bette. The thoughts that overwhelmed her in this moment, were filled with lust and longing. She didn’t think she had the ability to form a complete thought, let alone make a sentence. “I…I’m a little hot. It’s a little hot in here…no?”


	120. Chapter 120

CHAPTER 120

“Hot? Do you want me to open a few windows?”

“It would be nice. Yes, could you?”

“Certainly.” Bette rose from the chair and went to the living room where she cracked a few windows open. “Do you want to hang out in here Ro?”

“Okay.”

“Just bring the bottle and glasses,” Bette requested as she connected her iPod to the stereo. “If I recall, you enjoy music quite a bit.”

“I sure do.”

Bette smiled at Rosalie when she turned around. “I’m so glad you came here. I think I needed this.”

“This?” Rosalie questioned.

“I don’t know…just to be able to let go a little bit. To feel some freedom. I haven’t really seen my friends in a long time, so it’s nice to see someone I know.”

Bette and Rosalie settled on the sofa, facing one another as Bette urged her to share all that she was thinking. It was a request that came with risks, but Bette was willing to take them on. She was a brave young woman and knew the necessity in receiving the honest opinion of those she trusted with her confidences. When Rosalie appeared tentative, Bette decided she would be the first to share.

“So...I suppose you must be wondering what happened between Jan and I before you had arrived,” Bette suggested.

“I guess so. It seems like it was something pretty upsetting.”

After Bette refilled their glasses, she sat back against the sofa and started to share what occurred moments before Rosalie’s knock on the door.

“Ah, so you still have some a feeling for this Tina girl.” Rosalie’s words were a matter of statement more than a question.

Bette nervously moved her wine glass in circles, spinning the liquid inside. “What I have felt doesn’t really matter.”

“Why not?”

“She is with a guy now. That’s the life she chose.” Bette took a sip of her wine. “As long as she is happy, then that is all I care about.”

“Really?”

Bette tightened her lip. “Yeah.”

“Why do you still keep a those pictures?”

“I don’t know. I guess I…I don’t know, I just did.”

“You can understand why Jan was upset, no?”

Bette nodded in agreement as she looked from Rosalie to her glass. The wine was certainly making her feel a lot more unreserved than before.

“It tells her that you still carry feelings.”

Bette weaved her slender fingers through her hair. “When feelings have run deep, they can be hard to ignore. A million times over I had to minimize what Tina and I shared in order to move beyond her.”

“That’s a defense mechanism if I’ve a ever heard of one.” Rosalie stared at Bette. She would have given anything to have been in Tina’s shoes, with such adoration and love coming from Bette. A part of her thought this blonde had to be absolutely crazy not to see how wonderful a woman Bette was.

“Yeah, I suppose it is.”

“There is no chance of you both ever getting back together?”

“No, absolutely not. You can’t go backwards Ro. How many times do you keep trying for someone that has shown you that you just aren’t the one? I’m not the one for Tina. Sure, she may have been the one for me, but if it isn’t mutual then no matter how much you want it, you have to put it behind you. The bottom line is, she is where she wants to be.”

Rosalie tilted her head. “I have a feeling you have broken a lot of girls hearts.”

Bette placed her glass on the table then turned her eyes towards Rosalie. “Not as many as you think.”

“What I wouldn’t give to have been her,” Rosalie uttered just above a whisper.

Bette’s eyes scanned Rosalie’s. There was honesty and purity in them. It’s a funny thing about life; that the one you want may not want you, or the one who you don’t want does. What are the chances of two people wanting one another at the same time? Is it harder to achieve than we know it to be? Was love a destiny or a calculate journey? Those were questions filling Bette’s mind. 

“That was not meant to be heard,” Rosalie whispered, aware that Bette had heard her wish. Her long delicate eyelashes fluttered as she blushed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Bette stared at Rosalie. She certainly was one hell of an attractive young woman to say the least. In some ways, the connection she shared with this woman in the short time they were together over the summer, was deeper than what she felt she had with Jan. “It’s nice to know that someone would have been glad to be in Tina’s shoes. That they see what she chose to walk away from. I’m not getting a big head here so don’t get me wrong, it’s just…well it’s nice to hear.”

“I could say it a million times over Bette. That girl made a mistake, but hopefully for her it’s not one she’ll ever comprehend making.”

“Huh?” The wine was clearly messing with Bette’s cognition. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that if she lives a happy life with this man, and he can offer her all the emotional and physical pleasure then she may never comprehend what it is she has missed out on.”

“True. Well, I do wish that for her…”

Rosalie smiled, taken by the generosity that remained in Bette’s heart. “You are so fucking amazing.”

The choice of words caused Bette’s brows to arch. “You think so huh?”

“I know so.” Rosalie’s voice dropped. “I could…just…just…” 

Bette felt Rosalie lean towards her and slip her hand behind her neck. In this moment of sharing and opening up, the emotional connection sparked a fire between both. Bette didn’t resist Rosalie’s pull, and in fact complied by leaning in herself.

When their lips touched, Rosalie felt a series of tingles spread across her body. How she yearned for this kiss to seal a relationship with Bette. She was head over heals in love with her, and though she knew she wasn’t Tina, she felt she could offer her so much more than Jan; argument or not…Jan wasn’t the one.

Bette knew it was wrong. She knew she should pull away and break free of the moment she had just surrendered to. It wasn’t that she didn’t have any feelings for Rosalie; of course she did, she was a beautiful young woman. She was sexy, beautiful, honest, loving, and overly affectionate. She wondered if there could have been more between them had she not been carrying such strong emotions for Tina when she first went to Italy. She had still been reeling from the loss she had felt, and thought that it could have influenced her keeping her heart close to her and not pursuing anything more with Rosalie back then. 

As their lips parted, their tongues took the liberty to reacquaint themselves. The movement was both smooth and easy. Every once in a while one would pull back slightly and turn their head to re-engage again from a different angle. The heat between these two sexual women could not be ignored; while one was already accepting it, the other was well on her way.

In the moment, Bette began to rationalize her actions. Sure there was alcohol involved which could have loosened both of them, but what it was doing more of was offering insight into an area where Bette would normally keep locked away. It opened the doors when they wouldn’t normally have opened. There was a difference in falling for someone attractive and who you love, verses falling for all that and also having a deep bond of friendship. The ease at which she could open up with Rosalie was something she lacked with Jan. The invigorating views on love that Rosalie had shared were beautiful and something which was both deep and substantial. There was a connection to Rosalie, in a way which was deeper than Jan; Bette just hadn’t given it the full opportunity to blossom completely the summer before.

Rosalie moaned in protest when Bette pulled her lips away from hers, she didn’t want the contact to stop. As she mentally prepared an apology, the next thing she felt was Bette’s hands easing her back against the sofa and each leg straddling her just before resuming the kiss they had been lost in.

Rosalie slipped her hands under Bette’s shirt, welcoming the feeling of the bare back that her nails began to graze. Her center tightened even more the moment that Bette’s mouth began devouring her neck. She exhaled pleas that Bette not stop, but keep doing all that she was…and then some.

Bette pulled her upper body from Rosalie. She reached down and grabbed the ends of her shirt and pulled it over her head; Rosalie hadn’t dared take her eyes off of Bette as she did so. Her suspicions that Bette was without a bra was now confirmed. Before her, was an incredibly sexy mocha skinned beauty with firm breasts and perky nipples. 

“Is this okay with you?” Bette inquired.

Rosalie nodded in agreement.


	121. Chapter 121

CHAPTER 121

Bette slid her hands under Rosalie’s shirt, carrying the edge with her as her hands worked upward. Her mouth teased Rosalie’s belly button, while her hands reached for the two breasts which were eagerly awaiting her touch. She felt the hard nipples pushing against the tight fabric which confined them.

Rosalie drove her head backward against the sofa pillow. The feelings were incredible and brought back the amazing sexual experience when Bette had been in Italy. It was hard for her to even consider stopping such a progression, though her thoughts travelled to Jan and the possibility that she could come home at any given moment.

Bette removed one hand from under Rosalie’s shirt and unbuttoned the Italian’s blue jeans. There wasn’t any reasoning behind her motivation to be intimate, except that in this slightly intoxicated state, Rosalie was a comfort and their bond of friendship a nourishment. It was painfully aware to her that Jan wasn’t the one, she was a filler. Perhaps no one would be the one for Bette. Maybe she would just find fillers here and there until she found someone as close to being what her Tina was. Then again….was there such a thing as no other love? If so, then Bette Porter would be filling her life with a lot of fillers, hoping to come as close as possible to what she had. How would she know if there was someone like Tina out there if she wasn’t willing to get herself in the scene to find out? Rosalie was a breath of fresh air, and though she may not have been Tina, in this moment of truth Bette was going to put Jan to rest, moving beyond her through the intimacy with another.

“Fuck…” Rosalie breathed effortlessly into the air. “I’m so…wet for you.”

#

Eric returned from the gym exhausted from the intense workout he had put himself through. He dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and walked into the living room where Tina had fallen asleep on the sofa. He squatted down in front of her and gently pushed away the strands of hair that had fallen across her face.

The unexpected touch startled the blonde. “Wha…oh…what are you doing?”

He reached for her hand and held it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get crazy; it was just a shock. I don’t dig the gay lifestyle, and…well seeing you with some other chick just hit way too close to home for me.”

Tina sat up, allowing Eric room to join her on the sofa. “I’m sorry that I hadn’t gotten rid of them. It was a time in my life when I was questioning things…what I wanted…who I was.”

“Do you still think you’re questioning any of that?”

Tina brought Eric’s hand to her mouth and kissed the back. “No, not at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure Eric. This is where I want to be.”

“Good.” Eric released a much needed sigh. “I just can’t get my head wrapped around the whole gay stuff. My old man always called them freaks ya know? Told me they were all going to burn in hell because they weren’t a creation of God.”

“That’s crazy shit Eric. I don’t believe that.”

“Come on Tina, look at religious history. God didn’t create Adam and Adam or Eve and Eve. Women are suppose to pro-create. God created man and woman with desires for each other, not for them to be intimate with one another.”

“I don’t feel that way, not at all. I believe that if you hate the creation then you are hating God too. If you believe God to be the giver of life and the taker of life, then how do you explain why he allows homosexuals to be born at all? If he was so opposed to their existence, then he wouldn’t allow their presence in this world, and certainly would not give them the desires, attractions and ability to love one another.”

“Don’t you think he gives them life so that they pay for the sins of everyone? I look at it like this, if you are born gay and you believe it isn’t a choice, then that is your disability. That is the illness you are inflicted with…no different than someone who is disabled.:

Tina couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She came from a religious family; ones set in their own ways, and a father no doubt who likely thought along the same lines, but never did she adopt that mind set. “That is ludicrous Eric. An illness? No different than someone who is disabled? You are tapped.”

“It’s my opinion Tina.”

“My closest friends are gay. I couldn’t imagine any nicer women, or any better friendships. They have been with me through some really hard times in my life, and I love them. I love them not just for being by my side, but for all that they stand for and all they believe.”

“Guess you are entitled to your opinion, but I wouldn’t want any of them in my home.”

Tina closed her eyes tight. “It’s best we don’t get into this because it’s only going to end in a big fight.”

“Why is that? There isn’t anything to fight about. I don’t want them in our home, or around our kids when we have them.”

Tina tightened her mouth. She loved Eric, but it was difficult to love him entirely knowing that his opinions about people that were some of her closest friends were looked upon so poorly. She felt her nostrils start to flair. “You are….ugh!”

Eric watched as Tina abruptly departed from the living room.

#

Bette felt her center tighten more than she thought possible as she continued making out with Rosalie. The foreplay was slower than she was typically use to when it came to her intimacy with Jan, but it was all the more exhilarating. 

“Touch me,” Rosalie pleaded while Bette sucked on her neck. “Please…please Bette.”

Bette felt Rosalie’s hand cover hers. She slowly slid Bette’s hand to her panties, the only piece of clothing which remained on the Italian. The barrier was a disappointment, but only served as yet another means of turning up the heat as she pressed Bette’s hand against her crotch.

“Can you feel how hot I am? How wet my panties are?”

Bette’s brows twisted in disbelief as she felt the dampness begin to penetrate through the thin fibers which separated her hand from Rosalie’s center. 

“That’s all you…you…mmmm….Bette.” Rosalie lost her breath few times as her swollen clit was grazed by the pressure of Bette’s palm. 

Rosalie grabbed Bette’s hand and began to slip it inside of her panties. She couldn’t stand having a barrier any longer. She needed to feel Bette’s slender fingers manipulating her clit, sliding in and out of her incredibly wet pussy.

#

“Thanks Shane. I have a better picture of Bette’s past with Tina, and I suppose I shouldn’t have a whole lot to worry about. She seems pretty attached to that guy she’s seeing, and as for Rosalie…if it was what Bette wanted, she would have stuck with her right?”

“Exactly. She could have stayed in Italy to go to school, or had Rosalie come to the states a lot sooner than now.”

“It’s not in my head though, I know that the Italian is lusting after Bette.”

“No doubt, she’s hot!” Shane laughed.

Jan cocked her head to the side. “Not you too.”

Shane grinned. “Come on Jan, Bette is one hot chick.”

“Don’t even tell me…have you…and her?”

Shane was ready to burst out laughing. Sure she had….and it was a threesome to boot!

“You have haven’t you?”

Shane nodded in agreement and held up three fingers. 

“Three times? You fucked three times?”

“Noooo, I wish.”

“Oh my God, I cannot believe I’m hearing this.”

“Come on Jan, don’t get all crazy about it. We had all been drinking…quite a bit actually. We were pretty horny and….”

“Wait, you said ‘we all’ like there was a group or something.”

“A group of three.”

Jan’s mouth dropped as her brows arched. “A threesome? Bette did a threesome with you? Who else?”

“Another chick that lived across the hall from me.”

“Christ! You told me that she wasn’t much of a player!”

“Well…she isn’t…not compared to me at least.” Shane looked at her watch. “Hey, you never know….if you get home quick she may just be in the mood for another threesome.”

“No fucking way. I’m going home alright, but it will be to claim my woman and make sure that Italian broad remains on the damn sofa.”

Shane laughed hard. “You better lock the bedroom door then. I hear those Italian chicks are insatiable….make hot, hard core lovers.”

Jan grabbed her keys and quickly departed Shane’s place for home.


	122. Chapter 122

CHAPTER 122

When Rosalie felt Bette’s bare breasts press against her own, she felt a surge of warmth pass through her body and settle in her center which had become exceptionally wet. Left with only her panties, and Bette with her jeans, there were more nakedness between them than there were barriers.

Bette pulled her lips from Rosalie’s neck and gazed into her eyes. “Is this okay with you?”

Rosalie wrapped her arms around Bette’s neck and offered an endearing grin before giving her a light kiss on the lips. “What do you think?”

“I just don’t want to make things harder…when you have to leave…to go back home.”

In her heart, it would always be hard separating from Bette. She was in love with her, but she was wise enough to know that Bette’s feelings didn’t run as deep. Rosalie would have given up her country, her family, everything to be with Bette if that were what she wanted. The difficulty in life was finding that the person you fall in love with feels the same about you. Even when you find that match, the depths of ones love can differ on a large spectrum.

“Making love with you is never hard or wrong to me,” Rosalie replied with unfathomable sentiment.

Why couldn’t Tina feel as much for her as Rosalie? Why was it that others whom found Bette to be attractive; an amazing woman, felt so much…yet…the one she had always wanted to feel the same and make a life with didn’t? It was a heart wrenching concept to get her mind wrapped around.

With wild abandon Bette made love to Rosalie with the same passion and charge as if it were Tina on the sofa surrendering herself over. Her drive was filled with a thirst to find pleasure while also escaping the harsh reality that her relationship with Jan was coming to an end, Tina didn’t want her, and Rosalie would be leaving in a week.

#

Dana and Alice were trying to choose a movie from On Demand when Alice’s phone rang.

“Five bucks it’s Shaney.”

“Ten it’s not,” Dana countered. “It’s the weekend, she’s to busy getting busy.”

Alice chuckled as her eyes widened at the phone display. “No shit, it’s TK.”

Dana arched a brow in surprise. The summer was nearly over and hey hadn’t heard much from Tina, except an occasional e-mail or text message.

Alice flipped the phone open. “No way, it couldn’t be…is this…is this THE Tina Kennard?”

“Hey Al,”

“Oh my god it is, it really is!”

“Alright…I suppose I deserve that.”

“You bet your ass you do. Where on earth have you been? I’ve left you a few messages hoping we could hit the beach one more time before we have to head back to school.”

“I know… I suck. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you do,” Alice joked.

“Do you want me to hang up?”

“Nooo…I’m just giving you a hard time. What’s up?”

“I was hoping I might be able to stop by.”

Alice was surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, that’s if you aren’t too busy.”

“Not at all. Dana and I were just hanging here, trying to decide on a movie.”

“I’m not interrupting am I?”

“No. Just come on over.”

“Alright. I’ll be there soon.”

“See you soon.” Alice flipped the phone shut and stared at it for a moment before looking at Dana. “I can’t believe it. She said she is going to stop by.”

“I wonder what’s up?

“Don’t know.”

“Did she sound okay?”

“I nearly forgot what she sounded like.”

“That’s sad.” Dana started to surf through the channels until she came across a replay of an old Wimbledon match.

“It is. I wonder if she broke up with dickhead?”

“One could only hope.”

#

Rosalie rested her head on Bette’s chest, basking in the glory of the amazing sex they had just shared. Having sex with someone you love deeply is far greater than anything else. The feelings that culminate in that moment are like a symphony with body and soul. Nothing on earth compares…nothing.

“I know that I’m not suppose to a say this…”

“What?”

Rosalie looked up at Bette. “That I love you.”

Bette tightened her bottom lip. She knew that Rosalie held deep feelings for her, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt the young woman. “I know you do Ro. I…I love you too.”

Rosalie believed that there was a love present, just the way she stood firm against Jan when it came to making sure that she had a place to stay. However, she also knew that love was multi-dimensional.

“I know you love me…but it isn’t in the same a way.”

Bette frowned at the incredible perception this young woman possessed. 

“It’s okay Bette. It’s unrealistic that two people would love a one another the same a way. Your heart was taken long before you met me.” Rosalie lifted herself from Bette’s body and handed her shirt to her, then started putting her own clothes back on.

As Bette dressed, she remained quiet.

“Tina…she’s your no other love.”

Bette shook her head. “You’re wise Rosalie…but…you know, it really doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Tina is with that guy. They are pretty serious too…have a place and all.”

“So.”

“So?”

“Yeah so! Bette just because she is a living with him doesn’t mean she’s happy. You moved in with Jan…are you happy?”

“I thought I was. But still…that doesn’t mean that Tina isn’t happy. Come on Ro, she is living the life that her father has expected. He wanted her to be with a boy, and now she found someone that apparently she must be feeling something pretty strong for. It all works out doesn’t it? She gets to be with a guy and please her father at the same time.”

Rosalie place her hand on Bette’s. “You were with her. You shared such an intimate part of that woman. Do you think in your heart that she could a be equally happy with a man? I’m not a talking about superficial happiness Bette. I’m a talking about real happiness…the part that touches your soul. The part that knows that there is only one being in the world who knows that place…that part of you that no one else has known.”

“She was with this other chick, Helena. Someone else has known it,” Bette said bitterly.

Rosalie arched a brow. “You have been with me…does that mean what you had with Tina means any less?”

No matter where Bette tried to go with the conversation, Rosalie had an answer; and a wise one at that.

“It doesn’t matter Ro.”

“Why doesn’t it Bette?”

”Because… you can’t chase after someone who doesn’t want to be chased.”


	123. Chapter 123

CHAPTER 123

Tina wasn’t sure what she would even say to Alice and Dana. On one hand she didn’t want to divulge a thing about what Eric had said, for she didn’t want to give them anymore reason to despise him than they had already. On the other, she didn’t have too many people she could share her frustrations with who weren’t just as friendly with Eric as well as ask for their help.

She lifted her finger and pressed the buzzer to Alice’s apartment. 

“Hey, is that you TK?” came the voice from the intercom.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll buzz you in.”

Once inside the building, Tina ascended the stairs to the second level and located Alice’s apartment. She felt awkward that she hadn’t yet checked out the new digs Alice had leased for the summer, and they were only a few weeks short of returning back to school.

Before she could knock on the apartment door, Alice swung it open.

“Hey! It’s about fucking time!” Alice grabbed hold of Tina and pulled her in for a firm hug. “Where the hell have you been all summer girl?”

Tina looked over Alice’s shoulder at Dana, who was smiling at the bear hug Tina had found herself stuck in. “Umm…around…you know how it is.”

Alice pulled back. “No, I don’t…well not really.”

Tina moved onto Dana and shared a less aggressive hug as Alice babbled in the background about how long it had been since they had spoken.

“I know I’m an ass. I’m sorry about that.”

“So what’s new?” Dana asked as they settled in the small den.

“Not much, same old stuff.”

“How’s the boyfriend?” Alice forced a smile. “Things must be going pretty well?”

“Yeah, he’s…he’s good.” Tina did her best to hide the difficulties from her expression. “Studying a lot through the summer.”

“What a nerd,” Alice muttered.

“Al, come on.” Dana shook her head, admonishing her friend.

“Sorry. So, things are good?”

“Yeah…I mean we have bumps here and there, like all couples.” Tina said defensively.

Dana wasn’t convinced Tina was being forthright, but she didn’t feel it was her place to push the issue. Alice asked a few questions which offered Tina all the room to share if things weren’t going so well, and she obviously chose not to go there. Dana wasn’t going to escalate the matter any further. 

Tina looked at both her friends. They had known one another long enough to read the subtle expressions and silent thoughts. No doubt they sensed something was up. “I need your help.”

#

Rosalie felt that what Bette had said held some substance. You certainly couldn’t chase after someone who didn’t want to be chased. On the other hand, she wasn’t convinced that it wouldn’t be the right thing to do in this particularly case.

“I’m not sure that she wouldn’t want to be chased.”

Bette shook her head in disagreement. “I honestly doubt that Ro. I can’t tell you how many times I had left that door open for her to come back in.” Bette pulled her feet up onto the sofa and folded her legs Indian style. “It’s not what she wants.”

It pained Rosalie to see the hurt in Bette’s eyes. In her heart she wondered how happy Bette would ever be without Tina walking beside her. “I wish so much that there was something I could do for you Bette…to change things.”

Bette tilted her head and offered a warm smile. “You’re so kind Rosalie. You are probably the most sincere person I have ever met. 

“Thank you Bette.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Rosalie paused a moment, allowing her friend a chance to sort her thoughts a bit before she continued. “So what will you do now?”

“I don’t know. Things aren’t going to work out for Jan and I. It’s not fair to her that I stay with her for the wrong reasons. She deserves to have a woman who cares for her one hundred percent.”

“As do you.”

“I know…but…the only woman who I feel I can give one hundred percent of myself too doesn’t want me.”

“I understand.” Rosalie surely did understand, for Bette was that woman she wanted to give one hundred percent of herself to.

Bette saw how Rosalie could relate to what she had said, and it upset her deeply. “I’m sorry Rosalie. I’m here bitching about the very same thing you are feeling.” Bette stood from the sofa and paced the floor. “I can tell you that somewhere out there is someone for you who can love you back just as much as you love me…and yet….I can’t seem to believe it for myself. I can’t get my head wrapped around the idea that there is another Tina out there for me.”

“There isn’t…not one just like her that is. But, maybe there is one who comes pretty damn close.”

“I highly doubt it,” Bette said as she returned to the sofa.

“You never know Bette. I love you so a very much. Right now I couldn’t imagine finding another woman who I could feel ‘this’ with. But I also know that I have to believe that there is someone that can come pretty damn a close, or maybe even surpass. It’s hard to let myself believe that while I feel so much for you, but I just gotta believe. I just gotta believe that there is someone else who can evoke just as much feeling from me and maybe even feel the same in return.”

“Oh I hope so Rosalie.” Bette pulled Rosalie in for a hug, feeling Rosalie’s face snuggle against her shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, and to have someone love you back as much as I know you love me.” Bette pulled away and looked into Rosalie’s eyes. “You can’t imagine how grateful I am for you and all you have taught me.”

“I’m grateful too. I learned so much about who I am because of you. I always felt a little different than the other girls, growing up that is. When you came to Italy last summer I found myself feeling something deep for the very first time. I was flustered at the thought of how I physically reacted to you…through the visual stimulation at first, and then everything else that soon followed.”

“I’m glad that you can walk away with something besides a broken heart,” Bette said solemnly. 

“I can Bette. My heart…well…there is an Italian proverb that says, a tutto ce` rimedio, fuorche` alla morte, which means there is a cure for everything except death.”

“Oh goodness, I would hope so.”

Rosalie chuckled at Bette’s surprise. “Of course silly. Morto un papa, se ne fa un altro”

“What about your Papa?” Bette questioned anxiously. “I hope he never finds out I broke your heart, as I’m sure he’d make minced meat out of me as a special for his market some week.”

Rosalie dropped her head back against the sofa as she laughed heartily. “Oh Bette, you have Papa so wrong. He would never hurt you. Plus, I didn’t say papa in terms of my father. What I said to you was basically life goes on.”

“Oh,” Bette smiled. “Sorry…”

Bette and Rosalie turned their attention towards the front door after hearing it close.


	124. Chapter 124

CHAPTER 124

Jan heard soft music as soon as she stepped into the apartment. The light which usually crept from the living room to the foyer was more dim than usual, a sign that there were fewer lamps being utilized. For a moment she feared what she might be walking in on, a fear that grew further the moment her eyes caught the bottle of wine on the end table as she approached the room. As soon as she stepped through the doorway, she was relieved to find both women sitting casually on the sofa. 

“Hey,” Jan said in Bette’s direction.

“Hi.” Bette felt her face warm. Had Jan come home only thirty minutes earlier, she would have walked in on her and Rosalie having sex. “I didn’t think you were going to come home tonight.”

Now that she was closer, Jan could see that there was one empty wine bottle, and half of a second gone. “Wow…guess you two were having a party for two huh?”

“We had a little bit of wine,” Bette admitted.

Jan didn’t want to let her jealousy rise once again, and decided it was best that she bury such feelings in order for she and Bette to get beyond all the tension that the day had brought. “Bette…can we talk?”

“Sure,” Bette replied, not making a move to go somewhere more private until Rosalie nudged her with her elbow. “Um…where do you want to talk?”

“Our bedroom?”

Bette rose from the sofa and followed Jan to their room.

#

Tina was flustered and the red in her cheeks were proof of it. “I didn’t know I still had them, and now it is a huge fucking mess.”

Dana looked from Tina to Alice and then back to the troubled blonde. “Tee, you’re still being really vague. What didn’t you know you had?” 

Tina knew she was talking in riddles. She took a deep breath and started over. “Eric was using my computer and came across something that … well that made him go nuts.”

“I thought he was already nuts!” Alice quipped, quickly apologizing after an elbow to her side. “Sorry.” 

“Anyway, I…well…” Tina was both embarrassed and anxious. “I had…these old pictures on there.”

“Of?” Dana encouraged.

“Of Bette.”

“So, what the fuck Tee, are you not suppose to have any lesbian friends now?” Alice’s hair stood up on her neck. “He’s such a fucking bigot.”

“Al, stop. No matter what you think, it’s still Tina’s boyfriend.” Dana was firm, clearly expressing her disapproval of Alice’s continuous efforts to share her dislike of Eric.

Tina dropped her head and placed her fingers through her blonde hair. “The pictures were of Bette and I having sex.”

“What?!” Dana asked with surprise. “Really?”

“No fucking way!” Alice laughed out loud. “Oh my god, I would have paid anything to see his expression. You have to tell us, did he start getting all turned on looking at them, or did he vomit? He probably vomited because that is just his style, so vile…”

“Alice please, this isn’t a laughing matter!” Tina stammered. “He is my boyfriend, and we are serious. I know he isn’t what you might want for me, but he is still the person I love and who I am in a relationship with.”

Both girls became silent as they allowed Tina to talk.

“…he was pissed off. Of course he was pissed finding his girlfriend fucking someone else, not to mention … a woman. He wasn’t pleased in the least, and I’m going to have to work extra hard to convince him that … that Bette was in my past and it was just a phase or something.”

“A phase? A phase my ass Tina.” Alice couldn’t help herself. She was tired of watching Tina live in Denialville. “There is no way in hell that you didn’t get wet over Bette.”

Dana rolled her eyes. “Jesus Al do you have to say it like that?”

“What? I could have said, there is no way in hell that you didn’t enjoy placing your juicy pussy on Bette’s face as she ate you out, or…that you didn’t enjoy rubbing clits together until –“

“Enough already!” Dana shouted. “It’s not up to you to decide what’s best for Tina.”

“Maybe not, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t share my opinion? If I just let her walk into some life that she isn’t happy in.”

“Alice, my happiness is my own to define,” Tina shot back.

“What about Johnny? Tina, you couldn’t stand sex with him.”

“No I could not, but that was different. Johnny….he….he wasn’t tender or caring. He was all about getting laid and was a little more rough than I would have liked him to be.”

“So you like Eric because he has more feminine qualities?” Alice retorted sarcastically.

“Eric is hardly feminine and you know it.” Tina looked up at the ceiling. “Look, I know that you guys still wish that Bette and I were together, but we aren’t. This is my life now. I’m going to make this work Alice, no matter what.”

“What do you need from us Tina.” Dana’s question was genuine.

“When Eric saw the picture, he said that the woman looked familiar. It wasn’t a full face shot, but the back of her and part of her profile.”

“Okay…so…” Alice tried to draw more out.

“My concern is that I make sure he is never in the same company as Bette.”

“How are we suppose to prevent that?” Alice asked.

“Yeah, that would be hard,” Dana added. “I mean, he could bump into her just about anywhere Tee.”

“I know that, but I am thinking more along the idea of any parties that we sometimes go to. If it’s something that you think Bette might be going to or not, I need to know.”

“There wasn’t really any this past year, outside of the big game in November.”

“I know. I am a little worried about that already. I don’t know if Bette plans on going this year or not.”

“Why can’t you just ask her?” Dana questioned.

Tina looked away from her friend. “I haven’t been that great at keeping in touch.”

“No shit, we hardly heard from you all summer,” Alice reminded.

“I haven’t spoken to Bette since the big game last year.”

“Seriously?” Dana was stunned. “I thought you both were on speaking terms?” 

“We were…are…I mean, we never had any words or anything. We just … we stopped talking I guess.

“You best start talking and letting her know what’s going on,” Alice suggested. “If she bumps into him, she probably won’t deny it.”

“It would probably hurt her more if Tina asked her to deny they were ever together. God, I couldn’t imagine being told I had to deny a relationship that I had been in where … where there was so much love and feeling present.” 

Dana had a point…a very good one at that.

“Is that what you want to do…for yourself? Deny you ever were with Bette?” Alice’s question prompted Tina to close her eyes tight. It would be a painful admission.

“If it is…then you know what you have to do right?” Dana waited for Tina’s answer.


	125. Chapter 125

CHAPTER 125

Jan sat on the end of the bed and waited for Bette to sit beside her before beginning a conversation. “I’m sorry.” Her words were quiet, tentative.

Bette remained silent. Feelings of guilt washed over her like never before. It had been the first time she had ever “cheated” on someone. She felt disgusted with herself and what she allowed to happen. 

“Bette, when I saw those pictures I just…I felt this jealous streak rise so high and I couldn’t stop it.” Jan looked from her lap to Bette’s face. “I talked with Shane. She told me about Tina.”

Bette snapped out of the guilt trance she had fallen into. “What about Tina?”

“I went to see her. We had a few beers. I told her what I had found…the pictures.”

Bette rolled her eyes. “God Jan, it isn’t something that Tina or I had ever planned on sharing with others.”

“I’m sorry okay? I just wanted clarification Bette. I mean, that chick was all over you at the big game last year.”

“No she wasn’t.” Bette defended. “You’re dreaming.”

“No I’m not.” Jan was firm. “She was trying to snake her way back in. You couldn’t see it, but I could.”

Bette didn’t say anything in return.

“All I am saying is that I felt threatened back then. I was aware she was your ex, and that there were feelings there. When I came across the pictures today, in my eyes it confirmed all my fears. It wasn’t until Shane told me the whole story did I feel at ease.”

“What whole story, and why is Shane talking about my love life?”

“Because she is my friend Bette, and your friend too.”

The look on Bette’s face was an unpleasant one. She was a rather quiet young woman and didn’t like the details of her life, particularly her previous relationship with her present girlfriend discussed.

“She explained the turmoil between you and Tina, and how she is with some guy now.”

No matter how often Bette heard it outwardly and inward, it hurt to hear Tina was with someone, particularly a man. It made her feel that the relationship they had shared in high school wasn’t as fulfilling to Tina, for if she was satisfied with a man today, then in Bette’s eyes it meant that Tina wasn’t as satisfied with a woman.

“Shane had said that they seem pretty serious, living together and all.”

“Is this what you brought me into the bedroom to discuss? My former lover?” Bette’s words had an edge of bitterness to them. 

“No…yes…well I guess in some ways I just wanted to share that I don’t feel as threatened as I had.” Jan reached for Bette’s arm. “I’m sorry. I know that you and Tina were really close, and I was being selfish in not trying to understand that connection. I was making it all about me, and my own insecurities.”

“I haven’t spoken to Tina since that day.”

“What day?”

“The big game.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“It’s in the past. We haven’t even kept in touch Jan. Obviously we can’t be friends, let alone be lovers.” Bette looked down at her lap in disappointment, something which sparked Jan’s intuition.

“You sound disenchanted.”

Bette wasn’t sure when she would have the impending conversation with Jan that things were likely over between them. She didn’t want to have Rosalie present for anymore drama, and knowing Jan, there would be drama. “I’m just feeling a lot of confusion at the moment. Today was an extremely stressful day, that’s all.”

“I know it was…I’m really sorry about that.” Jan placed her hand on Bette’s thigh. “Is there anyway I can make it up to you?” She smiled at Bette, arching her brow to emphasize that the options were endless.

#

Shane was surfing around her Myspace page when she noticed she had a “friend request” message. She clicked on the link and it opened a picture of a rather attractive Latino girl. The message read, “Hey, saw you on Kim’s page. You’re a hottie, wanna add me?”

“Fuck yeah I want to add you.” Shane clicked the ‘accept’ button and then clicked her picture, hoping that it wasn’t set to friends only. When the page opened up, she was delighted. Her thrill rose when she caught the message indicating that Carmen was currently online.

As pictures of Carmen streamed across part of the page in a powerpoint fashion, Shane felt her mouth drop. She had seen a lot of girls, but never had she seen someone this incredibly sexy and beautiful. Her eyes widened as pictures of Carmen in her skimpy swimsuit flashed before her. “Damn…she is one fucking hot looking girl!”

Shane quickly crafted a message on Carmen’s page, openly professing her opinion on this Latino beauty. It wasn’t long before she found a message in return on her own page. Each time she sent one back, she found one in return. The smile grew with each passing minute.

#

“What do you think?” Alice asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t imagine that it is going to go over very well, but it’s something she really needs to do if she doesn’t want anymore conflict between her and Eric.”

“I cannot stand him Dane.”

“Really? I’m not sure that any of us knew that.”

Alice half smiled. “Shut up, you know that I don’t. I just don’t like seeing someone I care for making such a big mistake.”

“Alice, if Tina is happy it isn’t a mistake.”

“Do you think Tina is happy?”

Dana struggled with that, for it was something she wasn’t completely sure about. “Sometimes I think she isn’t, but then I give it a little more thought and reason and I think she must be. She is a young, nice looking girl. Why would she settle down with some guy at this age if she really wasn’t in love with him?”

“Hello? Dana where have you been? You know how she wants to please her father so much.”

“But she was off at school Al. She didn’t have any pressure from her father. She was away from home and free to make her own decisions without any interference from him.”

As much as it went against Alice’s own position on the matter, it did make sense. “I don’t know why she chose a penis but she did.”

“Why did you?” Dana shot back with a hint of jealousy.

“What?”

“You and Joe the jock.”

Alice felt herself getting defensive. “You know quite well why. I wanted us to still be going strong while we were at school. You were the one who didn’t want to be out.”

“Ouch.” The words stung, but there was truth to them.

“I’m sorry Dane, it’s true. Don’t put that one on me.”

#

Rosalie relaxed on the sofa, letting the soft music put her in a state of peace. She hadn’t heard any loud voices coming from the bedroom, which made her feel at ease that Bette and Jan were at least working out the differences they had earlier in the day.

While Rosalie’s thoughts drifted to Bette Porter, the young woman who made an enormous impact on her life, she was distracted by a light knock on the front door. She looked from the door towards the hall that Bette and Jan had walked down, unsure if she should welcome their visitor. Not wanting to interrupt the two girls, Rosalie decided to greet the person herself.


	126. Chapter 126

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay....I have to say that you gals are making me laugh so hard. I REALLY needed to see your comments and the fun in each of them. I needed that lift today, and I am thankful that you have taken the time to be so kind to leave comments, and even to reply back to each other - which I think that in and of itself is so nice to see!
> 
> Now...as lyrics to a song say, "somebody's knockin, should I let them in...."

CHAPTER 126

Jan leaned in and slid her hand to the back of Bette’s neck. “I’d like to make it up to you baby.”

Bette turned her head to the side as Jan began leaning in further. “I’m…just not in the mood.”

Jan smiled. “I can soooo get you in the mood.” Her words were laced with seduction. “I know what you like…”

Once again Bette pulled back, this time with more conviction. “I can’t Jan…I … just can’t.” Bette stood from the bed and walked towards the dresser. She looked at Jan’s reflection in the mirror.

Bette watched as Jan rose from the bed and slipped her hand around Bette’s waist. “I’ve done my best to show how sorry I am Bette. What else do you want me to do?”

Bette dropped her head. She didn’t want to get into it, but it didn’t seem that Jan was going to take no for an answer. She felt the warm breath of her lover on the back of her neck.

“Please tell me what I can do,” she whispered near Bette’s ear.

Bette closed her eyes tight as her face looked towards the ground. “I’m confused…I need to sort some things out.”

Jan lifted her head from Bette’s neck and looked at her face in the mirror. “About?”

“Everything…and…nothing.”

“Huh?”

“Can’t you see? I’m just confused Jan. I need time to sort my head.”

“To sort what? I thought us talking about things was helping to sort some stuff out.”

Bette didn’t look up. Her eyes gazed at one spot on the carpet. “All this talk…about Tina….it…it’s just hard, ya know? We didn’t break up because I was the one who wanted that. I didn’t choose it. It wasn’t that I lost feelings for her…”

Jan’s lashes fluttered. “What are you saying?”

Bette felt her heart begin to race. The words were spinning around in her head at a hundred miles per hour. She felt herself preparing for a complete meltdown, while another part of her tried desperately to keep it together.

#

When the door opened, Tina had prepared to see Bette or Jan. She was quite surprised to see Rosalie, a girl whom she had seen only in pictures on Bette’s Myspace page. “Um…I…I’m sorry, I expected Bette.”

Rosalie felt the blonde looked familiar, but didn’t immediately place her. “Oh, she is with Jan in the other room. You are?”

“Tina…her friend Tina.”

Rosalie’s brows arched. “Tina,” she repeated. “Uh…come in, please.”

“Thank you.” Tina wondered what Rosalie was doing in Bette and Jan’s apartment. For a quick moment she thought that Jan and Bette had split, and Rosalie was Bette’s new half. “I probably should have called first.”

“I’m a sure Bette will be happy to see you,” Rosalie replied. “Would you like something to drink?” In typical Italian fashion, Rosalie offered a warm welcome even in a place which wasn’t her own. “There is a some dinner left over, are you hungry?”

“No, no thank you.”

“Come…come sit in the living room.”

As Tina proceeded further into the apartment, her eyes wandered around the room. She immediately spotted a mural on the wall. A smile grew on her face as she approached it.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Rosalie asked.

“It’s stunning.” 

“Bette said she painted that.”

“No doubt.” Tina’s eyes absorbed every piece of Bette’s creativity. As she turned, her eyes scanned the room, feeling Bette’s presence in many of the decorative elements. 

“Please, sit. Perhaps I should go and get her?”

“Oh no, I can wait. I wouldn’t want to interrupt her.” As Tina walked around the coffee table, she noticed the two wine glasses and empty bottle. 

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like a glass?” 

“Thank you, but I have a long ride back home this evening.”

“Where is home?”

“I live back where I grew up. Well not exactly in the same place.” Tina smiled. “I live with my boyfriend in Los Angeles.”

“I see.” Rosalie’s eyes travelled Tina’s face and body. She thought she was a beautiful girl, whose features were alluring. The delicacy of this young girl was something which she could see blending well with Bette. “Well…I’m from Ireland.”

Tina laughed. “Right.”

Rosalie couldn’t help but laugh at herself. “I know, I could never a pull that joke off on anyone. I’m from Italy.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that.”

“I came here for a week, to visit this beautiful country.”

“And you picked California?!”

Rosalie chuckled. “Well…I don’t really know anyone else, and this is where Bette lives. So I came to see her.”

They say that it only takes a few minutes to know if you can mesh well with someone. For Tina and Rosalie, they were both at ease with one another pretty quickly. Perhaps for both of them, the fact they had seen the other while surfing around on Myspace, there was already a small connection. For Rosalie, she felt she knew a lot about Tina already from Bette.

“You came all the way here to see Bette,” Tina repeated. “You must think an awful lot about her.”

“I do,” Rosalie sighed. She glanced at Tina, feeling the time was right to give some help to her friend. “Have you ever found yourself in one of those situations, where you fall completely head over heals for someone, only to find that they don’t feel the same?”

Tina paused, giving the question some thought. “I can’t say that I have.”

“It’s not pleasant…the feeling.”

“I imagine it wouldn’t be, not at all.”

“Well…that’s kind of what it’s like with Bette and I.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. See…I didn’t even realize I was as gay as I was until I met Bette.”

Tina laughed. “She pulled the ‘gayness’ out?”

“Well, you know what I mean.”

“I do. It just sounded kind of funny is all.”

“I understand. I met Bette, and these feelings, they were just so wonderful. They seemed to come out of a nowhere, for me at least. I guess you could say, I fell head over heals in love with her.”

Tina was surprised that Rosalie was sharing so much with her. “Wow…does she know how you feel?”

“Yeah, she does. But…”

“But?”

“It’s like I was asking you before….about loving someone and realizing they don’t love you the same way. That’s what it is…with Bette and I.”

“She doesn’t like you the same…that’s what you are saying?”

#

“Okay Bette, I fucked up. I admitted that I didn’t handle things appropriately, but why on earth must you go off the deep end here, saying that you have to sort things out?”

Bette closed her eyes and tightened them. “I don’t want to get into this right now okay? Let’s just talk about it tomorrow after Rosalie leaves.”

“Why? Why can’t we just talk about what is going on right now and get it behind us?”

Bette was losing her patience. She felt extremely shamed and guilt ridden. Why did it seem that it was such a right thing to do only an hour ago…but now, now it was killing her. 

“Come on babe…” Jan urged. “If you just talk to me maybe I can help?” Jan turned Bette around so the dresser was behind her. She reached down to unbutton Bette’s jeans but found them already undone. She looked at them, a bit puzzled.

Bette looked down. In her mind it was a dead giveaway of what had occurred. Of course to Jan, her first thought was that Bette had forgotten to button them back up when she visited the bathroom last. “I’m sorry Jan…”

Jan looked from Bette’s jeans to her eyes. An expression of torment washed over every bit of skin on her face. It was then that Jan knew there was something more about the jeans.

Bette stared into her eyes. “I won’t say it was a mistake, because I think people use that too loosely when they cheat. They know what they are doing…and they do it anyway. That isn’t a mistake…that’s being selfish.”

Jan’s eyes filled with tears as her mouth tightened. “You what! You…” Her voice trembled. “You cheated on me?”

“I’m sorry…I’m truly –“ Before Bette could reiterate her apology for a second time, she felt the palm of Jan’s hand slap her across her face. 

“Fuck you Bette Porter! FUCK YOU!”


	127. Chapter 127

CHAPTER 127

Tina looked at Rosalie. “Um…perhaps I should go?”

“I’m outta here. You can fuck her all night if you want,” Jan yelled as she exited the bedroom and walked towards the living room.

“Jan, stop…” Bette followed behind, holding the cheek of her face as the sting of the slap lingered.

Jan stopped, but it wasn’t because Bette asked her to, it was the sight of Tina Kennard sitting in the living room. “Fucking great! What on earth are you doing here now?”

Tina stood from the chair, alarmed by Jan’s behavior. “I probably should go. This seems like a bad time.”

“Tina?” It had been a long time since Bette laid eyes on the blonde that made her heart sing. For a brief moment, nothing else existed in the room…not Jan…not Rosalie.

“Don’t bother, I’m outta here.” Jan grabbed her jacket and glared at Rosalie as she put it on. “I knew I should have trusted my gut feeling about you. You’re nothing but a vile snake…a…a whore who goes after someone’s girlfriend knowing quite well that she is NOT available.”

“Jan, ENOUGH!” Bette admonished. 

Jan ignored Bette. “You’ll do it again. I know your type. You profess what a big mistake you made, and down the road you continue fucking around. People like you have no class…no morals….nothing.”

Bette was furious. “Jan I said that is enough. You want to get angry, you get angry with me.”

Rosalie remained silent, allowing Jan to let her frustrations out while Tina remained quietly cautious. It didn’t take an Einstein for her to figure out what had happened.

“You will too. Once a cheat, always a cheat. I’ll be back to get my things. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t be here when I do.” Jan slammed the front door behind her.

Bette massaged her forehead, embarrassed by the spectacle that was made, especially in front of Tina. “I apologize for that.”

Tina stood standing, surprised by the unexpected events. She wasn’t sure what to say, given the admission Jan made while she had exited the bedroom.

“I…I’m so very sorry Bette.” Rosalie felt terrible. She didn’t want to add to the stress in Bette’s life, and certainly didn’t want to be the reason that things ended with Jan, no matter how much she felt they didn’t belong together.

“No, I’m sorry. She shouldn’t have said all those terrible things to you. None of it is true Ro. That was just her blowing off steam.”

Rosalie looked over at Tina. Her eyes were glued on Bette. “You know what? I could use a little fresh air. I’ll give you both some privacy.” Rosalie retrieved her shall and without any resistance from Bette, she opened the sliding doors from the living room and sat on the balcony. Down below she watched as Jan screamed away in her car.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Bette asked.

“No thanks.”

“Sit…please.” Bette gestured for Tina to sit on the sofa, taking a seat there herself. “How did you find me?”

Tina grimaced.

“I’m sorry, that sounded like I’ve been hiding…and I haven’t been.”

“It’s okay. I had visited Alice and Dana this afternoon and they told me.”

”Ahh, okay. How are they? Have they gotten back together?”

”No, I don’t believe they have. I think they miss you…you should think about calling them.”

Bette looked down at her hands which lay on her lap. “I haven’t been so good about keeping in touch with everyone.”

Tina stared at the features on Bette’s face as if she were looking at them for the first time. At one moment in time, she had known every detail. Today, it all seemed so new. Each characteristic was something she took in and absorbed. She recalled how they could lay on a blanket for hours, simply staring into one another’s eyes as they shared a kiss and caress in between. Her reflection of a happier time was interrupted by Bette’s question.

“So…what brings you here? I know you couldn’t have just been in the area,” Bette joked.

Tina forced a smile. “No…no I wasn’t.”

Bette soaked in the splendor before her. Her eyes traced the curve of Tina’s face, then lingered on her neck before returning her eyes to Tina’s. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

For Tina this was going to be harder than she had expected. For one, she didn’t expect Rosalie to be in America, and two…never expected such a crazy falling out with Jan. It didn’t take much for her to piece together that Jan had learned of an indiscretion between Bette and Rosalie. The conversation she shared with Rosalie earlier made it clear the Italian was quite taken with Bette, but that Bette wasn’t feeling the same deep emotion in return. Tina had always known Bette to be a woman who had to “feel” in order to be intimate. A part of her was curious as to what was going on, while another part of her felt she didn’t deserve to know.

“Tina?”

“Sorry.”

“You were pretty far away.”

“Yeah…for a moment I was.”

“So…what is it that you wanted to see me about?” Bette started to let some hope in. Perhaps Tina was there to share that she had a revelation, and things were over between she and Eric.

“This is kind of embarrassing.”

”It’s okay…go ahead,” Bette urged gently.

Tina didn’t realize how hard this was going to be. She played the scene over and over in her head on the way to Bette’s, yet it seemed incredibly difficult now that she was sitting before her.

“Tina, take a deep breath in and just let it out.”.

“Bette, do you remember those…those pictures we had taken?” Tina felt her cheeks flush. “You know…when we were goofing around with the camera one night when we were having sex?”

Of course Bette remembered, as it was the same thing that created the uproar that very day. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the present moment; Tina bringing it up after it had wreaked so much havoc. “Sure I do…seems to be the topic of the day.”

“Huh?”

“Jan and I still had a few boxes to unpack, from the move. We had gotten a little lazy over the past few weeks and just didn’t get around to unpacking them.”

“Okay…I don’t understand.”

”Well, for whatever reason I had packed them in a box that had some takeout menu’s. We were going to order out today and…”

“She found them?”

”Uh huh.”

”Fuck.”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Tina realized the undertone in Bette’s reply. “smart ass.”

“I know. I’m sorry…go ahead, continue with what you were going to say.”

”Well, today must be a day of surprising our significant others.”

”Why is that?”

”Well, Eric was using my computer this morning and…he…well he came across the pictures on my computer.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

”Oh wow. What did he say?”

”He wasn’t happy in the least. He’s a great guy Bette, but he is extremely set in his opinions, and…well…he doesn’t appreciate diversity when it comes to sexuality.”

Bette tightened her jaw. “Must get along pretty well with Papa Kennard.”

Tina didn’t appreciate the jab. “Let’s not get into that okay?”

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair.”

“Anyway…he was so upset over all of it and wanted me to get rid of them. He scared me when he said that you looked a little familiar.”

“What did you do?”

“I told him that he probably didn’t know you.”

“No, I meant…with the pictures.”

“I….I ended up….”


	128. Chapter 128

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ha Ha! The comments you gals are leaving put me in stitches. Thanks for commenting and for having fun.

CHAPTER 128

“….deleting them.”

Bette kept her disappointment to herself; It wasn’t a fair feeling to begin with. Tina had a life to live, and she understood that in order to keep her relationship on good terms with Eric that it was necessary. “I understand.”

Tina saw through Bette. It was often the unspoken words that said the most. “What I did was….I made a duplicate copy before I had deleted them in front of him.”

Bette’s eyes widened. “You did?”

”Yes.”

”Why?”

“Because…I suppose I felt it wasn’t my decision…to delete them. I felt pressured, and while I appreciate that he has a right to be upset about it, it was still my property.”

“Does he know?”

”No. I don’t plan on sharing that with him. I don’t need to shove that in his face, ya know what I mean?”

Bette nodded. “Why though? Why did you make a copy of them?”

Tina shrugged. “As I said…suppose because it wasn’t my decision.”

“Okay.” Bette would have loved to hear Tina say that she saved copy because she still had feelings. That revelation didn’t come.

“I’m still worried Bette.”

”That he will find the copies?”

”No, I’ve done a good job burying them, and he really doesn’t use my computer. It was unusual for him to do so in the first place.”

“So then…what are you worried about?”

“I’m afraid of him bumping into you. I didn’t go into any details at all, so for all he knows the woman he saw in the picture lives across the country now.”

Bette sensed where Tina was going. “Um…okay….so you are worried about him happening to be in the same company as me?”

Tina nodded. 

Bette could see that Tina cared enough about this relationship that she feared the repercussions. It seemed whenever she started to give the prospect of them one day getting back together, there was something that came along to push those thoughts backward. “What do you want me to do?”

Tina hesitated, a hesitation that lasted long enough to make both girls feel awkward.

“What do you want Tina?”

Tina’s throat felt dry as she attempted to speak. “I…I was hoping that if you ever were in his company that you may…maybe could just say that we didn’t know each other.”

The last thing Bette wanted was to form tears. She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “If that is how you feel.”

Tina’s brows twisted. She needed to save this relationship with Eric. Her father had come to like him very much over the summer, sharing many family cookouts together. In her father’s eyes Eric was going to make one fine son-in-law. Tina craved the feeling of acceptance from her father so much, and since her relationship with Eric, her father was becoming more closer to her as a result. She had never been able to have any real one on one conversations, but in recent months it is exactly what was happening. 

“Is that what you want?” Bette asked one more time.

Tina cringed. Deep within the depths of her heart, she knew there was only one love, and Eric wasn’t that “one.” Her choice was to live as an outcast in a relationship with Bette, or…to be able to attend family gatherings with her partner, being fully accepted.

“It’s not that easy,” Tina uttered softly.

“It’s never easy is it Tee?” Bette was hurt. She adored Tina, and if it weren’t for Rosalie forcing her to look deep within herself, she was doing fine just ignoring how crazy in love she still was with this girl. “Dad must be pretty happy that you’re seeing this guy huh?”

”Come on Bette. I don’t want to fight. I was hoping that I could talk to you and you would understand the difficult place I am in.”

Tina’s cell phone started sounding from the pocket of her jeans. The caller ID showed it was Eric. She pressed ignore and let it go to voicemail.

“I understand…that over the past year you haven’t changed. That your life mission is to continue pleasing your father.”

Tina looked to the ceiling as she sighed.

“Don’t you ever think back about how things were? About how intense our relationship was when we were together?”

Truth was, she did. She often fantasized about Bette when she and Eric were in bed. Never in a million years could she admit that, especially if she was going to make things work with this guy. 

“I guess you don’t,” Bette said with no hesitation.

“I have,” Tina replied weakly.

Bette’s expression showed she didn’t believe Tina.

“I have Bette. You know, walking this road hasn’t been real easy. If I wasn’t happy at all, I wouldn’t be with Eric. What we had was….well….it will always be close to my heart. It was deep….probably the deepest feeling I ever felt in my life…and ever will.”

Bette was surprised by what she heard. “Then why Tee? Why would you want to go every day without ever reaching that place? Is your father’s acceptance worth all that? Are you willing to walk away from a love you have known like what we shared?”

“Bette….” Tina felt the tears rising in her lids. “Please…”

”I can’t Tee. I can’t sit back and let you make the biggest mistake of your life. You are so young. You have a right to be happy and live a good life how ‘you’ want to live it.”

“You never change Bette. You think it’s so easy. Well it’s not that fucking easy okay? You don’t give a shit what your father thinks or says. Well I do okay? His opinion matters to me.”

Bette shook her head. “So, his happiness….it’s worth more than yours huh? I mean, as long as Daddy can be proud of his daughter, it doesn’t matter how miserable she is right?”

Tina wiped a stray tear as it rolled down her face. “You just….you don’t get it.”

“I get it. I have loved you with all my heart. There isn’t one damn girl that has come close to you Tina….not one. I…I don’t even…” Bette struggled to hold back her tears. “I don’t even know where I go from here anymore. Where do I go when I know that the one woman I would have wanted to spend the rest of my entire fucking life with doesn’t want that? Doesn’t want to be with me? Tell me…where do I go?”

Tina buried her face into her hands as she started to cry. “I don’t know…I…I just don’t fucking know Bette.”

The sheer curtain that covered the door to the balcony didn’t hide the emotional situation from Rosalie. Every now and then she glanced at the young couple, her heart breaking while at the same time remaining hopeful for Bette’s sake.

Bette wiped the tears which had run down her face. She didn’t know what to do or how to feel. She had felt a huge amount of energy and hope after talking with Rosalie about Tina. However, now she felt lower than before. It was far more easier to keep Tina in the past than the present.

“I’m sorry Bette…I really am. I know you will never understand, but…but either way I go I end up only being 50% happy anyway.” Tina was frustrated when a second call from Eric came to her cell phone. She quickly silenced it, once again forcing him to her voicemail.

With her lashes wet from tears, the brunette looked at Tina who appeared in an equal amount of pain. 

“See Bette, if I were to choose a life with you, I would very likely lose my family. Although I would be super happy with you, there would always be a part of me that was missing something pretty big in my life. On the other hand, if I choose to be with Eric, I may not be as happy as I ever was with you, but I would have my family. No matter which decision I make, I lose a piece of my happiness.”

”Then…”

”Wait…please. Bette, if I choose to be with you I lose not just some happiness, but I also lose a member of my family…my father. However, if I choose to be with Eric then even though I lose some happiness as well, I don’t lose a family member too. Do you understand that? I’m sitting here having to decide what would make me less happy and what would make me more happy.”

“…and…and I don’t make you happy enough to compensate any of that?”

”To compensate a relationship with my father?”

It sounded harsh, but in a sense it was what Bette was asking.

“I just couldn’t live with that Bette.”

”What happens when he dies Tina? Then you are without a family member anyway, and your whole theory is shot to hell.”

Tina shook her head. “I don’t know…I can’t even begin to get my head wrapped around that.”

“I can’t wait for you anymore Tee.”

”I never asked you to do that.”

“No…no you didn’t. But…I just want you to know that. Without any hope that we could ever be together, I just have to let it all go.”

When Tina’s cell phone rang for a third time, she quickly flipped it open. “What? I was busy with something.”

“Tina, did you get any of my messages?” Eric’s voice was serious.

“No, I didn’t listen to them yet.”

”Where are you right now?”

“I’m…I’m at a friends house.”

“You need to get to L.A. Medical as soon as you can.”

”What? Why what’s happened?”

“Your father—“

“What happened to him?” Tina went into panic mode. “What’s wrong?”

“Just get here okay? How far away are you?”

”Fuck Eric, I’m over an hour away.


	129. Chapter 129

CHAPTER 129

“Where are you?”

“I’m…I’m near Stanford.”

“Stanford!?”

“Just tell me what happened?”

“You’re Dad was taken by ambulance. Your mother was too upset to get into it, but said that he appeared unresponsive. I’m in the Emergency department’s waiting room. I’m waiting for her to come out of the Emergency and tell me what she knows.”

“I’m leaving now. Just call me as soon as you hear anything…I mean it Eric, anything.”

“I will.”

Tina flipped the phone. “It’s my father—“

”What happened?” Bette may not have liked Tina’s father very much, but it was the young girls dad, and no matter what, Bette wouldn’t want to see Tina hurt.

“I’m not sure. Mom found him unresponsive…I think, I don’t know.” As Tina started to stand from the sofa, she felt a hand take hold of her wrist.

”I can drive you Tee. You shouldn’t drive.”

Tina looked at Bette. At a time like this she needed her more than anything, but…it would raise too many questions. She threw her arms around Bette and hugged her tight. “I wish I could have you do that.”

“Then let me…please…just let me.”

“I can’t Bette…”

Bette watched as Tina grabbed her purse from the chair and headed towards the door.

“I can…I can have Rosalie drive my car and follow us. I can drive your car. I don’t have to go in the hospital, I just…I want to help.”

Tina held onto the front door as she looked back at Bette. “If I were to let you, I’m not sure I could let you go.”

Bette’s brows twisted. Don’t….then don’t let me go…please Tina…fight…fight for us. Those were the thoughts that tormented her as she watched Tina step outside closing the door behind her.

Bette dropped her head. She felt so helpless…so…insignificant.

#

Eric sat on the chair in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for an update. It had been thirty minutes since he spoke to Tina, and hoped he would have more news to share once she arrived.

“Are you Eric?” A nurse asked.

“Yes.”

“Mrs. Kennard would like you to be with her.”

“Sure.” 

Eric followed the nurse through the large double doors and proceeded to the Emergency Medicine Unit. As they turned the corner, he could see Room “A” with the curtain drawn and many legs surrounding the stretcher. “Do you know what’s going on?” he asked, hoping to get an idea before seeing Catherine.

“They are stabilizing him.”

Eric waited outside the room while the nurse went in. Soon Catherine joined him in the hall.

“Mrs. Kennard? What did they say?”

”They aren’t sure yet.”

”What exactly happened?”

“We were watching television in the living room. The only thing he complained about was feeling more tired than usual today. He ate a light dinner, and complained of a little indigestion. I got up to make him some tea, and when I returned he was slumped in his chair.”

”Jeez. Was he coherent?”

”I called to him. I said ‘Jerry…Jerry can you hear me?’ but he didn’t respond. I was panicked Eric. I just hurried to the phone and dialed 911.”

Eric placed his hand on Catherine’s shoulder. “I’m sure it was pretty stressful.”

Catherine wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “We had been talking about you and Tina just before I got up to get him his tea.”

”Really?”

“Yes. He adores you Eric….so very much.”

Eric felt a lump grow in his throat. He had come to enjoy Jerry’s company, getting to know him pretty well over the summer. “Do they think it’s a heart attack?”

”They are running tests. He hasn’t woken up yet, but thankfully he has a pulse and his pressure is stable. They said that it is normal for him to be out right now. Hopefully he will wake up in a little while. By that time I’m sure they will have a lot of results back from the tests they have been running.”

“I hope so.”

”Did you get in touch with Tina?”

”I did. I thought she was in the area, but she was visiting a friend up in Stanford.”

“Stanford?” Catherine asked aloud. “That’s a long trip…I wonder…” Before she finished her sentence, the light went on. It was where Bette was going to school.

“She is on her way though.” Eric looked down at his watch. “I would say she is probably about fifteen minutes away.”

Catherine looked back towards the curtain which remained drawn, hoping that her husband would pull through.

#

“I’m sorry Bette. I know it wasn’t what you hoped for.” Rosalie rubbed Bette’s back. “At least you got to say your peace right?”

“I suppose so.” Bette stood from the sofa. “I…I feel so lost Ro. How do you move forward huh?”

Rosalie stood from the sofa. “You have no choice but to move forward…just like I.”

Bette tightened her mouth. “I know…it would have been so much easier if it…it were you. If I had the same deep feelings.”

“But it isn’t that way, and you have two choices.”

”Two?”

“Yes. You either keep fighting for her, and not give up…or… or you move on Bette. I do believe in soul mates. I do believe that there are those who compliment our lives in ways which fit so unique. I also believe that there can be more than one person in the world who can do that.”

”But I thought you believed in –“

”I believe a lot of things, and a deep love like no other is fluid. We create our lives Bette…our meanings. Everything in this world is but a blank piece of paper until we give meaning to it.”

“That’s deep.”

”I know…but it’s what I believe.”

“You said I had two choices. I don’t see chasing Tina as a choice. She was honest Ro…and while I may be disappointed I appreciate her honesty. Her position is a hard one…filled with shades of gray. It’s not all that black and white. People think love is black and white but it isn’t necessarily that way.”

”Uh huh, and neither is Tina’s decision to be with Eric black and white either.”

Bette stared at Rosalie, taking in everything she was saying.

“Bette…why do you think Tina saved a copy of the pictures?”

“She said it was because deleting them wasn’t her choice.”

”Yes, that is what she said. However, when you are done with someone…over them…wouldn’t you imagine that pictures of a sexual nature would be deleted?”

Bette shook her head. “I didn’t delete them.”

”Because you never let her go…you still hold feelings for her. That time together was the best time of your life.”

Bette nodded in agreement.

“I suspect Tina kept them for the same reasons.”

“No other love…” Bette whispered under her breath.


	130. Chapter 130

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubbing hands together* Now ladies, Donna was nice enough to ask for an extra chappie last night on behalf of all of you, and well, I just happened to be in a generous mood. Hope you enjoy this next chapter... Stay well. ~ Chicki

CHAPTER 130

Once Jerry was brought up to the intensive care unit, the family assembled in his room, where they would remain for the duration of the evening. 

“It’s strange how you get used to the rhythm of those machines,” Catherine observed. “At first they seem so foreign and before you know it, you get use to hearing the heart monitor, blood pressure cuff starting, and oxygen sounds.”

Tina looked from her father to her mother. She looked so tense, worried, and alone. “We are lucky that it was only a mild heart attack.”

“He is going to have to make some pretty big dietary changes,” Catherine noted. “I’m sure he won’t like it, but it will be necessary.”

“Once he is better, no doubt the doctor will want him to exercise a little…go for some walks,” Eric added.

Tina slipped her cell phone from her pocket and viewed the text message she had just received. It was from Bette, wanting to know more about how Jerry was doing. Eric glanced down at her as she typed a message.

“I should start going for walks with him,” Catherine replied, continuing the discussion at hand. “It would be good for me too.”

The nurse came into the room and emptied the bag which was collecting his urine, making a few notes and smiling at the family before returning to the nurses station. 

“They have all been so very nice.” Catherine was grateful for the care and concern which she felt from the hospital staff. “We are fortunate to have good doctors and nurses working here.”

Eric nodded in agreement as he stared at Jerry. “It’s so weird seeing him like this. I’m used to seeing him putting a few golf balls around the backyard smoking his cigar.”

“Another thing that will have to go.”

“Mom, you can’t expect him to change everything about himself. He has to take small steps.”

“It will be necessary Tina.” Eric disagreed with her. “Once you have a heart attack there is damage to the heart—“

“Ci….gar.”

Every head turned towards Jerry.

“Dear? Did you…?”

Jerry’s eyelids start to flicker. He stared at the ceiling, appearing to try to focus on something.

“Daddy?” Tina rose from the chair as did her mom and went to his bedside.

Jerry looked at both, his confusion growing as he emerged from the unconscious state he had been in. His eyes looked down at the back of his hands and wrist. The IV line and plastic hospital bracelet was enough to clarify where he was. “What happened?”

Catherine lightly caressed his arm, explaining what had occurred earlier that day.

#

“What are you going to do about Jan?” Rosalie asked.

“I didn’t want to hurt her Rosalie…but…I did.” Bette looked down. “I had no right to cheat on her.”

”I’m sorry about that Bette. I should have stopped things…I knew better, but…I …I got selfish. That was pretty bad of me.”

”Please don’t blame yourself.”

“I do. If I didn’t come here, we wouldn’t have –“

”If you didn’t come here I wouldn’t have faced what you helped me see.”

”Perhaps, but now I can’t help but feel like all I did was pick an old wound of yours, and leave you not only with fresh heartache over Tina, but without a girlfriend as well.”

“Rosalie,” Bette turned and took hold of the young girls hands. “I am so grateful for what you have shown me. You know something, maybe I’ll never have a life with Tina, but…but at least I had a chance to say what I needed to, as well as face the truth that I have been keeping inside…”

”Which is?”

”That I still am pathetically in love with Tina, and that…that Jan just wasn’t what I really needed.”

“I wish you could have had a better outcome with Tina.”

“You have no idea how much I wish that as well. But the good thing is that Tina and I were able to talk. I’m going to really try to do a better job about keeping in touch…emails, a call every now and then.”

“What about your life?”

“I’ll take it day by day. I suppose if someone should come along that makes my heart skip a beat, my palms sweat, and which I lose sleep over…well…maybe I’ll just have to keep my heart open to exploring something further. For now….I’ll just take things day by day.

Rosalie formed a warm smile on her face. “Good, I’ll be the first to send you the best wishes ever if you should find someone close to what you once had.”

Bette and Rosalie shared a strong hug, reaffirming their close friendship.

#

Everyone in the room was quiet, listening as the doctor talked about what would be happening in less than ten hours. “Once we put two stents in, it should help prevent something like this from happening again.”

”I thought they were saying it was a ‘mild’ heart attack though?” Eric inquired. 

“The heart attack itself was mild, but the tests showed that he has blockages which we need to take care of sooner than later. If we don’t do something…the next one, it could be fatal.”

The harsh reality was bringing the mood down fast. 

“At least we can do something…to reduce the chance of a second event.” The doctor tried to encourage. “He’ll be brought into surgery in the morning. In the meantime, enjoy your visit with him this evening, but be sure he gets some rest.”

“Thank you doctor.” Catherine stared at her husband while the doctor left the room. “Well…it’s a blessing that this happened, because at least you know there are some blockages and now they can work on preventing this from being more significant next time.”

Jerry was worried, and the family could see it. “Take care of her Eric,” Jerry said weakly, his eyes focusing on his daughter.

Eric turned towards Tina. “I plan to Mr. Kennard.”

“If I don’t make it…I want you both to make me proud.”

”Jerry stop talking like that, you hear me?!” Catherine scolded.

“I’m just saying…I would like to leave this world knowing that my little girl was in good hands. Have a future. Children. A good home.”

Tina felt the tears grow in her eyes. “Daddy, stop…I don’t like you talking like that.” 

Jerry ignored the comments. “Promise me…promise me you will make a life with this good boy here Tina. He can give you a wonderful future. He’s…he’s incredibly intelligent and will make one fine lawyer some day.”

“Please…” Tina cried as Eric wrapped his arm around her. “Make him stop,” she pleaded into Eric’s shoulder.

“Jerry, you have to keep a positive attitude. I have too many damn things on that honey do list that you haven’t gotten to yet.” Catherine’s voice was shaking as she held back as much emotion as possible.

“Promise me…” Jerry insisted. 

“I promise,” Eric said. “I’ll take care of her Mr. Kennard. I’ll make you proud…” Eric tightened his hug around Tina. “We both will.”


	131. Chapter 131

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this...posting first thing in the morning! Hope you like...

CHAPTER 131

FOUR DAYS LATER…..

Bette threw her bags onto the floor just before she threw herself onto the bed. She stared at the ceiling of her bedroom, a room where she had spent most of her entire life except the last year and a half. It should have been familiar, but in an odd way it felt quite strange. It wasn’t long before she felt strangled by a lack of privacy as she rose to answer the knock on her bedroom door.

“Hey baby girl…can I come in?”

“Oh it’s you.”

“Well hello to you to my sweet sister.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I thought it was Mom following me in here already.”

Kit smiled. “She’s missed you. Be prepared to get spoiled. I think she is putting together a big pot of her famous baked beans.”

“Really? I have missed them.”

”I bet.” Kit sat on the futon that was across from Bette’s bed. “So, have you heard from Tina today?”

“Not yet. I told her I would be driving down with Shane, and we would be here about 2 o’clock.”

“Where is Shane?”

“She said she needed to buy a new dress shirt and was going to take a run to the mall.”

”Didn’t want to go huh?”

”No, I just thought I would veg out here.”

“You seem sad Bette.”

Bette nodded. “I hate feeling like this Kit.”

”Like…like what?”

Bette sat up on the bed. “I want to be there for Tina right now…ya know? I want to be the one that holds her right now as she cries and grieves the loss of her father.”

”You can be Bette. You’re still her friend…you can be.”

”No, not just as her friend. I want to soak up all her needs…all her wants…and provide all the nourishment. I just want to be her rock, and my hands are tied. I can’t fucking do a thing that I want to.”

”I don’t understand…why can’t you?”

Bette stood from her bed and walked to her window where she stared at the street below. “She doesn’t want her boyfriend knowing about us…that we were together. I’m suppose to lie to him and deny I even know her.”

” Wait what? Why?”

“Because, he came across some compromising pictures we had taken when we were getting our groove on one night.”

Kit laughed. “Girl you been showing your booty to the camera!?” Kit couldn’t help but continue to laugh at the revelation.

“Shut it. The fact is, is that Eric told her to get rid of them and she kept a copy. He made her nervous when he told her that I looked familiar.”

“Oh…so he is wasn’t too happy with your booty eh?”

”No smart ass he wasn’t. Can’t you see though, that is why my hands are tied. I’m not suppose to exist. Tina can’t let him know that we even know one another.”

”Then how on earth girl are you gonna explain the relationship between the two of you?”

”I’m not.”

”You’re not? So you just randomly go to funeral homes and give your respects to the family of those who have passed away and who you didn’t know?”

“That’s retarded.”

”No kidding.”

”I’m going to just say that I’m a friend of Shane’s.”

“But if he saw a picture of you, don’t you think he’ll know anyway?”

“No.”

”Why not?”

Bette started to blush. “I don’t want to get into the details. It wasn’t a good shot…not enough for him to be able to tell I guess.”

“It will be hard to go to the funeral home tonight and make pretend you don’t know her.”

“My point exactly. So…not only do I have to accept that I can’t be there for her in the way I really want…more than anything else, but I also have to come to terms with the fact that I have to keep a distance too.”

Kit felt for her sister. If there was anyone more aware of how Tina touched Bette’s life, it was her. “I’m sorry baby girl.”

Bette shrugged, as if it were nothing.

“I know this has to be really hard for you. When do you think that…well that…” Kit was scared to finish speaking her thoughts aloud.

“What?”

“It’s just that you can’t let your life pass you by Bette. At what point to you accept that no matter how much you may be in love with her, that it isn’t going to happen?”

Bette lay on the bed and turned on her side. “I don’t know Kit.”

Kit placed her hand on her sisters shoulder, offering a symbol of comfort before she left the room.

#

“I feel bad for Tee,” Dana said as she brushed her hair. “I mean, I can’t imagine if my dad died.”

“Your father is different Dane. Tina’s was a controlling asshole.”

”Al, that’s wrong.”

“No it isn’t. It’s the truth.”

”It isn’t our place to judge him. I’m sure the good Lord is doing that now.”

“Well I hope he rots in hell. He messed up Tina’s life so much. He never cared about her happiness, just his own. His own fucked up pride. His own want and desire to look good in the community. It’s a shame that Tina let him manipulate her so much. So much for therapy huh?”

Dana placed Alice’s brush on her dresser. “Al…this is a really stressful time for Tina. As much as you are bothered by her father’s negative influence in her life, she doesn’t need to hear a thing about that…not now…probably not ever.”

Alice sighed. ‘I know. I’m sorry. It just frustrates me so much. Just think, we get to see the penile implant tonight. Maybe we should put a long, wet one on in front of him.”

Dana arched a brow, then laughed. It would have been quite a sight, but totally inappropriate.


	132. Chapter 132

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm....thinking some of you ladies are accessing my hard drive. Okay...that sounded kind of sexual. On that note, here is your next chappy!

CHAPTER 132

Tina stood in front of the full length mirror which had remained attached to the back door of her bedroom. The black dress resembled her thoughts. She knew that makeup would be fruitless because it wouldn’t be staying on, not on this emotional afternoon. As she stared at her reflection, she recalled the many times she stood before that very mirror. The time she stood, taking in the details of her white First Communion dress as her mother ironed her father’s dress shirt in the other room. She couldn’t forget the father and daughter dance when she was just eleven and stood in front of the mirror pulling at her tights as her father stood behind her fixing his tie. Then there was her 16th birthday party. Her mother had bought her a pale green dress that Tina had fallen in love with at Macy’s during one of their shopping sprees. The last time she had really used it for a significant event was her High School graduation. She wondered when the last time was that her dad had stood in front of it. It wasn’t unusual for him to knock on her door and ask to use it. Did he every do so over the last year that she had not been home?

Eric knocked on the bedroom door, startling Tina. “Hey, are you almost ready?”

Tina nodded slowly, her heart broken over the loss of her father. 

Eric stepped into the room and slipped his arms around her. “Tina, it will be okay.”

“I just can’t believe it.” Tina’s words were muffled into his shoulder. “I thought I would see him after the surgery…once he was in recovery and woke up.”

“I know. We all thought that. In some ways though, it was probably the best way for him to go. You know your dad, if he wasn’t going to have a really good quality of life…he wouldn’t want to be here. Take his golf away, his cigars….man he would have been a bear.”

Tina kept her head resting against Eric’s shoulder. “I just feel like…I was cheated. I thought I would always have time to make things right by him.”

”What do you mean?”

Tina didn’t want to get into her sexuality or the past, for that was something she was working hard to keep from Eric. “I just…I just never felt like I made him proud.”

“You have babe. I’m sure you have. Did you see the look on his face the last time we really got to have a good talk with him? He was thrilled to think that you and I would make a future together.”

Tina nodded weakly. 

“At least before he died, he knew that we would. I mean, I would have loved for your father to be there the day we married, but…hey I guess in some ways he will be, because it was one of the last things he knew, that I would take care of you.”

“He looked so happy in that moment. He didn’t stay awake very long afterwards, and wasn’t very talkative in the morning before surgery. I kissed him on the forehead before they wheeled him in…but…we never really talked, except for the night before. It had been a long time since I made my father smile.”

Eric rubbed Tina’s back as she pulled away from his shoulder. “I don’t know Tina, I remember him laughing a lot over the summer when we visited him and your mom. I think you brought a lot of laughter and happiness into his life.”

“I guess I just never really felt it. I felt I disappointed him.”

“I don’t believe you did.”

Once more Tina’s thoughts remained on that night in the hospital when her father beamed with pride at the thought of Eric becoming his son-in-law. “He sure was happy, “ she said aloud.

“What?”

”That night…when he thought of you being his son-in-law.”

Eric smiled. “He sure did.”

“I suppose I should check on Mark…make sure he’s all ready.”

”I did already.”

”You did?”

“Yeah, I figured your mom didn’t need to be concerned with all that, so I kept on top of him.”

“He hasn’t really shown much emotion Eric. I’m kind of worried about him.”

”He’ll be okay Tina. We have some time to spare before school starts up soon. We’ll hang here for a few days and make sure they are okay.”

Tina caressed Eric’s face. “Thank you. You have been such a rock for me through all this. I’m not sure I would have been able to get through this without you.”

Eric smiled as he took hold of Tina’s hand. He kissed the back of it and dropped it by his side, holding it tight. “You would have.”

”I don’t know.” A tear rolled down Tina’s cheek. “I have to ask you to do something for me.”

“Okay…what is it?”

“I expect that my friends will be showing up; Shane…probably Alice and Dana. I know you don’t like the choices they made in their life, but please … please try to treat them with respect. Will you do that for me?”

Eric’s jaw tightened. “I don’t think that this would be a time for me to share my views. I’ll be sure to behave.”

It was easier than Tina had expected it to be, but she wasn’t going to question it. Instead, she pulled at Eric’s hand and led him out of her bedroom.

#

“Bloody hell!” 

“What is it mother?” Helena rushed from the kitchen to the living room. Her mother was staring at the newspaper. “Did you lose more money in stocks?”

Peggy stared at the page before her.

“Mother?” Helena stared at her mother. “What is it?”

“Nothing….nothing dear.”

Helena was confused. “It didn’t sound like nothing.”

“Helena, forget about my tea.” Peggy placed the paper down on the sofa and started towards her room. “Something’s come up. I have some place I have to go to.”

Helena shook her head as she watched her mother disappear down the hall. She grabbed the paper from the sofa and looked at the page which was left open. “Obituaries?”


	133. Chapter 133

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies, Ladies, Ladies... where is your heart I ask ya? LOL!!!! No Other Love should be called No Love right about now eh? I find the comments as much fun as writing!

CHAPTER 133

Helena didn’t bother reading the page at all. The obituary section always made her shudder, therefore she was happy to discard the paper back onto the sofa. “Mother, I’m going to leave for my place now,” she called out.

“Fine, I’ll speak with you later love.”

“What time will you be home later?”

“I’m not sure. If it’s after 11 o’clock then I won’t bother to call you.”

“Alright.” Helena departed her mother’s residence and headed towards her place.

#

Eric offered Catherine his arm as they ascended the few stairs leading into the funeral home. The funeral director greeted her, then led them to the room where Jerry’s urn sat on a pedestal, framed by a few pictures of him. The hall was adorned with three poster boards that Mark and Tina had put together; a collage of pictures depicting their lives on display for all to see.

Catherine kneeled in front of the urn and began dabbing at the corner of her eyes, the tissues absorbing the tears at their start. 

Mark looked at the pictures on the poster boards, taking a second look at the job that he and Tina had done. From pictures of his parents wedding day, to the 4th of July cookout only a month earlier and everything in between, he felt pleased that they had captured the essence of their family life.

Tina and Eric looked at the various cards attached to each of the floral arrangements, making comments on the beauty of each piece, and how pleased they were with how many people had sent this form of condolence.

“That was his golf buddy, Mr. Cahill. They used to bicker back and forth like you wouldn’t believe about who was going to have a better game that weekend.”

Eric smiled. “I bet your dad kicked his ass a few times.”

Tina sighed. “He sure did.”

“You children did a beautiful job on the collages,” Catherine noted. “He would be so proud to see what you did for him.”

“Thanks Mom,” Mark replied sheepishly. 

“Mom, do you think there will be a lot of people coming here?” Tina inquired.

Catherine was lost in thought as she scanned the photo collage.

“Mom?”

“Pardon?”

“I was just asking if you thought that a lot of people might come?”

“I don’t know honey. Your father knew a lot of people, especially from the country club.”

“What are we going to do with his golf clubs?” Mark asked without first thinking how shallow that sounded.

“We can discuss that later.” Catherine wasn’t going to allow discussions to end up in the ‘who gets what’ place. Mark was still young, and his bold question was chalked up to a lack of maturity.

Before they realized it, people had started to come into the funeral home to pay their respects.

#

“I saw Jan the other day,” Shane said as she pulled into the funeral home parking lot.

“Yeah? How is she?” 

”She was still pretty pissed off with things.”

”I understand. I did my best to stay out of her way when she came to take her stuff from the apartment.”

“I’m sorry about sharing too much. I honestly thought it was going to help things.”

”I know you did Shane. It’s okay.”

”Did you hear from Rosalie?”

”I haven’t. She said she would call if there was an issue with the flight.” Bette looked down at her watch. “She must be in the air now, on her way back home.”

”She was one hot chick Bette.”

Bette smiled. “Yeah…she’s a great friend Shaney…a smart girl for her age.”

“….just makes me drool,” Shane added.

“You are always a dog aren’t you?”

”Uh huh.” Shane turned the car off. “Let’s get this over with. I hate these things.”

”I know, I do too.”

#

“Beep the horn,” Alice demanded as Dana pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home.

”No, I will not!”

”Well, get their attention before they go in so we can all go in together.”

Dana ignored Alice, prompting her to roll down her window. “Hey, Shane! Bette!” She yelled out.

Bette and Shane turned around. “What the hell?” Shane uttered.

“Who do you think?” Bette replied.

They waited for Dana to park the car and the girls to join them.

“Why the hell does it take something like this for us to get together huh?” Alice asked as she hugged Shane. “And you…where on earth have you been hiding huh?” Alice turned and gave Bette a big hug.

“I know, I’ve been really bad at keeping in touch,” Bette admitted. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Are you going to stay down here for a few days?” Dana asked.

Bette nodded. “Yeah, I don’t really need to rush back home.”

“Good, maybe we can hang out and do something.”

“Everyone but Tina. Dickhead won’t let her hang with us.”

“Let her?” Bette questioned. “What does he have some rules against her hanging with everyone?”

“He opposes any friendship with gay people. He’s an ass.”

“Alice, you promised to behave,” Dana reminded.

“I am. It’s just us. I can say what I want outside.”

As the girls reached the top of the stairs their attention was taken back to the parking lot. “Fuck me!” Shane stammered. 

“What the hell is that?” Alice asked.

“I don’t know, but it sure isn’t anything I could ever afford.”

“You don’t know what it is? You’re kidding me right?” Shane nearly had an orgasm. “That…that right there, that is an Aston Martin DB One. Please tell me you have heard of it.”

“I think we have now,” Bette quipped.

“I’ve only seen them in magazines. The black…the shine…damn that is one hell of a chick magnet.”

As the refined woman exited the vehicle, her appearance was equally stunning. She was dressed to kill, and the accessories which emphasized her taste in jewelry only added to the dramatic aura. She kept her sunglasses on as she began walking across the lot.

“Come on,” Dana urged. “Let’s go…we look like idiots gawking at her.”

Shane remained stupefied by the highly expensive automobile. “Do you think she would let me touch it?”

“First time you probably ever had to ask a woman if you could touch her –“

“Alice…behave,” Dana reminded.

“No fun I tell ya, no fun.”

“Come on you guys, we shouldn’t be going in laughing and having a good time of this. We are here for Tina…remember that.” 

Following Bette’s instruction, everyone entered the funeral home.


	134. Chapter 134

CHAPTER 134

“Tina, this is Kevin, he went to the same high school as your father and I.”

“Hi Tina,” Kevin extended his hand. “Your father and I used to get in so much trouble back then.”

”Really?”

”For sure. I remember one time we glued the teachers desk drawers shut with super glue.”

“Are you serious? My dad did that?”

Kevin chuckled at the memory. “We never got caught though. We were pretty crafty.”

In between the tears shed, Tina found some solace in the memories of her father that some people chose to share. It enabled her to get to know more of this person who was in her life all of her life, but who she sometimes felt she really didn’t know a lot about.

“Thank you for coming,” Tina said as Kevin moved further down the line of family, offering his condolences as he went. She looked towards the door and noticed the gang coming towards the room. “Excuse me for a moment,” she said as she walked towards them.

“There’s Tina.” Dana spotted the blonde who worked her way through a group of people standing in line.

“Hey, thank you for coming.” Tina hugged Alice and then Dana.

“Of course we would come to pay our respects. How are you doing?”

”You doing okay Tee?” Alice asked.

“Hanging in there. I still can’t believe it.”

Shane was the next one to hug Tina, which offered Tina a view of Bette who was standing behind Shane. Their eyes locked for a moment before she released the hug.

“You look great Tina.” Shane smiled at her friend. “I’ve missed seeing you.”

”I know. Maybe there may be some time after the funeral, if you guys are still going to be around.”

”Yeah, I think most of us are hanging down this way through the weekend.”

The girls each watched as Tina approached Bette. “You look nice with your hair up like that. It makes you look so different.”

“That was what I was shooting for.” Bette forced a smile. She did what she could to make herself appear different from the photo. “I even put clothes on, hoping that would help.”

Tina dropped her head and smiled. The small bit of humor made her relax.

“How are you doing?” Bette asked.

“I’m … trying to be as strong as I can.” Tina’s vulnerability showed. She appeared quite fragile.

Behind Tina, Shane motioned for Bette to embrace her friend.

Bette took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Tina. “It’s okay to let yourself go…not be so strong.”

Tina closed her eyes in response to how amazingly safe she felt in Bette’s arms. She felt comforted in Eric’s arms earlier at the house, but with Bette it was so much different. There was a warmth, a feeling of security and safety that couldn’t compare. Perhaps it was because Bette knew so much about her, more than any other person. She knew Tina’s past in nearly every intricate detail. The bond of honesty that they shared only deepened a connection that no other person ever had with either of them or they with another.

#

Just as Bette and Tina released their embrace, Eric came out of the men’s room. 

“Penis approaching from the left,” Alice said quietly.

Bette looked towards the man who just stopped to shake someone’s hand near the restroom. “I think I’ll take a look at the collage.”

Tina mouthed the words ‘thank you’ as Bette stepped away from the group. She knew that Bette didn’t want to make things more difficult for her at this time, and appreciated the effort she made to not stand out so much. As Bette was a fair distance from the group admiring baby pictures of Tina, she remained within an earshot of the gang. 

“Ladies…” Eric said with little feeling.

“Hey,” Shane responded.

“I’m going to go in and give your mom my respects,” Alice said, avoiding any discussion with Eric.

“We should probably go back to her Tee.” Eric took hold of Tina’s hand and both started back towards the viewing room.

Bette cringed at hearing Eric refer to Tina as ‘Tee.’ She had been the first person to ever call her that, a nickname which some of the girls referred to every once in a while. For Bette, it wasn’t just a nickname, it was a pet name. Rather than join the girls in the other room, Bette took a seat next to one of the collages. With a little effort, she could see Tina when no one was giving her their condolences.

While the girls offered their condolences to Tina’s mother and brother, Peggy was just making her way into the funeral home.

#

“How are you doing Mom?” Tina asked at the first break from visitor’s.

“Okay. You?”

“I’m okay. I’m pretty tired.”

“I know. It’s been a pretty emotional week so far.”

“I’m going to get you girls a cup of spring water.” Eric left the two alone as he embarked for the other end of the funeral home. 

Tina’s eyes followed Eric, watching as Bette once again busied herself to avoid making eye contact.

Peggy stopped by the first collage she came to and began studying the pictures before her. The feeling of ‘family’ could be seen throughout. Catherine had aged gracefully over the years, which didn’t surprise Peggy any.

“Oh, pardon me,” Eric said as he nearly spilled the two cups of water onto Bette. “Not good to have a shoelace untied.”

Bette turned abruptly, their eyes locking.

Eric cocked his head as he studied Bette’s features. “Hi….do I know you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Eric smiled. “You look a little familiar.”

“I do? Oh…well I don’t know why. You don’t look familiar.”

“Do you go to Berkeley?”

“Nope.”

Eric continued studying the brunette. “Hmm…I hate that.”

“Hate what?”

“When you feel like you know someone but can’t place them.”

“Oh, yeah…that.”

Tina felt her face flush at the sight of Bette and Eric conversing. Just as she was ready to leave her mother’s side to get Eric’s attention, he started walking back towards her.

“Here you go ladies.”

“Thank you Eric.”

“Thanks honey.” Tina scanned Eric’s expression, relieved that it didn’t reveal anything which would indicate he had recognized Bette.

“You’re both welcome.” After handing each a plastic cup of water, he resumed standing by Tina.

“That hit the spot,” Catherine said brought the empty cup from her lips.

“I can take that Mom,” Tina offered. 

Catherine held the cup tight.

“Mom? What…what is it?” The change in her mother’s demeanor alarmed Tina. “Mom?”

Catherine’s eyes were focused on the entranceway to the viewing room. It had been years since her eyes had the opportunity to set on this incredibly exquisite woman, but she couldn’t mistake her anywhere.

Tina looked in the direction her mother’s eyes were. “What? What’s going on?”

Catherine had remained speechless, until the woman made her way towards her.

“Catherine, darling it’s been a while.” Peggy placed a hand on each of Catherine’s shoulders and kissed her cheek.

“Mags…”


	135. Chapter 135

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A two-for on this Sunday evening. I can tell you ladies are so broken up over Mr. Kennard's passing... LOL!!!

CHAPTER 135

Tina’s eyes widened as the women hugged one another. Tina knew most all of her mother’s friends, but this one…she never met, and certainly she never saw her mother hug her friends with such warmth. The tenderness in the embrace triggered Tina’s memory. This was Mags…THE Mags...the woman that her mother had fallen in love with before she surrendered to the pressure of society, family, and tradition. 

“Where on earth did you acquire that accent?” 

“London. I moved there ages ago and I just picked it up. Crazy isn’t it?”

“You look amazing,” Catherine commented, trying hard to contain the smile; it was her husbands funeral after all.

“Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself love.”

Catherine looked away, blushing. “Oh, well…aging isn’t so gentle sometimes.”

“It’s done wonders Cookie, don’t you underestimate that in the least.”

Cookie? Tina thought to herself. Where on earth did that name come from?

For a brief moment, Catherine was lost in the wonder of this unexpected reunion. This woman was a part of her past, but definitely not gone from her mind. She thought of her at least a few times a week, particularly as more years passed. 

“So you have been living in London?”

“Yes, we were.”

“I’m sure you didn’t fly out her for this. Are you here on business?”

“We just moved back here. My husband passed away, and eventually I made my way back here to the states. My daughter joined me as well.”

Catherine was surprised to learn that Peggy had married. She had only dated women while in college. “You have a daughter?”

“I sure do.”

Tina had become quite impatient. “Mom, aren’t you going to introduce us?”

Catherine had a hard time taking her eyes off of Peggy. “Oh dear, how could I be so rude? Tina…this… this is Mags.” Catherine remembered the personal story she had shared with Tina the previous summer, but wasn’t sure if her daughter remembered. “Mags…my daughter Tina, and that’s my son Mark sitting over there with his cousins.”

“Tina, it’s a pleasure.” Peggy extended her hand to Tina. “You are beautiful like your mother.”

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.”

Catherine was completely enthralled with Peggy. Those who were offering their condolences were dismissed with a quick thank you so she could return her attention to her former love of her life.

“Come, come with me to the sitting room over there,” Catherine pointed to a room close to where Bette was standing.

As Peggy followed Catherine, Tina’s smile grew.

“Who the heck is that lady?” Eric questioned.

“You heard her, an old college friend.”

Eric turned from Tina, back to the two women who were disappearing into another room. “She is dressed to kill.”

“Uh huh.”

#

“I can’t believe you are here. I just…it’s so overwhelming.”

“I don’t mean to overwhelm you darling,” Peggy quickly replied. She began searching her purse for a pen. “I’m going to give you my phone number and address where I am living now.

Catherine stared at Peggy as she moved things around in her purse. “It’s so ironic.”

“What?”

“You and I had found ourselves involved back when I was facing a big loss in my life…the loss of my first child—“

“Celeste.” Peggy didn’t take long to recall the name. “You were so young.”

“I know…I know I was.” Catherine knew in her heart, that if it weren’t for her getting pregnant in college with Jerry’s child, that she may have given more thought to a life with Catherine. Ironically enough, after getting hitched, she lost the baby in her 7th month. At that point, it was far too late to reverse the decisions she had made.

“However, I do know what you mean. You are now facing another big loss and … here I am.”

“I’m happy you are.” Catherine couldn’t help but study Peggy’s face. Even with a few wrinkles at each corner of her eye, Peggy was an exceedingly attractive woman.

“No angel of death?”

“No, not at all. When you think about it, you and I were dorming together for a while before I met Jerry and ended up pregnant. You were just … really there for me at that hardest time of my life when I lost Celeste.”

Peggy could see the sentiment in Catherine’s face. “Well my dear, that was in the past and in the past it shall remain.”

Catherine dabbed the tip of the tissue near the corner of each eye. “You’re right. I hope that we might be able to have a cup of tea or coffee one day.”

“I intend to,” Peggy replied as she handed Catherine her information. “Call me…any time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Any time,” Peggy said firmly. “You take care of yourself darling.” Peggy embraced Catherine, this time giving her a kiss on the cheek as she did. “I look forward to seeing you soon.”

“Definitely.”

Peggy pulled away and turned for the door. “Talk soon love.”

Catherine stared at the solid door which closed behind the lovely woman. She was still in shock, completely surprised by this unique and unexpected visit. She turned back towards the viewing room, making an effort to refrain from smiling outwardly like her heart was doing at that moment.


	136. Chapter 136

CHAPTER 136

“Who was that woman?” Eric inquired.

“Obviously an old friend of Mom’s,” Tina replied as her mother returned to her side.

Catherine looked at her daughter. Neither spoke. They didn’t need to. Catherine remembered sharing that part of her past with Tina, and Tina…she recalled that conversation in detail. Her mind started to wonder just what this meant, and if Maggie’s return made things more difficult or easier on her mom. One of the hardest things she had to do was explain to her mother what Eric’s views were of homosexuals, and that she not approach Bette during the services. With Maggie’s re-entry into her mom’s life, just what would her mother think of this recently revealed bias?

When things quieted down, Tina excused herself so she could talk with her friends who were assembled in one of the other sitting rooms.

“Hey.” Tina took a seat near Bette. “You won’t believe this.”

“Believe what?” Alice asked.

Tina looked back towards the viewing room, making sure no one was paying any attention to her. “That really flashy woman that came in a little while ago…”

“Uh huh?”

“The one who looked like she was a big wig right?” Shane asked.

“Yeah, that one.”

“Have you seen the car that broad drives?” Shane inquired.

“Shhh…I want to hear the story,” Alice admonished.

Shane stopped talking so Tina could continue.

“Anyway…that was Mags.”

“Mags who?” Dana asked.

“Who is Mags?” Alice was confused.

Shane shook her head. “Are we suppose to know a Mags?”

The name didn’t mean anything to the girls, because Tina never shared her mothers story with them. 

Bette on the other hand smiled. “No kidding,” she said softly, her eyes engaged with Tina’s. “That was her.”

“Hold up, why does Porter know who she is?” Alice’s jealousy was showing. “Spill TK, what’s with this Mags person?”

Tina leaned in and lowered her voice to a whisper. “When my mom was in college she shared a dorm with that woman.”

The girls listened intently, including Bette even though she was already privy to the details.

“She and my mom…” Tina thrust her hips back and forward, offering a visual ending.

“No fucking way! Your mother!?” Alice put her hand to her mouth.

Shane cracked up. “Way to go Mrs. K!”

“Oh wow,” Dana smirked.

“Oh yeah. My mom only told me about them when….” Tina stopped mid sentence. 

“When what?” Alice inquired.

“When….I was really confused about what I wanted…who I was. She wanted to let me know that she was where I was once.”

Bette’s lips dropped, forming a small frown. She knew the choice that Tina’s mother made, and she could see the apple wasn’t falling far from the tree. For once Alice would follow with what Bette was thinking.

“Yeah, and look where she ended up in the end,” Alice quipped.

“Did she meet Mags before your father?” Dana asked. 

“Just about the same time. Of course, back in those days it was even harder than it is today to be true to yourself.”

“I imagine so.”

“Have they kept in touch?”

“Nope. I’ll know more details when my mom and I can talk again.”

Bette played with a reluctant curl, trying to avoid the conversation for it was too hard. Was this a preview of their life? Would Tina marry and find herself widowed years later and only then begin to really live?

“It’s kind of sad…really,” Alice said softly. “I mean, when you think about it. Your mom lived a lie all her life. Life’s too short to do that…don’t you think?”

Tina looked from Alice to Bette. The words stung, for they served as a reminder to the choice she was making. Even in death she found her thoughts returning to trying to please her father. His dying with one of the last things on his mind; hoping to see his daughter marry Eric, was something pretty heavy and something her friends were unaware of.

#

Two days later, Eric spent the day working a construction job with his uncle while Tina went for a hike with Shane, Dana and Bette. Alice was feeling under the weather and decided to stay home instead of joining them.

“How is your mom doing?” Bette asked as she squatted to tighten her laces on her hiking boots.

“She’s hanging in there. We are going to help her clean the closets of his things while we are still down here.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Yeah. Well it will make me feel useful.”

Shane and Dana decided that they would hike off on a different trail, allowing Bette and Tina some time to spend together exclusively. Though things appeared like they would never re-develop into a romantic relationship, they still felt that the two friends should have some time to share alone.

“We’ll meet you back here say about…3pm?” 

Bette looked down at her watch. “Sure…sounds good.”

“Don’t get lost,” Shane joked.

“Ain’t gonna happen, Alice isn’t with us,” Bette joked which caused everyone to laugh.

“Be nice,” Tina laughed. 

“Oh come on Tee…you know it’s true.”

“I know, but still…we shouldn’t talk about our friend like that.”

“You have a good charge on your cell phones?” Shane asked.

Bette pulled her cell phone from her pocket. “Yep, 5 bars.”

“Um….let’s see…” Tina scanned the cell phone in her hand. “This is Eric’s. Mine crapped out on me this morning so he said I could use his today.”

Bette leaned in to inspect the screen. “Uhhhh….right there. Looks like you have a full charge.”

“Cool. Guess I’m all set too.”

Dana bit into the apple she had brought with her. “Good. We’ll see you back here a little later.”

“Bye. Be careful,” Tina warned.

“You too,” Dana said before turning towards Shane.

As the pair headed in the opposite direction of Dana and Shane, Bette bent down and picked up a fairly thick branch that would serve as a walking stick. “Here…in case you need this.”

“Me? I don’t need one of those.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. I can do just fine without it.”

“Suit yourself.” Bette held onto the stick and used it for her own purposes. 

Tina walked behind Bette, watching as the brunette’s ass swayed in her jeans with each step she took. She took a deep breath in, trying to push her sultry thoughts out of her mind. 

“So,” Bette started. “Has anything come of Mags and your mom?’

“Not that I know of. Mom and I spoke for a little while after the funeral, in the evening. She really hasn’t said a lot about it.”

“Do you think they’ll get back together?”

“Don’t know. Mags is widowed too…has a daughter.”

“Oh....that might make things a little difficult.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well….does her daughter know she likes women? I mean, if Mags never revealed her past then her daughter may not even know.”

“I never thought of that.”

Bette and Tina’s conversation was interrupted by Tina’s cell phone rang. 

“You gonna answer it?” Bette asked.

“No…it’s Eric’s phone. No one knows I have it but him, so they must want him. I’ll let it go to voicemail.”

Bette laughed. “Did you give it any thought that it may be him calling for you?”

Bette’s suggestion was enough to make Tina curious. She flipped the phone open but missed the call; instead it went to his voicemail.

“Damn. I missed it.”

“Well…maybe they will call back.”

A few seconds later, the message tone sounded. 

“Guess not…they left a message,” Tina said aloud before pressing the voicemail button to listen. “I hope everything is okay with Mom,” she said before the message began.

As the message played back in her ear, Tina’s eyes widened. She felt her mouth go dry and the blood rush from her face.

“Tee, is it your mom?”

Tina nodded her head rejecting the suggestion.

“Then what is it?”

“It…it’s Accent Jewelers.”

“Huh?”

“They left Eric a message saying that the engagement ring he ordered was ready to be picked up.”


	137. Chapter 137

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody put some bail money aside. I think Donna is gonna be putting a price on Eric's head. LOL!!!!

CHAPTER 137

Bette swallowed hard. The idea of Tina marrying this guy broke her heart further, something that surprised her for she didn’t think there was any more left to break. Her eyes met Tina’s. The eyes which looked back into her own were tormented.

“What are you going to do?” Bette asked awkwardly.

“I don’t know.”

Bette struggled for something to say. There wasn’t anything more she could tell Tina today than she had in the past. Follow your heart…live your life honestly…have faith that love can be enough. Those were only a few words of advice that Bette had given over the past year or so. “I wish I knew what I could say to help you...”

Tina walked past Bette, moving forward on the trail at a faster pace than she had. Bette followed, remaining silent for a few minutes until Tina started to run. Bette threw the stick down and started after her. “Hey…wait up…what are you doing?’

With tears rolling down her face, Tina ran faster and faster, dodging a few branches here and there which lay across the trail. She couldn’t run from her life, but she was sure going to try.

“Tina!” Bette shouted, still following the blonde as she headed off the worn path into the wooded area.

Tina’s breaths were rapid as she darted through the thick brush. With branches whipping at her body, one had ripped a cut across her face; but she continued running.

Bette picked up speed as she did her best to avoid the unforgiving branches which were snapping back at her. Just as they made their way out of the thick woods to an opening, Bette grabbed Tina around the waist, causing both to roll on the ground.

Both girls were breathing hard, making it difficult to form a complete sentence. The waterfall which was cascading down the jagged ledge of rock silenced the intensity of their breaths. Only a few feet more and Tina would have found herself in the water itself.

“Wh..what….were…you….doing?” Bette was breathless.

“Why…didn’t….you just….let….me go?” Tina asked as she looked up at Bette who was topping her.

Bette braced her arms on the ground as she stared down at Tina. “I…wasn’t…going…to let that…happen.” Bette grabbed the handkerchief she was going to use to tie around her hair from her back pocket and gently dabbed at the trace of blood that was on Tina’s cheek.

“Why? You should…have let me go.”

Bette paused, leaving the handkerchief resting on Tina’s face. “I couldn’t.”

“I’ve treated you like shit. You have had every right to.” Tina retorted.

Bette struggled to hold back her tears. “I just…can’t.”

“It would make it easier…if you would just hate me.”

Bette shook her head in a descending motion. “I can’t…because…I…I still love you.”

Tina’s eyes scanned Bette’s face before she slid both her hands to each side and quickly pulled the brunette downward so their lips were meeting. The sweat which had formed on each of their faces merged with their lips. With eyes closed, and lips parted, their tongues began a rhythm which was unique to only them. The symphony created as lips slipped to and from, and tongues played a cat and mouse game could only be heard by them.

“Mmmm,” Tina moaned into Bette’s mouth. 

The familiarity between the two women could not be denied while they were in the moment. Later, might be something all together different, but for now…now their senses, desires, and needs started to come alive.

Bette pushed her fingers through Tina’s hair as she deepened the kiss. She felt her own center tighten with each moan Tina expressed in response to what her tongue was doing to her. She dragged her tongue along the roof of Tina’s mouth, then sucked the blonde’s bottom lip into her mouth before pulling her face back.

“Wh…what are you doing?” Tina asked, staring at the brown eyes which were looking down at her.

Bette pushed a strand of hair from Tina’s face. “I needed a moment to make sure this was real.” Bette’s eyes looked down at Tina’s chest as she unbuttoned Tina’s jeans. She slowly took hold of the zipper, feeling Tina’s hand wrap around hers as she helped guide it downward.

“Make love to me,” Tina pleaded. “Please…Bette…I want to remember this day forever.”

Reason and logic was abandoned as Bette pulled at the bottom of Tina’s jersey, releasing it from her jeans.

#

“You think they are talking at least?” Dana asked as she sat down on the rock near Shane.

“I hope so. I’d really like to see them get back to a really good friendship, ya know?”

“I’m not sure how successful that will be if Eric isn’t suppose to know about her.”

“Well, he saw her in the funeral home and couldn’t place her so that’s a good sign right?’

“Yeah, true.”

“I kind of wonder if her mom’s old flame coming back into her mom’s life might influence her to reconsider being with him?”

“Maybe.” Dana was quiet. She understood Tina a little better now than before their first college semester. Dana didn’t mind being in a relationship with Alice, but when it came to their first year in school, she felt some awkwardness. 

“What about you and Al? You think you guys might ever get back together?”

“I don’t know. I would be more open to it now that I will be in my second year in school. I know…kind of dumb. I mean college is filled with diversity and a ton of LGBT groups and stuff. I suppose I just was a lot more shy than I thought I would be.”

“Do you think Tina should worry about what people think?” Shane inquired, a bit off track.

“No, I don’t.”

“Then neither should you.”

#

Tina held Bette’s back and turned her over so she was now topping her. Her long hair fell loosely to each side of Bette’s face as she leaned down to kiss her. “Are your nipples as hard as mine?” she asked.

“Uh…huh,” Bette managed to answer before Tina’s tongue plunged back inside her mouth, causing goose bumps to form on her skin.

The blonde slid her hand under Bette’s shirt, snaking her hand under the bra that confined the breast which she was seeking. She moaned into Bette’s mouth when her fingers grazed the hard nipple, a testament of her ability to still arouse the brunette.

Tina reached down and unbuttoned Bette’s jeans, quickly pulling at the zipper so they would spread open, allowing her the ability to access an area she had known so well in the past.

The brunette could feel her own wetness as it rubbed against the thong she was wearing. She was completely aroused and lost in the moment. “I want you…so much Tee,” Bette confessed as she watched the blonde grab the bottom of her own shirt and pull it off, revealing two hard nipples.  
“No bra?”

Tina smirked. “No…”

“Did you have this planned?”

“Nope,” she shook her head, offering a sly grin.

“You did,” Bette challenged.

Tina took hold of Bette’s hand and brought it to the edge of her panties, encouraging Bette to continue pushing her hand inside of them. Almost instantaneously, both women struggled for a breath at the touch. For Bette, the feeling of returning to a place which was sacred between them, and to find just how aroused Tina was, was simply overwhelming. For Tina, to have Bette’s fingers touch the most intimate part of her body was equally overpowering. 

Tina slipped her hand inside of Bette’s panties, prompting yet a second intake of air by each of them. “Ohh…you are so wet,” Tina revealed aloud.

“It’s all you,” Bette declared, relinquishing herself to Tina completely.


	138. Chapter 138

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...you can thank a certain someone who messages me privately and may one day comment here for the next THREE chapters....yes, she is very convincing. ;)

CHAPTER 138

“Fu…fuck…I…I’m gonn…gonna cum again,” Tina screamed in anticipation.

Bette’s tongue maintained the circles it was making on Tina’s growing clit. She knew just when to apply a hint of pressure in order to bring Tina to orgasm. When her fingers slowed as a result of how tight Tina had become, she knew the blonde was ready. She gently curled the two fingers and began to massage Tina’s G-spot just as she rapidly swept her tongue from side to side, managing to tease the hood of her clit just enough to roll her into a mind blowing orgasm.

The wooded trees, running stream, and any critters who happened to be within an earshot would be the only witnesses to the arrangement of music which played during this afternoon concert.

“Come…come here,” Tina said breathlessly.

Bette crawled up the blonde’s body. Tina welcomed Bette’s lips upon her own, tasting the residual essence of herself. “That…that was amazing. I haven’t had such a strong orgasm in so long.”

Bette’s fingers traveled up and down Tina’s bare arm as the blonde snuggled in close to her. “You haven’t had a good orgasm in a while?”

“Nuh uh,” Tina said into the arm that held her.

Bette kissed the top of Tina’s head. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s not your fault,” Tina said quietly. She felt safe with Bette. Bette knew every single thing about her; things which Eric would never know. It wasn’t just about the sex, but about all those little things that Bette had taken the time to want to know. She paid attention…and always…always she showed she cared. “I think I need to go back to therapy.”

“Yeah?”

Tina nodded into Bette’s arm.

“How might it help you now that it didn’t before?”

“I don’t know…I just feel like there is so much in my head…so much confusion. I am ready to devote my life to this guy…even when…” Tina hesitated.

“Even when…” Bette encouraged.

“….when I know…that it doesn’t feel like this…and…that it probably never will.”

#

Shane looked down at her watch. “I wonder where they are? We did say three right?”

“Yep, sure did.”

“Hmm…hope they are okay.” Shane folded her arms and leaned against the wooden fence near the car.

“Should we call Bette’s cell?”

Shane looked up to see Bette and Tina walking towards them. They were about fifty yards away. “Hey you two, you had us worried.”

Bette looked at her watch. “It’s only three-fifteen!”

“Yeah but you are Ms. Punctual, I figured on you both being here before Dane and I came off the path.”

As Tina got closer, the girls noticed her scratch. “Ouch, what happened?” Dana inquired.

Tina looked at Bette before answering. “I had a nasty branch hit me in the face when I went to tinkle in the woods.”

“Ah…okay.”

Shane studied their faces for a few minutes before she formed a smile. “What did you guys do?”

“Huh?” Bette inquired before taking a sip of spring water.

“I know that look…the both of you.”

Tina looked down as Bette twisted the cap on the bottle. “You don’t know a thing,” Bette said as she walked past Dana and Shane towards the car.

“Oh yes I do!” Shane chuckled. “You both did it! Hot damn it’s about time!”

“Not a word Shane,” Tina warned as she got into the car.

Dana’s eyes remained wide open. “To think that I thought I had the best workout in these woods!”

The girls all laughed before they departed for home.

#

Catherine wiped her hands on the dishtowel before opening the front door. “Mags, I…I didn’t –“

Peggy smiled as she handed Catherine a cup. “Hot chocolate with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon.”

Catherine smiled as she accepted the cup. 

“You still like those don’t you?”

“Yes…yes I do. Come in, please.”

Peggy stepped into the foyer, pleased that she had remembered Catherine’s favorite college drink. “I waited for your call,” Peggy said as she turned around.

“I know. I…I felt so awkward.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do,” Peggy said defiantly, causing Catherine to raise a brow.

“Well, I…can we sit?”

“Certainly.”

Catherine walked towards the living room with Peggy close behind. As they sat on the sofa, it was the first time they had a private moment to really stare into one another’s eyes. The years were good to them, for each had retained a sex appeal which didn’t take long for the other to feel the spark of.

“Mags, I couldn’t believe it was you at the services. I was so overwhelmed by your presence after all these years. At a time when I should have been the grieving widow, I couldn’t help but feel so warm and … so alive inside. It was so hard to not show you how happy I was, as it just wasn’t the place to show such emotion.”

Peggy reached for Catherine’s hand. “Cookie, I understand. I didn’t expect you to rip your clothes off in the funeral home and take advantage of me like you use to.”

Catherine felt her cheeks flush. “Oh goodness, I so didn’t do that…”

Peggy arched a brow. “Oh but you so did my dear.”

As Catherine thought back to college, she felt herself aroused by the memories. “Those were the days weren’t they?”

“They sure were.”

“Tell me…during your marriage…did you ever step out?”

Peggy shook her head indicating that she had not.

“Me either.”

“Did you ever want to?”

“So many…” Catherine said with a sigh. “More than I could ever admit to another soul.”


	139. Chapter 139

CHAPTER 139

“I wanted to as well, but…well I wasn’t willing to put my daughter through a divorce. It wasn’t her fault that I chose the path of least resistance.”

“I never thought you would,” Catherine admitted. “I mean, it was no surprise that I, the weak one would.”

Peggy shifted so she was facing Catherine. “Cookie, you weren’t weak. You faced so many things at that young age. It wasn’t easy finding yourself pregnant in college. I admire you for all that you did to try to make things right.”

“I had wondered for so long Mags…that if I hadn’t become pregnant, would I have been strong enough to have stayed with you…to make something?”

“We can’t live in the past dear.”

“I know, but throughout my entire marriage my past haunted me. I knew I never felt with Jerry what I had with you. It was hard living a life where I had to force myself to be content with what I settled for. Outside of the beauty of my children, I found myself always wondering how different my life would have been…how…how much more fulfilling and happy I believe I would have been. There were so many differences….between being with a man and a woman. The tenderness, passion, deep feeling it was never really something I could obtain with Jerry. It wasn’t his fault, I mean…I was trying to seek the things in him that came so easily with you. 

“Understandable.”

Catherine smiled as Peggy listened intently. Just that…just the listening, the desire to not just hear the words but to embrace them and show in those eyes which looked back, the interest in what was being said. That was one thing which was absent from her life with Jerry.

“How many times did we just hang in the dorm and cuddle, and be in the moment without it having to lead to sex? It never was like that with Jerry. He wasn’t much on the tenderness and incredible connection which could occur in the most simplest of touches. Instead, it was all about reaching the destination, the goal.”

“Cookie, you can’t make an orange out of a banana. He was male…and while there can be tender men in the world, they still are not a female. It will never be the same no matter how hard you try.”

“What about you? Did you feel fulfilled enough?”

Peggy looked away for a moment, uncomfortable with having to admit her feelings. “I did what I had to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted children Cookie. Lawrence came from a very wealthy family. Once I graduated college, I took a couple of years where I worked at an art museum. Lawrence’s family owned the museum and were heavily invested in other ones throughout Europe. Life became easy when I was with him. I went to the museum and worked when I wanted to, getting a full wage no matter how many hours I put in. Before I realized it, the money sucked me in. In a few years I realized it wasn’t enough, but I also knew I wanted kids. We only had one child as I had complications with my health a few years after her birth which required that I have a full hysterectomy.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m sorry that you are learning about such a horrible side of me.”

“No…no I’m not.”

“Greed. It was about greed. I suppose I looked for the ‘benefits’ of being in that marriage and the only things I could find was the money and of course my daughter. Pathetic isn’t it?”

Catherine shook her head. “No…it isn’t. You were young, and you made choices. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Catherine’s tenderness and softness appealed to Peggy. It was something which she found herself drawn to decades ago, and in the present moment. “I beg to differ…but…I’ll concede on this one.”

“Wow, I should feel honored,” Catherine joked.

“Have dinner with me,” Peggy asked. “Tonight…I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, tonight…unless you have other plans?”

“No, no I don’t have any other plans. Tina and Eric were going to help me take Jerry’s clothes from the closet…I guess…I guess we can do that another time.”

“Good.” Peggy rose from the sofa. “I look forward to seeing you. I’ll pick you up here at seven.”

“Okay,” Catherine said, nervously wiping her sweaty palms on her slacks. “How should I dress?”

“Well…I was thinking of Lombardi’s Italian Villa.”

“Lombardi’s! Mags, do you realize how expensive that place is?”

Mags smiled. “Cookie…I married for money…remember?”

Catherine watched as Peggy made her way down the walkway to her luxurious black car. Before getting into the vehicle, she blew a kiss to Catherine and then departed.

#

Tina followed Bette into her house. “Parents aren’t home?”

“No. Mom went to play cards with some women’s group she belongs to, and Dad decided to go deep sea fishing for the day. How about something to drink?”

“I’m okay.”

“You should probably clean that cut. Come with me,” Bette instructed as she climbed the stairs. “I’m sure we have something in our medicine cabinet.”

Tina put the cover to the toilet seat down and took a seat. Bette washed the cut with warm water and soap, then followed it with a cotton swab drenched in peroxide. “I’m sorry…I hope it doesn’t hurt.”

Tina looked up at Bette as she took care of her. “No…it’s fine.”

Bette carefully dabbed at the cut with a dry cotton ball. “It looks much better.”

“Good.” Tina placed her hand over Bette’s before the brunette could pull it away from her face. She pressed Bette’s hand along side of her face. “Your hands are so beautiful…un-callused and soft…so much tenderness in them.”

Bette stared down at Tina. “Like yours…”

“Can we just lay on your bed?”

“Is that what you want?”

Tina nodded. “I don’t want to go home yet.”

“You’ll have to go home eventually,” Bette reminded.

“I know…but for now…I want to be in your arms.”

Bette grabbed hold of Tina’s hand and led her to her bedroom. While she put her iPod on, she closed the shades to her room and lit a few candles. Her intentions were not for a prelude to sex, but instead a desire to provide a soothing environment for Tina to rest her mind and body. 

She scooted in close to the blonde once she slid onto the bed. Her arm draped loosely around Tina’s stomach as her other hand caressed her hair. 

In that moment Tina felt a safety she hadn’t found any other time in her life, except in the past which she had shared with Bette. This time however, with so much uncertainty and pressure in her life, it was even more welcoming than it was ever before. She expressed a deep, satisfying sigh as she wiggled her body backwards further into Bette.


	140. Chapter 140

CHAPTER 140

Eric looked at his watch. Tina wasn’t expected back to her mom’s for another hour and a half, allowing him a chance to speak with Catherine about his proposal. He pulled into the driveway, eager to share his intentions which he felt would make her mother happy, knowing that Jerry had wished for such an event on his death bed.

Inside, Catherine was going through her closet trying to find what she would wear to dinner. After a half hour of an unresolved decision, she was left with a pile of clothes on both the bed and floor of her room.

“Hey Mrs. K you here?” Eric called out from downstairs.

“I’m upstairs in my room Eric. You can come up.”

When Eric pushed the partially closed door open, he was stunned by the mess he had found. “Um…what are you doing? I thought we were going to clean the closets out together?”

Catherine looked down at her pile of clothes. “Oh no, these are my clothes. I am going out this evening and trying to choose a dress.”

“You’re going out?” Eric was surprised, for Catherine had been pretty quiet and reserved since the funeral.

“A friend came to the house today. She wanted to get me out of the house…you know…thought it would be good for me.”

Eric look at the array of dresses. “Must be a pretty fancy place you gals are heading to.”

Catherine remained quiet. “Where’s Tina?”

“I think she is still with her friends. We got done with the construction job earlier than we expected, which is good because…well…I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay…well I would offer you a place to sit but …”

“It’s no problem, what I have to say won’t take long.”

“What is it?”

“Mrs. K….I want to marry your daughter.”

Catherine arched her brows.

“I love her, and she loves me.”

Catherine clutched the dress which she had been holding in her hands. “You are both so young.”

“You and Mr. Kennard were young too when you had married.”

“It was a different time Eric…different circumstances.” Catherine didn’t feel it was up to her to decide for Tina. The only thing she could do was offer her blessing if it was an arrangement which Tina wanted. “If Tina accepts your proposal for marriage, then…well you have my support.”

Eric formed a wide smile. “Thanks Mrs. K. I appreciate that. I was thinking of taking her to dinner, but if you are going out anyway…perhaps I’ll just propose to her here. Do you think that’s tacky?”

Catherine smiled. “I think you know the answer to that.”

Eric looked down. “Hmm…I’ll give it some more thought. I guess it depends if the jeweler is done making the ring. They told me it would be done…on…oh wow, ya know, I think they said today. I should probably give them a call.” He turned back towards the bedroom door. “That one…that would look great on you.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Catherine looked down at the black dress that lay on top of the others on her bed.

#

Bette kept her nose buried in Tina’s hair. One arm Tina’s head was laying on, while the other one was wrapped safely around her. Her thoughts were going everywhere. What would she do if Tina chose to get married? She knew the strong beliefs Tina held when it came to marrying for life, and how she opposed divorce. No doubt, children would come along in the next few years which would only solidify the relationship with Eric. If it was what she wanted then…there wasn’t a thing Bette could do. On the other hand, she knew Tina better than she knew herself at times, and she wasn’t sure she could enter a relationship or marriage knowing that she could never compensate for the love she had shared with her.

Tina nuzzled her face into Bette’s arm as contentment continued filling her. She was able to sleep for a little bit, but had only recently begun to fight the waking state that had crept in. “Wh…what time is it?” her voice sleepy as she asked.

“It’s almost five.”

“Shit…I really should be going.”

“So soon?”

“I told Eric I would be home by 5:30 at the latest.” Tina turned so she was now facing Bette. “I’m sorry Bette. I would love nothing more but to stay here in your arms.”

Bette’s eyes shifted from Tina to the blanket.

“Truly,” Tina emphasized.

“Tina…I know that things are really hard right now… I do, I just…” Bette hesitated. There was so much she wanted to say to her, but she knew that it would only be viewed as the same old story, just a different day. Tina was in control of her own life, and Tina was the one who had to make the decision about what she wanted. The last thing Bette would want was to encourage her in a direction that she later regretted. 

Tina didn’t encourage Bette to continue. She had known those words, that expression, and she knew what Bette was going to say. She took hold of Bette’s chin and raised her head so Bette had no choice but to look into the blondes beautiful eyes. “I do love you…so much. But…”

Tina cringed as her heart broke in two….

“…a wish is a wish…and a promise is a promise.”

Bette dropped her head as Tina slid off her bed and put her shoes on. Within a few minutes, she too put her shoes on and drove Tina home.

#

When Tina arrived home, Eric was sitting at the kitchen table reading the sports page of the newspaper.

“Hey,” Tina said.

“Hey babe.” Eric put the paper down and looked at Tina. “What the hell happened to your face?”

“Didn’t see a branch.”

”Damn, that looks pretty nasty.”

“Yeah. It’s okay. How was work?”

”It was good. Nick can be a ball buster sometimes, but at least we were able to get a big piece of the job done.”

“That’s good.”

“You okay?” Eric questioned, noticing that Tina appeared a little down.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just got a little headache that’s all.”

“Oh…alright. Hey your mom is going out to dinner with a friend tonight.”

”Really? With who?”

“I don’t know, she didn’t say.”

Tina appeared perplexed. “That’s odd…Mom doesn’t typically go out at night with her friends. I wonder who it is?”

Eric shrugged as he diverted his attention back to the sports page.


	141. Chapter 141

Chapter 141

Eric arrived at the jewelers, excited at the thought that the ring might be ready. As he entered the front door, the bell summoned the clerk from the back.

“Good evening, can I help you?”

“Yes, I have an engagement ring that may be ready.”

“Certainly. Do you have the sales receipt with you?”

“I sure do.” Eric pulled the receipt from his wallet and handed it to the clerk.

The clerk retrieved the information in the store database. “It looks like…it’s ready. I guess they left a message on your cell today.”

“They did?” Eric pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “Funny…I didn’t have any messages.”

“Well, it says here they left a message…not sure when, but it was today.”

While the clerk went into the back to retrieve the merchandise, Eric listened to his old messages on his voicemail. There was no message from the jewelry store. He shrugged it off as them calling the wrong number and eagerly awaited the clerks return.

So far the plan he had made was working out well. He had secured a reservation at Lombardi’s Italian Villa for 8pm, where he planned on making his proposal.

#

When Catherine entered the kitchen, Tina nearly choked on the ice water she was swallowing.

“What do you think?” Catherine asked with a wide smile.

“You…you look great Mom. Where are you going?”

“Out to dinner.” Catherine walked over to the cell phone she had left charging on the counter. “Where’s Eric?”

“He said he had a few errands to run and would be back by seven.”

Catherine didn’t want to ruin the surprise, for it wasn’t her place to warn Tina of the impending marriage question. She hoped that her daughter would give the question serious thought before answering it. Though Tina had shared her feelings about Eric with her mother, they hadn’t spoken about Bette in a very long time. Perhaps Tina really did find herself more attracted to men, but either way, Catherine wanted her to know that she would be there for her should she need her.

“Tina, I know that the past couple of weeks have been rather stressful.”

Tina looked down at her water bottle. “They have.”

“Just know that you can come to me…talk to me. I know that you are a grown woman now, who is ready to go back to school and grow up even more over the next nine months that you will be away. However, there isn’t anything that you can’t come to me and talk to me about…okay?”

Tina felt comforted by her mother’s offer, even if it was a little confusing. “Uh, sure Mom…I know I can.”

“Good.”

Catherine began transferring some essentials from her every day purse into the clutch she was taking. 

“Who are you going out with tonight?”

Before Catherine answered, the sound of the doorbell rang through the home. “Pardon me.”

As Catherine departed the kitchen, Tina’s curiosity grew. It ended when she heard the unique accent as it drifted down the hall.

“Come in, please.”

“Thank you.” As Peggy stepped into the house, her eyes traveled up and down Catherine’s body. “You look lovely dear.”

“Thank you, you do too.”

“Black is quite becoming on you.” Peggy arched a brow towards the cleavage.

“You behave,” Catherine whispered. “I just need to grab my coat.”

Peggy followed Catherine into the kitchen, where she found Tina leaning back against the counter.

“Tina….you remember Mags,” Catherine said, slightly blushing.

“Uh, yeah…I do. Hi,” Tina replied nervously, accepting the hand that had already been extended to her.

“Pleased to meet you again Tina.”

Tina was surprised at how fast Mags and her mother had made arrangements to go out. A part of her felt it was something which would likely manifest in the future, but not this soon. She wasn’t going to pass judgment, for her mother had gone so many years without having this important woman in her life. Surely they had a lot of catching up to do.

“Your mother tells me that you will be returning to school next week.”

“Yeah. The summer went by really fast.”

“I bet.” Mags started to mentally reflect on her own college years, those which included Catherine were particularly close to her heart.

“I’m ready,” Catherine announced as she re-entered the kitchen.

“It was nice to see you again Tina.”

“Likewise.”

“Honey, just remember to keep the front light on okay?”

“Okay. Enjoy your dinner Mom.”

“Thanks, I’m sure we will.” Catherine gave Tina a kiss on her cheek before exiting the house with Mags.

“You really look stunning Cookie…nearly stroked out when you answered the door in that black dress.”

Catherine chuckled. “Oh come on…this old thang?”

“Let’s just say, if Lombardi’s was a Lesbian club I would be in trouble,” Peggy laughed.

Tina peered through the long vertical window on the side of the front door. It was extremely odd to watch her mother walk alongside a woman, for though it was comfortable to her mother, it was just strange to see it for herself. She smiled at the sight of Mags opening the passenger door for her mom. She couldn’t remember her father ever doing that, though she imagined he probably did when they were first married.


	142. Chapter 142

CHAPTER 142

As Mags was pulling out of the driveway, Eric was just pulling in. Tina opened the front door and waited for him to come up the steps.

“Hey beautiful,” he said aloud from his car. 

“Did you get your errands done?”

“Yep, I sure did.”

“Did you want me to call something in for dinner?”

As Eric entered the house, he gave Tina a brief kiss on her lips. “Actually, I was thinking of going out to dinner.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, someplace nice, ya know?”

Tina followed Eric into the kitchen. “Where?”

“Well, to be honest…I made a reservation at Lombardi’s.”

“What? That place will cost and arm and a leg.”

Eric slipped his hands around Tina’s waist. “I think we deserve to go all out on ourselves don’t you think?”

“I…I don’t know…I suppose. I was a little drained today to be honest. I was thinking we could just hang out here and get takeout.”

Eric brought his lips to Tina’s. His five o’clock shadow didn’t seem to annoy her before, but today…today she had a hard time with it. Could it have been because she had indulged in the most incredible experience only hours before with Bette? The soft skin on her face, the tender lips, it couldn’t compare. “You so need to shave,” Tina said abruptly as she pulled back.

“Uh…yeah sure.” Eric dragged his hand alongside his face, feeling the short stubs. “I’m going to take a shower. I made reservations for eight.”

“Eric, didn’t you hear me?”

“Babe, it’s only dinner. We can come back here in no time and chill out on the sofa together for the rest of the night.”

Tina rolled her eyes in disapproval.

“Come on…what do ya say?”

Tina knew that it wasn’t Eric’s fault that she was feeling so cranky, therefore it wasn’t right that she be so bitter towards a gesture that really was kind. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired and cranky I guess.”

“We can save a little time showering together,” Eric said with a smirk and a raise of both brows.

“Unfortunately for you I showered when you were out running errands. I just need to change my clothes.”

Eric frowned. “Alright…I’ll take a rain check.”

Tina forced a smile as she watched him leave the kitchen for upstairs. She placed both hands on the counter as she took a deep breath. She wasn’t prepared for how conflicted she would feel in Eric’s presence after spending such an intimate afternoon with Bette. Thoughts of the engagement ring started to make her feel suffocated. She had been telling herself all week that she could do this, she could get married. In fact, she made every effort all week to think of the benefits of a heterosexual relationship over a homosexual one. On the surface, the heterosexual one would provide an easier more accepted path, but on the inside….it would never equate to that which she had with a woman, particularly one…Bette.

#

It wasn’t long before Catherine took note of the special attention that Mags appeared to be receiving from the moment they walked into the restaurant. Once they were seated in what appeared to be the most intimate part of the restaurant, nearest the fireplace, Catherine couldn’t help but inquire.

“Mags, have you been here before?”

Peggy smiled. “I actually dine here regularly love.”

Catherine raised a brow. It was one of the most exclusive restaurants in Los Angeles, knowing for a place where many Hollywood celebrities frequented. She was curious whom Mags may have been in the company of during those regular visits, though she didn’t feel it was really her business.

“The contacts I make through my foundation requires my flattering them at times.”

Catherine was slightly relieved. “I see. It must get quite expensive though.”

Peggy chuckled. “Dear, it’s chump change really.”

Their conversation was politely interrupted by the distinguished waiter who welcomed them to the restaurant, and asked for their drink order.

“A dirty martini,” Peggy replied.

“Uhm…club soda with lime?” Catherine replied hesitantly. 

“Love, be daring won’t you?”

“I don’t really drink…really.”

“What happened to the Sex on the Beach you used to love?”

Catherine felt her face warm once more. “That I haven’t had in ages.”

“Give it a go.”

Catherine smiled, which grew further at the prospect of having a drink she hadn’t consumed since college. “You’re right. I’ll take a Sex on the Beach.”

The waiter grinned, before providing a vocal review of the evening’s specials and retrieving their drinks.

“So, can you believe that after all these years we are here…sitting near one another like this?”

Catherine shook her head. It was overwhelming, and yet it felt wonderful all at the same time. “I can’t. When I saw you at Jerry’s wake I was stunned. I never thought I would ever see you again Mags.”

“I know that feeling Cookie. I really do. Honestly, I gave up many years ago believing that our paths would cross again. I had basically chalked it up to being a once in a lifetime thing, and that…perhaps it served a particular purpose for each of us and that would be the end.” Peggy scanned Catherine’s eyes. “I’m so happy that wasn’t the case. I do wish it had been under better circumstances which we met, but…I’m grateful nevertheless.”

The moment Peggy touched Catherine’s hand, Catherine felt a warmth run through her body that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. That simple touch of a hand on her own was powerful. What it stirred inside of her was surprising and embarrassing.

#

“I’m glad that I made reservations,” Eric said as he pulled up to the valet. “This place looks super busy tonight.”

Tina had stepped out of the car, before Eric could grab hold of the door. He offered her his arm which she tentatively held as they entered the restaurant. 

“You okay babe?” he whispered. “You don’t seem yourself.”

“I’m okay. I’m just tired as I said before. It was a long hike today.”

Once inside, the hostess checked her list of reservations and within a few minutes had a waiter usher the young couple to their table. He placed a menu on the side of each of their plates, then opened the dinner napkin and carefully placed it in each of their laps before taking their beverage order and reciting the evening specials.

“I think you will like Moscato, it’s sweet wine.”

Tina forced a smile. “What are you going to order?”

“I’m not sure…probably one of their nicer cuts of steak. You?”

Tina browsed the menu before her. “I don’t know….lasagna maybe?”

“Would you like some garlic bread?”

“I’m not really that hungry to be honest. I figure lasagna is a good choice because it’s easy to reheat the leftovers.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

Once the waiter returned with their bottle of wine, he carefully showed it to each one of them before opening the bottle and allowing each to sniff the aroma from the cork before pouring a quarter of a glass of wine for each of them. After their first sip of approval, he took their dinner order and left the young couple to themselves


	143. Chapter 143

CHAPTER 143

“What about you? How was your afternoon?” There weren’t too many people who Peggy was genuinely interested in hearing a life story of during her the dinners she engaged in at this restaurant. This one however, was different on every level.

“Well, I’m a bit concerned to be honest.”

“About?”

“About my daughter.”

“Tina?”

“Yes Tina, only have one daughter remember?”

“I do remember. What’s on your mind?”

Catherine took a sip of her mixed drink before she started. “She’s been seeing this boy Eric. He’s a fine boy, going to law school and everything.”

“Smart boy,” Peggy noted.

“He is Mags. I don’t doubt that he will do quite well actually. Over the summer especially, Jerry and I had an opportunity to get to know him pretty well and…well he’s just wonderful to be honest.”

“So what’s the problem Cookie?”

Catherine looked down at her glass, lost in how she could sum up everything in Tina’s life. Once again, Catherine felt the comfort of Mags’ hand as it wrapped around her own. 

“Tina had been with a young girl in high school…for a while actually.”

“No kidding?”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“Apple didn’t fall far eh Cookie?”

Catherine smiled weakly. “We didn’t know she was seeing Bette. We always thought that they were just best friends. Then one day she talked with me, and said that she was going to go to therapy. There were things in the past that…that she felt was compromising her ability to understand if dating a girl was a reaction more than a real attraction.”

“A reaction?”

“She had been…mishandled…by an uncle when she was younger.”

“Bloody hell, are you serious?”

“It’s certainly not something I would speak of lightly. It’s unfortunately true.”

“So what happened in therapy?”

“Well she went to therapy and I don’t know…I don’t know if it helped her or ended up being more confusing.”

“It must have helped, she’s with this boy now right?”

“She is, but to be honest Mags, I’m not convinced it is what is truly in her heart.”

“Why not?”

“You didn’t know Jerry…I mean really know who Jerry was today.”

“I knew how he was then, and he wasn’t very open minded at that time.”

Catherine watched as Mags took a sip of her martini. Throughout their conversation, she couldn’t help but fantasize of her and what it would feel like to be with her all these years later. They were thoughts that made her feel like she was betraying the memory of her husband, for he wasn’t buried a week yet and here she was going to dinner with her former love. 

“Cookie?”

“Sorry…um…well he ended up even more bigoted than he was before. I feel terrible for saying things like this, but…it was true. He forbid Tina to see Bette. He had put his foot down and wasn’t even going to send her to college if she went to the same school as Bette.”

“Really? That much of a tight ass?”

Catherine arched brow in surprise.

“Accept my apology, that wasn’t nice.”

“It’s okay. It made for a very difficult time in our home, and especially for Tina. That was when I told her…”

“Told her?”

“About us. I told her about you and … everything.”

The revelation surprised Peggy. She felt that Catherine would have kept their former life a total secret once she had married and especially if a family came along.

“How did she take that news?”

“She was okay with it.”

“So she had your support then?”

“Yes, she did. However, oddly enough it never seemed like my support was what she was seeking. She never felt like she stood out to Jerry, like she really mattered. She spent so much time -too much to be honest, trying to please him.”

“Ahh…you think this is what this boy has been, that attempt to keep pleasing him?”

Catherine hesitated. “I do. In my heart I wonder where Tina’s own heart really lies.”

“Does she still talk about this girl Bette?”

“Not really, and I guess that’s the thing. In school I would have imagined a lot of diversity, not to mention the fact she was away from home to do whatever she pleased. Instead, she ended up with this boy.”

“Well Cookie, I don’t know….perhaps she decided that this boy is what she wants, and not because she feels some need to please her father. I don’t want to sound harsh, but…he isn’t here anymore. What allegiance would she need to have?”

“His memory?”

“Oh come on, now that’s one terrible way to waste your life.”

“When Jerry had the heart attack, he had just come to from being out of it. He looked at Eric and spoke of how proud he was of him, and how he wanted them to marry.”

“On his death bed he said this?” Peggy wasn’t pleased. “That’s awful selfish Cookie. I’m sorry, but that isn’t thinking of someone else when you dump a bit of perpetual guilt on them.”

Catherine remained silent. She couldn’t defend Jerry, for she felt Peggy’s words were accurate.

“Did Tina agree to it?”

Catherine nodded. “She had. I think she was so caught up in that moment, feeling that at any time her father could pass away and she would never have a chance to please him, that she was willing to say anything.”

“That may be true, but she has to recognize her vulnerability in that moment…that it’s okay to not fulfill promises made in the heat of the moment like that.”

“You and I know that Mags. She however….” Catherine shook her head. “I don’t know...”


	144. Chapter 144

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ladies! So many interesting comments and questions about this story. You know I'm not going to just vomit everything...ya just gotta have patience. ;)

CHAPTER 144 

“You must talk to her,” Peggy offered boldly. “You don’t know for sure that she has given up on women. This…this thing with that boy may be her reacting to the expectations of the fucked up society we live in.”

Peggy’s vulgarity prompted Catherine to look at her face. The twinkle of passion inside of them couldn’t be ignored. It was one she saw back in college when Mags was rallying around equal rights for LGBT’s on campus.

“Catherine, you have to treat this as if Tina is denying herself what she wants, at least until she can look you in the eye and tell you that she is madly in love with this boy and truly willing to offer him that future together. If she can tell him that he is her forever…then…well then it’s got to be real and something deep in her heart which she feels for him.”

Mags hesitated as she allowed Catherine to absorb all which was said. She continued to offer more of her opinion, when Catherine offered nothing in response. “Dear, you can’t allow your daughter to walk that same path you did. You know all too well the regret that comes with that. Don’t you?”

Catherine looked down at the hand that remained wrapped around her own. “I had two beautiful children.”

“Understandable…but even more today than back in our day, Tina will still be able to have a children and make a family with a female partner.”

Catherine remained quiet.

“Cookie,” Peggy squeezed Catherine’s hand. “You are the only one that can talk some sense into the girl. If she gave her father’s deathbed wish some strength, then surely she will give your point of view equal validation. You have ‘walked’ the life that she may be opting for. Can you honestly sit back and watch your daughter make that same mistake?”

“Gosh Mags, it’s just hurtful when you call it a mistake.”

“I apologize. That was the wrong choice of words. Having children certainly isn’t a mistake, and that wasn’t what I meant to insinuate.”

“I’m sorry too.” Catherine pulled her hand away and wrapped her hands around her upper arms, rubbing them up and down. “I just want the best for her.”

“I know you do, and to do so you need to start with talking.”

Catherine nodded her head in agreement. “Tonight…I’ll talk to her when I get home tonight.”

“Didn’t you say the young boy shared his intentions that he would be asking her this evening?”

‘He did, but he didn’t seem completely sure of it. He said he wasn’t sure he would be able to get the ring or not when he had left the house.”

“But if he did….”

Catherine reached for her purse, prepared to send Tina a text message.

#

“You look really nice tonight,” Eric said as he reached across the table for Tina’s hand. “You always look great, but tonight…you look especially nice.”

“Thank you,” Tina said, looking down at the larger hand which easily covered all of hers. The hair on each of his knuckles was wirey, his skin somewhat rough. So many differing characteristics between men and women, she began evaluating them a lot more tonight than she had ever done before.

Her mind began recalling Eric’s hairy arms, armpits, legs and back. His skin wasn’t smooth at all, not like…Bette’s. The kisses which Bette planted on her were smooth, tender, and even when they were more aggressive they weren’t sloppy. She felt so much of a connection with Bette when they kissed. With Eric, it was his way of usually jump starting what he wanted, the end result…to get laid. There was so much less ‘emotional’ fulfillment when it came to sex with Eric than with Bette. The connection with Bette was unmatched, and the differences were even more noticeable where she was just intimate with Bette today. She wondered if she would completely understand it all one day...but by that time, would it be too late?

“Babe?”

“Huh?”

Eric laughed. “You are so far away. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on… I don’t believe that.”

“I’m okay. Just…um…thinking about Dad I guess.”

“I know. I was thinking of him today when I was working. I thought about how crazy he would have gotten if he saw the shoddy work that Hanson did digging that trench out. He sure was a perfectionist at times wasn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s sort of strange, how content he was that night in the hospital, when we both told him we would make a life together. In that state of trauma that the heart attack left, he still found some bit of contentment. I guess it meant a lot to him to know his little girl would be okay.”

Tina wanted to force a fake smile, but couldn’t. The conversation was interrupted by her cell phone vibrating in her purse. She reached in and pulled it out, then read the message. It was from her mother. 

**“Tina, need 2 talk. Think about all your options. Do what your heart says.”**

Upon reading the text message, Tina found herself confused. On one hand, it was awfully odd to have such a message from her mother. On the other hand, it was a little creepy that such words would have been sent to her at a time when she was trying to sort so much out in her head.

“Something important?” Eric asked.

“No…not really. Just Mom checking in.”

“Yeah? That was nice of her.”

Tina nervously played with her hair, taken by her mother’s unusual text message. 

“Babe, I…well I want you to know how much your dad meant to me. We really bonded with him this summer ya know?”

“Yeah, you both really seemed to hit it off.”

Eric shook his head and laughed as he reminisced about the summer. “I’ll never forget when your mom had thought she was doing him a favor and donated some of his old shirts to charity—“

“And she threw away one of his lucky golf shirts.”

“Yep. I never would have imagined him as someone to go dumpster diving, but damn if he didn’t huh?”

Tina couldn’t help but smile. She loved her father, with his flaws and all, and the sudden loss was something which remained difficult for her. The reminiscing made her feel closer to him, and for a moment she found herself lost in the stroll down memory lane. Through dinner, both shared many stories, allowing Tina a brief reprieve from her dilemma.


	145. Chapter 145

CHAPTER 145

After the waiter removed their plates from the table, Eric felt his palms become sweaty. All evening he was playing the ‘moment’ out in his head, the moment he would ask Tina to marry him. He had dated quite a few women before seeing her, and none had found him in a place where he was wanting a future. Tina was different, and although they hadn’t been going together very long, he was sure of his feelings.

“You enjoyed the meal?”

“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t finish it all, but it won’t go to waste, I’ll eat it tomorrow for lunch.”

“No need to apologize.” 

“Tina,” Eric started as he reached across the table and took hold of one hand. “I want you to know that I gave a lot of thought to what your father had said that night…in the hospital…”

Tina felt the moisture in his palm. That and the direction the discussion was taking started to make her nervous. He couldn’t possibly have known the ring was ready could he? This wasn’t ‘the moment’ was it? Could he really be prepared to pop that question? It would make sense, she thought to herself. It wasn’t every day that they went to such an exclusive restaurant.

“…I know that since I met you, I have felt things I’ve never felt with another woman. Today, I can honestly look at you and say that I’m completely in love with you.”

Tina felt her throat dry and her pulse begin to race. Again a text message arrived. This time, she carefully slipped the phone from her pocket which she had placed it, and read the text beneath the table.

**“Today was intense, special. I hope you don’t regret that we made love.”**

It was from Bette. The moment she had seen who it was from she lost all cognitive attention to what Eric was saying and fell victim to the words. How on earth did she get in this place where she was? She felt herself get nauseous, and her chest tighten as her breaths started to quicken.

“…I am ready to take this to the next step. Tina…Tee?”

Tina grabbed hold of the napkin and covered her mouth as she quickly ran from the table towards the ladies room.

#

When Bette didn’t receive a reply to her text, she pushed her head further into the pillow focusing her eyes on the bedroom ceiling. She didn’t regret making love with Tina, but she couldn’t deny that it opened wounds which she had been working hard to heal. She rose from the bed and stared out the window to the street below. In less than a week everyone would be back in school, and Tina…likely engaged. 

In her heart, Bette knew there would never be another Tina. She knew that her feelings were genuine. They ran deeper than anything she had ever known, and something that she would never forget for the rest of her life. Still…she had given Tina every chance, every opportunity to say that she wanted to make a life with her. It never came. For whatever reason, the gods of fate weren’t being kind, and Bette knew she had to accept that she would not be sharing a future with this woman, and either stay single or remain unattached, seeking casual experiences until she found someone special…if ever that came.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Bette? I have to head to the mall and get some more hair product. Do you want to go?”

Kit listened for a response before reaching for the door knob. The door sprung open, causing her to take a step back, not expecting Bette to open it so abruptly. 

“Hey, I’m not really up for it,” Bette replied.

“You sure? It might be good to get out.”

“I’m sure. I’m gonna probably go to bed.”

Kit looked at her watch. “Seriously? It’s only 9:30pm.”

“I’m sure.”

“You okay baby girl?”

“Yeah, just tired is all.”

Kit reached forward and touched her sister cheek. “You’re temp feels fine. Okay, well if you need something while I’m there just text me.”

“I will.” Bette closed the door then returned to her bed. She sat on top pulling her legs up close to her as she took hold of the pillow which Tina’s head had rested on earlier. She pressed her nose deep into the pillowcase, hoping to retrieve some scent left behind. 

#

Eric pushed his fingers through his thick black hair. He couldn’t believe that his proposal for marriage was abruptly interrupted. At the same time, he worried as to how Tina was feeling. He played with the small box which remained in his coat pocket, hoping that once Tina returned to the table, he may have a second chance to pose his question.

As he waited, he nervously started to tap the table with the bottom of his empty water glass. His eyes scanned the path from the table to the ladies room, hoping to find Tina heading back. As his eyes roamed, he was surprised when he noticed Catherine at a table in the corner by the fireplace. He wasn’t sure, but the woman she was with appeared to be the really refined woman that had attended Jerry’s calling hours. Just as he was going to stand from the table and ask her to check the restroom, he felt his eyes deceive him. 

While he stared at Catherine, he watched as the other women took Catherine’s hand and brought it towards her mouth; he couldn’t believe what he was observing. Catherine was smiling, and appearing quite happy as this woman kissed the back of it. 

Uncertain what to do, he quickly pulled his eyes from the scene and stared at the candle which was centered on his table. As curiosity won him over, his eyes returned to the table once more.

#

Catherine felt herself flush at the sensation of Peggy’s lips touching the back of her hand. It had been years since she had felt romanced, and even then it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t with a woman. No matter how hard she tried to seek those romantic feelings with Jerry, it was never the same.

“Your skin…it’s so incredibly soft. Oh how I remember that softness years and years ago,” Peggy muttered close to the skin before allowing their hands to fall slowly to the table.

“You use to always make fun of me for using so much hand lotion.”

Peggy cracked a smile. “I did do that. Ah, to be young again Cookie.”

“I know Mags.”

“Where on earth did those years go? How the hell did they escape us?”

“I’m not sure.”

After the ladies argued about how the check was going to be paid, Peggy’s dominance won out, and she had the total placed on her credit card. “Dear, this is nothing. Please don’t worry yourself any okay?”

Catherine offered an admonishing but sexy look, which prompted a raised brow in return. In that unspoken moment, it was like the women were sexually sparring with one another, with Mags the first to break the spell.

“Are you ready dear?” Mags asked. 

“Certainly. Do you mind if I use the restroom before we leave?”

“No, not at all.”

“I won’t be long,” Catherine said as she pushed her chair from the table.

“I’ll be here love.”


	146. Chapter 146

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG...you ladies definitely make my day! Not only do I laugh, but I smile, I shake my head, and sometimes I even wonder if you might have hacked into my laptop! Ha Ha!!! Enjoy...

CHAPTER 146

Bette didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until she heard the incessant “ping” coming from her computer She sat up and lazily reached for the laptop that was sitting on a table at the end of the bed. 

RO: hey u

* BUZZ

* BUZZ

RO: u there?

* BUZZ

* BUZZ

RO: guess not, drop me an IM when u can

Bette pulled the laptop to the top of the bed and started to type to Rosalie.

BP: Im here

RO:  oh hi!

BP: How r u doing?

RO: Ok. I haven’t heard from u since u came back from the wake that night. U ok?

BP: Yeah

BP: No

RO: ?

BP: Long story

RO: I’ve got time

BP: Can you get on Skype?

RO: Sure I’ll grab my headset and call u

BP: k

Bette retrieved her headset from her desk drawer and plugged it in, eager to update Rosalie on all that had occurred between the calling hours for Tina’s father and tonight. She was a pretty wise girl, and Bette looked forward to hearing what she had to say about things.

#

When Catherine entered the ladies room, she held the door for a lady who was exiting, then proceeded to the last sink. She stood in front of one of the mirrors carefully studying her face. She didn’t look like she had when she was eighteen, and funny, in Mags’ company it didn’t seem to matter. Jerry had always had a way of dropping a few digs here and there when it came to her putting on a couple of pounds, or a wrinkle which seemed to appear overnight. She constantly found herself doing everything and anything to keep the image she held in her younger years. With Mags…there was an ease. She felt incredibly attractive with what she felt was such little effort. As she applied a fresh coat of lipstick to her lips, she couldn’t help but hear the sound of a faint crying from one of the bathroom stalls.

Though it may not have been her business, Catherine Kennard was a people person who cared about others. She intentionally took her time with her lipstick and fingering through her hair, hoping the person would soon come out.

When Tina didn’t hear any movement inside the bathroom, she felt it was safe to come out from behind the safety of the stall. As she opened the stall door, Catherine made herself look busy by pretending to dab a piece of tissue at the corner of her eye. When her eyes glided across the mirror to the image that had emerged, she was met with surprise.

“Tina?!?

Tina looked over towards the sink, the stall door still in her hand. “Mom? Wh…what are you doing here?” The sight of her mother prompted Tina to burst into tears.

“Oh Tina,” Catherine rushed to her daughter and embraced her tight before pulling back to see the tears and wet lashes that proved the pain her daughter was in. “Did you get my text message?”

“I did…but my battery died. Bette sent me one too, but when I was going to reply back to you both from the bathroom, my battery was flat.”

“Is Eric here?” Catherine asked.

Tina nodded. 

“Did he…ask you to marry him?” Catherine hated to be the one to ruin the surprise, but this was far to big an issue to just avoid it all together.

“No, not yet. I know he’s going to though. I had his cell phone today. He had gotten a message from the jewelers that the engagement ring is ready. I…Mom I was so surprised.” Tina started to sob as she reached her hands around her mother’s waist to hug her once more.

“I know. He talked with me briefly this afternoon about it.”

“About marrying me?”

“Yes.”

“Well what did you tell him?”

“Tina, you and I haven’t honestly been able to talk. All summer you both have been hanging out together all the time. I hadn’t seen you even bothering with your friends so…well, I guess I was under the impression that things were going really well between the both of you.”

Tina couldn’t blame her mother for being confused. She was too, to a certain degree.

“Do you love him?”

Tina pulled back as she gave the question some thought. Her eyes scanned her mothers. “I…I don’t know…not like I am suppose to I don’t think.”

“Shhh…Tina…honey we need to talk, you and I.”

“I just don’t know what I’m suppose to do Mom,” Tina said weakly.

“For one thing, you need to think this through. This is a huge step, and shouldn’t be decided upon without knowing what you feel one hundred percent. Does he know you are upset?”

“No, I just…I felt panicked when I thought he was going to ask so I ran to the bathroom. He probably thinks I got sick.”

“When you return, he may move forward and ask…or…he may wait for another time. You don’t have to provide an answer right away. It’s okay to tell him you need some time to think about it. In the meantime, I want to have a chance to talk with you this evening when I get home. I don’t think we are going anywhere else, so I expect I’ll be home within a half hour, an hour tops.”

“Okay.”

Catherine kissed the top of Tina’s head. “Just don’t do anything impulsive.”

 _Impulsive,_ Tina thought to herself. _Like having sex with Bette when we were on a hike?_

“I’ll be home soon and we’ll talk. Will you be okay until then?”

Tina nodded then watched as her mother exited the restroom. She dried her tears with a small tissue before exiting the restroom and returning back to the table.


	147. Chapter 147

CHAPTER 147

“I’m sorry Bette. It sounds like she’s in a tough spot. A promise to her papa and the love she feels for you.”

“I don’t know what to do Ro. I just don’t. I love her so fucking much and I feel so helpless. There isn’t a damn thing that I can do. I’ve done it all. I’ve given it my all. Why can’t Tina just do what is in her heart? Why? Why can’t she just grow up instead of acting like she is still a kid?”

Bette’s impatience and pain was coming through strong in her words.

“You love her Bette. Though you are on a the inside, you are also on the outside a looking in and what is clear to you isn’t as black and white to her. You did all you could do. She may have to make the mistake herself in order for her to a see it for herself.”

“Well...what does she expect Ro? Am I suppose to just wait around here for the years to pass by until she realizes the big mistake she made?”

“No, not at all.”

“Then what? Be like Shane and just be in the “moment” with women you meet…mess around with one this week, a new one next week…hang out at strip clubs on the weekends?”

“Bette…” Rosalie hesitated. She knew that wasn’t Bette. While it may serve as a spicy distraction, it wasn’t the woman she knew. “You aren’t like that Bette. You want a long term relationship, something a bit unusual at a young age, but it’s you never the less.”

“Do I?”

“Yes, you do. You are upset right now.”

“Why shouldn’t I be? Today meant something to me Ro. I didn’t fuck Tina. I didn’t think of it as some casual encounter. For me, we were making love.”

It was hard for Rosalie to hear Bette share such details considering her own passion for this young woman. However, she unselfishly put her own feelings aside to support Bette and help her fight for the woman she was in love with. “Bette…why are you assuming it wasn’t like that for Tina?”

“Because…I sent her a text message, hoping she didn’t regret that we made love today, and…I never got a reply back. She’s probably too busy accepting dickhead’s proposal.”

“Bette, the worse a thing you can do is get bitter. You love Tina. Don’t ever allow bitterness to grow. In the end, it’s her choice isn’t it?”

As hard as it was for Bette to bring the words to her lips, Rosalie was right. 

“Bette?”

“Yes, it is…it is her decision.”

“So, be her friend Bette.”

“How Ro? I love her so fucking much. How do you just be friends with the woman you would give your last breath for?”

Rosalie didn’t have the answers, for she was in that same place; difference is that her feelings were for Bette. “I…I don’t know. You just try…you…just…try.”

#

When Tina returned to the table Eric had already settled the check. His expression was one of disappointment.

“I’m sorry,” Tina said as she took a seat across from him.

“It’s okay. Are you okay?” His question appeared genuine, and his disappointment was likely because the moment didn’t come off as he had planned.

“Yes, I’m okay. I just…I don’t know, I felt like I was having a hot flash or something and then felt really nauseous.”

Eric glanced over to where Peggy and Mags were sitting. He watched as Catherine eased her arms into the jacket which Mags was holding up for her. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?” Tina’s eyes followed Eric’s. “Um…your mother and that woman from the wake the other night…they are here.”

“Oh?” Tina glanced away from the direction they were and waited for Eric’s eyes to return to hers.

“They are leaving. Don’t look…it’s best we pretend we didn’t see them.”

“Why? What’s wrong with—“

“Trust me,” Eric said firmly. 

Once the women headed towards the entrance of the restaurant, Eric leaned in towards Tina. “They aren’t just friends.”

Tina pushed a difficult strand of hair behind her ear. “What are you talking about?”

“They were cozy in the corner over there. I saw that woman take your mothers hand and hold it, then bring it to her mouth and kiss the back of it.”

Tina felt her stomach turn upside down. It didn’t bother her any that her mother was dining with Mags or becoming reacquainted, but knowing Eric’s biases and the fact that he had seen them, made her feel completely uncomfortable.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know…I mean, maybe they are just really close friends or something.”

“Really? Then why on earth would she have to introduce you to this woman at your dad’s funeral? If they have been such good friends, you would have already met her by now.”

Tina wasn’t sure what to say. He had her cornered between a rock and a hard place, with little to no wiggle room. “I don’t know Eric, but mom’s business isn’t ours. She went through a difficult time this past week, losing dad and all—“

Eric interrupted, “Yeah? Well you wouldn’t think she was feeling too bad…at least not tonight!”

“Come on, just let it go. It doesn’t matter what she is doing. Mom is an adult, and I have no problem if she wants to go out with friends to take her mind off things.”

“No Tina, you’re in denial. There is a lot more going on between them than you think.”

“And you know that how?”

“By the whole hand thing….the fact she held your mother’s coat up for her to slip into. It wouldn’t surprise me if they have been seeing one another behind your dad’s back, and the other night was a big spectacle for everyone else’s benefit.”

“What spectacle?”

“When your mother acted so surprised to see her. They probably both had that planned. They were way too friendly. I can’t promise that I won’t say something to her Tina.”

Tina weaved her fingers through the top of her hair. “Eric, let it go.”

Eric took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. His disappointment in how the night ended was magnified by the shock of seeing Catherine in what seemed to be an intimate dinner with some strange woman.

“Can we leave now? I just want to go home.” 

Tina was interested in talking more with her mother, not to mention the fact that she didn’t want to leave a lot of room for him to pop the question out of impulsiveness. She was relieved when he stood from the table and started towards the entrance of the restaurant.


	148. Chapter 148

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric, Eric, Eric...what to do with you? If only you knew the mob that is ready to just take you out boy. You need to maybe exit stage right... LOL

CHAPTER 148

The first thing Tina did when she arrived home was charge her phone. Her mother hadn’t arrived home yet, which left she and Eric alone in the house.

It had been a fairly stressful ride home, with Eric frequently sharing his disbelief and bigoted feelings about her mother. Tina’s patience was growing thinner by the minute.

“I know she is your mother, but it really pisses me off that she could disrespect your father so much.”

Tina had enough. She turned around abruptly and started to lay into Eric. “You have no right to judge my mother! You and I have been going together for less than a year, and you think you have this right to spew shit out of your mouth. Well let me tell you something, you fucking don’t.”

Eric was taken back by Tina’s bold and firm stance.

“Her business is not your business, and isn’t mine either.”

“You are her daughter Tina. She has an obligation to set a good example for her children.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Mark asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Nothing,” Tina quickly replied.

“You feel like shooting some hoops out back?” His question directed towards Eric.

“No, I…I think I’ll take a rain check buddy.” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah, another time maybe. I need to get going.”

Mark shrugged his shoulders and returned upstairs to his bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Tina asked.

“I’m going to head back to our place.”

“What? What for? I thought we were staying here for the rest of the week and then going back in time for Fall classes?”

“Yeah well, I can’t say that I would be able to refrain from telling your mother what I think of all this Tina. It’s best that I not be here when she gets home.”

Tina looked up at the ceiling, staggered by Eric’s offensiveness. “You can’t put this behind you can you?”

The headlights which pulled into the driveway had shone across the kitchen wall, indicating that Catherine was likely home.

“I best be going.”

“So is this how you deal with problems? You run away?”

“No, it’s not. I don’t run from anything.”

“Well you are now.”

“Don’t you think it’s better that I do the right thing? That I not risk losing my cool and sharing what’s on my mind right now?”

“You can’t just go to the bedroom and chill out for a while?”

Eric’s expression showed his answer.

“How do you expect that I get back to school the end of this week?”

“I’ll come back and get you.”

“Thanks a lot. You leave me here to empty my dad’s closet…to do all the stuff that needs to get done…without any support right?”

Eric heard the front door open, which was his signal to get moving. “I’m sorry.”

As he proceeded towards the front door, Catherine was just waving goodbye to Mags. 

“Excuse me,” he said with clenched teeth.

“Oh Eric…hel…bye.” Catherine watched as Eric pushed the front door open and departed the house. Her first thought was that he proposed to Tina and she had refused his proposal. She closed the front door and headed towards the kitchen were Tina was leaning against the counter.

“Did he ask?”

“No.”

“He looked upset when he was leaving.”

Tina didn’t want to upset her mother. The woman who was standing before her was someone who had been through quite a bit this past week, but over the years in general. There was a notable difference in her, though it couldn’t be nailed down to one thing. She stood differently, a bit more confidence in her stance. Her eyes had a sort of twinkle in them, something she had never seen. It was clear that Catherine was in an extraordinarily different place right now, and the last thing Tina wanted was to disrupt any of it.

“It doesn’t matter. He can be such a … ugh…a jerk sometimes that’s all.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know.” Tina felt herself retreating. 

“We agreed to talk when I got home tonight,” Catherine urged.

The conversation was interrupted by Mark who had come back into the kitchen to ask his mother if he could sleep over a friends house. Once he heard the approval, he ran to his room to get his things together.

“Come on, let’s sit in the living room. I would rather we didn’t avoid this one.”

Tina took a deep breath and followed her mother to the living room. “Do you mind if I use your cell phone really quick to text Bette back?”

“Not at all.”

#

“Have you heard from Jan?” Rosalie inquired.

“No, I haven’t. I don’t expect to either.”

“It’s probably for the best Bette.”

“I know. It’s hard when you can’t stay friends sometimes, but I’m seeing really fast that it’s the best thing.”

“Has anything happened?”

“Yeah. She was trying to spread some shit about me to my friends, thinking she would be able to sway them her way or something.”

“Oh madone! I hate when women act like children.”

“Ya think?”

“Well, if they are really your friends then they should know who you are for you. Those that can be swayed away, really weren’t your friends to begin with. In time, they will soon learn the type of woman she is.”

“I know, and you’re right. It’s no skin off my back if any of them decide to fall for her bullshit. I’ve been doing my best to not respond to her games, but it can be hard sometimes.”

“Bette, you focus on your life and what you want. You work towards getting it. She’s in your past, and a good reason why she isn’t in your present. You thought you were in love with her, but now that you have been apart, can you honestly say you feel that still?”

“No, not at all. I don’t know what it was…maybe she was more of a reaction than anything. I made more of the feelings I felt than what they really were. I have to admit, I didn’t see it until we were apart.”

“It’s best you found out sooner than later.”

“I know.”

“Have faith Bette. If it’s meant to be, you and Tina will find one another again. I really believe that.”

“God I wish I could believe that Ro. Marriage seems so permanent, such a huge and final step…hold on…my cell just beeped.”

Bette grabbed her phone and flipped it open. The words that stared back at her caused her eyes to moisten.


	149. Chapter 149

CHAPTER 149

“I don’t regret a thing. It was the most meaningful, loving thing I’ve   
experienced in a long time. I’m sorry I didn’t text u sooner. My battery  
had died. I love u…so much”

“She wrote back,” Bette blurted into the headset.

“Huh?”

“Tina, she sent me a text back.”

“Oh good. You okay?”

“Uhm…yeah,” Bette replied, trying to keep her tears in. “She said her battery had died. That was reason she hadn’t replied sooner.”

“Aw, see Bette? An honest explanation.”

“I know. I wonder though…if he picked the ring up, if he proposed…”

“Well, don’t be losing a sleep over anything you have no control over.”

“I know Ro. I just wish I knew…” 

A silence grew as Bette continued to stare at the words on the screen of her phone.

“I wish I could continue to hang with you, but I’ve gotta go and help papa in a the market in a few minutes.”

“It’s okay Rosalie. I really appreciate that you spent so long talking.”

“You call me anytime okay?”

“Okay. Thanks Ro. You’re a great friend.”

“No need to thank me Bette.”

Bette clicked on the red button and ended the call with Rosalie. She sat up in bed and waited a minute, deciding if she should reply back to Tina’s text.

#

Mark was quickly out the door on his way to his friends house, which left Catherine and Tina complete privacy.

“How was dinner Mom?”

Catherine formed a smile, one that seemed easier to manage than the many others she forced over the years. “It was wonderful Tina.”

“I’m glad.”

Catherine looked at her daughter. “Are you sure?”

“What is that suppose to mean?”

“Well, I can understand if you would feel a little … um…I don’t know, maybe upset with me seeing Mags, so soon after your father—“

“Mom, not at all. It’s okay. I mean…I guess if it were someone you didn’t know before, and just ran out and started to see someone I suppose I may not have liked it. But…it’s different.”

“You sure?” Catherine asked, hoping to retrieve any bit of discontent that Tina might have over her spending time with Mags.

“I am. Unlike some other people.”

“What does that mean?”

Tina expressed a deep sigh. “Eric. He saw you both at the restaurant this evening. When I returned back to the table, he started getting all cranky at what he had seen.”

“What he had seen? I don’t understand.”

“He said that he had seen Mags take your hand and caress it, and then kiss the back of it.”

Catherine closed her eyes a moment, trying to hide the disappointment. “I’m sorry.”

“Mom, there isn’t any need to apologize. I’m not upset by it at all, and I don’t care what Eric thinks about it. It’s none of his business what you do.”

“That’s true…it’s just that we are both taking things slow, and I’m sure it must have been a shock to see not only what he saw, but that it was from a woman.”

“Well…still…it isn’t his business.”

Catherine leaned back against her chair. “What is it that you are so upset about?”

“Him, he just…ugh, he drives me crazy sometimes.”

“Uh huh. Do you want to elaborate a bit?”

“Well, he is just so bigoted. He has no right to –“

“Hold on a moment. He has a right to feel whatever it is he feels. It may be different from what you think and believe, but it is his feelings nevertheless.”

“But it’s so wrong Mom.”

“In your eyes it may be. Perhaps in my own eyes it is as well, but it doesn’t mean that you have to adopt his way of thinking. He is entitled to think the way he does, and you are entitled to your feelings too.”

Tina folded her arms, resisting any attempt to understand Eric at this moment in time. “Mom, if you want to take up a relationship with Mags, it doesn’t bother me.”

Catherine smiled. “Thank you Tina. I’m not sure where we will be going with this, if anywhere. We have enjoyed one another’s company, and have had a wonderful time catching up on all the years in between college and where we are today.”

“Well did she ask you out?”

“I…uhm…well I wouldn’t say it was a formal request, but perhaps this evening did feel that way…like a date.”

Tina smirked at her mother’s shy side. “You really like her don’t you Mom?”

Catherine felt herself blush with a bit of embarrassment. “It’s so strange to be discussing such a relationship with you. It was so…so very forbidden years ago when she and I were young.”

“I bet. It must have been really hard. I mean, I know how hard it was when Bette and I were together.”

Catherine searched her daughters eyes. She knew that Jerry had been one of the greatest contributors to the tension. “But my generation and your generation are so different Tina. There has been so much progress today that you just couldn’t begin to think of such a relationship as being possible back then. Look at Massachusetts, the first state to recognize same sex marriage. There are gay friendly hotels and resorts all over the country, and so many advocates fighting for equal rights today. While there is still a long way to go, you are very fortunate to be living in a time that has at least ‘started’ to take a look at equal rights.”

“True. I’m sure you must have felt hopeless back then.”

“I sure did. Don’t get me wrong Tina, I’ve told you this before, I loved your father. I had two wonderful children with him. You and Mark are the good that came out of our marriage. He was a hard worker –“

“But it isn’t everything…wasn’t everything…was it?”

Catherine retrieved a piece of Kleenex from her pocket and dabbed the corner of her eye. “No…it wasn’t.”

“Do you regret marrying Dad?”

“No, I can’t say that I regret it because in doing so I would be denying the good things that came out of that union, you and Mark.”

“But I mean, if you didn’t have us Mom. If say you didn’t have any kids and stuff. Would you have regretted it?”

Catherine paused, fighting the will to shake her head in agreement. It was a hard thing to admit after burying her husband of so many years just a few days ago.

“I need to know Mom…please?” A part of Tina needed to have this difficult conversation with her mother. She was searching for that knowledge that only experience could offer.


	150. Chapter 150

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric...RUN ERIC....RUN!! The women are coming after you... RUN LIKE HELL!

CHAPTER 150

“If I was strong enough…and had the courage…I would have chosen Mags in a heartbeat.”

“What would your parents have said?”

Catherine offered a slight sarcastic chuckle. “Disowned me. No doubt in my mind.”

Tina thought of her father. “It’s hard…to know that would happen.”

“It is, very much so. However, after your grandparents passed on, I remember feeling really bitter. I felt bitter because I knew that I failed to listen to my heart because I was so concerned about being the good daughter…not going against the tide. They raised me well, and…I…I couldn’t disappoint them.”

“Sort of like how I felt about Dad…when Bette and I were dating?”

“Yes, I’m sure it was very similar. That was why I had gotten to a point where I put my foot down. You remember, when he didn’t want to send you to school in this area because he feared you would maintain a relationship with her.”

“Yes, I do remember.”

“Then you ended up seeing Eric, and all summer you both really seemed to be hitting it off pretty well. It had pleased him to see that you had met someone who seemed to make you happy.”

Tina had still been holding her mom’s cell phone in her hand when an incoming text arrived from Bette.

**“I love u 2. So much.”**

Tina looked down at her lap, planning on replying back to Bette a little later. She returned her attention to her mother. “I’m just so confused about everything.”

“About your feelings?”

“Yes. I just…Mom, it’s so complicated…you just don’t know.”

Catherine placed her hand on her daughter’s lap. “Try me.”

Tina smiled awkwardly, unsure if her mother would be able to understand it all. This was the first time in a very long time they were able to sit and have a really deep conversation. “When I started to see Bette in high school, it felt really great. Really safe. I suppose at such a young age I didn’t understand whether I was into her more for the attention I got, or if it was really love…ya know what I mean?”

Catherine nodded in agreement.

“Anyway…I got to a point where I felt confused. For awhile I had put the whole molestation so deep in the back of my mind, and I was okay keeping it there. But…when Dad started going crazy about me being with a girl, it kind of forced me to look at myself…my life. I honestly wasn’t sure if things felt safe with Bette because it was about genuine love or…because she wasn’t a guy…because the molestation had left such bitter feelings towards boys, that I wasn’t giving them a fair chance. Does that make sense?”

“It certainly does. Once you feel betrayed, that trust is broken. It’s hard to let yourself feel close to that person, or others who you equate with that person.”

“That was why I started therapy, to try to see the difference. I admit that I dated Johnny more of a reaction to Dad’s demands and expectations. In some ways, it was nice not to have to feel ‘different’ or deal with all the bull that comes with being with the same sex. Some places around here are cool with it…others, not so much. Ya know? So…like it was sort of easy in some ways, especially at home. Dad approved of me being with a boy, and you could see it on his face. That approval. He actually would talk to me like a person that whole time I was with Johnny. Then I don’t know, Bette and I just drifted and never found ourselves on the same page. I had met another woman, and had seen her briefly, but I figured if I could be with Johnny and be okay with it, then maybe….maybe I could let myself be with a man ya know?”

“Do you find that you are attracted to both sexes?”

Tina paused, giving that question careful thought. “I…I don’t know. I mean, I look at guys and think they are attractive…really nice to look at and such. I have probably forced myself to think of having a life with a man so much, that the picture in my head of my being with one long term is there because I forced it upon myself. The real attraction….the real sexual attraction and emotional attraction…I guess…I haven’t found it with a man yet.”

“Do you think you felt that with Bette?”

Tina didn’t hesitate to nod in agreement.

Catherine was surprised to hear her daughter’s quick response. “Then don’t settle Tina.”

“But I made a promise Mom.” Tina’s eyes started to quickly fill up. “I promised him…it was like one of the last things we talked about before he…before he had ended up dying on us.” Tina snaked her fingers through her hair as she rested her head in her hands. “How do you break such a promise?”

“It…it was a reaction Tina. It was such a highly emotional moment. Your father was so sick, and…he…well first of all, he saw what I had seen all summer, and that was what appeared to be a very happy young couple.”

Tina remained quiet as she listened to her mother explain.

“You and Eric seemed really happy Tina. I would have never thought you weren’t feeling fulfilled. You didn’t hang out with your friends hardly at all, and so…well it was quite easy to think you and Eric could become more serious. Your dad knew that you were both living together already, as did I.”

“I just wish I knew why he needed that promise. Was it because he just wanted to leave this earth knowing I was really going to be okay? That he knew where my life was headed if he didn’t make it? Or…was it that he just could never accept me with a woman?” Tina struggled with the lack of answers. 

“Well, that’s something we may never know.”

“He couldn’t accept Bette,” Tina added.

“No, he was quite set in his ways.”

“I really feel he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t with her, and that was why he made both of us promise that we would make a life together.”

Catherine sighed. “Tina…is that what you want?”

“To make a life with Eric?”

“Yes. In your heart, do you feel you could have a fulfilling life with him. Not just ‘a’ fulfilling life, but the “most” fulfilling life…with him?”

Tina shook her head. “No. He’s not the one.”

“Tina, then don’t sell yourself short. We will never know what Daddy’s real intent was behind those words. In hindsight it was a selfish request. Perhaps he just wanted to pass with the knowledge that you would be together. Maybe it was his prejudices coming through. In the end, it doesn’t matter…not one bit.”

“How can you say that Mom? I promised.”

“Promises are definitely special, and they should be made carefully. Did you feel that you had time to really consider what your father was asking of you both?”

Tina hesitated a moment before shaking her head that she did not. 

“Then, your response was purely a reaction…a need to continue pleasing the man. Look Tina, I loved your father, but he also was an extremely difficult and opinionate man. You reach a point in your life where you have to stop worrying about what others think, what others are going to say. You live your life for you, and what makes you the most happiest. You have forfeited a few good years already because you have been doing nothing more than seeking his approval. Now he is gone, and you are going to devote the rest of your life to making sure you live a life which he approved of?”

Tina’s tears continued to stroll down her face as her mother continued to fee her a new tissue ever now and then. “I just feel like it would be so wrong to go against what I said.”

“Haven’t you ever asked something of someone and then later realized that it was maybe too much to have asked?”

“Yeah…that has happened.”

“Your father is not a saint. Whatever you do, don’t put him up on a pedestal Tina. He made his share of mistakes. He put a roof over our heads and food on the table, but he was selfish in many ways. He put his own self image and what he wanted for you, before thinking of what “you” wanted for yourself. In my eyes, no matter what promises are made, if they are made through manipulation, coercion, or because of a lack of information, then they should be considered obsolete…dissolved.”

Tina couldn’t believe her mother’s position. “How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not. The point is nothing is with complete assurance, or one hundred percent right. That includes those who solicit promises while on their death bed.”

“So…what are you saying Mom? That I should consider disregarding what I said to him?”

Catherine lifted her head high. “Yes, that is most certainly what I am saying.”

Tina took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “I…I just don’t know.”

“It’s noble of you Tina…to want to live your life how your parents would expect you to, but remember…you have two parents. My position has always been to choose the path which makes you most happy. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the easiest one. It doesn’t mean that you may not have more hardships on that path than the more conventional one, but in the end you will find far more happiness for doing what is in your heart than what you feel is expected…by someone who isn’t even with us any longer…as harsh as that may sound. You aren’t a teen anymore. You are a young woman. It’s time you lived your life how you want, how you see fit. Plant your own seeds and make your own way now.”


	151. Chapter 151

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Eric...lad...you really are NOT listening are you? You are going to be fed to lions if the women catch up with you.

CHAPTER 151

It was one of the most honest yet raw conversations that Tina ever had with her mother. Although she felt tense, she also felt herself surrounded by a sense of freedom. Her body felt light. Her mind felt liberated. She certainly had her mother’s blessing. The question was, could she live without her father’s?

“I’ve always felt that my word…it has been my honor, ya know?”

“I understand that, and it’s one of the finer things about a persons character Tina. I’m proud that you hold that in high regard. But it would be negligent of me as your mother, to sit back and just watch you head towards a path that you just…that you don’t really want honey; one that I took myself, and for the wrong reasons as well.”

Tina nodded as her thoughts went to Eric and how the discussion would end up playing out. He hadn’t asked her to marry him yet, so that was a relief.

“Have you both been using protection?” 

Catherine’s question stunned Tina. It was obvious that they would be having sex, but the question just seemed to come out of nowhere. 

“Uh, yeah…we have.”

“Always?”

“For the most part.”

Catherine raised her brow. “Tina….”

“There were only a few times Mom…that we hadn’t.”

Catherine closed her eyes and placed her hand against her forehead. “Tina, I had told you about the first time I got pregnant…in college. It was what catapulted me towards settling down with your father.”

“I’m not pregnant Mom.”

“Are you sure?”

Tina felt her face grow warm. Truth was, she wasn’t 100 percent sure without getting her period. She was due any time now, and she was never on time anyway. Pregnancy wasn’t something she had given much thought to, for her father’s death and the promises made had taken a front seat to everything else.

“I…geez Mom, that’s the last thing I want to have to worry about now.”

“Tina, I don’t want to turn this into a lecture, as you are old enough to know. However…it’s careless not to use some form of protection. You are taking a huge gamble, and…oh baby, I don’t want you to find yourself being forced down a road that isn’t the one which you belong on. Please…promise me that in the future, if you do end up choosing to continue a relationship with Eric, that you use protection.”

Tina felt disappointed in herself. It hadn’t been too many times…truly it hadn’t. But…all it would take was one time, and then she would find herself in a more difficult place than anything she had known so far. “I promise.”

Tina and Catherine’s attention turned towards the kitchen where they heard the side door open. Eric walked into the living room, feeling somewhat awkward from suddenly becoming the center of attention.

“Hey,” he said weakly.

“I think I’ll make some tea and leave you two alone.” Catherine stood from the chair and headed towards the kitchen, passing Eric as she did.

Tina remained on the sofa, where Eric soon joined her.

“I’m sorry…about…about earlier. I was out of line.”

Tina couldn’t muster a reply. He was right, he was out of line and she wasn’t going to dismiss it by telling him it was okay.

Eric rubbed the palms of his hands up and down the top part of his legs. “I had planned a really special evening…for us both. When it ended up getting messed up, I just…well I made a bigger deal of things than I should have.”

“Yes, you did.”

Eric looked towards Tina. “I’m trying here.”

“I can see that. I just…Eric…I…I know…”

“You know? About what?”

“I know about….”

#

Bette had pulled the box down from the top shelf of her closet. It was one that had started smaller, and was eventually replaced by a bigger one every few months. She sat on the bed and carefully opened each flap.

Her eyes widened at the amount of things she had accumulated while she and Tina were together. Some things she remembered, while other items were vague. 

She pulled a Christmas card from the box. It was their first Christmas together, as indicated on the card. Bette smiled as she opened the card and read each word Tina had written. As if by instinct, she traced each curve, each line. She placed the card onto the bed, then proceeded to take out a pile of assorted pictures. 

“We sure had fun,” she thought to herself as she perused through the pile. 

Each picture brought her back to that period in time, and each of those moments came alive through flashbacks that played heavily in her mind. There were love letters, cards, torn concert tickets, movie stubs, old score charts from when they went bowling, played miniature golf, and a few other activities they enjoyed together. 

Yep…they sure made some terrific memories in the few years they were together. Memories that Bette felt couldn’t be matched by any other woman…not ever. She knew that her life was headed in one of two directions. She was either going to hope that Tina found her way back to her, and soon, so they could begin carving their own history together…or…that she was going to be forced to accept that Tina was not going to be in her future, and move on…as difficult and heartbreaking as that would be. Far too much time had passed already where Bette felt that she had been in limbo. She just needed to know…was Tina in, or was she out.

#

“….the ring.”

Eric’s facial expression was one of surprise. “You knew about the ring? What?” He looked towards the kitchen.

“Before you even think about blaming my mother, she didn’t say a thing.”

“Then how? How did you know?”

Tina felt her throat go dry. She didn’t want the discussion to be harsh or mean. She wanted to have an adult conversation, one she wasn’t sure that Eric would be capable of.

“I had your phone today.”

“Yeah…so?”

“A voicemail was left. I only listened to it because I thought that you might have been calling me, and it may have been important or something.”

Eric closed his eyes and buried his head into the palm of his hands. “Fucking hell.”

“I’m sorry Eric. I didn’t have a clue that it would be a jewelry store that left a message.”

“But I didn’t have any old messages in the phone—“

“I deleted it.”

Eric could feel his anger growing. “Why? Why did you do that?”

“I…I don’t know, I guess I…. Maybe I just wanted to make pretend it wasn’t happening.”

“Pretend it wasn’t happening? What does that mean?”

Before Tina could answer, his questions continued.

“So tonight…you knew then…you knew what I had planned…”

“No, no I didn’t. I had a good feeling it may have been headed that way when we went to such an exclusive restaurant, and when you started to…to talk about how much you love me and –“

Eric stood from the sofa. “Tina…it was meant to be a really nice evening...”

“I know this. I’m sorry Eric. I wasn’t prepared to be hearing a proposal.”

“You weren’t prepared? How could you not be? You were present at the hospital when your father made it very clear what his wishes were.”

By this time, Eric’s voice was raised enough that Catherine could hear him. However, her attention focused on a light knock at the side door of the kitchen. As she went to answer it, Eric and Tina continued their discussion.


	152. Chapter 152

CHAPTER 152

It wasn’t Eric’s fault that Tina had been hiding such a tremendous part of who she was. In his eyes, they enjoyed a great summer together, got along with the family, and were headed towards great things once he graduated from Law School the following June.

“We have so much ahead of us Tina. All good things…why would you not want to hear a proposal?”

“Because…it’s not what I want right now.”

It wasn’t the words that Eric wanted to hear, not in the least. He was more than prepared to marry Tina, even if he was young. His parents were nineteen when they married, and his grandparents eighteen. He hoped that Tina was just having some butterflies and it wasn’t anything that she wouldn’t consider at least down the road. 

Eric returned to the sofa. “Tina, we don’t need to actually get married right away. In fact, I’d like to have graduated from school and been hired by a law firm in L.A. first. We could think about having a ceremony next fall.” Eric took hold of Tina’s hand. “By then, you will be done with your second year of school, and I’ll be making some incredible money.”

Tina looked down at her hand as it got lost in Eric’s.

“Think about the trips we will be able to go on…the house that we could buy together. The possibilities are endless babe.”

In the kitchen Catherine had just handed Peggy a cup of tea. “I can’t thank you enough for driving all the way back here like this.”

“It was nothing darling. I figured you would probably have needed it. I couldn’t imagine being without my bloody calendar book.”

“I keep a lot of important phone numbers in the back too. I keep telling myself that I need to transfer them to the larger phone book that I keep here at the house, but I have yet to accomplish that.”

Peggy carefully removed the tea bag from the cup and placed it down on the napkin nearby. She leaned inward and started to whisper in Catherine’s direction, “So…how did things go?”

Catherine glanced towards the living room, then walked around the island and took a seat on the high stool beside Mags. “There isn’t a thing that I could have said different. I did my best to explain some of the choices that I made…when I was in college and how they affected me.”

Catherine had Peggy’s full attention.

“I told her that the best thing that came from my marriage was her and Mark…that…if it weren’t for having kids, I wouldn’t have chosen the life I did.”

Peggy nodded in agreement, for she too chose a path that differed greatly from what her heart had hoped for.

“…I told her that I certainly had some regrets. That I would have loved the chance to have done it all over again…”

“Over again huh?”

“Yes.”

“What…would you have done different?” Peggy inquired, privately hoping to gauge what Catherine was thinking.

Catherine tilted her head as she studied Peggy’s beautiful eyes. “I would not have made choices based on what was expected of me…and I feel I lost a significant amount of myself in the process of doing so.”

Peggy formed a smile, then gently placed her hand over Catherine’s. “I understand that sentiment. A little different, my circumstances…as you already know, but…letting time pass by choosing a life based on the wrong reasons, is what we have had in common.”

Catherine allowed her thumb to slide over the top of Peggy’s hand, where she began to tenderly caress the top. “I’d like to think that…there are still quite a few good years left in me.”

Peggy felt herself express a hint of a moan at the suggestive words. The possibility of resuming a relationship with the one woman she had fallen hard for was a tantalizing possibility. A sense of youthfulness filled her veins as she felt the blood pump through them. 

“You certainly look as though you have plenty of life left in you Cookie,” Peggy responded with a hint of seduction.

Catherine felt her cheeks go warm. “Oh goodness…”

“Don’t you be getting all bashful on me now..”

#

“It isn’t as easy as that Eric.” Tina was frustrated by her inability to be heard. “It isn’t about time passing by. It’s about who I am, and…and what I am not.”

Eric looked perplexed. 

“I know, I know I sound like some confused little girl—“

“Tina, let me just show you the ring babe. If you see it, there isn’t any way you wouldn’t want to return to school flashing it about and bragging that you have your life all figured out.”

Tina dropped her head into her hands as she leaned on the top part of her legs. “You don’t get it!”

“Babe, just hear me out. You know how many other chicks your age would just love to know that their life is all set? I mean, by next year we will be in a terrific place! It’s what girls dig…the security of getting married, having babies…it’s so traditional.”

Eric reached into his jacket to pull out the ring when he felt the fury come down on him.

“Do you have any fucking clue how non-traditional I am?”

“Huh?”

Peggy and Catherine both found their attention directed towards the living room following the unanticipated volume and words that erupted.

“I’m a god damn lesbian Eric!”

Eric’s eyes widened. “What? Wh..” He couldn’t continue forming a sentence, the surprise silencing him.

Tina took a deep breath and took it down a few octaves. “I’m sorry. Those pictures…you found. That was my ex-girlfriend.” Tina looked over at Eric, who looked as if he was going to self implode.

“Well Cookie, that girl has a set of brass ovaries on her. You and I would have never had the guts to make such a bold announcement.”

“Hell Mags I don’t think I have yet to!”

Both women chuckled as they eavesdropped on the discussion from the safe distance of the kitchen.

“I knew it! I knew you had something a lot deeper with that girl,” Eric responded hastily. “Why? Why the hell did you lie about it Tina?”

“I didn’t lie Eric, we—“

“Were you fucking her while we were together?” Eric’s voice rose along with his anger.

In the kitchen, Catherine grabbed Mags’ arm as she made an attempt towards the living room to admonish Eric for his language and belittling accusation.


	153. Chapter 153

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter many have been waiting for.... ;)  
> Okay, maybe Donna the most! LOL

CHAPTER 153

“It’s something she has to do on her own Mags,” Catherine whispered. It made her feel good that Mags was willing to defend Tina. Accepting the children of the person you care deeply for can be an obstacle and challenge for some. Catherine felt lucky, for Tina had already given her blessing for Mags to enter her mother’s life, and by Mags’ actions it seemed that she was willing to look out for Tina as she would her own.

Mags placed her ass back on the stool and jerked her shoulder slightly, as if still offended by Eric’s insults. “Even if that girl was straight I would be telling her to find a better man than that discourteous fool!”

The discussion that had escalated into an obvious sparring between the young couple continued.

“You have no right to accuse me of that.”

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you answer me then? Did you fuck the girl while you and I have been together?!”

Tina felt her temper matching the growing heat in her face. “NO! I did NOT fuck her…”

“You’re lying.”

“We made LOVE! Big difference asshole.”

Mags and Catherine had difficulty containing their laughter.

“I knew it!” Eric stood from the sofa. “How many times huh? How many times did you step out on me?”

“Once…” Tine said, a bit more quietly. She wasn’t happy that she had cheated on Eric. It wasn’t something she had planned or ever thought she would do.

“Yeah, right.”

“It was once…”

“When?”

Tina didn’t want to get into any details. “Why does it matter when?”

“I have a right to know Tina.”

Tina buried her head into her hands. “This afternoon,” she muttered.

“What? I can’t hear you.”

Tina looked up, with tears coming down her face. “This afternoon okay?”

Eric closed his eyes tight as he shook his head. His anger clearly still peaked given the information that on this day, the day he was to propose, that his girl had cheated on him.

“You,” he pointed at her, his finger shaking from adrenalin. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You not only step out on me, but with a woman! You’re…”

“Stop it,” Tina warned.

“You’re nothing but a useless dyke. Your mother…she—“

“Don’t!” Tina stood from the sofa and stood right in front of Eric. “Don’t you dare step over that line mister.”

“She’s a bad example for you. Look at her! Look what she’s done....your father isn’t cold in the ground and she’s running around like some hussie.”

“You leave my mother out of it! Her life has no impact on my own, do you understand me?”

“I think it’s time you left,” came the firm voice from the entryway.

Eric turned around to find Peggy standing there with her arms folded.

“This hussie has heard enough guttural garbage spewing from your unwise lips.”

Eric expressed a sarcastic sigh before looking back towards Tina. “So this…this is the life you want huh?”

“It’s who I am Eric. I can choose to lie about it…hide what many might consider the worse of me, but I like to think it’s the best part of me. I didn’t choose this life. Hell I struggled for a while trying to understand it all myself. No matter how I slice it, I can’t help that I am more fulfilled emotionally and physically with a woman.”

Eric remained silent.

“It’s not a reflection of you okay? So please…don’t let your ego get all twisted. It’s about me. It’s about my trying like hell to be what my father expected, society…god, just about everything. Well I can’t do it. I tried. A few times and no matter how hard I try I can’t change what is, and what is is that I love women…and…well I understand now, after a lot of mistakes and missteps, that I have been fortunate to find my no other love.”

Eric decided he wasn’t going to stay to continue hearing any more justification of what he believed to be a ‘chosen’ path. He grabbed his jacket and headed towards the kitchen. Upon passing by Peggy, she threw a few callous words his way.

“I suggest you try a little harder to please the women you take to bed…who knows how many women will go gay after sleeping with you if you don’t.”

Tina’s brows arched and Catherine turned towards the sink to hide her laughter. Eric wasn’t about to challenge the sturdy, bold woman. Instead he passed by her and continued out the kitchen door.

#

Bette carefully placed the box back onto the top shelf of her closet. As she turned back towards her bed, she started to give thought to the idea of returning back to school the next day, rather than wait another week. The intent of staying in the area was to be available to support Tina, but with Eric clearly her best friend, lover and soon to be lifetime mate, she didn’t feel there was much need for her presence. Staying in Los Angeles was only going to further her pain. It would be better to hit the road first thing in the morning. The more she thought about it, the more sense it was making.

As she started to get her things together, there was a subtle knock at her bedroom door. With evident lack of enthusiasm, she opened it without looking at who was standing there.

“What are you doing dear?” Her mother stepped into the bedroom, surprised to see Bette’s suitcase on top of her bed.

“I figured that I would head back to school a little sooner, ya know?”

“Really? Why is that?”

“I have things to get in order there…buy my school books for this semester, get settled in…you know, those things.”

“Oh. I was thinking of trying to organize a family dinner…depending on your father’s schedule of course.”

“That sounds nice Mom, but I would really like to get back there. I’m sorry…I hope your not disappointed.” Bette waited for her mother’s response, hoping to receive more understanding than anything else.

“I understand honey. But…”

“But?”

“Promise me that you will try to get down here a little more often than you did last year huh? I miss my baby girl.”

Bette felt her mother’s arms surround her, something that she always felt safe within. “I promise Mom.”

“Good. That’s all I can ask. Before you go, I want you to come with me…I have something to show you.” 

Her mother grabbed hold of her hand and lead her to the attic, a place where she would get lost in hours of painting. When Bette was younger, she would enjoy watching her mother as she painted. The peaceful presence that would take over her face was something she never forgot, not ever. It was what first drew her to that form of art. The peace that seemed to surround the artist when they were in the midst of creating.

“I had been working on this for a little while. I haven’t shown a soul…” 

Bette’s eyes focused on the easel as she walked closer to the canvas that sat upon it. When she stood in front of it, her eyes widened. “It…it’s beautiful.”

“Thank you. It took me all summer to paint.”

“The colors…amazing.”

“It’s my version of dream catching…on canvas. It’s the filling of one’s soul with love…with peace and happiness…laughter…and a joy like nothing else. Such a freedom within to watch love grow on the canvas.”

Bette stared at the unidentified images before her. “It’s strange. You can’t really see anything when you first look, but if you give it time…you begin to see things you hadn’t.”

“Isn’t that what life is all about? Sometimes we just don’t see things that are right in front of us, but time has a way of sorting it all out for us.”

Bette gave those words some thought. If only Tina could begin to see…if only.

“Here…I want you to have this.” 

When her mother lifted the painting from the easel and handed it to her, Bette felt a lump grow in her throat. Her mother was the first artist Bette had come to adore. There were only a few isolated canvases which were framed and hung on a wall or two of their home, as her father had been quite picky about things “matching” the décor appropriately. 

“Wow…are you sure Mom?” Bette’s eyes bounced between the canvas to her mother’s.

“Absolutely Bette. It’s one of the special things that we both share, the appreciation for art. This is something that I want you to always have with you, as not just a reminder of my love, but the potential of what you can obtain in your life.”

Bette held the painting close to her as she give her mother a hug with her one free arm. “Thank you Mom. I’ll cherish it always.”


	154. Chapter 154

CHAPTER 154

Catherine walked into the living room, where Tina had retreated back to the sofa. Mags remained in the kitchen, giving Catherine the chance to be alone with her daughter.

“Honey…are you okay?”

Tina nodded, wiping the streaks of tears from the cheeks of her face. Her mother wrapped her arm around her shoulder, and pulled her in close. “I’m sorry that he was so ignorant to you.”

“It’s not your fault Mom.”

“I know, but it’s not how I like to see my daughter treated.”

“I know.”

“It was hard…to stand back and let you handle it on your own.”

“I’m glad you did though,” Tina said with appreciation. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to get in the middle and then have him flinging mud at you. It’s bad enough that he was an ass to me, but it really would have hurt me more if he had attacked you.”

Catherine leaned in close to her daughter. “I’m thinking a certain someone else wouldn’t have let that happen,” she said with confidence.

Tina looked at her mother, forming a small grin as she did. “Yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

“She was really funny, what she said to him.”

“I was choking back the laughter when I was standing at the sink. Thank goodness he departed rather quickly.”

“Where is she now?” 

“She’s in the kitchen. She wanted to give us some time.”

“That was nice of her.”

“I know,” Catherine replied. She was on cloud nine all evening during dinner, and even more so now as she saw Mags being prepared to quickly spring into action when it came to defending her and her family.

“It seems like she really adores you Mom.”

“I’m kinda thinking that too Tina, and…it feels wonderful.”

Tina looked away, thinking about Bette. “I remember feeling adored…loved.”

“To say that it’s never too late would be a lie, because sometimes when we wait too long…we do risk losing something great. Other times we are fortunate enough to find that we haven’t missed our chance, and that there is time left. Don’t wait too long Tina. If you love Bette as much as I think you do, and you don’t want to lose her, then you need to seize the moment now and let her know what is in your heart.”

“I’m not so sure that Bette is prepared to accept me Mom.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

Tina shook her head, disappointed with herself. “Oh Mom, if you only knew. Bette never really ever left me…ya know? I mean, I’m no dummy. I knew it broke her heart when I told her I needed to find myself…when I dated Johnny, I…hell that was even harder. Then it seemed like I just never got my shit together. How on earth could I expect that she would be open to trying again?”

“Love is an amazing thing Tina. It can turn the weak into the strong, the timid into the boldest, and it can be long lasting…” Catherine looked towards the kitchen, “so long lasting honey.”

“I just can’t imagine why she should trust that I’m not going to mess things up again.”

“Because, if she loves you Tina, then she will do all she can to let you prove that you can be trusted. You are young…and so is Bette. You aren’t going to get it all right the first time around.”

“Do you think I’m too young to really know what love is Mom?”

Catherine smiled. “They say you’re never too ‘old’ to know what love is, but young? I can’t say for sure how young is young, but I can say that at the age of twenty, which you will be turning in a few months, you have a really good idea.”

Tina gave her feelings some thought. “I know that I can’t imagine myself living without Bette in my life…and…not just as a friend, ya know?”

In her heart, Catherine knew that Tina and Bette shared something that was most unique. Young love didn’t mean it wasn’t true love. “Then you do all you can to hold onto it. Don’t ever take the chance of losing her again if you think she is the one who makes you most happy.”

“She is…oh Mom she sure is.” It surprised Tina how sure she was. The relief she felt in her own skin because of letting go of the promise and all expectations, she was only left to feel the genuine truth. The truth was, she loved Bette Porter with all her heart. She always did.

Tina looked at her watch then quickly rose from the chair. “Mom, can I borrow your car?”

“Of course you can,” she smiled, knowing full well just where her daughter was headed. “They are on the kitchen counter.”

For a young woman who had just broken up with her boyfriend, and whom avoided a proposal for marriage, she was one happy lady. She hugged her mother tight. “Thank you Mom…so much.”

“For what?” Catherine acted modest.

“For one thing, being the incredible mother that you are.” Tina quickly placed a kiss on her mom’s cheek and rushed to the kitchen. “Maggie, thank you so much.”

Peggy sat stoic on the stool. “Me?”

“Yes you. You make my mother happy…very happy.”

Peggy felt herself blush, something she didn’t do often. “She’s a lovely woman.”

“I know, and…well you both best not screw things up this time around,” Tina warned before taking hold of her mom’s keys.

Catherine placed a hand on Peggy’s shoulder and joined her in the subtle laughter that emerged from Tina’s words of advice.

“I’ll do my best not to Tina,” Peggy replied as she wrapped her arm around Catherine’s waist. “I have a lot of years to make up for.”

Catherine stared down at Peggy, her eyes twinkling with love, hope and happiness.

“Oh crap…I forgot something.” Tina ran upstairs to her room. She opened the closet door abruptly and quickly scanned the bottom for the box. There it was, in the corner where she had left it a few years ago. It didn’t take her long to find what she was looking for. She grabbed the sealed envelope and slid it into her pants pocket then quickly ran back downstairs.

“Bye Mom, I love you.” Tina departed before she could hear her mother respond.

“I love you too honey.”

Peggy shifted on the stool, parting her legs slightly so Catherine could step between them. When she did, it felt so right to be so close. Catherine’s hands passed up and down the sides of Peggy’s arms, as Peggy’s hands came to a rest on her waist.

“So Ms. Benson….what are you doing for the rest of your life?”

“Benson? My god I haven’t been referred to that since—“

“Before you got married?” Peggy finished.

“Yes, before I got married.”

Catherine and Peggy stared into one another’s eyes. The distance between their faces was growing slimmer as each woman inched closer to the other. When they were just an inch from their lips touching, Catherine slipped her hands along both sides of Peggy’s face and pulled her in for a delicate kiss. 

When their lips parted, each moaned the instant they felt the other’s tongue sweep against their own. It had been years since they had kissed liked this, but the years couldn’t erase the bodily response each drew from one another when their bodies met.

Catherine could feel her nipples harden, something she hadn’t felt for some time, and when they did it was usually a result of a rather stunning looking woman on television and she was forced to hide the response. This time, there would be nothing to hide. This was a love that didn’t need to be concealed. No, this was a love whose veil could be put away for a very long time.

Their hands were tentative. Their minds in overdrive; the want…the need…the passion all consuming. The spark was ignited. The question was, would they force it to smolder and wait a little longer? Or…would they fan the flames of desire until it created an inferno?


	155. Chapter 155

CHAPTER 155 

Bette stood before the painting and began tracing the delicate strokes which her mother had carefully placed on the canvas. She had propped it up against the mirror on her dresser where the lamp could illuminate it properly, still taken by the images that came to life. Her mother’s art wasn’t appreciated very much by her father, thus the reason her mother formed her creations in the attic. It was something she had wished her father took an interest in, but it never did seem to come. She was glad that she shared something so personal with her mom.

#

Tina felt her heart begin to race as she got closer to Bette’s house. Would she honestly believe her when she professed her feelings? She knew Bette loved her very much, but was she still willing to take a chance with her again? It wasn’t that long ago that she asked Bette to pretty much deny they knew one another. How on earth could someone still hold strong feelings for a person who asked that of them?

Tina’s fears began to cloud her mind. So many ‘what if’s’ began to play out, the same type of questions she was sure that Bette must have had play in her mind a million times over. What if Bette was through with feeling jerked around? What if she jumped at the idea of getting back together, only to find that it was just lust that had lingered and not love? The what if’s…then there were the if’s just by themselves…

If she could go back…if she could do it all over…if she could have just been strong enough sooner rather than later, there never would have been so many tears shed or hearts broken.

When she pulled into the driveway, she could see a light illuminating the bedroom which was Bette’s. It was late…very late, but it didn’t appear that Bette was sleeping yet. She quickly grabbed hold of her phone and called her.

#

Bette was surprised to see Tina’s name on her caller ID. She took a deep breath, assuming that it was a call that would provide her with the details of how Eric proposed.

“Hello.”

“Hey.” Tina felt the adrenalin rush through her body. It flowed so freely now, now that the pressure of expectation was unchained from her soul. 

Bette was scared. This call would be the final slice…the final piece that would change her life forever. She would do her best to be friends with Tina, of course she would, however hard Eric would likely make it. At the same time, it wasn’t going to be easy to settle into a friendship with a woman who is the love of her life.

“Hey Tee.”

“Go to your window.”

“Huh?”

“Go to your bedroom window.”

Bette was confused, but did what was asked. As she parted the curtain, she looked down at her driveway where she found Tina leaning against her mom’s car. “What are you doing?”

“Can I come up?”

“Sure.”

“Good. I didn’t want to just ring the doorbell. I figured everyone was sleeping.”

“I’ll be down.”

Both Bette and Tina flipped their phones shut. Both had very different thoughts; one more confused, the other more nervous.

When Bette opened the front door, she was met with beautiful eyes. A short silence developed before Tina asked if she could come in. 

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Tina whispered. “Do you think we can go to your room to talk?”

“Uh…yeah.” 

Bette closed the door behind Tina, then followed her up the stairs and to her room. Once inside, Tina was greeted by some soft Barry Manilow music. She formed a small smile, for it was the CD that they both use to listen to quite a bit when they hung out at Bette’s house while they were in high school.

“Still can’t let Barry go huh?”

Bette forced a smile. “I guess not.” She hadn’t felt so scared in her life as she did in that moment. A million questions had started going through her head from the moment she had parted the curtain to find Tina standing in her driveway. It must really be bad news if she had come in person. She couldn’t possibly be asking her to be in the wedding party could she? 

Tina’s eyes focused on the two suitcases on top of the bed. “What are you doing?”

Bette’s eyes followed Tina’s. “I…well I was thinking of getting an earlier start back to school.”

Tina felt her expression grow tense. “Why?”

It was hard for Bette to talk about her feelings. Tina had been one of the very few that was able to pull that sense of ease from Bette, which allowed her a willingness that didn’t exist with other people. It had been a while though, and so Bette had slipped back into that safer place where her thoughts and feelings were more reserved.

“I don’t know…just thought that it would be a good idea to get myself settled back in ya know?”

Tina’s disappointment couldn’t be hidden. “Oh.”

“Well, I just figured that … I wouldn’t…” Bette was struggling. In the past, she could finish the sentence with ease. With a year and then some which had passed, that ease had dissipated. Yet, with Tina in front of her, it felt like her emotions and logic were in a fierce battle of tug of war. 

“You wouldn’t what?” Tina urged.

“Nothing.”

“No Bette…talk to me.” Tina took a step closer, leaving less personal space between them.

It was always that way which she said “talk to me” that made her come undone. In those words and how they were articulated, was a genuine request which included a hint of passion.

Bette took a step backward when she felt the edge of the mattress touch her calves. She sat down on the bed and pulled her eyes from Tina’s. She looked down at her lap and forced herself to continue sharing the rest. “I figured I wouldn’t be needed here anymore.”

Tina twisted her brows at the mere thought. “How could you think that Bette?”

The brunette looked up to find Tina taking a few steps towards the bed. She kneeled on the floor, pushing Bette’s legs apart until she was kneeled between them. She rested her forearms on the top of Bette’s thighs. “Why? Why would you feel that Bette?”

Bette brought her eyes from Tina’s and looked down at her hands which were upon her legs. “I figured…” It was then that she noticed there wasn’t an engagement ring on Tina’s finger. “Where is the ring?”

Tina looked down at her finger, then looked back up as she shook her head. “It didn’t happen.”

“Not tonight?”

“Not ever.”

Bette felt her heart skip a beat. What did that mean? Not ever….such a solid statement.

“I don’t understand.”


	156. Chapter 156

CHAPTER 156

Peggy felt breathless. “You know, you really shouldn’t start something which you don’t intend to finish,” she warned, resting her hands around Catherine’s waist.

Catherine brushed a stray strand of hair from Peggy’s face as she looked down at her. “I don’t think having sex here in my kitchen would be quite wise.”

Peggy had remained on the kitchen stool as they both indulged in a variety of kisses and stolen touches. “True…I wouldn’t want one of your children to find us in such a compromising position.”

“Uh huh.” Catherine hadn’t felt such a strong draw towards intimacy as she did in this moment. She felt sexy. She felt desired. She felt things she had not felt in years.

“However,” Peggy continued. “We could perhaps…take this somewhere else.”

Catherine arched a brow, matched with her illustrious smile. “Oh yeah? Where do you suppose that be?”

Peggy slid her hands up Catherine’s back. “I don’t know…I would imagine it wouldn’t be quite respectful to take this to your bedroom.”

It wasn’t something Catherine would have been comfortable with, for it had been a bed she shared with Jerry for decades. In fact, it was likely she may buy a new bedroom set all together. She had loved her husband, and it wasn’t his fault that she made the decisions she did. However, in her heart there was a comfort level which wouldn’t exist if she were to bring this loving relationship into the bed they had shared.

“I don’t think it would be for the best to do that.”

“I understand.”

“I’m sorry Mags.”

“Shhh…there isn’t anything to be sorry about.”

“What about your place?” Catherine suggested.

“Normally it wouldn’t be a problem. However…my daughter is spending a few days there while her apartment gets painted.”

“Ah, well that’s okay.” A naughty smile grew from the corner of Catherine’s mouth. “You know…there is always the pull out sofa.”

Peggy dropped her head back as she roared with laughter. “You are not serious love.”

“I am. Why not?”

“In the middle of the bloody living room?”

“You know Mags, there was a time the tiger in you would do it just about anywhere.”

Peggy smirked. ‘Well dear…that was just…so long ago.”

As Catherine stood between Peggy’s legs, she reached forward and brought her fingers to Peggy’s ears, carefully unclasping her earring. “Well…maybe you need to start living on the wild side a little more.”

Peggy was taken by Catherine’s assertiveness. “You think so?”

“I know so.” With each piece of jewelry that Catherine removed, she could see Peggy slowly coming undone.

“Cookie…” Peggy grabbed Catherine’s hand as she undid the buttons on the silk cuff of her sleeve. “Tina…she could come home any minute.”

Catherine shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

“You can’t know for sure.”

“I know the strength of love Mags. She has gone to make things right with the love of her life. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that she won’t be sleeping back here tonight.”

“But…you can’t know for sure.”

“Trust me,” Catherine said as she pulled her hand free from Peggy’s and began unbuttoning the other cuff.

#

“What do you mean ‘not ever’?” Bette repeated the question, prompting Tina to rise from the floor and sit beside her.

“I couldn’t do it Bette.”

Bette felt a large sense of relief, but still kept herself guarded. “What happened?”

Tina snaked her hand through her hair, allowing it to drop back to her face as she put the afternoon and night into words. 

“After we made love, it had just…it was incredible. It was always incredible, don’t misunderstand, but … I don’t know Bette, I suppose I had begun to settle into what I was getting and how it was feeling from a man. When we were intimate earlier, it brought back everything…how it use to be and what I’ve been missing....even more, I realized what I would be missing out on for the rest of my life.”

Bette listened intently. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but it was like music to her ears.

“I then had this long conversation with my mother. She explained how much she felt she had settled for when she chose to do what others expected of her. I always thought she was happy ya know?”

“Yeah, I guess you didn’t know what she had walked away from.”

“Exactly. Of course what I saw throughout my life was what I thought happiness was. I always thought my mother was feeling life was good. It wasn’t until I saw her interact with Mags like I have a few times already that I see this huge difference Bette. Tonight, she came in after being with Mags and she was…glowing. I know, so dumb right?”

Bette shook her head. “No…it isn’t…not at all.”

“Seriously though, she was. It was like, here is this woman I have known all my life who has this whole new look to her face. There is a difference when you are in love, and I can see it in my mom’s face Bette. It’s crazy that I’ve known her all my life and wouldn’t have known that she wasn’t really as happy as she could be until now. It’s been such a powerful thing to witness.”

“I’m sure it has been Tee. Love is an amazing feeling. It makes you feel incredibly complete when you find that right one, and … it can feel so lonely when you are separated from that person.”

Tina felt herself begin to lose a sense of self as Bette spoke.

“I don’t care how powerful people’s influences are, or their expectations. Love is stronger than anything else…than hate....jealousy…envy…all of it. It surpasses every other emotion one can ever feel.”

“Totally…and that is kind of what Mom said. She told me that it was selfish for my father to want me to promise him something that only he really wanted. It had nothing to do with me or what I wanted, or what was in ‘my’ heart. I’m not used to being selfish Bette, so it was hard to really be able to accept what Mom was saying. Then when Eric came back to the house after leaving in a hissy fit, things got a little ugly and…he just…he just cornered me-“

“What?!” Bette’s gander got up and she interrupted Tina without a second thought. “What do you mean he cornered you?”

“Not literally, relax babe.” Tina smiled coyly at the brunette who was quick to defend her. “He just was shoveling his bigotry around and throwing my father’s promise in my face. I finally just shouted it out to him, and apparently my mother and Mags who were in the kitchen, that I am a lesbian.”

Bette started to laugh. “Really?”

“Uh huh.” Tina stood from between Bette’s legs and sat next to her on the bed.

Those words of admission was the best thing Bette had heard in a very long time. “Are you sure?”

Tina rolled her eyes as she laid back on Bette’s bed. “My god that is a dumb question Porter.”

Bette lay back against the comforter and turned to face Tina. “Why is it so dumb? I’m just trying to figure you out Kennard. One day you’re gay…next day your straight…next day your gay again…next day your bisexual.”

Tina propped herself on her side to face Bette. “I know…I know you have to feel pretty scared and insecure that I’m going to change my mind.”

Bette remained quiet. It was true…she was scared. Very scared.

Tina brought her hand to the side of Bette’s face, allowing her thumb to trace her jaw line. “Babe, I’m sorry. You have every right to be concerned, and I understand it will take some time for me to prove how much I love you, and that I’m not going anywhere.” Tina’s thumb slid across the top of Bette’s upper lip. “I’ve never stopped loving you Bette. I just did a really good job of ignoring those feelings…placing them safely on paper. I want to be a part of your life again…if you still want me that is.”


	157. Chapter 157

CHAPTER 157

Catherine felt like a college girl once again as she began removing the sofa cushions.

“Cookie, this just…it is irrational to be making love on a pull out sofa.” Peggy looked around, feeling the area to be too open and rather unromantic…especially if one of the children came home.

“Oh Mags you so need to take a walk on the wile side babe,” Catherine said as she eagerly grabbed for the strap which would pull the bed out. “Come on, help me.”

Peggy’s lack of enthusiasm showed as she slowly approached the sofa. “We can stay at any 5 star hotel you prefer. I know people Cookie. We can be there in no time.”

Catherine arched a brow at Peggy, then looked towards the sofa. Reluctantly, Peggy reached inside and grabbed hold of the edge of the frame. Together the women started to open the bed.

“Bloody hell!” Peggy screeched as an unexpected pair of underwear fell out onto the floor, followed by remnants of potato chips, dust, a coin and an old pen. “Oh no. There is no way in hell that I am…am…” Peggy’s hand reached for her throat as she grasped for words. “…going to consider placing my ass down on this!”

Catherine couldn’t help but laugh. She could tell by the style and size of underwear that it was Mark’s, which brought a whole other set of questions as to what his underwear was doing stuffed inside the sofa. “Mags, relax dear. All I have to do is brush the mattress off and place a nice fresh set of sheets.”

Peggy’s hand continued to linger at her throat. “Catherine, under no certain terms am I sleeping on this pull out bed, in the middle of your living room, where any one of your children can come walking in on us.”

Catherine could tell that she wasn’t going to win this one. “But…honestly Mags, we could—“

“Uh-uh…no. Now, let’s get a few things together and head to the Wilshire.”

“Wilshire, as in the Regent Beverly Wilshire?” Catherine must be incorrect. Peggy may have money, but that place was one of the most expensive if not THE most expensive L.A. hotels.

“Yes dear.”

“Do you realize how expensive that is?”

Peggy smiled, for Catherine had no clue just how wealthy she was. “Yes, I do. However, you get quite a bit for seventy-five hundred a night.”

Catherine felt the color disappear from her face. “What? You are kidding right?”

“Not at all.”

“There is no way I would feel comfortable with you spending that kind of money. We will wait…that’s all. I can make a point to look for a nice bedroom set…tomorrow.”

Peggy took a few steps towards Catherine, her stiletto’s clicking against the wood floor as she approached. “Cookie,” she said as she took her hands into her own. “I have spent many nights in fancy hotels, where my only intent was to attend an extravaganza which required my presence. They were lonely nights spent alone, with no one by my side. I understand that this may be an astronomical amount of money for some, but for me…dear it is nothing it all.”

Catherine knew that Peggy was wealthy, just not how much. “I…I don’t know,” her hesitation still present. She felt Peggy’s hand lift her chin, followed by the meeting of their eyes.

“Please…there is nothing I want more than to make love this evening. If…if it isn’t too soon for you.”

Catherine was aware that her husband had not been gone long at all. A part of her didn’t want to disrespect his memory, while another part of her knew that Jerry would never approve of this relationship no matter how long she waited. She was extremely attracted to Mags, and felt safe and secure in her company. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she was both willing and ready.

“Cookie?”

“I’m sorry. I would like that too.”

Peggy smiled as she leaned in, placing a tender kiss upon Catherine’s lips.

#

If she still wanted her. That was a question which Bette could answer without any hesitation. “Tina, it’s never been a question of whether I wanted you. God, I’ve always wanted you.”

Tina searched the eyes that were focused on her own. “I know you have. I’ve messed things up so bad. I need you to have faith in me Bette. To believe in me.”

Bette felt her eyes fill. “You have no idea how much I want to believe. I want it more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I’m so scared Tee. I can’t imagine letting down these walls that have grown. They are such a safety in my life. They help me to not feel as much as I know I am capable of. Yet, with you…those feelings are always bubbling…always trying to break that wall that holds them back. It’s such a fierce battle within myself.”

“Then please let the walls down. Give me that chance to show you that I am sure of myself and what I want Bette. I’ve spent enough time soul searching and trying to figure things out. I know that when I stripped myself from all the damn demands and expectations of everyone else, that I found a woman who has an incredible attraction to women and…and an incredible attraction to one in particular, one I am deeply in love with.”

Bette felt Tina’s hand wipe the tear that had slowly drifted down her cheek. She wasn’t just scared…she was terrified. A part of her was elated, but with that elation came fears that were overwhelming.

“What can I do?” Tina pleaded. “What is it that I can possibly do to prove to you that I want to be with you? Do you want me to see if I can get into your school to be closer? Do you want me to Uhaul it to your place, your apartment? Baby….please just tell me. Whatever it is, I swear I’ll do it.”

“Tee…I don’t want you to do anything but…but just be honest, and live your life as you want to live it. I don’t want to have expectations of what you can do to prove your love. You just freed yourself of expectations. I don’t want my own desires and wishes to be a driving force for you. Let your heart and your love be your compass.”

Tina rolled over onto Bette and straddled her. “My heart and my love is telling me that right now, I want us to make love…not rushed…not with sticks and leaves under our ass…but…in the comfort of your bed here.”

Bette felt her inhibitions tested. Tina’s hands grabbed at her shirt and pulled it up from her body and over her head. She did the same with her own, then reached behind her back and unclasped her bra with one swift pinch. As the straps fell free from her shoulder, Tina slipped it off and discarded it to the floor. She looked down at Bette, with the most sincere expression. “I love you Bette Porter.”

“I love you too Tina,” Bette replied as she stared back at the eyes which were upon hers. “I want us to be sure. I don’t want to make love out of reaction or … impulsive emotions.”

“Do you think that’s what this is?”

“I’m not sure. I just know that when we are intimate again, I’d like us to be really sure of it.”

It was hard for Bette not to give in to the attraction she felt, but she was right. In order for her and Tina to really start fresh, they should take a step back and take things slowly. They were young, they had time. The pace would also allow Bette a better chance at lowering all the walls around her heart. The more time Tina spent with Bette, the more ease and trust would return.

Tina kissed Bette’s lips then pulled away, remaining only inches from her face. “I know you want to feel safe again…feel sure that I’m not going anywhere. I think you are right, that we should take this slow.”

Bette studied Tina’s face. “Are you upset?”

“No babe…I’m not upset. You have every right to want to slow things down.”

“It’s just that today…when we were in the woods…it was such a reaction. I don’t want that anymore Tina. I want to be your choice, not just your reaction.”

Tina nodded as she reached for her bra and began putting it back on. “So…are you like going to ask me out on a date or something?”

Bette smirked. “Is that what you want?”

“Well…if we want to rebuild our relationship and make it right, then I think maybe we need to do that.”

Tina pulled her shirt over her head and pulled it over her jeans before moving her legs so she was now sitting beside Bette.

“Okay…well…we won’t have much time before school starts, but what about tomorrow night? What are you doing?” Bette pulled her shirt over her head as she waited for Tina’s answer.

“Hmm…I don’t believe I have a thing on my calendar. In fact….I think I’ve cleared it for quite some time.”

Tina grabbed her phone and texted her mother, saying she would be spending the night at Bette’s, then molded her body against Bette’s. They had often used sex as a means of repairing things when they were slipping. The incredible bonding that took place when their bodies became one, was something special and the feelings of connectedness couldn’t be ignored. This time however, it was more about other actions which would prove their commitment to one another and rebuilding their relationship on a healthier foundation, rather than jumping immediately into the deepest form of intimacy.

Both women felt extremely comfortable sharing this moment which was intimate in itself. The warmth of their bodies as they cuddled was reassuring. In between their spurts of conversation, they shared a tender kiss and a gentle squeeze, reaffirming their connection.


	158. Chapter 158

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Glad you enjoyed Living on Empty...this story continues and I will be posting a new one fresh off the press hopefully this evening.

CHAPTER 158

Catherine couldn’t believe the beauty of the suite they had found themselves in. “I feel so underdressed,” she remarked, prompting a laugh from Peggy, considering it wasn’t likely they would be in their current attire for long.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Everything about the room was five star, from the duvet cover to the lighting which strategically pulled the colors from the paintings that adorned the walls. The gas fireplace was two sided, allowing a view from the bedroom and the fancy bathroom.  
The marble flooring, walls, and steps which framed the jacuzzi was exquisite. The towels were warmed by heated towel racks, and a high silver champagne bucket had been placed by the jacuzzi along with two champagne flutes and a bottle already chilled.

“This is just…amazing.” Catherine had always heard of this hotel, but never had she experienced it. 

Peggy’s happiness grew with Catherine’s growing awe. 

“Still….it’s so pricey,” Catherine admitted once more. When the cell phone alerted her to an incoming text message, she smiled wide. “Well, I guess I know my daughter well. She said that she would be staying at Bette’s house.”

“You are good.”

“I know!” Catherine joked.

Peggy removed her shoes and placed them on the floor by the bed. She watched as Catherine’s eyes continued taking in every bit of luxury before her. She was content, knowing that Catherine was appreciating the room and what she was privy to. When Catherine opened the slider and stepped out onto the balcony, Peggy joined her.

Catherine felt two hands begin gently massaging her shoulders. “When you are up this high, you feel so distant from all the busy bodies below,” came the voice from behind.

“It’s incredible Mags. The city lights…the traffic. Each person is headed or returning from somewhere. There are some people working the night shift in some of those big buildings…others have gone home for the night. It’s such a vast world.” Catherine turned to face Peggy. “Yet, it can be such a small world too…considering our good fortune of having our paths cross once again.”

Peggy nodded and smiled. “If I didn’t look at the paper that afternoon, I’m not sure if we ever would have.”

“I know. I’m so grateful that you had.”

Peggy stared into Catherine’s eyes. “I am not much of a spiritual woman, but I have to admit that there had to be a higher power involved here.”

Catherine nodded her head in agreement. “Mags…I feel like a different woman. I know, you will probably think it’s quite silly of me, but I feel like Catherine Kennard was a fake…some play which I was playing in…not even the leading role, more of the supporting one. Taking nothing from my children of course, I just feel so different right now. I feel like every mask has been torn off, and I am now the person who I was born as. This weight has been lifted and the freedom is exhilarating. Does any of this make sense?”

Peggy nodded. “Yes dear, it does. I felt the same, for a long time. It’s hard to acknowledge that so many years have passed walking a path which was never your own. However, it’s not good to dwell on it. You must look forward from now on, and think about all the possibilities that lay ahead.”

Catherine placed her head against Peggy’s shoulder as she embraced her. The arms which surrounded her in return were comforting. “I would like for us to rekindle all that we once had, and do it right this time.”

“I second that,” Peggy replied. Her eyes witnessed the life that was passing by on the busy city streets below, while she was gearing up to take life by the horns and make up for all the lost time. 

Catherine pulled her head from Peggy’s shoulder and stared into her eyes. The crows feet which hadn’t been there in college had now framed the corners of her eyes. The lost years were evident; a reminder of what could never be reclaimed. She slid her hands alongside Peggy’s face and brought her lips to hers.

#

“Do you want to shower here?” Bette asked.

“I would love to Do you mind if I wear something of yours?”

“Not at all.”

“I won’t need panties or anything…” 

Bette smirked. “No huh?”

“Uh-uh,” Tina flirted.

“You’re not going to make this easy are you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The dating…the waiting.”

Tina leaned in and kissed Bette on the lips. “Baby, we are going to wait…but it doesn’t mean we can’t create a torturous build until that time right?”

Bette wiggled her brows. “You are something else you know that?”

“I know,” Tina said before hopping off Bette’s bed. “Are you going to shower with me too?”

Bette wasn’t prepared for such a question. “Do you think that’s wise?”

“Why not?”

“Do you think you can keep your hands off me? I mean…you know…it’s a hard thing for most woman you know,” Bette teased.

Tina placed her hand on her hip. “Bette, you and I both know that there won’t be any other woman’s hands on you. You’re all mine.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep,” Tina said as she grabbed hold of Bette’s hand, leading her to her bedroom door. “Um, we best not be bagged by your parents.”

“They are sleeping, we won’t. Plus, they have their own bathroom.”

Tina brushed a few curls from Bette’s face. “I can’t wait for you to claim me, and I you…” Her words trailed off as Bette took one step closer, prompting Tina’s back to touch the bedroom door. She could feel Bette’s breath near her ear.

“Do you think you can handle waiting?” Bette whispered.

Tina felt her heart begin to beat faster. Bette moved her face so her lips were no more than an inch from hers. “I…I don’t know.”

“Then maybe….” Bette spoke slowly, sweeping her lips lightly across Tina’s. “Maybe we should take separate showers.”

Tina felt the moisture build between her legs as her center tightened. “Uhm…it…this is…so incredibly fucking hard.”

“It’s hard…as it should be,” Bette noted with a hint of seduction.

Tina knew that there was no way in hell that they would be able to keep their hands off one another if they were both naked in the shower. As much as she wanted Bette, and knew the feeling was mutual, she had to do the right thing. Was this Bette’s way of testing her resolve? Her stature on her commitment? She reached deep, looking down slightly to avoid Bette’s lips from touching her own. “I think you should take a shower first…and then I’ll take one.”

Bette pulled back, enjoying how the teasing had gone. “I think that would be wise.”

Tina watched as Bette grabbed her robe from the back of her bedroom door. 

“I won’t be too long,” Bette said before she closed the door behind her.

“Okay.” Tina slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “I’ll be waiting…here.” Her voice trailed off, knowing that Bette hadn’t heard her words.

Tina retrieved the envelope from the pocket of her jacket and placed it on the bed near Bette’s pillow. She hoped the brunette would have an opportunity to read it when it was her turn to shower. In the meantime, she laid back and stared at the ceiling, feeling incredibly blessed for having another chance to amend things and rebuild this relationship which she knew was the most important one in her life.


	159. Chapter 159

CHAPTER 159

In the shower, Bette was lost in both the comfort of the warm water that was cascading down each curve of her body and the contentment of her resurrected relationship with Tina. It would be hard to be in a ‘dating’ phase, but she knew that it was what they both needed. They knew each other well, well enough than most who would already be in bed together. However, it was so important to Bette that she feel she could trust Tina’s words, as it was the only way she could risk devoting herself completely; heart and soul.

#

Tina could remember bits and pieces of what she had written in the letter. It was long ago…back when she was in therapy and struggling to come to terms with both her abuse and her sexuality. As a matter of fact, after giving it a little more thought, she was dating Johnny at the time. She knew that her emotions were raw, her feelings at the utmost surface, and that she spoke completely from her heart. Perhaps Bette might find some solace and reassurance knowing that all the while she was with Johnny, he never had her heart…for that had remained always in the safe hands of another…Bette Porter.

#

Peggy had drawn the bath then returned to the bedroom, finding Catherine standing before the large mirror on the wall with her blouse unbuttoned. Clearly she was evaluating her body, pausing on the few marks the unforgiving sun had taken possession of on parts of her skin. Her breasts were fine inside the cups that had given them their lift…but without it…they weren’t as firm or perky as they once were. Her hands slipped below each cup, feeling the elasticity that had recently developed over the past three years in particular.

Catherine’s eyes moved from her body to the image reflected behind her. She remained in one place as Peggy’s hands slipped around her waist. “You are absolutely beautiful love,” Peggy said reassuringly. 

Catherine hadn’t felt judged by Peggy, not in the least. It was her own minor insecurities which had started forming once it started to sink in that she would be sharing her body with her former lover. She dropped her hands over Peggy’s, weaving her fingers through hers. With a little more confidence, she guided Peggy’s hands to her breasts, squeezing them firmly against the satin bra that concealed them. Her eyes closed as she lost herself in images of the past which the present touch had given life.

Peggy brought her mouth to Catherine’s neck, kissing her skin and inhaling the scent of the woman she hadn’t been this close to in decades. The familiarity brought evidence of fates strength. Her hands casually slipped free of Catherine’s hold as she brought them around her sides and to her back, keeping them under Catherine’s shirt the entire time. Slowly she released the clasps that had bound her lovers’ breasts. 

“Are you okay Cookie?” Her question marked her tenderness and deep respect for this woman. 

Catherine nodded, her eyes focused completely on Peggy’s as she watched the hands move over her shoulders and take hold of each side of the blouse. Slowly Peggy’s hands brushed the blouse off each one until the garment fell to the ground. The bra remained, loosely covering each breast, Peggy once again looked for permission in the eyes which continued to reflect back at her in the mirror. Catherine nodded, offering an additional queue that she felt secure with showing her body to this person who she had held so much feeling for.

# 

Bette grabbed a towel and began wiping the residual water from her body before wrapping herself in her robe and returning to her bedroom. Tina had fallen asleep, her body closest to the wall which provided room for Bette to easily slip in beside her. The envelope that was resting against her pillow caught her eye. She carefully lifted it from the bed and sat down. She assumed it was a little note that Tina had just written while she was in the shower, perhaps an apology that she was tired and may not be awake once she had returned to the bedroom.

She glanced down at Tina, who had remained in a peaceful slumber, then carefully slid her finger beneath the flap of the envelope. Upon removing the letter, the date in the upper right corner had caught her attention. It was written well over a year ago. 

Dear Bette,

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to express how much I love  
you, or how much you have brought to my life. I’m sitting  
in my room having just returned from therapy. It was draining.  
I’ve always had you to share my inner most feelings with, especially  
when I returned from one of these therapy sessions. I know you  
struggled to understand, but you always gave me an ear to listen…a  
shoulder to cry on or just rest my weary head. 

I don’t know why I have needed answers; solid answers as to why I  
have such a strong attraction to women…to you. Perhaps it was that I  
needed to feel validated in some way, or…maybe it was more that I  
was more comfortable in my own skin if I could attribute my sexuality  
to a particular turning point in my life. To accept that I was born this  
way was against so much…especially…as you know, my father.

I’ve been trying so hard to please everyone Bette, and I’m aware that my  
attempts to do so, are at the expense of what I want. God, I am so  
easily manipulated by how other’s will view my being with a woman, that  
I’ve found that my own feelings have been pushed so deep. Will I ever  
have the courage and ability to live my life for myself? I hope to…really I  
do, and I can only hope that if fate should have it, that you would find  
yourself still deeply in love with me, as I have been…and still am… with   
you. I feel bad, because I know that there is a part that uses Johnny as   
some front for my parents, Dad in particular. Along the way, and  
especially since he learned of you and I, I lost my father. I can remember   
being a little girl who always looked up to him. His approval has meant  
the world to me Bette. I’ve never felt so torn in my entire life, between  
wanting to be all that “he” wants me to be, and … well, wanting to be  
me for me. 

Johnny doesn’t hold a candle to what we had. I feel bad, because he is a front.   
He isn’t what I want. He is what my father wants. He represents the traditional path   
that everyone has expected. Isn’t it better to just live a life which I could please my   
father and have is eternal approval? Can I honestly live a full life without it?

It tears my heart in two to imagine you with another woman. I know…selfish isn’t it?   
I fear that my own inability to choose life for myself will rob me of something that has   
meant more to me than life itself. Yet, has it really? If you have meant so much to me,   
as I have always said, then why on earth am I able to take such a huge risk of losing you   
to someone else forever? 

I’ve spent so much time in therapy trying to understand my ‘attraction’ and such, that perhaps   
I wasted valuable time. Had I had the courage to say ‘This is my problem…I want to be with a woman,   
help me to find a solution to this that I can live with…’ would it have made a difference if I was actively   
trying to pursue a life with you? As I sit here today, with you so far from my life, I tend to think so.   
I never set a goal…then again, maybe unconsciously I didn’t want to. The longer I left things unsaid in   
therapy, the more I didn’t need to face things. Then again, was my unspoken goal to ‘fix’ me so that I   
could walk a ‘traditional’ path? If that was the case, then I was not working towards walking on the road to you, but in a sense….away from you.

Bette…when you read this, there are things I want you to know that are so very important to me, for it may be   
my final letter to you. I love you. I love you with every bit of my existence. There isn’t a day that goes by that   
I don’t think of you, miss you, crave that ability to have my arms around you and yours around me. I often find   
myself daydreaming of those tender moments we shared kisses, touches, and our bodies together as one… nothing I   
have found so far can match that …nor do I expect it ever will. I read your love letters to me each and every night,   
and the more I read them, the more I realize how unique you are, and how truly special you are. Baby…you are my soul mate.   
I know in my life that there will never be another human being who will be able to come remotely close to everything I have   
felt by being with you. You are my no other love. I believe in that whole heartedly. Yet…look at me…I’m sitting in my room   
waiting for Johnny to pick me up. I cringe at the thought of his hand touching my thigh or worse while we are sitting in the   
back row of the movie theatre tonight. I so want it to be you. I am the one in control of my choices, my destiny….and yet tonight,  
my fears have controlled so much of me these past few months that…I’m going with him instead of you. I’m sorry Bette…I’m so   
sorry that I can’t find the strength to do what I want so much in my heart to do. I hope that one day, one day should I ever be able to…  
that destiny will pull us back together. I have so much hope and faith in my heart that fate will give us another chance. Oh, and if it   
should…if it ever should, I know that I could never lose you a second time. Never…you are my no other love…my first, my last, my forever.   
You and the love we shared will live forever in my heart. 

_My No Other Love_

_She looks at me, and her eyes fill me in ways I’ve never known  
She smiles at me, and soon I find a smile upon my face has grown  
She kisses me, and her tender lips create a seal of love and affection  
She touches me, her skillful hands moving which catches my attention_

_Will she ever know how deep my love for her has become?  
Will she ever understand how my soul aches at the thought of us undone?  
Will I be able to live with the decisions of my life?  
Will I be able to watch as someone else becomes her wife?_

_She is my first, my last, my forever…she is…my “no other love.”_

_I love you Bette Porter….I always will._

_Love,  
Tee_

Bette’s eyes had filled with tears. During what had been one of the hardest times of her life, a time when she felt she had lost Tina and that the young woman she had fallen in love with had fallen out of love with her…never really did. She wiped the stray tears that fled the confines of her lids, then carefully folded the letter and returned it to it’s envelope.


	160. Chapter 160

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday to everyone! Hope you enjoy these next couple of chapters...

CHAPTER 160

Catherine closed her eyes the very moment Peggy’s hands cupped her breasts. Time couldn’t steal one moment from them now, and if they could help it…not ever. The feeling of such soft hands against each breast caused Catherine to whimper slightly. “Mmmm…your hands…”

Like Catherine, Peggy’s eyes had closed as she reveled in the opportunity that was before her. The memories of yesterday flooded her mind, recalling the young love which they had shared decades earlier and how beautiful life was to offer them a second chance to be together again. Peggy slid her hands down Catherine’s side, gently turning her to face her. Her eyes stole a glance at the bare breasts before her, “you remain breathtaking darling.”

A smile formed as Catherine felt herself become a bit shy. 

“Why don’t you undress me,” Peggy suggested, her words laced with desire. “I would enjoy that very much.”

Catherine brought her fingers to the front of Peggy’s blouse where she began to slowly release each button. As her fingers descended to the next one, Peggy felt the occasional brush of slender fingers that had once grazed her abdomen on many occasions. “I’ve missed you Cookie.”

“I’ve missed you too Mags,” Catherine sighed.

Peggy helped herself out of her blouse, and took a moment to lay it just right over the corner chair, causing Catherine to chuckle at what she viewed as somewhat ridiculous of an action considering the moment that was underway.

“What?” Peggy’s question came as she turned to find Catherine smiling.

“You…your organization and need to keep everything in its proper order and place.”

“Some things never change I guess,” Peggy quipped. “You never complained when such ‘order’ allowed me the benefit of promptly retrieving an old term paper that I let you copy.”

Catherine’s smile intensified as she tilted her head to the side, relishing in the fact that each had the ability to reflect on a previous memory. “So true.”

Peggy reached behind herself, preparing to release her bra when Catherine quickly stepped forward. “I believe that we agreed that I would undress you.” She pushed Peggy’s hand away allowing her own to swiftly unclasp the lace bra that hid her lovers breasts.

#

Bette stared at Tina as she slept. If there had been a sliver of a doubt as to where Tina’s feelings had always been…had remained…there wasn’t any longer. She felt both blessed and grateful that Tina was now willing to make that solid decision to be with her, and looked forward to forming some goals for their future. While it was still important to her that they take things slow, and rebuild what they had once shared, it was obvious that it wouldn’t take as long as she first thought, for this letter held so much feeling for Bette…it held love…truth…devotion…fate.

She reached forward to brush a strand of blonde hair from Tina’s face, taking comfort in the fact that she was able to lay beside her and do something as minor as that. It was those smaller things that held so much meaning, perhaps more meaning this time than the very first time she had ever done them. There was definitely a deeper appreciation and value associated with almost everything they shared now. In some ways, starting over was proving to be one of the best things that could have happened to them. Though it had only be a few years earlier in which they had first begun seeing one another, the passing of high school and first year of college had offered an incredible appreciation of one another. Some might say they were still not old enough to understand love, that real deep love, but Bette knew better. In herself, she was able to see the transition from a young adult to a woman. She didn’t rely as much on her family, and was active in making a lot of her own decisions. Though she was a bit ahead of Tina in some of those ways, Tina was now embarking on that same road and together she was sure they would conquer anything that came their way.

Tina stirred, slowly opening an eye to find Bette laying down next to her. “What time is it?”

“It’s late…early morning actually.”

“How long have you been in bed?” Tina reached for Bette’s curls which were still wet.

“Not too long.”

“I was so tired. I tried to stay awake, but my body wouldn’t let me.”

“It’s okay. You can take a shower in the morning if you like.”

“Do you mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

“You will be sleeping with a stinky person,” Tina joked.

Bette chuckled. “No…not at all.”

Though the room was only lit by a glimmer of moonlight that penetrated the sheer curtains, Tina could see something different in Bette’s eyes. “What is it?”

“What?”

“What are you thinking?”

“How much I love you.”

Tina glanced at the pillow, then raised her body slightly to look where the envelope had gone.

“Are you looking for the envelope?”

“You read it didn’t you?” Tina believed she was right, for the security and hope in Bette’s eyes was clear that she had.

With one nod Bette affirmed she had read the note. “It…was beautiful Tee.”

“I meant every word of it Bette…then…and now.”

Bette nodded in agreement. “I believe that.”

“Do you really…honestly?”

“I do.” Bette took hold of Tina’s hand by lacing her fingers through the blondes. “When I think of where you were in your life when you wrote all you did…the picture you were painting outwardly with Johnny and how certain you had seemed to come across…to everyone outside, I don’t know…I suppose reading this was like delving into your soul. It was really, really touching.”

Tina smiled, her expression awkward as she felt both happiness and relief. “You didn’t think it was too corny or anything?”

“No, not at all.”

“I couldn’t remember everything that was in it, I just knew that my emotions were so raw, honest…and my willingness to share everything I was feeling in that moment was something I had to put down on paper to you.”

This surprised Bette. “You didn’t read it again?”

Tina shook her head. “No, I had written it and…well I sealed it up that day.”

“When were you going to give it to me?”

Tina shrugged. “I wasn’t really ever sure. I just had to write everything down. There was a homework assignment in therapy that I had to do, and it was to write letters to those in my life who I felt I couldn’t express myself to.”

“And I was one?”

“When we were together, I never had a problem expressing myself. When we weren’t together as a couple, and I was struggling with the direction I was going to take, I then found that I couldn’t express myself. Maybe I felt I just didn’t have a right to, after putting you through so much. Originally the assignment was meant for my father. I just took it a little further. I guess I figured that it would be a little therapeutic to write you a letter about what was really inside of me.” Tina kissed the back of Bette’s hand. “You have no idea how many times I wanted to give that letter to you. I suppose that as time passed, and I couldn’t bring myself to make up my mind which path I was going to follow….it became harder and harder to think I ever would. It just seemed incredibly right to do so now.”

Bette leaned in close and slipped her hand along side Tina’s jaw bone until her fingers snaked through the silky blonde hair. “You can’t imagine how happy that letter made me, and how much I felt every word you wrote.”

Tina closed her eyes the moment Bette’s lips touched her own. The soft and tender skin that easily merged with hers was both comforting and arousing. Bette sought permission with her tongue; an approval came quickly.


	161. Chapter 161

CHAPTER 161

The bath they shared had been filled with intimacy, but it wasn’t the kind intended to reach a particular destination. No, in fact it was all about the journey. From the first moment Catherine had leaned back against Peggy, the feeling of her breasts as they pressed against her back, joined by the tender touches and kisses, a comfort had grown between the two. No more did any self conscious feelings invade Catherine’s mind. Though they were yet to have sex, the small steps which led them to the bed they were now both laying provided a calm for each.

Peggy smiled as she lay close to Catherine. “It’s bloody crazy isn’t it Cookie?”

Catherine’s fingers played with the strands of hair that had fallen in front of her Peggy’s face as the exquisite woman looked down at her. “That we are here in bed together?”

“Yes, it’s…absolutely fucking crazy!” Peggy chortled like the college girl she once was. “I never in a million years would have thought this could happen.”

“Nor did I Mags. I thought my life was just what I had made of it, and … well that was going to be all I ever knew.”

Peggy leaned down and kissed Catherine on the lips. Just as Catherine opened her mouth to encourage more, Peggy pulled back to continue her conversation. “I mean, that one moment….that one moment of my reading the newspaper, what if I hadn’t read it that day Cookie? What if – “

Catherine slid her hand behind Peggy’s neck and firmly pulled her down. “Let’s not analyze this right now.” What followed, was the start of an illicit kiss which escalated into an exchange between their tongues. The fire had started, and tonight they weren’t planning on stopping it from spreading completely.

#

“Mmm,” Tina whimpered once Bette pulled back. The loss of contact with Bette’s lips was disappointing and didn’t sit well with the blonde. “Kiss me,” she demanded.

Bette looked down at Tina. “You know, everything starts with a kiss…”

“Uh huh,” Tina said in a matter of fact way, the reluctance to end things from progressing shadowed her words.

“…and…it can be really hard to stop things once they start.”

“Do we have to?” Tina’s eyes pleaded for permission to take things further. She wanted to share her undying love for Bette by showing her in the ultimate way. “Baby, I’ve missed being with you.”

“We were together—“

Tina interrupted, “No…today doesn’t count.”

Bette’s brows raised in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. Bette, today my mind was so many places. It wasn’t that the sex in the woods didn’t mean anything. Of course any time I have been intimate with you has meant a ton of things to me. But, today was also a reaction to my fear of everything…to running…escaping. Do you get what I mean?”

Strangely enough Bette did understand. She knew that any time she and Tina were intimate, even when it often was a ‘reaction’ to some of life’s more challenging moments, that the intimacy was a meaningful connection.

“It’s that this time, I am devoted to you completely…body, mind, heart, and soul. I want to wait too, but … fuck it’s so hard to wait when all I want to do is completely devour you.”

Bette’s eyes opened wide. Tina’s words were laced with seduction and filled with an undeniable longing. The brunette felt her own inhibitions swiftly waning. “Tee…you’re making it hard.”

“Good…because I want you so damn bad right now.” Tina’s eyes glanced down to Bette’s crotch, letting her tongue trace her own upper lip before retreating back inside her mouth. “You can’t tell me you aren’t wet baby.”

Bette tried to hide her expression. Of course she was wet, not to mention the little act Tina had just done with her tongue that spiked a surge of arousal through her. As she moved her leg slightly to the side, she could feel her inner lips slipping against one another quite easily. Bette wasn’t just wet…she was saturated with desire for Tina Kennard. 

“You are.” Tina’s words were factual than not.

Bette looked away, again seeking to compose herself when she felt Tina’s hand slip inside her robe. An action that caused Bette to catch her breath at the very moment Tina’s hand stroked her abdomen and began descending. “Tee….”

Tina knew Bette wanted her as much as she her. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind about that. However, the hesitation that Bette was presenting, she wasn’t blind to. She struggled whether her hand should proceed in a southward direction, or honor the agreement that they had made a little earlier, to wait a little while. “Do you want me to stop?” she whispered.

Bette felt paralyzed. Her own indecisiveness was killing her. She could have an amazing evening making love with Tina through the night, or … she could wait. In that moment she quickly weighed if waiting would enable a more significant feeling between them. To be honest, she wasn’t sure it was possible to ever feel more for her than she did already. Nonetheless…it was necessary that this be a more mature love than what they had shared prior, and therefore the slower steps would help them fill in some gaps that even they may not have understood were there the first time around. With a bit of tentativeness and a hint of regret, Bette slipped her own hand inside of her robe and guided Tina’s away. “I love you so much Tee, but I really do think we need to wait. We have used sex so many times as a reaction in our relationship. I don’t want it to be that way.”

Tina looked down, the truth was hard to accept; even so, it was the truth. “You’re right.” She threw her head back against the pillow as she sighed aloud “Ugh! It’s so hard not to share something as special and deep as making love. It’s the ultimate way of showing one another how much love we share…the commitment, ya know?”

“It won’t be long.”

Tina nodded in agreement and placed an affectionate kiss upon Bette’s lips, sealing her acceptance and understanding.

#

Catherine arched her head back against the silk pillowcase the moment that Peggy’s mouth took possession of her nipple. She hadn’t been having sex regularly with Jerry, but in those moments she did, it was never like this. The delicacy and care which Peggy took as she pleased her, wasn’t something Catherine was used to. As a matter of fact, there was never such a leisurely path to having sex when she was married. It was generally a matter of Jerry rolling over and initiating something, in a very quick manner which usually got him off before she ever got close herself. 

Her eyelids struggled between opening and closing, resulting in her lashes fluttering quick in response to the overload of sensation. The moans which escaped from her mouth encouraged Peggy further. “Mmmm…ohhh…Mags,” Catherine uttered as Peggy’s mouth found her other breast.

Peggy’s tongue circled Catherine’s areola before sucking her stiff nipple into her welcoming mouth. Her fingers playfully stirred the nipple she had just departed from. The dual sensation she created prompted Catherine to raise her hips against Peggy. “I want more..” Catherine begged. 

“Foreplay darling,” Peggy whispered the moment she freed her mouth from Catherine’s breast. She knew that when she stimulated that place just below Catherine’s ear; a place she used to drive her girlfriend wild decades earlier, that the pleading for more was only going to escalate quickly. 

Peggy slipped her hand south until her fingertips reached Catherine’s pubic bone; there she paused, her tongue driving towards that spot below the ear that would unravel her lover. The instant that Peggy placed her mouth on the intended target, her fingernails had stirred the small pubic hairs beyond the pubic bone. There wasn’t a doubt she had started something, for Catherine had become completely untamed; her growls of ecstasy and physical response proof she was resigning herself completely to Peggy’s love.

#

Tina lay her head on Bette’s chest which was now covered with a Stanford t-shirt. “This right here is so meaningful isn’t it?”

“Completely.”

“This is the stuff you don’t get with guys…least I never did.”

“The softness?”

“Yeah. I hope it doesn’t sound too harsh or judgmental, and I know that not all guys are like that…I don’t think.” Tina tried to reason her quick response. “It’s just that between the two guys I was ever with, it was all about having sex.”

Bette started to laugh, causing Tina’s head to shift up and down on her chest. “What?” Tina questioned. “What’s so funny?”

“You,” Bette replied between a laugh that prompted a snort. “You were all about having it be ‘all about having sex’ just a little while ago.”

Tina pushed her face into Bette’s t-shirt as she tried to hide the smirk that took over her face. “I…I did say that huh?”

Inclined to continue teasing Tina about it, Bette decided to settle on squeezing the blonde into her further for a deep embrace. “I love you TK.”

“I love you too babe.” Tina was content. There were no more struggles at this time in her life. She felt an ease and sense of peace that she hadn’t felt…ever. The freedom that enveloped her was a feeling she never wanted to lose again. “I hope things work out for Mom and Mags. She really makes my mom happy; something I never really knew was missing until I saw her eyes filled with so much life over the past few days.”

“I’m sure things will turn out well for them Tee. What an amazing love story huh?”

“Uh huh,” Tina said weakly as she felt sleep begin robbing her attentiveness. “Totally….hope that they….you know….”

Bette began stroking Tina’s hair, knowing she was about to lose her girlfriend to a state of unconsciousness.

“….really….can reconnect…like before….”

When no more words came, and the fall and rise of Tina’s shoulder slowed, Bette knew that Tina had fallen into a peaceful sleep. She kissed the top of her hair and whispered her wishes for dreams that were sweet before closing her own eyes.


	162. Chapter 162

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww....older love and younger love. What a comparison. Love is love.

CHAPTER 162

Catherine’s mind had wandered back to the intimate moments she had shared with Jerry, when it was necessary to use lubrication. Needless to say, she was at that age where she had found herself having issues and needed to rely on something from the local pharmacy to help keep her lubricated enough to accept intercourse with ease. Inadvertently, her hands gripped Peggy’s shoulders as she whispered her concern. “I…I don’t have anything here…”

Peggy lifted her head from Catherine’s neck, unsure of what she had heard. “Love?”

“I…I don’t have any lubrication with me…I’ve always needed lubrication….” Catherine felt her face turn warm. “It’s so utterly embarrassing.”

Peggy’s expression was filled with understanding. “Shh....I honestly don’t think you will need anything love.”

“But—“

“How about you trust me on this one?” Peggy’s fingers slipped between Catherine’s lips, causing her body to arch upward the moment they grazed her swollen clit. “Honestly darling you are more than aroused.” 

Peggy’s fingers had felt a generous amount of moisture just within the lips, a sure sign that Catherine was more than lubricated enough.

Catherine trusted Peggy completely. Her needs drove her to reach down and place her hand over Peggy’s, encouraging her to enter her.

The moment that Peggy’s fingers penetrated her lover, a symphony of moans were driven from Catherine like never before. She felt the ease in which Peggy entered and began a series of rhythmic thrusts in and out of her core. No doubt, Catherine was more than lubricated enough to experience a comfortable encounter, something that stirred a bit of surprise for she had been having problems for years with vaginal dryness during intimacy. 

Peggy slowly descended down the blonde’s body, leaving a path of kisses as she progressed. As she came closer to her intended target, Catherine bent her knees, willingly allowing more access for Peggy to orally please her. Her hips were already matching the rhythm that Peggy had set; the muscles inside gripping the slender fingers that were pleasing her internally.

Catherine glanced down, needing to see how close Peggy was, for she was slowly losing control. Her wants were superseding everything else. “Please….oh please hurry,” Catherine begged.

Though Catherine’s clit was so engorged, that parting her lips wasn’t necessary, Peggy couldn’t help but want to see all that her mouth would soon be taking in. As Peggy’s fingers touched the lips that had equally swelled, Catherine’s brows twisted at the welcomed touch. She looked down once more, catching a glance of Peggy’s eyes before throwing her head back the moment she felt Peggy’s tongue sweep across her clit.

“Ohhh fuck,” Catherine moaned loudly as she grabbed for Peggy’s hair. 

The feelings Catherine experienced, both physically and emotionally was something that she hadn’t felt in a long time…decades to be honest. This was what making love felt like. It wasn’t about surrendering ones self to someone else because of obligation or duty. No…it was about sharing your bodies with one another as a means of feeling an ultimate level of unity and bonding. Making love was the ultimate symbol of ones love and devotion. Unfortunately in life, it was sometimes used too freely and for a variety of reasons; at times losing the true value of the experience.

#

As the sun’s rays filtered through the sheer curtains in Bette’s room, the brunette remained in a deep slumber. It had taken a while for her to fall off to sleep, for the excitement she felt having Tina in her bed, and the promise of so many tomorrows together, resulted in an adrenalin high that lingered for a while.

Tina slowly peered through the tiny crevice in her eyelid, hoping to see just enough to determine if Bette was awake, but not too much that the bright room would wake her completely. The sight of Bette sleeping peacefully, prompted Tina to fully open her eyes so she could freely watch her girlfriend without any interaction from her. In this state, Bette was serene. Her chest rose slowly and fell back ever so gently. The long lashes that framed her eyes were still; something Tina hadn’t seen for some time. In many ways while she slept, she was in a distant place. Yet, in other ways their souls were closer in this meditated state than a wakeful one.

Bette turned her head towards Tina, and instinctively opened her eyes to find the blonde staring at her. “Hey…”

“Hi babe.”

“How long have you been up?” The sleep in Bette’s voice was sexy, prompting a naughty smile from Tina.

“Not long…just watching you sleep.”

Bette frowned. “Oh gosh no.” She pushed her face into her pillow as she smirked.

Tina began caressing Bette’s hair. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, once I got to sleep.”

“You didn’t get to sleep right away?”

“No, not right away.”

Tina tilted her head, studying Bette’s expression. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, totally. I was just pumped up a bit.”

“Ah…little sexual tension going on there honey?”

Bette laughed. “You might say that.”

“I know the feeling. I had the sexiest dream of my life last night.”

Bette’s eyes widened. “You did?”

“Uh huh.”

“Tell me about it.”

Tina waved a finger at Bette. “Oh no…no way. I’m not going into details of that dream…trust me.”

“Why not?”

“Because it will…start things.”

Bette’s interest was peaked even more. “Really?”

“Uh huh.”

The playfulness continued until their discussion was interrupted by an incoming call on Tina’s cell phone.

“Shit. Timing’s everything,” Bette sighed.

“Hello. Oh…hi Mom…”


	163. Chapter 163

CHAPTER 163

“Hi Tina, I hope you weren’t sleeping.”

“No…we just got up.”

“Yeah? We did—“ Catherine stopped in her tracks. “I did too.”

Tina snickered in silence. Too late Mom, your daughter was too fast for you, Tina thought to herself. “What’s up Mom?”

“Well Mags and I were talking, and we wanted to have a cookout at the house tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

“We figured it would be a good chance for you to meet her daughter…” Catherine made every attempt to dismiss Peggy’s playfulness as she tried hard to maintain her composure. “…Uh….pardon me a minute.” Catherine placed the phone firmly against her chest as she reprimanded Peggy. “Sorry…um maybe you could have all your friends over…isn’t everyone returning to school next week?

Tina’s confusion over what she could tell was a cupped mouth piece to the phone, was quickly replaced by disappointment. “Yeah... next week everyone is moving into their dorms.” Tina looked at Bette with sadness in her eyes. She didn’t want to be over an hour away from her. 

Peggy wasn’t a good listener, for the next thing she did was start teasing Catherine’s nipple, prompting the blonde to smother her mouth into the pillow rather than cup the phone.

“Mom?”

“Um…sor..sorry honey…do you have any plans tomorrow?”

Tina whispered the question to Bette, who responded that she didn’t have any plans yet.

“No, we don’t have any plans. We could definitely do a cookout.” Tina had clearly heard a giggle in the background. She cupped the phone and looked towards Bette. “Oh my god, they are doing it,” she whispered.

“Great honey. Let’s plan on having it around two o’clock okay?”

“Yeah sure Mom,” Tina wanted to quickly end the conversation. She didn’t care that her mother and Mags were already being intimate, but she certainly didn’t want to hear it happening.

“You can call your friends and let them know.”

“Sounds good Mom…I really have to go.”

“Yeah…yeah, met too Tina.” Catherine quickly flipped the phone shut and rolled over on top of Peggy. “You are…just so bad!”

“Then, you must punish me darling,” Peggy begged with passion filled eyes.

#

Bette had been muffling her laughter into the pillow until Tina flipped her phone. “Your mom is doing it…like right now?”

“I don’t know for sure! She was …well…kind of covering the phone every now and then. Then there was a giggle in the background, like a naughty laugh or something.”

“Hot damn, your mother’s getting down with her girlfriend.” Bette grabbed her knees as she laughed heartily.

“Bette!”

“It’s funny Tee! I mean, think about how crazy life is. Only two months ago, your mother was sleeping with your homophobic father, keeping this like life long secret that she never thought would ever reconcile itself. Now, she is with this woman she had given her heart to years ago and…they are in bed probably doing it like rabbits!”

“Ugh!” Tina cringed. “This sucks! My mother is having sex with her girlfriend before ME!”

“Do you think they did it sixty-nine style?”

“Yuck! Bette stop! I don’t want to think of my mother having sex…even if it is with a woman.”

Bette’s laugh lingered on as she grabbed hold of Tina. “I’m sorry babe. I think it’s all wonderful to be honest. I don’t mean to sound insensitive with your dad dying and all, but to think that your mom and this woman were able to hold enough feeling all these years later is just mind boggling don’t you think?” 

“Yeah, I do think it’s an amazing thing.”

“To have such a strong love last over decades of not ever seeing one another or communicating is just…”

“No other love,” Tina finished.

“It really is. I’m happy for her.”

“I am too.” Tina rested her head on Bette’s chest. “I really am. It really has been nice to see my mom so happy and smiling all the time.”

Bette grinned. “No doubt that smile is even bigger this morning!”

Tina shoved Bette’s arm. “Stop!”

Bette chuckled, before grabbing Tina and pulling her into a big bear hug.

#

“You are a naughty woman,” Catherine admonished, struggling to keep a serious face.

“So observant Cookie,” Peggy laughed as her finger leisurely traced the blonde’s areola. “…and so very beautiful I may add.”

The compliments were indulging, not to mention a self esteem boost. “You are too generous with your words.”

“Never Cookie. I never say something which I don’t mean.”

“I know you don’t.”

“So, is Tina okay with having a cookout?”

“Yes. She is going to call her friends. The only thing left is for you to let your daughter know the time and place.”

“I’ll place the call following my shower.”

“Sounds good.” Catherine stared at Peggy as flashbacks of the evening before filtered through her mind. “Last night was…” she found herself at a loss for words.

“Incredible?” Peggy offered, hoping she wasn’t appearing arrogant.

“Oh more than that. There aren’t words to say just what it all felt like….and if you keep doing that with your finger…”

Peggy laughed as she brought her finger to Catherine’s abdomen and rested it there. Her confidence grew, a result of Catherine’s words of affirmation. She was a very secure woman most everywhere in her life, but it had been quite a while since she had been intimate with a woman; this one in particular. It felt good being reassured. “I’m quite pleased you felt satisfied with everything.”


	164. Chapter 164

CHAPTER 164

Catherine’s eyes stared at Peggy’s. “It was the best thing I have felt in a very long time Maggie.”

“I’m so glad Cookie. I’m both pleased and thankful that we have found one another again. It’s exhilarating…like I have this whole new reason for living. I know…silly isn’t it?”

“Not at all honey.” Catherine snaked her fingers through Peggy’s, enjoying the closeness that making love symbolized; a sentiment which had been absent for years. “In this short time I have felt much happier than I have for most of my life. I don’t ever want this feeling to end.”

“Neither do I.” Peggy squeezed Catherine’s hand, expressing her genuine agreement.

Catherine hoped that she had pleased Peggy beyond what she had expected. It had been just as long an absence since she had made love with her, and therefore there was the need to feel reassured too. “Was everything good last night?”

Peggy was surprised by the question, fearing she hadn’t expressed her satisfaction enough. “Love, why on earth would you ask that?”

“It’s just that it has been so long…I want to be sure that you felt satisfied enough.”

Peggy’s fingers released from Catherine’s and lifted her chin so she was now looking at her. “Darling, did you not hear any of those animalistic moans that you drew from deep within me?”

A smile broke from the corner of Catherine’s mouth as she felt her face go warm. “I did.”

“Then I believe you have your answer. However, if I must reassure you further, then let me just tell you that I have never experienced such mind altering orgasms like I felt last night…EVER.”

“Ever?” Catherine immediately thought of their college days. “Um…ever?”

“Ever,” Peggy firmly repeated.

“Not even in college?”

“Not even in college dear.”

“Wow…why is that? Why do you think it was different now?”

“I’m not sure. Perhaps it’s a more mature love?”

It seemed reasonable enough to Catherine. She expressed a deep sigh of relief before resting her head on Peggy’s chest. She felt overwhelmed at her ability to feel Peggy’s chest rise and fall, more evidence that this wasn’t a fairytale but something quite real. Her mind quickly returned to the night before, something that Peggy must have found happening too, for it was almost the same time both reached for the other and began encouraging a replay.

#

“Are you excited to meet her daughter,” Bette questioned, sensing Tina’s apprehension from the discussion they had been sharing.

“Not really…I don’t think so.”

Bette hesitated to continue speaking, offering Tina some time to further express herself. She watched as Tina’s facial expression began showing evidence of her thoughts. “You sure?”

“It’s a little weird I suppose, thinking that this girl might end up being my step sister or something. I never had a sister ya know? What if she doesn’t like lesbians?”

“Hello? Tina her mother is sleeping with you mother.”

“True. I don’t know Bette, I honestly don’t know a lot about Mags. I mean, I don’t know if she has been closeted and just came out now, or if she has been with women all her life since Mom.”

“You don’t know much about her huh?”

“Not really. I only know what my mother has shared with me, and pretty much it’s mostly been about how in love they both were when they were in college and stuff. They lost touch, and now since my father’s death they have been in touch again. I honestly didn’t think they were going to sleep together so soon.”

Bette began tracing circles on Tina’s arm. “Does that bother you?”

“No, not really. It’s just a little weird ya know? You have to understand, as much as I absolutely love my mom being with someone she adores, it’s also pretty new and different. I mean, just because I am a lesbian doesn’t mean that I automatically feel this huge comfort in seeing my mom with a woman.”

“It’s uncomfortable?”

“No, I don’t mean that….it’s just different. I have to get used to it. I don’t mind it, but all I have seen for my entire life was my mother with a man. It’s like….um…if your father shaved his mustache. It doesn’t really impact you personally either way, whether it’s shaved or not, but…it would just take a little getting used to because you have been used to that for your entire life.”

“Yeah. I get it. It would be a little weird.”

“That’s all I mean. So I just have questions as to whether Maggie’s daughter has known about my mom, or whether she has no clue that her mother has been with a woman and stuff. For all I know, her daughter is homophobic!”

#

“Seriously mother? You want me to go to a cookout?” Helena grabbed the sheet which was barely covering her and pulled it up to her breast. 

“Darling, it will be nice. I want you to meet an old friend.”

“At a cookout?” Helena squirmed, slipping her hand beneath the sheets to discourage the activity which was beginning to occur under them. “That…uhm…usually isn’t your style.”

“Well some things change my dear. I’ll give you the address. Everyone is getting there for about 2 o’clock.”

“Who is everyone? Better yet, who is this friend?”

“My old high school love.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll explain it tomorrow. I just want your word you will be there. She is going to be putting a lot of effort in to make this a nice time.”

“She? Your high school love is a she?”


	165. Chapter 165

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha Ha! You ladies REALLY have me in stitches with your comments. My goodness, I think we ALL might be crashing this cookout! LOL!!!!

CHAPTER 165

“Yes dear. I’m sure you don’t have a problem with that.”

“I…well it’s just…bloody hell mother you never said a damn thing to me about this! When did you start seeing her again?” Helena pulled the sheet from her, exposing the woman who had been attempting to get her attention between her legs. 

“I found her again most recently. I don’t believe that I have to justify my lifestyle to you…especially you Helena. I would think that you would be supportive.”

“Well…yes…yes I am mother, I’m just a bit shocked by the revelation. It’s a little difficult to learn of something like this which has obviously remained a secret all these years.”

“I apologize for that. I never thought I was going to find Cookie again, therefore I wasn’t about to be with a woman again. I didn’t think it was necessary.”

“Cookie? Her name is Cookie?”

“It’s my nickname,” Peggy chuckled like a little girl. “Anyway, shall I give you the address or should I email it to you?”

“Can you just email it mother. I’m…a little…busy.” Helena looked down at Jan, who was arching her brow seductively. “I’ll talk to you later.” Helena flipped the phone shut, still stunned by what was shared with her, but not enough that she could disregard the intentions of the woman that was seeking her attention. “I’m sorry, my dear mother was sharing too much again.”

Jan smirked. “It must have been really good gossip for you to want me to stop.”

Helena laughed. “Maybe…or…maybe not.” Helena glanced down to her pussy. “I wouldn’t mind discussing the details later.”

The hint was taken, and Jan’s head returned to the place it was just before the phone had rang. 

They had met in a bar a couple of weeks earlier, neither realizing that their ex’s were now paired up. In fact, they hadn’t offered very much about their former relationships, but one of them was going to find out in just over twenty-four hours what a small world it could be.

#

Shane was quite happy to accept the invitation to Tina’s house for a cookout, and even further thrilled when she learned that Bette would be attending. They hadn’t been together as a complete group since Mr. Kennard’s funeral, and with a few days left before they would be returning to school, it was fitting to have everyone together once more.

“I’ll see you at your place at two.”

“Yep, two or even sooner. Bette and I will probably get there around noon to help my mom.”

“Cool. I’ll see you then Tina.”

“Thanks Shane. I’m going to call Alice and then Dana.”

“I’m sure if you call one, the other will be within an earshot.”

Tina laughed. “Yeah? Are they back together or something?”

“Well…I’m not really suppose to say…”

“That says it all right there,” Tina quipped. “Good for them.” She looked at Bette, imagining all the good things that Alice and Dana were probably feeling as they also decided to see one another again. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Shane’s heart swelled with happiness. The two women who she felt were meant for one another from the first time they had laid eyes upon each other, were now together. It seemed far more permanent now than it did even in high school. They were different people today than they were then. Though they hadn’t been out of high school for long, the vision of a college degree which would open a path to a lifelong career was a road traveled by adults. That is exactly what they were, and that adult love was far more promising than anything they had felt earlier.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Shane.”

“See you then Tina.”

Tina flipped the phone just as a knock sounded on the bedroom door. She looked at Bette who seemed equally puzzled. “Should I hide in the closet?”

“In the closet? Christ you just came out of the damn closet,” Bette replied half joking and half serious. “Just…stand behind the door just in case it’s my dad.”

Bette turned the door knob and before she could invite the person from the other side into her room, the door had been pushed open, revealing a sister filled with suggestions.

“Okay, I’m sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, but you need to get off your ass and go after her.” Bette began to open her mouth but was cut off. “No, don’t even start to give me any lip. Baby girl, you are so completely in love with that woman. Now I know you think that she doesn’t want to be in this relationship, but I really think you are wrong. I think that—“

“Kit – wait!”

“No, you wait. You have been moping in your room, not wanting to go to the mall, not wanting to do a damn thing. You have to go back to school in a few days. Make this right dammit!” Kit was on a roll. She had been replaying Bette’s heartache over and over in her head all the way to the mall the night before, and she wasn’t about to let things go without making every effort to let her own feelings known.

Bette remained silent, casually glancing at the door which was separating Kit and Tina. “Um…”

“Don’t, okay! You just…just listen to me on this one. I know, I’m older and much wiser.”

Bette started to laugh, which was then followed by her reaching for Tina’s hand and pulling her into view. “You are such a dork, you know that?”

Kit’s eyes widened. “You…were there the whole time?”

“What do you think?” Bette asked in between a few snorts of laughter. “You think she just appeared out of thin air?”

“You’re an ass,” Kit replied. While she felt a bit embarrassed, the wonder of seeing both women together overpowered everything else. “When?”

“I came over last night.”

“Ahh,” Kit arched a brow and grinned. “I see…”

“It wasn’t like that,” Bette defended. “We are taking things a little slower.”

“Yeah...okay.”

“Seriously, we are going on a date tonight,” Tina piped in. She glanced at Bette with love in her eyes. “I can’t wait actually.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“Not sure yet.”

“Well, Dad left for the airport early this morning, so at least he won’t be home.”

“He did? Where did he go?”

“Florida. He has some conference that starts on Monday and I guess the guy that was suppose to direct the vendors where to set things up was pretty ill, so Dad went early.”

“Oh. I may not even get to say bye to him then, because I leave on Tuesday and wasn’t his conference for a few days?”

“He gets back on Wednesday.”

“Well…I suppose I’ll just e-mail him or something.” Bette seemed to be a little disappointed that her father hadn’t said goodbye to her, but also recognized that if he had come to her room to do so, she could have risked getting bagged with Tina there. Though her father was aware of her sexuality and the relationship that she once shared with Tina, he wasn’t aware that anything was happening under his roof.

“You still have about an hour or so to say bye to Mom.”

Bette was taken back by what Kit said. “What do you mean? Where is she going?”

“She is going to stay a few nights with Aunt Doris. I guess she had been complaining that she hadn’t seen Mom, so Mom figured with Dad gone this weekend, it would be a good time to catch up with her sister.”

“Wow. So no one is going to be around this weekend.” Bette looked at Tina, who couldn’t help but grin from approval.

“So…I guess the house is all yours,” Kit smirked. “I’ve got a ton of cleaning to do at my place, so I plan on locking myself indoors until I get all of it done!”

“Don’t work too hard,” Tina suggested, her voice filled with glee that she and Bette would have full privacy that evening. There was no way that either of them was going to get beyond this evening without finding themselves wanting to be intimate.

“Yeah, don’t you … over do it either,” Kit laughed. 

Bette rolled her eyes. “Alright little miss stand up comedian, time for you to leave.”

Kit shook her booty on the way out, offering a few humorous words of advice to her sister as she went.

“What a dork huh?” Bette leaned back against the door, hoping to prevent her sister from returning.

“I like your sister. I always have,” Tina replied. “I like her even more now that she has shared some great news with us.” It only took a few steps, and she was in front of Bette, who’s back was still against the door. “I’m looking forward to our date tonight.”

“Me too.”

Bette watched as Tina’s face came closer, then drifted to the right. Her words tantalized the hair that had fallen in front of her ear. “I can’t wait much longer to feel your mouth all over my body, or to have mine all over yours…in every single space. I really want us to be ‘together’…tonight. ”

She wasn’t going to promise anything, but it wasn’t something she could immediately deny either. The feelings she had for Tina; the endless love and cavernous sexual attraction prompted an ache that needed to be alleviated.…sooner rather than later.


	166. Chapter 166

CHAPTER 166

“I’ll need to do some shopping for the cookout tomorrow,” Catherine thought aloud. “I’ll get to that this afternoon.”

“We can make two lists. You can get the food on one of them while I get the food on the other.”

Catherine was surprised. She hadn’t expected Peggy to go grocery shopping with her. In fact, it wasn’t something she ever had help with, unless Jerry’s shouting out the front door to pick up a box of ice cream counted as help. “You want to go shopping?”

“You are hosting a cookout for our daughters to get to meet up darling. Why on earth should the responsibility be solely upon you?”

The offer felt great. Gone were the “expectations” that certain duties belonged just to Catherine, and so didn’t many of the deep seeded requirements that had been instilled in her over the years. “Thank you. I didn’t expect you to have to help, but I appreciate you wanting to.”

“Love, you need to understand that the only expectation I have is what I put on myself. I expect to help you with everything…right down the middle. Of course, that is if you will let me.”

Catherine smiled. She felt so loved and appreciated. For the first time she really felt like an equal in this…partnership? When she wasn’t quite certain what to refer to the relationship she and Peggy were sharing, her face showed it.

“What’s wrong dear?”

“Nothing.” Catherine’s smile was forced. She was never successful in hiding what she was feeling from Peggy; not back then, and certainly not now.

“Don’t tell me there isn’t anything wrong when I can sense that isn’t the truth.”

Catherine sat up in bed, bringing the sheets around her body. “I was thinking to myself, what is this…here?”

“Pardon? I don’t understand.”

Catherine was tentative, she didn’t want to present a discussion that had the potential of creating any pressure or impacting any of the wonderful things they had experienced during the early hours of the morning.

“Cookie…it’s okay, what is it you don’t understand?”

“I’m afraid to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to ruin things Mags.”

#

“Kit, who’s car is that in the driveway?”

Kit smirked as she finished the last of her orange juice. “That’s Tina’s car Mom.”

“Tina? I didn’t even hear her come in. She is up bright and early.”

“That she is. What time do you need to be at the airport?”

“I need to leave here in a few minutes.”

“Oh, that soon?”

“Well you know me, I like to be prepared for any traffic snarls I might come across. The last thing I need is having your aunt freak out if I miss my flight.”

“Would you like me to bring you?”

“No, it will be fine if I drive myself. Thank you for offering though.”

“You’re welcome. I’m going to get back to my place. Thanks for letting me borrow the steam machine.”

“It’s nothing.”

Kit hugged her mother and departed for her place, leaving her mother to return upstairs to get her things together before leaving for the airport.

#

Tina had wrapped a towel around her and was exiting the bathroom at the very same time Bette’s mother was walking past.

“Tina…uhm…hello.” 

“Hi Mrs. Porter.” Tina felt the awkwardness flush through her body; a warmth settling on each cheek of her face. “I…well I…”

“She was using our shower Mom because hers was broken. I told her she could shower here.” Bette saved the day, and Tina’s relief could be seen as her complexion began returning to normal.

“Oh, no worries. It’s nice to see you dear. It’s been a while.”

“Yes. It has.” 

Bette’s eyes wandered up and down Tina’s body. The bare legs and shoulders began creating a series of illicit thoughts.

“…right Bette?”

“Huh?”

“I was just telling your mother that we are sorry to hear she won’t be around this weekend.”

“Oh…yeah, exactly.” Bette tried hard to avoid making eye contact with Tina’s body. In fact, she was trying so hard that Tina couldn’t help by notice. 

“Well I need to get to the airport girls. What day are you leaving for school Bette?”

“I was going to leave on Monday Mom. I didn’t know Dad was traveling. I’ll have to send him an email.”

“He was in a panic trying to get to the conference sooner than later. I’m sure he didn’t mean to overlook saying bye to you.”

“Yeah…I guess.”

“I will be home Monday afternoon. Do you think you will still be here?”

“I was going to head out in the morning.”

“Oh…okay. Well I guess then this is goodbye.”

“I’m sorry Mom. You seem disappointed.”

“Goodness Bette, don’t you be worrying yourself any over me. You just enjoy your semester. We’ll be in touch by phone now and then as we did your first year. You’ll be home for Thanksgiving won’t you?” 

“Of course I will.”

“Good.” 

Bette hugged her mother. “I’ll call you Monday night okay?”

“You do that.”

It was then Tina’s turn to get a big hug from Bette’s mom. “You do well in school Tina.”

“I will.”

“Goodness, I have to get going before I miss my flight and your aunt puts an all points bulletin out on me!”

The girls laughed as each returned to Bette’s bedroom.


	167. Chapter 167

CHAPTER 167

Peggy could see the concern in Catherine’s eyes. “Sweetheart, I assure you that whatever it is you wish to share, isn’t going to ruin a thing.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because, I won’t let it,” Peggy replied, her words laced with certainty. “Please...talk to me.”

Catherine hesitated as she studied Peggy’s eyes. She found a comfort in them, enough that pushed her to open up. “I wasn’t sure what to refer to us as…not so much for myself, but to others. Tomorrow when I introduced you...”

“Is that it?”

“Yes.”

“There isn’t any pressure to introduce me as anything special—“

“But I want to,” Catherine quickly interrupted. “That’s the thing…I want to introduce you as something special. You are the best thing that has happened to me, and I don’t want to hide how wonderful you make me feel.”

“Understandable dear, but I’m not sure how well that would be received considering you just buried your husband less than a week ago.”

“I know, and that is what I’m struggling with…how other’s will view that, and yet I don’t want to go back to that place Mags. I have felt so fucking free over the past few days, more than I have ever felt in my entire life, simply because I have been true to myself and what I want…not really giving too much thought as to what others would think.”

Peggy understood where Catherine was coming from. She saw first hand the life in her eyes in recent days, and although she may not have seen the clouds that had covered them during their years apart, she knew what was before her now.

“…this week,” Catherine continued, “I silently made a promise to myself. The promise was that no matter what others expected or thought, that I was going to live my life how I wanted. If those in my life really want the best for me, and want me to be happy…then…well they will need to figure out how they can maintain a relationship with me, because I am not going to buckle again…never.”

“That’s a good place to be right?”

“It is…of course it is…” Catherine hesitated.

“But…”

“But now I’m feeling myself buckling because I want to tell everyone how happy I am now, and how proud I am to be with you.”

“And you feel that you will be judged, right?”

“Yes.”

“Cookie, I know that you want to scream to the world right now, but it’s not necessary to do so. Outwardly, to everyone else we have only been in one another’s company for a handful of days. I’m honestly okay with you waiting. Your daughter knows about us, and I’m sure you will talk to Mark soon. Does it matter who else knows?”

“I suppose it doesn’t.”

“We have only just found one another again. Give it time.”

“What do I even call this?” The rest of Catherine’s concerns surfaced. In fact, this was the original apprehension which prompted the one she had just discussed. “You know…us…what are we?”

Peggy raised her brows, and without much thought said the first thing that came to mind. “I…well…hell if I know!” 

#

“I’ve missed seeing your mom,” Tina admitted as she stood outside her car. 

“She has missed you too Tee.”

“If she were going to be here, I would have suggested she come to the cookout.”

“That would have been a nice idea.”

“Are you sure you don’t want any help getting your stuff together?” Tina offered.

“Noooo, I can do it. I didn’t bring a whole lot back here anyway. Most of my things are still at my apartment.”

“I hope Eric left my stuff alone and in one piece. I haven’t been back there yet.”

“I can go with you if you want Tee.”

“It’s okay babe. He won’t be there. He sent me an email the other day to remind me that I only had until next weekend to either sign a lease in my name or move out.”

“What are you planning to do?”

Tina sat in the driver’s seat and closed the door, continuing her conversation once she put the window down. “I’m not sure. I may try to get something a bit closer to my school…maybe…in the middle of both our schools.”

Bette rested her arms on the edge of the open window. “You know…it would be about forty-five minutes from my apartment to Berkeley…if you wanted to consider moving in together.”

Tina felt her face go warm once more. “Really? You wouldn’t mind living together?”

“Why would I mind? I love you, and I would love to have you close to me all the time…not just some of the time.”

Tina felt her heart melt. “That was adorable.”

“It’s true.”

“We haven’t even gone on a first ‘official’ date and you want me to move in with you? Gosh Porter, you move fast!” Tina joked.

“I can’t help it,” Bette smiled. “I know what’s important to me…and what I don’t want to risk slipping away from me.”

The words meant the world to Tina. It was a sign that Bette was trusting her again, but more importantly, that Bette was serious about where she wanted her to be in her life. It made the blonde feel needed, valued, and especially loved beyond words alone. “I would really love to live with you Bette.”

Bette’s smile grew. She was happy…hell she was beyond happy, she was thrilled by the prospect of them sharing their days and nights together. Though they were only coming back to one another, they had been together in the past; long enough that they knew that this was the next natural step in their relationship. It would make both of them feel solid where they were with one another, and for Bette…feeling solid by living together would allow her to keep those walls down. 

#

“OoOo it’s so exciting!” Alice chirped. “I cannot wait to see those two back together.”

“I know what you mean.” Dana agreed. “I think it’s awesome.”

Alice handed Dana an empty dish for her to scoop the scrambled eggs into. “What I really am dying to find out is how on earth did all this happen? They didn’t seem overly chummy at the funeral or anything.”

“Take that plate there. I’ll grab the toast.” Dana buttered a few slices of toast before returning to the kitchen table. “I know what you mean, I hadn’t seen anything that would have made me think they were back together.”

“Then again…it didn’t take us too long to figure out we wanted to get back together,” Alice remembered aloud. “Guess it must have been the same kind of thing.”

“Maybe.” Dana topped off their juice glasses and began sampling some of the breakfast she had cooked for them. “Not too bad if I say so myself.”

“Not bad at all Dane…sort of like last night,” Alice teased, prompting Dana to go red. “Oh come on, don’t be getting all uncomfortable, it was…great.”

“Really? Are you sure? Because I honestly wasn’t really going to even try, as we never did it that way.”

Alice formed an evil grin. “It was HOT. I can’t wait to do it again!”

Dana laughed, feeling a little more proud of herself. “Well then…maybe before we head back to school on Monday we can have an encore.”

“Now that I wouldn’t miss.”

“I would hope not! It would be kind of hard to wear a strap on and try to do it doggy style to an invisible girl.”

Alice laughed, enjoying the renewed intimate relationship she and Dana had recently decided to share once again.


	168. Chapter 168

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...I must admit, I think this cookout is gonna be filled with laughs and shenanigans.

Chapter 168

Catherine felt a slight ache set in as disappointed began filtering through her. She knew it was too soon to expect any form of commitment, but the few days with Peggy had allowed her an unexplained ability to bridge the time they had in college to the present. It was as if the decades she spent with Jerry were a blur. 

“I’m sorry. You seem upset,” Peggy noted as she witnessed Catherine’s expression change.

“I’m sorry Mags. I don’t mean to come across as needy, but…but I need to know that…” For the first time, Catherine felt a difficult in sharing her feelings with Mags.

“Know what?”

“Well, it’s just so strange. Oddly enough, I don’t feel like a three decade absence with you. It’s like we somehow picked up where we left off…as if time didn’t escape us. My feelings I recognize as being deep…real…and stable.”

Peggy felt confused. “ Okay. I feel much of that as well Cookie. What are you trying to say.”

“I don’t want to be some filler…a ship passing by in the night,” Catherine blurted. 

Peggy tilted her head, appreciating Catherine’s fears. “Darling…” Peggy grabbed hold of her hand and brought it to her mouth, kissing the back of it. “You shall never be a filler in my life…not ever.”

“I need to know what this means to you Mags.”

“It means the world to me. I love this.”

“This.” Catherine was slightly bothered by Mags’ inability to elaborate further. “What does that mean? That you will be okay meeting up a few nights a week for a romp in the sac, or that you wish to make this something more?”

#

Helena lay back in the bed, the sheets sticking to the sweat that had formed on her body. “Bloody hell woman, you certainly know how to turn a woman into a primitive animal!”

Jan laughed as she wiped her own sweat from her forehead. “Glad you like. I wasn’t sure you could keep up…for an old girl.”

“Old! Fucking hell I am old. I’m only a few years older than you I’ll have you know.”

“Oh…only a few huh?” Jan teased.

“Just remember this, with age comes experience and wisdom…you’ve yet to learn all there is to learn in bed. Lucky for you, I’m willing to invest a bit of time teaching.”

Jan formed a cocky expression. “Ohhhh lucky for me huh?”

“You bet. One day, when you least expect it, I may just show you.”

“How about right now?” Jan asked as she straddled Helena and held her arms down. “Or…I could teach you a thing or two.”

Helena laughed. “I wouldn’t mind at all, but unfortunately time won’t allow any more time on the playground. I have a twelve o’clock manicure and pedicure scheduled, followed by a bikini wax and facial.”

“Mmmm…bikini wax huh? Good…I like to indulge on a hairless pussy.”

Helena shook her head as she started to raise her body, prompting Jan to slide off her. 

“If you are a good girl, you may have your craving met later tonight.”

“Grrrrrrr,” Jan growled. “I hope so. I will want to make up for not seeing you tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me. I get this bomb dumped on me today about my mother’s first love being a woman, and now I am meant to meet the woman AND her daughter too.”

Jan took every advantage to tease Helena. “Sounds like this could be serious. You best get to know this girl, she may just be your step-sister one day.”

“No…I can’t even fathom the thought of sharing mother or her wealth with some other person.” Little did Helena know, there wasn’t just one child…but two.

#

Peggy sat straight up in the bed. “Cookie, where is all this coming from?”

“I just need to know that…that…” Catherine felt her eyes filling with tears. She was scared. She was incredibly fearful of losing Maggie again. The first time was hard enough. Heck it nearly ripped her heart out. After that, it had taken time, but she had come to terms with the fact that she would never again have her in her life. This time, though the days had been few, there was enough emotion and feeling in them that she knew she could not bear losing her again.

“Cookie, sweetheart don’t cry. What is happening here? Come on now…talk to me.”

“I’m so scared of losing you again.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“What if…we want different things. I don’t have the right to ask you to be with me…just me—“

Peggy interrupted. “Why don’t you?”

“…have the right?”

“Yes. Why do you feel you don’t have the right?”

Catherine was surprised by Maggie’s question. “Do you think I do?”

“First tell me why you feel you don’t.”

“I can’t expect that you would want to make a commitment with me, having just gotten back together after so long. Yet, I feel like we haven’t had any absence at all. Being with you over the past few days, it just feels like we didn’t lose all the time we have. The feelings are just as strong, if not deeper for you now.”

Peggy smiled. “Then again I ask, why don’t you feel you have the right?”

“I…guess I am quite capable of asking…but I just didn’t want to scare you away.”

Peggy started to laugh as she dropped back against the pillow. “Oh Catherine, there are not too many things in this world that scares this old gal, and certainly not something like having to say that I would want to strictly see you and no one else. See, in that situation I think I win all the way around.”

Catherine was relieved. “Are you serious? I thought you might want to take it easy. You haven’t been with someone for a little while, so I just assumed that you were getting accustomed to living a single life.”

“Cookie, we aren’t kids anymore. I don’t have the time, energy, and more importantly the desire to want to date other people. How can you want to date when you feel you have found the love of your life…again?” Peggy snickered.

Catherine reached forward and grabbed hold of Peggy. “I love you so much Mags.”

“I love you too my love.”

Both women found their bodies once again searching for the other as they began blending their skin beneath the sheets. The love making had once more begun.

#

Bette immediately went to the attic to retrieve the picnic basket. Once she had that, she gathered the necessary plastic ware and returned to the kitchen; there she put some strawberries in a plastic container then followed it with a container of chicken salad and a plastic bag of cheese and crackers. After placing a few slices of bread in another plastic box, she put the entire basket on the top shelf of the fridge. The only thing needed would be a large blanket, and few smaller items then everything would be set for their date.

As she rummaged through the pile of blankets in the linen closet, she found an old queen sized comforter. It was a little bulky, but it would provide a comfort if the beach sand was more compact like it had been on some occasions when she went for a morning run. She placed it on the floor, then reached down and retrieved a box of matches. She would throw a few pieces of duraflame logs in the trunk so that she could start a fire on the beach. Bette wanted everything to turn out just right for them, as there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that they would both be returning back to her house and consummate their love in a physical manner which would solidify their commitment once and for all.


	169. Chapter 169

CHAPTER 169

That afternoon Peggy helped Catherine complete the grocery shopping, and insisted that she help with a few tasks around the house. Catherine wasn’t going to have to go it alone, and by the time Mark returned home in time for dinner, the pool was vacuumed, grill cleaned and patio swept off. Peggy had been on a mission, and one look around proved how ambitious she had been.

“I can’t thank you enough Mags. The place looks great!”

“No need to thank me Cookie, I’m glad I could help.”

“Mom, what’s for dinner?” Mark questioned as he came into the house bouncing the basketball he had been using outside.

“Mark, please don’t bounce the ball in the house.”

“Is that your car in the driveway?” Mark’s question prompted a bit of panic in Peggy.

“The ball didn’t hit the car did it?”

“Nope. I was just wondering if it was your car.”

“Oh yes…yes it is.”

“It’s sweet!”

Peggy smiled, relieved his question wasn’t anything more. “I think so too.”

“I want to get one of them when I get old enough to drive.”

“If you work hard enough, you can have anything you want.”

Catherine had been so pleased with the conversation that was occurring between Peggy and her son, that she forgot to introduce them. “Mark, this is … Mags. We went to college together.”

“Cool. Hi.”

“Hi Mark. Pleased to meet you.” Peggy extended her hand and shook Mark’s hand.

In typical kid fashion, Mark turned to his mother and once more inquired about dinner. “How about we get take out? Chinese food?”

“Awesome! I’ll have some chicken fingers and some teriyaki sticks…and-“

“We can put a list together in a little bit.” Catherine turned to Peggy. “Would you like to stay?”

“I would love to Cookie, but I need to get home. I have a few things I need to take care of so I can devote all my attention to the party tomorrow.”

“Cookie?” Mark was confused. “You just called her Cookie.” Turning to his mother, “What party Mom?”

Catherine placed her hands on Mark’s shoulder as she pulled him in for a hug. “I’ll explain over dinner. Why don’t you go run upstairs and wash up, then we can leave.”

“Okay…Cookie,” Mark joked, breaking free from his mother’s hug. “I’ll be back.”

Catherine and Peggy laughed as he ran down the hall. When it was safe, Peggy placed a quick kiss on Catherine’s lips before heading out of the house and to her home. 

#

Bette chose a pair of olive drab vintage low cut cargo pants and a black v-neck jersey. A pair of sandals completed the outfit. After one last look in the mirror, she retrieved the picnic basket from the fridge and brought it to her car. She made a final mental note of each item that she had placed in the trunk, then drove to Tina’s.

When she arrived in the driveway, Tina was sitting on the front step waiting. The sight of the blonde sashaying to the car was an enticing visual. When she opened the door, her distinctive scent permeated the air. Bette wasn’t sure if it was the shampoo, body wash, or both, but it was a blend of scents which Bette had become familiar with.

“Hey,” Tina said as she got into the car. “You look great Bette.”

Bette smiled, “Likewise.”

“Oh, this old thang?” Tina joked as she looked down at her wheat colored shirred tank and white capri’s. 

“They don’t look old to me,” Bette noted, thankful she had thrown a few sweatshirts in her trunk where Tina had dressed fairly light. “You really look great.”

“Thanks babe. So…where are you taking me?” Tina had been excited all day, both from the anticipation of seeing Bette again, as well as the curiosity that had taken over her. “I’ve been wondering what you planned.”

“Oh…well it wasn’t anything too big, so don’t let yourself be disappointed.”

“I won’t be disappointed. Anywhere close to you is never a disappointment.” Tina placed her hand on top of Bette’s leg, prompting the muscles to tighten under her touch. “You a little tense there babe?”

Bette couldn’t help but giggle. “No…not at all. What do you think I’m nervous or something?”

“I don’t know, it’s been a long time since we have been on a date,” Tina teased. “Maybe you are feeling a little anxious and all.”

“Me? Never.” Bette replied, hoping she was doing a good job hiding the tiny bit of anxiety she was starting to feel. “Don’t mistake being aroused with anxiety Tee.” A clever come back for Porter, one she was pleased with.

“Hmm…is that what it is?”

“Could be,” Bette teased back.

Tina sighed as she slipped her hand inside Bette’s leg. “I can see this night is going to be all about building up some sexual tension isn’t it?”

Bette glanced down at her leg before quickly returning her attention to the road. “Uh-huh…it seems that way.”

“Hopefully it’s going to also be about releasing it too,” Tina remarked candidly, once again squeezing Bette’s leg to confirm her intentions.

#

“Kinda weird isn’t it Mom?” Mark asked between a few tugs of beef off the stick.

“What is honey?”

“That Dad isn’t here.”

It was hard for Catherine to find difficulty in Jerry’s absence. She had been so overwhelmed with joy over the last several days that allowing grief to set in seemed impossible. However, she knew Mark didn’t have anything which had compensated for the loss he was feeling.

“It’s different Mark,” Catherine carefully replied, realizing that she may not have been paying as much attention to Mark as she should have since the funeral. “How are you feeling…about everything?”

“I miss him,” Mark admitted. “Seems weird to come home and see his car in the driveway all the time now…ya know?”

“I understand honey. It will take some time to get used to things feeling different. It’s okay to remember Dad, and talk about him whenever you want to...don’t forget that okay?”

Mark nodded in agreement before settling for some more pork fried rice.

#

Tina had been so wrapped up in the teasing which was occurring, that she hadn’t even realized Bette was driving towards the beach until she pulled into the open parking lot. “The beach! What a great idea!”

“I thought you would think so,” Bette smiled as she exited the car and headed to her trunk. “Would you mind carrying the comforter?”

“You brought a comforter?”

“Yep. I figured it would be nice to have something a little more comfy. I’ve come down here a few times when the tide’s been out and has left the sand pretty solid.”

“You’ve been here a few times?” Tina wondered who Bette had brought. “With who?”

“Myself,” Bette replied as she carried the picnic basket towards the sand. “Running…on the beach.”

“Oh…right. I forgot you liked to do that.”

“Hopefully you haven’t forgotten everything that I like,” Bette growled seductively. “Then I would have to teach you all over again.”

“Don’t tempt me into conveniently forgetting Porter…I just may like you teaching me.”

It was obvious that the sexual energy between the pair was growing by the minute. The question remained if they would be able to control themselves long enough to make it back home, or if the sand, ocean and stars above would bear witness to the consummation of their love.


	170. Chapter 170

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this...THREE chapters today! Now you ladies have nothing to complain about right? ;)

CHAPTER 170

“I’m happy the sand is soft.”

“It’s great!” Tina kicked off her sandals, allowing the sand to push through the space between her toes. “I missed a lot of fun this summer.” Truth be told, she had put so much effort into making things work with Eric, that she lost a great deal of time with her friends. Looking back, she could easily see that it shouldn’t have required the amount of effort that it had, in making a relationship work. 

“Never too late to make up for it,” Bette countered, placing the small radio she had brought on the blanket.

“True. I’ll tell you, just in the last 24 hours I’ve been feeling just that,” Tina winked at Bette as she bent to straighten a corner of the comforter. 

“Are you cold?” Bette asked as she placed the picnic basket down on one of the corners which the ocean breeze had taken control of. “I had a feeling it might be a little breezy down here.”

“I’m a bit cold, but it’s okay.” 

“No, it’s all good. In that oversized duffle bag I have a few sweatshirts.”

“You do?” Tina chuckled. “Such the girl scout.” As she unzipped the duffle bag, her smile grew. Inside she found a couple of sweatshirts, a blanket and two pillows. “Gee, what stopped you from bringing a blow up mattress babe?”

“Huh?” Bette turned to find Tina holding up a pillow in one hand and the blanket in the other. “Oh…well…you know, had I thought of it I probably would have hauled out the blow up mattress from the garage!”

“No doubt you would have.” Tina placed the blanket over her legs and dropped the pillow behind her. Both sweatshirts that she pulled from the bag had Stanford strewn across the front. “Hmph, guess these will have to do.”

“Sorry, didn’t think I would need to have any Berkeley ones.”

“It’s okay, it’s dark out. No one will see me.”

Bette laughed as she took a seat on the blanket beside Tina. “You should feel proud wearing a Cardinal sweatshirt.”

“Oh really?” Tina turned on her side, supporting herself on the underside of her forearm.

“Uh huh. Especially one that I’ve worn.”

“Well then, if you put it that way…”

Bette sat staring at the powerful ocean. It couldn’t be seen in the darkness, but the strength in the pounding waves made up for that which couldn’t be witnessed by her eyes. “It’s so strange at night isn’t it?”

Tina looked towards where she knew the ocean to be. “It is kinda odd. During the daytime, it’s just as fierce; but the light keeps things in perspective.”

“Sure does.”

Both women fell silent to one of nature’s magnificent wonders; the power of the salt water. When the song “Lucky” began filling the air, it caught Tina’s attention.

“I love that song.”

“Me too, that’s why it’s on my iPod.”

“Those radio’s that have that ability to plug your iPod in are great aren’t they?”

“Totally!” Bette agreed. “I don’t find myself using this radio too much, but it’s really cool to have that feature.”

Tina snuggled in closer to Bette. “It really is nice…feeling lucky to be in love with your best friend.”

Bette lowered herself to her side so she was now facing Tina. “There isn’t anything that compares.”

“Nothing,” Tina whispered. 

“People sometimes think that love has boundaries, but I don’t think it does. You should be able to enjoy doing things together even if it is just laying here like this, or shopping…going to the movies…taking a drive with no real destination in mind. It’s loving someone so much, that you love being in their company.”

“I agree, and also knowing that you both respect one another’s individual needs to spend with other people sometimes, or even just alone.”

“Exactly.”

As Colbie and Jason’s words challenged the sound of the ocean, Bette and Tina found themselves enjoying their private time together. Their discussion moved to how much they were going to look forward to returning to school this time around.

“I honestly can’t wait to get back to school,” Tina remarked, surprised with her desire to have the next few days pass quickly. “I am really looking forward to us bunking together.”

Bette felt the corner of her lip curl into a grin. “Can you believe it? You and I going to sleep each night in the same bed, and waking to one another every morning?’

Tina felt her heart flutter at the thought. “It’s so simple isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the simplicity of being together on the sofa watching a movie, brushing our teeth and heading to the same bed. The comfort of being in one another’s arms as we share our days experience and what will follow the next day when we wake.”

“You know, I guess you’re right. It doesn’t really seem so big a deal considering all you get out of it.”

“I wonder if everyone will ever get to feel that,” Tina questioned, her thoughts immediately thinking of Shane. “I hope that Shane gets to experience something so great like that.”

“I don’t know if that is the path she wants to follow Tee.”

“I try to understand, but I can’t seem to ever find myself relating to the distance she keeps. How can you ever really feel complete? Fulfilled?”

“For her maybe it does make her feel fulfilled….the safety of not committing to any one person. I think for Shane, keeping her heart safe is what gives her the most comfort. The vulnerability in sharing your heart with someone, completely…that may bring more internal conflict for her than calm.”

Tina shook her head. “It’s just hard to understand. She will have missed out on so much in terms of that real intimate connection of waking to the person she wants to keep in her life every day.”

“It’s hard to understand because you are different than her. Shane is more willing to risk losing someone she may love because she doesn’t want to make a commitment than to actually make that solid promise to be faithful to one person.”

Tina stared into Bette’s eyes. “I don’t ever want to risk losing you…ever.”

Bette smiled. The words meant a lot to her. She knew that she had been blessed by having a second chance with Tina. Though it had not been any fault of her own as to why things had ended in the first place, she was fortunate that the walls she had put up had remained fragile enough to crumble; allowing Tina a chance to reconcile things and return to her.

Before she could oppose; not that she would have, Tina leaned in and pressed her soft lips against the brunettes. The evidence of salt was discovered the moment their tongues passed against the other’s lips to a darker passage. Their hands tentatively touched one another underneath the blanket which was covering their bodies.

In between kisses and the need to return a full breath of air to their lungs, they professed how much they loved one another, as well as how strong the desire was to make love right there on the beach.

#

While Mark succumbed to a few hearty laughs that an old Seinfeld episode was garnering, Catherine had just entered the living room with a fresh cup of tea. Taking a seat on the sofa, she waited the ten minutes until the show ended before turning the television off to begin a very important conversation with Mark.

“What’s up Mom?”

“I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things…..”


	171. Chapter 171

CHAPTER 171

“Oh…what did I do now?”

“You didn’t do anything. It’s not really about you as much as it is about me.”

Mark was curious. “Are you sick?”

“No, not at all,” Catherine reassured. “I’m in good health…least that is what the doctor told me during my physical a few months ago.”

“Cool. So what’s up?”

Catherine felt extremely nervous. She knew she didn’t need to explain everything to Mark, but she felt concerned that he could learn of her relationship with Maggie from other sources; in the end he could resent her for not being the one to discuss it with him first. But, was it still too early? In many ways she felt it was…

“You know my friend Mags…the one you met?”

“Mags…right…kind of weird, her name that is.” Mark replied bluntly. “Timmy has a dog named Mags!”

“Oh…great. Well rest assured that she isn’t a dog.”

Mark smirked as his foot rolled over the basketball that he was distracting himself with by the sofa. “What about her?”

“I already told you how she and I went to college, and that we were the best of friends. That hasn’t changed over the years….even if we had lost touch for some time.” Gauging from Mark’s expression, it didn’t seem like he was that concerned…so far.

“Okay…so?”

“Well, she … she will probably be around here a lot Mark.”

In typical adolescent fashion, Mark wasn’t overly concerned about his mother’s life, as he was about getting back outside to play basketball. “Okayyyyy….who cares?”

“Well I just want you to know that…that she may...” Catherine wasn’t sure how she was going to get away with having Mags stay overnight, or she over to Maggie’s house. “…if it’s really late some nights, she may just stay over.”

Mark squinted his eyes, in a way which made Catherine believe he may have started to piece things together. “Stay overnight? Why? Why wouldn’t she just go home? Is she married? Does she have any kids?”

Catherine was taken back by the sudden inquiries. Where had the casual boy who had just been sitting there seconds earlier gone? “She is widowed like me. She has one daughter, who you will be meeting tomorrow. We are going to have a little cookout here so you and your sister can meet her.”

“Why do I have to meet her kid? That’s weird. We never did that on purpose with your other friends…I mean, we just met them when we ended up meeting them by accident or something. We never had a party just to meet. What gives?”

“Well it would be nice for you all to know each other a little bit…especially where Mags will be in my life for a long time. I’ve gotten really close to her again over the past week Mark, and…we…we are just VERY close and will likely be spending quite a bit of time together…her here, and me at her place.”

Mark was a pretty sharp boy, and had already established how blunt he could be. “Are you and her girlfriends Mom?”

Catherine wasn’t sure in what way her son was defining the word ‘girlfriends.’ “What do you mean?”

“Are you tapping her?”

Catherine’s eyes widened, shocked by Mark’s sharp tongue. “Mark, that is none of your business…we—”

“I mean Tina’s a lesbian,” Mark interrupted, “ And she must have inherited it from someone; totally wasn’t Dad cause he was a pretty big homophobe.”

Catherine remained stunned by the direct question and wasn’t sure if she should use the opportunity to share the genuine truth or to try to delay it until there was more time in which she and Mags were together. She still feared a backlash from Mark if she confirmed that in this short time since his father’s death, she had found herself moving on….with a woman no less.

“Mark, all I am saying right now is that Maggie is one of the most important people in my life, after you and your sister. She has been helping me with many things over the past week. I just wanted you to know that she would be spending a lot more time with me, and …well I just felt you should know that.”

“Okay,” Mark said sheepishly, sensing the sudden discomfort from his mother. 

“That is about all I am willing to share with you right now. I hope you don’t feel left out, but there are things I just cannot discuss right now Mark.”

“It’s cool Mom. Can I go outside and play basketball?”

“It’s dark out.”

“I’ll put the back lights on…they light up the driveway really well.”

“Alright…” 

Catherine watched as her son left the living room with the basketball that he had kept himself distracted with for a good part of the time he had been sitting on the sofa.

#

Tina’s stomach muscles tightened the moment she felt Bette’s fingertips travel under her shirt; something Bette sensed along with the emerging goose bumps that were forming as her hand slowly embarked upward.

“Mmmm,” Tina moaned as she lay back against the pillow. “That feels nice,” she admitted, all the time hoping that Bette would continue a slow pace as they made love. She knew that this moment was crucial in how they were returning back to one another. It was about both of them feeling sure where the other was in this relationship, and the slow journey in consummating their love was central for a successful bond to form.

Bette shifted so her leg slipped between Tina’s. Their bare feet brushed across one another as Bette’s mouth explored the soft skin beneath Tina’s ear. Her fingers slid to Tina’s side, relishing in rediscovering every curve of Tina’s body once again. It had been a little over a year that they had parted, but it felt more like a lifetime apart. She had a difficult time refraining from placing a call to Tina each time something significant occurred, or even that which was trivial. Tina had been her best friend, and the first person she phoned whenever she wanted to talk about what was going on with her family, at school, her friends, and life in general. 

Tina snaked one hand under Bette’s shirt, allowing her fingernails to graze the skin on the brunette’s back. The unexpected gesture prompted a moan from Bette, who’s lips had started an unlawful assault on Tina’s mouth; something which the blonde had not showed any resistance. 

Their tongues seemed to take on a whole life of their own as they slipped to and from the other. The curls, the probes, the smooth drive between both had started a slight fire. They had kissed in recent days…hell they used to have some damn hot encounters when they were together the first time around, but this time…this time it was different. The urgency was mixed with a love that had stood the test of time, the test of expectations, and the test of one another’s love. There was such an unbelievable level of trust, sense of commitment, and strong certainty which formed this time around, that it could be seen in how their bodies were processing their emotional well being in a physical way. 

As Bette’s hand further advanced along Tina’s side, she discovered an absence of material that would have been in the exact location her hand was had the blonde been wearing a bra. Aware her hand was only inches from touching the bare skin of Tina’s breast, caused Bette to twist her brows in recognition. 

Tina groaned in opposition as Bette pulled her lips from her. She felt the brunette’s hand closing in on her breast; their eyes locked with one another as Bette stared down at her in a fashion that appeared to be requesting permission. 

Tina nodded her approval and followed it with a whisper, “Please…touch me.”

The moment that Bette’s palm covered Tina’s breast, both women inhaled an elated breath, completely appreciative of how valuable it was for Tina to be offering her body to Bette, and for Bette to be respecting the significance of that offer and what they would be sharing through the night.


	172. Chapter 172

CHAPTER 172

The stiff flesh that pressed against Bette’s palm was intoxicating. It had felt like years since she had felt Tina’s body. For Tina…the touch from someone whom you are completely in love with defined every difference in what she had felt with each partner she had during the previous year. 

The clothes had become an unnecessary barrier for both women who were eager to feel their own flesh pressed against the other. Bette pushed the blanket back, then straddled Tina, allowing the blonde to raise her body just enough to pull her shirt off. Bette quickly followed, discarding her shirt to the blanket next to Tina’s.

Tina’s eyes were immediately drawn to Bette’s exposed chest. Her hands reached for the button which secured the brunette’s pants, but was quickly dismissed by Bette lowering her body down. 

The light breeze from Bette’s mouth as it closed in on Tina’s breast, prompted the blonde to arch her body upward, hoping to make contact before Bette had intended. The smell of the ocean air blended with the unique scent that was Tina. With her mouth less than an inch from the waiting protrusion, Bette closed her eyes and covered Tina’s nipple with her mouth. 

The moment Tina felt Bette’s mouth take her nipple, her fingernails clenched Bette’s bare back. The feeling was intense, more than she remembered feeling for a very long time. “Oh Beeeeeette…” The name had lingered on her lips as she welcomed the ever growing urgency that was building inside her body and settling in that one area where she wanted to feel Bette most.

For Bette, this moment differed greatly from that which they experienced in the woods the other day. There was so much uncertainty that had existed between the two women, particularly where she felt Tina would be embarking on a lifetime commitment with Eric. That uncertainty clouded the depth of what she knew she should have been allowed to feel, but it wasn’t anything she was able to control, for at that time, Tina wasn’t making any commitment towards her. No, this time…this time it was all about making love and sharing everything they possibly could with one another.

#

Jan could see the tension building as Helena spoke with her mother by phone. Clearly the Brit was considerably concerned with why her mother had hid such a huge part of herself, and couldn’t seem to get beyond the secret her mother had held for so long. She remained on the sofa as she watched Helena’s gestures through the glass pane of the slider.

“I’m not up to meeting this woman’s daughter.”

“It’s not just her daughter, it is her son as well.”

“What? She has two kids?” Helena couldn’t believe there were more secrets. “When were you going to tell me that?”

“I didn’t think it was that important to share her entire family profile with you Helena. I figured that you would find out soon enough tomorrow.”

Helena tightened her hand around the phone. “Mother, I’ve had this bloody headache that I can’t seem to shake…I just would rather do this another time. I’m not ready for this right now to be quite honest, I’m still digesting all your other secrets.”

“Helena Peabody, you listen to me; I have not asked you for much in my life, but this I am not bending. If you have to take some aspirin for your so called headache then you do so, but I won’t take no for an answer!”

“Do you not understand that I won’t be such good company for anyone if I’m not feeling well enough to meet these people?”

Peggy wasn’t going to accept anything less than a guarantee that Helena was going to be there, and to be graceful and accommodating. “I won’t repeat myself.”

“Mother, please….you don’t –“ Suddenly the phone went silent. “Mother…Mother!” Helena flipped her phone shut, realizing her mother had ended the call in the middle of her sentence. “Bloody fucking hell!”

Helena proceeded into the apartment, sliding the door hard behind her.

“Hel, what’s going on?” Jan inquired.

“I cannot stand when my mother is so damn controlling and filled with all these crazy expectations. If she wants to resume a relationship with her former lover, then why on earth must I be required to meet the family?!”

“She probably just wants you to recognize this woman and how important she is to her.”

“Overnight? I mean Christ Jan, I just learn of this-“

“Babe, you need to relax…let it go.”

“Let it go!?”

“Yes, let it go. It’s your mother’s life. I doubt you are even going to be involved as much as you might think once she gets her groove back on with this lady of hers. How often do you honestly think you will be required to be gather as a whole family?”

“Family? No…no they are not family Jan. They are just the children of the women that my mother happens to have some feelings for. If it didn’t work out when they were younger and in college, then it probably isn’t going to work out now.”

“And that may be true. There is a lot you don’t know about this relationship that your mom was in, so don’t freak out over it until you know exactly how serious she is. Just because she wants you to meet the woman and her kids doesn’t mean she is going to be u-hauling.”

“I bloody hope not.” Helena poured herself a scotch and took a generous sip before taking a seat on the sofa. “I’m not a hypocrite…truly I’m not. It’s just…this is so much to take in all at once.”

“I know it is. Just appease her for now okay? You have your own place, and nothing that happens between she and her girlfriend should end up impacting you in the least. Live and let live right?”

Helena rolled her eyes. “There is a lot at stake…”

“Like?”

“Millions of dollars. Right now, I’m the sole inheritor of all of it.” Helena returned the glass of scotch to her lips as she stared blankly at the distant wall.

#

Their panties had finally joined the rest of the pile of clothing that had become increasingly larger with each minute that passed. With no fabric remaining between their bodies, they felt a sense of freedom overtake them. 

Bette’s skillful hand traced the curve of Tina’s hip until it rested on her thigh. Her mouth had continued placing light kisses across the blonde’s abdomen as she descended. Tina shuddered every time Bette’s lips found a delicate spot on her side. She couldn’t help but weave both hands through the thick silky curls that were Bette’s signature style. She gently pushed at the top of Bette’s head, hoping to encourage the brunette towards her center which was growing tighter with every new stroke brought by Bette’s re-engaging hand.

Bette looked up at Tina, making eye contact with the blonde who’s face showed proof of how aroused she had become. 

“How do you want me to make love to you Tina?”

“Any way you want baby. I just need to feel you…all over me…now.”

Bette’s eyes remained on Tina as she moved her body so her face was now near her pelvic bone. She could feel the blonde bend her knees and drop them to the side, allowing her as much freedom as she wanted to fully explore. She was giving all of herself to Bette, and it wasn’t something Bette took lightly; it meant the world to her.

“I love you TK…” Bette whispered as her fingers traced a path down Tina’s groin. “So much…” her fingers inched further, closing in on the exceedingly moist center. “Mmmmmmmm,” Bette groaned the moment her fingertips felt the first sign of just how aroused her lover had become…


	173. Chapter 173

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow...lookey here how generous I am.

CHAPTER 173

Tina’s hips arched the instant she felt Bette’s slender fingers slide inside her. The tight muscles immediately clenched the fingers that began a gentle rhythm with the goal of providing as much gratification as possible. 

“Ohhmmm…baby….suck my clit,” Tina begged, finding herself completely lost in the pleasure which started the moment she felt Bette’s skin on her own. “Pleeeease….”

Bette was overcome with emotion as Tina’s soaked and swollen core grabbed onto her fingers as she continued moving them inside. The feeling of being that intimate, that close to the one you adore as you made love was one of the most intense feelings ever to be experienced. As Tina’s verbal pleas for more challenged the crashing surf, Bette no longer waited; she brought her mouth to Tina’s clit and seized ownership with just her mouth. Inside, her tongue swept up and down, then side to side as the blonde responded by raising her hips to and from, matching the rhythm within.

“Oh fuuuuuck,” Tina groaned wildly, her emotional and physical senses gone awry from the abandonment of all walls, barriers, and rules as her best friend and lover once again reacquainted herself with her body. The only thing better, was to be pleasing Bette at the same time. She reached down, attempting to garner Bette’s attention so they could do just that. Bette however, was too engrossed in the taste and smooth texture of Tina’s engorged clit, along with her desire to bring her lover to climax, that she was oblivious of Tina’s attempts to gain her attention.

“Mmmm…” Bette moaned into Tina’s center as her tongue continued to ravage her.

“Be…Bette…” Tina whispered to no avail. “Babe…let’s do this…together.” She was finally able to get it out, and feel the success of her attempt when Bette pulled her mouth away from her. 

“What?”

Tina’s face was flushed, though the dark sky above wouldn’t reveal such a state. “I want us to come together.”

“Come together…” Bette repeated aloud as her fingers continued to thrust in and out of Tina, at a bit of a slower pace. She remained considerably turned on by the expressions she was able to draw from the blonde as she continued to please her while they spoke. 

“Uh-huh.” Tina’s lashes fluttered as she attempted to keep her lids open.

“You do huh?”

Nodding, she hoped to convince Bette and allow them to get back to business. “I do…very much so.”

Bette smiled, licking her lips but keeping her fingers inside of the blonde as she scooted her body in towards Tina, who raised herself from the pillow.

“How do you want to do that?” Bette asked.

“We could sixty-nine…or…we could…” Tina said as she reached her hand around Bette’s forearm to between her legs. Bette inhaled a sharp breath the moment she felt Tina’s fingers slip between her wet lips. “…do it this way.”

“Fuck,” Bette murmured.

“You are soooo wet baby,” Tina noted, feeling Bette’s legs bend over her own to allow easier access to her pussy. Now sitting and facing one another, they allowed their fingers to do the talking.

As Bette’s fingers increased the rhythm she had started moments earlier, Tina’s begun the same. Both women found the other to be equally sodden by their arousal, and as if in tune, each brought their saturated thumb to the others’ clit and began making differing patterns on this rather swollen part of their bodies, but drawing out an equivalent response all the same.

Their attempts to kiss challenged each, as their breaths and moans compounded their ability to keep their mouths pressed against the others’. Every other stab at doing so was a success, but only for a few seconds before one or both gasped or arched, breaking contact. 

When their mouths weren’t touching, their free hand squeezed a breast, grabbed an ass cheek, or snaked through the thick head of hair that was easily in their reach. What was suppose to have been a chilly evening, was dismissed by the growing heat between their bodies and the sweat that had strategically formed in furtive places. 

“So fucking tight!” Tina screamed as her climax further grew. Was it a disclosure of what she was feeling within her own body or that of Bette’s? It wasn’t going to matter, for they were closing in on the impending orgasms that awaited.

As the powerful ocean continued pounding the sand with each breaking wave, the women were lost in their own thunderous symphony. Their fingers, hands and mouth spoke to one another in a language all of their own. Their hearts raced, centers tightened, and breaths were labored from mild exhaustion. Attempting to lose yourself in your own pleasure was one thing, but to receive all of that while trying to contribute equally to your partner simultaneously was a process that drew every bit of stamina, energy and concentration.

“Jeeesus,” Bette winced as she felt her core starting to tighten more and more as she pumped her fingers vigorously in and out of Tina. The blondes’ nails pierced her mocha skin as Tina felt herself preparing to roll into a mind blowing orgasm.

“I’m……..” Tina arched her head back, “gonna commmmmme.” She shrieked aloud, projecting her words into the dark night as her body accepted the final seconds just before she rolled into an exceptional orgasm; her fingers slowing it’s drive in and out of Bette as her body and mind became separate, losing most of the concentration she was giving to pleasing her.

Bette felt her lover bear down hard around her fingers the moment she came, followed by a generous amount of fluid that seeped around each finger that remained still inside, accepting the contractions of Tina’s muscles; proving the aftershocks that followed were intense. 

“Oh fuck….fuck I…love…you so…much,” Bette professed aloud; a response to both the undeniable satisfaction of making love to this beautiful woman, as well as feeling the skillful fingers of the blonde who had remained insider her, re-establishing a faster pace once again.

The blonde had appeared completely wasted, drained of most of her energy, but it didn’t stop her from continuing her goal of bringing Bette over the edge. She knew Bette loved when she talked dirty, often a huge advantage when it came to foreplay. As her own aftershocks continued to move through her, she focused more on Bette than herself.

“Fuck, your pussy is so damn tight…..you like me fucking you hard don’t you?” Tina knew she wasn’t going to receive much feedback, for Bette was quickly approaching that very place that she had just gone to herself. “Come for me baby…you know you want to come…fuck I want to taste you so bad…my face buried in your center…”

The words only escalated Bette’s climax until she felt her insides clamp around Tina’s fingers so they could no longer move, allowing only a few additional sweeps of Tina’s thumb across her clit before the orgasm ripped through her body. “Ohhhhh Teeeeeeee,” she screamed freely.

Bette collapsed onto Tina’s shoulder, her fingers still inside her lovers as was Tina’s in her. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling; her breaths labored. In this moment, there was silence between them…the only sound permeating their connection was the ocean which had kept a fairly continuous beat throughout. Yet…was there really a silence at all? They had joined their bodies together as a symbol of their genuine love and desire to consummate that union between two lovers where words were no longer necessary. Bette and Tina had found one another again, in a world which wasn’t always so forgiving. Through discrimination, bigotry, sexual confusion, adolescence, geographical distance, and the various lovers that filled the space between what they once were and this day itself; they showed how incredibly strong their love for one another remained, and though it had taken them several steps outside the path they had been walking on, they realized in a shorter time than most people, they in fact were…one another’s ‘no other love.’


	174. Chapter 174

CHAPTER 174

Tina felt safe wrapped tightly in Bette’s arms. The chill from the ocean air wasn’t penetrating them in the least, for their body heat and the blanket that covered them provided a barrier of protection against the elements.

“I love you so much Bette,” Tina whispered against her lover’s chest. “So much…”

“I love you too Tee.” Bette couldn’t imagine being any other place in the world, than right there with Tina.

“This has always been something I missed with us,” Tina unreservedly admitted. “The closeness after we made love.”

Bette smiled, relating completely to that sentiment. “Indeed it’s always been something unique…I’ve never felt such a bond so deep with anyone else as I have with you.”

The admission caused Tina to snuggle further into the brunette. “I’m glad…it’s never been something I found in anyone else either. It’s because we are meant to be together.”

“It’s because it’s right. It feels right, even if it may contradict what some in this world believe is appropriate, how can you ever deny what it feels like when you are like this…making love with the person you are completely in love with, and sharing that lingering emotional connection afterwards?”

“You can’t. It can’t be denied.”

“I am so thankful that we stopped the denying,” Bette declared, stroking Tina’s hair the whole time. “You can try your best to hide what you feel, or how you want to love, but in the end it leaves you miserable, alone, and unfulfilled. Right now Tina, I feel like I am high on life. I have all I want…absolutely everything in my arms right now.”

Tina smiled big as she lifted her head to look at Bette. “You are incredibly sweet you know that?”

Bette leaned in and kissed Tina’s lips. “I know.”

“I’m serious,” Tina quipped. “You have this enormous heart that just keeps on loving. I am so lucky that the woman I fell in love with was willing to never give up on us.” Tina pulled away slightly, turning so she rested on her stomach. Propped on her forearms she studied Bette’s face. “You know that song by Marc Anthony…the one You Sang To Me?”

“I do…I love that song.”

“There are parts in that song that hit me when I was listening to them this afternoon. They reminded me of you.” Tina slid closer to Bette, her fingers playing with her hair. “The part that says ‘oh of all the words you sang to me, about life the truth and being free,’ I really felt that. I really felt those words when I heard them today, because it felt like I could have been singing that song to you.”

“You did all the work Tee.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you Bette. Without your love, your patience and resilience. No matter who came along, you never gave them your entire heart. You held onto it…kept it close.”

“It wasn’t theirs to have.” Bette’s words warmed Tina’s heart, stirring a bit of emotion which Bette noticed. “Hey know…”

“I’m sorry. I just…I feel like I put you through so much unnecessary shit.”

“Tee-“ Bette started before she found herself cut off.

“No babe…don’t. It’s true. You know, for a brief moment I knew how you had to have felt when I wasn’t sure of anything; when I chose to date Johnny rather than stay in our relationship. It took a while, but the day I saw you with Jan…moving on…it was hard. I felt like I fucked up so bad, that I lost something incredible and I had no one to blame by myself. You had given me that chance to be with you, and … well I just needed to know for sure, what it was I was feeling.”

“I understand,” Bette said softly, sliding her hand along the curve of Tina’s face.

Tina gasped as she exhaled a breath of emotion, a tear falling upon Bette. “See…that’s what I mean, that is what makes this harder for me sometimes-“ 

“What does?”

“Your kindness. That way about you that just tells me it’s okay when in fact none of it was okay Bette. Most would have told me to go get stuffed and walked away. You didn’t….you stayed. You may not have been right there beside me, but in many ways you … you never really left.”

“Tee,” Bette started as she rose slightly and propped herself on her elbow. “The only way we can look towards a better and brighter future together, is to let go of the some of the past that is particularly painful. It doesn’t do either of us any good to hold onto any of it. What do you hope to accomplish? Punishing yourself silly over some mistakes? TK, life is about mistakes. It’s what you do after you know you made one which defines who you are.” Bette stared at her lover for a moment before she continued. “Tee…I remember reading somewhere in an e-mail I received around the turn of the new year. It said something like, there comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, and who won’t anymore…and also who always will. It goes on to say not to worry about people from your past because there is a reason they didn’t make it to your future. The same goes for old mistakes…the reason they don’t make it to the future with you is because you have to keep them in the past babe.”

Tina remained hesitant, occasionally making eye contact when she wasn’t wiping a stray tear from the cheek of her face.

“Sweetie, you were so strong the other day when you chose to make up your own mind about what you wanted for yourself. You recognized that your place with Eric wasn’t something that you found the most happiest in. You knew the feelings you still held, not just for a woman, but for me.”

“Totally,” Tina expressed, her voice cracking.

“I know that resisting the wishes of your father was indescribably difficult. Yet, you followed your own compass…not one set by your father, or Eric, or anyone else. You listened to your heart Tina, and for that I’ll always be grateful.”

Bette wiped the last streak of water from Tina’s cheek before sliding her hand behind the blonde’s neck and pulling her towards her. With their faces less than six inches apart, Bette continued to profess her love. “Some may say we are still too young to know who we are in love with, or what love is at all…to them I say ‘shame on you’ because I know what is my heart…there is no cure for this kind of love, except to fully embrace it and commit to creating the greatest future possible.”

Tina tilted her head as she felt Bette’s hand pull her in for a deep kiss. Their tongues playfully snaked around the other as they once again found their bodies easily responding to the other. In no time, they were once more lost in the art of making love.

#

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh as Cookie explained the conversation she had earlier that night with Mark. “Oh dear, he is quite the young man Cookie.”

“You think?”

“I wonder what he would have said if you told him that I am in fact tapping that fine ass of yours.” Peggy snickered at Cookie’s anticipated response.

“Gosh Mags…” her voice laced with bashfulness.

“Dear, clearly he is keeping up with the times for a young teen. In fact, have you spoken to him about his underwear in the sofa?”

“No, I haven’t. I’ll do that soon though. There has to be a reasonable explanation,” Catherine hoped aloud.

“Of course there is, he was tapping someone on your living room sofa!” Peggy roared with laughter.

“Mags! It’s not really that funny. What if he is having sex? I mean....I’m not even aware that Jerry had ‘the talk’ with him.”

“Darling if you don’t know whether your husband taught him about the birds and the bees, then you best get to that sooner than later. The last thing you need is to be tied down raising a baby right now.”

The words had a hint of conjecture in them. “What do you mean…now?”

“Well would you?”

“No, I mean I’m not prepared to become a grandparent right now. It would end up being a full time job, if it were to happen to any one of my children.”

“Not to mention,” Peggy quickly added, “We wouldn’t be able to go on a cruise next summer.”

“Cruise?”

“Cookie dear, let me explain something…your life as you have known it…it’s in the past. I plan on spoiling you absolutely rotten with the luxuries of living good.”

“Mags, absolutely not. I wouldn’t feel—“

“I insist. Listen to me darling, I have more money than I could ever possibly spend…not in this life, and not if I was a cat with nine lives.”

“You have a daughter to consider.”

“Helena will be fine. I have a substantial amount of money in a trust for her.”

“You are awful generous Mags.”

“There is no way I can take it all with me Cookie. If I can help make your life a little easier for you, and we can have a great time blowing it in the process….well hell girl I say let’s do it up!”

Being cared for in a way which showed so much sincerity and willingness to ensure her comfort and peace of mind was something that Catherine wasn’t accustomed to. Jerry took care of many things in their marriage, but there was a difference. With Jerry, it had become a tool of power…dominance. It was his way of reminding his wife who the boss was, the ultimate decision maker, the one who paid for things but did so because it helped inflate his self esteem and position in the family. Peggy on the other hand, she wanted to take care of Catherine out of love. To show her a more comfortable way of life, and though money was at the root of that, it wasn’t there as in imbalance in their relationship.


	175. Chapter 175

CHAPTER 175

Tina’s toes twitched in response to the cold sensation she suddenly felt. Lifting her head to see what it was that woke her so unexpectedly, she was alarmed to find both the morning sun shining bright and the ocean tide upon them. “Fuck! Bette…get up!”

Bette mumbled something inaudible as she continued to sleep.

“The tide is coming in!” Tina yelled out loud, quickly scanning the beach for life as she scurried to get her clothes on.

“Huh?”

“The tide,” Tina blurted out while she struggled with her bra. 

“Shit.” Bette grabbed for her clothes and following Tina’s lead, she began getting herself dressed as she pulled at the blankets, hoping to add more space between the foaming remnants of ocean water that was sneaking towards the fabric of the blanket. “I can’t believe we slept all night here.”

Tina was the first dressed, and began grabbing the more important items; the radio, iPod, and picnic basket were the items she was quick to retrieve. In a short time Bette had grabbed the blankets, pulling them completely away from the ocean water.

“Good thing you woke up Tee.”

“The water had hit my toes. I was dreaming that I was putting my feet into the pool at my house, so I didn’t realize what was happening at first.”

Bette laughed. “Well at least you didn’t think you were peeing.”

“Ha-Ha Porter. You would have woken in a pool of –“

“I know, no details please.”

Bette held the blankets out, allowing the breeze to shake the sand from them as she followed behind Tina. 

Once they arrived at the car, they placed the items inside the trunk and were on their way.

“Do you want me to drop you off at your house, and I’ll just meet you there around 11am?”

“Yeah, that would work. I want to take a shower and put myself together a bit before I help Mom.”

“Sounds good.” Bette reached for Tina’s hand, content to be touching her.

“I had a great time last night Bette.”

“I did too babe.” Bette felt Tina’s thumb slowly slide across the top of her hand. 

“Are you okay with the fact we had sex,” Tina asked.

“Absolutely,” Bette answered without delay.

Tina smiled, tightening the grip around Bette’s hand. “I’m glad.” With her free hand, she reached forward and turned the radio up. As Janet Jackson filled the car, both women were as happy as they could be. They returned to one another, and in that journey they discovered how deep their love was and how true love never really does die…in fact, it only grows deeper.

#

When Mags pulled into the driveway, Mark stopped dribbling the basketball and rested it between his arm and hip. He watched as the exquisite woman exited her car and pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. 

“Hello Mark.”

“Hi.”

“Playing ball?”

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Done helping Mom?”

Mark smirked. “I’m trying to avoid her actually.”

Peggy formed a sly grin. “And why is that?”

“She keeps getting on my back about my hair.” Mark jerked his head to the side, ensuring his bangs weren’t covering his eyes before he states his case. “All the kids at school wear their hair long…mine isn’t really that long anyway.”

Peggy arched a brow. “You wouldn’t want to be confused with being a girl would you?”

“Heck no.”

“Then you may want to think about having it trimmed a little bit.”

Marked nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. “You really think someone will think I’m a girl?”

“Never know,” Peggy replied with a trace of uncertainty, adding to Mark’s fears. “If it were me, I think I’d play it safe and just get my hair cut.”

“But I don’t want the guys to think I’m a dweeb having it short.”

“Well, maybe you could take about an inch off just to neaten it up a bit, and then gradually go shorter each time you get your hair cut.”

Mark appeared to be weighing that suggestion as Peggy continued into the house.

#

“That chick is loaded,” Bette noted as she pulled into the driveway behind Peggy’s car. “I mean REALLY loaded.”

“I know, that car is sweet isn’t it?”

“Totally.”

“It’s kind of weird ya know?”

“What is?”

“This woman Mags, she is so rich and refined. My mom, I love her to death but you know, she has always lived a pretty simple life and all. It’s just kind of strange that they have such a strong connection still where their lives obviously took a whole different path after college.”

“True, but no matter how rich or poor you are, or how young or old, love doesn’t always come in a neat package. It doesn’t always fit like some perfect puzzle.” Tina listened intently as Bette continued her philosophical explanation, “The reason it probably works for them is because they are like the opposite poles. The simplicity of one woman balances the extravagancy of the other. In a lot of ways, they have a lot to each one another because each has lived such a different life.”

“Seriously Bette, do you honestly think that Mags is going to be interested in the simple things? Look at that car? Is that simple?”

Bette pondered the question, but not for long. “You would be surprised Tee. I honestly think that your mom will be able to bring a whole different view of things.” When she saw the continued confusion in Tina’s face, Bette continued, “Okay, let’s put it this way…Mags is probably used to eating out a lot, and not just anywhere right?”

“Uh huh, I would imagine so.”

“So, think about how romantic it can be to stay at home and make dinner together…stealing a kiss in between cutting up vegetables for the salad…sneaking a touch here and there as you pass one another….taking a small sample of food and playfully offering it to the other before you continue to put the meal together.”

Tina smiled as the image continued to take on form in her head.

“All that not to mention the privacy you have when it is time to sit down and share the meal that you both made.”

“With no waitress constantly interrupting,” Tina added.

“Yep, no waitress…no worrying about having that extra glass of wine and having to drive home.”

“You paint a really romantic picture…I look forward to us eating in…a lot.” Tina arched a brow before leaning over and taking hold of Bette’s face. “I love you so fucking much,” She said before planting a deep kiss on her lips.


	176. Chapter 176

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only 9 chapters left after this one....

CHAPTER 176

When he heard the car door close, Mark stood from the bottom step. 

“Hey little brother,” Tina said as she walked towards the steps. 

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Not much. Mom’s girlfriend is here.”

Tina wasn’t sure how much Mark knew about Maggie, or how he was using the term girlfriend. “What do you mean girlfriend?”

“Her girlfriend ya dork, like your girlfriend Bette.”

Tina smirked as she leaned against the railing. “Ahhh, so you know huh?”

“Yep. Mom was acting all goofy last night trying to spit it out…so I tried to help her.”

“Help her?”

“I asked her if she was tapping her ass.”

“You what?!” Tina was shocked, but couldn’t help but laugh at the same time. “Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“What did Mom say?”

“She got all flustered and started telling me that some things weren’t my business and all. I’m not stupid.”

“Uh huh. So…how do you feel about that?”

“About Mom shagging another woman?”

Tina shook her head at Mark’s candor. ‘Yes…that.”

“I don’t much care. She seems nice enough. You think she’ll take me for a ride in this machine of hers?” Mark stared at the shiny black sports car.

“Maybe…can’t see why not.” Tina’s eyes followed Marks. “I’m glad you aren’t upset about Mom.”

“Why would I be?”

“I don’t know. I guess…well we both know how homophobic Dad was and all.”

“Yeah, the only thing I don’t get…well it doesn’t matter.” Mark stopped abruptly, prompting Tina’s curiosity.   
“What? What don’t you get?”

“It’s just…well you didn’t really ever like guys. I mean, you only dated Bette, and then that other crack head Johnny Do-Nothing for a little while…”

Tina chuckled at the reference to Johnny. “Uh huh.”

“Well Mom has been with Dad all our life. What’s up with that? I mean, it’s just strange…you wake up and decide to try something different?”

It was a valid question. Mark had only seen his mother with one person, and that was his father. It would be odd enough to see her move on with another man, not to mention someone of the same sex.

“Well, see…sometimes someone can have feelings and not really admit them, so they end up just living their life a certain way and they get used to it. Then suddenly one day, they realize that they aren’t really living their own life for themselves…that in some ways…in some ways they are living their lives to please other people.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…you know when I was seeing Johnny and all?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I wasn’t really in love with him or anything.”

“Then why did you go out with him?”

“I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing. I was confused and things happened in my life, things that…well things that you don’t need to know about, but they ended up making me question my attractions. As for Johnny, I just had to see if I liked boys.”

“But you liked Bette.”

“Yeah, I did…and I still do, very much so.”

“Then why would you have to see if you liked boys…you either do or don’t right?”

“Sometimes it’s not that simple Mark. It didn’t help that Dad was totally against homosexual relationships. I tried very hard to please him, and make him accept my life. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to accept me unless I was in a lifestyle that he could accept. Because of that, I began questioning what was most important….my relationship with Dad or…or my life.”

“He was kind of mean like that,” Mark remarked.

“I think as far as Mom goes, she may have liked women as well as men and it just ended up that she and Mags didn’t really have a chance to be together when they were in college…least not for a very long time. However, even though many years have passed by, they found they still had a lot of feelings for one another.”

“So you mean, Mom likes women and men…like the same amount?”

“I don’t know for sure, but there are people who do. They are called bisexuals…meaning they have an attraction to both men or women.”

“That’s weird.”

It amused Tina that her brother could accept those who liked one gender or were straight, but couldn’t seem to grasp the idea of liking both.

“Well, there are some lesbians and gays who don’t exactly agree with it either, but it can happen. It isn’t necessary an ‘equal’ attraction down the middle, but it can exist. I have a friend in college, Maureen. She identifies herself as being bisexual, but she says that she is more attracted to women than men. She tells me it’s the 80/20 rule. Eighy percent of the time she is attracted to women and twenty percent she is attracted to men.”

“Just seems kind of strange that you can like dick and pussy.” Mark’s age showed. He was a growing adolescent who was fairly bold and crass as he expressed his confusion and opinion.

“Well…let’s just say it happens.” With that, Tina tapped the top of Mark’s head and retreated to the kitchen.

#

Inside, Tina found Mags and Catherine cutting up a large antipasto. Oddly enough, the image before her mimicked a lot of what Bette had said earlier. They appeared to be having a lot of fun taking turns adding different things to the salad, totally oblivious to the fact she had even entered the house.

“Ahem.” Tina purposely cleared her throat, causing both ladies to turn from the growing antipasto.

“Tina, I didn’t hear you.”

“Hi Mom…Mags, looks like the antipasto could feed an army.

“Mags insisted on adding olives, so I take no blame for them being in there.”

Tina smirked at Mags who was offering the most innocent of faces. “Do you need some help with stuff?”

Catherine looked out the kitchen window to the pool. “Well…if you wouldn’t mind taking the small hand broom to the cushions on the loungers and chairs, that would be a big help. Tell your brother that I would like him to help you with getting the poolside cleaned up a bit.”

“Okay.” Before heading back out, Tina paused for a moment to watch her mother and Mags as they turned their attention back to the food preparation. She felt a warm sensation wash over her as she appreciated where both her mother and she herself were in their lives.


	177. Chapter 177

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a few more chapters... Enjoy everyone!

CHAPTER 177

Later that afternoon, Bette arrived earlier than everyone else so she could help out with any tasks which were to be completed. She and Tina stood by the kitchen window watching as Catherine and Mags shared some hearty laughs by the pool.

“Looks like they are really happy.”

Tina nodded in agreement. “You know, I never knew my mom wasn’t happy. I mean…don’t get me wrong, I did see her smile and have some good times with dad but this is totally different. She’s an entirely different woman…laughing a lot, looking happier than ever before…really alive.”

Outside, Mags teased Catherine with the green olive from her martini. “They really seem like they click,” Bette noted before glancing at the clock. “What time is everyone else expected?”

Tina’s eyes refused to leave the view from the window, as did her thoughts.

“Tee?”

“Huh? Sorry…did you say something?”

Bette smirked as she slipped her hands around Tina’s waist. “I asked what time everyone else was showing up.”

Tina turned around, allowing Bette’s hands to rest on her hips as she faced her. “In about thirty minutes.”

“Are you nervous?”

“About meeting her daughter?”

“Yeah…and…our friends, ya know…them seeing us as a couple again?”

“No and no. I’m okay with it all. I look at it this way, if I don’t like her daughter, I’m off to school anyway. As for our friends, I know they were always happy with our being together before, and if there is anything I’ve learned Bette, it is that I’m not going to worry about what others think about me and who I am seeing.” Tina felt Bette’s hands firmly squeeze her hips.

“I’m glad about that. It’s been a long journey back, and to know you are so secure with who you are and what you want has made it all so much better.”

Tina slid her hand along Bette’s jaw. “I know baby…it’s all forward from here.”

Bette’s hands slipped down the side of Tina’s jeans and to her ass. Her palms pressed against the fabric, squeezing each ass cheek as she smiled at the blonde. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too…so much.” Tina leaned in, bringing her lips to Bette’s as she sealed those words. Pulling back she pushed a stray curl from Bette’s face. “I can’t wait to be living in the same place…going to bed each night together…waking up so close to your body every morning.”

Bette’s eyes closed as she responded to the image. She slowly opened them just before Tina’s lips once again pressed against her own. Their tongues began to playfully tease the other as their kiss deepened. The chills ran up and down Tina’s spine each time she felt Bette’s grip tighten each cheek.

#

“What are you doing?” Alice questioned as she exited Dana’s car.

“Trying to carve something out of this stick,” Mark responded.

“Be careful with that knife,” Dana warned. “You wouldn’t want to hurt yourself.”

“I’m careful. I use this for Boy Scouts.”

“Ah…well then of course it must be safe,” Dana remarked sarcastically. “Where is everyone?”

“Out back,” Mark replied nonchalantly. 

Alice led the way to the back yard, carrying two trays of brownies. She yelled to Tina the first moment her eye caught sight of the blonde. “Hey…Kennard…hope you have some ice cold milk to go with these brownies!”

Tina looked over to the gated entrance to her back yard to find Dana and Alice approaching. “Hey girls!”

“Oh yeah, let’s hope that is some of her home made brownies,” Shane remarked.

Bette laughed. “You mean the happy ones?”

“Hell yeah. Do you remember when she made them for the big fourth of July party we had here two years ago?”

“How could I forget? My dad ended up eating the wrong brownies and it was hysterical,” Tina recalled. 

Alice placed one tray on the table, bringing the other to the girls who were gathered on the wicker chairs. “Speaking of hysterical,” she replied, lifting the tin foil from the top of the tray. “How about a sample?”

#

“OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW,” came the cry from the front of the house.

Recognizing Mark’s panicked voice, Tina ran from the back yard.

“What’s going on?” Alice asked.

“I don’t know,” Bette said as she ran after Tina. “Sounded like her brother.”

In the short time it took to run to the front of the house, Mark had already made his way inside to his mother. Tina rushed up the stairs to find her brother by the kitchen sink screaming as his mother held his hand under the running water.

“What happened?”

Before Tina received an answer, she noticed Mags standing at the sliding doors to the back yard asking for the cars to be moved from the driveway.

“Mom, what’s going on?”

“We have to take Mark to the ER.”

“What happened?”

As Mark cried, Catherine tried to comfort him by reassuring him that he was going to be okay while she wrapped his hand in a clean dish towel.

“He cut himself with a knife,” Mags responded. “I’m going to drive him and your mother to the hospital.”

“Oh…okay…can I do anything?” Tina asked, as Bette departed from the kitchen to move her car.

“You can stay here and entertain your friends. I’ll try to give my daughter a call on her cell to let her know I’ll be a bit late returning back here.”

“It will be okay…we’ll get to know one another while you are gone,” Tina remarked. “By the time you both get back here, we will be like old friends she and I.”

Tina didn’t know it, but they were already like “old” friends…hell, at one time they were a lot more than that.


	178. Chapter 178

CHAPTER 178

Tina and Bette returned to the back yard and explained what had happened to Mark.

“I told him he was going to get cut if he kept playing with that!” Dana shook her head, feeling a bit guilty she hadn’t been more adamant with her warning. “Is he going to be okay?”

“I think so. I didn’t get a good look at it really,” Tina answered as she reached for a brownie. “I might as well get a good buzz going.”

“Might as well before Shane hogs them all.” Alice threw a glance towards Shane who wrinkled her nose back at her.

While the girls started talking about the summer that had just passed, and the upcoming semester which they would all be returning to, the afternoon was going to bring more surprises than just this unexpected accident with Mark….

#

Helena glanced down one last time at the number of the house before dropping the note to the passenger’s seat and returning her attention to the phone conversation. “I don’t know Jan, I feel like I’ve been here before.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I was in this area at night…a while back…when I was dating someone.”

“You don’t remember where your ex lived?”

Helena couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh that does sound silly doesn’t it? It was only one time that I brought her home and it was in the evening. I wasn’t paying much attention to the street or the house number for that matter, but I…I’m almost positive that it was either right around the corner or…” Helena peered through the windshield, trying hard to recall which home Tina lived in. The last thing she wanted to add to the already stressful afternoon, was to bump into Tina Kennard. 

“Hel?”

“I’m sorry…I’m sure that this is the neighborhood. With my bloody luck I’ll end up bumping damn straight into my ex while I’m in the area.”

“Baby, I’m sure it will be okay. Even if you are in your ex-girlfriends neighborhood, she probably is busy. It is the weekend don’t forget. Was it a messy breakup?”

“It wasn’t a pleasant one…at least not for me. I understand she went back to her former girlfriend.”

“Ouch. How did you find that out?”

“Well…I think she forgot that I was still on her Myspace page. Since I had taken my picture off and replaced it with a generic icon, I don’t think it has stood out to her.”

Jan was slightly annoyed. “Why did you keep her as a friend on your page?”

“I don’t know…I suppose I never gave much thought to taking it off.”

“Are you sure that is all there is to it?”

Helena pulled into the driveway, once again confirming the number of the house with that which was written on her note. “Yes, that is all there is.”

“When did she get back with her girlfriend?” Jan was slowly going to pin down Helena’s motivations. 

“Um…recently…quite recently as a matter of fact. I’m not sure how soon they got back together, but I only noticed her blog the other day.” 

Neither Helena or Jan knew the names of the other’s ex-girlfriend. It was something they never went into great detail to discuss, and this conversation was about as extensive as it had ever gotten.

“I don’t like that you are keeping up with her blogs Helena. Are you over this chick?”

Helena expressed a disgruntled sigh. “I’m bloody well over her. If I never see her again I would be quite happy.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes darling. Honestly, I haven’t paid much attention to my page, and when I did notice that I still had her on there, I got a little nosey…that’s all. I clicked on her page and only read the blog because of some flashy subject line she had. Other than that, I have not kept tabs on the woman in the least.”

“Good. The past is best left in the past…”

“Completely.” As Helena exited the car, she bid farewell to Jan who advised she would be dropping text messages to see how things were going. 

Helena took a deep breath in and let it out slowly as she straightened her blouse, prepared to head down the driveway and to the back yard.

#

Shane had her head against the back of the lounger when she heard a car door. She turned her head slightly and propped her sunglasses up. “What the fu - ?”

“Eh?” Alice asked, watching as Shane sat straight up to get a better look.

“Helena…what is Helena doing here?”

The shorter fence that bordered the front of the house was in place for aesthetic value, but offered a keen view of the driveway. 

Shane’s eyes quickly glanced at Tina and Bette who were standing by the grill. “What the hell is she doing here?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to tell Tina.” Alice darted from the chair to the grill, calling after Tina as she made her way towards the blonde. 

“I knew she shouldn’t have started eating the brownies,” Bette warned as she witnessed Alice’s hysteria. 

“She does seem a bit frantic,” Tina agreed. “Alice…what on earth?”

“Helena…Helena is here!”

“Huh?”

“What do you mean she is here?” Bette questioned.

As Bette and Tina gave Alice their attention, Shane and Dana watched over the fence as yet another surprise showed up.

#

Just as Helena placed her hand on the latch to the back gate, she turned her head towards the driveway, noticing Jan’s car pulling in. She started back down the driveway towards her car. “What on earth are you doing?’

“Well…um…” Jan felt a bit embarrassed as she had been behind Helena in her own car to head to the mall when they were conversing, but as the conversation took the turn it did, Jan decided to follow her.

“Jan?”

“Hel, I couldn’t let you go alone.”

Helena hardly allowed herself to be needy or less than self-assured. “I would have been okay.”

Jan arched a brow, sliding her hand along Helena’s arm once she was close enough. “Babe, I know you are capable of doing this, but I also know how tense you have been about it.”

“Fine, you can use the excuse you have a headache so we can get out of here sooner than later.”


	179. Chapter 179

CHAPTER 179

“No fucking way!” Shane screeched. 

“Isn’t that the girl that Bette-“

“Yes!” Shane said aloud. In her panicked and confused state, she wasn’t sure if she should warn Bette, or hurry to the back gate and meet both of the women to inquire about their motives for being there.

“I don’t like this Shane,” Dana said nervously. “What are their ex girlfriends doing here?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” Shane stood from the lounge chair and began walking towards the gate. 

“Hey Shane…Shaney,” Tina called, interrupting Shane’s stride.

Before Tina could finish, Shane attempted to bypass the conversation. “In a minute Tina.”

“Alice said that Helena is here…is that true?” Bette quickly blurted out, causing Shane to stop in one place. The hesitation was long enough to allow both Helena and Jan the opportunity to open the back gate. 

As Helena turned her attention to the back yard, the gate had just closed behind Jan, eliminating any opportunity for a quick escape. 

“What the--?” Jan’s eyes seemed to locate Bette immediately.

“Bloody hell!” It wasn’t long before Helena noticed Tina.

In unison both Bette and Tina’s eyes fixated on their former girlfriends.

“Fuck,” Shane whispered as her eyes jumped from Bette and Tina to Helena and Jan like she was watching a tennis match.

“Er…awwwwkward?” Alice quipped nervously before shoving a brownie into her mouth and chasing it down with a gulp of her rum and coke.

Helena reached for her cell phone as Jan started to turn back towards the gate. “Fuck Helena, you must have messed up the address!”

Tina started to get nervous. “Bette, what are they doing here? Maggie’s daughter is expected any time now, and the last thing I want is a fucking dyke fight!’

“Can I help you with something?” Bette shouted out as she began walking towards Jan, recognizing the company she had brought with her and how odd it was that her ex and Tina’s ex would not only be together but making such a sudden and unplanned appearance.

Dana stood from the chair and quickly joined Alice by the small outdoor bar. “I want front seats for this. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Bette go all dyke on someone.”

“That isn’t going to happen,” Shane assured while walking a few steps behind Bette.

“Do something Hel…”

“Mother…mother can you hear me?” Helena turned her back towards the approaching brunette. “Mother…I can hardly hear you, you’re breaking up. The address…WHAT was the address?”  
“Jan,” Bette said coldly. “What are you doing here?”

“I…well the hell if I know. Clearly there is a mistake.”

“Is it though?” Bette’s eyes pierced Jan’s. She wasn’t convinced of any mistake when it came to her ex, and especially at a time where she and Tina were starting out once more. “I see you have met Tina’s ex.”

“Huh?” Jan wasn’t sure of what she heard. “What are you talking about?”

Bette nodded her head in Helena ’s direction.

“Mother…dammit get to a bloody place that you can hear me!”

Jan’s eyes widened as she started making the connection. “Tina…your ex Tina?”

“My current girlfriend, yes.”

The word ‘current’ caused Jan’s face to go red. It was a sensitive topic, any one of Bette’s former interests for that matter, but Tina…her especially. “Oh…really?”

“Yes.”

“Congratulations are in order right J?” Shane asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from what could become a volatile situation quite quickly.

“My ass!” Jan said sarcastically. “Come on Hel, let’s go.”

Helena ignored Jan, and most of the conversation which had already occurred. Her only intent was to confirm the address. There was no way in hell that she could be at the correct address…and if…IF she was…then she hoped like hell that the ‘daughter’ of her mother’s girlfriend had not arrived yet. “What? Are you sure that is the address mother?”

Tina joined Bette, crossing her arms as she waited for Helena to end the call. When she did, Helena appeared white as a ghost. 

“Oh …bloody…hell.”

“ Helena , come on…let’s get the fuck out of here!” Jan pulled at Helena ’s sleeve as she attempted to encourage her back to the car.

“No! We…we are here…we are at the right house.”

“The right house?” In a few seconds Jan realized what Helena was saying. “Oh my god! Don’t even tell me!!”

Bette and Tina looked at one another before Bette spoke. “What are you talking about ‘the right house’?”

“You wanna place any bets?” Alice joked as she and Dana watched from a distance. “Cause, like I am totally going to put two brownies on Bette.”

“I don’t know, I’ve met that Jan girl. She can be one tough girl.”

“Don’t care, I’m telling ya…these chicks want to rumble, Bette will kick their ass.”

“Maybe. Pass me another brownie huh?”

Helena’s hand grabbed at her own throat. “I…I think I’m going to pass out. I can’t breathe!”

“Will you stop being so dramatic and just tell us what you are talking about?” Tina said impatiently. “We are expecting company here today that doesn’t need to be exposed to any drama.”

“I don’t think she is faking it,” Jan offered nervously. “Someone get her a chair.”

Everyone hesitated before Shane retrieved a folding chair and brought it over. Once Helena sat down, she continued. “Please…please tell me she hasn’t arrived yet!’

“Who?” Shane asked. “Who hasn’t arrived?”

“I don’t even know her name,” Helena replied in desperation. She felt her forehead perspire. Her eyes returned to Tina, in time for the blonde to begin putting two and two together. 

“Oh Fuck!” Tina’s voice was filled with panic. 

Bette and Shane looked to Tina, now noting how frantic she looked.

“Is it catchy or something?” Shane asked, a little paranoia setting in from the pot laced brownies.

“Would someone tell me what the fuck is going on here?” Bette screamed out, feeling completely helpless as Tina began falling further into a state of anxiety. Her arms quickly embraced her girlfriend, sensing that her legs were getting shaky by the second.

“Which one? Which one of you is the daughter of my mother’s girlfriend?” Helena asked aloud.

It was out there… Helena was obviously the ‘daughter’ that everyone had been waiting on. Now it was time for her to learn which one of the girls in the back yard had the potential of becoming her step-sister one day.


	180. Chapter 180

CHAPTER 180

Alice’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “Oh my god! Did you hear what she asked?”

Dana caught her breath the moment Helena’s words left her lips. She failed to add a single word to Alice’s question as she watched in horror.

“Whoa, wait…what did you say?” Shane’s question matched the same one Bette had.

“You’re full of it,” came Bette’s words as she continued to support Tina around her waist.

“I…I wish I was. My mother, she gave me this address saying that I was to attend a cookout today to meet her girlfriend’s daughter and son.”

“This…this just cannot be happening!” Tina screamed out. “What are the fucking chances that I…that you…that we?!”

Shane couldn’t help but want to laugh. The combination of booze and a few funny brownies only added to the situation. “Damn Tina…I’ve done a lot of women, but I haven’t even done one that had the chance of becoming my step-“

“Enough already,” Bette warned. 

“Come on Hel, you couldn’t possibly be accepted here.” Jan’s eyes pierced Bette’s. She wasn’t happy with their breakup, and it showed more now than ever. “With the likes of the company that Tina keeps, you would only have problems.”

“Fuck you Jan,” Bette shot back. “You need to grow up and get over the fact that at least I recognized that you and I were not going to have a future. Don’t be some scorned woman who has to carry the anger long afterwards.”

“Go to hell Porter.”

“Watch what you say to my woman,” Tina cautioned. “I won’t have you or anyone else putting her down. She is the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I won’t ever have someone tell me otherwise.”

While Jan rolled her eyes at Tina’s confession, Helena felt the words cut in a more deeper way.

“You didn’t seem to feel she was the best thing that happened to you when my head was between your legs!”

As the tension began growing between the ex couples, Alice had fallen into a state of hysteria as she watched the women take stabs at one another. “Oh…my…ha, ha.ha…I cannot believe that Tina was fucking her step sister!!!”

“Al, shhh…don’t let them hear you or you will be their next victim!” Dana had felt the same sense of humor that Alice was, but was doing a far better job controlling it.

“I..I can’t…ha,ha,ha…help…it!”

Tina’s face had gone red. The last thing she needed was Helena reminding her of the details of their intimacy. “Let’s not rehash the events of our relationship. Things may not have ended as you would have liked, but you don’t have to try to compete with Bette. Ultimately, she is the one I have chosen to be with…and…” Tina looked over at Bette as she squeezed her hand tightly in her own. “…with any luck, we will have a lifetime together.”

Helena folded her arms as her ego continued to suffer a series of blows. “She couldn’t possibly offer you the life I could have Tina.” Helena’s eyes glanced at Bette from head to toe. “The money I have would give you a life of luxury and freedom.”

Jan wasn’t impressed with Helena’s desire to share all that she could have given to Tina had they remained together. “You don’t need her Hel…she’s just white trash.”

“Watch it Jan!” Bette once again warned her ex. 

“Or what Bette?”

“Or what? I’ll kick your ass off this property is what I will do!”

“What on earth is going on back there?” Catherine asked as she and Mags made their way down the driveway to the backyard. Mark took a different route into the house, as Mags followed behind Catherine.

“I don’t know, but we’ll soon find out.”

Shane was doing her best to ward off a larger confrontation that appeared imminent. “Come on guys, just let it go. It’s an awkward situation, but it is what it is. No one says you have to be best of friends, but for the sake of your mom’s it would at least be nice to be respectful to one another.”

Tina ignored Shane’s words as she eagerly responded to Helena’s invaluable words. “You have no clue what love is. In some ways I feel bad for you Helena. If you think that having the best of this or that, or going to the finer restaurants or vacation spots is the most important part of a relationship, then you are living a twisted life.”

“Before I leave you to playing with the rest of these children here, let me just inform you of something. Under no circumstances will you ever get a cent of my mother’s money. The Peabody’s are an extremely wealthy family, and I am the sole inheritor of millions upon millions of dollars.”

Catherine and Peggy were both taken by the situation they had walked in on. 

“What’s going on here?” Catherine asked, her eyes focused primarily on her daughter.

Tina’s nostrils were flaring, as was Helena’s. Both women looked like bulls ready to spar with one another. 

“Helena?” Peggy urged a response. 

“Nothing mother.”

“It bloody hell didn’t sound like nothing. What is this about being the sole inheritor?”

Though they were not officially introduced, both Catherine and Helena quickly became aware of who the other was.

“I’m sorry you heard that.”

“Who were you saying that to?”

Helena’s eyes glanced towards Tina.

“Tina? I don’t understand.”

“Why don’t you tell mother about us Tina,” Helena said sarcastically.

Peggy and Catherine both looked at Tina with perplexed faces. Tina’s face once again turned a deep shade of red.

“Honey…what is it?” Catherine asked.

“Helena and…well…we had been seeing each other for a little while.”

Peggy’s eyes widened. She knew her daughter had only been serious about one woman, but didn’t recall the young woman’s name.

Catherine too remembered that Tina had been seeing another young lady once she decided that she would begin dating women again. She couldn’t believe that Helena was the woman. What were the chances that their daughters were seeing one another, and that they had been doing so before they had even found one another again? The irony was incredible.

“It’s highly uncomfortable mother,” Helena added.

“Okay, listen to me…let’s all just take a seat and talk about this. Certainly this isn’t something that any of us could have imagined happening, but it isn’t something that cannot be dealt with and then move forward.” Peggy was going to try her hardest to bring these families together, because it was important to both she and Catherine that there be an amicable feeling between their children.

“Um, with all respect how do you suppose you can get beyond the fact that you both had your head between the other chicks legs?” Jan asked bluntly, a question which again raised reasonable discomfort between everyone.

“Oh man this is getting so fucking awesome!” Alice announced a little louder than she should have, causing the group to focus their entire attention on her.


	181. Chapter 181

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone....enjoy!

CHAPTER 181

Peggy’s jaw tightened in response to Jan’s tactless comment. “And just who might you be?”

Jan was still fuming over Bette’s decision to return to Tina, and the result was her inability to be both logical and respectful. In her mind, this may be one of the only opportunities to drive home the venom which ran through her veins. “I’m the current woman with her head between your daughter’s legs.”

Catherine’s brows arched, shocked by the words which continued to be flung. The day she planned was falling apart before her eyes, and though she tried her hardest to refrain from showing her disappointment, the tears had started to fill the lids of her eyes.

“Is that so?” Peggy questioned. “Well…I am confident that my daughter will come to her senses and realize that she can do much better than having a horse’s ass between her legs.”

Jan shrieked at the insult, quickly turning her attention towards Helena. “Are you going to stand there and just let your mother insult me like that?”

“I…well I…”

“Ugh!” 

“Until the time my daughter kicks you to the curb, you can consider yourself unwelcome here and leave.”

Alice started chuckling once more. “Yes Jan…you my dear are the weakest link…goodbye!”

Dana’s laughs joined Alice’s, again causing a few heads to turn in their direction.

“Fine, I don’t need to be here!” Jan turned towards the back gate to leave. “Are you coming Hel?”

“No she is not,” Peggy said firmly as her eyes caught Helena’s.

“Mother, really…”

“Helena,” Peggy said sharply as she arched her brow.

Tina was impressed with Peggy’s stance and how quickly Helena melted by the tone in her mother’s voice.

“Jan, I’ll call you later,” Helena said quietly.

Jan was furious. “What?!”

“I need to stay.”

“You need to grow up. Lose my number!” Jan swung the back gate hard as she departed the back yard and headed down the driveway towards her car.

“Now…if it is okay with everyone, I think it’s very important that Cookie and I talk to both of you girls…privately.”

Tina looked at Bette, who nodded in agreement.

“We won’t be too long, I promise,” Tina said as she let go of Bette’s waist.

Bette and Shane walked towards Alice and Dana where they settled themselves on the available chairs.

“What’s going on?” Alice questioned, her words laced with confusion.

“Mother Peabody is holding an executive session with the family,” Shane joked as she reached for a brownie. “You are shut off by the way.”

“Me?” Alice asked, her voice filled with innocence.

“Yes you,” Bette replied. “You are totally done…no more booze, no more brownies.”

“No way!”

Dana smirked, happy that she was spared. “Some gals just can’t handle their stuff.”

“Shut it Dane.”

Shane watched as Bette looked towards the glass slider where everyone was seated on the other side. “You okay?”

Bette turned her head towards Shane and nodded. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It was…incredibly stupid. Jan should have never showed up, and never should have opened her big fat mouth about things.”

“No, she definitely shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t even know how I ever found myself involved with her,” Bette said solemnly. “I mean, she is nothing like Tina.”

“I think someone’s real character shows in times of challenge and struggle. I mean obviously she seemed to be a fit for you at one time, but that was when you saw only that good side. Sometimes when you part with someone, they just can’t handle the fact that you ended things and they turn spiteful and bitter…and…completely crazy!” Shane wasn’t one to be in long term relationships, but she had her share of experiences which offered words of wisdom on many occasions. 

“I guess you’re right. I never seen this side of her…this demeaning, calculating, spiteful side. I mean, get over it ya know? I chose not to stay with her…and it never came down to just one reason. There was a culmination of a lot of reasons. Looking back, I can see a lot of things more clearer…and sadly enough, I can see a lot of deceit that came from her.”

The girls remained quiet, allowing Bette to freely share what was on her mind.

“It was a process, but I realized more and more how I was never going to build a life with Jan. I couldn’t trust her completely…I couldn’t depend on her to be true to half of what came from her mouth. In some ways I think I felt bad for some of the issues she had, because Lord knows she had to have a lot of issues to be so manipulating at times.”

“Why then…why did you stay with her for that long?” Dana asked.

It was a reasonable question, and one which didn’t take long for Bette to respond. “You know Dane, I guess I didn’t see half of it until I broke free from her. Only then did I actually see things for what they were.”

“I remember she came to me after that…to my place,” Shane offered.

“She did?” It wasn’t something Bette was aware of. “What did she want?”

“She was pretty pissed off. She was saying that it was all your fault.”

“What a cunt!” Alice spewed. “Did she honestly think she could go to Bette’s friends and start bad mouthing her?”

“I nearly fell for some of what she said,” Shane said with personal disappointment. “Somehow I just started to feel bad. The way she was telling me stuff I just started to think it could be true.” 

“You’re a good friend,” Bette said as she slid her hand up and down Shane’s back. “It can be hard to be impartial and keep an open mind.”

“It wasn’t my place to honestly get involved either,” Shane replied. “I mean, whatever happens between friends is between them. You shouldn’t feel like you have been placed in the middle of some stupid war.”

“It becomes a test of loyalty for some. I’m blessed my friends were able to see through the smoke screen that she tried to create.” Bette’s eyes focused back on the glass doors.


	182. Chapter 182

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, only 3 chapters left to conclude No Other Love...

CHAPTER 182

Peggy and Catherine were each seated on one of the living room chairs, while Helena and Tina settled at opposite ends of the sofa. The tension between the two young girls was clear. Catherine nervously twisted her hands, unsure if there would ever be a harmonious relationship between the two young women.

Peggy cleared her throat before speaking. “You are not the only two people surprised here. Catherine and I had no clue that either of you had ever even met one another let alone dated. Clearly the shock of this realization and the discomfort you both must be feeling is genuine. I think anyone would feel what you are both feeling right now.”

The acknowledgement of what they were feeling was somewhat of a comfort to both young women. Peggy had their full attention, and the wisdom of beginning the conversation with such understanding was proof of just how wise this refined woman was.

“Now…I don’t know how things ended between the both of you, but I think it’s safe to assume that there are some hard feelings. Perhaps a little more difficult from one than the other?”

The question prompted both of the young ladies to steal a quick glance at the other. 

“Am I correct?”

Both nodded, but for different reasons. Tina was confirming that Helena was the woman scorned, while Helena’s acknowledgement represented that she had found the breakup more difficult than Tina.

“I can understand feelings of hurt…disappointment,” Peggy continued.

Catherine’s eyes focused on Peggy. She knew all too well how hurt Peggy was when she had decided to marry Jerry.

“When I first met Cookie in college, my feelings…they were bloody deep…deeper than anything I had ever felt in my life. I fell hard for her. I would have given up everything I ever had in my life to be with her, and she knew it. I was prepared to walk away from all the wealth…my family…my community. Oh…how I wanted so to be the one she chose to walk with.”

Catherine reached for a tissue from the box on the table beside her. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes as Peggy continued to share her most intimate feelings.

The young women could sense the raw emotion being expressed. It was as if Peggy had gone to that place again, on campus…experiencing each and every piece of the past as she shared it with them.

“I was in love with her…completely.”

“And I with her,” Catherine added, prompting both women to lock eyes with the other. “So much so…”

“But?” Helena asked quietly.

“Well, as life would have it…Cookie had ended up choosing a different path. She ended up marrying Tina’s father.”

“It wasn’t an easy decision. I had…well I ended up pregnant. I had been trying to be everything that my parents wanted. I was trying to live that hetero life they expected and always planned for me to live. When I learned I was pregnant I was torn. I so wanted to have the baby, but…but with Mags. I knew it couldn’t be, and I was so young…I still needed to have the support of my family. Mags and I were so young. We couldn’t possibly raise a child together. I also couldn’t hide such a thing from Jerry, as it was his child and he had a right to be a father to that baby.”

Though Tina had heard most of the story from her mother, it was moving to hear Peggy’s thoughts and feelings.

“I was devastated when Cookie told me that she would be marrying Jerry. In my heart I knew I would never find another love like that.”

“But you ended up marrying father,” Helena noted. 

“I too fell into that expected life. I suppose in some ways I knew that I wasn’t going to be with the woman I had always wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so I reconciled my life and decided that I would do what I could to build a happy marriage and family.”

“Wow…it must have been hard. Did you ever bump into one another after you broke up?” Tina questioned.

“Yes, we sure did,” Peggy replied.

“It must have been terribly hard mother.”

“It sure was Helena. But, I had to settle my mind and understand that if Cookie felt that was the best thing for her to do at the time, and if she was happy then I needed to be content with that.” Peggy looked her daughter in the eye. “Just as you need to find contentment in the fact that Tina has made a decision to be with the woman she loves.”

It was hard for Helena to come to terms with being dumped. In some ways, it wasn’t even that she held a torch for Tina anymore…certainly not now that their relationship drastically changed without any input from either of them.

“And that includes, putting the Peabody ego on the back burner,” Peggy said firmly.

“You know Helena,” Tina turned towards the dark haired Brit. “Bette was my first. If it weren’t for my father’s pressure for me to adhere to what he wanted of me, I never would have let her go. I would have stuck with that relationship. I feel like I messed up so many people as I tried to figure my life out. I dated some guys, girls….knowing full well that deep in my heart, my entire being was in love with Bette.”

It was one of the first times a calm conversation started to occur between them.

“I took such a huge risk because Bette could have found someone else. I’m not crazy enough to believe that there is just one person in this world for someone. I believe that there are many people that compliment your soul and touch you in ways you cannot imagine. I could have lost Bette to someone else, and … well who knows…I mean maybe I would have eventually found another person that filled my heart and soul like she did, but in the end I can see that I wasn’t ever going to give someone that genuine opportunity because she had held that place in my life.”

“You can’t let anger fill your heart Helena,” Peggy said in a gentle voice. “It’s hard…it can be hard to have your heart broken, but you have the choice after the tears subside as to whether you will allow yourself to be filled with all the terrible feelings or if you can try to focus on the fact that at one point you had shared happy times and good feelings together. If you can focus on the latter, then you never let the anger fill your heart.”

Catherine reached over and placed her hand over Peggy’s. “I’m thankful that Mags never felt that, or at least didn’t hold onto those feelings. It allowed us to find one another again, when we never in a million years thought we would have. As fate would have it, we were quite fortunate to be given a second chance.”

“Well, I hope like bloody hell that we aren’t given another chance!” Helena said with a big sigh.

“Helena!” Peggy reprimanded.

“No, I don’t mean it in that way. I mean…if we have the chance of being…umm…step sisters, I hope we don’t ever find ourselves in that place.”

Tina couldn’t help by start laughing. “For once I think we agree on something.”

Helena smirked. “I suppose we do.”

“Can I just say something to you, in a step-sister sort of way?” Tina teased.

“We are so not step-sister’s.”

“Yet,” Peggy chimed in, giving Cookie’s hand a reaffirming squeeze as she did.

“Yeah…um…right,” Helena said sheepishly.

Tina continued, “As I was saying…my advice to you is dump the pit bull.”

Peggy’s eyes brightened. “I second that motion!”

“Oh brother.”

“Sorry Hel, it’s just that she really isn’t the most pleasant girl on the planet. No doubt you could do much better than her.”

The compliment didn’t go unnoticed. Peggy and Catherine smiled at one another as Helena looked over at Tina once more. 

Tina continued, “You are a smart and pretty woman who could get anyone.”

Helena straightened her posture as she welcomed the words of affirmation. “Well, I suppose there is some truth to that statement.”

Within a short time, the room was filled with laughter and the tension seemed to have disappeared. Peggy reminded both young women that she could understand their awkwardness, and though she was not going to add any pressure in terms of them becoming the best of friends, she wasn’t going to tolerate disrespect between the two.


	183. Chapter 183

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ladies, my final author notes on this long journey of No Other Love as these are the final 3 chapters being posted right now. What a journey it was. Such a strong message about following your heart, not matter your age, but how life can sometimes deliver a curve ball and we just settle. We settle thinking that we can accept a certain path, and it may take many years to realize how much happiness was missing. 
> 
> I thank each and everyone one of your for reading, and especially to those who take the time to comment. It take a while to write and when readers take a moment to provide feedback, it just fuels us to continue our commitment to the story and the readers.
> 
> There will be a new Fan Fic being posted tomorrow! Another interesting journey to say the least...
> 
> ~ Chicki

CHAPTER 183

“What do you suppose is happening in there?” Dana questioned. “It’s been some time.”

“I don’t know. Whatever it is, I just hope that Tina is getting some support from her mom and stuff.” Bette’s eyes were seldom off the glass slider as she waited for Tina to return to the back yard.

“Have you thought about how you will be?” Shane asked.

Bette returned her attention to Shane. “Huh?”

“With Helena being close in Tina’s life now.”

“Oh…not really. I mean she will be at school and living with me, so I haven’t honestly given it a whole lot of thought. I don’t think there will be many times where they will even be in one another’s company.”

“True.”

“Plus,” Bette quickly added. “I trust Tee. I know that nothing would ever happen between them.”

“Definitely not now!” Alice blurted out as her head lay back against the cushion.

“You need to try to sleep it off Al,” Dana suggested. 

“And miss something? NO way Dane…no way.”

The girls couldn’t help but laugh, something which slowly came to a halt when the glass doors slid open.

Catherine was the first to exit, followed by Mags, Helena and finally Tina. The laughter that had continued as they walked across the deck and down the stairs to the pool was surprising to each of the girls.

“Wow…looks like maybe the meeting was a success,” Shane whispered.

Bette stood from the chair; her eyes never leaving Tina. 

“Girls, I don’t think you have properly met my daughter…this is Helena Peabody.”

Helena tried hard not to turn shy. “Hello…”

“Hey,” Shane said, noting the respect that Helena’s mother could command.

“I’d like it if we can just forget everything that has happened, and just look at this like it’s the first time we are meeting Helena,” Tina offered, bringing a warm smile from Helena.

Tina’s eyes quickly scanned her friends, settling on Bette.

“Um…yeah…sure,” Dana replied, nudging Alice as she did.

“Huh? Okay…I’ll do whatever everyone else does.”

Peggy turned back towards Catherine whispering, “A true leader that young girl.”

Catherine chuckled before asking Peggy if she would mind firing the grill up so they could start cooking some of the food. As the older women continued forward with the preparations for the cookout, Helena settled on a chair next to Shane. The awkwardness was unnerving.

“Alright, so I guess this is kind of weird,” Tina admitted. “But if you guys think you feel a little awkward right now, just think how we both feel knowing that we…um…”

“How about those Angels?” Shane asked, prompting a few laughs.

“Yeah, how about them?” Alice said as she looked up at the clouds. “I think I can see one there…oh and there too.”

Helena looked towards the sky, rather confused by Alice’s remark. “Is she okay?”

“Had too many brownies,” Shane replied. 

“Really?” The bewildering feelings remained. “I don’t understand, wouldn’t she be just the opposite? A bit more hyper perhaps?”

Shane smirked. “Not the kind of brownies she had.”

“Pardon?”

Tina leaned forward, hoping to keep her voice down as she relayed the contents of the brownies to Helena. “Would you care for one?”

“Oh, well I don’t know…I haven’t had that since-“

“Been that long huh?” Shane teased.

“No, it has not!” Helena said sharply. “Hand me one of those.”

Tina stood from the chair and reached for Bette’s hand. “Come with me.”

As the rest of the gang engaged in conversation with Helena, Tina and Bette departed for the house. 

“Don’t go too far, the food shouldn’t take too long to cook,” Catherine said as she passed them on her way from the house to the patio.

“We won’t Mom.”

Once inside, Tina and Bette settled on the sofa beside one another. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. More importantly are you?” Bette inquired.

Tina snaked her fingers through her blond hair and smiled. “What are the fucking chances huh?”

“No kidding. Honestly, I didn’t know what to think. I mean, on one hand I started thinking they were both here to start some shit. Then I started thinking to myself ‘how on earth do these two girls even know one another?’ because I didn’t think they had any connection to each other.”

“Me either. I never bothered to ask Helena how they met, and I don’t think I will either. It seemed Jan was pretty pissed off when she left, so I don’t think they are going to be staying together…not to mention, I told Hel that she could do better than that pit bull.”

Bette couldn’t help but laugh. “Hey now, I was once with her!”

“I know you were. Well, we all make mistakes sometimes,” Tina smiled. “I just want to make sure that you are okay. I know this is really weird.”

“Tee, it definitely is odd, but I’m okay. Hell, I’m probably more okay now than I ever would have been.”

“Why is that?”

“Because there isn’t a chance in hell that you would get down with someone who has the chance of being a step-sister.” Bette couldn’t help but laugh as the words left her lips.

“Baby, you never had a thing to be concerned about.” Tina leaned in and kissed the brunette gently.

“I know Tina. I’m not worried. My only concern has been you, and if you will be okay with it, and from what I could see a few minutes ago you both seem like you are going to try to just keep it all in the past. I think it’s the best thing you can do.”

“Me too. I’d like to think that our friends can try to keep an open mind and accept her…embrace her, ya know?”

Bette looked towards the glass slider. Outside, Shane was handing Helena a drink and appearing to play the role of hostess. “One of our friends may be more willing to do just that than the other two.”

Tina glanced where Bette’s eyes were focused and started to laugh. “Oh brother…just another hole on her belt.”

“Totally.”

“I’m not sure that Shane is her type.”

“Hey, one never knows. Shane can be a charmer ya know.”

“Uh huh…but not as charming as you.” Tina squeezed Bette’s thigh. “I have an idea that I wanted to pass by you.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Well…I was thinking, why don’t we move back to school earlier.”

“Earlier? We only have like two days-“

“I’d like to move back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Uh huh.”

“Why?”

“I just want to be together Bette. Once school starts, we are going to be on different schedules, and probably some visits from everyone that is back in school and stuff.” Tina played with the edge of Bette’s top. “I’d like us to have a few days alone.”

Bette arched a brow. “I would like that.”

“Do you think you could get your stuff together by then?”

“Actually, most of my stuff is already together. I have a few things still left out, but for the most part I’m nearly ready to go.”

“Good. I was able to get the last of my stuff from Eric’s place, so I’m all set with that and the things I have here too.”

Bette’s hands rested on Tina’s waist. “Tomorrow morning then?”

“Yeah…tomorrow morning.”


	184. Chapter 184

CHAPTER 184

Outside, the relationship between Mags and Catherine was enlightening. Helena hadn’t ever seen her mother so relaxed and compromising…not to mention, as happy.

When Bette and Tina returned outside, all eyes were upon them. 

“That is one fine looking couple there,” Maggie noted.

Catherine sipped her ice tea and smiled. “They were a match made in heaven I believe.”

Maggie pulled the last burger from the grill and placed it on the platter. “Fortunately they aren’t the only ones.” 

“No, they aren’t.”

Maggie brought the platter to the large patio table and called to the girls. “Food is ready!”

“Aweseome!” Mark said as he carefully walked down the back steps and towards the patio.

As the girls sat down at the table, Helena felt a bit awkward as to where to sit. “You can sit next to me here,” Shane invited. 

“Thank you,” Helena replied, more shy than usual.

The platter of burgers, hot dogs, and chicken was passed around as conversation ensued. 

“Can you pass me the ketchup Dane?” Alice was finding herself a bit tired, which caused her to be more quiet than usual.

“Anyone for some potato chips?” Catherine asked.

“I’ll have a few Mom.”

Peggy scanned the table. “Helena, can you pass the salad please.”

“Here you are mother.”

“Thank you dear. So…how excited are you girls to return to school this week?”

“I’m ready,” Shane replied. “I’m lucky that I live with my cousin, so I have a lot more privacy there than if I were living in a dorm.”

“You’re lucky,” Dana envied. “I’d like more privacy than what I get at school.”

“Well I’ll have more privacy now that I’ll be staying with Bette.” Tina squeezed Bette’s leg under the table.

“You’ll have to travel a little bit though,” Alice pointed out.

“Travel is worth it if you get to see your girlfriend every night,” Tina quickly replied.

“True.”

Bette smiled, “We are leaving in the morning.”

Catherine was confused. “Leaving?” 

“Bette and I decided to get back to school a little earlier than we were first planning.”

“Can I finally have her room?” Mark asked, prompting a chuckle from a few of the girls.

“No you may not. Tina is only at school, she hasn’t moved out.”

“But she has a bigger bedroom than me. I don’t have anymore room left.”

“Stop buying comic books and all that other junk you collect and you would have room,” Tina replied.

Helena finished chewing the hamburger and decided to add her two cents. “After a few years at school, you probably wouldn’t want to come back home.”

“That might be true.”

“Wouldn’t you two want to get a permanent place together?” Helena inquired.” I mean, that would be the natural progression.”

Tina looked at Bette, knowing full well that Bette would love nothing more than to live together permanently. “We have a couple of years in school…then afterwards…we’ll see, right babe?”

Shane held the hot dog a few inches from her face, waiting for Bette to reply. 

Dana and Alice waited on baited breath. The high school couple who all the girls adored were back together and stronger than ever before.

“After living together over the next few years, I can’t imagine we would ever find ourselves living separately again.”

“Emphasis on ever,” Mags whispered to Catherine. 

“Ever?” Alice questioned aloud.

Tina stared at the eyes which were captivating. “Ever,” the blonde reaffirmed.

“What was that?” Alice whispered next to Dana’s ear. “Was that like…I mean…a proposal?”

Dana elbowed Alice, advising her to quiet down.

“I am quiet.”

If ever it wasn’t so clear to Helena before, it sure was now. Bette and Tina were a force of love that nothing would ever separate again. It had withstood many tests, and passed every one of them.

“It all sounds quite serious,” Peggy said. Her boldness couldn’t be denied, and it was something which made quite a successful businesswoman.

Catherine smiled as she placed a fork full of salad into her mouth. She knew the love that her daughter and Bette shared, and wasn’t surprised at how serious things sounded. In fact, it would not surprise her if someday down the road Tina announced that they were engaged.

“What time do you plan on heading out?” Dana asked.

Bette and Tina looked at one another. “I don’t know,” Bette replied. “I suppose by ten.”

“We both have most of our things already packed, so it will probably be early.”

“You both have to promise to do a better job at keeping in touch. I hardly heard from either one of you last year,” Shane complained.

“I’m sorry about that. I promise to make a bigger effort.” Bette was sincere. She didn’t like the absence the first year seemed to have brought, but eased into the lack of contact more willingly due to the breakup between she and Tina. For Bette, the space allowed a time to heal.

“Me too…I promise too,” Tina piped in. “I think with both Bette and I living together, it will be easier to manage our time and do things.”

“Good. I’ll hold you to it,” Shane smirked. “Can someone pass me another hot dog?”

The conversations continued, and the afternoon passed quickly. It wasn’t long before everyone said goodbye, and both Mags and Catherine settled on the living room sofa to watch a movie. Bette and Tina on the other hand, remained outside on the patio.


	185. Chapter 185

CHAPTER 185 – FINAL CHAPTER

Bette leaned against the back of the lounge chair, her legs draped over each side as Tina sat between them. She welcomed the feeling of Tina’s body as it pressed back against her own. 

“I always loved when we did this,” Tina admitted, her hands caressing Bette’s legs as she leaned her head back against Bette’s shoulder.

Bette played with Tina’s hair, another thing that she knew her girlfriend enjoyed. “I’m looking forward to making up for lost time once we live together Tee.”

“I am too baby. The thought of waking up next to you every morning is…it’s exciting.” 

Bette rested her face next to Tina’s head, losing herself in the light tropical scent which emanated from her hair. “Mmm…it’s very exciting. I hope I don’t disappoint you too much.”

“How could you possibly disappoint me?” Tina questioned.

“Well, as you know, I’m not the greatest cook.”

Tina chuckled, remembering the time that Bette attempted to cook a romantic meal one weekend when her parents were away. The meal wasn’t the only thing to burn; a dishtowel had caught fire when Bette was attempting to grab the cast iron handle from inside the oven. “Honey, no worries…I’ve been known to throw together a few good dishes.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

“Since when?”

Tina pushed Bette’s leg. “Hey now…”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t know that you knew how to cook. I mean, gosh most times we have just grabbed something at the Planet or another fast food place when we have been hungry.”

“I had asked my mom for a few of her recipes and cooked them…”

Bette wondered what on earth would prompt the young girl to inquire about recipes. As she gave it further thought, she had a feeling it was when Tina and Eric were together, and decided it was best not to pry any further. 

“I can tell you that it’s pretty easy to follow a recipe card or any recipe for that matter.”

“You will have to teach me,” Bette said playfully.

“Oh really?” Tina turned her head slightly, her smile revealing her pearly whites. “Haven’t I taught you most everything you know already?”

Bette couldn’t help but laugh. “Seriously? I think not…as a matter of fact,” Bette leaned in closer as her hands dropped around Tina’s waist. “If I recall, I was the one who taught you how to put a cherry stem into a knot using just your tongue and teeth.”

Tina blushed, recalling that very night that Bette had brought a bag of cherries when they had gone parking. 

“AND,” Bette continued, “The acrobatic flexibility of that tongue didn’t stop at just the cherry stem if you recall.”

“Okay-Okay, maybe you have taught me a thing-“

“Or two,” Bette taunted, feeling Tina turn her body so she was now on her side. 

Tina snuggled her face into Bette’s shirt, relishing the alone time they were sharing beneath the dark blanket of sky above and the increased security she felt the moment Bette’s arms wrapped around her, followed by her legs. It had been quite a journey back together, and each felt blessed and grateful for the opportunity to make things right again. In many ways, Tina’s passage of self discovery was necessary, for it provided a deeper understanding of that which was most important in her life, and was something she couldn’t possibly have appreciated had she not taken the journey.

While it was hard for Bette to watch the young woman she had fallen so deeply in love with walk a separate path from her, the end result was more extraordinary than it ever would have been had Tina either dismissed the questions she had of herself, or surrendered her life to the expectations of a parent. Today, she could outwardly display her feelings for Tina and the place she held in the blonde’s life. It was a freeing, that ability to be open and not hide ones love from the world.

“Do you ever wonder what life is going to be like…down the road?”

Bette smiled, for her heart, mind, and soul had conjured up a variety of pleasant images of their future, especially in recent days. “I have…have you?”

“Uh huh.”

“Care to share?”

“I’ve pictured you washing my car for me every weekend…umm probably giving me a massage each night before bed…”

Bette started laughing, “Is that so?”

“Hey I’m not finished.” Tina tried to remain serious but couldn’t. “Alright, I’m kidding around.”

“Thankfully.”

“On a serious note, I would have to say that I have pictured us living at your place for-“

“Our place,” Bette interrupted.

Tina was pleased to find herself corrected. “Sorry, our place. I imagine us finding some property that we like and building a home together.”

“What else?” Bette encouraged.

“Um…I see us sharing responsibilities that come with making a home a home, and settling into our careers for a few years.”

“Then?”

“Hey, why am I the only one sharing here?” Tina asked. “What about you?”

“I’ve pictured so much of what you have as well. I guess I have already jumped ahead a bit too.” Bette’s eyes started to fixate on the pool.

“Yeah?”

“Yep.” 

“To when?”

Bette eyes left the pool and scanned Tina’s body. “I’ve pictured us, a few years down the road having a baby.”

Tina loved the thought, and cherished the words as each one of them left Bette’s lips. “You will make a wonderful mother Bette.”

“As will you Tee.”

“We will be great parents.”

“We will,” Bette said with certainty. “I think we’ve learned a lot from our parents as to how we should be, and…well in many ways the larger lesson has been that we have seen the imperfections in our own parents and have learned how we shouldn’t be too.”

“You know, you’re so right babe. I feel that my family has contributed quite a bit to who I am today, and while there are so many things I appreciate about their influence, there are a few things which I don’t agree with. Because of that, it’s important that I pave my own path as a parent one day.”

“You’ve already done that Tina, without even becoming a parent. You are finding your own place and your own way. It’s sort of like what your mom is doing now too. It’s a shame that it had to take so many years, but at least she has been given a chance that many never know, and that is living the life she was meant to live.”

“I’m so happy for her Bette.”

“I know you are hun. I am too. I hope things continue to go really well for both of them.” Bette looked towards the glass sliding doors, where the living room lamps illuminated the room against the darkness. “They sure look content.”

Tina lifted her head momentarily to take in the picture of both women on the sofa before returning it to Bette’s chest. “I hope they are just as happy as we are.”

Bette’s head turned back to the sliding glass door as Peggy’s laughter filled the air; Catherine’s could be heard in the distant living room. “Hey girls, where the hell are the rest of those brownies? We finished the ones that were in the first pan!”

Tina looked up at Bette and started to laugh. “I suppose they are even happier than we are if they ate Alice’s brownies.”

“Sounds like it,” Bette grinned. “Uhm, I think Alice ate the rest of them,” Bette called back to a disappointed Peggy.

“I love you Bette Porter,” Tina whispered, her words partially muffled against the brunette’s chest.

Bette’s hand rested on Tina’s hip as her eyes gazed at a few of the brighter stars above. “I love you more.” The affirmation was laced with genuine love and affection.

“Not possible,” Tina countered, her words lost in the night breeze that descended upon them. The unexpected chill prompted her to clench Bette even more as the brunette tightened her embrace. 

They remained quiet, each continuing to contemplate with a sense of wonder as to what lay ahead for them. So much of life before them with so many possibilities…it was an incredible feeling. The palette of their future had so much color, and the canvas while white had the potential of evolving into something spectacular. 

While the occasional breeze teased their skin, the feelings of safety, security and contentment provided a sense of warmth; contrasting the environment which enveloped them. In the arms of one another they easily surrendered themselves to a most peaceful state of sleep. 

No other love…it’s exceptional…unique…and if you are fortunate enough to find that type of love…I mean really really find it, never ever let go of it…not ever.

**THE END  
** © 2007 Chicki  
Disclaimer: This Fan Fiction posting contains fictitious characters and a fictitious storyline. Most characters belong to Ilene Chaiken and Showtime Television. Readers must not modify, copy/plagiarize, disseminate, or take action in reliance upon it, unless permitted by the said author of this Fan Fiction posting. None of the materials provided on this Fan Fiction posting may be used, reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including the use of any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from author.


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